Original subtitles

[Music]

[Music]

well

hello hello out there ladies and

gentlemen once again once again it's

time for Martin's Mighty midnight Mat

movie now come on everybody up up

everybody up tonight we have a real Jim

Dandy picture for you a television first

a real 100% talki now this picture is

brought to you by the Colgate Palm Olive

company makers

of palm Olive rapid shave it out shaves

them all Ajax the foing CL cleanser

action cleanser and Halo the shampoo

that glorifies your hair and Val it's

marvellous last but not least Palm Olive

soap mild and gentle for a cleaner

fresher

complexion thank you Mildred and

now feature picture for the evening

ladies and gentlemen it's a brand new

foreign import and here's the

picture

just dep pict

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

you

[Music]

exciting well you bet it's

exciting the next portion of our picture

is brought to you by the makers of kic

coffee kic coffee ladies and gentlemen

brand

new brand new

[Laughter]

coffee and we suggest that you get CRC

coffee real great

coffee oh

jeez this coffee ladies and gentlemen is

the coffee with the flavor removed it

has no

taste no taste so you can't form a habit

now Friends next time you're at your

groceries don't just ask for coffee ask

for cray coffee as for by name and if

you can't think of the name ask for

tea now back to our feature film egg

roll is a many Splendid dish starring

Japan's famous moving picture star tab

yatuchi

there's the

picture

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

too some need

to

foree

[Music]

fore

[Music]

friends we'll be back to our picture in

a few moments now here's a Dandy handy

Gadget right here's a Dandy handy Gadget

ladies and gentlemen no house swi should

be without this how does it work that's

a very good question how's it work

Mildred put in some nice some beets

that's right and put a few some Sal cery

and uh some carrots and uh cucumbers and

some potatoes and some turnips thank you

and another turnup and I'll see you

later uh now you just pressed a little

buzzard and you stop The Bu and there

you are ladies and gentlemen open the

handy dandy drawer and we have instant

garbage now back to our picture

[Music]

[Music]

spee we know

what

speech

fore

[Music]

[Music]

speech

[Applause]

now friends we have a big surprise for

you visiting with us tonight is the star

of the picture you've been watching

ladies and gentlemen Japan's biggest

star tab yatuchi

[Applause]

what is what what's that mean I'm

nauseous oh all

right well Mr yuchi every time a foreign

star visits our country I asked them the

same question now tell me what do you

think of American

women what does that mean oh

ladies and

gentlemen I had the privilege and the

pleasure of witnessing the preview of Mr

yagi's latest picture rice cake jungle

and oh a very good picture and we make

it in chiaki

Vision friends when I talked to Mr

yaguchi on the overseas cable last week

he promised he would do a scene from the

picture if I would assist him so ladies

and gentlemen here's the

scene God bless

you this is Tokyo city of

intrigue the plans for a new type

airplane have been stolen and the

suspect and International Spy has been

captured and being brought into the

office of the secret police for

[Music]

questioning sit down and stay

down all quiet quiet everyone chief of

police come

[Laughter]

[Applause]

[Music]

now Mar a toe Mar a toe Mar a toe Mar a

toe Mark your own toe shut

[Laughter]

up so Mr C we meet once again

huh I uh very happy to have opportunity

to talk to you Mr coret we have reason

to believe that you are involved in

stealing very important

secret

now

Mr I am very patient man and I feel Mr G

got the best thing that we can

do like that smile off your face when I

talk to

you you oh pardon me honorable

grandfather you Mr

coretti now you see Mr

coretti I am very very patient man and I

like when people like me when they say

how you

Timo how you feel Cho I don't like

people not to like me so you give me

straight answer what about

PL I don't got no

plans you have no plans I got no plans

for this evening

either get W

Mr I'm talking about plans for airplane

airplane plans that's right airplane

about airplane

plan don't be too smart Mr coretti if I

don't get straight answer you not walk

out of here you

understand

now ifin

ifan

you you play ball with me I play ball

with you now now you must give me

definite answer you like to play ball

yes okay catch

right who want there's a grounder oh you

wantet I would appreciate if you would

stand up when I talk to you someone die

you come shut your

mom Mr C will you be good enough enough

to if you don't mind of course to empty

pocket come come come empty

[Music]

