Original subtitles

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

[light music]

JESSICA (ON PHONE): Cole, it's Dr. McCall again.

It's now been a week since you missed your last session.

If I don't hear from you today, I

have no choice but to file a report

that you haven't been keeping up with your appointments.

Please, call me.

♪ ♪

[knock on door]

- Dr. McCall, Cole Davis is here to see you.

JESSICA: Oh, um, yeah, send him in.

Cole.

- Hey.

- Where have you been?

- You know, around.

- Hmm.

Um, I'll have no choice but to report

that you've been missing appointments

if you keep this up.

- Whoa, Jess.

Slow down, OK?

You know what would happen.

They'd send me to prison.

And I mean, look at my face, right?

Somebody like me, I'm gonna have too many boyfriends.

So look, this thing we got going on, it's not working out.

So I think maybe you should type to your people,

let them know that I'm fixed, and we can

both move on with our lives.

- Oh, OK.

Um, except you're not fixed, Cole, because nobody is.

And this is the agreement that you and your lawyer made.

You've missed two out of five appointments.

- Wait, two and six.

- No, because this is not an appointment.

And since it's not an appointment,

I'm gonna have to ask you to please make one on your way out.

- OK.

All right.

You know, I thought it'd be a lot easier 'cause you're hot

'cause, you know, talking to ugly people

sucks, but you're gonna make this a real fucking chore.

- Goodbye, Cole.

COLE: Yeah, bye.

[light music]

♪ ♪

- Come on out, Cole.

We're ready whenever you are.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Hey.

Hey, Hey.

Whoa, wait up.

I'm Cole.

- Jackson.

- Yeah, so I, uh, saw you really checking out my dick back there.

- Yeah, I was drawing you.

- Nah, but you were, like, really spending time on it.

Getting it just right.

Hey, look, I don't blame you.

I got a massive cock.

- OK.

- So what do you do?

You're in, uh, art school, I guess?

- What gave that away?

- Well, don't you think that's a bit of a fucking waste of money?

- And what do you do?

- I'm in law school.

- Yeah, that explains the douchebag routine.

- Hey, hey. Whoa.

You want to-- you want to get something to eat sometime

maybe, like a burger and fries?

Or I mean, we could do other things with our mouths.

I'm talking you sucking my dick.

- Wow.

- I mean, you spent three hours sketching it, right?

- Can't you just fuck off?

- Whoa!

Hey, yo, come back. Come back, man.

Come back.

Listen, why don't you call me sometime?

Look, my number is 705--

- OK, let me just write that down.

- Oh, finally.

Thank you very much.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

Mm.

Our meal should really come at the same--

anyway, I tell you, if your father was still alive,

he would be horrified about the way that boy has turned out.

You've always been too easy on him.

That's why he is the way he is, you know?

Please tell me he has at least shaved

that ridiculous looking goatee that he

had the last time I saw him.

He looked like a-- a Yeti.

[chuckles] I blame those damn arts programs.

Kids are becoming freaks.

Are you actually going to eat that?

♪ ♪

Joyce says you haven't returned her calls.

- It's because I have nothing to say.

- She's trying to make sure you're OK.

She just wants your opinion.

- No, she wants my permission.

- Well, it's not like either of you are innocent.

At least she's trying, which is more than you can say.

♪ ♪

I thought we talked about your hair.

Hmm.

I'm sure this is not the wine I ordered.

Excuse me.

This isn't what I--

- Literally insult after insult after insult.

I feel like a teenager, and I can't do anything right at all.

I have three degrees.

And yet somehow-- somehow, I still embarrass this woman.

Nothing is ever enough for her.

Just-- what?

- In all the time I've known you,

you have never spent 45 minutes talking about a comment

your mother made about your hair.

- Well, this is therapy, and I'm supposed

to talk about my mother.

- Yes, but this feels like a deflection.

Could there be something else going on?

I noticed you very quickly brushed by the details

about your sister's engagement.

- Yes, but that's because this isn't about Joy.

- This engagement can't be easy.

Dragging everything back up.

It's understandable if it hurts.

Have you thought about taking some time off?

- I'm fine.

- It's not just for you, Jessica.

I'm worried about your patients.

- Hmm.

- Who are we really helping when we're not mentally healthy?

- Uh-oh.

Looks like our time's up.

- You are the only patient I who cuts her own sessions.

- Yeah, well, guess I'm not used to being

on this side of the couch.

See you next week.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

How are rowing tryouts?

- Fine.

- You think you'll make the team?

So how are you feeling about your dad's engagement?

- I know what you're doing.

- I understand if it's hard.

This must be really confusing.

- Stop talking to me like I'm a child.

And don't try and pin whatever you're feeling on me, OK?

You want to bitch to someone, bitch to dad, bitch to Joy.

- Tyler, I'm just trying to talk to you.

TYLER: I got homework.

[sultry music]

♪ ♪

[groaning, moaning]

♪ ♪

[panting]

♪ ♪

- Hey, what are you doing tonight?

- Um, I'm meeting up with some people.

Why?

- Never mind.

It's all good.

- You should go tonight.

It's two for one night at The Junction.

- Yeah.

Yeah, maybe.

- OK, cool.

See you later.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

[JONATHAN SHARP, "YOUNG, HUNG & BROKE"]

♪ They all know my name ♪

♪ I'm young, hung, and broke ♪

♪ Got a pretty face ♪

♪ But I'm the punchline to the joke ♪

♪ I ain't got much ♪

♪ But I know how to stroke ♪

♪ Living on the edge ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm young and broke ♪

- Uh, can I get your number?

- Why?

- Maybe-- maybe we could do this again sometime.

- Yeah, maybe.

Find me.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

And then he slid his hand into my pants, grabbing all of me.

I was so fucking hard.

And then his tongue went into my throat.

It tasted like whiskey and cigarettes.

And then he was fucking me over a garbage can,

you know, fucking me deep.

And before you know it, I--

was all over.

I mean, he pulled up his pants, and I pulled up mine.

And that's the story of how I lost my virginity to a lawyer

in an alleyway.

You know, come to think of it, that's--

that's probably why I wanted to go to law school.

- Interesting.

Was any of that true?

- No, but it was a good story, right?

- You realize you're wasting your time?

- Isn't this the shit you want to hear?

- Not if it isn't true.

I can't help you if you're gonna keep playing these games.

- Me and you both know you don't want to be here, OK?

So you can cut the act.

- Do you even want help, Cole?

- I don't need it.

I don't need help, OK? Look at me.

I'm fine. - Really?

- Yes.

- People who are fine don't generally drive

into oncoming traffic for fun.

[suspenseful music]

- The voices told me.

The voices.

They told me to do it.

- OK, yeah.

