Original subtitles

LOL, you laugh, you're out!

After four hours, all competitors are still in the game.

That's a first.

But Audrey Lamy's musical challenge,

to sing a song a cappella,

could trigger the first elimination.

That was so good.

-It's not over. -Someone has to be eliminated.

So now, everyone has understood the rules.

Now, we have to apply them.

No one should be speaking.

So, cue music!

But how are we supposed to...

Audrey.

No, it's bad romance.

Come in a bad romance

-Higher. -You're a bit low.

Caught in a bad rom...

There's a word missing.

What? No, wait.

-I had a little... -You can start again.

-Go on. -Take your time.

Go ahead.

...mance

I started where I'd...

-No! -Okay.

You have to do it seriously.

-Three, four. -Go on.

Encourage me silently.

Caught in a bad romance

Come in a bad romance

That depressed me.

Get a brain

Is she doing a cover?

-It's a cover. -It's not the words.

It's a cover.

Come in a bad romance

-That was extremely melancholy. -It was sad.

-Moving. -Are you okay, Jérôme?

-A bit Ed Sheeran. -Really?

-Vianney. -Sheeran.

Ed Chirac. Nice one.

You're in deep shit, aren't you?

Caught in a bad romance

I can't do it guys.

Yes you can.

...a bad romance

Oh, Jean-Pascal!

-Did your arm hairs stand on end? -Totally.

Mine fell out.

No, I can't.

Horrible.

Terrible. I'm dying.

Caught in a bad romance

Caught in a bad romance

I was suffering.

I was holding out, but I was suffering so much.

Come on, let it all out.

Wait, I don't have the beat.

Swallow whatever is stuck.

-He's trying to tell us something. -It's awful.

He's about to crack.

He's picturing the letters.

Focus, focus. Target, heart of ice.

I have to be an empty shell.

Come on, Alban.

-There are letters missing. -Yes. Lots of them.

Sorry, but we're not there yet.

...man...

...in a bad romance

Right.

That's not how it goes at all.

This song touches my heart.

You touched us too.

I want to break open the piano.

-It's a donut, not a piano. -Thanks, Audrey, well done!

Well done, Audrey.

The heat was really on.

I don't belong in any choir.

I'd like a third round.

Third round! Third round!

No third round because this is going to be raining cards.

-Oh, no! Wow! -Oh, no!

Dear, oh dear.

Yeah!

-He's got cards! -He has a red card!

-He has a yellow one and a red one. -Oh, wow!

-Congratulations everyone. -Thanks.

I laughed a lot. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one.

Dear, oh dear...

-Do you think it's you? -It's not you.

I'll start with a yellow card.

Look who is was.

-Of course! -Oh, yeah.

-Look at his face! -Yeah! I pushed you over the edge!

-Card for McFly, his first one. -I understand.

But there's another yellow card.

My, oh my!

...man...

-The are letters missing. -Yes.

My, oh my...

-You laughed there, Jéjé buddy. -If that wasn't a laugh, then...

I didn't see. I didn't realize.

I thought, "Shit, he's pressed the button.

"I'm no longer at the top."

Anyway, a career has ups and downs.

We're firm but fair.

You have to be careful. You get tired, let yourself go,

and forget you're laughing.

-But... -Oh, no!

-There are red cards! -A red one.

This is the start of the real bad news.

There are several red cards.

Oh, no!

It's a bloodbath!

Who is the first one to be eliminated?

I hope it's not me.

Great. I might act out the music, too.

Yes, Marina...

-That's not a laugh. -What is it then?

A little singing laugh, but one that eliminates you.

-Oh, no, Marina! Well done! -Marina, no!

Marina, let's see who will be accompanying you to the control room.

-He's trying to tell us something. -It's awful.

He's about to crack.

He's died.

No, Ivan!

Fuck, you're leaving?

Yes, but I understand.

Fuck. You were so proactive.

That's the mark of a warrior.

But it's not over yet.

And this is a first in LOL.

There's a third red card from Audrey's game.

No way! You're kidding me!

I'll let you see who this third red card is for.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, that laugh, bro!

So, Jean-Pascal, unfortunately, you're the third to be eliminated.

It's a red card for Jean-Pascal.

I was so pissed, bro.

I thought I was stronger, tougher.

I'm so sad!

That's it...

Three eliminated in one go, that's a first.

Well done, Audrey,

for that great musical experience.

Well done, Audrey!

-Very effective. -Thank you.

I haven't finished.

From now on, since you are the elite, smiling will now be penalized.

-Oh, no! -Smiling means a card.

That's even trickier.

We have to adapt to your level.

That's flattering and smart.