pocket what you occupation I'm a school

teacher what this over here Mr coet

happens to be a yoyo what you make fool

out of CH please just

teabag this teab bag we soon shall find

out if you'll make fool of

[Laughter]

me we see what this is Yo Yo or te bag

me no

fool that yoyo

yoyo

we have reason to believe that friends

for airplan have been stolen on the 13th

day of October this year we have good

information that all people that take

friend what do you do there with God

keep your eye on

here your M out

way

shut door

out oh

keep we have all information here of

your activities to last three and A2

week when you arrive here we know you

went to Hotel you check in you met some

friends and

it ah

hey keep your ey on him I'm going to get

killed here I'm I'm I shut your

mouth

away I for D

it these boys find me

crazy we have met the Japan out whether

you have information of friend we have

methods here of torture to get

information in the event you pick one of

these is

he will you keep your eye on him he's

going to blow my brains

outy son a guy and you shut up

too he has met the torture you can have

one from column a two from column

B which torture you like

best I'll take B oh you pick a

dooy oh this want a

beauty Mr you notice we are very

friendly with you friendly that's right

and it's a torture that you pick with

take leg extend all the way out that way

someone now we take this leg extend all

the way this

way easy easy easy what do I do now make

a wish forget

it all right want see

more I'll give you the plans oh give me

plans we got plans we got plans I'll

give you the pl give me plans oh we have

PL ofpl so happy so happy I am best

keeper police in the whole world time

now to sing Happy

[Music]

song

[Music]

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[Music]

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[Music]

[Music]

a

[Music]

[Music]

darling that's the fifth drink you've

had sweetheart I only drinking cuz I'm a

little nervous what are you nervous

about afraid they might run out of

liquor darling there's nothing to be

nerv nous about mother's giving this

engagement party for us and well all

these people here are our friends

sweetheart all these people here are

your friends I don't know half of these

people well why didn't you invite that

friend of yours that you're always

talking about uh what's his name Sydney

Sydney I I could he couldn't he hasn't

got a tuxedo he can't come to these

places may I have your

attention I have a Divine surprise for

you you know I'm the patroness of the

Arts and I have prevailed on the

international violin virtuoso Misha

bloody

oh so would you all

pleas oh no more darling no

more

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

w

[Music]

a

[Music]

he

day

[Music]

[Music]

you get this bike out of

here where where should I put it over

there oh

my shut

up I I I came here to see you get a

chair and sit down will you sit down get

a

[Music]

chair

[Applause]

get a chair there's the nextra one over

there that was

[Music]

used

sit sit and watch The Virtue rosro

there I I came over to congratulate you

Dean for marrying a rich girl oh

stop this must be Sydney this is Sydney

I'm Sydney this is s this is Miss

cartright my fiance hello I'm glad to

know you and make little

acquaintances well if you're a friend

friend of Deans and you're a friend of

mine oh thank you yeah we're friends

right we grew up together Pals and

buddies and all that and we used to

steal fruit from push cards together

that's a long time ago I'm telling you

long time wasn't it Sydney

yesterday but you see how it how it

works Dean used to talk to

the step down my

foot sit down will didn't shut

[Music]

[Music]

up

don't do that don't do

what I just clearing his

throat I I got a I got I got a peanut in

my neck don't bother me with your peanut

in your

[Music]

neck

I can't help it it stuck in my neck hit

me on the

back get

your down

there you're picking on him don't pick

on

him would you please keep your eye on my

bike for me baby than

just stay away from everybody

that's what we do look why did I do

something WR did you do something wrong

you did everything wrong look at you

look how you're dressed you're dressed

like a loser I didn't invite you here

because this isn't your kind of people

this is high class you don't fit yeah

yeah I know but I'm your friend I know

but you don't belong here

Sid I'm here now so maybe could I stay

huh stay be nice stay

Hey Dean could I can I get a piece of

fruit you'll eat later I'm hungry now be

hungry later I'll forget I'll remind

you now watch The Virtue

[Music]

Roso

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

w

[Music]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Music]

what do you think you're

[Music]

doing what do you think you're doing you

should be ashamed of yourself ashamed I

am I am oh

ashamed don't help don't help me help

me will you sit down s will you sit down

and watch the nice man play the violin

you mean the virtuoso yeah

[Music]

