Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

♪ Come on now and meet everybody ♪

♪ and hear us singing ♪

♪ there's nothing better than being together ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ the five of us ♪

♪ and mom working all day ♪

♪ we knew we could help her if our music would pay ♪

♪ Danny got Reuben to sell our song ♪

♪ and it really came together when mom sang along ♪

♪ come on now and meet everybody ♪

♪ and hear us singing ♪

♪ there's nothing better than being together ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪♪

This sounds great.

The hotel we're playing is in a forest.

"Truly part of the Canadian wilderness,

this land abounds in otter, beaver, deer, and moose."

Shirley, do you have the birth certificates?

Oh, Reuben, I'm sorry, I forgot.

All right.

Mr. Burnes from the booking agency

will be here to pick up the birth certificates.

Would you mind digging them up for me?

Oh, yeah, where are they?

They're in a box in the attic.

You remember uncle Milton's giant souvenir pillow

from Atlantic city?

The one with the tassels

and the flapper eating lobster on the back?

I think so.

Are the birth certificates are under it?

No, uncle Milton is.

Will you just go get the papers?

Give him a hand.

Okay, I'll help him look.

This old masked man comic book sure is a gas.

It's about world war ii,

so he goes and puts on his cape,

his tights, and his gold-lame boots,

and goes out to join the army.

Really? What happens?

The army won't take him.

Yeah, well, that doesn't work anymore.

I know a guy who tried.

Hey, how about some help?

Hey, you want to see something really funny?

Here's an old photo album I completely forgot about.

Ah!

Is that me with you?

I Don't have any front teeth.

Yeah.

Oh, look, there's mom and dad.

Boy, is that old.

Hah! Look, there's Chris and Tracy's pictures

right after they were born.

Hey, you know what's missing?

Me.

There are no pictures of me.

Well, we wanted to get some pictures of you, Danny,

but every time we tried, the, uh, the camera broke.

Yeah, or maybe I hadn't been adopted yet.

Right. We picked you up later because we needed a bass player.

Hey, great, the birth certificates.

Can I see mine?

I never saw one before.

Sure.

Here's yours, Keith.

Here's mine,

and Tracy's,

and Chris'.

Yours isn't here, Danny.

What do you mean?

If ours is there, his must be.

No. Everyone but Danny's.

Finally the truth comes out.

I'm an adopted bass player.

The tragedy of it all.

Hey, here's our chance to dump him out of the group.

You weren't working out too well, you know.

Your birth certificate must have been mislaid or something.

Mislaid like all the baby pictures?

It's all clear to me now.

I'm not a real partridge.

Laurie: Oh, Danny, come on.

You Don't really think I was adopted, do you?

[British accent] Now, I have already made arrangements

for the concert halls, hotel reservations,

advance publicity, etc., etc., etc.

You're very thorough.

Not to brag,

but with me handling things,

the tour is guaranteed to be a success.

Well, if it is,

I hope you can find it in your heart

to give the family some of the credit.

Mom, we found the birth certificates.

Oh, excuse me, I didn't know we had company.

Oh, kids, this is Mr. Burnes from the booking agency.

Mr. Burnes, this is...

This lovely young lady must be Laurie.

How do you do? My name...

I'd recognize that voice anywhere.

You're Keith, right on?

And you, uh, you must be, um... a neighbor.

Reuben: Yeah, you might say that.

He lives upstairs.

Uh, this is my son, Danny.

You're putting me on.

That's like a red-headed woodpecker

trying to pass as a bald eagle.

I may be the only one with red hair,

but I'm all partridge.

Are you sure you're not putting me on?

Even the earlobes are different,

and earlobes never lie.

His birth certificate will prove it.

Uh, mom, we found everybody's birth certificate

except for Danny's.

Well, I have to have a birth certificate.

I mean, now I know you're not kidding,

but, uh, phew... No one else will.

