Original subtitles

- [whistles] - Come on!

It's picture time!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ In the Loud house, the really Loud house ♪

[thud]

[screaming]

- I know what you're saying to yourself.

How did I end up in Tennessee on a hot air balloon

with my girlfriend, my best friend,

my worst teacher, and this kid?

Like most things in my life, it all started with a plan.

And it all started about a month ago.

Clyde, who lives in Tennessee? - Your girlfriend.

- And whose birthday is on the same weekend as the debate?

- Your girlfriend. - Charlie Uggo,

the girl I haven't seen in over a year.

- That's a long time. - The girl I miss so much,

sometimes I talk to the moon and pretend she can hear me.

- Yeah, I wouldn't go wide with that.

- And now, there's a free bus driving directly to her.

- I see a plan brewing.

- We got to get on that debate team.

- But we don't know how to debate.

- Yes, we do. - No, we don't.

- Yes, we do. - No, we don't.

- Yes, we do. - No, we don't.

- Yes, we do. - You convinced me.

Let's do it. - Debate team, here we come.

[bell rings]

- You boys can't just join the debate team.

both: Yes, we can. - No, you can't.

both: Yes, we can. - No, you can't.

both: Yes, we can. - No, you can't.

both: Yes, we can.

- Congratulations, boys.

You're on the debate team.

♪ ♪

- After a month of planning,

I'm finally heading to Tennessee

to give the girl I love the surprise of her life.

[phone chiming]

And there she is right now.

Decline.

♪ ♪

You're probably wondering what that was,

besides very smooth.

I've been avoiding Charlie's phone calls for the past month

because I don't want to risk ruining my big surprise.

While I may be the man with the plan,

I'm also the man with a history of ruining surprises.

- Bye, dude. - Love you.

- Have fun in Tennessee. - Have fun watching the movie.

You're gonna love it.

The killer is the handyman.

[all protesting]

- It's different in the sequel, though.

The handyman's dead the whole time.

[all shouting]

- Well, guess we don't have to finish this movie.

- I did a poopy. It's a big one.

Who wants it? [all arguing]

- There's only one way to settle this.

- Only feed her cheese so she can't poop?

- Rock, paper, scissors, single elimination.

No lassos. No sand paper. No dynamite. On three.

Go!

[all talking at once]

[all talking and arguing]

- It's a sad day in the Loud house.

Look at you,

playing schoolyard games while your sweet little sister

sits up there with a loaded diaper.

We're a family. We're supposed to have each other's backs,

even if that back is covered in poop.

And don't think I haven't been there.

Last week, she had a blowout

that reached the top of her head.

I had to throw out

your great-grandmother's velvet chair.

Now, who's gonna do it?

[all protesting]

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

What do I say about this family?

- 11 kids was too many.

- Change the bath water every three sisters.

- Mom's pregnant again. - [coughs]

- If you lose the remote, you are the remote.

- Mom's pregnant again?

- We show up for each other.

- Oh. - Oh.

- The best part about being a Loud is,

no matter what happens, someone's always there for you.

- Dad? - Not now, sweetie!

I'm dispensing parental wisdom here.

- I will change Lily's diaper,

but I want everyone to know that

I have a deadline at the paper

so this is the last mess that I am cleaning up today.

- [softly] No, wait. Let me help.

Oh, I guess she didn't hear me. Where was I?

- You were dispensing parental wisdom.

- Oh, right. [snaps]

- Picnic basket? - Ordered and paid for.

I chose a summer sausage ensemble.

- Suit and top hat. - In the bag.

- Flowers?

- Thank you, Mrs. Pittman.

- Hey! - Ooh. Sorry, Mrs. Pittman.

- Hot air balloon? - Check.

Turns out, I only had to pay for the balloon.

They throw in the hot air for free.

And Charlie thinks she won it in a radio contest, right?

- [deep announcer voice] Congratulations, Charlie.

You just won a free hot air balloon ride,

compliments of Tennessee's number one morning DJs,

Skeeter and the Dump Truck.

- You're the best friend a guy could ask for.

- [deep announcer voice] I feel the same way about you.

I can't stop doing this voice. [clears throat]

[normally] You're really going all out

for Charlie on this one.

- Hey, I'll do anything for the girl that I love.

[phone chiming]

"Decline-er-oni."

She's gonna be so surprised.

- Lucky gal.

- Each of you is holding an envelope.

In said envelope is a specific Lily-based task

that you will carry out from this day forward.

Now, before you open them--

- What? - Ooh, I got bedtime songs.

- I gotta wipe her butt forever?

- Each task has been specifically tailored

to your unique skill sets and abilities,

so no switching.

[all arguing]

- Open the door.

Open the door! Open the door!

