Original subtitles

Everything is fine, Vivian.

Tell Ashley and Nicky that I miss them too.

Okay? Okay. Love you.

Oh, kiss your sister for me.

God knows I wouldn't do it.

- Morning. - Morning.

Well, daddy, L.A.'s favorite weather girl

is ready to go back to work.

With that on?

Oh, I know, I'm tired of black too

but I want the public to know

I'm still mourning Trevor's death.

Well, you know, I just don't think that

black is the right color for this kind of heat.

Oh, don't worry, daddy, this dress is surprisingly cool.

It's like I'm wearing practically nothing.

She's not my daughter.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story ♪

♪ All about how my life ♪

♪ Got flipped turned upside down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town ♪

♪ Called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In west Philadelphia born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're moving with your auntie ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came ♪

♪ Near the license plate said fresh ♪

♪ And it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie, yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Dad, when are you gonna get the air conditioner fixed?

It's sweltering in our place.

Yeah, man, it's so hot out there the Uh-Huh Girls just went, Uh!

Boy, everybody keeps talking about this heat wave.

Maybe I should mention it in today's weather report.

You know, that girl has got the mind of Willard Scott.

Hey, come to think of it, you got his body.

Y'all should team up.

No, no check it out, on the serious tip, uncle Phil

you-you got to fix our air conditioner today.

And we got some people coming over for a party.

And as good hosts, we'd prefer that they didn't melt.

Sorry, Uncle Phil has left the building.

You're now talking to landlord Banks

and he's not fixing anything until he gets his rent.

You'll get the rent when we get the air.

What did you say?

I'm sorry, was I talking out loud?

You know what, Uncle Phil?

Forget it, you win.

We'll just have to move our little somethin'-somethin'

from inside to poolside.

(Phil) 'Oh, no, you don't.'

No rent, no pool, no party, no nothing.

What does he mean by "No nothing?"

Oh, don't worry about it, it's a double negative.

[whispering]

- Wh-what's this? - A bill for your breakfast.

Dad, this is an outrage! Three dollars for orange juice?

Oh, and I've taken the liberty of adding a 15-percent gratuity.

Carlton, of course you know, this means war!

It certainly does. And we're gonna win, right, dad?

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Girl, let me tell you

switching this to a pool party

was a stroke of genius.

Why do you say that?

Oh, couple of reasons.

Girl, I got to tell you

that suit look like a piece of Good God

wrapped up in some have mercy

with a side of mmm.

Really? I mean, you don't think it's too revealing?

Well, if it is, your secret's safe with me.

You know? You know? Come on, let's get out of this heat

before I pop something, you know.

Come on.

Thank you, Chet. It's good to be back.

Yes, I'm here at the Farmers Market, and as you can see

my fans haven't forgotten me.

Why haven't you answered any of my letters?

Well, the good news is the heat wave is over.

LA will have a high tomorrow of only 65.

[all cheering]

Oh, sorry, that "LA" stands for Louisiana.

Our high will be a 112.

(all) Oh!

Well, they have the same abbreviation.

This is Hilary Banks surrounded by

ordinary people at the Farmers Market.

Now back to you, Chet.

Don't any of you touch me.

I can't believe she wore that dress.

Would you like a Swedish meatball, sir?

Uh, don't mind if I do.

Ah! Ah! Only one, sir.

The rest are for Master William and his friends, poolside.

What? I can't believe that he would deliberately disobey me!

I wouldn't call it disobedience, sir.

It's more like, outright defiance.

That's it!

Dance puppets, dance!

Hi, Carlton.

Hi, Steffi, what are you doing here?

I heard the party and I came to see if Ashley was home.

Well, she's away at her Aunt Helen's.

Now, run along.

I don't think you're age-appropriate for this party.

Now..

...if you'll excuse me, I'm going swimming.

Hey, Will, any sign of dad yet?

Well..

That's either him or a rhino

that got his horn chopped off.

Well, I'm going swimming in the neighbor's pool.

Carlton, listen.

We have to stand up to him, man.

If he smells fear, he'll attack.

- How dare you two defy me. - Now, see here, big guy.

[air hissing]

Oh, my God, Howard!

[crying]

Come on, Will, let's get wet.

Ah, young lady, would you mind

putting on some clothes and going home.

Now.

Whoa, baby, baby, baby. Uncle Phil, what you doing, man?

You embarrassing me in front of my friends.

You should have thought of that before you defied me.

Hi, Mr. Banks.

Steffi, do your parents know you're here?

I don't think so. They're in Aspen.

Mmm, and I'm in heaven.

Hey! She came over here on her own.

