Original subtitles

[Music]

The Colgate Comedy

Hour starring Dean Martin and Jerry

Lewis with Bert

Lancaster, The

Skylarks, and Sydney

Silman. Presented by the Colgate Palm

Olive Pete Company, makers of Colgate

Dental Cream.

Palm Olive Lather Shaving

cream. New Fab. New Fab has twin

power and Palm Olive

soap. And now the Dean Martin and Jerry

Lewis show.

[Music]

Good afternoon, folks. Well, it's mighty

exciting here at P97. The Liberty has

just stopped and a large crowd is

waiting to greet two famous world

travelers after 2 months in Europe.

Wait, yes, it is. And here they are now.

Those men about Europe, Dean Martin and

Jerry Lewis.

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Uhhuh. Mr. Yes. Tell us who has

attention to us. Well, our readers know

that you are just returning here from

France. Our papers want to know if you

have made some future plans. We've heard

you've been to London, Paris, Germany,

and Rome. Will you tell us all about it?

May we sweet rob.

[Music]

We first stopped off in London. Met her

majesty the queen. And across the sea to

Ireland for the end of the green.

Then we took the boat to

Scotland for a bit of

Scottish. It's a

brok. What is this? Oh, that's Scotch.

How'd you come to it? Well, that's in

Scotland, you see. Well, how can you

talk about something if you don't know

what it means? Oh, no. I know what it's

all about, Dean. You see what's all

about it? Yeah. A brok and a nick needs

a moon lift. You see, and in Scotland

they got a bro brick moon. And I tell

you, Dean, I never my whole life saw

better bricks than I saw these moons

with bros. And

[Music]

you a lot and there's a lot we see. So

stick with us. We'll try and show you

just what we mean.

away.

Ladies and gentlemen, there's so much

Den. We'll tell you all we did. We'll

tell you all about our trip. Now, just

give this chance a kid. So many things

have happened. So many things to do. So

listen while we tell

you. And you can listen, too.

Taliho. Ty ho. We're back. Don't

know

dash

rocks up

a pot.

Hey, there's the more but the week for

[Music]

cookies.

Now everywhere we go is just a

ner from Milwaukee. Though I get they

ought to know, but it sure is great to

be home.

[Music]

Please for a while and

caviar trial

[Music]

power valley is so gay and all you have

to do is pay and pay and pay and it sure

is great to Home.

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

We got it all. You had a ball in London,

hazy, Paris, crazy,

Scotland, Rifle, Roma, service, Berlin,

nervous, women, like Hollow, London, oh,

I saw those bikinis. I never thought

with a little music.

We want to be specific. The continent's

terrific. We sure enjoy the cred. You

can vote us in your favor. That is

great. Yes, it's

[Music]

great. Hi

[Applause]

[Music]

School years, school cheers. A boy by

your side to carry your book. And you,

the girl with that schoolgirl complexion

look. You being lovely Joan Reeva of

Rice Institute. But did you know most

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Splash with cold and pat dry. In just 14

days, most women can have softer,

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complexion look. Doctors have proved it.

Prove Palm Olive's beauty plan is far

better for your skin than just average

care with any leading soap. So there's

your beauty secret. Palm Olive Soap

brings out beauty while it cleans your

skin. And remember, Palm Olive Soap is

100% mild to give you everything you

need for gentle beauty care. So get 100%

mild Palm Olive soap to help guard that

schoolgirl complexion look.

Say

ladies, ladies, does your husband suffer

from the illness known as television?

Well, all over the country, women have

been making this very same complaint.

And if it's any comfort to them, this

scene should demonstrate that they do

not suffer alone. Let's watch.

Come on, boy. Open up. Give me a left.

Come on. A left and a head. Hit him with

his left son. Come on, boy. Oh,

honestly, Gretton, I don't know what I'm

going to do with him. Look at that.

Every night he watches the fight. I cook

him the nicest dinner I know how. I get

dressed up for him. He doesn't even see

me. All he sees are those fights. Oh,

honestly, sometimes I think the dining

room table was a waste of money. Oh,

what's the use of talking about it? Come

on, honey. I've got to get his desserts.

Want hit him with a laugh. Come on,

buddy. Hit him.

Hey, boy. Come on. Left, right, right,

left, left, right. Here, darling. Here's

your dessert. I hope you like it. I just

sit right there, honey. Oh, really?

Every night with a fight, dear. Hit him.