- Just put it next to the velvet chair.

[sighs] I am killing it today.

♪ ♪

- Where is everybody?

- Trip's canceled. - What?

- School doesn't want to pay for the team anymore,

and they said it wasn't up for debate. Kind of ironic.

- Mr. Bolhofner, I have to get to Tennessee.

Will you please take us?

- Why would I spend my weekend driving to Tennessee

with a couple of duds like you? No offense.

- You see, there's this girl. - A girl, huh?

Well, I do have a soft spot for matters of the heart.

And I guess we have the passenger van

and the permission slips.

All right. I'll do it.

both: You're the best, Mr. Bolhofner.

- I'm not gonna debate you.

both: Ah! - [laughs]

- Awesome! - Let's do it.

[upbeat music]

- You boys haven't touched your chipmunk skewers.

- No matter how I hold it, it's looking at me.

- So you're really pulling out all the stops

with this girl, huh? - She's worth it.

Long distance is tough but I'm getting pretty good at it.

The key is communication.

[phone chiming]

Nope. - [chuckles]

Mmm.

You know, I was in love once. She stole my heart.

And then she stole my TV, my couch,

and my puppy, Buttercup.

- How could she do that?

- Ah, she told me she didn't love me anymore.

And the dog hated me,

and I've been alone ever since.

- Hard to believe.

- Well, don't let my sob story turn you guys sour.

I think this hot air balloon surprise is real romantic.

I may be rough on the exterior, but deep down,

I'm a sensitive guy. Punch buggy red!

- [winces] No, sorry.

Blue! - Oof!

- The truth is, when it comes to parenting,

you never know when inspiration's gonna hit.

- I really need to get back to my article.

- The key to my parenting is tenfold.

Fold one-- - Have you ever thought about

writing any of this stuff down,

like, in a separate room?

- You mean, like, a parenting book?

That is an amazing idea. - [sighs]

[keyboard clacking]

[loud thud] - Ah. Ha-ha-ha!

OK. [clears throat]

[exhales]

Chapter one.

[clicking pen annoyingly]

I'm a pen and paper guy.

Ah.

Chapter one, mastering meal time.

- Eat 'em. - No!

- Eat your peas, Lily! - You eat the peas.

- Family dinners provide a relaxing environment

in the household.

- Brush your teeth! - Not until she eats her peas!

- No! I hate peas.

- It's bath time.

She can eat her peas and brush her teeth in the tub.

- No!

- Do you want to hear what I have so far?

Oh. I wasn't recording.

[keyboard clacking]

- [farts]

[groans]

[chuckles]

[window crank creaking] Ooh.

[inhales]

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- Surprise! Happy birthday, Charlie.

- This is the best day of my life.

And the fact that you ignored my calls for a month

makes it even better.

- Well, I am the man with the plan.

- You're my man with the plan.

[in Mr. Bolhofner's voice] Punch buggy red.

- Where are we? - We're at my ex-wife's house.

You've inspired me to believe in love again.

- You're gonna get your ex-wife back?

- No. I'm gonna get my dog back.

And you guys are gonna help me.

Put these on. - What?

- You boys are gonna create a distraction

by pretending to be vacuum cleaner salesmen. Here.

I'm gonna wear this mask of my ex-wife's face,

trick the dog into thinking I'm her,

and lure it back to the van.

- I hate to spoil what's obviously a perfect plan.

- That mask is dynamite. - Thank you.

- But I don't think we have time to do this

and make it to Tennessee in time for my surprise.

- Nope.

- If I'm not in that balloon basket

by the time my girlfriend shows up,

this whole thing falls apart. - Yep.

- I suppose you boys could just walk to Tennessee.

[dramatic music]

- Here's your mini-vac. Let's suit up.

- Bath time's done.

- Jammy time!

- Did somebody say "jammy time"?

♪ Silly Lily, time for bed ♪

♪ Silly Lily bathed and fed ♪

♪ Silly Lily's goodnight song ♪

[intense rock voice] ♪ Go to sleep ♪

- Time to brush her hair.

[pleasant music]

♪ ♪

Voilà.

- I don't like it. - Sigh.

- Who's ready for a bedtime story?

- Me.

- I'll read her a bedtime story.

- Lucy!

- There once was a baby who was running for her life.

She never made it. - I got this.

[book slams] - Sigh.

- Little Susie loved everything:

her kitty cat, ice cream, and the big, blue sky.

- Why is the sky blue?

- 'Cause it wants to be pretty. - Why?

- So it can impress the sun. - Why?

- Because the sun's super hot.

But what little Susie loved most was wishes.

And that's why, every night,

she wished upon a shooting star.

The end.

- What's a shooting star?

- Something you wish upon. The end.