I can't so I'm just gonna release you back to the court.

COLE: OK, OK.

Calm down, Jess, OK?

You want to talk about my shitty life?

We can next week.

- Can't wait.

COLE: OK.

- Wonderful.

COLE: Hey, since I'm here, do you have

any more of those happy pills?

- Goodbye, Cole.

- All right.

[light music]

♪ ♪

- Can I help you?

COLE: Yeah, yeah, you can.

Uh, had a dream about you last night.

- Fuck's sake's.

You don't give up, do you?

- Whoa.

Who said it had anything to do with sex?

It was actually just about me and Tom Hanks.

We were having a little rap battle at a KFC parking lot.

And you just happened to be recording it.

Look, the fact I got a raging hard-on

for you is totally irrelevant.

What are you doing?

- I'm looking for my rape whistle.

- Hey, look, man, I normally don't have to try this hard.

I mean, look at me.

Rejection's a totally foreign concept.

- Yeah, I know, Cole.

Do you honestly think I haven't seen you

before at the clubs and stuff?

Leaving with someone new every single time.

- OK, so?

- So I'm not interested in being your fucking Chuck.

- Why do you think that's all I want?

- Have you even heard the way that you talk?

It's fucking disgusting.

And you just sound desperate and pathetic.

- You don't know the first thing about me.

- No, but I can tell that you're obviously alone for a reason.

And you're overcompensating pretty fucking hard.

- Go fuck yourself.

- I'll get right on that.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

[groaning, moaning]

♪ ♪

- OK, sweetie, just breathe in.

There we go.

And do not forget you have a tuxedo fitting on Saturday.

- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

- And please, have that conversation

you've been putting off with a certain someone

about that tacky wooden jewelry he always

seems to be wearing these days.

He is going to a wedding, not the tiki-tiki room.

- Jess, what do you think?

Jess? - It's nice.

It's nice.

- You're not even looking.

- Mom, is that your veil?

You told me that I couldn't wear that to my wedding.

- Well, it didn't go with your dress.

I would have given it you--

- Actually, I was just thinking.

Jess, um, if you-- if you have time,

maybe you want to help with some of the wedding preparations?

- Aw.

- You know why that's not an option, right?

Please tell me that you know.

- Why can't you be happy for me?

- Oh, my God.

Are you fucking kidding me? - Jess.

- What?

- I need to go back to work. - Oh, for heaven's sake.

JESSICA: Back to work. - No, you're not leaving.

- My God. You're such a party pooper.

- Oh, you can't say anything.

- Oh, she's so dramatic.

- Oh, honey, you're gonna have to hold

your stomach in a little bit.

- Mom.

- Just a bit.

[engine starts]

DR. KELLER: What made you go to Joyce yesterday?

- She wanted to show me the dress.

- That's what she wanted.

But you've made it very clear you're

uncomfortable with all of this, so what do you get out

of prioritizing what Joy wants?

- I-- I know the logical thing would be to hate her, but

as uncomfortable as I feel, I--

I would feel worse if she wasn't a part of my life.

DR. KELLER: Why?

- Because she's my sister.

You're supposed to be able to turn to family for anything.

- Yes.

Can you?

Can they even be there for you when they don't

know what's weighing on you?

[somber music]

♪ ♪

- Hey.

- What do you want?

- I don't know.

I guess to say I'm sorry.

COLE: Ah, you're good.

You're good.

- Look, I didn't think that what I said

was gonna get to you like this.

COLE: No, you didn't.

You wrote me off without even giving me a fucking chance.

- Well, how do you expect me to react when you come on to me

like a fucking freight train?

- 'Cause I'm attracted to you.

- So that makes it OK?

♪ ♪

- No.

- Look, maybe what I said was a little harsh.

- No, no, you were spot on.

I'm an absolute piece of fucking shit.

- Look, I'm sorry.

I don't know what you want me to say.

COLE: Fuck off, Jackson, all right?

I don't need your judgment on top of your pity.

♪ ♪

[soft piano music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, I didn't know you were home.

♪ ♪

What are you working on?

- Can you not?

I'm just trying to study.

- What's going on with you?

- Nothing.

- No, it's not nothing.

You've been brutal to me for weeks.

I'm getting pretty tired of it.

You know, nothing can be fixed without communication.

♪ ♪

Does this have anything to do with your dad's engagement?

- You know what, Mom?

Yes, it does.

JESSICA: OK.

I understand why you're upset.

- Do you?

You want to talk about communication?

Fine.

Why don't you tell me about the affair?

- What?

- Why don't you tell me the real reason

that you and dad split up?

Why you acted like you were some kind of victim

through the whole thing, crying yourself to sleep every night,

making me think that he was to blame for walking out.

I hated him for months, for months.

And you just let me.

And to top it all off, you spent the last few years

being awkward around me, studying me constantly

to see if I had pieced it all together, walking on eggshells

and making me feel even more awkward,

like I was the one who had done something wrong.

- Tyler, I don't--

- And then dad finally treats me like a fucking adult

and tells me about it.

You had an affair on him.

You're the reason our family fell apart.

So yeah, Mom, it is about the wedding.

Is that enough communication for you?

I want to live with Dad.

[panting, groaning]

[sultry music]

♪ ♪

- Just, uh, hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

I need a-- I need a drink.

- What's going on?

♪ ♪

Hey, you good?

COLE: Yeah, yeah.

Uh, just need a second.

- What's the problem?

- Yeah, I'm just--

I'm just not in the mood.

- Well, let me get you in the mood.

♪ ♪

- Hey, Lindsay.

Would you fucking stop?

- Whoa.

What is your problem, man?

- Like, can't you do something else besides fucking,

like, maybe talking for once?

- You want to talk? COLE: Yeah, talk.

That thing people do with their fucking mouths

when they don't have a cock in it.

- We don't talk, Cole.

We aren't friends.

You are just a dick to me. I thought that's all you wanted.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a dick. All right.

- OK, so you get what this is.

So stop being a little bitch and fuck me.

- You know what?

I got something fucking better for you.

Why don't you take your fucking shit--

- Whoa. - And go fuck yourself.

- Holy shit, man.

Relax.

Are you kidding me?

- Look, I guess I am just a fucking dick to you, all right?

Now, get the fuck out.

- OK, I'm happy to.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

- [groaning]

♪ ♪

[crying]

♪ ♪

[television chatter]

♪ ♪

- Hey.

COLE: Hey.

- What's up?

Does he fight you much?

- Oh, not really.

I mean, he always just wants to stay up when I'm here so,

you know.

- Yeah, perks of being a cool uncle.

Usually takes me, like, an hour to get him to sleep.

He misses you, Cole.

He's always asking for you.

- I know. I know.