How you like it, dear? Oh, that's

delicious. Honey, come on. You might as

well try and say good night. All right.

Oh, Paul, say good night to your child.

Good night, son. Good night.

That's your daughter. What's the

difference? A kid's a kid. Get him out

of here.

Come on, boy. That's it. Hit him left,

right, right, left. Hit him on his left.

Stop.

Williams is down. Four. Five. Get out.

And while the referee is counting, a

word from our sponsor. Middle of a

knockout.

Good evening, Frank.

May I say how happy I am to see all of

you here

tonight. I am of course as you well know

your TV appliance man and uh welcoming

you and uh asking you to be good enough

just be good enough to look upon me as a

friend as a friend. Not a salesman. Not

someone who's doing something strictly

for money but doing it for

you. Now, I'm here to ask you something

that's uh more or less personal, but

you're pretty particular people. I know

that you're good people and pretty

particular. You're particular about your

home, your food, your furnishings, and

your kids. Is that right? Well, what

about your TV

set? Are you particular about

that? Now, take a look at it. Come on.

Come on. Take a look. Is it

fuzzy? Well, if it is, believe me,

you're in for some trouble. Remember one

thing, and once you're a liar, you

become a

thief. Now, if your TV set is fuzzy,

you're due for

distortion. How's it like

that? Huh? How does that look to you?

That's pretty bad. And I'm a good-look

boy. Now, there's the answer to your

trouble right there. There it is. The

deep fuzzer. That's the baby right

there. The deep

fuzzer. Now, this is made up of three

caliber bars and a copular. And you

can't get them

today. Now, this is the thing that does

it. I get all choked up when I think

about

it. Just give me a buzz and the buzz.

Now, the number to call is Yorkshire

8831. You got that? Pudding7918.

For what? I like this kind of picture.

Oh, that looks perfectly dreadful. I

love fuzzy biters. Listen, let's not be

ridiculous. That Who's ridiculous? That

looks dreadful. But I love a dreadful

set. You know, could you install a

defuzzer for me? Be very happy to,

madam, if you're going to have to give

me your address, please. It's 317 North

Orange Drive. That's 126 Kumquat Place.

I've got it. Yes. Right away, ma'am.

Well, how long will it be? It'll be no

time at all, madam. It'll be faster than

you can say.

Filicaducha Marouch

Dala. Boom.

Tot of some service to you. Very, very

nice people. Now all there it is.

There's one. That fuzzy set. I love a

fuzzy set. It's ruining your eyes, man.

It's ruining those eyes. Nothing wrong

with my eyes. There's no reason for it.

We'll fix that set in no time and you'll

be a happy man. Oh, I think you're

absolutely right. Can you show us that

gadget that you were advertising? Is

that the little devil? Yes, that's the

one. Can you install that right away?

That's a little silly, madam. This is

only the box with screws coming. I'll

get the other thing for you right

now. You thought this is a good picture.

Look at it. It looks perfectly terrible

and you will thank me for it someday.

I'm only concerned I need your help. And

there we are.

There it is. Now just put that right

there. Now take a look. Now you've

always installed that and I'll be back

late. Thank you, ma'am. I look like the

back end of a

Cadillac. Look carefully. There's no

buzz. There's no picture. Oh, sorry.

That's because you see the instrument is

not in the proper location. Now, if

you'll just get up, boy. Stand right up

there. Good. Now, just back up. Come on.

Back right up. We'll set the set. That's

fine. Just back up just a little bit.

That's good. Back it up there. Go ahead.

Back. Back. Back. Back. Hold it right

there. Hold it. Now, take one step to

your right. Go back. You didn't say may

I hold it right there. Hold it. Let's

check this. No. Oh, we're not getting

what we need yet. I think you need the

307, the

618,

771, the ABC, and the D, 917, the 826,

the 881, and the 915. There you are. You

missed the 420. There goes my dinner

again. Oh, come back here. Give me a

stick and I'll kill him. No, no, you

don't understand. All you got to do is

work with me and we'll get the sticker

set for you. Now, just back up. Come on.

Back straight up. Oh, we're getting it

now. That's good. Back up. Back. Hold it

over to your right just a little bit.

Over. Over. Now bend down. Bend down.

Come on. Now back. Straight up. Back up.

Now come right up. Up. That's it. There.

Now we've got a perfect picture. That's

fine. Now how do

you There you are. Well, how does it

look to you now, sir? It's a little

dark. Yeah, but no fuzz, eh? No fuzz.

