Original subtitles

♪ Hello, world, hear the song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we had a dream we'd go travelin' together

♪ and spread a little lovin' then we'd keep movin' on

♪ somethin' always happens whenever we're together

♪ we get a happy feelin' when we're singin' a song

♪ travelin' along there's a song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ is there something that I can do?

♪ Am I losing you? All: ♪ am I losing you?

♪ Am I losing you? ♪ am I losing you?

♪ Oh, am I losing you? ♪ Am I losing you, baby?

♪ Is there something that I can do?

♪ Am I losing you? ♪ am I losing you?

♪ Oh, am I losing you?

Come on, Mr. Kincaid. You'll have a great time.

I do not want to go to captain chocolate's ice cream emporium.

I've been there once before and I had a lousy time.

Well, no wonder. You ordered the glutton surprise.

[Knocking at door]

Come with us, Reuben.

We promise not to let you make a pig of yourself again.

Shirley partridge. Yes?

You were just wonderful, wonderful.

All of you were wonderful, just terrific.

I loved your work. Thank you very much.

I'll handle this, Shirley.

I suppose you'd like an autographed picture.

Oh, yes, I'd like that very much.

Yeah, well, you leave your name and address with the maitre d',

and I'll see that you get one.

Oh, thank you very much. Thank you.

Plus a fan club application.

A fan... Thank you so much. You're welcome.

Thank you. That's okay.

[Knocking]

What am I thinking about? My name's Gus gorney.

Why, that's a terrific name.

And I'm a talent scout for world international pictures.

Yeah, well, a lot of guys go around trying to

pass themselves off as talent scouts.

Oh, not me, sir, not me.

I have some identification right here.

Uh-huh. Yeah, but that's a snapshot.

Oh, yes, yes. You see, that's me on the right...

Uh-huh... And the man on my left holding the shoulder...

L.b. Spiegel. Yeah.

The head of world international pictures.

Yeah, and my father-in-law.

Well, come on in, Mr... Gorney?

Call me Gus.

Gus! Danny, get Gus a chair.

Hi. Hi, how are you?

This will only take a minute. Never mind. Love your work.

What can we do for you, Mr. Gorney?

Oh, you see, we're in the process of casting

our biggest production of the year,

and I've been scouring the country trying to find the key

that will make this picture a tremendous hit.

And tonight, I think I found what I've been searching for.

What's that?

Him.

Me? Keith?

I want you in Hollywood next week for a screen test.

Me?

Keith?

Reuben said he'd be here with the script, so where is he?

Maybe he had car trouble. I could call the auto club.

Why don't you call missing persons?

Very funny.

Keith, Reuben just called 10 minutes ago.

[Sighs]

Okay, so I just happen to be a little nervous

about seeing the script. That's all.

The captain of the Titanic wasn't this nervous.

Honey, why don't you come in here and help me with the sandwiches?

It'll take your mind off that screen test.

Keith, you're really nervous about this thing, aren't you?

No.

Terrified. Mom, you think I'll get over the nervousness?

I mean, when I get out in front of the cameras,

do you think I'll forget about it?

[Sighs] I doubt it.

Oh.

It's only natural, honey.

You've never done anything like this before.

It should be a very exciting experience for you.

That's what the guys said the first time I took out bunny Hoffman.

Keith, the screen test is a very big step.

And if you don't want to do it, please don't.

No, no, I want to do it.

Well, then try and relax and enjoy it.

[Sighs] You're right.

Uh, here it is.

Mom, it's here. Let's see it, Reuben.

Ah, just a minute.

Before I give you the script, I feel it's my duty,

as your manager, to say a few words.

[All grumbling]

Please, I have been your manager now for three years.

We've worked hard together.

We have met defeats and victories together.

Sounds like a little league coach.

Can I see the script?

In a minute.

And because we have been together these three years,

I feel it's my duty to tell you, Keith,

that a screen test does not a superstar make.

In other words, don't get your hopes up too high.

Not in other words, those are the words.

