All language subtitles for Happys Place s02e16 AI-AI-No.eng

- OK, I just want
to say something

before Steve comes in here
with the weekly numbers.

- You have the floor.

You're wearing it out,
but you have it.

- I just want to remind us
that we said it would take time

for the speakeasy gets going,
you know?

- I remember.
- Mm-hmm.

- 'Cause I said it.

- And it's only
been open a week.

- [chuckles] And look at
the fun we're having already.

[knock at door]

- I finished my report.

- Wait.
Do I have time to throw up?

- No, because if you throw up,
then I'll have to throw up.

- No, no, no, no.

- She's a little nervous.

- OK, then let me
just get to it.

The speakeasy did...

OK.

- OK?

Is that good?

I got a haircut once,
and my mom said it looked OK.

Then she bought me a hat.

- We lost a little money.

- Look, I'm sorry.

I promise
I'll make it up next week.

- Oh, honey, that's so sweet.

And also impossible.

- I believe in your vision.

And if it'll make
you feel any better,

I could maybe look around
for some savings.

- Are you talking about one
of your famous poke-arounds?

- What's a poke-around?

- It's when I scour the tavern.

It's kind of like cleaning,

but instead of
looking for dirt,

I'm looking for money.

- He's great at it.

It's one of the benefits
of having an accountant

that's also a financial genius.

- I wouldn't call myself
a genius.

But you did, so yeah.

- [laughs] Great.

Oh, and while
you're doing that,

I'll talk to some of
our suppliers,

see if we can
get some discounts.

- Great, and while you guys
are doing that,

I could sell my plasma.

- You'd get more for a kidney.

What?
I'm a financial genius.

- ? Sometimes it feels
like a big ol' fight ?

? To get through the day ?

? And sleep on
through the night ?

? But here
you'll find a place ?

? That'll surely
lift your spirits ?

? You belong
at Happy's Place ?

- Oh, Steve, you are never
going to believe what

Tall Cathy said last night-

- Gabby, I must stop you.

Even though I love gossip
and Tall Cathy is a mess...

- [whispers] Yes.

- I can't.
I'm doing a poke-around.

- [gasps] How exciting!

You haven't done one
of those in a while.

Takoda, Steve is doing
a poke-around.

- Ooh, fun.

Has he found anything?

- Oh, not yet,
but he's got that look.

He is on to something.

- Gabby, after you've used the
orange peels for garnishes,

what happens to the fruit?

- Take it out back
and I whack it

with that golf club
I found in the dumpster.

Just-

[pops lips]

- What you're whacking
is money.

I'd like you
to start juicing these.

Then we can cut back
on our costs

for orange juice
for the mimosas.

- Steve, how do you keep

finding stuff
after all these years?

- Eh, it's a gift,
but it's still not enough.

- Ooh, check my side work.
Maybe there's something here.

- Move.

- Hey!

- Uh-huh.

Do you remember when Bobbie
had you come in

to refinish the tabletops?

- Where is he going with this?

- If I'm not mistaken, Takoda,

you used Dr. Orville's
Clear Gloss Varnish, right?

- For a finish
that you can trust.

- So let's trust it.

Ditch the coasters.

- I'm not picking those up.

- I'll get them later.

[sighs]
But it's still not enough.

It's just peanuts!

And I've already got rid
of the peanuts!

- Too bad there's not someone

who could do your savings magic
on you.

- Oh, that's right, Steve.
You need a you.

- There's still money
to be found.

To the basement!

- Watch out for spiders.

- Not to the basement.

[upbeat music]

- Hey, have you ever been
to a music venue

called the Open Court?

- Why?
What have you heard?

Because they didn't
throw me out.

I left on my own.

In the company of bouncers.

- OK, well, Monica sent me
a text about a blues festival

they're having there
next weekend.

- Hmm.
- Looks like a good time, huh?

- Yeah.

Oh, wait- I'm sorry, wait.

Uh, so when did
she send you that text?

- Uh, couple hours ago.

- Uh-huh. And?

- And what?

