Original subtitles

Zombies.

I fucking hate zombies.

Evil undead pieces of shit that can harsher your buzz faster than you can

a slice of deep dish Italian heaven, man.

And I could know.

When fate threw me up a big old slice of rotted flesh psychedelic brain eater in

30 minutes or less, I chewed it up, spit it out, and asked for a goddamn refund.

And when I looked at the receipt, When I totaled it up, I got a message.

A message that said the Reaper was stolen and the titties had gone cold. A

message served on a silver platter full of shit with a big fuck you from the man

upstairs that said, surprise, you're dead.

Rolling in the backlash door.

That was great, boys. We're going to rock the stallion tonight. Right on,

What the fuck is his problem?

Who, Kevin? He fucking hates you, man.

Didn't you hear? He found Jesus.

Oh, man.

Fucking Jesus.

Well, and you fucked his girlfriend last night.

Oh, yeah.

Right on, man. Right on.

I fucking hate you, you fat piece of stoner shit.

You read the Bible with that mouth?

I'm going to pray for you, you fat fuck. I'm going to pray right up your fat

ass. Jesus, no. You're into dudes?

God!

God, this is so hard.

Don't worry about him, man. He's a piece of shit.

And I'm firing him after the gig anyway.

Eh, it still kind of sucks.

No, no, man. I've been fucking his girlfriend for the last year.

Uh, you wore a condom. But hey, now listen, you're going to bring the stuff

tonight, right?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because we're at our best with our friend the fungus.

Right on, man, right on.

All right,

I got to go.

It's harvest time.

Kiss you boys later.

Jesus loves you, Kevin.

You said you loved me!

There you go, ma 'am.

Fuck off, badass!

Hey, man. Tonight after work, a group of us are going down to the quarry. You

think you can hook us up with a little action?

Dude, I told you to shut up about that shit, man.

You know what happens if I get busted?

These fucking pigs will have my ass.

Oh, man. I wasn't thinking. That's right. You weren't thinking.

I mean, there are procedures, man.

Shit is in place.

I mean, there are factors.

Look, just make the call, man.

All right, all right. Make the call.

What the hell yeah, fuck it

Hey. Hey, what's up, man?

Oh, hey, man. Not much. Good.

Karma's looking good. Yeah.

I'm in this new club, and it is awesome!

It's called the Risky Shitters. You need to come to the next meeting.

What the fuck, dude?

Yeah! Yeah, the Risky Shitters Club.

Shitting in dangerous places.

What the fuck is wrong with you, man?

Something to do.

How do you shit dangerously? Oh, man.

I shit in the road once.

Once, I shit out of a moving car!

You need to come to our next meeting, man. We could use some of your talent.

Ah,

right, right.

Anyway, man, it was good seeing you.

I gotta take a shit.

Hey, it's Mr. Haas, man.

What?

Oh, dong.

What's happening, man?

Dude, where are you, man?

We got work in 20.

Jenny's gonna have her abs if we're late again.

Ah, shit, man. I was at band practice and... Oh, fuck!

Are you high again?

We do that shit together when we're working, man.

Together. Well, yeah, I mean, there's this fucking Jesus guy, and he's

his Bible up my ass, and a real douchebag, and his fails fucking suck.

What?

Never mind, man. Look, Don, I'm on my way to refurbish my fungus supply.

obviously some weird karma shit going on here, and I just need to clear the

aura.

Just start without me and hold off Denny until I get there, would you? Aw, no

way, man. I ain't covering for your ass again. No way.

Look, man, there's beer all over the place. I gotta go. I'll catch you later,

man.

Damn it!

Well, well, well. If it isn't DONG. Aw, shit. Hey, Dirk.

Hey, you guys remember DONG? The shittiest employee I ever had at my

Dirk, I was never cut out to be a grease monkey.

Oh, grease monkey.

You guys hear that? Now I'm a fucking grease monkey?

You weren't even cut out to be a piece of shit coming out of my ass.

No, you want me to be part of your ass, Dirk? Oh, now you're being funny, huh?

You cost me $1 ,000 in insurance payments because you fucked up that

transmission job, you little piece of shit.

Look, Dirk, that was months ago. I quit, remember?

Listen, you were stoned on the job, and you fucked it up, and you cost me. And

now I'm going to take it out of your ass.

Oh, I hate violence.

I better not see you again, Dong.

Because next time, I'm going to fucking kill you.

