Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

Now, now-now-now look, Uncle Phil

we don't need nothing too fancy

as long as it's got vibrating bucket seats

a refrigerated glove compartment

and a license plate that say..

[growls softly]

Will, this car is for basic transportation

not your indulgences.

That's right, big guy.

We want something that emphasizes good sense

over style and excitement.

Hm. How about a '94 you?

- There it is. - Oh, okay.

Ta-da!

The all new Accountant BX.

I-it has the latest technology in childproof door locks.

Wha.. Carlton! Now, what are the honeys gonna say about a dude

cruising around in one of these?

They'll say, "Why, there goes a thrifty

"level-headed young man."

Yeah, right before they say

"And I'll never have sex with him."

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story all about how ♪

♪ My life got flipped turned upside-down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute ♪

♪ Just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxing all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're moving with your auntie ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said Fresh ♪

♪ And it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to the house about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabby ♪

♪ Yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

Afternoon, gentlemen.

- Philip Banks. - Pete Fletcher.

I'll be right with you.

Thank you, I think we found what we're looking for.

Oh, good. I like a man who knows what he wants.

Makes my job a whole lot easier.

Hey, Hey, hey! Whoa!

Uncle Phil, you-you not seriously considering

making me drive t-this Carltonmobile, are you?

Son, when I was in college

I drove a manure-brown '65 Dodge Dart.

So why you taking that out on me?

What a piece of junk.

Tow trucks used to follow me around like vultures.

You deserve better, Uncle Phil.

Uh, perhaps.

Don't listen to him, dad. It's a trick.

Check this out, Uncle Phil.

Huh? Hmm. You like that, right?

[Philip giggles]

There you are, Uncle Phil..

Twenty-five years younger..

...thousands of pounds thinner.

Cruising the strip at Princeton.

Hmm. Wind blowing through your big old fro.

Honeys checkin' you out.

[giggling]

They're saying "Mm, there go Philip Banks

he is a bad mamma jamma."

[Philip giggling]

They wavin' at you, Uncle Phil.

Go ahead, go ahead, wave back.

It's okay, wave back. Go ahead.

Right on, sisters!

Dad, did I mention that the all-new Accountant

gives 75 miles to the gallon?

To hell with the Accountant, I want this.

Excellent choice, Mr. Banks.

Come on in the office, we'll crunch some numbers.

Alright.

Dad, Will just bamboozled you.

And that's the story we'll tell your mother. Thank you, Will.

[instrumental music]

You bought a great car, Mr. Banks.

- Thanks for your business. - No, no, thank you.

- Carlton. - Someday.

- Ah, Will? - Oh, yes, sir.

- I believe this is yours. - Yo, a grand?

Yeah, well, that's the standard commission for an Evader.

Oh, I forgot something.

Wh-what? Another zero?

Hey, hey.

Well, I can only pay commission to someone who works for me.

Interested?

Uh, that sounds great, man. I can't fade that right now.

- I'm still in school. - Well, good for you.

Forget I mentioned it.

What does a college kid need with cash like this anyway?

[chuckles]

Hey, hey, hey.

Wh-wh-what're you talking about?

Will, I believe you have the makings of a super salesman

and together, we can make piles of money.

Of course, my pile would be bigger.

- How about Saturdays? - Saturdays?

Well, I tell you what, you throw a CD changer

into my uncle's Evader, you got a deal.

Done. How about Sundays?

Ah, you gotta give me some wire wheels.

Holidays?

Got to give a brother cellular for that one.

[laughs]

[instrumental music]

"As you become more comfortable as a salesman

you'll develop your own style."

Hmm.

Say, baby, with all that butt

you might be needin' a hatchback.

I'm gonna be so rich.

- Hi, Will. - Oh, hey.

Hil, um, you mind if I kick my sales rap on you?

Alright now, just pretend you're buyin' a car.

No offense, Will, but I would never buy a car from you.