- Well, when are you
gonna text her back?

- I'm not.

- Emmett, so you don't want
to go to the festival?

- What?
No, I do.

I'm gonna see her Wednesday,
so I'll just tell her then.

- You're going
to leave that woman in the dark

for three days not knowing
what's up and what's down?

- [sighs]

I didn't think about it
like that.

- Yeah.

Let me explain this to you

in a way I think that
you're going to understand.

Texting is like ping-pong.

You wouldn't
not hit a ball back, right?

So you just got a ping,

and now,
it is your turn to pong.

- That actually makes sense.
- Mm.

- All right,
I'm gonna go pong her.

- Maybe we don't say it
like that.

? ?

- OK, ladies.

Happy's Place has officially
been poked around.

You are gonna want
to stand up for this.

- Isn't the expression

"you're gonna want
to sit down for this?"

- You can't give someone
a standing ovation

if you're sitting down.

- Wait, are-
are you saying you found enough

to cover the speakeasy losses
for the week?

- Oh, honey, I found enough
to cover the speakeasy losses

for a year.

- Oh, honey! Are you serious?

Have I told you that
I love you more than anyone

in the whole wide world?

- Like I said, the man can find
a dime hiding inside a nickel.

- Mm.

- But really, I didn't think
there was a lot left to cut.

- Not really.
Nothing small.

That's why on this poke-around,
I went big.

- [sighs]
Listen to him, "I went big."

He's amazing.

I love him more than anyone
in the whole wide world.

- Well,
don't keep us in suspense.

What's this big way
to cut the budget?

- You

are going

to fire me!

? ?

.

- So you want me to save money

by firing the man
who saves me money?

That's such a bad idea,
I ought to fire you for it.

- Bobbie, the only place the
poke-around hasn't poked around

is with me.

- Oh, sweet Steve.

Offering to sacrifice himself

to keep me from
feeling like a failure.

- No.
I mean, I like you, but-

- So why are you saying this?

- Because this is a move

the tavern will eventually
have to make.

I've been tracking
this revolution for a while.

- What revolution?

- AI.

- AI?

The thing that made the video

of the Pope
dunking a basketball?

- [laughing]
Oh, I saw that-

- There are new
AI accounting models

that can do everything I do.

- Not interested.

I'm not walking in here
and seeing a computer

sitting in your chair
putting on hand sanitizer.

- You pay me to give you
good financial advice,

and that's what this is.

You have to let me show you
what's available

and you have to consider it.
- Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

- Is he serious?

- With money,
Steve's always serious.

Fortunately, this time,
he's also full of crap.

There's no way a computer can
do what he does around here.

- Well, apparently,
Steve thinks it can.

So what are we gonna do?

- Oh, honey.

Then I guess
we're just going to have to

find a way to prove him wrong.

- Hey, Gabby. [sighs]
- Hey.

- Thanks again
for helping me out earlier.

I, uh, texted Monica back and

I feel pretty good about it.

- Aw, well, it is thanks enough
just seeing that little smile

peeking through the bushes
of your goatee.

- Ah.

- So what'd you text her?

- "Sounds good."

- Oh.

OK, um-

[chuckling] Mm.

Uh, I mean, you used
some fun punctuation, right?

- I did.
I put a period at the end.

- Wow.
[chuckles] OK.

OK, OK, OK.

Oh, Emmett!

It is like you
basically just told her

to go straight to hell.

- What?
No, I didn't.

- Emmett.

In person, your dispassionate
grunts possess a certain charm.

In text,

you're a psychopath.

- I can't change
the kind of guy I am, Gabby.

I'm not a words guy.

- Of course.

You know, what?
And you don't have to be.

You can be an emojis guy.

- No, I don't think so.

I barely know what those are.

- "Emoji" comes from the Latin
derivative "emote"

because they express
emote-ions.

OK.

So what do you want to express
to Monica?

- [sighs] I don't know.

Uh, I like blues

and I don't want her
to go straight to hell.

- [chuckling]
Mm, easy.

I am thinking that we do-

not now!