I know.

I just-- I didn't want to come here and have you guys

deal with my shit, you know?

- Yeah, I know.

We're your family.

We're the part of your shit.

Can we please talk--

- It's OK.

We don't need to talk about it.

- I just--

I don't-- I don't want you to get to such a point again.

You have a lot of family that care about you--

me, Oliver, Trevor, mom.

Just don't forget.

We love you.

["IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL" PLAYING]

♪ When peace like a river ♪

♪ Attendeth my way ♪

♪ When sorrows like sea billows row ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Whatever my lot ♪

♪ Thou hast taught me to say ♪

♪ It is well ♪

♪ It is well with my soul ♪

♪ It is well with my soul ♪

♪ It is well ♪

♪ It is well with my soul ♪

♪ ♪

♪ It is well ♪

♪ It is well with my soul ♪

♪ ♪

[clapping]

JACKSON: Hey.

- Hey.

- I, um, didn't expect to look up and see you sitting out here.

- Yeah, you're the last person I'd expect

to be in a place like this.

- Why?

Because I'm gay, I can't be a Christian?

- Why is it always a fucking fight with you?

- Hey, watch your mouth.

You're in a fucking church.

- Didn't know you can sing.

- Yeah, well, I guess neither of us

really know a whole lot about each other, do we?

- Yeah.

- Look, I'll see you around, OK?

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

JESSICA: Let's talk about the car accident.

♪ ♪

You told the court he wanted to hurt yourself.

[engine roars, tires screech]

Chose a very public way to do so.

- You think I was looking for attention?

- No.

No, I think you were looking for support.

- I wasn't trying to kill myself, OK?

I'm just tired.

- Just wanted something else to think about?

- Don't you ever?

- This isn't about me.

Yeah, the world can be pretty hard to live in.

So I guess there's some days where I wonder what it would

be like to just fade away.

- What stops you?

- Hope.

My family.

People that need me.

And mostly the knowledge that feelings don't last.

- That sounds like some class A bullshit, Jessica.

What else are you gonna tell me, huh?

Live, laugh, love?

Everything gets better with time?

- Some days will.

We have to find the things in life that make it worthwhile.

- OK.

So tell me, what are those things, right?

Society sucks.

Everything's a fucking controversy.

Everybody's so easily offended, yet so ready

to be offensive, to hold everyone

accountable except for themselves.

And they wait.

They wait for a reason to hate you.

You're never gonna be gay enough,

straight enough, rich enough, poor enough,

even fucking depressed enough.

They just keep piling on, one after the other, until you

fucking can't take it anymore.

And then they wonder why you want to kill yourself.

You know what?

I would rather the world fucking hate me

right away than for me to walk on eggshells

for the rest of my life waiting for them, waiting for the chance

that I slip up and they can say, aha, we got him now.

I'm done.

I'm tired.

- Do you ever find you're angry with yourself?

- That's a stupid question.

Isn't everybody angry at themselves?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I suppose, but how do you feel about your sexuality?

- My life isn't tragic 'cause I sleep with men.

I sleep with men, and my life has tragedy in it.

Those are two separate fucking things.

- You were nine when your father died.

Tell me about that.

- Yeah, I don't know.

I was nine so what do you remember

when you were a kid, right?

Dad was a-- a doctor with Doctors Without Borders.

And he was there fighting the Ebola outbreak in the Congo.

He just never came home.

- What about your mother?

Why don't you speak to her anymore?

[cell phone vibrates]

I'm so sorry.

I thought it was on silent.

- I'm kind of tired anyways.

Maybe we can finish here.

- Sure.

Yeah, we can finish for today.

[door closes]

JOYCE (ON PHONE): Hello.

- Hey, you called?

JOYCE (ON PHONE): Oh, hi.

Yeah, do you still have that Paris book?

- Yeah, why?

JOYCE (ON PHONE): Well, mom was thinking it might be fun to have

a Paris themed wedding shower.

- Are you fucking kidding me?

JOYCE (ON PHONE): What?

JESSICA: Joy, I don't care.

You can have the book.

I don't care about the stupid book.

But that's not why you're calling about, OK?

You're calling to try and have a conversation with me

so you can pretend that everything's OK between us.

JOYCE (ON PHONE): Oh, is this your professional

take on this then?

- Please stop trying to overcompensate for how awkward

you know this is for me.

JOYCE (ON PHONE): God, OK, fine.

I won't call you again.

- Great, great.

Goodbye.

[line drops]

- I forgot my backpack.

I'll see you next week?

- Yeah.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

Wow.

Looks like some things never change.

You should get tested for HPV.

- It's the middle of the day.

Shouldn't you be off snacking on the souls of children?

- Tyler told me about your conversation.

I had an affair. Really?

- Well, what did you expect me to tell him?

JESSICA: What about the truth?

- Uh, really?

Thought we decided against that. - No.

No, we didn't.

We decided that we would tell him together when he was ready,

not keep throwing each other under the bus to lie to him.

- Let's be honest, Jessica.

If you really thought he should know,

you would have said something by now.

I'm sorry, OK?

He started asking questions about everything,

our whole history, details about the divorce, about Joy.

Things slipped out, and I just panicked.

- I need you to take him.

- What?

- He's not happy with me anymore,

so I need you to take him.

- I'm not taking him.

JESSICA: He's your son.

- You wanted him.

I know that you'll never forgive me.

And I don't blame you, but I am sorry.

I-- he might be ready, but I'm not.

- Unbelievable.

DAVID: You've always been his constant.

And he will forgive you eventually once he

processes this new information.

But I'm the one that keeps screwing up in his eyes, Jess.

I'm a lot closer to actually losing him than you are.

So I don't want to make things worse.

You're not gonna say anything, are you?

- No.

♪ ♪

[JONATHAN SHARP, "FUCK WITH MY HEAD"]

♪ Putting it on a shelf ♪

♪ You love the power ♪

♪ I hate the pain ♪

♪ But there I am, calling out your name ♪

♪ You fuck with my head ♪

♪ And I'll let you in ♪

♪ You pull me close ♪

♪ Then you leave again ♪ - Do you want a shot?

- I can't drink anymore. - What?

- I said I can't drink anymore--

- Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound

of your vagina queefing.

Excuse me.

Hey, ball sack with testicles.

JACKSON: Oh, my God, Abby. Seriously?

- Hi.

- Look, my friend here, he's not bad to look at, right?

- Seriously?

- He wants you inside him.

JACKSON: Oh, my God.

- All like, what?

9 inches of you?

- Oh, my God. You're so-- why do you do this?

- Don't act like I don't catch you

checking him out all the time.

- Ooh, that's interesting.

- Tequila makes his clothes fall off.

