Original subtitles

[Partridge family theme playing]

♪ come on now and meet everybody ♪

♪ and hear us singing ♪

♪ there's nothing better than being together ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ the five of us ♪

♪ and mom working all day ♪

♪ we knew we could help her if our music would pay ♪

♪ Danny got Reuben to sell our song ♪

♪ and it really came together when mom sang along ♪

♪ come on now and meet everybody ♪

♪ and hear us singing ♪

♪ there's nothing better than being together ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪♪

Well, come on, Keith.

You took Linda out Friday night.

Okay, now, what happened?

Nothing happened. It was our first date.

What, nothing happened? I know you better than that.

Look, we went to a movie, that's all.

Of course, we took a little drive

out to muldoon's point afterwards.

You went to muldoon's point

on a first date?

Well, hey, guys, did you hear that?

Big deal.

Big deal?

I suppose you could do better.

Lester braddock could.

Lester who?

Lester braddock, the guy that just transferred here

from Oakland high.

Girls line up for blocks just to say his name.

Well, I haven't met him yet.

I don't know what he's got going,

but it's nothing like what I got going with Linda.

Lester took out Linda the first day he came here.

No movie. Wham! Straight to muldoon's point.

He did?

Oh, well, I could have done that too.

I just wanted to see the movie, that's all.

So did Lester.

Linda insisted they go straight to muldoon's point.

I don't believe it. He can't be that great.

I'm telling you, he's been here only two weeks,

and he's already taken out half the girls in the school.

Where does he find the time?

Where does he find the energy?

I can't believe you're really taking a vacation.

You always change your mind at the last minute.

Not this time.

My plane leaves in an hour,

and I'm gonna be on it.

I hope so, for your sake.

Yeah.

I gotta get away for a while.

Always go, go, go.

The phony glamour, and tinsel, the Wheeler-dealers,

the promoters who are only interested in money...

Well, for the next two weeks,

I'm gonna get away from all that.

Sounds great. Where are you going?

Las Vegas.

Reuben: Hi. How was basketball practice?

Oh, no worse than any other serious disaster.

You'll never guess what happened!

The greatest thing in the whole world,

that's what.

He asked me out for Friday night!

I've gotta get ready.

For a date Friday?

This is only Monday.

It's only four days. I'll never make it in time.

Who asked you out?

Lester braddock.

Reuben: What's wrong with you?

You look like you swallowed a hockey puck.

Uh, kids...

I'd like to speak with mom for a minute.

Why don't you split?

Is this gonna be an x-rated conversation?

Well, it's not for the general public.

Ah, I guess I better go too.

This is obviously a personal family problem.

How'd you know that?

Because I have 45 minutes to catch a plane.

Have a good time, Reuben.

Oh, I will, but I'll be back in time

for your next gig in redwood city.

Come on, kids, walk me to the car.

We might as well go, Tracy.

They're gonna talk about the birds and the bees.

Again?

Come on.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

[Sighs]

Well?

What did you want to talk about?

The birds and the bees.

The last time I tried to explain

the facts of life to you,

you kept correcting me.

It's not for me.

It's Lester braddock's bird

and Laurie's bee.

Who is Lester braddock?

He's a Don Juan with shoulder pads.

Well known for his touchdown pass.

All right, cut out the football analogy.

I feel like I'm talking to Howard cosell.

Okay, I'll spell it out.

He's gained the reputation

of being a dirty old man at a very young age.

Didn't you say

there's a lot of false rumors

going around the school about you?

Yeah, but that's different.

I started those rumors.

Unfortunately, none of the girls fell for it.

Hasn't it occurred to you

that some of those rumors about Lester may not be true?

Not a chance.

Dear Abby writes this guy for advice.

Besides, Laurie's my sister.

And she's my daughter.

Supposing everything you suspect about Lester is true.

Laurie has been brought up in such a way,

she's not gonna jump into anything.

Well, I think you should have a talk with her anyway.

She may not know what she's getting into.

Maybe I will have a talk with her.

In the meantime...

There's one thing you can do

to help the whole situation.

Sure. Anything, anything.

Butt out. What?

Look, I appreciate your concern,

but you're her brother, not her father.

You're not gonna take that lying down, are you?

You were listening.

To the whole uncensored conversation.

You're the oldest male in the family.