Um...

yellow heart,

little guy with a guitar,

and ice cube emoji.

- All right.
You're the expert.

- Well, I really am.

I don't wanna brag,

but I have not been texted back
hundreds of times.

[notification chimes]

Oh, what'd she say?

- Uh, looks like a little man
with frostbite

and a sloppy guy
with his tongue hanging out.

Is that, uh-is that good?

- Oh, Emmett.

It's great.

? ?

.

- I don't understand.

You told Steve
you didn't want to use

the AI program he showed you,
but you bought it anyway?

- No, they let you
try it for free.

Because they think one taste,
and you'll be hooked.

Kind of like with pretzels.

- Dang, now I want pretzels.

So how are we going to prove to
Steve that he's better than it?

- Well, he saved us a ton
on last year's taxes.

Let's see what
AI would have saved us.

- OK.
Where's our financial file?

- OK.

That file right there,
the one that says Dog Pictures.

- Quick question.

Why is it labeled Dog Pictures?

- Security.

If someone hacks my computer,

they're not going to open a
folder that says Dog Pictures.

- Well, unless they like dogs.

- Click on it.
What's it say now?

- Cat Pictures.

- Yeah, if someone likes dogs,

they're not gonna want to be
seeing a bunch of cat pictures.

I thought this through,
Isabella.

- Game over, hackers.

- There you go.
- Psh, yeah.

- [chuckles]
- OK. Uh, our financial file.

- OK.

Now, open the AI minion
from hell.

- You know, this looks
pretty simple to do.

Very user-friendly.
- Mm-hmm.

- Hello there.

I'm the Money Fairy.

- It talks like a person.

I thought it would...

[imitates robot]
Sound like this when it talked.

- Are we ready to get started?
Please, input your files.

- OK. It looks like
I put the spreadsheet in here.

- That's correct.
You're doing great.

- Aw. Well, thank you.

- Stop eating the pretzels.

- Task received.
Thanks.

- You bet.

Good luck.

- Yeah, I hope you didn't
make any plans for tonight.

- I have completed the task.

- Oh, honey.

[upbeat music]

? ?

- You wanted to see me?

- I did.

You're gonna want to sit down
for this.

- OK.

- We used your AI model to see
how it would have done

on last year's taxes
compared to you.

- You tried it out?

- Uh-huh.
- And?

- And unfortunately...

you kicked its butt!

- Yeah, maybe we should start
calling it A-with-a-black-I.

[laughs]

A black eye.
[laughs]

- Good one.

- OK.
I see what happened.

It puts some of the categories
on the wrong fields.

- Oh!

Nice going, dumbass!

- Yeah.

I can't have an AI accountant
make those kind of mistakes.

Hit the road, heifer!
- [blows raspberry]

- It'll learn and it'll
never make that mistake again.

- Well, we like the guy that
currently has the job, so-

- You have to listen to me.

This is what
the world is becoming.

Your competitors
will embrace this.

They will save money,
they will lower their prices,

they will
put you out of business.

This is the future.

- I think we'll be fine.

- This tavern has to survive!

When I came here,

I didn't fit anywhere else,
but I fit here,

and I'm gonna make sure
that this tavern remains

for the next person
that needs a place to fit in.

- Steve, you're a very
important part of this place.

- Thank you, Bobbie.

But I'm not.

I'm the numbers guy.

I'm the thing
that's replaceable.

- Not to me.

I'd miss you.

- Me too.

- I'll still be coming around.

I'll definitely still
be using my employee discount.

This is for the best.

- I have corrected my mistake.

- Shut up, heifer!
- Shut up, heifer!

[upbeat music]

? ?

[notification chimes]

[notification chimes]

- [sighs]
[notification chimes]

- Takoda, I need you
in the kitchen!

[notification chimes]

Now!

- Do you need me
to cover the grill?

- No, I need you
to cover my phone.

I'm in the weeds with Monica.

Send a confetti emoji.

- What?

- I don't know.
Just do it.

[notification chimes]

- She sent back a picture
of a truck.

