Original subtitles

♪ Hello, world, hear the song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we had a dream we'd go travelin' together

♪ and spread a little lovin' then we'd keep movin' on

♪ somethin' always happens whenever we're together

♪ we get a happy feelin' when we're singin' a song

♪ travelin' along there's a song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy

All: ♪ I can't sleep at night

♪ I ain't been eatin' right

♪ just seeing you and me together

♪ together

Keith: ♪ well, I been skipping down the cobblestones

♪ talking to myself alone

♪ sleeping by the telephone

♪ and I like it

♪ and I like it

♪ ever since we talked that night

♪ flyin' like a summer kite

♪ my mama says I ain't been right

♪ I believe it

♪ I believe it

♪ 'cause it means I'm in love ♪ got myself together if I say so myself

♪ 'cause it means I'm in love with you ♪ love is gonna get me by, by

♪ 'cause it means I'm in love ♪ Jack in the beanstalk climbin' all the way

♪ to the beautiful sky

♪ I'm in love with you

Keith: ♪ to the beautiful sky ♪ love, I'm in love with you

Keith: ♪ to the beautiful sky ♪ love, I'm in love with you

♪ I can't sleep at night

♪ I ain't been eatin' right

♪ just seeing you and me together

♪ together

♪ together

♪ 'cause it means I'm in love ♪ got myself together if I say so myself

♪ 'cause it means I'm in love with you ♪ love is gonna get me by, by

♪ 'cause it means I'm in love ♪ Jack in the beanstalk climbin' all the way

♪ to the beautiful sky

♪ I'm in love with you

♪ 'cause it means I'm in love, ♪ I'm in love

♪ 'cause it means I'm in love with you ♪

(cheering)

(Groans)

Well, after two weeks on the road,

it will be nice to get home again.

Yeah. Going back to school will be like taking a vacation.

You're sick.

Well, I have a little surprise for all of you.

We're not going straight home. We're not?

We're gonna leave the snow

and spend a couple of days in a very secluded, rustic cabin.

Laurie: Oh, fantastic. All right.

Thanks to Reuben. No, don't thank me.

Okay, we won't.

Why not thank me?

It was my idea.

I borrowed the cabin from a friend.

Oh, Reuben. Thank you.

I really mean that.

Yeah.

Yeah. Me, too. From the bottom of my heart.

Thank you so much.

They speak for me, too.

Your generosity and thoughtfulness has deeply touched me.

Me, too.

I may cry.

Even when I get respect, I get no respect.

Danny: Wow. What a great place.

Look at all those trees and mountains.

Chris: It's neat.

Keith: Two days here will be out of sight.

Laurie: You weren't kidding when you said this place was secluded.

There isn't a house for miles.

Oh, Reuben, it's just beautiful. Thank you.

That's okay, Shirley.

Look, I'm gonna let you in.

And then, Keith, would you mind driving me back up to lake Tahoe?

You're not staying?

No. I only came along to show you how to get here.

You think I'm gonna be confined with five kids

when I can be confined with a whole town full of red lips?

Oh, no.

Inside, everybody.

(Thunder rumbling)

Well, there goes all our fun.

Ah, it'll be over in a minute.

Meanwhile, you got this great cabin to entertain yourselves in.

Keith, would you run me back to Tahoe now?

Drive that mountain road in this downpour?

You got to be kidding.

Reuben, Keith's right. It's too dangerous.

You better wait till the rain lets up.

Oh, it's only a little downpour.

Mr. Kincaid's right, mom. It's only a light rain.

Yeah. If you and Laurie gather the animals,

Keith and I'll build the ark.

(Thunder rumbling)

Four hours.

Four hours of pouring rain.

What joker said it would be over in a minute?

That was you.

Well, I never thought you'd turn on me, Laurie.

I wanna go out and play.

Honey, you can't go out until the rain stops.

But it's really boring. There's no TV or anything.

He's right, you know. A caveman would consider this place a slum.

When we first got here, you said the place was quaint.

Well, that was when you were staying here

and I was going back to lake Tahoe.

Danny: I'm hungry.