[chuckles]

Hil, we're pretending here.

Alright, y-you're not my cousin, y-you're somebody else.

Oh, I get it. Okay.

[clears throat]

- Uh, hi, I'm Will Smith. - And I'm the Baroness Natasha!

I'm on holiday in your country with my husband

the baron, and my lover..

...Gustav.

Um, Oh! Okay, look, uh, baroness.

I was wondering if I can interest you

in a sporty new Evader? It has a V6 dual--

Yes, of course, I take six of them

Gustav, pay the man.

You take jewels, yes?

- Hey, thanks a lot, Hil. - My pleasure. Well, I'm off.

You most certainly are.

Look, um, G, I was wondering if my sales--

Peasant!

Hey, hey. Uncle Phil, can I kick my sales rap..

Later. Later. Your Aunt Viv and I are going for a ride

in daddy's new toy.

[laughs]

- Oh, what is that? - This is cruising music.

"Al Green and the Isley Brothers."

- Oh, sookie, sookie, now. - Baby!

♪ Money money money money ♪

♪ Money ♪

♪ Money money money money ♪

♪ Money ♪

♪ Money money money money ♪

♪ Money ♪

♪ Money money money money ♪

♪ Money ♪

♪ Money money money money ♪

♪ Money ♪

♪ Money money money money ♪

♪ Money.. ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ Some people ♪

♪ Got to have it ♪ ♪ Oh oh oh ♪

♪ Some people really need it ♪

♪ Do things do things do things ♪

♪ Bad things with it ♪

♪ You wanna do things do things do things ♪

♪ Good things with it ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Uh huh.. ♪ ♪ Talk about cash ♪

♪ Money money ♪

♪ Whoo.. ♪

[knock on door]

- Come in. - Hey, hey.

Will, Will, Will.

Man, congratulations. Hah!

Five cars in one day.

I've never seen anything like it.

Oh, yes, I have. Me.

Hey, look, I'm telling you, boss

it is the best feelin' in the world.

Well, there's a close second. You know what I'm talking about.

You know what I'm talking about.

Well, there'll be plenty of time for that.

Now, if you feel good now

take a look at your commission check.

I'm sorry, are my pants wet?

How many of your friends can say

they made that kind of money in one day?

What you mean, legally?

But it's a shame.

Tomorrow, when you're in some chemistry class

learning about inert gases

someone will be stealing your commissions.

- Now that's where you're wrong. - That's the spirit.

I don't take chemistry, but I damn sure know math.

So you can figure what a full-time check would be?

Oh, yes, sir. Five times this, carry the six, and add a zero.

- And what do you get? - I get out of school.

Shake hands with your new full-time man.

Whoomp! There it is.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[all laughing]

Isn't this great? Family fun and no Will.

- Your turn, son. - Okay, to me.

"You're in a department store and you find $50 on the ground.

- Do you pick it up?" - Of course not.

Geoffrey picks it up.

- Your turn, Ash. - Oh, okay, daddy.

"It's clear that your teenage daughter is not enjoying

"the tedious board game being played

in a forced family-bonding moment. What do you do?"

Fine.

I try to encourage a little quality family time together

and this is the thanks I get.

Well, if you don't wanna play you don't have to.

Go on! Get out of here!

(Vivian) Philip.

That's what it says on the card.

Oh..

Well, I'd ask if there was something else she'd rather do

and..

...discuss an alternative.

Good answer.

Oh, I bet you feel like a dummy.

Hey, hey, hey. Yo, I tore up that sales chart today.

Well, congratulations, Will, you know, if you find something

that excites you, you should hold on to it.

That's what gets me through the day.

So, Uncle Phil, wh-wh-what you're saying is that

if a guy finds a job that-that he likes

he should, he should give it his all.

Absolutely.

Then I'm doin' the right thing.

Of course, you are. What are you doing?

Oh, I'm-I'm, I'm thinking I'm gonna quit school

and sell cars full-time.