Okay, fine, I promise. Now can I see the script?

Here it is.

Hitchhike from death.

Hitchhike from death?

That explains it. They want you for your thumb.

Here's the cast of characters. Which one am I?

You're vito gambini.

"Vito gambini. Young man with a pretty face and an evil heart."

Perfect casting.

I'm in practically every scene.

This is a very big part, Reuben.

Ah, don't worry. You've got five days

and one of the best acting coaches in the business.

I'm afraid to ask who that coach might be.

You?

Yeah, well, I took several drama courses in college.

As a matter of fact, I played the lead in one of their major productions.

What play?

Rumpelstiltskin.

Okay, I made some copies of the test scene.

Keith, you stand right over here.

Shirley, you play the part of mama gambini. Stand next to Keith.

And, Laurie, you play the part of Keith's sister, Rosa.

And, Danny, you play the part of the hood, who has just told vito

that his friend Frankie's been rubbed out. Any questions?

Sounds pretty simple.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, begin with vito at the top of the scene.

And action!

Mama... cut!

What? ah, it's all wrong!

What do you mean, "it's all wrong"?

It says right here in the script, "mama."

No, no, it's not the word, it's your attitude.

Keith, this is a terrible conflict. You're in pain, agony.

You want to go out and get revenge,

but you know it'll break your mama's heart.

So, when you say, "mama," show me pain.

You got to be kidding. I got to be kidding.

Reuben, don't you think we ought to run through it just once?

Shirley, trust me.

That's asking too much.

[Sighs]

Okay.

Now, Keith,

I'm going to try what we in the theater refer to as recall.

Try to think of a time in your life when you were emotionally upset.

Huh?

I can't think of anything.

He's having a very happy childhood.

What about the time that Janet Henderson stood you up for buzz clancey?

I think it's working.

Great! All right, now we'll start from the top again,

and this time, think about...

Buzz.buzz.

Okay, action.

Mama! I got to get that guy who shot Frankie.

"But, vito, you know that once you're in the mob, you'll never get out."

Don't go, vito.

Mama, give me one good reason why I shouldn't get him.

Because he's got a bigger, bigger gun.

Wait a minute! Hold! Hold!

Where's that line in the script?

It's not in the script.

I was improvising.

You were improvising?

If I improvised what I'm thinking,

I'd get arrested for child beating.

Danny, Reuben is really trying.

Thank you, Shirley.

And I think we all should try and cooperate.

Even if he is making a few mistakes.

Mistakes?

Shirley, if you think I'm making mistakes, you should correct me.

I can take criticism.

Well, it's just that I think Keith shouldn't put

such importance on every line,

then the really intense moments will stand out.

Makes sense.

[Sighs] Yes, mom has a point.

Why don't we let mom direct?

Danny!

Shirley, it's all right.

Here. but, Reuben...

I don't mind. I'm man enough

to stand aside when I'm not wanted.

You're going to read the part of mama?

Sure. I can do it.

In rumpelstiltskin, I played the Princess.

Danny, did you pack your toothbrush?

We'll only be gone two days. Danny!

I have it, mom.

Wait just a moment.

What's this? Donald the dolphin.

We couldn't carry our suitcases and Donald, so we brought Donald.

Go right back and get the suitcases.

Donald can look at the snapshots when we get home.

Mom, have you seen the script? I can't find it.

Keith!

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Stop worrying.

Shirley?

Hi, Mrs. Kornegge.

Hi. Oh, Keith, the whole neighborhood is so proud of you.

Going off to Hollywood to be a big movie star.

It's only a screen test, Mrs. Kornegge.

I mean, I may not even get the part.

With that face, how could they refuse?

Well, thanks.

Look, I better help Danny load the bus. See you.

Goodbye. Don't worry!

You're going to have a wonderful time.

Shirley, never let him out of your sight.

What? Believe me.

That evil town does terrible things to people.

I know, I read the carpetbaggers.

Keith partridge.

What about him?

I'm him.

So what?

