Original subtitles

[Partridge family theme playing]

♪ Come on now and meet everybody ♪

♪ and hear us singing ♪

♪ there's nothing better than being together ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ the five of us ♪

♪ and mom working all day ♪

♪ we knew we could help her if our music would pay ♪

♪ Danny got Reuben to sell our song ♪

♪ and it really came together when mom sang along ♪

♪ come on now and meet everybody ♪

♪ and hear us singing ♪

♪ there's nothing better than being together ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪

♪ when we're singing ♪♪

Danny, why aren't you packing? We're leaving in an hour.

I know.

I'm just thinking about something.

About what? About the album.

Since it's our first album, it's got to be good.

We may not get a second chance.

Well, I'm sure we all intend to do our best.

Sure we will,

but with so many recordings coming out,

ours might get lost in the shuffle.

We've got to have a gimmick.

Something to attract

people's attention to the album.

Do you have any ideas?

No, but punkie bizarre came up with a suggestion.

He says we should have a picture of you

on the cover...

In a bikini.

Oh, he did, did he?

Well, I Don't like that idea.

Either do I.

That's the thing about punkie.

He has no class.

Thanks a lot.

Nothing against you.

It's just punkie just turned 12.

Maybe he's going through that change of life.

He thinks a lot about girls?

Yeah. He can't get serious about anything.

You know something?

You have a tendency to be too serious.

You're a little too young to be worried about business.

Besides, that's Reuben's job.

I know, but two heads are better than one.

We've got to have an angle.

Look, Reuben will be here in a minute.

Why Don't you just forget about it?

Hey, what's going on?

I thought all of us

were supposed to be loading up the bus.

We got sidetracked. Business.

Oh. Well, the bus would get loaded a lot faster

if everybody helped.

I'm just trying to help.

Besides, it's a great idea.

A partridge family ring with a secret decoding device.

It's big.

It could make the back

of every cereal box in the country.

That kind of thing was big when I was a kid.

I've got a better idea.

Forget the cereal boxes.

We'll put the offer right on the back of the album.

Forget it.

It lacks class.

I think it's got class,

but nobody seems to care what I think.

That's enough, Danny.

All right, everyone. Grab something.

It's time for us to go.

But, mom...

The argument is over and you lose.

But why do I lose?

Because I'm bigger than you.

Now, go and get into the bus.

Okay, but right is on my side.

Well, he sure doesn't give up easily, does he?

He can't admit he's suffered

his first setback in business.

A has-been at age 10.

Are you sure we haven't forgotten something?

We always forget something.

Don't worry.

If you've forgotten anything,

I'll bring it with me when I come.

Will you go on?

Where's Tracy?

You almost forgot the mail.

Cheer up, Danny. You'll make a million next time.

I could make a million now

if everybody would stop treating me like a 10-year-old.

You are a 10-year-old.

See?

Goodbye, Reuben.

Bye.

And Don't worry about things here.

Just make that album a goodie.

All: Bye. Bye, Reuben. Bye.

[Brakes squealing]

We have a big problem.

You weren't gone 30 seconds.

Guess what, Mr. Kincaid?

I just got a letter from the U.S. government.

I've been drafted.

That's impossible.

The army doesn't draft kids.

Let me see this.

How are you at peeling potatoes?

Oh, this is silly.

It's right there in black and white.

A legal document.

The army doesn't draft little boys.

Then how come they say the army makes a man out of you?

They've just made a mistake.

They run all that stuff through computers.

Then the computer made a mistake.

Well, the army must want some other Daniel partridge.

What if they want this Daniel partridge?

What's so far out about that?

I'll take care of this. You go on ahead.

[Sighs]

Don't worry.

I'll see you in a couple days, okay?

Bye, kids.

All: Good bye, Mr. Kincaid. Bye, Reuben. Bye, Reuben.

Danny partridge in the army.

What a lovely thought.

Keith: Hey, Danny, you made up your mind yet?

Danny: About what?

Are you going in the army

or are you splitting to Canada?

Very funny.

What makes you guys so sure the government made a mistake?

Can you see Danny in boot camp?

Them teaching him hand-to-knee combat?

Kids, leave Danny alone.

Boy, this sure isn't my day.

First, I'm not good enough to make a business proposal.

Now I'm not good enough for the army.

What a drag.

Don't let them get to you, honey.

The trouble is nobody gives me any respect.

[Wind howling]

Partridge reporting, sir! Good man.

That troop train must be stopped at any cost.

Yes, sir.

You... you understand, partridge,

you might not come back from this mission alive.

I knew that when I volunteered, sir.

Right.

Now go out there and give them heck.

Yes, sir.

But... but, captain,

you can't send the kid up in that old crate.

I couldn't stop him if I wanted to.

That's... That's why I respect him.

All I can say is

I think the army is horribly unfair.

Because they want Danny to be a soldier?

