All language subtitles for LOL.Qui.rit.sort.S04E01.I.Cant.Help.Laughing.FRENCH.WEBRip.AMZN.en

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Original subtitles

This year, our candidates are training like true laughter athletes.

And they all want to take the trophy home.

Let the competition begin.

So...

let's see if the champion jokers are ready.

I'll tie them in knots, smoothly and with style.

Liar.

You're not 20 any more.

See you later!

BEST LAUGHS VOL. 4

Yeah, a hard worker. I like that.

May the force be with me.

Oh, yeah! A heavy hitter.

Mother Hubbard! Yes!

-Hello, dear viewers. -Hello, France.

We're live for the 100 meters final.

-It's starting. -Is that our champion?

Exactly. He didn't come alone, look.

Whassup, losers?

They're off.

What power! Nice machine.

Nice machine. Handling that, it must be... Gosh.

What are you talking about?

-And you? -The car.

Right, me too.

Penalty, my friend!

Okay, wise guy, back to the locker room.

"Running late, sorry."

-What? -"Love you."

Alban...

Hey, Fifi!

Take notes.

Fight.

Awesome!

He's showing off.

Where's the fault?

Oh, yes...

It's going to be lively.

LOL, you laugh, you're out!

-Holy cow! -Easy.

Hello everyone,

and welcome to the fourth season of LOL.

Look at this magnificent set.

After three memorable seasons,

we thought we'd spice things up with some new features.

This set might look perfectly harmless,

but it's bursting with well-guarded secrets.

I've hidden some secret weapons

to reward the most aggressive players.

For the moment, they're well hidden.

But anyway.

I'll let you in on a secret.

First there is a weapon called the...

And of course, not to forget the... No.

I won't tell you everything now.

But it's going to be extraordinary.

-He's drinking out of a salad bowl. -Big people need big drinks.

JP's mother JP's mother

I'm not gonna make it.

-The guy's called McFly. -That's me.

We were in a madhouse.

Joker card!

Fabrice Eboué.

I'll show you a dance called "The Jerk-Off."

I'm laughing, I'm laughing.

Tomorrow, the day after, I'll still be laughing.

Let's open the door of happiness.

Redouane?

I'm shaving the walls.

That's a dog.

LOL.

So, action.

Send in the LOL Season 4 contestants.

Marina Foïs.

Drama films, comedy, theater,

she's perfect in all of them.

Oh, shit.

Zero.

Okay.

It's an honor to have her with us. Marina Foïs!

I'll close the door. Am I the only one playing?

They had me on first. I get what Amazon Prime production are saying.

"Marina, we're counting on you."

"MF." Mitterrand François.

That's my stuff.

I'll put the turd here.

Someone will think it's a turd.

It looks like the apartment of some very wealthy people

who spent it all on their little girl.

They blew all their savings on the kid.

Jérôme Commandeur!

Actor, director, comedian.

Something tells me he's not here for a laugh.

Just as well, that's the point.

Welcome to my game,

LOL, you laugh... you laugh...

-You laugh, you leave. -Yes. Welcome.

It's great to be on such a brown, grey set.

Dull colors.

-It's the shades... -Greige.

Beige, greige...

You don't turn up to this like a dinner with friends.

You're on your guard.

This fluorescent,

shiny, flashy set... puts you under pressure.

Oh, my gosh.

You can make jokes out of this.

If the guy doesn't know who I am, watch me.

It's like an airport thing. You know, Paris Orly airport?

That's you.

Oh, wow!

Yeah.

It's not Jérôme's face, it's a boiled egg.

They've transf... That's...

It's illegal. I don't know, it's disgusting.

-It's not very nice. -No, you're more handsome than that.

CONTROL CENTER

Marseille, baby! Redouane Bougheraba.

The king of impro and roasts.

Great weapons in LOL.

-People I love! -What's up?

Welcome.

Redouane's deadly, I've seen him on stage. I don't have the weapons.

He speaks in punchlines.

It'll be... It'll be...

It'll be very difficult.

We'll give you your paddle.

Look. They put a glove box where my neck should be.

Look. You're okay.

Those are some glasses.

-How handsome. -Okay.

You look as trashy as you should be.

Alison Wheeler.

It's sublime. I love it.

Actor, television, film.

We love how she remains serious,

while making everyone laugh out loud.

-Hello. -Alison!

I heard a noise.

Great, Alison.

Hello Alison.

Did you steal it?

What's inside?

Oh, it's decorative.

It's polystyrene. You're eating polystyrene.

-I'm going to block my passages. -No.

Alison can be a bit like Marina, a bit...

not quite quirky, but very unique.

