Original subtitles

And that was Adam Charles with his breakout hit, Tequila Talking. That

his rise to stardom. Now nominated for multiple CMAs, including single, male

vocalist, and entertainer.

Hey. Good morning.

Oh, you got it. Yeah, you too.

Smells good.

Hey.

Thank you.

I got nothing stronger.

What, are you day drinking now?

Well, I'm weighing my options.

Shit.

Jesus.

You should see the other guy.

This isn't a joke.

I know.

Know what?

How did you... Tabloids called me this morning for a statement. The label is

very concerned.

We were attacked.

We have to get ahead of this.

What's this?

Mexico? All expenses paid. You're welcome.

Okay.

Stephanie Stevens will be there? You mean the train wreck?

See, this is a win -win.

You'll help her revamp her image.

She'll help you with... People will eat up the sexy photos. No one will expect

it to last and everything will go back to normal.

No.

This is how it works.

The label pours millions into your career. They want to protect their

investment. Yeah.

And what am I supposed to do after, huh?

Get a girlfriend.

Well, you wouldn't be the first.

Thanks for stopping by, Jolene.

Adam, we'll consider your generous offer.

And get back to...

Let's

cut the bullshit, Adam.

You wanted to play in the big leagues. Well, now you are.

People don't give a shit what you do behind closed doors, but they don't want

shoved in their face.

Call me when you figure it out.

Bye -bye.

She believed the stones on her?

And your label?

I mean, how heartless can they be to pull that kind of shit after what was it

went through?

She's right.

What?

You know, I was just fooling myself thinking any of this could have been

different. No, no, no.

You promised.

I just need that number one.

But this, hey, this is number three.

Yeah. And you see, this is not good enough.

Why does it always have to be on me anyway, huh?

You knew what you were getting yourself into when we started this. But that was

a long time ago.

How much longer, huh?

Weeks?

Months?

Years? Things are changing.

We just need to be a little bit more... A little more what?

Miserable?

Ashamed?

Afraid to walk out on the street?

Hiding who you... Hiding who you really are.

And for what?

Backward Hicks might accept you someday.

This is my career. Do you even hear yourself? Me? My career?

Adam, we got beat up because we're gay.

What about us?

You know what's good?

We should just release the footage online.

What?

It was you? I didn't know that was going to happen, okay? I just thought that

maybe... Matthew, why would you do that? That maybe we could have a life.

Country music would just have to deal with it.

Oh my God, their superstar is a big homo. Don't.

What? You don't like that word?

Homo?

Homo?

Homo. Don't call me that. Adam, it's what you are.

It's just because you can go out on stage and play pretend.

It doesn't change that.

Not for a second.

And you could do so much good right now.

So much good.

But just being honest.

You don't get it.

You screwed up!

But you know what?

I'm glad.

Because what I didn't realize up until now is how much of a coward you really

are.

Because you won't even fight for us.

I'm trying not to think about you think about you now

and I'd be lying if I said

that I didn't want to think about you think about you now

cause when I'm wide awake I

don't know how

Yeah, I know.

Me?

Yeah, so well.

It's calm.

It's very strong.

Can I get a small bottle of light?

Yeah.

Mm. Mm.

On how he wants to sound?

On Jesus' birthday?

Or on us?

On us is good.

I thought he was getting older.

Why?

It's usually like that.

You're older than 20, right?

Do you think that's bad?

No.

Why are you lying about that?

Because you're better for you.

If you think you like a teenager.

I'm going to get a pizza.

Philippe, I'm going to get someone to bring me a pizza.

How long has the vent been in the room?

Three days.

I'm sure there's no one else these days.

No, no, no, no.

I'll call back myself.

But give me a kiss.

Okay?

Okay.

Yes.

Say, Charlotte.

I'm proud of you.

Yes, I say that too little.

Yeah.

Me too.

It's always a Christmas party.

Kisses.

Bye.

Say, if you still have plans for tonight, then... ...you can go on.

It makes me want to stay here.

I'm here now too.

I can't find you anywhere else.

NSA, BNP, MASC, FEM, CHEMS.

It's a world of codes, isn't it? A world with its own private language and its

own private dialect of wants and needs.

But I think the terminology itself can be loaded, you know.

Like I know for some people, the NSA thing, like the no strings thing,

something that's impersonal.

Like there's no emotions or there's no real intimacy involved.