Will, I am going back in the house and when I come out

I want all of these people gone.

Well, they will be if you come out in the morning, Uncle Phil.

[laughing] Wait, wait, wait.

Let me get this straight, young man.

You are telling me what will

or will not happen in my own house?

Excuse me, but this is my house.

I pay rent here too, eventually.

You watch how you talk to me.

Well, then, Uncle Phil, stop treating me like a child.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize I was talking to a man.

That's right. It's me, Will Smith.

- 'Oh, well.' - Man.

Hmm.

I guess you're ready to play a man's game, huh?

Alright, Will, if that's the way you want it.

D-d-don't come back, neither.

[instrumental music]

G, is Uncle Phil around?

The coast is clear. He's in court.

Geoffrey, could you get us some breakfast?

I'm not allowed to serve you anymore.

Mr. Banks' orders.

G, listen, how upset was Uncle Phil last night?

Well, he did something I've never seen him do

in all the years I've been here.

What, a sit-up?

It's a bit more serious than that, I'm afraid.

You know the cherry cheesecake, candied yams

barbecued ribs left over from yesterday?

Yeah.

[gasping]

Oh, my goodness, it's still there.

Oh, I'm afraid.

- Hold me, Will. - Get off of me, man.

I don't know why I ever listen to you.

I was quite content having my father push me around

for the rest of my life.

Now who knows what he's gonna do to us.

Relax, man, what's he gonna do, sue us?

Oh, gosh, now you've gone and spoiled the surprise.

Oh, what's this?

Subpoenas from your father.

And may I say, it's been a pleasure serving you.

Case dismissed.

This is the last case of the day, number 1218.

Phillip Banks versus Will Smith and Carlton Banks

for nonpayment of rent.

Philip, I can't believe you're suing your own son and nephew.

Oh, relax, Lois.

This is just a little lesson in responsibility.

They're probably not even gonna show up.

In fact, they're probably home right now

preparing their apologies.

[dramatic music]

Looks like they've prepared more than an apology.

Mr. Banks, your opening statement.

I don't have an opening statement.

- Mr. Smith. - Thank you.

Your Honor, I'm from West Philadelphia

born and raised.

On the playground is where I spent

most of my days.

I don't have a big bag of fancy courtroom tricks

or a high-priced degree from Princeton

like my worthy adversary, Judge Philip Banks.

But what I do have is the truth!

Oh, shut up, Will!

Your Honor, Mr. Smith is making

a mockery of the entire legal system.

And this man is making a mockery of a finely cut Italian suit.

Order in the court.

Mr. Banks, will you please call your first witness.

- I don't have a witness. - I do, Your Honor.

Fine. Mr. Smith, call your first witness.

Your Honor, I'd like to call someone

who's not afraid to tell the truth..

...no matter what landlord Banks might do to him.

Someone who knows the plaintiff intimately.

Like a son, one might say.

Oh, that's great, Will, who do we have?

You, dummy.

Will, when we prepared this case

you didn't say I had to speak against my own father.

Y-y-you don't.

Just read it.

"The night was hot, forcing our party outdoors.

"Will Smith, who is neat, considerate and responsible

"smiled at me was having.."

Smile at me?

Oh, I get it.

No further questions, Your Honor.

Hold it.

I'd like to cross-examine the witness, Your Honor.

Alright, I'm guilty! I'm guilty!

- That will be all. - You may step down.

Welcome to my turf.

How did I do?

Your Honor, I'd like to call my next witness, Miss Hilary Banks.

- Hi, everybody. - Oh, boy.

Will you please take the stand?

Certainly, Your Honor.

Do you swear to tell the truth so help you God?

I do.

Okay, Miss Banks

you were the previous tenant

in the aforementioned pool house

is that correct?

Yes.

And would you please tell us

of your experiences there.

Am I under oath?

Of course.

Well, Trevor would come over at about 3 o'clock

in the morning and we would--

(all) Objection!

That does it! You may step down.

Mr. Banks, the court would like to know

the impetus for this little lesson

that's being learned, and make it quick.

I have a 5 o'clock hair appointment.

Your Honor, I will show that my tenants

were openly hostile and defiant

leaving me to believe that no rent was forthcoming.

Why, I was reading in my study late one night..

[all cheering]

[upbeat music]

Yo, yo, man, this party is dumb!

No, man, this party is stupid!

No, no, no, this party is crazy

fly, dumb, deaf, doogy!

- You the man! You the man! - You the man!

- Oh! - Oh!

- Oh! - Oh!

Hi, there. I-I see you're having a gathering.

Isn't that wonderful.