I'm going to get you out of jail. No,

I'm just trying to help you. You need to

get out of here. That thing can't even

watch a house in my own home. Come on,

Lefty. Do something. I want to get him

now. Right and the left. A left and a

right. Anything. Hit him with something.

Hit him with the referee and avoid. Come

on. Oh, what a fight. Ladies and

gentlemen, it's Williams with a left.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, what a fight.

The crowd is going wild. Going wild with

anticipation. Who will be the winner?

Come on, ladies and gentlemen. The crowd

is absolutely on its feet. It's Baker

with a left out with a right with

another. It's an uppercut. Baker is

dazed. There comes a right cross. Oh,

what a punch. This is the fight of the

century. And Baker is down. Three, four.

And here is a message from our friendly

co-spun. Not again.

Uh we want to say uh how are

you on behalf of the Duval School of the

Dead? I was very very happy to say

welcome to you and you could tell the

sincerity of my eyes how happy I am to

see you and uh how thrilled I am that

you're watching. And before I continue,

I do want to say hello to all of you out

there and to my very good friends from

across the seas. May I say

bisa? Now friends, I I I want

I want to ask you a

question. I just want to ask you one

simple question. Now uh you you don't

have to blow it out so everybody hears

it just for me. Can you

dad? No. I will tell the truth. If you

can't dance, you can't dance. But can

you dance? Well, it's a very terrible

thing. I know many of you out there have

trouble dancing. And I think it's a

shame. All right. It's my own personal

opinion. I think it's a shame. I should

be able to dance. There's no reason for

it. I teach you the most beautiful

dances in the world. There's no reason

why I have to go to a party. I sit in a

corner like wallpaper. No reason. And

the wide wall. Now I teach the rubber,

the saber, the kaga, the chish, the

walter, skip to blue by darling.

Anything you want to lay out there. I

remember something. You're not doing me

no favors. I'm just helping you out. I

want you to be happy. Now, if you want

to call me, the number to call and call

me quick is rumba 666. You got that? Fox

333.

I'm going to phone. Oh, no you're not. I

most certainly am going to call. Look

here, Paul Weep. If you're going to

watch television six nights a week, on

the seventh, you're going to take me

dancing. And you don't know how to

dance. So, I'm going to see that you

win. I think the woman has got very good

point. Now, we can start this right

away. All you got to do is start to

dance. Now, I tell you what, I didn't

even phone yet. I felt it by hearted me.

All right, we'll start with the rub. Are

you ready? Oh, no. Wait. I know how to

dance. It's my husband. I want you to

teach. Come on, darling. On. All right.

Thank you to get out. I can't be

bothered with visitors. All right. You

all set? Now, what would you like to

learn? How to dance? We have I don't

want to dance. No, you should dance

because we have the wonderful dances

that you could do. I don't want to

dance, buddy. I want to watch a fight.

Yeah, but I'll be in pain. Let's go.

Come on. Just one wonderful dance. Y'all

pop it out. What is it? All right. If I

dance once, would you go home? Yeah,

I'll leave. I'll teach you then. I'll

leave. All right. All right. Let's do

the the the samba. All right. Fine. Here

we go. Now, if How can we go? There's

nothing to dance to. No records, no

radio, nothing. Oh, I'll take care of

that. I have I'm always prepared and I

bring the music here.

Chico I have great deal. He's

very and I have Carlo. He's also

Carlo. Now uh this is all your small.

Would you like to hop? No, I don't want

to harp. Stay there.

All right. Now, come over here and I'll

show you the great thing you got in line

is to show enthusiasm. You've got to be

enthusiasm. Enthusiasm. Get it. Huh? Oh,

go ahead. Yeah. How you take your left

elbow, you put in your right hand, you

start the kick, you move right back. You

start the kick, you move right forward.

You start the kick, you move right back.

You turn around and start the excited.

Okay. Let's try it. Nice and

bright. There we go. Yeah. Enthusiast.

Wet. No. Wet. No. Let me jump. No. Let

me show you. No. No. Let me go. Let me

go. Wait, let me

go. Let me

[Music]

go. Here, take your skinny friend and

get out of

here. Trying to watch a fight cuz I

can't watch anything.

Come on, somebody hit somebody.

What happened to the dance instructor? I

flattened him out. They're in a clinch

now. Now they're out. Baker shoots a

left to the body. He's got his second

win now. And there it's dancing. Now

there's a left to the body and a right.