You don't understand. My son has a screen test.

Right. Oh, really?

Any trouble, Otis?

This here's Ken partridge.

Keith.

Claims he's here for a screen test.

Oh, yeah. We got a clearance this morning.

Otis: Okay, go on in.

Follow the green arrows till you come to the red arrows.

Follow the signs to soundstage 2. They're shooting on 14.

Thanks.

Trying to make actors out of bus drivers again.

He's been in there almost two hours. Wonder why it's taking so long.

It's an important test. I guess they want him to look exactly

as he would in the movie.

Keith: Well?

I can't believe it.

Come on, how do I look?

Great, if you're doing gidget joins the mob.

What happened to your hair?

It's a wig, and I got to tell you, I feel really ridiculous.

You look so different.

Well, you look...

Authentic, really authentic.

Just the way a baby-faced gangster should.

I think he's cute.

Mmm. Mom, the mustache.Oh.

We're ready for you, Mr. Partridge.

Well, I guess this is it.

Hey, you'll do great.

Good luck, honey.

Thanks, mom. Good luck.

[Bell ringing]

Man: Okay, everybody, this is the test for Keith partridge. Places.

You know, even if he doesn't get the part, I've learned something.

What's that?

My brother has ears.

Nothing. You'd think I'd have heard something by now.

We just got home yesterday. They haven't even had time to develop the film yet.

Keith, you're going to have to relax. This may take a while.

You're right, mom. I'm going to have to just try to forget about it.

Why don't you go upstairs and practice autographs?

Why don't you...

Morning, everybody.

Well?

Is there a killer in the house?

Are you saying I got the part?

You got it.

Oh, Reuben! Oh, honey, that's wonderful!

I can't believe it.

I never knew Keith had so many clothes.

He'll need all of them. He's going to be in Hollywood quite a while.

Don't forget to pack his sunglasses.

What's a star without his sunglasses?

Okay, let's go over the details for the surprise party tonight.

I invited all of his closest friends.

Okay, and what about the cake?

I took care of that, too.

How come you're the one with the list, and mom's doing all the work?

Somebody has to be the organizer.

Mom?

I can't believe it. Do you realize people are actually

stopping me on the street for my autograph?

Face it, Keith.

You're the biggest thing that's happened in this town

since they dedicated the new gas station.

I ran into Tony at the laundromat,

and he asked me what Raquel Welch was really like.

Wish I knew.

[Phone ringing]

I'll get it.

Hello?

Hi, Reuben.

Right now?

All right. The taco stand? Yeah, okay, bye.

Girl: There's Keith.

Hey, Keith, what's it like to be a movie star?

Well, I haven't even made a movie yet.

When do you leave for Hollywood?

Tomorrow.

If you ever need a leading lady, I'm available.

Thanks, kitty.

Keith, can I have your autograph? It's for my mother.

Sure, Cindy. What's your mother's name?

Cindy. I mean, I'm Cindy Jr.

Thank you. Sure.

Reuben?

Oh, hi, Keith.

Hi.

Well, what is it?

Can I buy you a taco?

No, no thanks.

How about a malt?

Reuben, what is it? Something's bothering you.

What makes you say that?

With your stomach, you wouldn't be eating a taco

unless you're trying to take your mind off something. Now what is it?

[Sighs] It's about the movie.

What about it?

[Sighs]

Keith, you lost the part.

You did a good test. It wasn't that.

They just decided not to go with an unknown.

Oh.

It happens all the time.

I wanted to tell you alone. I thought it might be better.

Reuben? Do me a favor, will you?

Don't tell mom and the others. I want to do it.

Yeah, well, I thought maybe you might.

I'll be gone for the next day or so.

I'll see you when I get back.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Keith...

I'm sorry.

So am I.

Thanks a lot, Keith. Have a good trip.

Kitty: Hey, Keith, don't forget what I said, you know,

about the leading lady stuff, huh?

Boy: The big star! Girl: Boy, Hollywood's going to be neat.