[Music]

the

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

let go of the

[Music]

branch

I got to talk to you yeah but I didn't

mean nothing don't you see I made an

accident I don't want to have them throw

you out of this party you crashed the

party in the first place you don't

belong here now look if you continue to

embarrass me my girl won't talk to me

she'll call off our engagement I'll be

right back at the candy store well

that'll be good then because tomorrow H

me has a sale on broken

pretzels Sydney there Comes A Time in

every man's life when pretzels become

unimportant pretzels Frozen Milky Ways

popsicles l lasagna sickles with with

Lorraine it's the real thing look I even

bought her an engagement ring look at

that look at that hey it must be serious

that's a real ring with a hole in the

middle for the finger and everything

Beau that's nice let me see what did you

do I I dropped it in the PCH oh get it

well I just wanted to help Martin your

hand is in the punch bow well Sydney

wanted a drink I just thought I'd

give you can't up no you don't care

thank you very much how SRI I I don't

believe I met your old lady oh

lady excuse me this is my mother Sydney

hello Sydney that's my name s no no no

Sydney this is her mother Mrs cartright

how do you do Mrs cartright I'm glad to

see you hey what are you doing here I

told you to watch my

bike wait that was my fault Mrs you're

doing to me I'm sorry no it was my fault

I'm sorry I didn't mean anything

anything by it the Ring The Ring got to

than the whole ring see if it's in

it it's not here now I got an idea look

we'll go to the people with the drinks

and we'll look and see if they got in

there okay huh yeah that's all right all

right you ready whenever you say here we

go oh Mr Thomas about the golf game that

we're about to have tomorrow next

Mr Ango you remember the date that I had

with forget the whole thing it's all

right oh uh excuse me Mrs cartright I

was just thinking of something you know

when we were over there before talking I

you are you why did you catch me uh uh

no that that was my fault let me explain

I told him to take your drink you see

because you're you're going to be his

mother-in-law and I don't think he wants

you to be a

boozer

I told her good didn't I about the

drinking may I have your attention

line Mr cartrite and I have invited you

here tonight for a very special occasion

the engagement of our daughter Lorraine

to Mr Dean

[Music]

Mar

hey it happens to be the girl that I'm

going to marry I'd like to wish you the

best of luck

thank

hey what was this hitting me for I was

doing everybody

dinner

dinner you H me so

hot I was only kissing her like

everybody else was kissing the bride and

you had to hit me right away you hype my

whole head I think I'm bleeding a

little hey

hey don't you think it would be nice if

my fiance they sat next to

me don't you think that would be

proper let Lorraine sit here yeah but

I'm your friend I wanted to be I don't

care if you're my friend I want Lorraine

to sit here Lorraine Miss cry de want

you should be here so I'll change plac

it with you but take your dirty

silverware with

you wait a minute maybe I should sit

near my friend why don't you two change

with her and then I can sit there no you

two sit there and you sit on the back

and I'll no you two move down and then

you come around dick with I everybody my

no wait a minute move around all the

women all the women move around here

keep going that's it turn

around around that's it where you

[Applause]

going what did you hurt hey door you're

you're bending the material

you know this isn't a candy store Sydney

this is a social gathering for ladies

and gentlemen that's why I didn't invite

you invite I to invite you in the first

place you just don't fit here on the

corner you belong with the fellas but

not here they don't fit but you see I

just came over because Jean I must talk

to

you well yes honey your friend has

ruined our party I've never been so

humiliated well I'm sorry about the

whole thing I just like it how dare you

expl Expos us to

this well let me explain a thing there

honey how can you possibly explain ill

breeding lack of manners while your

friend is common

common

[Music]

common I knew

[Music]

that

you forgot something no I just

remembered something to hit me again no

I'm not going to hit you Sydney no no

but you were right I I spoiled this

whole party and I don't belong here I

guess I'm not the right kind of people

for this that's what I realized too too

why I don't belong here

myself well then we'll go and see haime

for the broken pretzels huh you sure

will I feel bad I was s there for a

minute we'll always be F you know

something that's good tell me all about

it we're two lost souls on a high way of

life we ain't even got a sister or

brother but ain't it just

great ain't it just great

we got each

[Music]

other two

lost that's all that we

are one of us s the other is

jerky but to us will stick through th

all through

[Music]

thing like

[Music]

