Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[FATHER SIGHS]

[EXCLAIMING IN ANNOYANCE]

[UTENSILS CLATTERING]

Honey, it's family hour,

there must be something on.

DAUGHTER: Oh, wow, Candied Critters!

[FATHER EXCLAIMS]

Oh, Great. It's Monsters, our favorite show!

[MONSTROUS LAUGH]

[SHUSHING]

It's starting.

[MONSTROUS LAUGH]

[FATHER CHUCKLES]

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

MRS. BARTON: Don't you ever look cross on Reverend Jenkins, young man.

He's a fine man, and he's welcome here anytime.

And don't you slam that door.

[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]

ROY: I don't think kids should have to live

with grown-ups.

Just because they happen to be your parents.

If it had been up to me,

I would've lived all by myself and locked all the doors,

on the inside.

"Drop me in water and watch me grow."

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

MRS. BARTON: Roy! I want those clothes washed this afternoon.

Put my red blouse into the colored clothes.

Reverend likes my red blouse. I'll wear it tonight.

Okay, Mom.

MRS. BARTON: Barbie.

Go down and see what that brat

of a brother of yours is up to.

Roy.

You were supposed to bring up the sun umbrella.

I forgot.

You are such a twit.

That's Mom's.

You're not supposed to drink her homemade wine.

Wine puts color in my cheeks, and you better not squeal.

Why does she bother making this stuff?

I think I could be a model, don't you?

Well?

Do you think I could be a model or what?

I guess so.

Just because I got all the looks in the family

you don't have to be jealous.

Roy. Look at me.

Don't you think I look like Cybill Shepherd?

Who?

Did you put Mom's red blouse in there?

Yeah.

She loves that red blouse, Weedhead,

you better not wreck it.

You better not make her mad.

I'm not gonna make her mad.

You got this bogus town, and this dorky train

and you never even notice my new sandals.

What's this supposed to be?

It's a stegosaurus.

You are so lame.

[BUBBLING]

What was that?

You ruined my stegosaurus.

Don't tell anyone you're my brother

when you hit Junior High next year. I'd die.

[BURPING]

Stop it.

That's really gross and juvenile.

MRS. BARTON: Roy, I want you to wash the car this afternoon.

Did you put the laundry in?

Barbie.

Tell Roy to bring up the sun umbrella.

I'm bringing it up. Roy doesn't want to.

I'll do it.

Don't tell her I didn't want to.

You're afraid of making her, mad?

You're such a flea-bite.

Maybe I am.

Maybe I am just a flea-bite.

SWLABR: Think she's a flea-bite.

Who said that?

You got any more Lick'em Up?

[SLURPING]

Ah.

Wow.

This is great.

And nothing like you has ever happened to me before.

Wow.

Mmm. Yum, Lick'em Up.

When you drink, is that when you get bigger?

Yeah. I gotta drink to the brink, till I hit full size.

How big is that?

I don't know.

Are you the regular prize in a cereal box?

Or you just a special prize?

I'm a Swlabr.

I was dehydrated.

Oh.

I could Lick'em Up an ocean.

Are we by the ocean here?

No, this is Kansas.

Just my luck.

I'm sorry.

Not your trip-up.

Chance you take, when you travel in cereal boxes.

What'cha got?

My train.

My dad gave it to me.

See this is a town I built. There's just dinosaurs in it.

No girls. No moms.

[SWLABR LAUGHS]

I gotta lift these up myself.

Just until I save enough money to buy an electric switcher.

I make the whistle sounds myself.

All aboard.

[IMITATING TRAIN WHISTLING]

[SWLABR LAUGHS]

Did you say your name was Chabber?

Swlabr.

See the dinosaurs like this town all to themselves.

And they talk about how good this town is,

without anybody in it but them.

How if anyone comes into their town,

they'll eat 'em, and mash 'em, and gobble 'em up,

[LAUGHS]

Right now,

they can go anywhere they want to,

anytime, and no one tells them what to do.