Why Don't you go to work on these,

and we'll send Danny's certificate on to you

as soon as we locate it.

It's amazing... like finding a radish in a parsley patch.

Mm-hmm.

No offense, kid.

Right on.

Right on.

Well, we'd better start searching.

Keith, you and Danny start looking in the basement.

I'd like to turn in now, mom, if you Don't mind.

It's only five-thirty.

Maybe I just didn't get enough sleep last night or something.

Do you feel all right?

Sure, mom.

I feel fine.

Just fine.

Danny, may I come in?

Sure. Why not?

Hi.

Did I wake you?

No, I was just thinking.

Thought you might be hungry,

so I brought you a meatball sandwich and some cake.

No, thanks, I'm not hungry.

But leave it. I might eat it for breakfast.

Honey, I've been talking to Laurie and Keith.

You can't possibly think you're adopted.

There's nothing wrong with being adopted.

I just wish I had known all along,

so it wouldn't be such a surprise.

Danny, you are not adopted.

You are my son and I love you.

Thanks, mom, I knew you'd say that.

But I'm not just saying it.

It's the truth.

Maybe you're right.

It's all circumstantial evidence...

No baby pictures, no birth certificate,

and then that Mr. Burnes.

And I heard some parents Don't like to tell their kids

they've been adopted,

so they'll feel at home.

Well, that's not the case here.

Believe me, you are definitely a partridge.

I guess it wouldn't be so bad being adopted.

The love is all the same.

Of course it is.

Then I am adopted.

Danny, that's enough.

That is not true.

You are not adopted, and that's final.

You've convinced me.

Good night, mom.

Good night, honey.

We'll discuss it further tomorrow.

And I believe I'm adopted.

Louder, kid!

Speak directly into the gladiolus!

And that's why I came to you.

I need a detective to investigate.

You're not coming in.

I Don't hear a thing.

When I first got into this rotten business,

all you needed was a Blackjack and a camera.

Now you gotta be an electronic engineer.

I just want to know the truth about my origins.

Why, kid?

You think you might be the rightful king of France?

Look, kid, if your mother says you're her son,

why won't you listen?

Would your mother lie?

But what if I just wanted to make sure?

Where would I go?

Hospital records, kid.

Dates, place, parents.

It's all down in black and white.

[Doorbell rings]

Mrs. Partridge?

Yes?

I'm Harry klein, master detective.

Is Danny partridge your son?

Why, yes, he is.

I think you should tell him that.

I'd like to help you, kid,

but I just can't give out this information

to just anybody.

But my grandmother does need an operation.

All I have is 47 cents.

Well, you may not save her life,

but a cheap bottle of wine will make her happy tonight.

Now, let's see.

L, m, n, o, p... P-a, p-a, p-a, partridge.

Uh, partridge, Keith.

Partridge, Laurie.

Partridge, Chris.

Partridge, Tracy.

Hey, which one are you after?

What about partridge, Danny?

Well, there's no such person.

But for a small contribution, I might be able to invent one.

I'm only interested in facts.

Would you check the birth date I gave you?

Okay, but you're just lucky I'm on duty

instead of old lady lippenka.

She'd pinch your head.

Um...

Here it is.

Hmm, it was kind of quiet then.

Only eight babies born.

Seven girls and one boy.

I'm only interested in the boy.

I'm glad.

This isn't a lonely hearts club, you know?

Boy, uh, 6 pounds, 10 ounces, born to a Mrs. M. Young,

1015 south forest Avenue.

Hey, uh, you can write down the address if you want,

but now it's in the middle of the new highway.

Well, thanks.

At least I have a name to work on.

Shirley, i-i've gotta say it.

This homecoming party for Danny

is just plain ridiculous.

I agree,

but Danny is ridiculously serious about being adopted.

We have to fight fire with fire.

Or, in Danny's case, ridiculous with ridiculous.

If I ever think I'm adopted,

can I have the money instead of the party?