Al it's Jerry and Dean oh no and no one

in

between like let's say J and let's say

she of course we

complain we bu and

strain but after the fuss and there's

always us and me two lost

soul each wed to each we go hand in hand

in all kinds of weather on a bottom or

top a hit or a

plop it's both

together we got each

other we got each

other each both

[Music]

together

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Halo oily greasy soapie shampoos leave

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cleaner softer brighter than any oily

greasy soapy shampoo liquid cream or

lotion just watch oily greasy soapy

shampoos coat each strand of hair with

sticky dirt catching dulling film but

now see what happens with Halo shampoo

because clear liquid Halo contains no

soap or greasy oils nothing to interfere

with cleaning action or leave dulling

film Halo glorifies hair naturally

brings out all its clean bright Beauty

with each shampoo yes Halo leaves your

hair cleaner softer and naturally

brighter than any oily greasy soapy

shampoo

Soo everybody

Halo Halo shampoo

Halo

[Applause]

ladies and gentlemen we would like to

say that it's very seldom in television

that we have a Time problem or that we

don't figure the time correctly I don't

feel too bad about it because this is a

chance I've been waiting for anyhow you

see when you have certain amount of time

you do certain things but it seems that

there's a 3-minute gap that we need and

uh they asked me to fill it and I'm glad

because for years I Tred to sing my

kangaroo Patrol song pouches forever

Beaver Patrol 303 and I would like very

much to do that now because this is with

the time I only got three minutes so I'd

like to do it for you I'd like to have

some music and I'll go all Mr LS will

you get on your mark

please who

that this Bob fle the director would you

please get on your mark oh I'm awfully

sorry Mr fle uh uh we didn't rehearse

you see ladies and gentlemen this

particular part so if we get a little

mixed up you'll have to excuse us I

guess this is where I means so here's

the number that I L you take two steps

to the left please

cooperate

two

steps left

please oh I didn't say may I I'll have

to go

back anyhow this I guess this is the

place how we move all the way down front

what move all the way down front forward

down front how's this all right over

here is this good what are you getting

me crazy I don't care how we do it let's

just let me stand regular nice you can

use a brownie here for all I'm concerned

you know let me just do the number I

have just so much time Mr pinkle so uh

thank you very much I I'd appreciate if

you'd just let me do the number that way

so if I can just have some music

[Music]

I your mind standing on your

mark not over there this is your mark

right here the director told me would

you mind standing on your

mark Mr F say he gives me orders I'm

very sorry please stand on your mark

thank

you stand on your

mark I'm a I'm a little I I don't have

too much time here Mr finle and and be

like your dad Bill finle Good pictured

man you know you're really fighting me

this time

boy okay so here's the number that I

think Oh Heaven to Betsy not

again this this not over there now no

all right

then this spot here fine Mr fle if you

don't mind just let me do the number I

have so much time look you do your job

I'll do mine all right you know what I

mean buddy at a boy just work back there

let me do this and I I'm sure I can do

fine with it what just mind your

business I'm putting it very plain you

embarrassed me on the air shut up for 2

minutes let me do this number here you

know how ill I am from this whole thing

anyhow I would like to do the number I

shouldn't have yelled at him I'm sorry

he's got a union this Union they all

have unions and I'll never hear the end

of that but I'd like to do this song

that I think that you'll

[Applause]

enjoy well I don't mind I I'll I'll do

the number I'll do the song right from

here it it makes no difference to me

because a song is a song and I enjoy

would you mind bringing this down here

and leave it right here please this is a

song that I think that you'll enjoy like

it or not your time is up the song is

out it ain't out I'm doing a song how do

you like that you took all the time

moving me around I wouldn't have had to

I could have sung four songs with

yelling and technicians I'm doing the

song now now here we go this is the

[Music]

[Applause]

