Original subtitles

I'm sorry for doubting you. A Beautiful Mind actually slaps.

I used to watch it once a week

for a year when I was, like, 13.

So you see what I mean now, right?

John Nash basically thinks his way through his schizophrenia.

Like, instead of taking his medication, which he hates,

he uses logic to separate the sane from the insane

inside his own mind.

That's what I'm gonna do,

with my dumb bipolar disorder.

Right.

And you, are gonna be my Jennifer Connolly.

I'm gonna watch while you get electric shock therapy?

Hopefully not. You're just gonna like,

be there for me and have a perfect face.

But, if you went back on

the lithium, the depression would piss off...

I can do a bit of depression. I'm great at depression.

I've got it down to a fine art.

Stay in bed, barely move, minimal human contact.

OK. But how do we get your mum to stop texting?

My advice? Go and see your doctor,

tell them you're off the lithium,

get their blessing, would they give their blessing?

Probably.

Dr Goulding checked out of his job years ago.

He'll just do whatever I say.

Perf, then I can tell your mum you've had

the psychiatric thumbs up and she'll back off.

I'm not getting changed.

I didn't expect you to.

This programme contains strong language, adult humour and scenes some may find distressing

Come in.

You're not Dr Goulding.

No. Er, Dr Goulding was very unfortunately in

a massive car accident at the weekend

and he may in fact be, erm, paralysed.

OK could, erm, I maybe see him on Face Time?

Like if someone else could like hold up the phone or...

I'm Dr Burrows, and you must be Margaret.

Maggie.

Oh, that's the, er,

Stability Tri-N-gle.

It's my life's work.

Nnn, nourish, that's good habits,

Nnn, network, that's an active social life,

and Nn-deavour.

Your work.

It really is all we need to stay grounded.

Do you have any other shapes or...?

Not peer reviewed.

So, Dr Goulding's notes...

You've being diagnosed with Bipolar Two for six years,

and you're a writer...

SHE SIGHS

..what ki, what kind of writing do you do?

Playwright. Oh, good.

You've been taking lithium for about, about five years?

Yeah, I've actually decided to come off the, erm,

lithium, I think it's... You mustn't do that.

Don't do that. You won't do that, will you?

Erm, I already have. What? Wh, when?

A few weeks... Weeks?

It makes it, like, impossible to write,

which is like the bulk of, if not all of, being a writer.

My last play was terrible, and I think it's because of the lithium.

OK, that's OK, that's OK, it's absolutely fine,

what we're gonna do,we're just gonna start again,

what was the dose that you were...

I, sorry, erm, no, no, I, I, I can't go back on it,

because I, I need to be able to do my job,

and it's, like, it's the only thing I'm good at,

and I can't work in an office because Excel is impenetrable.

Maggie, are you self-harming?

No. Mm-mm.

Not, not really, it's more like, just like,

self-irritating.

And are you having suicidal thoughts?

I don't think I should say.

I think I'm probably gonna have to admit you.

Oh, Jesus, no, that, erm, that is not necessary...

Listen, going cold turkey is extremely ill-advised.

It brings back all the bipolar symptoms,

suicidal ideation,

the lack of sleep, the looking terrible.

So, what else is new. No.

I just think I need to come off the lithium for, like, a month.

A month? Do I do I look insane to you?

Erm...

OK, erm, how about a couple of weeks,

I, I would, I would just really love the opportunity to try the, erm...

Stability triangle.

I just think it's just like such an innovative theory.

One week. And you come back,

providing proof that you've been triangulating.

Perf.

Gonna be watching you.

What's her deal?

She had a patient kill themselves on the ward last month.

Doesn't that kind of come with the territory?

Not just any patient.

One with loads of Instagram followers.

No, you can't kill an influencer.

Apparently, there's a law suit, so, she's kind of...

PHONE BUZZES ..on edge.

Did she make this meme herself?

I want you to take a step back slightly

and look at the bigger picture.

You want to sell our dead father's bar,

so you can build a bunker in your garden.

It's not just about the bunker.

I'm trying to make plans for the future, Eddie. Like adults do.

I'm keeping the bar, Jay. I'll simply buy you out.

Oh, with what money?

You famously think that savings accounts are for cowards.

I'm resourceful.

Thank you for the chat. I will get back to you ASAP.

SHE SCREAMS

Please just fuck off.

I've heard worse greetings from that beautiful mouth.

Theodora. It's good to see you.

You have ten seconds to get out of the bar.

Klent, get the rake hammer.

Dear Theodora, I have come here today to make amends for

the way I treated you during our time together.

I have recently completed a three week discovery journey

with The Vergebung Group.

What's that, a Nazi research facility?

As a result of deep seated emotional trauma,

the way I've conducted myself in my romantic relationships has not been

up to the standard I want to hold myself to.

I've read Michelle Obama's biography since last time.

I don't take shit anymore.

Theodora Rushton, I am sorry for any pain or suffering

I may have put you through...

I'm a brick fucking wall now Jonah. It's not gonna happen.

..while my soul fought a battle to survive.

