Original subtitles

LOL, you laugh, you're out!

They've been playing for one hour, and only Marina Foïs

has a yellow card.

But Jérôme Commandeur could bring down others

as he's the first to use his joker.

Fabrice Eboué!

Wow, a costume.

Why these clothes?

I'll ask you, dear friends, to wait just a moment.

I beg you.

There will be several key moments

-in this wild card. -Shit.

I'll just ask

the production team

to dim the lights,

because we will all

be switching to phase one.

The trust phase.

I don't know... I don't want him near me.

I'm leaving.

Right. We're going back in time.

It's 1983,

I live in Poissy, in Yvelines,

I'm a little kid.

Back then, I was immersed

in the Yvelines folk dance scene,

with the Two Feet, Two Clogs troupe

in Vernouillet.

It later became Les Ch'tios Ménestrels.

Of course, when you think of Les Ch'tios Ménestrels

you think of Jean-Carolin Moucheté.

Jean-Caro,

he was my first folk dance teacher,

and also my clog-maker,

with whom I made my first mahogany clogs

at the age of seven.

And Jean-Caro Moucheté,

I say this because he doesn't remember,

worked at Puy du Fou...

-Of course. -... because he was

the choreographer of the hostesses' goodbye

when you leave the park.

In other words, when you're leaving the parking lot, the hostesses

give you a little wave,

in a circle,

that was Jean-Caro Moucheté.

It's so good,

it's getting too dangerous.

So I have a technique, the slap in the face.

For several personal reasons, Jean-Caro isn't here.

Clogged intestines, he was admitted to Foch Hospital at night,

he was nervous about meeting you.

Let's move on to

the performance phase.

I'm laughing, I'm laughing.

So I'll show you a dance

close to my heart, it's the one I've always done.

A medieval dance...

-No. -Anything but a jig.

...created under François I,

a dance called "The Jerk."

I'm laughing, I'm laughing.

Of course, jerk dancers are called

"jerk-offs."

You can't call a dance that.

So I'm taking it out on the panda.

I'll ask the stage manager

to open the curtain.

Ah, dancers.

CONTROL CENTER

My little jerk-offs, step forward. I'm a bit nervous.

So then,

let me introduce you to Kathleen,

Pat,

Marie-Aude,

and Régis.

How did this beautiful story come about?

During the pandemic,

and I've said this several times before,

I moved to Poitiers.

Quality of life and all that.

So, during the lockdown,

between olive loaves and games of Clue,

we created a traveling group

called the Jerk Songs,

-in which we cover... -I'm laughing.

...well-known songs

while dancing

the Poitou Jerk.

With his Poitou team,

we're all going to laugh now.

Game over.

Here's an exclusive,

I'll come out with it.

We're currently expanding to the international market.

Marie-Aude didn't want me to say anything,

but I can't help it.

We're twinned with the committee of Pan-African Jerk traditions,

Nouakchott, Mauritania branch.

We're leaving in August, I think it's going to be nice.

So, for those of you interested,

it's close to Marina's heart,

we have an eco-group...

-Yes. -We're certified Green Clog.

That means we won't be sleeping at the hotel,

we'll be in a homestay.

-I'm laughing. -Carpooling in electric cars,

not hybrid.

-I'm laughing. -And we change underwear

-once a week. -I'm laughing.

By the way Marie-Aude, remember, Friday.

Communal dry

toilets.

We call it the "needs case."

In case anyone gets the urge...

I'm laughing, I'm laughing, I'm laughing.

...then make a wish,

-we say that... -It's hard.

...to make it more polite and discreet for everyone.

If someone has a wish,

go see Patrick, he'll take care of them.

It's very hard. But I have a technique.

I imagine that

Jérôme has a third eye.

I heard about it when I was looking for work,

it's a job interview technique.

Visualize. It's quite good.

Now we'll move to performance time.

Please, it might be tempting,

but don't film this with your phones.

We're involved in a court case with YouTube, don't add fuel to the fire.

I need to...

Let's get on with the show.

Oh, the clogs...

Alban is suffering.

So, what are we going to do?

We'll sing "The Priest's Maid" by Annie Cordy.

By who?

Annie Cordy, "The Priest's Maid,"

as a Poitou jerk.

Music.

I'm laughing, I'm laughing.

I'd really like to

But I can't

It's not easy To be fashionable

When you're the priest's maid

It's not easy To be stylish

When you're a girl like me

But when the the guard Who's a devil

Drags me by my feet

It scratches me It tickles me

It gives me ideas

I only do silly things Behind the church

I can't stop myself

No filming, please.