No, because they drafted him

without even sending him a draft card.

I mean, what if he wanted to burn it

or something?

Oh, he wouldn't do that.

He's not allowed to play with matches.

[Gunfire]

Men, we're completely surrounded.

Our only chance is to let headquarters know our position.

A small patrol might be able to get through, sarge.

Good idea, partridge. Pick your best men and move out.

Okay. Cavelli, goldberg,

Murphy, Hernandez,

karowski, and running cloud, follow me!

[Gunfire]

I respect that kid.

Not only does he have guts,

he can remember all those names.

Danny, Danny. Danny.

A soldier wouldn't steal a little girl's sucker,

would he?

Not when it's icky.

Even a soldier can only take so much.

Then hold my sucker.

[Inaudible whisper]

Tracy, I told you to do that

before you left the house.

Okay, that last take sounded pretty good.

Let's try it one more time for luck.

Okay. The instrumental?

Right. Right.

Any time you're ready.

Okay. Are we ready?

All set. Yup.

Let's go. Ready.

Three, four, five, six, seven, and...

[♪♪♪]

Hold it.

Something's wrong. I can't hear the bass.

But I'm playing.

You left your amplifier

on standby.

Danny, please try and concentrate.

We only have a few days to finish this album

or it doesn't get finished at all.

We have a doomline, you know.

That's a deadline.

Okay, we'll take the instrumental track.

Then we'll take the vocals.

Okay.

Let's make it good.

One, two, three, four...

Five, six, seven, eight.

♪ Today may be a never-ending highway ♪

♪ and yesterday a half-forgotten smile ♪

♪ but I can hear tomorrow singing ♪

♪ from around the bend ♪

♪ it's just another dusty mile ♪

♪ and I got dreams to spare and time to spend ♪

♪ time to spend ♪

♪ so I'm on the road ♪

♪ traveling free and easy traveling on ♪

♪ got to get on ♪

♪ oh, I got to get on ♪

♪ got to fill my life with living ♪

♪ just tell everyone I've gone on the road ♪

♪ the morning whispers follow me come my way ♪

♪ by noon I'm on the far side of the sun ♪

♪ and I can't keep these wheels ♪

♪ from rolling ♪ into one more town ♪

♪ there's so much to be seen and done ♪

♪ to settle up ♪

♪ before I settle down ♪

♪ settle down ♪

♪ so I'm on the road traveling free and easy ♪♪

It sounded good.

Well, we're a little behind.

I think we'll finish on time.

Ah. There's no big hurry.

We can't finish the album

for two years anyway.

What do you mean?

What? Why? What do you mean?

It'll be two years

before Danny gets out of the army.

What?

Don't worry. Since Danny is such a...

Gifted child,

maybe they'll let him skip basic training.

Why does mom

always send me out of the room

when she gets mad?

Because you're too young to hear all that stuff.

She sends you out too.

I know. That's the part I can't figure out.

We always miss the fun.

I mean, I just Don't understand this at all.

It's silly, stupid, and just plain dumb.

I... I did everything I could.

They just kept saying

the computer doesn't make mistakes.

Well, then they've got k-rations for brains.

You are what you eat.

I tell you they are going to eat their words

because I'm going home right now to have it out with them.

You Don't have to do that.

Don't you try and stop me, Reuben.

I wouldn't try to stop you with a band of mercenaries.

But I did manage to get Danny's draft records

changed to the L.A. induction center.

Well, I know it's not much, but at least now

you Don't have to hijack a plane to northern California.

I know you've done your best,

but now it's my turn.

Come on, Danny.

Ah, mom, couldn't Danny just stay here?

But I want to watch the fight.

Well, it's not going to be a fight.

Just a little skirmish.

If you can go alone,

the rest of us can cut the instrumental tracks.

If Danny goes too, we can't do anything.

Is Danny's birth certificate in here?

Yeah.

Then I'm armed and ready.

Won't you just take a look at it, please?

I'm sorry, ma'am. I only handle m.O.S. Forms.

You'll have to take that to sergeant sizemore in area g.

Where is area g?

Thank you, corporal... um...

Corporal.

Okay, Roberts, report to room seven.

Name?

Ah, partridge. Shirley l.

Excuse me, ma'am. Can i...

Can I help you?

Yes, ah, you see, my son is being drafted.

Well, you've come to the right place.

But you can't draft him.

Oh, yes, we can.

You Don't seem to understand. He's just a little boy.

To a mother, they're all just little boys.

But little boys grow up to become little men.

And little men become soldiers, and then they're my problem.

Would you just take a look at his birth certificate?

Well, how about that?

Oh, at last.

Eight pounds, 10 ounces.

He was a big one, wasn't he?

But, sergeant, you're not looking...

I'm sorry, ma'am. You'll have to take that

to warrant officer moody in s-1.

Next. Oh!

