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she had him by the balls i'm not sure if she knew that yet but i knew but what i knew is that he loved her even more than she loved him she hated you for what happened
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did you feel bad
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maybe for thinking he was a wussie boy
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but i still hadn't known at the time that this was her guy care to explain that now basically an insecure man who can't perform
5
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but instead of admitting to it he blames the woman maybe he can't get it up so he says to the girl you're not sexy to me anymore but the real problem is he's overweight
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not taking responsibility for your actions is the main trait of a wussie boy
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so what was you guys friendship like
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after that pleasant
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she didn't tell me right away who he was but she did share that the relationship had gotten better and she was happier and that he was a lot more attentive and caring he even spent more time downtown
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if you weren't in this business what would you be doing
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no one has ever asked me that i don't know if i ever even thought of that
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i know i wouldn't want to be bartending can we come back to that sure up for another
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have you ever been in love
14
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no one wants to commit to an escort i mean before all of this is there anyone constant in your life
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i was in love
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i guess i um had a relationship
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unhealthy and abusive but
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stop
19
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Chloe what's wrong this time
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to answer
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your question
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the first two years were perfect
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we moved in together had plans on marrying and starting a family
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i thought i found my knight in shining armor
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i'm sorry what are you talking
26
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i would sit on the phone and talk to my best friend Jenna
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all day she was pregnant too
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i felt so lucky because while Jenna didn't know who the father of her child was and things were getting harder for her
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but to have my night be just as excited as i am about our life together meant the world
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one day he took my phone by accident so
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i carried his for the day
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i went to the Jenna for lunch
33
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i decided to call her
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the doorbell was broken and my hands were already swollen
35
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this Wi Fi connected to her
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when i saw that phone everything began to make sense
37
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i asked Mr Arthur
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the night and shining armor what it was about
39
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that night he beat me
40
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my carpet was stained with blood the doctor said there was no way to save the baby without killing me
41
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when we're all changed that day
42
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i lost a soulmate
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a best friend and my child
44
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i had to do for myself
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i was broken and i had to be reborn whether
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i care or not i couldn't be trusted in times
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i had to be around
48
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i couldn't give myself my love my feelings away
49
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my insides were black my heart was black my soul was black i was the black hole sun past the event horizon
50
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hello
51
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hey Chloe guess
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what i'm getting married
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we have to go over everything tomorrow let's meet up we'll plan everything
54
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i'm so excited
55
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you know what time it is i mean that's great and all
56
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but um
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why did you call me
58
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so late
59
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Whitney told me
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she had great news so great
61
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she couldn't tell me over the phone thank you for i met my soul mate no
62
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well
63
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you know i've been seeing one of the clients and we hung out twice before we even had sex we even have like a whole bunch of stuff in common we share the same values it's great
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we have amazing chemistry
65
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this is nothing to expect from Whitney leila may be but Whitney no she was strong minded you have to meet him he's everything are you sure you want to do this and why so fast
66
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well
67
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i'm only getting older and time isn't promised
68
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have you ever been in love before
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or have you forgotten
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what it's like to be in love
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i haven't forgotten so you understand what it's like to have someone complete you
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i also understand that i'm not incomplete if i don't have someone but i couldn't say this to her she seemed truly happy i didn't want
73
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to live up to the misery loves company cliche so i just i'm happy for you thank you
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i want you to i want you to come to our wedding if it wasn't for you
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i wouldn't be so happy
76
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what is it about me
77
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how come i can't find others happiness but i can't get it for myself of course
78
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so why attack
79
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um well
80
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he has my name so i'll just get his and the date we met barely two weeks ago he says that the tattoo is gonna be the only pain that hurt ever cause me isn't that sweet very unlikely
81
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something had to change i had to find myself my true self not the jaded black hole i had become
82
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hmm
83
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hmm
84
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i found joy in cooking even though i sucked at it i tried my hardest
85
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i hated eating alone i took up yoga meditation became a vegetarian
86
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hahaha that's why
87
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hahaha what's that
88
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i watched movies on Saturday nights i wasn't as active in my profession hahaha that first one always feels so good i'm somebody believe in yourself life is beautiful
89
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i control my destiny my life is in my hands listened to positive affirmations repeated them daily wrote them on my mirrors as a constant reminder i am somebody my life is in my hands i control my destiny
90
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did those help until i realized
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i had to make a living then i was back at square one i wasn't a slave to the desires i could care less about the sex most times but i needed the money i was slowly sinking into a depression
92
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huh