And he has a playlist on his phone of songs

he wants to be plied to.

I'm gonna go dance.

Enjoy.

Thanks.

- Hey, that's mine.

JACKSON: I am so sorry for her.

- It's all good.

It doesn't bother me.

♪ But you've got me locked in this twisted dance ♪

♪ You took me down ♪

- I'm also sorry about the other day as well.

- Don't even worry about it.

I overreacted.

- No, I was--

I was a dick.

COLE: Let me buy you a drink.

- You really don't need to do that.

- Hey, let me buy you a fucking drink.

[JONATHAN SHARP, "BEING A DICK TO ME WON'T MAKE YOU STRAIGHT"]

♪ So go bury the truth you can't face ♪

♪ You can call me names ♪

♪ Push me around ♪

♪ But it won't silence the voice you found ♪

♪ Hurt me all you want ♪

♪ But it's too late ♪

♪ Being a dick to me won't make you straight ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The joke's in hard ♪

[JONATHAN SHARP, "CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT"]

♪ You're messing with my mind ♪

♪ A guy like you shouldn't leave me paralyzed ♪

- So why do you think you push people away?

- Wow.

- What?

- Where did that even come from?

I thought we weren't gonna have any awkward questions.

- Oh, I'm sorry. Was that awkward?

- Yeah.

- Guess I must just be drunk.

♪ Confused ♪

♪ Just don't know what to say ♪

♪ But you're in my head ♪

♪ Can't think straight ♪

I mean, you're obviously attractive.

- Mm.

- And you're smart, and you're funny.

So why are you single?

- Why are you single?

- I'm not trying to shame you or anything like that.

It's just doesn't get lonely, all these one night stands,

everyone always leaving?

- Well, if we're honest, that's all anybody ever wants.

- Not everyone.

- OK, fine.

I'll play that game.

Maybe not you.

But normal people, that's all they want.

They just want to cum and go.

- How would you know if you haven't

given anyone a chance to stay?

- 'Cause I know.

I mean, look around.

Everyone wants this Saturday night.

Nobody wants to stay for the Sunday morning.

We're not made to be tied down at all.

We're just meant to party, fuck, have fun.

Nobody wants to hang over.

- You're obviously hanging around with the wrong people

because some of us want to be there first thing in the morning

after the hangover to take care of the person

that we're waking up next to.

[pop music]

♪ --need permission ♪

♪ I was born to be free ♪

♪ Oh, you love to talk ♪

♪ But you never listen ♪

♪ Rewrite the past like the truth gone missing ♪

♪ You're so damn good at playing pretend ♪

♪ But karma keeps receipts ♪

♪ Guess we'll see how it ends ♪

♪ You smell like a saint ♪

♪ But your hands ain't clean ♪

♪ ♪

- You like that, don't you?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stop!

- Why?

- I don't want to do it like this.

COLE: Like what?

- Like we're in a fucking porno.

- OK.

Uh--

- Look, I thought I was wrong about you,

and I hope that I still am, but this

is exactly what I didn't want.

Look, I'm kind of drunk still, and

I'd like to spend the night because I

do want to spend it with you.

- OK.

OK.

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[cell phone vibrates]

- Fuck, oh.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

Is that your phone?

- No.

Hey, take this and drink this.

- Thanks.

- Uh. - Mm.

COLE: Uh.

- Mm.

COLE: Uh.

OK.

- Look, I had a time last night.

- Yeah, I did too.

Looks like we're ready to pick up where we left off.

- [sighs] Come on.

I meant what I said last night.

I'd like to take you out tonight.

Like on a date.

- Uh, isn't that kind of gay?

- I'll see you tonight.

- Well, this is a nice change, Cole.

- It's him.

JESSICA: Someone you were intimate with?

- You mean, did we fuck?

- Sure.

- No.

Actually, all we did was cuddle, which is like--

I'm-- I'm surprised.

I don't know.

It just-- there's something about him.

He's just different.

JESSICA: I'm really happy for you.

However, um, I think we should continue

where we left off last time.

Why don't we start with your mother?

- Why don't we talk about your mom?

Does she look like you?

Is she hot?

Is this her here?

JESSICA: That is a picture of my sons, Tyler and Jackson--

- Jackson.

- You know Jackson?

- Yeah, I got to know him very well last night.

- This isn't funny, Cole. - Why?

You didn't know he liked boys? - Of course, I know he's gay.

I just didn't know that he-- - Is it about me?

What?

Am I not good enough?

- Are you being serious right now?

COLE: Yes, I'm being serious.

- Then I need you to go. - I'm not going anywhere.

- I can't treat you any more.

COLE: This is my therapy session.

- As of right now, I'm no longer your therapist.

Go. - Jessica, no.

- Enough. - I'm not going.

I'm staying right here.

- I'm gonna call security. Get out.

- Wow.

Really?

At least now I know what you actually think about me.

So thank you.

[door slams shut]

[knocks on door]

- I thought we should talk.

Look, I don't know how to say this,

so I'm just gonna come out and say it.

I went to see David yesterday, and--

- I know he's screwing his secretary, Jess.

It's what works for us.

We're open.

Look, I don't expect you to understand.

And you really don't have to.

I mean, it's kind of why you and David never really worked out

and why he and I do.

You wanted different things, and he just didn't

know how to communicate that.

And he and I are on the same page.

- Great.

- OK.

Look, I-- I'm sorry for how I hurt you,

and I really wish I could take it back,

but you and I both know that you were really unhappy with him

and he with you.

- David told Tyler that I had an affair.

That that's the reason for the divorce.

- Why would he do that?

- Because that's the man you're marrying.

- Stop-- stop doing that.

You-- stop trying to make me hate him.

- That is not what this is about at all.

Look at me.

The only reason I'm here telling you this

is because I think it's time.

He deserves the truth.

- This isn't just about you, Jess.

You don't have to do this.

Not right now.

It's, like, the worst fucking possible timing.

- Sure.

- Can you just let it go?

I have.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

- I can't be here when--

- I know.

♪ ♪

- Hey!

What the fuck?

- Why do you keep being such a douche to mom?

- Get out.

- No, not until you tell me.

- Because she had an affair.

- No, she didn't.

- Dad told me.

JACKSON: Dad's a lying sack of shit,

and he has been our entire lives.

Get your head out of your ass and

stop being such a little dick.

- I believe him.

- Well, you're an idiot, then.

And either way, it doesn't give you the right to keep

on treating her like this.

And if you keep it up, I promise, you I will cut you.

Now, hurry up.

I have a date.

- Why the fuck do you even live here still?

[doorbell rings]

- Cole, what are you doing here?

- I'm here to pick up Jackson for our date.

- He already has enough going on right now.

- Yeah, so do I but that doesn't matter to you, does it?