Well done, Philippe! Good decision.

Give it up for Jean-Pascal, Alban, and Marina.

Well done, Marina, well done!

No, I don't deserve applause.

I played very badly. That's why I've been eliminated.

You're joking, you played well!

I was devastated, for the charity!

I thought about my sons,

thinking they were going to kill me.

They want to be respected at school.

They won't be, because of me.

Sorry, honey.

Shall we say goodbye, everybody?

Caught in a bad romance

Once again, well done! We'll miss you.

Well, thank you, Mr. Ivanov. Thank you for stopping by. Goodbye.

Come on now, Jean-Pascal buddy. So sorry.

-Bye, JP! -JP! No hard feelings?

Well played.

Ah, please come in and take a seat.

Ah, JP, Alban, honestly, we were eliminated first.

How embarrassing!

I could have been eliminated ages ago.

Me too, in the first half an hour.

There are eight still in the game. Here we go!

Can't even smile. That's harder.

Smiling, that's tough.

The game is getting tougher for the remaining competitors.

Apart from Audrey and Redouane, they all already have a yellow card.

So now is the time to go on the offensive

and claim some more victims.

It's not right to pretend nothing has happened.

The game has lost some of its flavor, without Marina, Alban,

and JP. They've left a big void.

-Yes, it hurts. -It's really tough.

For me, too.

Well, come on, we're together.

And look. We've kept the best.

They kept the best!

It feels good to be actually laughing.

I'm making up for the past few hours.

It depends on what you mean by a real face.

Is that his face or is it a mask?

-No one has seen his real face. -I've...

Can I borrow that?

Raphaël!

Shall I hug or shave the walls?

A small razor and a bit boring. Not bad.

Alison is very funny.

-You don't expect it... -She's hilarious.

Where's Franck, the director?

The dir-actor.

Ladies and gentlemen!

-Awesome! -That's great.

Great. Just what we needed.

Fair play.

Joker card from Franck Gastambide.

He's going for it. He's playing his joker.

I'm still in it.

I didn't think I'd last a quarter-hour in this madhouse.

I'm getting more confident, and I tell myself to be more offensive.

Sit down, I'll give you the masks.

-Masks? -You've got masks too?

I'll be right back!

Jérôme is sleeping.

Jérôme is in the airplane.

In business class.

Audrey, you're really exceptional.

-You're so kind. -Your contribution was great.

And I really respect your dad, a marvelous artist.

-Who's that? -And your sister.

-André Lamy. -A great comedian.

And is he Lam-icable?

And when he's grumpy, they call him La-mean.

When he's sad, they call him Lamy-serable.

Not bad.

When she's slutty, Lam-easy.

-And when she lies, La-mythomaniac. -More.

La-mimolette is a very good cheese.

Yes.

Lamy-lord might be a very good old French song.

La-mirage makes us believe illusions.

Maybe a cat, La-meow.

When she's short, La-Mimie Mathy.

Fuck.

When she has foot fungus, they call her La-mycosis.

Let's take off the masks!

Oh, wow!

Are you ready?

-Are you ready? -Yes!

Yes, sorry.

Franck can really get to me,

I've seen so many of his films.

I love his humor too.

I'm very scared of him.

One, two, three!

Hi, you bastards!

Welcome to Kaïra Shopping!

Oh, yeah! The legendary Kaïra Shopping returns!

So, let me remind you of the show's premise.

-Moustène comes up with ideas... -Exactly!

Shut up, I'm doing the explaining.

He comes up with new services, new things to sell, etc.

-So, Moustène... -First item!

-First sketch! -Teeth sketch.

So, first item.

We used JP Zadi's teeth

to make an animal trap.

And you can use them at Halloween too, to scare the children.

Those are his real teeth, which we salvaged.

You can use them for anything.

Open your mouth. That's right.

-Second exclusive item. -Exactly.

The complete Redouane Bougheraba show.

That's right.

It all fits on a Post-it.

Let me explain. Stand aside. Get ready.

You, show the people who didn't see.

This is the complete Boughera show.

We agree. I'm looking you in the eye, I'm telling you now.

"Hey, fat guy in the front row!

"You in a relationship with a double cheeseburger?"

Massive!

I'm thinking, "Come on, don't crack, bite your lip."

There are quite a few McFly and Carlito albums.

Tons of albums.

Entire boxes that haven't been sold.

Truckloads of them.

There's sunscreen for Alison Wheeler.

Alban Ivanov's only diploma.

A diving certificate.

Next!

So, next, Moustène, next set, what exactly is it?

So regarding voices, you must have seen that film.

Cinema sound effects demonstration.

A bird at night time.

