Original subtitles

- I'm in. - I call.

- Me too. What you got, man? - Oh, it's so pretty!

It's just so pretty, if I had two sets of lips

I'd kiss myself. Boom! Trump aces.

[laughing]

Well, it's 9:30, time to turn in.

The Peacock's catering a big party

tomorrow night after Michelle Michaels concert.

Oh, and I suggest you get some shut eye, mister.

We'll be melon balling at 0600.

I can't believe you guys are gonna be hanging out

with Michelle Michaels, man, she is a goddess.

Please, she put her bra on one cup at a time

just like everybody else.

I'd pay big money to see that.

Hey, save your dough for Friday night, alright.

Uh, what's Friday night?

Oh, no. There's some people coming over.

We-we're gonna watch the fight on Pay-Per-View.

Look, Will, I have better things to do with my Friday nights

than sit around, watching some stupid boxing match on TV.

Well, you overlooked one small fact, Carlton.

- What's that? - You weren't invited.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is the story all about ♪

♪ How my life got flipped-turned upside down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town ♪

♪ Called Bel Air ♪

[instrumental music]

♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said ♪

♪ You're movin' with your aunty and uncle in Bel Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I could say that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo home to Bel Air! ♪

♪ I pulled up to the house about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ Looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel Air ♪♪

[music continues]

(Will) 'Whoa, whoa, whoa, now, hold it.'

No-Now, don't think of this just as a backstage pass.

Think of it more as a merit badge.

Now, what you gonna do to earn it?

You gotta do something, right.

You know what I'm saying?

What's up? What you gonna do?

Will, Will, we have a crisis situation.

The glasses have spots on 'em.

Oh, my God! Why didn't you come to me sooner?

Hey!

Relax, squeaky, it's just a dumb old party.

You don't look at the big picture, do you?

Today, Michelle Michaels, tomorrow, Gloria Estefan.

And then, dare I dream, Michael Bolton.

[crowd cheering]

Ian, you know I didn't feel like anything was clicking tonight.

Are you sure the new songs are working?

Three words, babe, fab-u-lous, am I right?

Look at that, everybody jumping.

Now, people act so stupid when celebrities get around.

I need a reality check.

You, waiter.

- Come here. - Me?

Yeah, you.

Miss Michaels wants to see me!

- Have you heard my new record? - Oh, sure, baby, who hasn't?

- It's magic, isn't it? - Right, sister.

Please.

Do you like it?

Well, you got some beats, you do got some beats.

And you mix some lyrics with your beats

and you-you blended them.

- Be honest. - I think it stinks.

I apologize, Miss Michaels, um, he's from a foreign land.

Uh, back to work, Vladimir!

Carlton Banks here, I balled your melons.

Get out of here!

So..

...is there anything you do like about my record?

Oh, yeah, that cover is slamming, you know.

How long it take you to get all that honey off

you girl, you know?

You look all sticky and everything, you know.

I'm-I'm-I'm sorry, I'm just acting stupid, you know.

Eh, I'm just tripping, I can't believe

that I'm actually talking to Michelle Michaels.

And I can't believe I'm actually talking to..

Who are you?

Oh, Will Smith, of the Philadelphia Smiths.

So, honest, Will, did you like the show?

Oh, I-I-I've been back here, the whole time.

I really couldn't hear anything. All I heard was..

[gibbering]

I really didn't have it going on

but next time I'm gonna kick it.

And maybe you could be there.

Yeah, I'm with that, that's a good idea.

[clears throat]

Um, I need to get back to work.

- Um, s-see you later? - Yeah.

Alright.

You know, Miss Michaels, I thought your album stunk too.

And she only wanted to know my opinion.

Will, I cannot believe Michelle Michaels

actually spoke to you.

Hey, I checked her coat!

Really?

I wonder who'll play you in the movie of her life?

You know what, Will? Maybe I'll get you

Michelle Michaels new CD for your birthday.