I'm the priest's maid

Stop the turntable.

Round of applause, please.

Bravo!

-Bravo! -Yeah, yeah!

Standing ovation.

-That was great. -A beautiful jerk!

A very nice joker card.

That Jérôme has talent.

Jérôme! Seriously, thank you.

I could have died laughing.

He's hot, he's good.

Awesome. It was a real pleasure to watch Jérôme's show.

Never mind the joker card, what a show!

I've no choice, I'm going in.

Philippe!

Who laughed?

Philippe, what a nice surprise!

Philippe!

Philippe!

-No. -Thank you

for that lovely Poitou jerk.

But let's get serious.

Oh, no!

Yellow card,

thanks to Jérôme!

Marie-Aude didn't want me to say anything,

but I can't help it.

We're twinned with the committee of Pan-African Jerk traditions,

Nouakchott, Mauritania branch.

-Yes! -A slow but nice one!

Oh, no!

Carlito!

No!

I couldn't help it, impossible.

I don't know how to say it, it's brilliant.

It's Jérôme.

Okay, see you later.

See you later!

-See you! -Thank you.

Thanks Philippe!

I'll get changed.

-Jérôme's the top guy. -Yeah, the main man.

Jérôme is this year's Pierre Niney.

Jérôme, the singer? Nice one, eh?

I soon understood that I couldn't try anything on Jérôme Commandeur.

He's got a big punch.

So my only chance is to make others laugh.

Okay, listen.

Is that it? "Okay, listen"?

That's it.

I do a lot of false starts.

I noticed.

-Looks that way. -He said, "Okay, listen."

-I start, but I can't continue. -No.

Then...

But anyway...

Yes, and then, at the same time...

-It's not always... -No.

-It depends, sometimes. -Do you...

A lot?

What's difficult, for me,

when playing with Anaïde,

is I'm putting myself in danger.

So I'm taking it easy.

-Alison. -Wait.

Sorry, it's intoxicating.

Do you know it?

-Okay, here we go. -It's like...

Jean-Pascal! Come and rap!

-Oh, yeah! -Oh, yeah!

-Come on. -That's good.

Come on, JP buddy.

Come on, let's go.

My name is Corinne

Corinne Ivanov

And I had a son called Alban

And Alban is the nicest one in the team

In fact I adore him

That wasn't that great.

-I've got one. -Go on Audrey!

Go on.

You say you're from the street It's a lie

People should know You grew up in Caen

Where's the gangster? Where's the bandit?

Al Capone Isn't from Normandy

Since you won your César You've no more worries

Looks like your dentist Is a billionaire

I liked you With your gap teeth

You sputtered so much But I liked it

You rap like my Uncle Bernard

You could have called your film "Simply Nerd"

-Bravo! -Thank you, bravo!

LOL.

What's tragic is that she spent a week

writing that.

Lame. Lame-o, bro.

You know those raps from the '80s.

Rap has evolved, Audrey.

Well, we still love her.

Would anyone like to slow dance with me?

Alison, would you mind if I charmed you?

No, go ahead.

-But let's sit down. -We'll sit down.

Care for a glass?

Yes, please.

-My treat. -It's empty.

I said I'd get you a glass.

-What do you do for a living? -I'm...

a masseuse-osteopath.

I care for people.

And you?

Parachutist and psychologist.

My technique involves getting people to skydive,

they relax and we talk.

At the end of the day, what is psychoanalysis?

Jumping into the void. You're right, it's the same.

-The best image. -Be careful, he's fragile.

He thinks everyone loves him. I love you.

Not everyone wants to sleep with you,

-they don't. -She wants to kiss you.

No.

No, I'm trying to talk to him and look him in the eyes.

We're being charming.

I was saying,

you've got beautiful eyes, you know.

-Thanks. -Would you like

to spend some time together?

I'd love to.

The only problem, JP, is that I'm going back to prison soon.

It's an electronic,

-what's it called, a tag? -A tag.

I must admit, it was very funny.

Extremely funny.

I didn't expect things to take such a turn.

What was your crime?

I don't know if I can say, this'll be broadcast.

Say it, you've got a tag, you've been sentenced.

Laughing isn't a crime. If you want to laugh, laugh.

That's the Bekhti method, it works.

I don't want to fall into my own trap.

It's like tripping on your shoelaces.

Honestly, it's unnecessary.

Would you like something to eat? We're not eating enough.

-That's kind. -Remember to stay hydrated.

-It's important. -You're a sweetheart.

When do we land?

I'll ask the flight attendant.

I laugh a lot in everyday life.

You have to find things to stop you laughing.