Just my humor. She might make me lose.

This is the main room.

The main room.

Over here, we have the dressing room with your personal items, to make people laugh.

Have you been here long?

-Since yesterday? -Three days ago.

Oh, yeah.

I'm in Marina's home.

I feel welcome, it's cool.

I feel like she's kind

but at the same time, she has a hidden defect,

like an old car.

Oh, wow.

A lot to laugh about here.

Meet Jean-Pascal Zadi.

Winner of the César for Best Promising Newcomer

for his film Simply Black.

Simply funny, and simply a serious competitor.

I mean business, I'll tell you that right now.

We're going to laugh.

No.

-Are we allowed to laugh now? -We can.

-I laughed, I was afraid. -No, you can.

Hello, France.

Frankly, it's going to suck. I intend to be

an offensive candidate.

Because I'm from the streets,

it's not a game. You dig?

I'll make them explode.

Redouane Bougheraba, wassup?

Give me a hug. Don't be so competitive.

-That's right, we did it. -That's it. We did it.

Jean-Pascal,

I've known him for a while. We like to tease each other.

It's a sign of love.

Cruel but kind.

So, JP Zadi, sorry, but you're going to be my victim.

Wow.

That's quite something.

-A ficus. -Of course.

McFly and Carlito.

They're up there with the biggest French YouTubers.

Do you smell that?

Let me guess. Defeat?

-Victory. -Victory, shit.

It'll be interesting as they'll be rivals in LOL.

-How are you, my homies? -How gangsta!

-I'm also from the street. -Wassup, homie?

-All good, hanging loose. -Us too.

Do you know where we're from? Bois-Colombes.

Those two are going to be tough.

Even though it's each man for himself,

it's Chip and Dale. Salt and Pepper.

You know if you're facing two of them, it's going to be a problem.

I fear them massively.

One closet for two?

-This is an outrage. -Wait.

-It's no big deal. -Discrimination.

Being here is quite something. Look.

Oh, my!

Meet Anaïde Rozam.

Actor, comedian,

she does very funny characters on social media.

-Yo! -Hi!

-Anaïde Rozam! -Hey, Anaïde!

Stop, you're embarrassing me.

I love Anaïde Rozam.

I know her well. We started out on television together.

When in character, Anaïde could get me.

You have to guess which is your shelf.

The first one, obviously. Youth.

I'm the youngest and I think they're going to go after me.

But right now, we're not on the offensive,

so I'll say it clearly, I'm being a total hypocrite.

I'm so happy with you. There's a good vibe.

We're closer than they were in Season 3.

CONTROL CENTER

It's starting.

There are lots of colors, it's beautiful.

Alban Ivanov!

We know him for his shows, his film roles,

but he started out in improv.

So, one to watch closely.

Hello, Mr. Ivanov.

-Hello. -Welcome.

Thanks.

Alban is one of my favorite comedians.

Just watching him waiting for something makes me laugh.

-How are you? -Hi, Jean-Pascal!

How are you, Alban Ivanov? I love you.

Your teddy bear side, it's so...

I'm laughing already.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

Franck Gastambide.

He's had a string of hit films.

Let's hope he's as successful here.

Ladies and gentlemen.

What a warm welcome! Franck's very popular.

Minister.

It looks like my balls kissing each other.

-What? -My balls kissing each other.

I attack since I know I'm in danger.

I don't jibe like Alban, I don't jibe like Redouane,

I'll just try not to be their lunch.

Okay, here we go.

Plenty of things to eat. So that's nice.

Audrey Lamy!

She's turning up with all her energy and talent.

I haven't come empty-handed.

We'll see if she can make it to the final like her sister Alexandra in Season 1.

Hello!

Audrey!

I'm so happy to meet you.

This will be excruciating.

We have some very powerful characters.

Marina, with Jérôme, that's what I'm most afraid of.

I'm thinking, "What have I got myself into?"

This community center is nice!

We're having a nice Wednesday afternoon.

That's it, they've all arrived.

It's time to start the game.

Hello!

Shit, it's Fifi!

Philippe Lacheau. The pressure is on, guys.

Take a seat. Sit down.

Make yourself comfortable.

-Can I sit next to you? -Yes.

Hello everyone.

-Hello, Philippe. -Hello, Philippe.

Welcome to this new season of LOL.

What a cast!

I'm so happy to see you all here.

Before we start the game,

a reminder of the rules.

At the slightest laugh, you'll hear this.

-JP! -It's you, for sure!

It's you, JP!

That's a yellow card, first warning.

-First warning. -At the second laugh,

it's a red card, and the end of the game for the person laughing.