[air hissing]

Hey, pops, you popped my duck.

I'm sorry, son. Here, here's $100.

Yeah, that's more like it.

Hi.

Um, Will, where's your aunt's gold watch

that you promised me?

[laughing]

In time, baby, in time.

Why don't you go on, cool off in the pool a little bit?

Go on, girl.

[laughing]

Hey, hey, look, look, check it out, Heavy P.

Now, why don't you take your Humpty Dumpty butt

on back up to the main house, you know because

you're kind embarrassing us out here little bit.

- You know, what I'm saying? - Oh, well, I-I-I understand.

Well, kids don't like to have adults

hanging around their parties but--

- Word. - Well, well, could you?

Could you turn your music down just a drop?

We have to consider our neighbors.

[laughing] I am, dude.

Right now I'm considering their 15-year-old daughter.

[laughing]

Hi, Mr. Banks.

Steffi, do your parents know you're here?

- To hell with my parents. - Whoo!

Will taught me that.

And you know, she came over here on her own, chief.

Oh, I believe you.

Well, I guess I better go back in the house.

Well, I, I know I can trust you.

I know we've had our differences

but boy, you're a great kid.

Boy!

You callin' me "Boy?"

You better step to me like a man!

Now get to stepping! Now get to stepping!

Okay, Will, if that's the way you want it.

Whoa, whoa, oh, pa-lease!

Your Honor, that is not the way it went down.

How did it go down, Mr. Smith?

I'm glad you asked me that question.

Listen, check it out, look, the night was so hot

people was pulling up on camels, right?

So listen..

[guitar music]

Um, Gayle, would you mind

if I commented on your swimsuit?

Don't tell me, it's too revealing?

Oh, just a little bit, you know.

Listen, I've got some old T-shirts in there

that I was gonna drop off for the homeless

but you're welcome to put one on to cover up.

Oh, Will, my parents adore you.

Oh, Gayle, bring out that book of hymns

I was telling you about.

Oh, this heat is unbearable.

I need to take a dip in the pool.

Unh, unh, unh-huh, safety first, my little non-swimmer.

Oh.

Only if dad would fix the air conditioner in the pool house

we wouldn't have to be out in the sweltering heat.

How could he be so cruel?

He's mad, I tell you, mad.

Stop it. You will not speak of Uncle Phil that way.

He may be an unreasonable, pigheaded dictator

but he is your father and my uncle

and you will show him some respect.

You're right, Will. Thanks.

[rumbling]

It's...It's...It's him.

Do you know how humiliating it is

to have a son who can't swim?

[air hissing]

[crying]

- Listen, Uncle Phil-- - Silence.

If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.

- Hello, Mr. Banks. - What's she doing here?

U-Uncle Phil, sh-she wandered over, lonely and crying

and I didn't have the heart to turn her away.

Hit the bricks, you little tramp!

Out of here!

And tell your mother your father has a girlfriend!

I'm going back into the house, and when I come out

I want all these freeloading parasites out of here!

Ye-ye-yes, sir, within the hour.

- Five minutes! - Four.

Alright, Will..

...if that's the way you want it.

[laughing]

And then he slapped me with a subpoena.

- Thank you, Mr. Smith. - You're welcome.

Mr. Banks, will you please approach the bench.

Is that victory I smell?

I am disappointed in you

for allowing your family relationship to come to this.

- That's what we saying. - Ah, s-s-shame.

Yeah, ju...oh, shame.

In lieu of a written lease

the law stipulates

a landlord must provide his tenants

with electricity, gas and plumbing.

Yeah.

However, air conditioning

is considered a luxury.

Rent cannot be withheld

based on a malfunctioning appliance.

Meaning?

Meaning you'll have to pay the rent.

Yes!

This will be a good one for the cocktail parties, Philip.

[laughing]

We're going to appeal this decision.

I intend to cite the landmark case

of Rhode Island versus Schechter Poultry.

Carlton, that has to do with

the right to hang dead chickens

in a butcher-shop window.

Well, then, you see where I'm going with this.

[clearing throat]

Guess this whole thing got a little out of hand, huh?

Yeah.

Will..

Look, let's..

...let's try not to let this ever happen again, huh?

I don't want your hand, I want my rent.

Oh, man, I don't believe.

Uncle Phil, didn't you learn nothing from all this mess?

Yeah, never rent to relatives.

What did we go through this whole episode for?

Money.

Well, you could at least say you're sorry.

Not until you say it first.

Will you please take the stand?

Certainly, Your Honor.

Do you swear to tell the truth, so help you God?

[laughing] I'm sorry.