- This is exactly why I don't want you seeing him.

- This isn't up to you.

- Hey.

You actually came.

- Of course, yeah.

- Mom, this is Cole.

- Yeah, yeah, we, um, just met.

- OK.

I'm not gonna be out too late.

- Well, he doesn't know that.

- I'll see you later.

Love you.

- Love you too.

Have fun.

JACKSON: Suburbia.

- Do you like my car?

- It's fancy.

- Yeah.

- So that's the dude that Jackson's banging?

Did you talk to dad about me moving in?

- Yeah, I have, but I've changed my mind.

We're gonna work through this.

[light music]

- So are you, like, a nachos guy or--

- I'm like a food guy.

Period.

- Me too, man.

Me too.

- Guacamole's disgusting, though.

- Oh, the article.

- Yeah.

- The article is if you eat one avocado per meal,

it's enough healthy fats that you'll,

like, live longer or some shit.

JACKSON: An avocado per meal?

COLE: Yeah.

JACKSON: What do you even do with that much avocado?

- I don't know.

You spread it on your bread or--

- Hi, um, my friend thinks you're really hot,

so she asked me to send you this.

- Does your friend know I'm on a date?

- You're gay?

You're serious?

That's a fucking waste.

- Wow. COLE: Here.

Why don't you take this back?

I'm-- I'm actually good.

- Well, OK.

Well, I'll just-- in case you change your mind.

Maybe take one of these.

See ya.

- Yeah, her friend definitely told her to do that.

JACKSON: Clearly.

- By the way, Jackson, I'm not gay.

- Yeah, OK.

COLE: I'm not.

- OK, sorry.

Gay, straight, bi, whatever.

- None of those things.

- You have sex with men.

- OK, and?

- OK.

So what are you?

- I'm an experience.

No, for real.

I think living in this world is hard enough.

So why would I make it harder by putting myself in a little box?

I don't need a word to define who I am.

- Hmm.

I guess I never thought about things like that.

- How about you then, Jackson?

Who are you?

- Apparently, I'm not as deep as you.

- Oh, you could have got pretty deep last night.

- Why do you keep on doing that?

COLE: Do what?

- This self-defense mechanism thing.

Do I make you nervous or something?

- Honestly, yeah.

- Why?

COLE: I don't know.

I just don't do this, like food, nachos, talking

about our personal life.

Like, I never do this.

I-- you're just different, Jackson, OK?

- Well, I'm not going anywhere.

So, why law school?

- Mm.

Really?

OK.

Uh, when I was 16, I sought emancipation from my mom

and, uh, my stepfather.

I was young.

I couldn't afford a lawyer.

So I found somebody who was willing to fight

the case pro bono.

And if I didn't have him in my corner,

I don't know where I'd be.

Law school is just a way of kind of like paying it forward,

you know?

Like my good deed.

- Why did you become emancipated?

- There's a lot of questions about me.

Why don't we talk about you?

- OK, what do you want to know about me?

- How's your family?

- Well, my dad is just--

he's not a good dad.

Um, my brother depends on the day and who's around.

COLE: Mm.

- But my mom's pretty great.

- She seemed a little off when I came to pick you up.

- Well, yeah, she's got a lot going on right now.

My family's a little screwed up, but I don't know,

she's the strongest person I know.

I know she's gonna get through it.

COLE: Mm.

- Honestly, I think there's probably a lot more to the story

that I'm not even aware of.

But she keeps everything in all the time.

You know, she just-- she doesn't want to let me

and my brother see her shit, but like,

it wouldn't bother us if she did.

- Why don't you talk to her about it?

JACKSON: I don't know.

I guess I've just got to accept the fact

that sometimes I'm not entitled to all the information.

It doesn't mean that I can't just be there for the person,

you know?

I don't need to pry.

I just need to be there.

- Oh, cheers.

It's our first date, right?

- Cheers.

I had fun tonight.

- Yeah, me too.

- I'd invite you in, but you know.

- Nah, don't even worry about it.

We always got some other time.

- Hey.

- Or we could go back to my house.

- Look, I meant what I said last night.

I had a good time, but I liked today better 'cause

I got to get to know you.

I want the Sunday mornings.

Goodnight.

[suspenseful music]

[bell jingles]

- Cole.

- I, uh--

I knew you'd be here.

I just-- I want to tell you, I'm very serious about Jackson.

And I would never do anything to hurt him.

- You told me this already.

- I know, but I thought maybe if I showed up here,

you'd see how committed I was and--

- I can't.

- Jess, I need to stay in counseling.

I have probation.

I can't just-- you told me to make things better,

and I'm trying to make things better.

And Jackson, he just makes it better for me.

- I know, OK, Cole?

But I can't.

It's a conflict of interest.

I'm sorry.

- I-- you know, I--

I know you never really liked me,

and I never really said that.

And I wasn't easy on you.

I understand.

Somehow, I think maybe if I stayed in counseling,

you could have helped me.

But thank you for at least trying your best.

- I don't dislike you, Cole.

[bell jingles]

[soft music]

♪ ♪

- Why do you keep staring at me?

- No reason.

Are you going out again tonight?

- Yeah, eventually.

JESSICA: You've been spending a lot of time with this guy

lately.

- Yeah, that's what happens when you're dating somebody.

- You're-- you're dating, like, officially?

- Yeah.

- But it's only been two weeks.

Isn't that a little fast?

- What is with all the questions?

Do you not like Cole or something?

You don't even know him yet.

- Never mind.

♪ ♪

Tyler, um, your grandma wants to have dinner with the two

of us tomorrow night.

- What?

Why?

- Because she hasn't seen you for weeks.

I don't know.

- Well, why doesn't Jackson have to go?

- Because grandma's a fucking psycho.

JESSICA: Hey.

JACKSON: Well, she is.

- Because she only asked for you.

- It's probably because the oldest is such

a disappointment, isn't it?

- Stop.

- It has its benefits.

♪ ♪

[light music]

♪ ♪

Cole, come on.

Hey, come on.

- What?

I just want to make you feel good.

- I do feel good.

♪ ♪

- Fine.

OK, I'm fine.

I'm completely fine.

♪ ♪

JACKSON: OK, OK.

All right.

♪ ♪

Do you have a condom?

- Yes.

- Yeah, so do I.

♪ ♪

MAN: Get in the mood.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

Hey, what's wrong with you, baby?

♪ ♪

What's wrong, baby?

♪ ♪

COLE: Stop.

Stop.

JACKSON: Are you all right?

- Yeah, yeah.

I'm fine.

I just-- I can't right now.

- Well, then I told the caterer, I

don't care about your traditional menu options.

None of it is gourmet, which is what I am paying for.