Boy, have you lost your damn mind?

There is no way you're gonna quit school as long as I'm here.

Aunt Viv, it's not like I'm-I'm working fries

in some burger joint.

I mean, look, I'm in a suit and a tie

and I'm selling fine cars.

That's right.

College isn't for everyone

and if Will is happy

I think we should all be happy for him.

That's right. Hey, thanks a lot, Ash.

Listen, I get my license in a few months.

You think you could hook me up?

Ashley, go to your room.

- Cherry red. - I got you. I got you.

- You know. - Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Will, your mother sent you here

so that you could have a bright future.

You quit school, you're just throwing it all away.

I won't allow that.

See-see, now, that's not fair, Aunt Viv.

Hilary dropped out of school and she turned out great.

Hilary's success is contrary to the laws of nature.

Totally inexplicable.

Oh, stop.

[giggles]

Okay, look, that was a bad example.

(Carlton) 'Will, I think it's stupid..'

- Stupid? It's not stupid. - Hey. Hey!

Could we talk to Will in private, please?

It's idiotic.

Look, Uncle Phil, you go to college

to figure out what you wanna do.

I mean, I found what I wanna do

and it ain't takin' me no four years.

[chuckles softly] Goin' to college is not about finding a job.

It's also about finding yourself.

And the search should take more than one weekend.

Why can't you guys respect my decisions

and treat me like an adult?

Okay, fine. I'm telling your mother.

Oh, Aunt Viv..

Look, Uncle Phil, I-I got to do this, man.

Alright, Will.

Hey, come on, man, it's not the end of the world.

Yes, it is.

If I'd waited a few days I could've bought that car

from you wholesale.

[instrumental music]

- Yo, what up, J? - Yo.

- Wsssh. - Wsssh.

I need to ask you a favor.

I need a car with a back seat.

Jazz, I can't just give you a car to take off the lot, man.

Who said anything about leaving the lot?

This will do just fine.

Look, get out. Ge-get out!

Come on, Ophelia.

That's alright, I have a real friend at the bus depot.

[instrumental music]

Uh, Will, this is impressive, man.

Twelve units in your first week.

You realize I have people on my staff who don't sell

twelve cars in a year?

Well, they in the wrong business.

So you think I should fire Harrison, do you?

- I-I didn't say that. - Well, you're wrong.

- Good. - You should fire him.

- Wh-what? Me? - Yes.

Only because I think you're excellent management material.

Here, sit down.

Put your feet up.

Good. See? Looks good on you.

Yeah. Feels nice on my butt too.

Imported cigar?

- If that's all you got. - Yeah.

Bite the end off.

You know, I'm not too sure about this firing thing, man.

Will, Harrison's been sliding downhill for years.

His sales record is embarrassing.

Especially when compared to a mover like you.

Go ahead, put him out of his misery.

It's the only humane thing to do.

Hey, this chair is made out of leather, isn't it?

Alright, alright.

Ah, say, Harrison, you got a second, man?

Sure, I'm just doing some paperwork.

You know, some nights I can barely

tear myself away from this desk.

Maybe you can take it with you.

- Ah, Look, Harrison.. - Don't get me wrong.

Did you know I have six kids?

No, I didn't know that. Hey.

And, uh, you know what, I bet you'd love to

spend more time with them, wouldn't you?

Sure, especially since Mary died.

I'll be right back.

Yo, man, did you know Harrison has six kids and a dead wife?

Of course I know.

He's my brother.

- See, now, that's cold, man. - No, Will, that's business.

When you're the manager

you make the tough decisions.

I don't know, man. But firing people ain't fun.

It's an acquired taste. You'll learn it.

I have faith in you.

I-I-I don't know, man.

That's it, you're out of here. The three of you, come on.

Don't be eyeballing me neither. Get on, come on.

Get on!

And wash those shirts. Especially you.

That's three less mechanics you got to worry about.

Great. Tomorrow, we hit the parts department.