So I decided to eat.

Do you mind?

What haven't you eaten since the game started?

He's tried everything.

Jérôme Commandeur.

He's a public threat.

Laughter-wise.

I'll have to get him out early.

Is this brunch

or a TV program?

Jérôme, I'm asking you.

I'm laughing, I'm laughing.

It's a good question.

-Thank you. -And what's fatty doing, knitting?

Would you like a nibble?

Thanks, Audrey.

Jérôme hasn't tried what you brought.

Look!

It's breakfast.

-Did you bring him breakfast? -Blow.

Jérôme, come and have a bite to eat.

Take it to Jérôme, he hasn't eaten for 10 minutes.

I think about my failures

The failures of my life

And that's it.

I've just been talking to the studio chef.

You can't stop him. He's crazy.

-Jérôme. -Yeah?

What's wrong with him?

What you going to do, Jérôme?

What's Jérôme doing?

-It's okay, it's over now. -Do you want an armlock?

-Tell me. -I'm good.

Can we get some more trays? Jérôme is feeling peckish.

Go ahead.

Hilarious.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

I don't even want to see that. Sorry.

Oh, no!

Let's see!

Yeah, Fifi!

If Philippe's here, it's not good news.

Jérôme, it's tough!

Very tough. A nightmare.

Horrible.

I've got some bad news.

Someone laughed.

And got pregnant.

Here's the answer.

Roll tape.

Can we get some more trays? Jérôme is feeling peckish.

Go ahead.

Some...

Alban!

Alban!

Where are you?

What's going on?

You're a winner. What's going on?

But did you see what I had in front of me?

You and your fruit!

"How do you expect me not to laugh?"

I might leave Jérôme alone.

I may have chosen a Pokémon too big to start with.

Well done everyone. A lot is going on here.

The game re-starts as soon as the light changes.

Come on everyone, let's go.

Philippe, you won't get me again!

I won't laugh again! Philippe!

Let's get back to it!

More hummus? Eggplant dip?

-Did you say "hummus"? -Hummus?

-Yes... -Hummus

-or houmous, but with an H. -Rhummus?

Do you say "hummus"?

I've got these talent pills. Who wants some?

I've been taking them all my career

and I can tell you, I've come a long way.

I'm sitting on the talent faucet, so I can pour you a drink.

Sounds painful,

-sitting on the faucet. -Yes. I'm laughing.

Laughing, laughing.

Laughing, ha-ha.

I laugh too easily.

I'm a good spectator.

Anyway, I'm in trouble.

But I have to save my skin. I'm going to fight.

-Yeah! -A wonderful entrance.

Oh, wow. Look out, ladies and gentlemen.

She's playing her joker card.

Marina Foïs is taking the plunge.

Marina! Marina! Marina!

Marina Foïs is dangerous.

One look, one of her crazy phrases. She might get me.

-Wait. So, I... -Come on!

I'm going to test something on you.

It's true that

I get the feeling that people love me a lot.

I have a big Insta community, well, nothing compared with you.

But still, 583,000.

That's three times the town of Niort. Or half a Grenoble.

All that, plus my career

means that I've made a success of my life. So I don't want to

mess up my death.

So I've decided to prepare for my

funeral. I've written my eulogy.

It's a very good technique that. Because often,

people can't help laughing at funerals.

So the setting is...

-Okay. -No wait,

there'll be famous people at my funeral,

so Anaïde, can you go to the back?

Later...

You might get famous, you've still got time, so...

Franck, sorry,

but bald people are funny,

and my funeral is no laughing matter, so please don't come.

I'm so nervous, it's so embarrassing.

-We're with you. -But it's important for me.

Oh, no.

Who did she call in her list of contacts

to get the lectern from

The Newlywed Game?

It's... It's...

complete nonsense.

"Marina...

"M-A-R-I-N-A.

"M for magnificent.

"A for

"ardent... endearing.

"R for rad...

"for radiant.

"I for

"I for Italian.

"N for nourishing."

Oh, there's a typo...

Never mind. "Nourishing."

In fact, I...

I couldn't find an inspirational word starting with N.

"A is for

"for endearing."

Already had that...

It's a work in progress.

-It works. -It's good.

"Where shall I start?

"There's a lump in my throat,

"tears are welling up in my eyes

"and I can see her again..."

Sorry, but I'm really moved.

I won't be doing the actual thing since I'll be dead.

Well, my body will be there, but...

I'll hopefully be in Actress-Heaven.

So back to the emotional moment.

"There's a lump in my throat, tears are welling up in my eyes, and I can see her,

"a little ball...