The pressure is on.

Well, not quite the end

because those eliminated can get their revenge

from the control room.

I've prepared several diabolical tools

for this purpose.

So when you hear this...

Scary, huh?

It's a revenge.

An eliminated person is taking revenge.

You have a joker card

allowing you to take the stage for three minutes

in order to make your rivals laugh.

And they, of course, must

bite their cheeks and resist.

There's a great new feature this season,

I've come up with some awesome gifts for the most offensive

-amongst you. -How sweet.

These are called "Fifi Weapons."

When you hear this...

Fifi weapon.

-That's good. -Oh, yeah.

...it's a surprise for my favorite.

They are real weapons to help you make the others laugh.

Fifi's weapons, good idea, but for us it sucks,

they're ways of being eliminated.

But it's a good idea. It could have been mine.

Remember, your charities are counting on you.

The person who wins this season

will win €150,000 for their charity.

That's great.

But rest assured, the other charities are also in for a treat.

Listen up everyone,

from now on,

when you hear this...

it means the game is starting.

So laugh while you can. In a few seconds, you won't be able to.

Good luck everyone.

Thanks, Fifi!

What a crazy game!

This is going to be wild.

There are some big hitters here. I'm dealing with some real clowns.

The atmosphere is really intense.

LOL Season 4, here we go!

-This is it. -It's starting.

I want to laugh. I really want to laugh.

I can't make eye contact with you.

Shall we stay apart?

Don't point at me, it's rude.

I'm diving right in, you're horrible.

I'm not going to play straight away.

I'd like some coffee.

They're up to the classic tricks.

Eating, trying to isolate.

Playing the trumpet.

I already really want to laugh.

In fact, I'm laughing, laughing...

I'm trying an experiment. I'm not sure it'll work.

I'll talk to my brain.

Every time I want to laugh,

I'll say, "I'm laughing."

"I'm laughing, I'm laughing."

I'm laughing.

-Let the war begin. -Let the war begin.

This is war.

We've all come to share

The friend

The breakfast friend

Five, four, three, two, one

Always at the right time

With his bread and croissants

The friend

The friend

CONTROL CENTER

The only trick I've found to prevent me from laughing

is to squeeze the very tip of my tongue.

It's not a soft tongue at all,

it's taut. It's straight, solid,

hard, it's...

like a little cat.

That's it.

Yes, Fifi darling.

Look, it's going quite well.

I'm not doing badly.

Well, Audrey, fine.

I sense she's quite calm.

-She's sensitive. -Send my love.

-Yes. -She sends her love.

-Marina, Fifi? -Yes, all my love, Fifi.

Yes, I'll let you work.

It's true there's never enough time to...

-Okay, see you later. -Who is it?

-Fifi. -Does he think the program is good?

Alison is asking me what you think of the program.

He thinks it's not bad,

a bit slow to get going, compared to 3.

-Season 3, of course. -The All Star.

It's not weaker profile-wise, I wouldn't say that,

-there are some famous people. -Some good-natured people.

-Amazing sidekicks. -More common...

-More common. -That's right.

-More urban. -Yes.

-Somewhat gritty. -We've left the affluent Marais.

Can I call Ivory Coast?

Please, wait...

Redouane wants to call Ivory Coast.

Go ahead.

They're crazy.

How about a little activity...

Yes. Let's do it.

I'd like to jokerize my pussy right now.

Okay.

I'm laughing, I'm laughing, I'm laughing.

I'm saying I'm laughing, that does not mean I'm laughing.

You were vulgar, I was shocked, I went, "Oh!"

No!

So quickly, I've never seen anything like it!

Why?

Oh, dear.

Fifi.

I hope it's not me.

Oh, Fifi

Oh, Fifi fi fi fi

What a welcome.

Oh, my Fifi

You make me want to come back more often.

You can guess why I'm here.

-Yes. -Oh, dear.

Bad news.

First yellow card.

I'm sorry.

It's the fastest a card has ever been handed out.

Look who it was.

Can I call Ivory Coast?

Please, wait.

Redouane wants to call Ivory Coast.

Go on.

How about a little activity?

Yes, let's do it.

-I'd like to jokerize my pussy right now. -Yeah, all right.

-Okay. -Oh, my gosh.

-Sorry. -Oh, wow, oh, wow!

"I'd jokerize my pussy," it's hilarious.

Remember that expression.

To jokerize...

your pussy.

Hours later, I think even tomorrow,

the next day,

Monday...

I'll still be laughing about it.

-So I've only got a yellow card? -You're not eliminated.

But do it again and you're out.