93
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Leila wouldn't leave me alone she came by every day she knocked for half an hour before i let her in she was a lifesaver i'm not sure what i may have done that day if she hadn't came
94
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she got me out of my rut i felt loved and cared for
95
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she bathed me sat with me and talked
96
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we cried together
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laughed together
98
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drank together maybe she didn't understand me but she didn't judge me
99
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when we woke up that morning Layla finally told me about jay i was surprised how calm she was maybe i took the edge off her what did you love to do
100
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as a kid sometimes your first love is true love i gravitated to a lot of things as a child i used to draw as a little girl my pa was an artist
101
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and he would take me with him to the studio sometimes we would go to the park and i would draw the leaves and trees at night he would put lights on the porch and we would go out and draw the stars and moon and i would
102
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what is everything okay
103
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when my parents died
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the reason i moved to Barcelona is because of art i wanted to digest it my pa always talked about bringing me to the city
105
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of picasso's youth this is my purpose i was so lost in a self distracting way of life that i forgot the very reason i am where i am now
106
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i came here to create and to find my purpose but all i've done since i arrived is lose myself
107
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the thing about guilt is it's not feeling that lasts long you have to use it to your advantage while it's on your side jay was back to his old ways
108
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good
109
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yes
110
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thank you wait great
111
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that's all gotta go
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you're not hungry
113
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she had it she was to the limit Layla wanted me to help i didn't want to
114
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but she begged i guess i felt like i owed her she was there for me
115
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and i felt obligated to do the same
116
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she was getting wiser i couldn't just tell her bullshit to smooth her over Layla wasn't willing to go the extra mile anymore a part of her had a curiosity about women maybe that had to do with me
117
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but i know this she was a different woman what changed she realized her worth confidence has a way of doing that to you she felt she could be happy without him so you ruined their relationship no
118
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it wasn't over yet
119
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did she enjoy the session you guys shared we never spoke about it it's like the elephant in the room
120
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but neither of us are comfortable around each other so tell me what happened
121
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with her and jay eventually
122
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she decided she wanted to leave him she asked me to help her why because she still loved him and wanted to leave her happy does it make sense i understood what she meant did did
123
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you agree yes
124
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again i felt like i owed her and i was on my way out of this business so at this time you were sure what you were going to do
125
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art was my passion it was what i loved more than anything
126
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it brought me peace reminded me of the great times i had with my pa it kept my mind in a different space
127
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the following day i honored my commitment with Layla
128
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for some reason i was nervous since i fell in love with art again i completely lost my desire to manipulate and control men's desires with my body
129
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but i had a commitment to honor keeping my word even when it's uncomfortable or it just hurts you was something i just had to live with
130
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my nerves were on edge
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ๅณๅณ
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yeah
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all i could think about is how hurt my friend must be she didn't look confident at that moment
134
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she looked torn and broken but this is what she wanted
135
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what happened next
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she told him she was done with the relationship
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ๅฟๅฟ
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he what
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she wasn't going for it Layla was drained from the constant mystery his wishy washy love i would have done anything for you
140
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she hadn't given her all and she did he said this was his first time stepping out on the relationship if i knew
141
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there was your friend
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i would never have done it
143
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that comment only solidified things it opened her eyes completely to the kind of man she was in love with
144
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all along she knew i wasn't the first or the only he had been with
145
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did you ever ask her why she stayed no but when you love someone
146
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you find a way to deal with what they did after he explained himself what did she do
147
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Layla only wanted one thing and that was to take her power back
148
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how did she do that
149
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i'm just friends on your side
150
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nothing
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nothing to learn
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ah
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ah ah
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back
155
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just not for you
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ah just not for you
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grabbing you
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ah ah
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ah ah
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oh
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yeah
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ah ah ah
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ah
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oh
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oh my god
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ah ah ah ah ah
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oh yeah
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oh yeah
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ah
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ah ah
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ah
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oh
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ah ah ah ah ah
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ah ah
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ah ah ah ah
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ah
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ah
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ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
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oh my god oh my god
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yeah yeah oh oh ah ah ah
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ah ah
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ah ah ah ah
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oh
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ah
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yeah
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ah
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oh ah
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oh oh oh
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oh
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oh oh oh oh
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oh my god
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oh yeah oh oh oh oh oh yeah oh yeah