They're clinching now. They're in a

clinch. Everybody's excited, ladies and

gentlemen. It's a very wonderful fight

here. Baker's got a hit with the left

and his for the right. And now he's down

there. It's over. The decision is in.

Before we give it to you over, here's a

message from our third sponsor.

Hello, friends.

Leave this to say how happy I am to see

you here tonight. Who won the fight? I

don't know. You

see, we have some wonderful used cars.

What was the decision? We know that.

Hey, who won the fight? I don't know.

You see, our cars are are are wonderful.

Don't get smart with me, buddy. Let me

know who won the decision. You're very

rude. Now you see my room and you see my

hand. Yeah. Pick out two fingers right

there. These two. Yeah.

There. That's very funny. Now I must say

I'd like for you ladies and gentlemen to

please try to watch a fight. Will you

let me watch it? Who won the fight? I

don't know and I don't care. I have a

job to do and if you can't sit quietly I

certainly don't know what to say. You

just stick there. I'll show you what

I'll do to you. Yeah. Well, I don't care

what you show me. How do you like that?

Don't you go away. Oh, kill this man.

It's the last thing I do. All night long

trying to watch a fight. What are you

doing? What am I doing? What are you

doing? I'm going to kill this man. Put

that down. You're out of your mind. Get

away. Get away from me. Get

away. Look what you've done. It's

nothing but junk. Look at it. It's just

junk. Yeah.

Somebody stand for the junk, man.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

say, "Do you spend full time shaving and

get only a half day shave?" Oh, why

don't you shave? Why spend full time

shaving to get only a half day shave

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off your perfect shave, use the lotion

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shave. New Palm Olive after shave

lotion.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Thank you very

much. Thank you very kindly, ladies and

gentlemen. May I say this is the first

opportunity we've had to say good

evening and how very happy we are to be

starting the Colgate Palipa Pete

Company's first show season and oh we're

on to television. We want to say that

we're very very happy and it's nice to

see all of you and we're glad that you

tuned in. We would like also to make

mention of the fact that this is fab.

It's a product made by the Colgate

Palipa Pete company and on the back of

the box they put our picture. They made

sure we'd mention it and

uh they've been very wonderful to us

letting us open the season and and

giving us this kind of press. We want to

thank the Colgate people so very much.

We'd like you to buy Fab. It's a very

wonderful product. We'd like Why do you

let this me? Thank you. We would like

also to say, ladies and gentlemen, that

you know very well for those that have

followed Dean and I in the past uh two

or three years that we've been trying

very hard to help the muscular distrophe

association in their fight against this

terrible dread disease. Well, Look

Magazine has given us the biggest break

we've had so far. The October 20th issue

of Look Magazine has a story in it

entitled, "My son died a little each

day." It's about musculardrophe. I think

it will enlighten so many of you about

this terrible disease. We'd love for you

to look at it, read it, and look at

look. We'd like to say hello to little

Hela Wilner in Irvington, New Jersey,

who's a very sweet little girl who's

crippled, and we sincerely hope that

she's enjoying the

[Music]

show. Here's how the editor of a famous

magazine collects and checks information

to help you. Catherine, I'm doing an

article on washing products. I know that

in the laundry lab we've tested this new

fad, the twin power. Now, the ad says

that the greatest combination of

cleaning and whitening power in history

has been added to Fab. Is it really that

different from all the others? Yes, it

is. You'll notice we tested new Fab with

Quinn Power against all the leading

detergents. See, here we found that Fab

cleans and whitens clothes as none of

the others do. You say here that Fab

starts cleaning twice as fast. Twice.

That's right. and has up to twice the

active washing ingredient of any other

leading detergent. And that exclusive

whitening ingredient is terrific. With

or without a bleach, Fab has the best

whitening power I've ever seen. Thanks,

Beth. I can certainly tell our readers

that Fab actually has unbeatable

cleaning and whitening power. And our

tests also show Fab is milder to hands

than even leading floating soap. Even

with all that twin power, that's really

news. So get new Fab in this familiar

box. Only New Fab has twin power. That's

why New Fab cleans and whitens clothes

as no other product can.

Well, here we are, gentlemen. The best

room in the house. Well, that doesn't

look too bad. Hey, that's nice. That's

an icing room than the last room, huh?

Dean, look at the floor. What about it?

It's got one.

