Original subtitles

[Partridge family theme playing]

♪ Come on now and meet everybody ♪

♪ and hear us singing ♪

♪ there's nothing better than being together ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ the five of us ♪

♪ and mom working all day ♪

♪ we knew we could help her if our music would pay ♪

♪ Danny got Reuben to sell our song ♪

♪ and it really came together when mom sang along ♪

♪ come on now and meet everybody ♪

♪ and hear us singing ♪

♪ there's nothing better than being together ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪♪

[Vacuum whirs]

[Vacuum stops]

[Vacuum whirs]

[Vacuum stops]

[Sighs]

[Vacuum whirring]

[Telephone rings]

[Vacuum stops]

[Vacuum whirring again]

Oh! [Vacuum stops]

Hello?

Uh, Mrs. Partridge?

This is George clauson,

the principal at the high school.

Oh, yes, Mr. Clauson.

Uh, is anything wrong?

Tell me, the partridge family is a musical group, isn't it?

Yes.

Uh, are you, uh...

[Clears throat]

Are you politically committed?

Uh, no.

Well, good, good.

Look, Mr. Clauson, what is this all about?

Would you mind telling me why the partridge family

is scheduled to appear at a rally for pow?

Pow?

Mr. Clauson: P-o-w, pow.

Power of women...

It's a, uh, women's liberation group.

Oh, yes, I think I've heard of them.

Well, uh... some of our more, uh, militant girls

want to form a chapter here at school,

and they're holding a rally in the park next Monday.

And we're supposed to appear?

Yes, so...

So these posters say.

And, uh, in rather large type.

Did you know about this?

Look, Mr. Clauson, i...

I don't mean to seem vague about this,

but obviously someone has committed us,

and as soon as I find out who and why, i...

Mrs. Partridge.

Mrs. Partridge, there...

There are some members of a, of a group here in my office.

Uh, they call themselves the morality watchdogs.

And, uh, they seem rather concerned and...

I was wondering if I might bring them by your home

so that you could explain your position.

Well, I'd be most happy to see them, Mr. Clauson,

as soon as I find out what my position is.

[Sighs]

[♪♪♪]

Did you know we're supposed to sing

at a women's liberation rally next Monday?

For our regular price?

I have a suspicion it's for nothing.

Not on your life. We sing,

we get paid.

Then you didn't commit us?

Are you kidding?

It was probably Laurie, our official radical crackpot.

Mom?

In here, honey.

Ask her point blank.

What makes you so sure it was Laurie?

If it walks like a duck, and it talks like a duck,

it's probably a duck.

Is this all the mail?

Yes.

I was expecting my first issue of liberal outlook.

Talks like a duck.

Have you seen these?

Well, she still walks like a duck.

Danny was so sure you were the one

that committed us.

Are you serious?

At least I'd bring it up for a vote first.

[Can pops open]

Besides, I haven't made up my mind about pow.

I want to see where they stand

on the gut issues first.

Actually, I think they're fragmenting

the revolution.

You suppose somebody just put our names on these posters?

No... I don't think it was just somebody.

I think it was Keith.

You mean my son is a feminist?

No, but his new girlfriend is.

Tina newcomb.

You're a pretty lucky woman, Mrs. Partridge.

Most mothers have to worry

about drugs and violence.

All your ding-a-ling son thinks about are girls.

No mail for me?

What are you looking for?

[Sighs]

Oh, nothing. Just a plain brown envelope.

Keith, can I talk to you for a minute?

I'm in sort of a hurry.

This won't take long.

Why don't you sit down for a minute?

What is this?

Nothing, nothing at all,

but anything you say may be held against you.

Raquel Welch.

That's an old joke.

So I'm not a good comedian.

Maybe you are.

This is pretty funny.

Oh.

Judging by your feeble "oh,"

we know you know something that you're not telling us.

So why don't you clear your conscience

and tell us all about it.

Look, kids, this is a discussion,

not a purge.

Okay, Keith, let's discuss your guilt.

Danny.

If it walks like a duck, and it talks like a duck...

Keith, kidding aside, what do you know about this?

I did sort of promise we'd be there.

Keith, you didn't.

Up till now,

we've always voted on things like this.

Now, I know that one man, one vote

is a radical concept, but...

That's right... So you promised Tina,

but you should have consulted us first.

You made it sound as if we all believe in pow.

But they've got a lot of good ideas.