A baby crying at night.

People playing ping-pong.

Exactly, go to the other side, Moustène. Demonstration. Ready?

The ball. You be the net, you bastard.

That's what I'm doing.

-1-0. -Go on, sorry.

Net. Hey, the net!

Go on, catch it on the fly.

Now, last thing.

He's an amazing singer, he can imitate all the amazing singers.

You can do Claude François doing "La Marseillaise."

Yes, but I'm a bit...

Claude François. Jérôme Commandeur!

-I'm listening. -Claude François.

Arise, children...

-Who is it? -Claude François.

-Who? -Claude François.

Dance, you bastard!

Arise, children of the Fatherland

The day, the day... I need...

The day of glory has arrived

Thank you, Claude.

I stuck my tongue out throughout because I couldn't take it anymore.

I had to think about something else.

That was it. We tried to do something nice.

-I loved it! -It was insane!

I loved seeing you again.

I got such a kick out of that,

being reunited, seeing them enjoying the moment.

Well done bros! See you soon, bunch of bastards.

We were very happy to do it.

We'd missed it so much. Well done!

Thanks. Franck's crying.

Come on, I'm off.

Bravo, bravo!

A wonderful reunion.

Yeah, what a kick.

Great to see Medi Sadoun, Jib. Nice surprise.

-And no one laughed? -No, I don't think so.

How can we make them laugh?

You've been eliminated,

but the good news is you can get your revenge.

For example, there's police tape.

You mark out an area,

and people can't leave that area.

Not bad.

Then there are handcuffs,

to attach competitors to each other.

Or you can choose to go back...

And cuff ourselves to someone? I want to be cuffed to someone.

-Who? -Alison.

Very good idea.

-I want to go back in. -That's going to be beautiful.

And I'm allowed to laugh, awesome!

And I'm about to unleash the game's first revenge.

Let's go.

Oh, this is revenge, isn't it?

Yes, revenge.

Oh, I freaked out.

I'd like JP to come back.

Marina, you can go back in and cuff yourself to Alison.

-Go, Marina! -Go, Marina!

The Queen!

I'm sorry, Alison, I know you were expecting JP,

but it's me who's coming back,

and my revenge is that I'm going to get cuffed to you.

Alison Wheeler makes me laugh so much.

So I thought I'd try to weaken her, to tease her.

Well, I can really laugh. I can smile, I can live. Here you go.

Oh, shit...

Others deserve this more than me.

That's besides the point.

We shouldn't get cuffed together.

And that we poison each other.

With an arrow

Which deludes us We mustn't get attached

Love is beautiful

I adore love

-You're allowed to laugh? -I can do what I want.

That's really tough. Very unfair.

Being handcuffed to Marina like that,

now that's punishment.

Since we're in a circle, what's that game where

someone starts a sentence, someone adds...

-Exquisite corpse, folks. -Exquisite corpse.

I'll start a sentence.

We take it in turns, clockwise.

Audrey, you repeat the start of my sentence and finish it.

-I'll finish it. -And so on.

This toothpaste...

This toothpaste sitting there...

This toothpaste sitting there in my drawer is delicious.

-That's too long. -You added too much.

This toothpaste sitting there in my drawer...

-How do you manage? -To do what?

-Not laugh or smile. -I don't know anymore.

Do you think sad thoughts?

-I'm at the end of my rope. -Your dope?

I understand!

This toothpaste sitting there in my night drawer...

This toothpaste sitting there in my night drawer is not...

-This titpaste which... -Titpaste?

-Benchetrit, Benchetrit... -Samuel Benchetrit.

Zabou Breitman.

I'm just saying names.

-Burt Reynolds. -Leave me alone!

Marina is cuffed to me,

psychologically too.

She won't let go. It's tough.

And she's holding on tight, too.

She's got a really tight grip.

Bruno Le Maire. Have you read his book?

This toothpaste sitting in the night drawer isn't mine.

The Queen of England.

-This toothpaste which is... -Which is sitting.

Which is sitting in my night drawer is not mine.

It belongs...

To Zabou Breitman.

This toothpaste sitting there in my night drawer is not mine.

It belongs to...

Zabou Breitman.

Audrey has no cards yet.

-I don't understand why... -Keep going.

This toothpaste which is in my drawer...

Sitting there in my night drawer is not mine.

Clémenceau?

It belongs to Zaba...

-Zaba Breit... -Zaba, Zebe...

Oh, no...

Was it you?

The game was worth it, folks.

-Yeah! -Philippe!

Laugh all you want, but there are two red cards.

No!

Fuck, the pressure is on.

I'm afraid. Very afraid.

LOL, you laugh, you're out!