It's up to you to protect Laurie.

What are you gonna do?

[Knocking]

Come in.

Hi. What are you doing?

Trying to decide

what I'm gonna wear on the date.

What do you think of this?

Oh, it's very nice.

You know what would look good?

This blue wool middy skirt.

I wore that to aunt reba's funeral.

It's cold at night.

Mom, is there something you wanted to talk to me about?

No, no.

Well...

I knew it.

You've heard the rumors about Lester.

I bet Keith told you.

Then there are rumors.

Yeah, there's the one about his birthday party,

when the entire girls glee club jumped out of his cake.

I take it you don't believe in those rumors.

He's in my study hall, mom.

He's shy and introverted.

It took him two weeks to work up enough nerve

to ask me out.

Laurie...

[Sighs]

Maybe...

Maybe you're just seeing one side of Lester.

I mean, maybe some of those rumors

aren't completely untrue.

Mom, Lester is tall and very good-looking.

Every time he's seen talking to girls,

guys always think the worst.

They imagine what they'd be doing

if they were Lester.

Well...

Now that you've explained it so fully,

I'm sorry I brought it up.

Well, don't be sorry.

Mothers are supposed to worry about dumb things.

It's... it's a sign of love.

Hey, Archie, I'm looking for Lester braddock.

Do you know where he is? Yeah.

Where all the girls are looking.

The guy who looks so content.

We're all out of luck at this school.

My only hope is college.

[Clears throat]

Uh, hi.

Are you Lester braddock?

Well, yes I am.

Well, I'm Keith partridge, Laurie's brother.

Oh, I'm really glad to know you.

Yeah.

Look, I know you're new in school,

so when Laurie said you were going out,

I thought maybe we could all go out together,

sort of show you around.

The three of us?

Oh, no, no, no, no. A double date.

Oh. I'm taking out Marsha.

Marsha? Marsha fenwick.

Oh, gee, that's...

That's really nice of you, Keith,

but I'm afraid that might be kind of embarrassing.

Oh?

You see, I took Marsha out last week.

Now, don't get jealous or anything.

I didn't want to take her out,

but she just kept hounding me.

She did?

Yeah, she just kept...

Well, you being a rock singer, you know how it is.

Oh, sure, sure.

It happens all the time.

Well, I'm glad you understand.

Anyway, I just think it'd be kind of awkward

to double with her.

Well, listen,

nothing's settled yet.

I could always take out Charlotte instead.

Charlotte?

Charlotte linnamen.

Well, I'm afraid that wouldn't work either.

Charlotte too?

Marsha gave her my phone number.

Hey, but thanks for offering to show me around.

Some other time, okay?

Sure.

You don't have to worry, mom.

We'll be home early.

We're just going to a movie.

An x-rated movie?

No, just an animal nature film.

Naked animals?

Danny!

Very nice to have met you, Lester.

Nice meeting you too.

Have a good time.

Bye-bye, mom. See you.

Good night.

How could you let Laurie

go out with him, mom?

It's written all over his face.

What's written all over his face?

Gig-a-lo!

Gig-a-lo?

If that's written all over his face,

he's very poor in spelling.

However it's pronounced, it means rotten.

Do you remember the time

that fan magazine wrote that article about you?

I don't want to talk about it.

It said you were in love with an older woman.

That's right.

She was an old maid of 12, wasn't she?

Lies! All lies.

That's the point. You can't believe in rumors.

I hope that ends the conversation.

Well, what are you gonna do?

What is there to do?

We could follow them.

I'd do it alone,

but I can't go out at night by myself.

Danny, I am not gonna follow them.

Besides, like mom said, you can't believe rumors.

Keith, I've got something to tell you.

What?

You know that rumor about me and the older woman?

Every word of it's true.

But you're only 10!

Exactly.

If I'm this rotten at 10,

how rotten am I gonna be at Lester's age?

Okay, look at it this way.

How rotten are you now?

Mom?

Danny and I are going to a movie.

[Engine starts]

Is something wrong?

No. Uh-uh.

Well, then why do you keep looking in the mirror?

Laurie, I don't want you to think

I'm... I'm crazy or anything,

but I think we're being followed by a bus.

Well, I haven't seen them for about 20 minutes.

I think it was the u-turn that did it.

Buses can't make u-turns.