Maybe, but if we sing for one group,

we'll have to sing for every group that asks us.

For free? Not on your life!

I think you better have a talk with Tina.

In her case, man-to-man talk.

Oop, I'm sorry, I forgot.

Helping you down is a meaningless,

descending ritual.

It's a meaningless, condescending ritual.

Yeah, I'll get it straight.

Tina, I want to talk to you.

I've been trying to talk for the last four hours.

I know, I know, but that was at the drive-in.

Now I really want to talk.

Okay, let's talk.

Listen, you really jumped the gun on that rally.

I did?

All I said was I'd try to persuade the family.

You shouldn't have put our name on those posters

until it was set.

But we had to get the posters out in time for the rally.

I didn't know that then.

I didn't think there'd be any problem.

Does your family have something against sexual equality?

I don't think so. The family's made up of two sexes.

Anyway, the point is, I said I promised we'd appear,

and that's not exactly the truth.

Look, I'm really sorry,

but the important thing is you're gonna be there.

The ends justify the means, huh?

I'm really disappointed in you, Tina.

I thought you had more respect for our relationship than that.

Well, you're not just interested in me

as a girl.

I'll, uh, tell you a secret.

Actually, I'm in love with my guitar,

but I'd look ridiculous taking it to a drive-in.

Good night.

Hi, honey.

Did you have a good time?

Yeah, sure.

Laurie: Keith, we have a booking problem.

Abby Hoffman called and so did Lester Maddox,

and they both want us to play

on the same night. Very funny.

Did you talk to Tina?

Yeah, sort of.

Does she still expect us to sing?

Well, sure, we both do.

Well, what's wrong with that?

Look, all pow wants

is equal rights, equal pay.

Maybe Keith's right.

Really?

You've gotta be kidding.

I'm not crazy about how you got us into this,

but I've checked, and I think it's a good cause.

And it's about time this family got itself

committed to some cause.

Christmas seals.

Danny, if we don't appear,

people are gonna think we're copping out.

I'll cop out. Christmas seals.

What's your vote, mom?

You're gonna vote "no," aren't you?

Danny, I haven't really decided.

I'd like to know more about pow.

Boy, when Mr. Kincaid gets here tomorrow,

he's really gonna blow his stack.

Danny, Reuben wasn't coming here.

Did you call him?

I think I'll stand on the fifth amendment.

Oh... I only hope I can speak to him

before the morality watchdogs get here.

Reuben is so excitable.

The morality watchdogs are coming here?

Tomorrow.

Oh, mom.

We should have a long talk

about the kind of people

you're hanging around with.

Man: Everybody, calm down.

Woman: And it's outrageous!

If we want our daughters liberated,

we'll liberate them! Crowd: Yeah!

Woman #2: What's wrong with being a housewife?

[Chatter continues]

Now, ladies and gentlemen, please,

you're not giving her a chance to talk.

Mrs. Partridge.

First of all, can't we all step inside

and discuss this calmly?

Calmly? Is she trying to be funny?

You can't scare us.

No daughter of mine's gonna dig ditches!

Now, ladies and gentlemen, please!

Are you trying to turn our girls into boys?

It's bad enough that our boys are turning into girls,

with all that long hair nonsense.

It's a plot.

I don't think that's what pow has in mind.

What do they have in mind?

A lot of things.

Woman: And what does that mean?

It means my daughter's gonna compete against me,

digging ditches!

Your daughter doesn't want to dig any ditches, sir!

Hey, cool it, mom.

All they wanna do is to throw out

that phony double standard

and stop women from being treated

like second-class citizens.

I knew it, I knew it. It's her fault. She reads.

Man: I'll tell you what I think.

I think you all better go back

where you came from.

This is where we came from!

Look, we're not trying to convert anybody.

They just asked us to sing at a rally.

Yeah, well, you sing at that rally,

and you'll regret it.

What do you mean?

It'll be the last happy day you spend in this town.

Oh, really?

You know, after meeting all you people,

I've changed my mind.

We're going to appear!

Our farewell performance.

You're the most narrow group of people

I've ever met in my whole life.

You're welcome to come to that rally,

but you better bring your own keyhole to peep through!

Woman: You can't talk to us like that!

Man: Who does she think she is? Woman: What does she mean?

Clauson: All right, ladies and gentlemen,

I think that's enough discussion for today.

We'll continue another time.

[♪♪♪]

What?

My mother, the activist.

We're singing.