Yeah, I could go for something to eat, too.

Well, I brought plenty of food.

Enough for the whole weekend.

Keith, would you go out and get it please.

It's out in the bus. I'll get soaked.

Be sure to wear your raincoat.

It's out in the bus.

Be sure to wear it on the way back.

(Thunder rumbling)

(Banging on door)

I barely heard you over the thunder.

I would have kicked louder but my toes are soggy.

That's not all that's soggy.

The bus is now two feet shorter.

It shrunk?

It sunk. Right up to its axles in mud.

It'll take a tow-truck to get us out of there.

No problem. We'll call a garage in town.

Where are we gonna call from?

Well, the nearest phone is...

In town.

Neat. We're stuck here forever.

Honey, we're not stuck.

Look, I agree this isn't the vacation we'd hoped for,

but why don't we look on it as an adventure?

Look, there must be another cabin with a phone.

When the rain stops I'll go look.

Sure. There's nothing to worry about.

Reuben, I'll fix us some food if you light the stove.

You're on.

Where's the knobs?

What knobs? The knobs to turn on the stove.

There aren't any knobs.

No knobs.

It's a wood burning-stove. There's a wood bin in the corner.

I'll help you, Reuben.

Get that one. I wanna dry off.

Isn't that too big to start a fire?

Haven't you ever heard of a forest fire?

Reuben: Oh, there's no such thing.

Forests are much too big to burn.

Right. Smokey bear is just paranoid.

Okay, I'll light the end of the log and you stuff it in the stove.

Okay.

It's not burning.

I think you're supposed to start out with shavings and...

Laurie, I know how to start a fire.

When I was in Korea, I started hundreds of campfires.

Reuben, how did you start those campfires in Korea?

Well, I...

I don't suppose anybody has a flamethrower?

Mom, that was a great dinner.

Don't thank me. Thank Laurie.

Well, you cooked the dinner.

She started the fire.

One lucky break and she gets all the glory.

You know, eating all that food

gave me enough energy to realize something,

I'm bored.

You're bored?

You haven't spent six hours in a room with five...

Kids.

Look, the reason you're bored is because you're not doing anything.

Mom's right.

Just because we're confined, doesn't mean we can't entertain ourselves.

Hey, I know a game called finish the story.

Somebody starts out a phrase like "Once upon a time, "

and then somebody else throws in a phrase until you have a story.

Oh, that sounds thrilling.

I'll bet Hugh Hefner plays that game all the time.

Come on, Reuben, it's better than complaining.

Okay, okay. Once upon a time...

There was a very happy family.

With a manager that was a grouch.

They went on a weekend trip.

And they all got stuck in the rain.

Everyone had a rotten time.

And the little kids cried.

Okay, that's enough of that game. Let's try something else.

And they tried something else, and they were still bored,

and it was all their manager's fault.

You know, what would be fun?

A scientific experiment, like making a rain Gauge.

So, Danny, why don't you go outside,

open your mouth,

and stay there till you fill up?

This is silly.

What did people do for entertainment before TV?

They talked.

Whatever happened to the art of conversation?

Who knows? Nobody ever talks about it.

I think talking is a good idea.

It'll give us all a chance to interrelate.

What do you propose we talk about?

Anything.

Anything?

Sure, anything that comes into your mind.

Let's talk about free love.

Next subject.

The conversation just started to get interesting.

Uh, let's talk about world affairs.

Too depressing.

Yeah, that sums up world affairs.

You want to know the words I misspelled on my spelling test?

No.

Neither do I.

Wonderful. Now, we've discussed sex, politics, and education.

Well, now that we've covered everything,

why don't we all sit quietly,

and think about what we've learned?

(Thunder rumbling)

Look, it is getting dark. Maybe we all better go to bed.

These lamps don't give off much light.

At 7:30?

It's either that or sit around and make shadow pictures.

There are two bedrooms.

You know, it's strange.

If your friend lives by only bare necessities,

why does he have two bedrooms?

He's married.

I'll take the bedroom on the right. Good night, all.

Wait a minute, you don't expect the rest of us

to sleep in one bedroom, do you?