[gasps]

Oh, my goodness.

That's right, I do have a birthday comin' up.

You know, it just totally slipped my mind.

Now, now, listen, nothing too fancy.

Something in a hatchback will do just fine.

Will, you are impossible to surprise.

So this year, we're not doing anything special.

Okay, we're all set, birthday reservations

at Wolfgang Puck's new restaurant.

- Oops. - 'Hilary.'

Oh, that's alright, don't even worry about it.

Y'all, hey, Aunt Viv, you can still surprise me

with that red sweater you hiding in the upstairs closet.

Wolfgang Puck, huh?

You were great, he fell for it.

Yeah, he'll never suspect we're giving him a surprise party.

We're giving him a surprise party?

I am proud to announce Miss Michelle Michaels!

Are you stalking me?

No, I just wanted to see you again.

It was so nice to talk to somebody

other than a hysterical fan, you know.

Oh, my God! Michelle Michaels!

Your second song on your third album is so cool.

Who was Omar? Is he your boyfriend?

- He is so fine, you-- - Ashley, please.

Hilary Banks, TV weather girl. Pardon my little sister.

She doesn't know how to talk to celebrities.

So, Mich.

How about a song?

Oh, hello there, I'm Philip Banks, this is my wife, Vivian.

We're not hip, so we don't know your music.

It's nice to meet you anyway, though.

Now, let's give Will and Ms. Micheals them some privacy.

- Yeah, come on. - Come upstairs.

- Bye. - It was nice meeting you.

It's good to see you again, Michelle.

- Miss Michaels? - Yes?

Don't think of me as just a manservant

think of me as a pleasure dome.

Thank you.

Thank you, G, thank you very much. Move.

- Well, that was embarrassing. - No, they're sweet.

So do you wanna come to my concert tonight?

You can watch from backstage.

Oh, goodness, see, tonight is dime a frame bowling night

you know, top scorer gets those cute little shoes.

And I just couldn't miss that.

I'll send a limo for you at 6:00.

[instrumental music]

And then right after the concert, she took me to this

fly restaurant called Chez Pinette.

Chez Pinette? Isn't that up near San Francisco?

Oh, did I forget to tell y'all?

She flew me up there in her private jet.

- What? - Michelle has a private jet?

Listen, she got a private jet, she has a yacht.

Does she have a brother?

Well, I-I don't know, I'll find out tonight.

We're going to the Golden Choice Music Awards.

They got us sitting between Ike and Tina, you know

just in case something flare up.

Hey, y'all, don't wait up.

Hilary, is the coast clear?

No, there's gonna be patchy morning fog

with limited visibility.

I meant, is Will gone?

- Yeah, he's gone. - Let's talk about this party.

Okay, Hilary, you are getting the DJ

and I arranged for the caterer.

Why should I pay for a caterer if I have a butler?

Philip complains, that only leaves the cake.

All set, I ordered a Sonny the Seal ice-cream cake.

His sleek little body is made of chocolatey goodness

and he balances a ball of tutti-frutti sherbet

on his buttercream nose.

You are way too into this.

I guess at your age birthdays

are no longer a cause for celebration.

[doorbell rings]

Look, I'm giving up a hair appointment with Sergei

to hang out with Will and his loser friends.

Will's friends are not losers.

Greetings, y'all.

Jazz, to what do we owe your presence?

My guess would be inbreeding.

I'm taking care of entertainment for Will's party.

No, Jazz, I've already shelled out for a DJ.

Perfect, now we have music for my stripper.

Oh, no, you are not bringing a naked woman into my house.

Oh, no, no, you don't understand, Mrs. Banks.

She don't come in naked.

Uh-oh.

[screaming]

(Vivian) 'Where is Will? He was supposed to be here at 7:00.'

- That's it, I'm leaving. - Where are you going?

Sergei keeps the salon open till 9:00.