What do you want? I was just looking at

the room to see what it's like. You got

to be nice and cool. This opens to the

gardens. Oh, are the calillies in bloom

again? Oh, what is it with the one bed?

Yeah, when we were we wanted twin beds.

What's this? Where's the other bed? Come

on, Frisk. You want the bed or not? What

happened? Would you cut it out? This is

a nice double bed. This has an inner

spring mattress. You're going to be very

comfortable. Don't tell me about beds.

You've been using them for years.

Yeah. This is little crazy bed. Nice.

Nice. The bag is gone. It's over. Boy.

Boy. They sure to see here, buddy.

This hotel has every other convenience

to climb down. Here, here's two bucks.

Take the elevator and go up. Good. Thank

you very much. All right. How about some

toothbrush and we'll go to crush it?

Yeah, I have everything. Wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How come I

need two suitcases and you put

everything in this little thing? Oh,

well that's scientific packing, Bean. I

have as much stuff as you have. Hello. I

have as much stuff as you have. You see,

but I put it all in one bag. It's all

scientific. You just got to know how to

pack. That's all.

The the idea is when he says, "How do

you put all the stuff in one bag?" I say

it's scientific packing. And then when I

press it, everything's supposed to fly

up in the air, you see. But

unfortunately, we ran short on money

somewhere and couldn't get a spring.

I come on.

All right. I got the toothbrushes and

the pajamas. I'll bring everything in.

That's a good fit. Yeah, that's

terrific. Uh, where they working

tomorrow?

the radio.

[Music]

Attention everyone. We issue a warning

from your local police department. An

inmate named Doc Delaney has just

escaped from the observation ward of the

state institution for alcoholics.

Delaney is dangerous and is in constant

search for a small dog known as Shiva.

Delaney is 6'3, graying hair, brown

eyes, and walks around calling Shiva.

Shea, come back little Sheba. If you see

this man, please notify your local

police.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Hello Lola, it's me Doc.

Dr.

Laney, your

husband, the one who didn't get the

Oscar. Honest Lola, you're such a

slob. All right, never mind that. Now

listen to me. Now look, I'm looking for

Shiva. Shiva, our

dog. Boy, what a slug.

Shiva, come back little Shiva.

[Music]

Brush your teeth with Kate. Colgree. He

cleans your wheels. What a toothache.

While it cleans your birds,

it cleans your birds.

I'm very tired, Dean. Are you sure you

want? I'm awfully tired, Dean. Well,

what do you say we go to bed? Okay,

that's a very good idea because I have

Boy, these were nightstands. Sure are

murder, aren't they, Dean? You can bet

your bottom dollar on that.

I sure am tired. You can say that again.

You can bet your bottom dollar on that.

Boy, this sure is a tiresome night.

Yeah.

I could have sworn I took those

off. Oh well, you get carried away

sometimes, that's

all. Just never know what you're doing

from one time the

[Music]

next. Hey Dean, I got five toes on each

foot. It's a set.

Everybody has a set. Yeah. I never

noticed. They're very stunning.

Uh-huh. Well, go on. Put the light out.

Go to bed. Okay. Good night, Dean. Good

night.

[Laughter]

What?

How many feet you got? I've got two feet

like anybody else. Um, how many feet I

got? Two feet. So, how come there's six

feet in bed,

Gary? There's four feet in bed. There's

six four six four. I'll count them.

One, two, three.

Yeah, I I I guess you're right, Dean.

Yeah. Good night. Good night.

I'll put the light on for you,

Jerry. Yeah, you're right. There's six

feet in the bed. No, I just count them.

There's four. There's six. There's four.

There's six. Four. Six. Count them.

1 2 3 4 4 3 2

1 2 3 1

4 Oh, when this little kid's right, he's

right. You can spend your final dollar

on

that. Dean, Dean, Dean, look look. One,

two. Yeah. Come here. You know what that

means? Yeah. One of us is still in bed.

Let's find out whom it is. Yeah.

Cut it out, Lola.

I said it out.

You're not Lola. No. Neither am I.

What are you doing in my house? Your

house? My house? It's his house.

Oh, dangerous fellow. Humor. What? His

house. Dangerous. Humor him. Humor him.

Make believe. Put that. Yeah.

Your house. Yeah. Well, uh, where's your

nephews? Willie and Herby from

Scrattton. I'm I'm nephew Willie. And

I'm Herby. Hello, Uncle.