We just want to show Danny we love him.

Well, he should know he's a partridge.

I mean, who in their right mind would ever adopt him?

Here he comes!

All: Surprise!

What's this?

It's a surprise party.

Thanks for the nice gesture, but...

Is something wrong?

No.

Well, yes.

Mrs. Partridge, will you tell me about my real parents?

Honey, please Don't torment yourself.

But I know you're trying

to shield me from the cold reality.

I Don't want that.

Tell me the truth.

You are a ding-a-ling.

That is the complete story.

Reuben.

What happened to my real parents?

Were they deported in the war?

Executed as spies?

Confined to a house of detention?

Danny, you couldn't find yourself in the hospital records

because you weren't born there.

You were born 40 miles from here in napa county.

Sure, mom, thanks anyway.

You weren't due for two weeks, so we decided to go on a picnic,

but you interrupted our picnic by making an early appearance.

There, you see?

You haven't changed a bit.

Were there any eyewitnesses?

Look, Danny, I sent for your birth certificate today.

It should be here in less than a week.

Oh, sure, I know what you're trying to do.

"Ah, in a week, he'll forget all about it."

But a partridge never forgets.

Listen, Reuben and mom will straighten him out.

Sure.

Danny may be weird, but he's not dumb.

I think he's weird and dumb.

Wisdom from the mouth of babes.

Okay, so he's weird and he's dumb,

but he can't dispute proof.

What proof?

Well, that's what we'll have to find.

Pictures, a diary, anything.

We'll comb the whole house, okay?

That's a great idea. Come on, let's go.

Come on, Danny.

Tracy, it's just a waste of time.

Yeah, well, you'll change your tune

when you see this picture.

Look.

All I see is a fat man digging clams.

Forget him. Look under the pier.

At the canoe.

Here, use this.

You'll see what we mean.

All I see is a bunch of empty beer cans.

Look in the canoe.

Near the life preservers. See it?

It looks like a basketball.

That's your head.

Don't you even recognize your own head?

That kid has long blond hair.

Yeah, and you had long blond hair

when you were that age.

And a dimple on the chin?

I never had that.

That's not a dimple, it's a fly.

Look, Danny, it's you.

We all studied the picture, and we agreed, it's you.

Thanks, guys, I'll never forget you for this.

Danny, it really is a fly on your chin.

Did you ever see a cleft with legs?

Why do I have to sit here?

I was writing a letter

to the bureau of missing persons.

Because mom says she has proof positive

that you're one of us.

Kids, you all know Mrs. Reinbolt.

All: Hi, Mrs. Reinbolt.

Oh, how nice you remember.

Of course, I've lived next door 15 years,

but it's nice you remember me.

Just for the record, Mrs. Reinbolt,

do you remember Danny being born?

Of course.

Oh, it's as clear as a dewdrop on a Rose petal,

that day you brought him home,

wrapped in his little blue blanket.

Oh, how could I ever forget the happiness

which nature has wrought?

Thank goodness.

You won't believe this, Mrs. Reinbolt,

but Danny has the crazy idea that he was adopted.

Oh, no. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Poor little tyke.

Oh, drive those thoughts right out of your head.

Danny boy, how did you ever get such a silly idea, hmm?

What are we gonna do, mom?

Poor Danny thinks he doesn't know who he is.

Must be an awful thing to live with.

Shirley, you'd better do something about Danny.

What's wrong?

Oh, I Don't know...

The kid does everything backwards.

He just left home to go join an orphanage.

Reuben, you're not making sense.

Well, I ran into Danny way over on maple street,

and I stopped to give him a lift,

and he said, no,

he was going to go out and find his real parents

and get his life together.

You should have gone with him.

What good would it do for both of us to run away?

Besides, I thought I ought to tell you.

Maybe we can catch him. Not a chance.

He could be anywhere by now.

Well, I'm calling the police.

You Don't need to do that.

I know how to find him.