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oh
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oh
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oh
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oh oh
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ah ah ah ah
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oh oh my god oh oh oh
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oh oh oh
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oh my god oh my god hmm
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ah ah ah
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yeah yeah
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ah ah ah
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uh huh uh huh
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uh huh
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ah yeah yeah
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ah ah yeah
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ah ah ah oh my god
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oh my god
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yeah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
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ๅๅ
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ๅ
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ๅๅๅ
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ah ah ah ah ah
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oh oh my god oh yeah yeah yeah
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ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
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oh
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hmm
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ah hmm
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ah
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ah yeah ah
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oh yeah
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ah ah ah ah
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hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm
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hmm ah yeah yeah yeah
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ah
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oh my god oh my god
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ah ah
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ah ah ah ah ah ah
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ah
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yeah
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ah ah ah ah ah
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she never saw him again she packed her stuff and stayed with me for a few until she got on her feet it worked out for both of us because my income is severely affected by changing professions
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were you guys
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oh no
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we were two empty souls looking for love well
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did she find it
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the thing about love is you never have to find it it's all over you just have to learn to embrace it and she did so was her new boyfriend there was no new boyfriend
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there was a new Layla she loved herself unconditionally it wasn't cheap it was a price that had to be paid but all it took was courage and she had that now seeing her transformation
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was a wake up call for me
241
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there are things i had to do things i had to commit to
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in order to make this a successful step in the right direction i committed to writing in my diary
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it was a way for me to look back over my life years from now and remember how far i came
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for hours i would write
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write and sketch
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all day all night
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and when my brain allowed me to stop i came to see that i was the happiest i ever been in my adult life
248
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a lot changed for you i had to get out my own way with no experience was it hard finding work
249
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i followed my passion it took me right where i needed to be
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up until that day
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my biggest accomplishment was my personal transformation i was happy who leila had become
252
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:16,633
but i believe sooner or later she would have gotten there on her own without my influence one thing i never told anyone is is that when i had sex at my old job most times i would see colors people no
253
00:34:16,633 --> 00:34:23,433
you never shared that is it of some significance at first i didn't know what it meant
254
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:37,733
but now now it's like a sign those weren't just random colors it was art it was as if my calling was saying here i am i'm right here in front of your face now
255
00:34:37,733 --> 00:34:39,033
it all makes sense
256
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,333
perfect sense
257
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,666
can you tell me about Whitney's wedding
258
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,633
no i didn't go
259
00:34:49,733 --> 00:34:58,866
seeing Whitney reminded me of a big mistake i made i wanted to tell her sorry but what for this life seemed to work better for her than me
260
00:34:59,900 --> 00:35:01,500
i'm so sorry
261
00:35:03,033 --> 00:35:04,033
it's okay
262
00:35:04,333 --> 00:35:08,633
i'm not hurt or anything everything happens for a reason right
263
00:35:10,533 --> 00:35:11,900
i know it's past closing
264
00:35:11,900 --> 00:35:14,100
but um would you mind
265
00:35:14,700 --> 00:35:16,033
there's no more wedding
266
00:35:16,133 --> 00:35:29,733
her soul mate didn't exist leading up to the wedding she saw signs of him that she didn't want to spend a minute around much less the rest of her life she got his name covered with a star so do you think
267
00:35:29,733 --> 00:35:32,466
you'll ever go back no
268
00:35:32,733 --> 00:35:36,900
i lost all desire the money just wasn't worth my unhappiness
269
00:35:38,333 --> 00:35:40,133
i didn't know you knew how to ink
270
00:35:41,066 --> 00:35:45,000
i'm not that good still learning it's my first day
271
00:35:47,433 --> 00:35:49,333
haha just joking
272
00:35:51,000 --> 00:36:04,433
we talked all night she told me she's moving to the states Nevada something about running her own business over there because it's legal i didn't know what she meant but said maybe one day i can come work with her
273
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:10,400
wow
274
00:36:11,066 --> 00:36:12,000
it looks great
275
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,433
thank you so much what do
276
00:36:13,433 --> 00:36:15,433
i owe you nothing
277
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:17,000
i owe you
278
00:36:31,533 --> 00:36:39,233
i've learned that even in my darkest place during my darkest hours i can be a light to someone else
279
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:49,833
friends are like stars
280
00:36:58,133 --> 00:37:00,933
they can add to your beauty making your light
281
00:37:00,933 --> 00:37:05,800
shine brighter filling it with limpless beauty that all can see
282
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:08,133
i had my stars
283
00:37:08,433 --> 00:37:10,300
but i still missed my sunshine
284
00:37:21,233 --> 00:37:27,633
i've never had the pleasure of meeting you but knowing you those few short months bonding with you
285
00:37:28,033 --> 00:37:28,833
loving you
286
00:38:02,300 --> 00:38:06,733
i know when i see you our time together will be out of this world
287
00:38:48,433 --> 00:38:49,500
decision that might
288
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,900
he doesn't tell him doesn't mean bad
289
00:38:56,433 --> 00:38:57,233
okay
290
00:39:04,233 --> 00:39:05,333
did i say that okay
291
00:39:05,333 --> 00:39:06,533
you did honestly
292
00:39:06,533 --> 00:39:08,000
not sure how to react
293
00:39:09,666 --> 00:39:11,800
hahaha i'm just like did i say okay
294
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,300
yeah yeah okay
295
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:23,666
alright i'm trying
296
00:39:30,100 --> 00:39:31,466
been dealing with a different life
297
00:39:32,633 --> 00:39:34,633
i'm sorry this whole thing is like
298
00:39:34,900 --> 00:39:36,633
wow i'm scared
299
00:39:46,900 --> 00:39:48,033
you're laughing
300
00:40:01,333 --> 00:40:03,700
hahaha it's been a while
301
00:40:10,266 --> 00:40:12,900
ๅๅๅๅๅ
302
00:40:16,933 --> 00:40:18,200
he's struggling with the rope
303
00:40:29,066 --> 00:40:33,433
ๅๅๅๅๅๅ
304
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:38,733
not again
305
00:40:46,466 --> 00:40:50,466
hahaha you're laughing over there that's so funny no one laughing over there
306
00:40:50,466 --> 00:40:51,600
so it's like
307
00:40:51,666 --> 00:40:53,133
oh it's okay
308
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,900
ๅๅๅๅ
309
00:41:06,033 --> 00:41:07,133
this is my first day
310
00:41:11,633 --> 00:41:15,600
sorry sorry ah okay when you
25802
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