Shirley, as your manager, I have to warn you,

if this furor gets into the paper...

We're singing.

You could antagonize half your public.

We're singing.

Haven't these people heard about free speech?

Yeah, free speech is great, until it's someone else talking.

You're sure you know what you're doing?

I know exactly what I'm doing.

I forgot how much coffee I put in here.

Hey, mom, you were really great out there.

I was? Mm-hmm.

We're even thinking of sending you to Washington.

Or Berkeley.

Look, since we're all

putting our lives on the line for Tina,

don't you think it's about time we met her?

Yeah, sure.

Why don't you invite her to dinner tonight?

Okay... if you'd like.

We'll try and make a good impression.

Listen... um...

I think I better warn you about Tina.

She takes the movement very seriously.

And women are discouraged from having careers.

We're supposed to get married, become housewives,

and wait around for the babies to come.

I think it's a little more than just waiting.

Yeah. Well, that's right.

You don't just wait?

Is there something I don't know?

It's that stork part.

Tina: The family unit is decadent.

It's only pleasurable and beneficial

to the husband.

Don't you think you ought to have a husband and family

before you make that statement?

Reuben: Well, let's face it,

everybody has a mother and father.

It's an unwritten law.

Nobody wrote that law, did they?

Uh, what Tina means is...

I can speak for myself.

The family unit dehumanizes a woman.

It makes her nothing more than a drudge

and a child-bearer.

Reuben: Well, there's your basic flaw.

Man has never had a baby.

I never met a man who wanted to have a baby!

Why should women be stuck if men wouldn't do it?

Maybe she's right.

I'm not ready to be a mother.

It's been an enjoyable evening,

even if you do have male hang-ups.

Well, I'm glad I don't have female hang-ups.

Me too. I'm not plucking my eyebrows for anybody.

Would one of you fellows mind?

Why, sure. I don't hold grudges.

Oh, that's okay, Reuben.

Thanks, Keith.

Huh, like the good book says,

"the lord helps those who help themselves."

Good night.

[Door closes]

I never realized that applied to coats.

She certainly doesn't mince her words.

Either did chicken little, and look what came of that.

Well, good night, Tina.

Keith, are you mad at me about something?

Me? Are you kidding?

[Sighs]

Aren't you gonna walk me to the door?

I don't know. I've been thinking.

It's sort of a condescending gesture.

It is?

Well, you never walk me to the door.

I mean, if I'm really committed to the movement,

the most I should do is stop the bus.

Yeah, I guess so.

Hey, don't you want to kiss me good night?

Actually, Tina,

I've been thinking about that too.

Don't you think that's sort of using each other

as objects?

I mean, me using your lips, you using mine.

It is?

Well, those are your words,

except for the "your lips, my lips" part.

Are you sure you're not angry at me?

Why would I be angry?

Good night.

I'll see you at the rally... Won't I?

I promised I'd be there, didn't I?

I'm a man of my word,

if you'll pardon the expression.

Sure.

Well, I'm glad you're being so liberal about it.

Good night, Tina.

Good night, Keith.

[Engine starts]

[People shouting]

Well, there's our fans.

Yes.

Kids, don't sign any autographs.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, hi. We're getting quite a crowd.

Yeah, I know.

We were greeted by a bunch of them

when we came in.

I'm kind of mad at you.

You were pretty rude to me last night.

Really? I didn't mean to be.

I was only treating you as an equal.

Are these the songs you're going to sing?

Yeah. What's wrong with them?

These lyrics, they're so anti-woman.

"I love you"?

It's just something men say to appease women.

I'm sorry, but you can't sing these songs.

What?

Look, this is a women's liberation songbook.

You can just... wait a minute.

Wait a minute, you liked our songs well enough

to put our names on that poster.

I didn't know what you were going to sing last week.

Now, look, Tina, you're working for a cause,

and that's great,

but nobody, nobody censors our material.

Censorship is not the path to equal rights.

Look, this isn't your rally!

You'll sing our songs or else...

Tina, you can't listen to anyone's viewpoint but your own.

You're as bad as those watchdogs.

You can't say that to me! Wrong.

Not only can I say it, but I should've said it sooner.

You can take your songbook and index it. We quit.

Pack up and go.

Mom...

I'm way ahead of you.

Keith, where are you going?

You can't just walk out. Why not?

You didn't want to do this concert

in the first place.

Look, Keith,

first you committed us without asking us,

and now you're walking out without asking us.