Lester, I am so embarrassed.

They followed us to the movies, all over town, and...

Hey, come on, Laurie.

It's not that bad.

I expected it.

You did?

Yeah, it happens whenever I take out a girl

with a brother.

It's my reputation.

I wouldn't mind so much

if I'd done something to deserve it.

Well, hey, I can't help the way I look.

It's all right, Lester.

You can't blame yourself.

Are you cold?

Yeah, a little.

Well, I'll put up the top.

Okay.

Oh, no!

What's happening? Let me see.

He's raising the top on his car.

Laurie's trapped in there with him.

This is it.

Danny, wait!

I'm really glad we can just sit and talk.

Most girls are... Well, they're more active.

Yeah, I can understand your feelings.

You must hate being treated as just another pretty face.

[Knocking]

Got a match?

I'm sorry, Laurie. Honest!

You humiliate me by following me all over town!

And then you... You ask for a match!

I couldn't ask for a cigarette.

I don't smoke.

What's all the yelling about?

They just hounded us all over town,

spied on us everywhere,

and... and ruined a perfect date

with the nicest, most sincere guy

I ever met.

They didn't? They did!

You didn't?

Keith told me

we were just going to a movie.

I'm ashamed of you.

Not trusting your own sister any more than that.

And you... you're old enough to know better.

We were wrong all the way.

I know that now, and I'm sorry.

You don't owe me the apology.

You owe it to Laurie.

Well, we tried to apologize to her

last night. And then again this morning.

She won't even talk to us.

That's because she hates us.

It wouldn't hurt you to try apologizing again.

Well, what if she still won't talk to us?

Well, I wouldn't blame her.

I don't know what else to say.

We were wrong and we're sorry.

Still not speaking to us, huh?

Please, Laurie...

Don't hate me too much.

I wouldn't even have been a part of it,

if Keith hadn't filled my head

with all those lies.

What?

Stop it, both of you.

Look, I have just one thing to say,

and I want both of you to listen.

Well, at least Laurie's trying

to bridge the communications gap.

Danny, the only thing she said

was that she's never gonna speak

to either of us again.

Yeah, but she communicated it perfectly.

Well, did you see Lester?

Yeah.

Guess what?

He's not talking to me either.

But we've gotta get him to take Laurie out again,

or else she'll hate us forever.

Did you try appealing to him as a friend?

Yeah.

I guess he figures he doesn't owe me any favors.

Keith, I've stood back

and watched you bungle this thing

from beginning to end,

and you made a mess of everything.

And you made a fool of yourself in the process.

Now it's my turn.

You'll never guess what happened to me

the other night.

There's more distrust in this world

than you can imagine.

So true, so true.

[Yawns]

Did anyone ever tell you you have beautiful eyes?

I'll bet you say that to all the guys.

[Knocking]

Got a match?

This can't be happening.

Hey, I'm sorry your date didn't work out

with Laurie the other night.

What date? Who's Laurie?

Just a friend.

You know, there might be a slight possibility

I could talk Laurie into going out with you

again some time.

What are you doing later on tonight?

Hey, Lester, what a coincidence.

I didn't know you had p.E. Just... two hours before me.

Look, I've had it with

you and your brother's coincidences.

Why don't you just leave me alone?

Okay.

But I just want to say one thing first.

I messed up your date with Laurie,

so don't take it out on her.

She really likes you a lot.

She does?

Mm-hmm.

Laurie's a nice kid.

Yes, she is.

And I did a rotten thing to her, to the both of you.

It'd make her really happy if you'd ask her out again.

I like Laurie, Keith, but I can't take her out again.

Why not?

Well, because of you.

I'm not mad. I'm just kind of hurt, you know?

I mean, how can i...

How can I go over to your house to pick Laurie up,

knowing what you're thinking?

Look, Lester, I listened to a lot of ugly rumors.

And I shouldn't have. I was wrong.

I'd be very happy if you took Laurie out again.

Well, I don't know.

Listen, we're giving a concert tonight at redwood lodge.

What if I got you a ticket for a ringside table?

And afterwards, you and Laurie could go out for a hamburger.

Well, I can't stay mad forever.

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Oh, that's just a figure of speech.

Well, it just so happens I have a ticket right here.

Uh, there's only one condition.

What's that?

You can't bring a date.