I don't know if it's hers

or-
- It-it-it doesn't matter.

You know what?

Just send back a big red
exclamation point emoji.

[notification chimes]

- "Cutest thing ever."

- [sighs]
Send an exploding head emoji.

[notification chimes]

- She sent back
a cartoon version

of herself riding a unicycle?

- What?

Burgers and fries!

- Burgers and fries, sent.

- No, that was to Gabby.
- Sorry.

- No, it's fine.
Just go.

I mean-[sighs]

I should have never
pulled you into this.

[notification chimes]

Go.

Save yourself!

Exploding head emoji.

? ?

.

[rock music]

- Follow me,
but don't make it obvious.

- Lock it.

Steve, you were right.
This software is amazing.

It does learn.

- You did it, Steve.

[sighs]
This is the future.

Oh, did you know
that you can ask it

for more ways to save money?

Money Fairy, did you like
giving us suggestions?

- Yes, and I have lots
of other ideas to talk about.

- Oh, that's OK.

We have plenty, my little,
helpful electronic box.

- Has she told you
how she can link

customer orders
to the inventory

so reorders are automatic?

- No, but she did tell us
how to get rid of Takoda.

- [squeals]

- What? What-
what are you talking about?

- Oh, she showed us
how people can order

directly from their phone,

so we can get rid of all
our waiters and waitresses.

- You can't get rid of Takoda!

- Well, tell it to the future.

'Cause Tinkerbell here
says he ain't in it.

- Oh, same for Gabby.
- Mm-hmm.

- Gabby?

You're not going to have
a bartender in your bar?

- She showed us
an AI bartending machine.

She says payroll savings pay
for it in less than a year.

- And they don't
give away drinks

when they're flirting
with customers.

- Oh, yeah.
[laughter]

- You cannot
be serious about this.

- [laughs]

Of course we're not!

But she is.

- She's coming for all of us,

but we refuse
to eat her pretzels!

- Steve, you said you're
a numbers person.

Is that all you think you are
around here?

- What else am I?

- A huge part of this family.

- The best family
in the whole wide world.

- Yeah, I know that.

I do.

That's why I would
do anything to protect it.

This is where
the world is headed.

This is coming.

- Then let it come.

And when it does,
they'll find us,

a family, doing what we love.

- Yeah, here was
AI's other big savings idea:

close the speakeasy.

But you said
you believed in my vision.

Because you're
not a numbers guy.

You're a human being
who's great at numbers.

- You're stuck with us, bub.

- I'm so relieved.

I didn't know where the hell
I was going to go.

- [laughs]

Well, get out there
and save your seat

before some computer
tries to steal it.

- Ooh, let's go watch Gabby
flirt and give out drinks.

- Even though it never works?

- Yes.
- Fun!

- So cute.

- [laughs]

- Bobbie.
- [shouts]

What do you want?

- What you said to Steve
was very sweet.

- Oh.
Well, thanks.

Nice of you to say that.

- You and I
don't need the rest of them.

- Be gone, demon!

[upbeat music]

? ?

- Beautiful night, huh?

- Is it?

- Everything work out
with the texting?

- No, I don't know
what's going on anymore.

- What do you mean?

- [sighs] We've exchanged
so many emojis

and G-I-Fs,

I've lost track of
what we're talking about.

- Hey.

Do you remember when I told you

that you were charming
in person?

- You mean with my
dispassionate grunts?

- Yeah, those.

- Yep.
- Very charming.

You may not think you're a
words guy, Emmett, but you are.

You don't use a lot of them,
but they always sound...

honest.

- Well, thank you.

- Let me see your phone
for a second.

- [groans]
- Trust me.

There's something cool
that you can do on it.

It's kind of old-school,
like you.

- Mm.
- It's ringing.

- [clears throat] Hey, Monica.

Yeah.

Uh, listen,
can I be honest with you?

I'm just not a texter.

Yes!

Oh, right.

They're the worst.
Ever!

Oh, well, I know.

I know.

Hey, you remember call waiting?

Oh, yeah.

Well, those were the good days.

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