I'm gonna see if he can squeeze my head in.

Mr. Banks, can I borrow 50 more bucks for Princess Lalet?

Otherwise, she gonna leave.

Let her go, I've spent enough money on this party.

Here's 100 dollars, no telling when Will will come back.

Well, he didn't leave a message on the answering machine.

Maybe that's him now, shh.

Yeah, Will!

You're an hour and a half late.

What do you mean you can't make it?

Friends? What friends?

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

[instrumental music]

So, birthday boy, you having fun?

Ah, this is the best birthday I ever had.

You know, I always wanted to try skiing, too.

- You did great. - Well, yeah.

Except for that one run, I'm just glad

that the Saint Bernard didn't have to suffer.

Oh, I've been wanting to check this out over here.

- Hey, what does this button do? - No, Will!

- It's the moon roof. - Oh, and that's funny?

You think that? Okay, okay, no, no.

No, what are you doing? Don't, come down.

Come inside, it's freezing out there, Will.

- Come up, babe, it's great. - Oh, no, there's no way.

- You're crazy. - I said, come up here.

- Uh-uh. No. - Oh, you ain't with me?

Well, take that, then, girl. How's that?

Alright, that's it.

Oh, what you gonna do? what you..

[Will laughing]

Oh, man, oh, man.

Oh, I'm frozen solid!

- Really? - 'Ooh!'

Well, I..

I was thinking..

...maybe I could warm you up a little bit.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

Oh, I-I'm sorry, you know I just got caught up in the moment.

Shh.

[instrumental music]

Oh, hell, yeah.

[whooshing]

Greetings from Aspen!

Whoo! Let me tell you, what a night!

I tell you what, you open up the hot tub

and all the neighbors come out.

You know what I'm saying?

I didn't even mind Bruce and Demi, you know.

Like I-I really didn't mind Arnold and Maria.

But Frank and Kathy Lee came over with that little dude Cody.

He was makin' bubbles in the Jacuzzi

without the jets being on. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, nasty little dude, you know.

You have got a lot of nerve, Will.

Right, big guy?

Huh? Oh, yeah, right, right, right.

Uh, Will, this Maria Shriver..

...full-figured gal?

Philip!

(Vivian) 'Will.'

We were throwing you a big surprise party.

Oh, you were? Oh, I'm sorry.

I-I-I thought that we-we was just gonna have dinner.

A cleverly orchestrated ruse, bub and to think

I laid out 50 big ones on your damn cake and not just any cake.

I got you that really, really neat one in the commercials.

You know, the one that goes.

♪ Sonny the seal your tummy will squeal ♪

♪ For 49.95 oh what a deal ♪

♪ It's Sonny ♪♪

Carlton, Carlton!

Alright, okay.

Look, I-I-I said I'm sorry, alright?

Well, look, I know somebody that wants to hear

about my snowball fight with Denzel.

- Yo, Hil! - Will, no!

- Yo, Hil! - Will, no, no, no!

- Don't go there! Will. - Ashley.

- What is wrong with you, girl? - Will.

I don't think Hilary wants to see you right now.

Why, what did I do to her?

You made her miss her hair appointment with Sergei

and she had to settle for his assistant.

So what?

Damn!

'And-and I-I mean that'

in the nicest possible way, Hil.

I look like a troll doll!

Hilary, don't you think you're overreacting just a tad?

Sleep with one eye open.

Lo-Lo-Look, come on, guys.

Cut me some slack here, now-now, Uncle Phil.

Now, if you had a choice between an ordinary..

...yet-yet very thoughtful birthday party

and hitting the slopes with a superstar

which one would you choose?

You mean, which superstar would I choose?

- Well, if I had to-- - Philip.

Will.

Michelle Michaels may not feel as serious

about all this as you do.

Does that look like she's playing, Aunt Viv?

She gave it to me in Aspen.

Where are you going?

Oh, she's taking me to see the fight in Vegas.