Keith, I know you're worried about tomorrow.

Do you want to talk about it?

No, I'm fine.

You know, if you changed your mind, you don't have to do it.

No, it's nothing like that, mom.

Honey, I'm sure they wouldn't have chosen you

unless they had confidence in your ability.

They must have seen dozens... mom.

There's something I've been wanting to say for hours,

but I haven't had the guts to say it.

What is it?

I lost the part.

All: Surprise!

All: ♪ for he's a jolly good fellow

♪ for he's a jolly good fellow

♪ for he's a jolly good fellow

♪ which nobody can deny

♪ which nobody can deny which nobody can deny

♪ for he's a jolly good fellow

♪ for he's a jolly good fellow

♪ for he's a jolly good fellow

♪ which nobody can deny

[all cheering]

Speech! Speech! Speech!

Well, I suppose I do have a speech to make.

Boy, do I have a speech to make.

Hey, it's too bad you lost the part, but it was a great party, anyway.

Kitty: Goodbye, Keith. Thanks, Mrs. Partridge.

Good night. We'll see you.

Your autograph still means a lot to... my mother.

Good night. Good night.

Believe me, Keith, it's the best thing

that could have ever happened to you.

Hollywood would have made a plastic man out of him.

Enjoy your youth.

Good night, Mrs. Kornegge.

Well, was telling them as hard as you thought it would be?

No. It was harder.

But I think this whole thing taught me a lesson.

What's that?

I don't know yet, but there must be a lesson

in there somewhere from all this suffering.

Keith, we have a presentation to make.

We figure that if you had done the film,

you would have been nominated for an Oscar.

So we decided you deserve that moment.

Chris, the envelope, please.

The winner of the partridge award for the best performance

by an actor in an extremely embarrassing situation,

Keith partridge.

♪ In the eyes of the world

partridge family: ♪ in the eyes of the world

♪ I'm a loser just wasting my time

♪ I can't make a dime

♪ can't make a dime

♪ in the eyes of the world

♪ in the eyes of the world

♪ being born was my first big mistake

♪ ooh

♪ I can't get a break

♪ but in the eyes of my woman, I stand like a hero

♪ a giant, a man who's as tall as can be

♪ any fool can see

♪ that she's looking through the eyes of love

♪ looking through the eyes of love

♪ she's looking through the eyes of love

♪ looking through the eyes of love

♪ she's looking through the eyes of love

♪ when she looks at me

♪ looking through the eyes of love

♪ she's looking through the eyes of love

[all humming]

♪ She's making me believe someday

♪ making me believe someday

♪ someday I'm going to find a way

♪ someday I'm going to find a way

♪ to be the man that she can see when she looks at me

♪ looking through the eyes of love

♪ through the eyes of love

♪ looking through the eyes of love

♪ looking through the eyes of love

♪ looking through the eyes of love

♪ looking through the eyes of love ♪

[Audience applauding]

Okay, I figure the weekend of the 27th

would be good for the San Francisco date.

No.

Why not?

Tracy's birthday. We're all going to the zoo.

Okay, how about the 20th?

We're all going on a camping trip.

How about the 13th?

Family picnic.

Been planning it for weeks. Sorry, Reuben.

I would get a singing family that's well-adjusted.

Why couldn't you have a nice, normal identity crisis like everybody else?

Hi, mom, Reuben. Hi, honey.

Hi. Hi, Keith, Laurie.

I got to tell you, it is great to have things back to normal. Excuse me.

Do you know I only signed one autograph today?

Hi, mom. Hi, Reuben.

Keith, I'm glad you're here.

You are? That's a switch.

I've been thinking. Just 'cause you lost out on the movie,

that's no reason to let all that popularity go to waste.

Mmm-hmm.

I have a feeling Danny has a moneymaking scheme.

You know Danny has a moneymaking scheme.

Ta-da!

What do you think? Brilliant, huh?

Mom, do you mind if I take Danny outside for a little business beating?

Just be home in time for dinner.

Thank you.