Do you think that's fair?

Look, she wanted to censor our material.

Now, that's wrong. Yes, it is.

But pow hasn't censored us.

This is some little game between you and Tina.

Well, I'm sorry I got everybody into this.

So am I, but the family must act together.

The rest of us can't allow

one small group to scare us out of our right to free speech

or free singing, whichever the case may be.

But I can't go on,

not after what just happened with Tina.

Honey, I understand how you feel...

But don't you see, we feel we must go on.

How about it?

[Sighs] I don't know.

And we will not falter until we achieve our goals.

Equality in the home,

on the job, and in the government.

Thank you.

I do have one announcement.

Due to technical difficulties beyond our control,

the partridge family will not appear today.

[Murmuring from crowd]

However, miss bancock, the girls' phys ed coach,

has agreed to step in and tell us about her crusade

to get women into professional hockey.

[Crowd applauds]

What are you doing here?

I said we'd play, didn't I?

Well, you also said you quit.

Well, you can't believe everything I say, can you?

You're gonna sing our songs?

No, we're gonna sing what everybody came to hear.

You wouldn't dare!

You just can't walk out here and assert your manhood...

I'm not asserting anything.

Some people came here today to hear us play,

and we're not gonna disappoint them.

So are you gonna introduce us?

No! Who do you think you are? You just can't wa...

One, two...

I think it would be nice if you introduced us.

One, two, three, four...

[performing "I think I love you"]

♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ♪

Ladies and gentlemen, the partridge family.

♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ♪

♪ I'm sleeping ♪

♪ and right in the middle of a good dream ♪

♪ like all at once I wake up ♪

♪ from something that keeps knocking at my brain ♪

♪ before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head ♪

♪ and spring up in my bed ♪

♪ screaming out the words I dread ♪

♪ I think I love you ♪

♪ I think I love you ♪

♪ this morning I woke up with this feeling ♪

♪ I didn't know how to deal with ♪

♪ and so I just decided to myself ♪

♪ I'd hide it to myself ♪

♪ and never talk about it and didn't I go and shout it ♪

♪ when you walked into the room ♪

♪ I think I love you ♪

♪ I think I love you ♪

♪ I think I love you so, what am I so afraid of ♪

♪ I'm afraid that I'm not sure of ♪

♪ a love there is no cure for ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ I think I love you ♪

♪ isn't that what life is made of? ♪

♪ Though it worries me to say that I've never felt this way ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hey, I think I love you so, what am I so afraid of ♪

♪ I'm afraid that I'm not sure of ♪

♪ a love there is no cure for ♪

♪ ahh ♪

♪ I think I love you ♪

♪ isn't that what life is made of? ♪

♪ Though it worries me to say ♪

♪ I've never felt this way ♪

♪ believe me you really don't have to worry ♪

♪ I only want to make you happy ♪

♪ and if you say "hey, go away," I will ♪

♪ but I think better still ♪

♪ I'd better stay around and love you ♪

♪ do you think I have a case? Let me ask you to your face ♪

♪ do you think you love me? ♪

♪ I think I love you I think I love you ♪

♪ I think I love you ♪

♪ I think I love you ♪

♪ I think I love you ♪

♪ I think I love you ♪♪

[Crowd applauds and whistles]

Shirley: Keith, dinner's on the table.

Coming.

[Telephone rings]

I'll get it.

Hello?

Hi, Tina. How are you?

Yeah. Hey, am I gonna see you later tonight?

Good, good.

What?

You're kidding.

No, uh-uh, I don't know anything about it.

Look, let me find out what this is all about.

Yeah, I'll see you later.

Okay, who booked us to perform for the morality watchdogs?

Well, I didn't exactly book us.

Danny.

I just said

I might be able to talk you into equal time.

Fair is fair.

Why didn't you ask us first?

This group is supposed to be a democracy.

Now, I know that one man, one vote

is a radical concept, but...

They're putting posters up all over town, you know.

Fair is fair.

Besides, the watchdogs are paying us.

What's fairer than that?

You're exploiting us.

Do you know what the posters say?

"The partridge family sings out

for old-fashioned decency."

And there's a jitterbug contest!

Danny: But they're paying us.

Tracy: What's a jitterbug?

Danny: It's a caterpillar with hiccups.

Laurie: Now don't try and joke your way out of this.

Danny: Who's joking? They're paying us.

You don't have to agree with them to let them pay us.

[♪♪♪]