Will you forgive me?

What's up? Is there a rat?

Yeah, a fucking massive one. SHOO.

Where is it?

Why did she pick today of all days for a reasonable ultimatum?

Gorgeous girl.

OK. I haven't got long.

Sally Wainwright needs me to go by and fix her printer.

Now, nobody liked your play.

Mm.

These things happen.

Er, yeah, The Guardian said it was "worse than most crimes".

And that's very sad,

but you can't just disappear off the face of the earth.

Now your commission at The Furlong is in trouble.

You've owed them a first draft for months.

It is becoming uncomfortable to represent you.

Hey, girlie,

I have just been having some like mental health stuff and, er...

Your mental problems are

the only reason you've gotten away with this for so long.

Now, The Furlong have given you until the end of the week.

After that, you're in breach of contract,

and I do not work with writers who breach their contracts. Understood?

Yeah.

I have to go.

I have got to get to Sally's before her five pm milk bath.

You have until Friday, Maggie.

Thing is, Mum really wanted me to keep going with Geography

because I'd got an A,

but I just really loved drama,

oh, for our final piece I wrote this jukebox musical all

about World War Two using the music of Pink...

Jade? Jade, is that correct?

Yeah. Like Jade Goody, my mum loves Big Brother...

OK, erm, so Jade one really important thing about writing

for theatre is that you have to be really quiet when you're doing it.

Why?

Because that's what an audience does.

and you have to think of yourself as an audience when you write.

Wow!

I'd never thought of that.

So, what you're gonna do is you are gonna write

the first draft of a play for me.

Can it be about World War Two? Still got some stuff to say...

No. Erm so you're gonna write a first draft for me.

Doesn't have to be good, about 90 minutes,

and I pitched it as a two hander about climate change

so it's gonna have to be that, unfortunately.

But it'll be in your name?

Yeah, exactly.

But, I...

Do you pay me?

Jade, being paid for creative work before the age of 25

is something made up by your generation.

It's, just,t's not realistic so...

OK. Look...

..everyone has to start somewhere.

Do you know that show Fleabag?

Guess who wrote the first draft of that?

God speed.

PHONE NOTIFICATION BUZZES

PHONE NOTIFICATION BUZZES

What the fuck?

What's going on? Why's your flat full of teenagers?

They're Jade's friends.

I've told them we're workshopping a play.

It's an emergency.

My psychiatrist followed me on Instagram.

That's definitely illegal.

I tried to go outside and make real sane person content, but,

I couldn't get past the front door.

You've got to hand it to Gen Z,

they really know how to fake happiness online.

They're ready for you now, Maggie.

Are we a hundred percent sure, A Beautiful Mind is working?

Totally. I can feel my brain adjusting to a less medicated state.

Just need to return to horizontal life and I'll be grand.

We've posted those for you Maggie.

How's the bar?

Jay's claiming he's found a buyer.

Snake. Oh, no, it's fine.

I'll find the money somewhere. Oh, in the meantime,

Jonah left this on my doorstep this morning.

Is that meant to be you?

Wheremst does one even get something like that made?

And why would I want it?

Am I supposed to display it in my own living room?

He's given you Page three baps.

I can't even sell this.

Oh, let me have it.

It's comforting. For when you're not here.

Hey, Doctor B,

I'm just in the middle of a yoga class...

Where are you really, Maggie?

Because I am sending an emergency team to you right now.

What no, err no, you can't, you can't do that.

Because I'm having a dinner party with my friends

and my agent and with an all-vegan menu.

What? Yeah, I'm having a vegan dinner party

with my close friends and my agent,

to thank her for the contracts.

Oh. Well, I wouldn't want to interrupt anything so, er, stable

but I look forward to seeing it on Instagram.

Call our friends. I'm having a dinner party.

Who's cooking?

I am.

KNOCKING AT THE DOOR

That's my agent, Ryan, take this shit out of the grill.

I got your text. Your laptop froze?

Is it doing the spinny wheel thing?

Actually, I think it was just sleeping,

but now that you're here, please do come in,

I'm having one of my spontaneous weekday dinner parties...

Oh, no, no. I'm not a big fan of spontaneity.

Vanessa, I insist you come in.

OK, well maybe for one...

Everyone, erm, Vanessa is here, please can we get her some wine.

Give me strength.

Can everyone, er, just look really happy for a sec?

Are there lychees in this pasta bake?

Yes, Anya.

It adds a note of fruitiness to what otherwise would be

a very unsexy dish.

According to who?

Calum Best. It's the only cookbook she owns.

PHONE BUZZES

How is everything going with the bar, Eddie?

Anya said Jay's being talking about selling it?

Oh, it's nothing.

I'm buying Jay out, but nothing will change...

Oh, well, that's good, Eddie.

God, it'd be awful to lose your dead father's bar.

I can't even fathom it.

Well, you don't need to fathom it.

So, how do you know Maggie?

Oh, I'm her mentee? From Creative Mentors UK dot com.