wow why can't a woman be right sometimes

I didn't say you're wrong I just said I

don't understand why Val is right for

your dishwashing and your wash day

detergent doesn't it's simple V makes

dishes Shine without washing or wiping

if a bit of food clings my dishcloth

flicks it off but there's no detergent

burned to hands with v if I put V in my

hand it feels cool my wash a detergent

feels hot well if you can feel it as a

chemist I should be able to demonstrate

it scientifically come on in the laugh

I put your wash day detergent in one

glass and B in the other look the wash

day detergent is sending the temperature

up but Val isn't you're right there must

be irritating alkalizes and harsh

chemicals in this wash day detergent

that cause that temperature to rise but

this certainly proves there's nothing in

val to make the temperature rise like I

said there's no detergent burn to hands

with Val for dishes and my hands it's

marous

I love that song that's the nicest

number with such a beating

it glad you likeed it I'm glad you like

except I ain't talking to you how do you

like

that you know you need a shave that's my

hair here's the face I a't I ain't

talking to why you did a number answer

true you swear to tell the TR the whole

you to help you Pizza yes okay I did a

number just here with a with a group

everybody does a number with a group I

know everyone does the number with the

group but why that one happens to be my

little group that's why yeah my little

group you could have had I could have

had my little group on the show but did

you think of asking me

no you just went ahead and got fellas I

got a group I'd like you to sing with

you have a

group do I have a group do you no I

didn't

think have and I sing at the El with

them and everything and if you will do a

number with them they'll sing just

anything and it'll be the most Sterling

arrangement of all

time well if you want me to sing with

your group just bring them on out here

all right fellas come on out we'll do

the number this is terrific you see any

number that you want to do these fellas

can do and they're wonderful they sing

good and they know numbers you know

about two weeks ago we did a show and uh

for the Boy Scouts and they sang an

awful lot of songs for them and it's

just a little group and you sing

whatever you like to sing that's all so

whenever you you like you can get

started this is a

group like a country what are you doing

to me no this is my group now how can a

bunch of fellas like that sound good

what are you crazy a little rhythm

vamping and you'll see how nice this

sounds listen carefully how are you

mother isn't too well since the

accident everybody ready here we

[Music]

go well that sounds pretty it's a nice

group ain't it I I we dance a little bit

too sometimes well can I just sing any

song any song whenever you're ready

we'll sing with you oh God don't follow

yeah they'll follow whatever you do

they'll

follow sometimes I'm

[Music]

[Music]

happy

[Music]

follow anything you think they'll

do sometimes I'm blue yes he's

happy yes sometimes he's happy sometimes

he's blue you can't be blue and

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

happy my

disposition depends on

you my disposition depends oning pinging

[Applause]

he

he so what can I do

o I'm happy when I'm with

[Music]

you I am so what can I do

I'm happy when

I'm happy happy happy

happy

happy I'm happy when I'm with

[Music]

you w

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

hello I'm Joan Lesley which of these two

women could be you one cleansed to face

the ordinary casual way with any soap or

cold cream but this cotton pad reveals

hidden dirt and makeup left behind by

ordinary cleansing the other cleanser

face The palom Olive Way and the pad

reveals no trace of hidden dirt proof

that her face is Palmolive clean deep

down clean yes the Palmolive way does

remove hidden dirt that robs your

complexion of beauty doctors prove you

can have a cleaner fresher complexion

the very first time you use Palmolive

soap Palmolive is so mild it lets you

clean cleaner clean deeper without

irritation prove it yourself massage

your face with gentle Palm Olive for 60

seconds rinse pat dry and test for

hidden dirt see your face is Palmolive

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Palmolive soap for a cleaner fresher

complexion

[Applause]

today ladies and

gentlemen thank you very very much we'd

also like to thank the Norman LOF choir

for doing such a wonderful job we like

to take this opportunity to thank the

producers of Damn Yankees for allowing

us to do two last souls and Ladies and

Gentlemen We would like to say a high to

little graci o Conor a wonderful little

gallon Pleasantville New York who is our

fan club president and thank you Gracie

and above all please ladies and

gentlemen remember the muscular disty

associations this entire month

firefighters All Over America will come

to your doors your neighbors will come

and call for money please give so that

135,000 doomed children will at least

have a ray of hope we certainly would

appreciate it you go now and don't

forget folks next week watch the Colgate

variet hour with the Harvest moonball

winners in Chicago and we want to wish

the best of luck to Irving cson it a

wonderful columnist in Chicago with the

Harvest Moon ball we would like also to

say that our director Mr Bob fle

producer Ary luxman Dix to be on of

Music aie Phillips and Harry Crane

everyone did a wonderful job we can only

say good night God bless you we'll see

you soon

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

la

[Music]

GS from Howard Norm by fuzzy two lost

souls from the broad weight production

Dam Yankees also seen in tonight's cast

were Isabel Elum Milton brome Byron Kane

EVN lovequist tovin Meyer Frank Mitchell

Patty Peterson and Terry Lee

[Music]