Do you really think that's fair?

Why not? I'm taking my bedroom sight unseen.

Reuben, the boys will sleep in one room

and the girls in the other.

Now wait a minute. There's probably only one bed in there.

That's something you're gonna have to figure out for yourselves.

Oh, well...

Good night.

Yeah, good night. Good night.

Dibbies on the bed.

Wait a minute!

It's not fair. I yelled dibbies on the bed.

True. But then I pointed out that I am bigger than you are.

It still doesn't make it right.

If you are big enough to get away with it, it's right.

That's international law.

It's not fair. I yelled dibbies on the bed.

Tracy has a point, mom.

Seems to me that we should all get a chance to vote.

After all, this is a democracy.

Well, I certainly wouldn't want to be undemocratic.

So I vote for the bed,

since you two are too young to vote, I win.

(Guitar playing) Captain thunder sure is neat.

He just punched snakeman in the face mask.

Chris, don't give us a blow-by-blow description.

Just because you're interested does not mean the rest of us wanna hear it.

I'm glad you brought that up, Keith.

Has it occurred to you that the rest of us don't wanna hear you play the guitar?

(Knuckles cracking)

I am not thrilled about captain thunder.

I'm not crazy about guitars.

But if you fire one more round of knuckles over my head,

I'm gonna stuff you up the chimney.

Relax, Reuben. It's just that

it's too early for him to go to sleep,

and we're all on edge.

Besides, you know you're not sleepy.

Okay, I'm sorry.

It's just that we're stuck here

with no contact with the outside world.

The rain will let up soon and you can leave.

Does anybody mind if turn on my radio?

As long as you don't do it with your knuckles.

But who knows how long it's gonna last...

You have a transistor radio?

We can get a weather forecast.

(Radio channels skipping) I think there's a news station around 84.

84.

Man on radio: Ironically, only a short distance away,

southern California is enduring its second year of drought.

The temperatures range between a low of 80...

(Shushes) Did I hear a radio?

But the near-record rainfall that is besieging southern Nevada

is now expected to last at least four or five more days.

Highway patrol has issued...

(Radio turns off) I don't wanna hear any more.

I have a date with Lola tomorrow night, but I suppose nobody cares.

Reuben, do you realize we may be stuck here four or five days?

Mom only brought enough food for two.

But there's no place to get food for 40 miles.

Well, that means...

Well, that means that the next time you see Lola,

she'll notice how trim you look.

Look, there's really nothing for any of us to worry about.

I mean, we know we're gonna get out of here.

Don't we?

(Knuckles crack)

I don't believe it.

I'm stuck with five kids, no food,

and herb Alpert and his Tijuana knuckles.

Did you Jack up the bus?

We jacked down the Jack.

It sunk in the mud.

Wasn't a total failure, though.

Two feet down, we struck water.

Well, now what do we do?

Like I said, we should come up with a survival plan.

All right, Danny, that's enough.

Now, first thing we have to do is to come up with a...

Survival plan.

I've got a plan. Let's panic.

All right. Before we get excited,

I think we ought to analyze the pros and cons of this situation,

and then make a clear, rational decision.

All right. First, the pros.

Okay. Let's move on to the cons.

All right.

We're stuck in the mud and can't get out.

We're totally isolated and there's no other cabins around here for miles.

Nobody's coming up that mountain road in this rain.

Town's 40 miles away.

No phone. No food. No Lola.

The more we talk, the more I like your original plan.

To Jack up the bus? No, to panic.

All right, since we don't know how long we're gonna be here,

we'd better ration out the food.

He took my biscuit.

Our biscuit.

International law strikes again.

Well, Chris and Tracy have to eat,

so I'll volunteer some of my food.

Yeah, I will, too.

I will, too.

I was gonna give them some of my biscuit,

but I don't have it anymore.

How important are they to the act?

You know...

There is one thing that you have all overlooked.

Besides food,

what is the one necessary element to support life?

Oxygen.

Besides that. Lola.

Besides that.

Keith.

Besides that. Water.

Besides rationing our food, we've got to ration our water.