Who's that?

ROY: It's a boy.

The dinosaurs like him.

What's he doing?

He's waiting for his friend.

Where is his friend?

I haven't made him yet.

He doesn't have a friend yet.

MRS. BARTON: Roy! [SWLABR EXCLAIMS]

I want a Raspberry diet soda.

And bring be a chocolate pecan ice-cream sandwich with it.

Is that a mother?

[SWLABR LAUGHS]

That's my mother.

SWLABR: You got a dad too?

He left.

Five years ago.

I don't know where he is.

He send me post cards, though.

He sends them to my school, so my mom doesn't see them.

Always from a different place.

Do all Swlabrs live in cereal boxes?

Some of us.

You're not gonna leave are you?

I mean, when I get back, you'll be here, right?

I was in your cereal box, I guess I'll stick around.

I'll be right back.

[DOOR SHUTS]

Ah!

Lick'em Up. Lick'em Up.

[SLURPING]

Yuck! [EXCLAIMS]

Aah!

[SLURPING]

Aah!

[BURPS]

You're still here.

What's this good Lick'em Up?

It's my mom's homemade dandelion wine?

Every summer, all day long, I pick dandelions for her.

Better not drink it.

She'd get mad.

Roy.

[EXCLAIMS]

My sister. Don't let her see you.

BARBIE: Roy, Mom says to bring me

a grapefruit drink and a candy bar.

MRS. BARTON: And a jar of pickles.

And a jar of pickles.

Shh!

You need to learn to stand up for yourself.

Oh, no.

I don't do anything to make my mom mad.

You don't know what she's like, when she's mad.

Don't go away.

Dandelion wine.

Aah. Good.

Whoa!

Oh, no.

Swlabr.

Roy, my boy.

Let's go outside and see the big wide world.

[HICCUPING]

No, I have to stay around the house in case

my mom wants me to do something.

I don't even go outside to play.

[BUZZER SOUNDING]

What's that?

The washing machine.

MRS. BARTON: Roy.

Er, yeah, Mom.

MRS. BARTON: Was that the washing machine?

I'm coming down to stretch my red blouse.

Put it on a hanger for me.

Come on, you better hide.

Quick. I don't want her to see you.

SWLABR: Whoa, whoa.

Stay in the tool closet.

Dark in there.

Oh, no.

MRS. BARTON: Here I come.

What's wrong?

ROY: Hide, quick.

Roy.

Get me another ice cream sandwich.

Reverend Jenkins is coming to take Barbie and me

at 6 'o clock to the charity dance.

I want you to clean the bathroom with a toothbrush while we're gone.

Where's my blouse? I told you to put it on a hanger.

SWLABR: Why don't you get on your broom and fly away?

What did you say?

Nothing.

SWLABR: Who does your hair?

Fredrick of Fright Street?

Any more smart talk young man,

you'll be licking up the kitchen floor.

I didn't say anything. Must be a TV on or something.

Swlabr, be quiet.

The TV isn't on.

Don't try to waggle out of this, young man,

I hope you wear a bag over your head in public.

Shut up.

Did you tell me to shut up?

No. Don't get mad, Mom.

What are you holding behind your back?

[EXCLAIMS] My blouse.

Don't get mad, Mom.

[IN DISGUST] Ugh!

He did it.

Roy did that to your blouse.

No. You did the laundry.

Oh!

It wasn't me, Mom.

Oh, you're gonna rue this day.

Aw, quit picking on the kid, you old bag of wind.

Shut up.

Come here, young man.

You insolent little bag of bones.

You think you can talk to your mother like that.

Well, think again.

Every word that comes out of that mouth, will cost you.

From now on,

No.

That's one word.

Please don't. That's two words.

Two stupid little lumps of foil.

Let me crush one, Mom.

Well?

[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Now bring me another chocolate pecan sandwich.

Me too.

Don't worry, Roy. This is gonna stop.