I didn't know Maggie invited you, Jade,

it seems unusual to have you here with us, and Vanessa.

No, no, no, she didn't invite me, she just forgot to ask me to leave.

This is delicious, Maggie.

Oh, can you say that again?

This is delicious, Maggie.

So how do you know Maggie?

I'm her agent.

No way, I'm a writer. Well, trying to be,

I mean I've been helping Maggie this week...

Vanessa,

I can't wait for you to try my tiramisu.

Some say I make it better than the Italians. Ciao bella.

Um, Will? Your mouth looks mental.

Really? It feels fine.

Oh, Jesus.

Are you allergic to lychees?

You know, I've never tried them before.

I think my body's just adjusting to...

OK. I think we need to get you to a hospital.

Are you even breathing?

A bit.

No... No, no. You can't leave.

Maggie, look at him.

I honestly think it's easing off now.

Look I'll be back. It's going really well.

Whoa there, pony.

Jonah?

What the, are you tracking me?

We need to talk.

Yeah. I'm a bit busy right now...

I can save your bar.

I'll be all right by myself, Eddie. You stay.

No, Will...

Let's walk and talk.

Maggie? We're still here

at your weird dinner party.

Yeah, just give me a minute.

I thought she was making tiramisu. Why does it smell like squid?

Can I help you?

I'm Brian.

OK?

Brian.

Er, who's Brian, Maggie?

Oh, well erm...

We have been chatting on Tinder for how long has it been?

An hour.

And, yeah, I just thought, you know, with Eddie and Will gone,

it just seemed a bit empty in here, so...

Oh, yeah. Right.

So? What did you mean, about the bar?

I heard what you and Jay were talking about the other day.

OK and I'm sure there's no point in me telling you that

that's none of your business...

I'm so sorry that he's putting you through that.

I know that bar is your home.

God, we used to have fun there, didn't we?

Those wild lock-ins on a Saturday night.

Remember the hand we found in the basement?

That's your best memory?

It was the hottest bar in town.

It can be again.

You just need a little help.

Obviously I've still got a year left of my degree,

but I really think I could sign with an agent now.

Well, send over some samples and I'll get to it as soon as I can.

Fab! Would it be OK if I send over the first draft

I wrote for Maggie this week? I know it can't be staged,

but I think it's the best thing I've written so far. Maggie?

Is this unpaid teenager writing your play for you?

No.

Jade is just drunk and stupid...

Er, excuse me? I do not drink.

I'm a semi-professional gymnast. And if I'm so stupid,

you won't be needing my play.

Anybody mind if I, er, rack up some ket?

Vanessa, wait.

You have gotten away with a lot because of your issues, Maggie,

but enough is enough.

This was worse than Harold Pinter's tea party.

Oh, my God.

I know I've done some awful things, but I've changed.

You always told me you were pro-rehabilitation.

In prisons.

I am in prison.

The prison of my past.

And your forgiveness is the key to my cell.

Please, Theodora.

My name is Eddie. How about starting with that?

You know, respecting me enough to call me by my preferred name.

Sorry, Eddie.

Say it again.

Eddie.

Again.

Eddie.

Brian just invited me to travel around Asia with him.

We're leaving next week.

Cambodia.

Babe, I think you should maybe go after your agent...

I'm so excited. Cambodia, Ryan.

I've got some business out there. It'll be nice to have...

..company.

Oh, right, no, sorry, absolutely not.

Ryan, put Maggie to bed. Yeah, come on, come on.

No! What? Let go of me, Ryan!

Right, you walking yeast infection,

you've got two options, either you fuck off now,

or you fuck off after

I smashed your remaining teeth down your throat. Up to you.

Yeah, I'm out.

And thanks very much for having me.

Yeah...Yeah.

RECEPTIONIST: Hello, Dr Burrow's office.

Hi, erm, I need an emergency appointment for today, please.

So, did something happen at the dinner party?

It seemed to be going so well.

Er...

Dr Burrows the dinner party was a sham.

I am like, the most depressed I've been in years,

and I thought I could A Beautiful Mind myself out of it

but, you know, a thing I didn't factor in was that dude was,

like, a Nobel Prize winning genius.

He, like, invented maths or something

and I wish I could think my way out of bipolar disorder.

I wish I could like use a meditation app,

or go for a walk,

or have an expensive vitamin regime and be grand

but I can't. I need lithium

because without it I might die

and it might not seem like it right now,

but, erm, I don't want to die.

I don't want to die.

Sorry it's, er you're dose,

what was it, it was, er, 1500 milligrams?

Something like that, yeah.

Being a psychiatrist seems really hard.

I couldn't do it.

Packed full of lithium once more like a sad battery.

My beautiful sad battery.

What happened with Will? Did he go into a coma?

What?

Will? Is he OK?

Oh, yeah. No, he's, yeah, he's fine.

Oh, my God. You shagged Jonah.

What? No I didn't. Yes, you did!

Oh, Eddie, why did you do that?

You need monitoring.

Oh, Maggie.

Thank you.

PHONE BUZZES

Subtitles by Red Bee Media