"of energy and tenderness.

"She died too young, from the effects of..."

Look, I left that blank,

because I don't know

what I died of.

If it's an illness I can say,

"Died of...

"fucking cancer."

"Fucking" is vulgar. Maybe "blasted cancer."

That sounds like an '80s variety show.

I'll need to think.

If I died in a road accident,

"Fucking clutch, fucking brakes..."

We'll have to look at the technical report.

I'm dying laughing.

I was holding my mouth like this.

It was very difficult.

To resume. "Marina,

"can be summed up in three dates.

"1989.

"Failed to get into the Higher National Conservatory of Dramatic Arts.

"2017.

"Won the 'Death Burger' on TMC's Burger Quiz.

"2029.

"Won the César award for best actress."

And about time too.

"Very politically committed, she did a lot for France.

"In 1976, she created the RPR conservative party.

"She was only six at the time,

"and like children back then, she was right-wing.

"She met Jacques Chirac

"and later, judoka David Douillet."

Really?

I'm a bit disappointed, I thought I'd done more for France. But hey...

Marina Foïs, deadpan, fires a bullet like that,

that you don't expect. It's dangerous.

So, I'd like someone

to speak.

So, a close friend.

Maybe Jérôme, would you mind playing

-the close friend? -Play the friend.

You're not being asked to... right.

-Make an effort. -You want me to...

What do I do?

You don't clap at funerals.

What do I do? Oh, so I read...

Okay.

"Because that was what

"Marina was about.

"Making a child laugh."

Making them laugh.

"Painting smiles

"on old people's faces.

"That was Marina.

"A real

"little paintbrush of joy."

Great. Thanks.

There, fold your paper.

You've finished, fold your paper.

And gather your thoughts.

Look like you're thinking.

-Don't you know how to do it? -I do.

I'm on it.

Are you unmoved? Or a bad actor?

I really find that funny. And I said to myself, "No,

"Stop right now."

Too dangerous.

That was okay.

Not bad. I'll do the finale,

I imagine, or I hope that there'll be people who are are actually moved.

Please play the Mozart song.

Is it a cremation?

It's a "crème anglaise."

-Goodbye, Marina. -Goodbye, Marina.

Thanks for everything.

-Bravo! -Bravo!

-Bravo! -Bravo!

Wow, that was good, so brilliant.

MISS HER

She put me in danger. She was very good.

-Bravo! -Bravo, Marina.

I know there were some boring bits.

-It was all super. -It was great.

Makes you want to die.

-I'm going. -Where are you going?

I'm going home, and when I've won, I'll come back.

-Okay. -Would you like us to come with you?

No, I'll either take a taxi,

or get public transport.

-Okay. -Alison.

How about a Sunday in the Countryside moment?

Don't eliminate me, I'm a woman, I can cancel you.

Jérôme is on the attack again. He's formidable.

What I'd like to know is...

So, we ate your leek pie.

What part of yourself do you put into your cooking?

I put my heritage,

I also put...

the people who are no longer here.

I put time, which passes.

When I add an ingredient,

it's as if everything...

-Combines? -...accumulates

to make other people happy.

-So later on, were going to the stables. -Yes.

I like horse riding.

With Danièle Évenou and Jacques Dessange,

the two other guests.

Does your back hurt?

Would you happen to have a question for Danièle Évenou?

Yes.

For you, Danièle,

what is charisma in 2023?

What is charisma? Good question.

-Shall we join her? -Let's go.

We haven't spoken about my latest news.

Are you still in the play...

-Yes. -...at the Théâtre des Nouveautés.

My Neighbor is a Loose Woman.

-A big success... -In Avignon.

-In Avignon. -Fringe section.

Shall we go join Danièle Évenou in the stables?

Let's go.

Well, there have been a lot of attacks

from one of the competitors from the start.

It deserves a reward, which could help

whoever gets it to take down more than one competitor.

It's time for one of Fifi's Weapons.

Fifi's Weapon.

Fifi's Weapon!

-He's here! -Come on!

Well done everyone. You're all unbelievable.

One of you has played particularly aggressively,

causing three yellow cards

since the game started.

I'll let you see who.

FIFI'S PET

It's Jérôme Commandant.

-Thank you, Fifi. -What I suggest

is that you go to the Fifimaton

to choose your Fifi Weapon.

FIFIMATON DON'T SMILE, YOU'RE ON CAMERA!

So...

Jérôme, you can leave the Fifimaton,

you've chosen.

It should turn.

Look, something is happening.

I'm not ready.

It's a weapon of mass destruction.

Look out!

LOL, you laugh, you're out!