Willie. Herby. Scrattton. Pennsylvania.

You know, Uncle George with the bad

back. Aunt Sylvia's got the busted leg.

Yeah, I am. Now, wait a minute. Tell me.

Does Lola know you're here? Lola. Lola.

Lola.

Lola. Lola. Lola. You know,

Lola. Yeah.

She said we could stay here a couple

days. Yeah, you did. Uh-huh. Sure. Gosh.

How about that? I guess I made a

terrible mistake. Yes.

Gee, I I'm sorry, boys. Okay. Will and

Herby. Yeah. Yeah. Your nephews from

Pennsylvania. I usually don't behave

this way. You No, we didn't think you

did. You look like a very nice fella.

Dogs on my block call me gentle ducky.

Ducky. Gentle ducky.

Yeah.

I wish I could do something to show you

how sorry I am. Oh, it's all right.

Could I uh could I offer you a drink?

No. We Yes.

Yeah, if you'd like to have a drink,

it's gone. No.

Now, where did you put my butt?

Yeah. Where'd you put the guy's bottle?

I didn't touch the bottle. Yes, you did.

No, you're the only one that could have

taken it. You and Lola. And Lola

wouldn't do a thing like that. Oh, yes,

she would. I saw her take it. Yeah.

Yeah, she sold it to Tommy Weed for his

whipping.

I saw her do that.

Lola, I can't believe Lola would do a

thing like that. Yeah. Did you hear

that? What? The knock at the door. No.

Lola now. The knock at the door. Answer

it. Answer. Go ahead. The knock. Oh,

yeah. Lola. God.

No. No. Don't slam the door on my wife's

face. I thought she was

leaving. Come in, Lola, darling.

Lola. I believe you know the

boys. Well, say hello to

Lola. Uh, hi Lola. Shake your hands with

Lola. Ah, the hair. Yeah. Aha. Hia.

Cold. Cold. Lola. Warm. Warm. Hot. Hot.

Hot. That is. Oh. Hia. Lola. Take your

comy hands off my wife. I lost my hat. I

didn't know she was standing.

I am. the idea of you doing a thing like

that. I'm sorry. To this poor, gentle,

innocent woman.

Isn't she lovely? Yes. All right. Isn't

she beautiful? Yeah. Like that

pipe. Is my girl? Yeah. The girl of my

dreams.

[Music]

I do the singing here.

You see, the boys are only kidding. They

don't mean any harm. They're just little

babies. Uhhuh. You feel all right now?

You feel fine, huh? Ah, that's good.

Lola, what are you doing with that gun?

Huh? Lola, don't shoot. Look, Lola.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Take it easy, honey. Honey, it's me,

Doc. Dr. Laney, your

husband. What a

slid. You're going to get it. Oh, what a

shot. Thanks. That's all right. Luna,

what did I do? You hit her. I hit her.

Yeah. That must be out of my mind. Yeah.

I'll get her some water. You boys make a

comfortable. Yeah. I I I'm He said we

should make her comfortable. Maybe we'll

just put a pillow. Lift your head or

maybe I'll get a blanket

and what are you doing? I'm helping it.

You're laying. I think this was a

dangerous man with just humor and air.

Yeah, but he hit her. She's laying

on there. Nobody there. Not even the

cracks. Look at that. Nobody's there.

What are you nippy? Oh, this was all for

fun. Oh, we were sitting in all that.

Nothing. There's nobody really there.

It's silent.

I can step on her. Right. Right on her

face. I can step on her.

Step on the body. Break the leg. Step

on. Lola.

[Music]

You can put it together in a minute.

Pick

a Don't stretch

her face.

Gently now. Gently. Raise her head.

Higher. Higher. Can't drink this,

darling. She's unconscious. I'll bring

her, too. Yeah.

I think she feels better now.

Look, I almost missed. Yeah. Call her,

darling. Speak to me. Speak to him. I

didn't know what I was doing. He didn't

know what he was doing. I was beside

myself. He was beside himself. I'm not

well these days. He's a sick man.

Lola, please speak to me. You won't

talk, huh? You're going to be stopping,

huh? Okay, then get out. Take your Oscar

and get out.

All right, boys. Throw her up. Throw her

out. Pick her up and throw her out.

Oh, I could watch.

One, two, three, and out she goes.

Ready? All right. One.

Well, that takes care of that.

Oh, you broke the whole leg when you

threw me. You come back, little

[Music]

I knew you'd come back.