What about the fight party you excluded me from?

You got the guys coming over to watch it on TV.

Ohh, oh, you know, I'm glad you reminded me, Carlton.

Listen, make sure they don't let you in, okay?

[instrumental music]

[cheering]

(male announcer) 'And there's the end of Round One.'

Whoo! Yo, this is better than watching

the fights with my Uncle Phil.

I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.

Hey, now, how could I not be enjoying myself?

I got Vegas, you, me a black dude and a white dude

beating the heck out of each other, life is good.

Oh, here, let me grab us a little something here.

Hey, Michelle, I got to tell you

uh, ever since the barbecue at Wesley Snipes crib

I kind of been wanting to say something to you.

And I-I haven't found a way to say it quite yet

but this thing we got going on, I just feel real good about it

you know and I just.. Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hello, who is this?

Rick Benton, we shot a swimsuit video in Tahiti.

- This is Will Smith. - Guy?

Michelle, Michelle, Michelle.

You know, you're even more alluring with your clothes on.

Isn't he the funniest male model you ever met?

Oh, wait a minute, now I recognize this dude.

I take it you've seen my calendar, huh?

Yeah, you were the April fool, right?

Look, um, Guy, listen.

Michelle is a one-man woman now, alright?

- Oh, really? - Yes, sir.

You might be able to tell by this ring she gave me.

Kinda reminds me of this one right here.

So are we all friends now?

Oh, yeah, we found out we had a lot in common.

Look, uh, black Fabio, listen.

Why don't you and your Motown-revival haircut

go back to your seat..

...um, shave your chest, shut up and just watch the fight.

- Will. - What?

Are you squaring off on me fool? What you gonna do?

What you gonna do? What you gonna do?

[indistinct shouting]

Poor Rick, he'll be in the hospital for weeks now.

How did I know he was gonna fall on Sinatra?

Well, I think you overreacted.

What am I supposed to do with some dude

putting his hands all over my woman?

Look, besides, he deserved it, he stole one of your rings.

- Will, I gave him that ring. - Oh, you did, huh?

Yeah, I did, I give out a lot of rings.

Well, I-I'm saying, this one you gave me

is the last one though, right?

I just gave one to the paramedic.

I was wondering why he was taking your pulse.

Will.

You're so adorable.

But I think we need to take some time off.

Yeah, cool, you're right, I-I'm gonna go play some slots.

- I'll be back in an hour. - Will, sit.

It's been fun.

Excuse me, been?

Will, I'm no good with relationships.

I thought you knew that, don't you listen to my songs?

Well, yeah, I do, okay, why? Alright, okay.

There's "Untouchable", there's, uh, there's, uh, there's

"Never Going To Settle", there's, uh, "Wham Bam Goodbye."

[clears throat]

Come on, this isn't goodbye.

You only say goodbye to people you're never gonna see again.

This is more like see you later.

I'll see you later, Will.

Goodbye, Michelle.

[instrumental music]

Hey, good morning, Uncle Phil.

It was a hell of a fight last night, Will.

Oh yeah, Champ ain't no joke, right?

I was referring to your bout.

They showed that on TV?

From the first shove to when Sinatra put his toupee back on.

Um, there ain't gonna be no rematch.

When dude get out of the hospital, he can have her.

She dumped you, right?

Man, you crazy! Yeah.

Well, it was a nice ride while it lasted, huh?

You know what, Uncle Phil?

I-I think I loved her.

Oh, bull!

You hardly even knew her.

No, no, Uncle Phil, I knew her, you know what I'm saying?

I knew her.

You might have known her intimately

but you didn't know her well.

Come on, face it, Will.

It was the lifestyle you're in love with.

You trying to say that the only reason I loved her

was because she was rich and let me sponge off of her?

Uh-huh.

Then I love you too, Uncle Phil.

We even saved Sonny the Seal for you.

Really, where?

[instrumental music]