(Thunder rumbling)

(Rain pattering)

Okay. Let's ration the water. Your ration is lake erie.

Okay, so I said a dumb thing.

But as dumb as it was, nobody came up with anything better.

Look, the problem is simple. We're isolated.

The world is out there and we're in here.

Yeah. A simple communication gap

of 40 desolate miles.

(Rain stops)

Wait.

Do you hear anything?

No.

Neither do I.

Keith, I think your mother's getting hysterical.

Now she's not hearing things.

What I don't hear is rain.

Hey, it stopped.

Hey, it has stopped.

But not for long, though. Look at those clouds.

(Plane engine humming) Listen.

A plane. Maybe they're looking for us.

Nobody knows we're here.

Then we better figure out a way to signal them.

We can put some rocks on the ground and spell out "Help."

right. And in case they don't see that,

I'll light a fire in the stove and send up distress signals.

Morse code's one thing I did learn in Korea.

How did Laurie start that fire, anyway?

I don't know.

I was too busy sulking.

(Thunder rumbling)

(Rain pattering)

Guess what? It's pouring again.

How'd you make out with the fire?

Oh, fine.

Unfortunately, the rain came down the pipe, put it out.

The rain didn't put it out before.

Oh, how'd you do with the help signal?

Not too well.

We couldn't find enough rocks.

All we managed to spell out was "He."

oh, great. We may be saved,

providing some tourist mistakes this place for a men's room.

I smell smoke.

Why is that smoke backing up?

We turned off the vent so we could make smoke signals.

Oh, there. It'll clear out in a minute.

We started a fire. How did we do it?

Darned if I know.

Keith, would you mind telling us what's going on?

This is our last chance to be rescued.

Would you mind sharing our last chance with us?

I'm setting up the equipment just like at a concert.

I'm gonna turn up the amplifier full blast,

and we'll all yell, "Help" Into the microphone.

Hey, you know, it might work.

In these canyons, the sound could carry for miles.

There's only one problem.

We have to have electricity to run the equipment.

We're gonna hook it up to the bus generator,

and if we're lucky it just might work.

Okay, here goes.

Okay, Reuben. Turn it on.

(Bus engine starting)

The engine is running. I have the two wires.

Now, I'm going to attach the bare wires to the generator, and...

(Reuben screams)

Reuben? Reuben, are you all right?

Boy, you've done it again, Mr. Kincaid.

You've just ruined operation big mouth.

Seems to me operation big mouth is doing just fine.

(Knocking at door)

Oh, who could that be at a time like this?

Don't answer it.

Hi. The name's e.J. Whacker, forest ranger.

Just wondered if I could be of any service.

Oh, can you ever. How did you find us?

Well, I patrol these back roads during storms

just in case campers or folks like yourselves get stranded, and I saw the light.

That was probably Mr. Kincaid.

Well, you happened along just in time, Mr. Whacker.

We are stranded and we're so glad to see you.

We conquered the elements.

We're free. Free at last.

Well, I'm glad you're free because now you can help me.

When I pulled in, I got my car stuck in the mud,

and I need a push.

You need a push?

We'll all push.

Well?

Who, me? I'm too small to push anybody around. International law.

If you had a neck, I'd wring it.

(Sighs)

I need more room.

You're taking up the whole couch now.

If you don't give me more room I'll take off my shoes.

It's all yours.

Well, things are certainly back to normal.

Yeah.

Well, I'm sorry it's all over.

What?

I know it hasn't been much of a vacation,

but it was an adventure.

We faced death and spit in his eye.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a great feeling to know how to survive.

Remember how we hooked the amplifier up to the bus?

Oh, that was an ingenious plan.

You were electrocuted.

I survived. It was man against nature.

What about woman against nature?

You did your part.

The cooking, the cleaning, and all that stuff.

But let's face it. You never would've made it without us.

Oh, brother.

You guys should get a merit badge for egos.

Nothing personal, it's just a fact that men are stronger than women.

Well, in that case, you can unload the bus.

It's much too heavy for us frail women.

Well, it's okay to be the strong, silent type,

but I am going to have to learn to keep quiet about it.