Okay.

Laurie? Guess what?

I don't think she's speaking to you yet.

Oh, really?

Gee, that's... that's too bad.

She can't thank me then.

Thank you?

You're welcome.

You're despicable.

I got Lester to take you out

after the concert tonight.

Oh, Keith!

[Singing "I'll meet you halfway"]

♪ will there come a day when you and I can say ♪

♪ we can finally see each other? ♪

♪ Will there come a time we can find the time ♪

♪ to reach out for one another? ♪

♪ We've been travelin' in circles ♪

♪ such a long, long time trying to say hello ♪

♪ hello ♪

♪ if we can just let it ride ♪

♪ but you're someone that I'd like to get to know ♪

♪ I'll meet you halfway ♪

♪ that's better than no way ♪

♪ there must be some way to get it together ♪

♪ and if there's some way ♪

♪ I know that some day ♪

♪ we just might work it out forever ♪

♪ will there come a day ♪

♪ will there come a day ♪

♪ you and I can say ♪

♪ you and I can say ♪

♪ we can finally see each other ♪

♪ will there come a time ♪

♪ will there come a time ♪

♪ we can find the time ♪

♪ we can find the time ♪

♪ to reach out for one another ♪

♪ I'll meet you half way ♪

♪ that's better than no way ♪

♪ I'll meet you half way ♪

♪ that's better than no way ♪

♪ I'll meet you half way ♪

♪ that's better than no way ♪

♪ I'll meet you half way that's better... ♪♪

[light switch clicks]

What are you doing up?

I thought I heard a burglar.

Well, if you thought you heard a burglar,

why didn't you come and get me?

Because, apparently, you were the burglar.

What are you doing up?

Oh...

Uh, well, I'm... I'm so happy

Laurie finally got a date with Lester,

I guess... I guess I was too happy to go to sleep.

It couldn't be that you're still worried

about Lester's reputation, could it?

Mom, you don't think I'm the type to listen

to idle gossip, do you?

Danny: I'd have to answer that with a definite yes.

What are you doing up?

Same thing as both of you,

waiting up for Laurie.

I wish she'd hurry up and get home.

There's no sense in anyone waiting up.

Laurie's in good hands.

That's what I'm afraid of.

Well, I hope nothing's happened.

She said she'd be home an hour ago.

Oh, they probably got a king-sized hamburger.

I told her to order one with onions,

but I bet she didn't listen.

[Knocking]

She must have forgotten her key.

Just be calm.

Everybody, be calm. There is nothing to worry about.

Get the ransom note.

What ransom note?

Reuben, what are you doing here?

What am I...

Well, Danny called a half-hour ago

and said Laurie was...

Danny...

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Back one day from vacation,

and it's starting again.

[Door opens]

Uh, home already?

Where have you been?

Honey, what's wrong?

I'm sorry I'm late, mom, but I had to walk home.

All that poor, shy, misunderstood boy routine...

The minute I turn my head to sneeze,

and he was all over me like...

Like the tar baby was all over brer rabbit.

Oh, no. Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm... I'm fine.

In fact, I'm happy.

He's not gonna throw a touchdown pass

with that arm this year...

On or off the football field.

Laurie, what can I say?

Nothing.

But that's the last time

I'll ever let you fix me up with a date!

Why am I always the heavy?

You're the oldest male in the family.

You should have tried to protect her

from that sort of thing.

Hey, it's nice to have you back, Mr. Kincaid!

Uh-huh. Thanks.

It's really nice to be back with you kids too.

You don't expect us to believe that, do you?

Oh, you see right through me, don't you?

Oh, Reuben, I'm terribly sorry

about that stunt that Danny pulled.

Please, don't remind me.

It took me the whole weekend to block it out of my mind.

You know, if I ever go on another vacation,

I'm gonna hire a chaperon.

Thanks, but I don't think Laurie needs one.

What Laurie?

I'm talking about Danny and Keith.

Those two should be under observation at all times.

Hi.

What's wrong with you?

This has been the most depressing day

of my life. Oh?

[Sighs]

I met the most beautiful girl today at school...

Nice-looking, great personality, and she wants to go out with me.

Hmm...

I should have days that depressing.

Yeah, I can't take her out.

It would be too embarrassing.

Why?

It's Lester braddock's sister!

[♪♪♪]