- What is it really?

- I'll tell you tomorrow. - Tell me tonight!

- OK, um...

I know the answer, but I'm just going to go to the bathroom.

[chuckles]

Lisa, what is a shooting star?

I've been reading Lily bedtime stories,

and she won't stop asking me questions.

- You got book duty? I got doody duty.

There's not a star in the universe big enough

to wish away this smell.

- OK. I'm trying to wrap this up,

so can you just give me the short answer?

- A shooting star isn't actually a star.

- Great.

A shooting star isn't actually a star.

- Why? - Why?

- Because it's actually a meteor.

- Because it's actually a meteor.

- Why? - Why?

- Because 17,000 of them enter our atmosphere each year.

It's only a matter of time

till one of them slams into Earth,

ending all life on our planet as we know it.

- Got it.

Wait, what? - Hope that helps.

[dramatic music]

- [mimics explosion]

[peaceful music]

♪ ♪

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- [panting]

[laughter]

- [panting]

I can't believe we pretended to be vacuum cleaner salesmen.

- I can't believe I made a sale.

- It's a quality product.

- Nice work, boys!

Say hello to Buttercup.

[Buttercup barking]

- Chipmunk, skewer?

[Buttercup chomps]

- That's my girl.

Next stop, whatever your thing is.

Buckle up, boys.

[Buttercup barking]

- So through all my hard-earned wisdom,

I conclude...

this is the ideal beard for my book jacket photo.

Now, on to poses.

Hey, let's take some pictures.

You need to take a break, right?

Creative breaks. - [sighs]

- [clears throat]

- I don't know what you're doing with your--

- OK. Moving on.

Whoa.

[clears throat]

Oh.

- I'm on a deadline.

[clears throat]

Oh, OK.

I can't get you all in.

- Oh, well just back up a little.

- No.

I'm out of here.

- Writer's block, huh?

Yeah, that's a good idea. You know what?

We should get the good camera. [door slams]

- Hey, I need you to run downstairs

and grab me a warm glass of milk.

- I'm done with Lily duty.

- We're off Lily duty.

We're on Leni duty now.

- What's wrong with Leni?

- There's a meteor headed for Earth.

Take cover.

Another shooting star. It could happen any minute!

Now, now, or now?

- It's OK, Leni.

I'm gonna play you a bedtime song.

♪ Twinkle, twinkle ♪

- Oh, no!

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

Still waiting on that warm milk!

[guitar thuds]

[Buttercup barking]

- Are you sure that chicken wire cage is gonna hold her?

- Don't worry. Buttercup loves me.

As long as I'm here, she won't hurt you.

And we're gonna make it just in time

for your girlfriend's birthday surprise.

Ha, ha. [siren wails]

Or maybe not!

[Buttercup barks]

[siren wails]

- All right. So far, I've got you for expired plates,

using a paper plate to impersonate a woman,

assaulting an officer and then yelling "punch buggy."

- When I see a buggy, I punch.

- Well, I'm gonna have to take you downtown and book you.

- Well, there's no way we're gonna make it there on time.

I ignored Charlie's calls for 28 days.

I can't believe it's gonna end like this.

- Don't worry. I got you, buddy.

- It's called "punch buggy."

- You have to let our teacher go.

- No, I don't. - Yes, you do.

- No, I don't. - Yes, you do.

- No, I don't. - Yes, you do.

- No, I don't. - [groans]

- Whoo. - That guy's good.

- All right, enough messing around

trying to make me look like a clown.

Drop that frown, all right? We're going downtown.

- That's a lot of rhymes.

- Well, that wasn't intentional.

- Well, it was still pretty cool.

- Officer Tryber, have you ever been in love?

- [scoffs]

- I haven't seen my girlfriend in over a year.

All I want to do is see her face and

give her the best birthday surprise ever.

In the past month, I have rented out a hot air balloon,

impersonated a vacuum cleaner salesman...

- [chuckles] - Joined a debate team,

and absorbed more farts than

my great-grandma's velvet chair.

- That's right. We noticed.

- And if I don't make it to my girlfriend in time,

then that hot air balloon is gonna float away,

along with all my hopes and dreams.

I may never believe in love again.

[gentle music]

- We got a 5-0-3,

long-distance relationship in jeopardy.

Follow me. Let's get you to that girl.

- Yes!

- A plus, boys. - Whoo!

[siren wails] [engine revs]

- Good morning!

I'm going with the Van Dyke and the monocle

for the book cover. What do you think?

- Oh. [chuckles]

Sorry, I put some leftover peas in my ears

so I could get this thing finished.

- Thoughts?

- Lose the monocle.

- I can't. It's glued in.

The fumes are really starting to dry out my eyeball.