I mean, please, filet mignon?

What are we, savages?

Is this some sort of prom night?

I mean, if we wanted to be the laughingstock of the season,

we'd just have a pig roast or host

a reception on the front lawn or some community center.

What are you wearing?

You look like an avocado.

- You wanted to talk to Tyler about something?

- Oh, yes.

Right, right.

Hang on.

There.

There.

- $50,000?

- Mom, really?

- Well, you're going off to university next year.

I mean, it isn't fair for you to have

to work when you're supposed to be focusing on your studies

and maybe finding a girlfriend.

- Mom, you should have discussed this with me first.

- Why would I have to discuss it with you

if I want to give my grandson a gift?

- Because you have two grandsons.

- Well, if the eldest--

- Jackson.

His name is Jackson.

I'm so sick of the way you talk about him.

- I am not about to waste my money on some arts program.

You do something useful with that.

TYLER: Hey!

What--

- You are not buying my son's affection.

You're certainly not choosing one of my kids over the other.

Furthermore, he doesn't need your money.

He has a lot more than that waiting for him

when he graduates, which he can use on whatever he wants,

whether it's art school or not because he's my son,

and he can be whoever he wants to be.

Let's go.

TYLER: Can I have my phone back?

Thanks.

[JONATHAN SHARP, "I CAN'T KEEP MY HANDS OFF YOU"]

♪ I can't keep my hands off you ♪

♪ Every inch I want to explore, too ♪

♪ Let's get reckless ♪

♪ Let's get loud ♪

♪ You've got me hooked ♪

♪ I can't back down ♪

♪ I'm all in ♪

♪ Let's forget the rules ♪

♪ Tonight, I'm the one who's in control of you ♪

♪ I can't keep my hands off you ♪

- Have I ever told you that you have a great body?

- Yeah, yeah.

You do it all the time.

- It's just like every time you pose for our art class,

you give me a hard on.

Jax, can I make out with your boyfriend?

- Yeah, I don't think so.

ABBY: Why?

I'll let you make out with mine.

- I don't want to make out with yours.

No offense.

ABBY: Come on.

Can you just kiss my best friend?

JACKSON: Oh, God, Abby.

- Come on, kiss him. - Kiss him.

- Kiss him.

Do it.

Do it, do it, do it.

[gasps] Yeah, that is hot.

Add some tongue.

- Oh, God.

- Don't act like you don't like it, bitch.

- You're still not making out with my boyfriend.

♪ ♪

- All right.

Scott, show him your dick.

JACKSON: I think it's time for us to go home.

- Why?

We're just starting to have some fun.

- Hi. Hey.

Could I have another drink, please?

- Sweetie, he doesn't work here.

- I'm going up anyways.

What do you want?

- Alcohol.

- Helpful.

- Did I ever tell you the time that Jackson and I had sex?

- No, we didn't. ABBY: Yes, we did.

I'm the reason he's gay.

You're welcome.

- We did not have sex.

- Private conversation.

Anyway, yeah, he asked me to stick a finger up his no,

no hole.

And I was like, yeah, he's a homo.

- I can say from personal experience

that that's probably not how the conversation went.

I mean, she casually asks you if you're adventurous,

and the next thing you she's two knuckles deep,

finger raping you up the ass.

- Man, that's-- that's--

that's not funny.

ABBY: Yeah, it's not funny.

It's not rape if you like it.

COLE: That's not fucking funny.

MAN: Dude, come down.

Didn't mean anything.

- Yeah, of course not.

Both of you don't think about what you

say before you fucking say it.

I'm gonna go get, uh--

get some fresh air.

- Man, I'm sorry.

- I'll be back.

- He's dark.

- Hey.

You OK?

- I'm just--

I didn't mean to make such a stupid scene.

JACKSON: It's fine, man.

Don't worry about that.

Do you want to talk about it?

- What's there to talk about?

- I mean, obviously, you're going through something.

- I don't need any kind of pity or judgment.

- Hey, I will never pity you, and I will never judge you, OK?

I just want to be here for you.

- Well, I know that other people in the world

have it a lot harder than I do.

- So that doesn't make what you're

going through any less valid.

- It's cold out.

You don't have to stay outside with me, OK?

- I want to.

I just want to be here with you, OK?

I want you to know that you're not alone.

DR. KELLER: You know you don't owe anyone a thing, right?

Not your mom, not Joy, certainly not David.

- I know.

DR. KELLER: No, Jessica.

Listen to me.

You don't owe anyone anything.

You've been holding it together for everyone else.

It's time you prioritize your mental health.

And if living honestly alleviates

some negative feelings, you need to.

- Yeah, but that's just gonna make it a bigger fucking

mess for everybody else.

- That's something that can be worked out over time.

That nagging guilt, the fear of the unknown, the regret, that's

what's keeping you in limbo.

And it's eating you alive.

- Um, next Friday at 3:30.

- Hey, Jessica.

- What are you doing here?

- Well, you know I need to keep up my probation,

so what do you think I'm doing here?

Can I go up now?

[light music]

- Good to see you again, Cole.

JACKSON: Thank you.

♪ ♪

ABBY: Can I show you mine?

JACKSON: Sure.

- Only serious opinions only, OK?

- Oh, my God.

What is wrong with you?

- Girl can dream.

JACKSON: You're disgusting.

- I love it.

♪ ♪

- So beautiful, the lake.

- Mm.

- And the stars.

I don't see them often.

You're awfully quiet.

- Yeah.

You know my dad's wedding is coming up, right?

- Mm-hmm.

Oh.

- OK, I don't want to jinx anything by asking too soon,

but do you want to come with me?

- Jackson, you know I don't do weddings.

- There's an open bar.

- I'm in.

- God forbid you just do something

'cause I'm your boyfriend.

- Oh, you know I like to get hard.

I like to be a--

I like to be difficult.

- Yeah, ain't that the truth. - OK.

- Mm-hmm.

- You know, I really like you, Jackson.

- I really like you, too.

- I just, uh--

I just don't ever want to hurt you, you know?

- OK, so then don't.

- Let's go home.

- OK.

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

[panting, groaning]

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[cell phone vibrates]

- Hello.

What's wrong?

Uh, I don't know, sis.

I, uh-- OK, yeah, I'll be there.

I'll be there.

- Who was that?

- That was just my--

my sister Cassie.

Um, my stepfather died last night, so--

- Oh, my God.

Babe, are you OK?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

- I'm so sorry.

Is there anything I can do?

- No, don't worry about it.

- Oh, when's the funeral?

- I think she said next Saturday, so--

- OK, I can--

I can be there with you.

- It's fine.

Look, I really don't want you there, OK?

- Oh, babe, you're gonna need somebody there.

- I said I'm fucking fine.