[HUMMING]

Swalbr, what are you doing?

MRS. BARTON: Roy, what's that noise?

I gotta bring them ice cream sandwiches.

They've got legs that walk.

Let them get their own.

MRS. BARTON: Roy, ice-cream.

Now.

Coming.

Let them come to us.

[HUMMING]

MRS. BARTON: And stop that noise.

I need Lick'em Up.

You're thirsty?

Lick'em Up makes me strong.

Roy, where's the ice cream?

SWLABR: Put a sock in it, fat mouth.

What did you say?

Nothing.

You stay where you are, you ungrateful little wag,

I'm coming down.

She'll ruin all my dinosaurs.

I'm not gonna let her touch my triceratops,

my diplodocus, my plateosaurus my tyrannosaurus.

[LAUGHS]

Swlabr, what are you doing?

We'll get them tripped up and tangled up.

No, you'll just make her madder.

Swlabr, hide.

What are you doing, Roy?

Nothing.

Were you planning on tripping up your mother and your sister?

I bet he was.

No.

You're getting a little too,

too big for your britches, young man.

SWLABR: Just because you're too big for yours, large bottom.

Who said that?

Roy's throwing his voice.

Guess again, girlie. [LAUGHS]

What was that?

Was it a big rat?

Roy Haverston Edward Barton,

do you have a puppy down here?

No.

I told you, no dogs, no cats, no turtles, no gerbils.

It's not a puppy.

There it is.

You want me to pluck out

the hairs on your puppy, one by one?

It's not a puppy.

It's my friend Swlabr.

You don't have any friends.

[BARKING]

It's a puppy.

[PANTING]

You're not gonna eat for ten years, young man.

Mom, if you just leave him alone,

I'll explain everything.

I don't want any explanations. I just want your hide.

You are gonna clean out the garage twice a week.

Wash the car every day.

Make my coffee, dial my telephone calls,

smile at Reverend Jenkins.

And hand-pick up every piece of lint

off the living room carpet.

And this train town is going.

You can't take away my train town.

No more train town.

You're just like your father.

You think you don't have to take orders from me.

[LAUGHING] I'm the boss around here.

[BARKING]

Now you stay put while I take care of your doggy.

Mom, what're you gonna do?

I'm gonna spray the little critter out of his hiding place.

It's curtains for your mangy mutt.

Aha.

[BARBIE SCREAMING]

It's attacking me.

Swlabr, be careful.

Don't make her mad.

Where'd he go?

I don't know.

Barbie, where did the little critter, go?

BARBIE: I don't know.

[CLATTERING]

[SARCASTICALLY] Oh, you don't know, Roy?

Is that what you said?

You don't know if the little four legged

troublemaker is in the tool closet.

I don't think he's there.

Then you won't mind if I spray some water in the tool closet.

To drown the nothing that's in there, just to be sure.

Take that little puppy.

I heard it. It's in there.

Don't do that.

Oh, hold still, Roy. Take that.

And that.

[SCREAMING]

That ought to do it.

I don't hear anything.

Swlabr, are you all right?

Barbie, open the door and see if there's any ruff ruffs

left in little Rover.

March.

[GASPS IN SURPRISE]

[SCREAMING]

Mom, ow, yuck.

I'm all sticky.

SWLABR: Mmm. Good Lick'em Up.

Who's in there?

He's a Swlabr and he's my friend.

I told you. You can't have any friends.

My son does not have friends over. Now beat it.

SWLABR: [OMINOUSLY] Try and make me.

Hi.

Agh!

Yuck.

ROY: We figured Swlabr hit his full size

when Mom was spraying him.

He still drinks a lot.

But he doesn't seem to be growing any more.

I better keep him away from the wine.

He's got a friend now.

Good friend.

Good Lick'em Up.

Yeah.

I think I got a really good friend.

All aboard.

[IMITATING TRAIN CHUGGING]

[IMITATING TRAIN WHISTLING]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]