He said something about hospital records,

so if we check with the hospital,

we ought to be able to find out where he's going.

Keith, you stay here in case he comes back.

All right.

Excuse me, sir.

Does Mr. M. Young work here?

Sure, kid. He's over there.

Thank you, and god bless you.

Excuse me, sir.

Are you Mr. M. Young?

That's right. Michael young.

What are you, a census taker?

Daddy!

Ah, careful, kid.

You're bruising my liverwurst.

Of course, I can't give out this information

to just anybody.

Even if my grandmother does need an operation.

But, since it is an emergency, why not?

Besides, grandma appreciates it.

By comparison, the kid was much more generous.

Well, I didn't want to put you in a higher tax bracket.

If you'll just tell us what you told the kid.

Well, he was very interested in a boy born on...

This day, this day here, to a Mrs. M. Young.

He must be looking up

every m. Young in the phone book.

Yeah. Hey, what's going on, anyway?

First the kid, and now you.

The kid's just a little confused.

He's looking for his parents.

Then why didn't he say so?

For a few bucks, you could have used mine.

They're not doing anything.

Thanks.

["Doesn't somebody want to be wanted" playing]

♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ doo doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ I go downtown and roam around ♪

♪ but every street I walk I find another dead end ♪

♪ I'm on my own but I'm so all alone ♪

♪ I need somebody ♪

♪ so I won't have to pretend ♪

♪ I know that someone's just waiting somewhere ♪

♪ I look around for her but she's just not there, oh ♪

♪ doesn't somebody want to be wanted like me ♪

♪ where are you? ♪

♪ Doesn't somebody want to be wanted like me ♪

♪ just like me? ♪

♪ I'm running free but I Don't want to be ♪

♪ I couldn't take another day like yesterday ♪

♪ I'm dead on my feet from walking the street ♪

♪ I need somebody to help me find my way ♪

♪ I've gotta get out of this town ♪

♪ out of this town ♪

♪ before I do ♪

♪ I'll take a last look around, though ♪

♪ doesn't somebody want to be wanted like me? ♪

♪ Where are you? ♪

♪ Doesn't somebody want to be wanted like me ♪

♪ just like me? ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Doo doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ you know... ♪

♪ I'm no different from anybody else ♪

♪ I start each day and end each night ♪

♪ it gets really lonely when you're by yourself ♪

♪ and where is love and who is love? ♪

♪ I gotta know ♪

♪ doesn't somebody want to be wanted like me? ♪

♪ Where are you? ♪

♪ Doesn't somebody want to be wanted like me ♪

♪ just like me? ♪

♪ Doesn't somebody want to be wanted like me? ♪

♪ Where are you? ♪

♪ Doesn't somebody want to be wanted like me ♪

♪ just like me? ♪♪

You think he's gotten to the last m. Young yet?

He hasn't been on the road that long.

When Danny starts moving, he's unstoppable.

I think we'd better make sure.

Hello?

Mr. M. Young?

You Don't know me.

My name is Shirley partridge,

and I'm calling because my 10-year-old son Danny

will be paying you a visit very shortly.

Well, it's all very complicated,

but if my son gets to your house before I do,

would you please ask him to wait?

I'm on my way over,

and I'll explain everything when I get there.

Thank you very much.

Goodbye.

We'll go to Mr. Young's house

and wait for Danny.

I wish he'd get this adoption thing

out of his head.

He'll get over it in time.

He's young.

No, he's not young, he's partridge.

Ah, forget it. I Don't know.

Danny!

Danny!

Hi, Mr. Kincaid, Mrs. Partridge.

Why did you run off like that?

I was so worried.

I'm sorry, but I didn't run away.

After I found my real family,

I was gonna come back to say goodbye.

Won't you take my word for it?

You're my son.

In a few days,

your birth certificate will be here,

and that's absolute proof.

There's nothing more I can say, honey.

Thanks, mom.