My stepfather died last night.

- Cole, I'm sorry.

- Trust me, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I, uh-- I'm actually glad.

DR. KELLER: Why do you say that?

- He just wasn't a good person.

- Why do you say he wasn't a good person?

COLE: Just wasn't.

He did things.

Destructive things.

Hurtful things.

He hurt people.

The world is a better place without him in it.

- It's never really that simple, is it?

You can dislike someone and still grieve their loss.

And sometimes that person takes something with them

that you can't get back.

Tell me more about these destructive things.

- We're not doing that.

I'm not talking about him.

Sorry.

- What would happen if we talked about him--

- We're not going to talk about him because I'm

done with that topic.

What you need to understand is that this

is something I'm trying to deal with on my own, OK?

And I'm sick of everyone trying to force me to talk about it.

DR. KELLER: Who do you mean by everyone?

- You, Cassie Jackson, my old therapist.

You all know what happened, so stop with the stupid questions,

OK?

- Cole, look, I--

I don't know what happened, but I can see that you're

carrying a lot of pain.

But do you think everyone is asking

out of nosiness or concern?

- No, I know why everybody is asking.

They're asking 'cause they're trying to fix it.

Like if somehow I open up about it, it'll make them feel better.

It's always about them, what they want,

what they think I need.

Do you know how fucking awkward it

is to console someone because they're hurting because I

tried to fucking kill myself?

This isn't one thing that can be fixed by one person,

but I'm working through it, OK?

I am.

You'll all know when I'm ready and

when I get there, 'cause that's when I'll

be willing to talk about it.

- How does next Friday work?

- Uh, no.

Can I-- how about Wednesday?

- Wednesday.

- Oh, I, uh--

I forgot my backpack.

I'm just gonna quickly--

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- Look, I know you said you're fine,

but I cleared my schedule on Saturday

just in case you change your mind

and want me to go with you to the funeral.

- For fuck's sake's, Jackson.

How many times do I have to say drop it?

[horn honks]

When I say I don't want you there,

I don't fucking want you there.

- OK, can you just pull the car fucking forward?

- Yes, I can fucking pull forward, all right?

I don't need you to instruct me on every part of my life.

I can survive without you.

You know how fucking annoying it is

to be asked the same questions all the time?

Like, are you OK?

What's wrong?

Do you want to talk about it?

Like, somehow you knowing is gonna fix things.

- OK, I'm sorry.

I don't know what to do here, OK?

I'm just trying to let you know that I'm here for.

- I get it. I get it, OK?

You want to be here for me.

But this is not fucking about you, Jackson, all right?

I do not want to fucking talk about it, OK?

Like, I-- you're always fucking around.

I can't catch a break.

- OK, I'm sorry.

- I need fucking space, OK?

I can't fucking breathe.

You're suffocating me.

- You told me you were never gonna hurt me.

- Yeah, so maybe we should end things now,

so I don't really fucking hurt you.

- It's a little late for that when

I'm already in love with you.

Don't do this, please.

- No, don't-- don't fucking touch me, OK?

[somber music]

♪ ♪

- Hey.

Hey.

Jax, what's wrong?

- [sniffs] Cole just broke up with me.

- Oh, honey. I'm so sorry.

- Yeah, right, Mom.

You didn't even like him.

- That is not true.

- Yeah, it is.

You didn't even get to know him 'cause if you did,

you would have seen that he's not just some guy

that it didn't work out with.

I'm so in love with him.

That's why he's breaking up with me.

- You're in love with him?

JACKSON: Yeah, Mom.

And he deserves to be loved.

He deserves to have someone there.

But he's too scared to let people see all the bad shit

that he's got going on.

He's a lot like you like that.

♪ ♪

DR. KELLER (ON RECORDING): So, what

brings you in today, Jessica?

JESSICA (ON RECORDING): My marriage.

It's over as of yesterday.

I just signed the divorce papers.

[knocks on door]

- Hello?

- Are you Joy?

Joy McCall?

- What is that?

- That's all of the audio recordings of your sister's

therapy sessions.

- That's sick.

Are you serious?

- Yeah, I am, you know.

I make a lot of bad choices, so fuck it.

What's one more?

- I don't know what you expect me to do here.

But I am-- I am--

I am not listening to that.

- Why?

'Cause you're afraid of what's on there?

- Because it's an invasion of privacy.

COLE: You just don't want to hear what it's doing to her.

People like you and me have no fucking

issue lying to everyone else around us

but not Jessica, your sister.

- You know, she doesn't need you to speak up for her.

She is more than capable.

COLE: Right.

She doesn't.

And you know she wouldn't if it means

someone else is gonna get hurt.

But that's not what this is about, OK?

It's about support.

You've had it your whole fucking life, and she hasn't.

She's had to deal with this and a lot more all on her own.

And trust me when I say this, it's

a lot more manageable when you have someone in your corner.

So, yeah, she shouldn't have to ask, especially not from you.

[melancholy music]

- I think you should go.

♪ ♪

[chatter]

- Hey, Ma.

- Cole.

Oh.

Hi, Cole.

- It's a nice service.

Mom, I-- I missed you.

I really did.

- Why are you here?

- I just told you why I'm here.

It's 'cause I missed you.

Because I thought you needed me.

- Like that suddenly matters.

- Mom, I'm not trying to start a fight.

Ma, can you-- can you at least look at me?

- Yes, I see you.

You happy?

- Mom, you know how hard it was for me to come here today?

KATHERINE: Then why did you?

You show up today of all days, after seven years

of shutting me out so you can what,

pretend everything is fine?

- Pretend?

That's pretty fucking ironic coming from you.

- Look, I am sorry for what you think happened.

- I don't think anything happened, OK?

It did happen.

It happened 11 times, Mom.

11 fucking times.

- How dare you start all of this all again today of all days?

Do you really hate me this much?

- I don't hate you, Mom.

I never did.

I feel bad for you.

I'm doing my healing.

And you still can't accept the fact that you did

nothing, nothing to help me.

Mom.

- Today is about his memory.

Don't ruin it.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

[crying]

♪ ♪

TYLER: Aunt Joyce is here.

JOYCE: Looks so good.

Over here.

You've got great hair.

OK, look at you boys.

- Joy.

- I, uh, needed to talk to you.

All of you, actually.

- How did you--

JOYCE: Doesn't matter.

What matters is that I owe you an apology.

I should have seen what this was doing to you.

And I owe you the truth.

Your dad told you about an affair.

But it wasn't your mom who had it.

It was your father.

18 years ago.

- What?

I--

- How?

I remember when he was born.

I remember when you were pregnant.

- I was pregnant.

The little girl who I lost during the delivery.