However, your son can fill out

a conscientious objectives claim.

He's only 10 years old.

Oh, look, Mrs. Partridge,

if the computer says that your son is 19,

he's 19.

Would you please look at the date on the birth certificate?

Did a computer make this out? No. A doctor.

I thought so.

You see, the computer doesn't make mistakes.

And neither did the doctor. That's not my department.

Whose department is it?

Well, darned if I know.

Why Don't you go check with captain domes?

[Groans] Oh.

[Muted]

[♪♪♪]

Sorry I'm late, kids. Are we ready to record?

Wait a minute.

Shirley?

All right, what happened down at the induction center?

You didn't louse up the army for me, did you, mom?

No, honey, I didn't.

The army was already loused up by the time I got there.

You mean, you couldn't convince them

that they'd made a mistake?

Are you kidding?

The army hasn't admitted making a mistake since 1952.

What happened in 1952?

They drafted me.

Well, what are we going to do about Danny?

I'll tell you exactly what we're going to do.

We're going to report for induction tomorrow morning.

If the army wants Danny, the army is going to get Danny.

I guess this is it, mom.

Well, maybe not when they see how old you are.

Mom, it's time you faced facts.

Like the poster says, uncle Sam wants me.

Well, Don't forget to write.

I'll write every day, mom.

Oh, maybe I ought to go in with you

just in case there's some sort of problem.

You can't go in there.

Why not?

There's 75 naked men in there.

Well, in that case,

I guess we'd better say our goodbyes right here.

Okay, but I want you to know

I hate running out on you like this.

I mean, right in the middle of our first album

and everything.

It's not your fault, Danny.

I know. But I still feel responsible.

Maybe I can wrangle up a weekend pass

to finish up the album.

Well, um, I haven't cancelled the session yet today.

It's possible you may not pass your physical, you know.

Are you kidding?

I've never been in better shape in my whole life.

I gotta go now, mom.

Maybe we'd better just shake hands.

Be very careful, Danny.

Goodbye.

Bye.

[Sighs]

Man: Have your papers ready.

Keep it moving.

Okay, men, next. Come on.

Hit my hand. Hit my hand. Right here. Right here.

Keep the line moving.

Keep it moving. Keep it moving.

Okay, everybody, strip down to your shorts.

All I wanna see is elbows and underwear.

Hop to it.

All right, men.

You've all passed your physicals.

Now, in groups of 12,

you will follow me into captain dome's office,

where you will be sworn in to the United States army.

Are there any questions?

Good.

Now, the first group of 12 will count off.

You will count off loud and you will count off clear.

Ready? Count off.

One. Two. Three.

Four.

Five.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold it.

Who's four? Step forward, four.

I'm four, sir.

Corporal wrzesinski!

Captain domes, sir! Major plax!

Mom! You're still here.

Oh, Danny.

What took so long?

I was beginning to think they were going to take you.

I almost made it.

It certainly took them long enough to find out

you were only 10 years old.

Oh, that wasn't the reason I was rejected.

It wasn't? No.

Well?

I was too short.

Oh...

Mom, what are you doing awake?

Do you know what time it is?

I should be asking you that question.

What are you doing awake?

Do you know what time it is?

I'm not sleepy.

I Don't know how you do it.

Finishing the album, that long drive home.

I'm bushed.

Mom, you shouldn't drive yourself so hard.

You know, you are getting up there.

Well, I'm not up that far yet.

What's on your mind?

Oh, nothing.

It must be something or you'd be asleep by now.

I've just been thinking about the past few days.

Reuben not taking my advice.

The army not taking me.

I think those experiences have made me

wise beyond my years.

What have you learned?

Well, no matter how much I think of myself,

I'm only 10 years old.

I guess maybe adults do know a little more than I do.

You know something?

You are wise beyond your years.

Thanks.

I think I'll be at least 11 and a half

before I'm emotionally mature.

Good night, sweetheart.

Good night.

Hey, he's here.

He's here,

and it looks like he's got it!

Hey, Danny. Reuben's here.

All: Let me have it! Let me see.

Chris: Our very first album!

Hot off the press.

At least it's a lovely cover.

It's terrible. We all look moldy.

No, it's Chris' chocolate hands.

Chris, go and wash those hands.

I Don't have to, mom.

I wiped them off on the album.

Let me see it.

No liner notes. Just a picture of a pigeon.

It's supposed to be a partridge.

There is a connection, Danny.

I decided against liner notes.

But you gotta have liner notes.

The way I figure,

if people Don't like the album,

liner notes won't help.

If they do, you Don't need them.

Yeah, I think you're right.

I know we talked about liner notes, but... you do?

Yeah.

You mean, you and I agree on something?

Mm-hmm.

Well, that never happened before.

I mean, we never agree.

I wonder if I did the right thing.

I mean, you gotta have liner notes.

I'll never understand people over 15.

[♪♪♪]