But some of my most intimate experiences have been with casual hookups.

With strangers, even.

And people really have revealed some seriously surprising

and honest things to me, you know.

And I've made my own confessions too.

In return.

He still lives here, doesn't he?

And my dad?

Well... Actually, he died.

Just before Christmas.

Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry.

That's okay.

He's been sick a while.

He had emphysema.

It gets intense.

It's a bit like watching someone slowly drown in their own body or something.

You know what's weird?

The whole thing made us closer.

There's always been this kind of awkwardness.

In the last few months, he became pretty dependent on me.

Obviously, it was pretty difficult, but there was something really,

really nice about it too.

I never really realized how dark it was.

It's into humor.

In the end though, and it is fucked up to say, but in the end I just hope that

it'll be over quicker.

And when it finally does happen, it almost doesn't feel real.

It's fucked up to say, but you feel relieved.

You feel like you can finally breathe again.

You apologize a lot, do you know that?

Do I?

I'm sorry.

I'm still just laying here like this.

I always find that weird going there when they're, like, not kissing, not

cuddling.

Do you meet, like, a lot of fellas off going there, or...? I go through phases.

There was a period I was going home a lot, like three or four times a week.

You do end up with some weird ones, though.

Like older, married?

Young, old, married.

I'm a bit of a slow, what can I say?

And you can kind of tell.

The ones that get creepy or aggressive.

But sometimes I'm just like, fuck it.

Some of my mates even ask me if I'm attracted to them, and I'm like, no, not

really.

But they're attracted to me.

And I think that's what turns me on.

It's the knowing they want me.

Or they're being wanted, I suppose.

Where is home?

I don't know.

I don't really think of Brazil as home anymore.

It's been a long time now.

When I was a kid, I lived with my mom and my dad in this tiny little

It was very close to a river. One night when I was sleeping with my mom in her

bed, my dad, he set the place on fire.

He wanted to do it. What is it? A murder, suicide, or something like that.

They sent him to prison after that.

My mom, she, well, she died.

I only remember little bits of her now.

At the time, I don't think I really understood what it all meant.

My mom, she was gone, and then I was mourning her.

But my dad, suddenly, he was gone too.

Kind of crazy, isn't it?

I had to mourn both of them.

My mom and my dad.

The men who killed her.

He looked like little mountain rangers.

Yeah.

I think he started when I was like 13.

I guess I kind of...

started because um it gave me this feeling of control you know

when people did stuff or when people hurt me it was

like it's like they could control how i was feeling but if i did it to myself

then it was it was me you know it was me in control

i used to hate

them like i used to try and them up and stuff all the time but um i i actually

kind of like them now you know they're they're like a reminder i guess i don't

know they're they're like a map you know they just show my journey from

you know where i came from

There's something about that calmness that comes after the sex.

And maybe, I don't know, the fact that you probably won't ever see each other

again, that really allows you to let your guard down, to be vulnerable

with each other, I suppose.

To be honest, like, much more than the sex, it's these moments after that I

always find myself craving.

These days, it just feels like...

One big tangle of faces and names and bodies in bedrooms.

But you ask me, what is it about these encounters that I find so appealing?

Besides, obviously, getting to be a huge whore.

But no, I don't know if there's one clear answer.

Like, at one point, I might have said it's kind of anthropological.

Like, you get a glimpse into another person's inner life for a few quick

And if you'd asked me another time, though, I might have said that it's a

experience intimacy without the emotional risks involved in commitment.

But, I don't know, like, I mean, there's a different shade of loneliness, isn't

there?

There's that kind of loneliness you can feel even when you're around people,

like when you have good mates or a family.

Even when you're in a stable, seemingly healthy relationship.

I don't know.

Maybe it's just a way to feel close to another person.

To have a little company for a little while.

Like a little holiday from yourself.

Maybe it doesn't need to be much more complicated than that.

Thank you.

Yes, this is Jasper. Can you call me back?

Subtitled by Grethel Trejo

That's what I thought.

I have to go home.

No.

I'm going to pick you up.

I just wanted

to

do that.

Why?

And I'm leaving.

Yes.

I can go somewhere.

You have to get rid of the victim at that moment.

I'd rather get rid of the victim.

So if I leave now, then I'll never see you again.

I'm not going with you.

Fucking drama.

Yes.

I'm trying to talk to you.