JOYCE: Your mom and dad had already

decided to work things out when I got pregnant so adoption was--

- Oh, no.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

- Did you know?

JACKSON: No.

I mean, I remember when we-- when

I was younger, mom and Aunt Joy weren't talking

to each other for a while.

And I had no idea why.

But then you were born.

And suddenly, she was back in our lives.

I was, like, seven.

♪ ♪

JOYCE: Every time I see him, I'm, um--

I'm reminded of the life he could have had

and the mistakes I made and how I hurt you.

And then I go.

And it's out of sight, out of mind.

But you're reminded every single day.

♪ ♪

- Look, I can't even begin to imagine

what you're feeling right now.

You have every right to be angry with all of them.

If I were you, I probably wouldn't even go tonight.

But if you want my opinion--

- Even if I didn't, you'd give it to me anyway.

- Look, it's just that for so long, you've

been telling all of us that you want

to be treated like an adult. Now it's

time to prove that you are one.

♪ ♪

Show them that you can handle this better than any of them

ever did.

♪ ♪

Come here.

♪ ♪

[doorbell rings]

- Hi.

- Hi, Cole.

Can I come in?

It's OK.

I mean, it's not.

It's not OK.

You're looking at 100 hours of community service,

but I appreciate it.

Can we talk?

- I didn't mean to hurt him.

- Yeah, I don't want you to hurt him, either.

But since he's been with you, he's been happy.

I know you probably don't see the world of difference you made

in his life because maybe you've told yourself

you're an obligation.

But you're not.

You know, we can't control other people's pain, Cole.

Sometimes love-- love is pain.

It sort of reminds us that we're alive.

There's good pain and there's bad pain.

The good pain heals.

It makes you stronger.

And sometimes you need that to grow.

I think somewhere along the line,

you've convinced yourself that you don't deserve

to be happy, that you're better off alone,

and no one gets hurt again.

I see it in you 'cause I see it in myself.

We deserve happiness, Cole.

We deserve to be cared for.

We deserve real, unconditional love even if it's terrifying.

Because otherwise, we're just--

just drowning.

[suspenseful music]

- My stepdad died recently.

So I went to the funeral, be there for my mom.

If there was any ever some sort of chance of fixing things

between us, it's gone now.

When I was 12, my stepdad raped me for the first time.

Then it happened 10 times after that.

When I told my mom about it, she refused to believe it.

She still does.

Everything had to be so fucking perfect in my family.

And you know what?

I don't care, OK?

I don't care that it happened to me 'cause it's not like fucking

caring could turn back time.

But my mom, she should have cared.

She should have cared enough to fucking help.

- I'm so sorry.

[organ music]

♪ ♪

- I'm glad you came.

- Yeah.

- Your hair looks nice.

♪ ♪

- It's OK.

♪ ♪

I didn't think you'd come.

- Oh, I heard this place has a nice open bar.

I owe you so much more than an apology.

I--

JACKSON: I don't want an apology, Cole.

I just want you.

- I'm madly in love with you, Jackson.

It terrifies me.

And I have all these parts of me,

these broken, damaged pieces, and I want you to see it all.

It's just I don't--

[jonathan sharp, "nicotine"]

♪ You were under my skin like a slow burn ♪

♪ Didn't know love could hit like that ♪

- I love you too.

♪ --I'd be the one to hold your world up ♪

♪ when you started to collapse ♪

♪ And maybe you knew it too ♪

♪ But you held your breath like a drag too deep ♪

♪ Like a truth unsaid ♪

♪ You were scared to want me ♪

♪ Scared to need me ♪

♪ Like I was nicotine ♪

- Ty.

- What are you expecting me to say?

- Nothing.

Nothing at all.

I just-- just hope you can at least listen, OK?

Look, I know there's nothing that I can

say that will make this right.

There's no excuse.

- Then don't make one up.

[soft piano music]

- This is why I haven't said anything

because I've been terrified, terrified for years

of losing you, hurting you.

- And you thought lying to me for my whole life

would prevent that?

- When would have been a good time to tell you?

When would this have been easy to do?

During the divorce?

Your childhood?

♪ ♪

Is it so unreasonable to understand

that I might have needed time to figure

out how to deal with this?

♪ ♪

All I can say is I love you.

I love you so much.

I always have.

♪ ♪

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

TYLER: Thanks for the ride.

COLE: Yeah, no problem.

Actually, Ty, can you hang back for a sec?

Do you mind?

- No.

- Good.

- Have a good night.

Love you.

- Love you too.

♪ ♪

All right, Ty, I know what's going on.

- Yeah?

And you think you're the person to be talking to me about it?

I barely even know you.

- Yeah, you're right.

You don't know me.

So let me tell you a little bit about me.

A few weeks ago, I saw my mom for the first time

in seven years.

And it will probably be my last.

Her choice, not mine.

- It's not the same thing.

- Yeah, you're right.

It's not.

My mother abandoned me.

Yours has been fighting for you this entire time.

No one's expecting you to be OK with all this.

But if you want help, if you want answers,

there's someone inside there who will always protect you,

even if you don't recognize that's what they're doing.

Who will always try to do the best for you,

even if she makes a mistake.

And who will always accept you no matter

how much shit you toss at her.

Tyler, you got a choice to make, all right?

We all have choices.

Just to make sure it's one you can live with.

All right.

[JONATHAN SHARP, "LEAVE THIS WORLD LONELY"]

♪ ♪

[engine starts]

♪ ♪

♪ So take my hand before it's too late ♪

♪ And don't let me leave this world lonely ♪

♪ I feel the war inside your chest ♪

♪ The way you drown in your own breath ♪

♪ Like loving me might tear the seams of the life ♪

♪ you built on quiet dreams ♪

♪ But what if the sky doesn't fall? ♪

♪ What if your heart was right all along? ♪

♪ What if love was never wrong? ♪

♪ And running is ♪

♪ Don't let me go where you won't follow ♪

♪ Don't let the fear steal our tomorrow ♪

♪ We are more than borrowed time ♪

♪ More than ghosts who lived a lie ♪

♪ So take my hand before it's too late ♪

♪ And don't let me leave this world lonely ♪

♪ One day, the sun will set on me ♪

♪ And you will trace my memory ♪

♪ With shaking hands and quiet shame ♪

♪ And wish you'd whispered my name before the silence ♪

♪ took my place ♪

♪ ♪

♪ So don't let me go where you won't follow ♪

♪ Don't let regret be your tomorrow ♪

♪ We are more than borrowed time ♪

♪ More than ghosts who lived a lie ♪

♪ So take my hand before it's too late ♪

♪ And don't let me leave this world lonely ♪

♪ You hold your breath when I get too close ♪

♪ Love was never meant to be a ghost ♪