You've been wonderful to me.

The whole family's been wonderful to me,

but I've gotta find out who my real parents are.

Do you understand?

I'm much too cynical for all this,

but it's getting to me anyway.

Go ahead.

You have to do what you must.

Thanks, mom.

You'd make a very understanding mother.

Yes?

I bet you're Danny partridge.

Welcome to the Daniel partridge room,

so named because it's occupied by my own dear son

and unadopted child, Daniel partridge.

I know I act like a dummy sometimes,

but this time I outdid myself.

I'm sorry I didn't take your word.

I'll let you in on a little secret

if you promise to keep it to yourself.

What?

We never quite outgrow making mistakes.

Yeah, but two at once.

Well, one was thinking you were adopted.

What was the other?

Well, even if you had adopted me,

I shouldn't have felt so upset.

I mean, all those other kids you could have picked from,

and you picked me.

All that should have made me feel pretty special.

I sure am glad to hear you say that.

Laurie: Hey, mom? Keith: Danny, look at this.

Look at this.

What is it? What's the commotion?

Laurie: You won't believe this.

Look at this. Danny's pictures.

We found a million of them.

Let me see.

Hmm, that's you all over, brother dear.

Hey, I'm naked.

You guys!

Keith: You know which picture I like the best?

The one of you lying on the bearskin rug stark naked.

Danny: That's not me.

And you're not funny.

Laurie: Oh, it was you, all right.

I'd recognize that profile anywhere.

You're not funny either.

Shirley: Kids, leave Danny alone.

We have a long drive to the club,

and I'd like to be sane when we get there.

Reuben: Hey, I can put that picture to good use.

Oh?

Well, it's a little unorthodox,

but the magazine might go for it.

Danny, how would you like to be playmate of the month?

Danny: Mom!

["Heartbeat" playing]

♪ I can feel your heartbeat ♪

♪ and you didn't even say a word ♪

♪ ah ♪

♪ I can feel your heartbeat ♪

♪ but you didn't even say a word ♪

♪ oh, I know, pretty woman that your love can be heard ♪

♪ you can feel my heartbeat too ♪

♪ I can tell you're feeling me ♪

♪ you can feel my heartbeat too ♪

♪ I can see you're feeling me ♪

♪ oh, I know, pretty woman that your love can be heard ♪

♪ oh... ♪

♪ We paint the night ♪

♪ let it shine in the light of our love ♪

♪ this is the night ♪

♪ yeah, this is the night of our love ♪

♪ I'll treat you like a woman love you like a woman ♪

♪ lord, I'll prove it, baby I'm a man of my word ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Love, love ♪

♪ can't you feel your heartbeat? ♪

♪ Love, love I can feel your heartbeat ♪

♪ love, love ♪

♪ can't you feel your heartbeat? ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ we paint the night ♪

♪ let it shine in the light of our love ♪

♪ ah ♪

♪ this is the night ♪

♪ yeah, this is the night of our love ♪

♪ I'll treat you like a woman love you like a woman ♪

♪ lord, I'll prove it, baby I'm a man of my word ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Love, love ♪

♪ can't you feel your heartbeat? ♪

♪ Love, love ♪

♪ I can feel your heartbeat ♪

♪ love, love ♪

♪ can't you feel my heartbeat? ♪

♪ Love, love ♪

♪ I can feel your heartbeat ♪

♪ love, love ♪

♪ can't you feel my heartbeat? ♪

♪ Love, love ♪

♪ I can feel your heartbeat ♪

♪ love, love ♪

♪ can't you feel it? ♪

♪ Love, love ♪

♪ oh, I can feel it ♪

♪ love, love ♪ ♪ getting stronger ♪

♪ love, love ♪

♪ oh, I can feel it ♪

♪ love, love ♪

♪ I can feel it ♪

♪ love, love ♪

♪ it's getting stronger ♪ ♪ love ♪♪

[♪♪♪]