[Music]

My lap,

[Music]

you know, Shea, we all missed you. I

missed you. Lola missed you. Even Felix

the cat missed you. Didn't you, Felix?

[Music]

I

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

I ladies and gentlemen, an important

announcement.

Latest laboratory tests prove positively

that just one brushing with Colgate

dental cream removes up to 85% of decay

and odor-causing bacteria. But let's go

behind the scenes of dental research.

Let's get the facts. Doctor, what does

your study show? Look through this

microscope and see for yourself. Just

one brushing with Colgate dental cream

removes up to 85% of decay and

odorcausing bacteria. And just one

brushing with Colgates instantly stops

unpleasing breath in seven out of 10

cases that originate in the mouth. But

if you really want to stop tooth decay,

follow the Colgate way. Over a 2-year

period, scientific tests showed the

Colgate way of brushing teeth right

after eating stopped more decay for more

people than ever before reported in

Jennifer's history. X-rays showed no

cavities whatever for almost two out of

three people. Well, ladies and

gentlemen, you've heard the facts.

you've seen for yourself. And now,

doctor, would you be so good as to sum

up your findings about Colgate dental

cream?

Certainly. Only the Colgate way does all

three. Cleans your breath while it

cleans your teeth and stops most tooth

decay.

[Music]

Thank

you. Thank you very much. Ladies and

gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, we'd

like to say that Dean and I try our our

very very best to answer requests that

are written into us either through the

Colgate hour or through motion pictures

or whatever we do. And uh we'd like to

say that we've received many, many

letters from some wonderful people who

would like to know why Dean and I don't

dance too much on our shows. And we'd

like to answer that question right about

here and now. You see, dancing is not

what it used to be. Some 30 years ago,

of course, I don't remember too well,

but we have these very lovely and

charming young ladies to help us show

you just what we mean. 30 years ago,

dancing was somewhat like this. And I'll

show you just a different series of

dancing. Would you be good enough to

help me? Thank you.

[Music]

That's 30 years ago now.

That was nice and and and it's kind of

sincere and and warm and everything like

that. Well, 10 years ago, we didn't have

quite the sincerity, but we had

different types of dancing done by a

group of young people that were known as

jitterbugs. And that looked something

like this.

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

I was thankful.

Thank you. That was 10 years ago. Now

we'll show you why it's difficult to

dance. This is a young lady who looks

and typifies the young lady who would

dress and be waiting for her bow to pick

her up to take her dancing today

nowadays. And this is how they dance.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Jerry.

Jerry. Hey everybody. Well, anytime I

need him. Jerry. Jerry. Hey. Give me.

Give me. Give me. You know what you're

going to do for me now? No. You're going

to conduct the band.

[Music]

[Applause]

Well, what number, Dean? Do you happen

to know what kind of number it is? No.

Italian. It figured. Yeah. What are we

going to do? There's no tomorrow. You

conduct it. Huh? Oh, boy. Big gum drop.

Yeah, bet your bottom dollar on that.

[Music]

Love is a

flower that blooms so tender.

[Music]

of the sweet

surrender. Love is a

moment of lives

enchanting. Let's take this moment

tonight.

There's

[Music]

no now.

[Applause]

So kiss

me and hold me

tight. There's no tomorrow.

That's just tonight.

[Music]

time

that

[Music]

time of all of

you. Oh. Oh. Oh.

[Music]

I'm team Margaret and Jerry Law will be

back in just a moment.

[Music]

What a mess.

Hey,

Ajax cleans pots and pans up to twice as

easy, twice as fast. Use Ajax, the

foaming cleanser.

Cleans pots and pans just like a whisk.

Ajax cuts grease faster than any other

leading cleanser.

[Music]

When you start cleaning with Ajax, Ajax

really polishes as it cleans. So use

Ajax right down the drain.

My gosh, they're right. Foaming action

Ajax makes even the dirtiest pan shine

like new in a jiffy. So use a jack.

And it smells good,

[Music]

too. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Ladies and gentlemen, we want to say

before we say good night, please

remember MDA. They need your help very,

very badly. And don't forget next week,

ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jimmy Durant.

First time on Kogi. A wonderful man and

a great performer. So, please watch him.

How about a real cheer for a great

performer, Mr. Bert

Lancaster? Good night.

[Music]

Heat. Hey, heat. Hey,

heat. Heat. Heat.

[Music]