Anyway, I mean, the book cover's the first thing

that people look at.

[keyboard clacking]

[muffled dialogue]

Is it a firm no on the monocle?

I mean, I really want to get this right.

[keyboard clacking]

- Mm, I--I agree.

You're a great dad. The kids say so all the time.

- The kids. That's it!

I have to have the kids with me on the book cover

to show that I'm the best dad.

Show, don't tell. It's the first rule of writing.

Kids!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Go, get her, kid.

Whew. Keep it together, Trevor. [groans]

♪ ♪

- The egg is in the basket.

I'm the egg, and the basket is the basket.

- The bird is heading for the egg.

Charlie's the bird. You're the egg.

- I can't believe you won this for us.

You're the best girlfriend ever.

- The bird is flying with another bird,

a handsome bird.

Lincoln, there's a complication!

- I know. I left the picnic basket in the van.

[tense music]

- Oh, no.

The dog has left the van.

- Who's the dog?

Am I the van or the basket?

Never mind. She's here.

Surprise! Happy birthday, Charlie.

- Lincoln? - That's right.

I faked a radio contest and got you a hot air balloon ride

for your birthday.

Who's the best boyfriend in the world?

And who's this?

Are you the dog?

- I've been trying to get ahold of you for a month.

- I know! I've been ignoring your calls

because I didn't want to ruin my big surprise.

You know I can't keep a secret.

Is this your brother?

- No, Lincoln.

- Cousin? Friend?

Colleague? Neighbor.

- [sighs]

This is my boyfriend, Marcus.

I'm sorry, Lincoln.

That's why I've been trying to call you.

- Boyfriend?

That is awesome.

Well, then, I guess I will bid you adieu.

[somber music]

Oh.

When you fly over the south part of town,

you're gonna see a cornfield that has

"Lincoln and Charlie forever" carved into the crops.

So...enjoy that.

- Buttercup is loose! Buttercup is loose!

[Buttercup barking] - [screaming]

My ex-wife was right. That dog hates me!

[Buttercup barking]

- Hey, no!

all: No, no, no!

[all screaming]

- Stay calm, people. Stay calm!

[all screaming]

[wind whistling]

- Clyde, you remember Charlie. - Hey.

- This is her boyfriend, Marcus.

- What's up?

- [whispers] This might be the worst day of my life.

- [whispers] It'll all be over soon.

- According to my coordinates and wind speed,

looks like we'll be up here for another 4 and 1/2 hours.

[awkward music]

♪ ♪

- So, how did you two meet?

- OK, everybody, line up. Cutest ones up front.

Where are Leni, Luna, and Luan?

- ♪ Twinkle, twinkle, shooting star ♪

- Where have you guys been? - She's been having a--

- We got to get this photo just right. Here we go.

- OK, OK. Let's get this over with.

[camera shutter snaps] - Shooting star!

- OK, what's going on with Leni?

- It's Lisa's fault.

- Yeah, she scared her. - Science scared her.

- You should have let me finish my dead baby story.

[all arguing]

- It was Lily duty. It was a disaster.

[all arguing]

- OK, come on. Let's do this.

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Where--where's Lincoln?

[phone ringing]

I'm on my way.

Mr. Bolhofner said that the balloon's landing

somewhere near Springfield in the next hour.

- Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?

- No, you stay here and write your article.

At least we'll have one writer in the family.

- Don't be so hard on yourself.

- Well, it's just, my whole Lily idea was a disaster.

And I didn't even know my one and only son

was in another state, having his heart broken.

I shouldn't be giving parenting advice to anybody.

- Hey, I'm sure there are plenty of great tips in here.

Did you just practice your signature on every page?

- I couldn't think of anything.

[door opens]

[door closes]

Me, writing a book? What was I thinking?

Hey, what's going on?

- Our little brother got his heart broken,

and we're gonna be there for him.

- In this family, we show up for each other.

- You taught us that.

- Aw.

Get in here.

[laughter]

You guys are the best.

- Wait up.

I can write the rest of this in the car.

[all chattering]

- Hey.

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- Goodbye, Charlie.

- Tough one, buddy.

- You boys still owe me homework on Monday.

both: No, we don't. - Yes, you do.

both: No, we don't. - Yes, you do.

both: No, we don't.

- Oh, whatever.

[horn honks]

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, there he is.

[all chattering]

- Everybody's asleep. [sighs]

Even Leni. - Oh, Leni.

Well, I decided I'm not gonna write my parenting book.

But I did write one thing I'm proud of.

- "To my beautiful wife, Rita,

the best 'riter' and best mother I know."

Oh, honey. You misspelled "writer."

- [sighs]

Maybe I'll do a podcast.

♪ ♪

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