- Yes, sir. - Come on, I'll buy you a steak.

Alright.

Hey, hey, hey. Come on, man.

You-you missed a spot.

You're fired!

[both laughing]

Fired!

[both laughing]

Now, look, the bottom line is

he wasn't producing.

Now, in this business, you either cut it or you don't.

And he didn't.

So y'all can take your belly-achin' elsewhere

'cause it's fallin' on deaf ears.

Get on out of here before I have to take my belt off.

Ow!

Yo!

Oh, that's funny? Y'all think that's funny?

What were my nieces and nephews doing here?

Yeah, they were coming to plead your brother Harrison's job.

I-I guess none of them good salesmen either, huh?

You're beginning to scare me.

Can I adopt you?

[laughs]

Hey, Pete.

Do you remember November 6, 1987?

How can I forget? That's the day I set the sales record

for the entire Southern California area.

I sold 11 cars.

Well, ten, while one of them had an exploding gas tank.

As far as I'm concerned

once they leave the showroom it's a sale.

Well, that don't matter, because today I'm gonna sell 15.

Nobody can sell 15 cars.

- Will Smith can sell 15 cars. - Oh, yeah?

Why don't you try your hand at that angry sister

that just came in?

- Yo, man, that's my mom! - Hmm.

So what? A sale's a sale.

Hey, hey, ma.

Boy, where do you get off dropping out of school?

Ah, Mrs. Smith, if I may interject.

Who the hell are you?

Ah, mom, th-th-this is my boss.

This is, this is Mr. Fletcher.

Oh, so you're the snake

that lured my boy

from that fine institute of higher learning.

Mrs. Smith, your son has a bright and productive future

here at Mulholland Motors.

Oh, really? You ever been beat up by a woman?

Not without having paid for it.

Ah, Will, I'll be in my office

hiding under the desk if you need me.

Now, mom, listen, for the first time in my life

I found something that I'm good at and that I enjoy.

- I-it feels good, mom. - Oh, yeah?

- Does this feel good? - Ow! Mom.

- Which way is that college? - Mom.

- Mom! - Let's go.

Ow! This doesn't feel good, mom.

My commission!

[instrumental music]

Mmm. This fat-free cake isn't bad.

Sir, that's a sponge!

Well, I guess I'll start my homework now.

And I got a lot of studyin' to do.

If I expect to make the best of this wonderful opportunity

to get my college education!

Wil, your mother's not here.

She went out to dinner with your Aunt Viv.

Oh, she better had.

Will, I'm..

I'm sorry we had to involve her in this

but you really left us no choice.

[chuckles] How in the world did she get the college to readmit you?

She threatened to enroll herself.

[chuckles]

Well, we're all glad you finally came to your senses.

I mean, you have plenty of time to figure out

what you wanna do with your life.

And being a car salesman didn't exactly bring out

your most endearing qualities.

Uncle Phil, I was getting paid, man.

Will, what you do for a living

should provide you with a sense of pride

and, and personal fulfillment.

I-it should tap into that part of you

that has something valuable to give to the world.

Shouldn't be just about money.

You really believe that, Uncle Phil?

Yes, son, I do.

Then how do you explain bein' a lawyer?

I'm going to get another piece of sponge.

[instrumental music]

How in the world did she get the college to readmit you?

She threatened to enroll herself.

[chuckles]

Well, we're all gla..

Well, we're all glad you came to your senses.

You know, you have plenty of time to figure out

what you wanna do with your life.

And being a car salesman didn't exactly, uh, promote your..

[bleep]

It didn't promote..

Excuse me. It's people from the lord.

There's people of the lord in the audience.

Well, it ain't like they ain't never used that word.

(Will) 'We sorry.'

[mumbling indistinctly]

See.. See, James-James Avery..

See, he's a heathen.

- He's just a heathen. - 'Amen!'

He's a blasphemer.

(male #1) 'Here we go.'

[all laugh]