Praise Jesus, you fucking piece of shit.

Enough with that shit. Come on.

Jesus Christ, where the fuck you been, man?

What the fuck happened to you?

Your band is what fucking happened to me. Bunch of fascist assholes.

You look like shit, man.

I told you to stay away from them. They hate your ass.

I tried, but they fucking joked me.

Dude, your reaction time is off, man.

You need to stay sharp.

Scotty, damn it. You're fucking late. That's the third time this week. I got

mouths to feed out here.

Jesus, Don, you look like pure shit.

Sorry, Danny, there was a situation.

Man, there's some business. It took a little longer than usual, that's all.

Dammit, if you and your stoner friend back here didn't make the best pizzas in

town, I'd have fired your ass years ago.

Shit, if I fired you, I'd have the whole town on my ass. They can't get enough

of your pies, you fucking stoner.

Speaking of which, order up. Don?

Fix your fucking face!

Help?

Hey, man.

Yeah, I'm delivering today.

Aw, now that's gonna cost you extra.

Alright, I'll be there in 30 minutes or less.

Alright, let me guess. Time for a special order. You got it, man.

When's the old lady must be on it again?

He wants the people that'll take him off this planet for a while.

Magic time, baby.

Yeah! I got a tractor and it's bigger than the sun. I got a huge wagon full of

wolf fat and it's new for everyone.

I got some business on the highway.

get a free pizza for making me wait at your front door.

Damn, man.

I only need like two more minutes.

You're gonna make me late for my gig, asshole.

Here's your fucking pizza.

Extra shroom and on time.

Thank you.

Enjoy the trip, man.

Bitch! Pizza's here!

And we're fucking tonight!

No excuses.

Is that one of those fucking starter pizzas?

You know I hate that shit. You're gassy for weeks.

Ah, bitch. How many times do I have to tell you? I'm on the Zantac now.

Bring me some of that sweet ass.

You keep your hands off me. I'm watching my shows.

You get any more beer?

It's how important, you blind piece of shit.

I bought you light beer. Doctor says it'll make you less handsy.

Be as handsy as I want.

And we're using that dildo tonight, too.

And then I said, your balls are showing.

You're a sick man, Danny.

What's sick is how many pieces of that pizza you've shoved in your fat ass

today. Hey, man, nobody makes pies like you boys back there. Best place in town.

Don't I know it, man.

Dammit, Danny, what the hell's going on in the kitchen? I got customers climbing

up my ass.

Sounds like your old lady, Danny.

Dammit, if those bozos are stoned again, I'll kill them.

Here, take this. Another pie.

the hell's taking so long? I got another order here. People are waiting on their

goddamn food.

I'm on it, man.

But think we're out of mushrooms.

Jesus, Don. What the hell are these?

Sorry, man. I didn't see those.

How the hell do I know what you morons do back here? Just make the damn pizza.

You're the boss, man.

Damn it, Kevin.

Hurry this shit up. We gotta be at the stallion for sound check in an hour.

Goddammit, I'm doing the Lord's work, Dirk.

You can't hurry a fucking blessing, man.

Don't start this shit again. It's been all fucking day.

The Lord is everywhere, man.

He's everywhere.

Take this transmission.

First of all, Kevin, the transmission is under there.

Take this fuel injector system, then.

It gives the car life.

It's more than just a metal body.

You gotta be shitting me.

It's just like Jesus.

Just finish this up. I gotta go in and change the code on the pumps.

You never change the codes.

Well, that's because some asshole keeps taking a shit in the tank.

It's probably that fucking piece of shit dong.

Fucking piece of shit.

Oh, praise Jesus.

I'm surrounded by fucking idiots.

Hey man, how's it going?

Denny's in one of his fucking moods again.

What's his problem this time?

Dude,

what the fuck?

What, man?

They're in my mushrooms.

On the pizzas, man.

Wait, you're saying the mushrooms in this bag are on the pizzas?

Yeah. Are you fucking nuts?

What's the big deal, man?

These are my special mushrooms.

Shit.

Dude, these are for the band.

They're worth money.

Those might be worth some cash, man.

To see them fucking townies all tripping. It'd be fucking priceless,

I can't wait to see this shit.

Oh, shit, man!

The door!

Unlock the fucking door, man!

We would have had good times, baby!

That's...

Dude,

what the fuck was that? What the fuck is going on here? I don't know man, I

don't know.

We have to get the fuck out of this town.