I'm going to lose very soon.

Learn your lesson, you're still here.

-Thanks everyone. Good luck. -Thanks, Fifi.

-Thanks. -See you later.

Oh, Fifi fi fi

Fifi!

Oh, Fifi fi fi fi

Okay, here we go again.

Here we go again, no more laughing.

-Alban, what are you doing? -I'm allowed to drink water!

He's drinking from a salad bowl!

Big people need big drinks.

Audrey, you're not allowed. It's only for fatties.

How many kilos do you have to weigh to use the bowl?

You can't play.

Jérôme, there are big drinks.

I'm laughing, I'm laughing, I'm laughing.

I'm laughing.

The strategy I'm going to use

is to rely on visuals.

I pull a silly face and you laugh. Bingo.

Bingo.

The eyes. The eyes of a madman!

He sat on a gearshift again.

What's wrong, JP?

-Nothing. -Feeling weak?

Leave me alone.

My yellow card might have given me a boost.

I'm going to attack hard.

I don't want to leave.

Can I show you something? Look.

Marina is on the attack

with a fake tattoo of Jean-Pascal Zadi.

Will it work?

I did this because I loved the film Simply Black.

It's great that it has

a political message and lots of humor.

No one spoke about that like you. I've got a crush.

Do I need to elaborate?

I got your face tattooed on my calf,

but you fixed your teeth. I've got your old teeth here.

Now I have to get laser removal,

tooth by tooth,

incisors, premolars,

-front teeth. -You're doing this?

-Are you attacking me? -I suggest

you get your teeth changed back, so my tattoo is accurate.

That's all I ask.

Careful, careful.

You're very mean, Marina.

Because look. You can see they're your old teeth.

I'd have to add normal teeth like you have now.

Too expensive and time-consuming.

Think about it.

You don't have to say "yes" straight away.

Don't be selfish.

Okay?

Seriously, I almost had a fit.

Marina Foïs is evil.

That was close.

Can you get in a circle?

This is a little game for everyone.

So, McFly's the summer camp counselor.

Let's see.

This game is called "The Too-Honest Song."

We'll sing the chorus together,

then during the verse, we'll each confess something unbearable.

Go on then, McFly.

Okay. I'll give you the chorus.

Say something very honest about yourself, very sincere.

Something you can't normally say.

-Okay. -Much too honest.

The chorus goes like this, listen.

We are honest

Much too honest

Listen.

We are honest

Much too honest

It's starting.

We were contacted Just ten days ago

To do this program

Because someone backed out

Thanks to Blanche Gardin

We're going to give more money To charity

Is it true? Yes, It just goes to show it's worth

Saying things

Come on, let's go!

We are honest

Far too honest

Who's going for it?

I'm in love

With a chick I met at Rungis Market

Rungis

-She's much older than me -Than you

It doesn't matter, love is blind

And this chick is JP's mom

I love her

She's much older than me

And that's what delights me

Your mother, JP, I love her

I love her madly

It doesn't matter if I'm honest

I'll continue.

It's your mother that I want in my bed

-We are honest -We are honest

Much too honest

I'm laughing, I'm laughing.

Redouane doesn't have much talent

The public should think twice

Yes.

Twice

Before going to his shows

On top of that, they're insulted

I think it sucks To be insulted

By a guy who's not very thin besides If you know what I mean?

We're honest

Much too honest

Everyone!

Sounds more like group therapy than LOL.

Much too honest

Who has bad breath?

I won't say who But they're in this circle

I used mouthwash this morning

Stop saying no That would mean it's me

I brushed my teeth Yesterday, this morning, just now

La Zarra 2.0

Okay, it's Anaïde Rozam who stinks Come on

We're honest

Much too honest

Yes!

This season of LOL is a madhouse.

It's not...

It's okay, it's okay.

-He's honest -We're honest

Much too honest

I've never cried laughing like that, it's mad.

That's good.

We're honest

Much too honest

That was great, bravo. It was really great.

-A good idea. -Good use of your scream, bravo.

-It was great. -Thanks, Marina.

-Thanks to those who did not take part. -Bravo!

I don't know how they do it, I wouldn't have lasted two minutes.

We had a great time, except for JP's mother.

McFly's song was very, very funny.

I was really in danger.

I told myself, "Go on,

"don't be afraid. I have to make them laugh."

I knew you were a rascal.

Oh, my gosh.

First joker card.

From Jérôme Commandeur.

Oh, my gosh.

His little wig, crooked.

It was giving me a lump in the throat.

Bravo.

The guy's wearing clogs.

Now I'm helpless.

LOL, you laugh, you're out!

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