This is just too fucking crazy.

Right on, man, right on.

Great, then let's go.

What are we doing here?

I'm doing a new workout program.

What you got, boss?

Squats. What?

I'm up to about 40 a day. No.

That's all I do.

I can barely fit into these pants.

Are we tripping, man?

No.

I'm pretty sure that was real, man.

What's those townies?

They're eating Denny.

No way it was that real.

Just slipped me some acid or something.

No way, man.

I mean, uh, I don't think so.

That shit was reality.

I don't want any part of it.

What if I eat up some of this puzzle?

Go for it, man.

I've got my crack reporter, Cindy Wells, at the scene of Fremont Labs.

She's addressing some pretty concerning issues going down in the waterfront

district.

Cindy?

We're here at Fremont Labs with the director of the facility, Dr.

Emmett Fernando.

Dr. Fernando, the city council has recently expressed concern over what

called... unsafe disposal procedures.

Could you comment on that, please?

Well, Cindy, thank you for taking the time. We just want the people to know

Fremont Labs values safety above everything else, and we treat all of our

products with care.

But Dr. Fernando, the City Council has accused Fremont Labs of, and I quote,

spewing volatile chemical waste matter into local water sources.

You know, in fact, they claim you have a giant pipe running directly from the

facility into the river. Cindy, Cindy, those are baseless accusations.

It's hurtful.

Oh, wait, no!

What the fuck, man? Dude, Fremont Labs, right there.

Fucking chemicals spill into the goddamn river.

Yeah, so what's your point?

Dude, I picked these shrooms from the riverbank right down from the lab.

Now do you understand?

But how can we be sure those shrooms are what caused those townies to get all

fucking nut?

Man, that is cheap watered down booze.

Plus, you never know what will happen when a townie gets high for the first

time. Dude, I know how we can find out.

Yeah, and how's that?

Dude, I delivered a special pizza to Glenn earlier today.

If he's not all fucking crazy...

Then knock the shroom.

Yeah, but what if he has?

The fucker will try to kill us.

Got a gun?

A gun?

I'm a fucking pacifist.

You know that.

Let's play ball, bitches.

Hey, pizza man, how about a pizza?

How about a punch in the mouth?

He's having a bad day, man.

All right, dude. I've seen enough. Let's get the fuck out of here.

Dude, calm down.

Glenn's just a little sloppy, man.

It's a farm.

Everything's all right.

Hey, Glenn.

Anybody home?

I'm telling you, man.

This is not cool.

You just shut the fuck up for a second.

Hey, Glenn.

You here?

Got some mushrooms for you, buddy.

me man yeah I wonder where his old lady is who the fuck

cares that bitch is probably infected too let's just get the fuck out of here

dude I told you she doesn't do that shit man she hates it when Glenn does it

she's all spiritual and shit church every Sunday I mean we gotta make sure

okay man

Shit.

Man, I told you.

Can we go now?

Yeah, yeah, we can go.

Hitman!

Life and death, baby.

Oh, yeah, that's ninja shit, you... Run,

motherfucker, run!

I don't know. I don't know.

Watch out!

Oh, shit!

Is

that

Denny?

I think so.

What the hell is going on, man?

He was fucking dead.

Dude, the ones that were eating the shrooms are infecting others, man.

What the hell, man?

How in the hell is this happening?

It's like rabbit dogs infecting other dogs.

They bite them.

This is too heavy, man.

We gotta get the hell out of here.

What are we gonna do?

We can't take this on there by ourselves.

I think we gotta go to the police, man.

Oh, man.

Not the pig.

That was some beautiful singing, Sheriff.

Damn it, Buford. You will shut it when I'm communing with the Lord. Got it,

Sheriff.

You know what I pray, Buford?

What's that, Sheriff?

Damn it, Buford.

That was rhetorical.

Don't know what that means, Sheriff.

That means you will shut it when I'm communing with the Lord.

I pray that the Lord will cleanse this land of all the hippies

and the gays and all the other sinners

and take us back to the good old days.

This town used to be filled with good, decent Christian people.

You may be surprised to know there was a time I was not the only bastion.

of purity in this town.

Oh, where has the purity gone, Buford?

I pray, Buford, that in the coming days, the Lord will grant me the strength to

do his good work.

I will restore justice to this land.

And I will... bring it peace.

Motherfucking Brady!

dead people, man!

All these bitches are fucking dying out here!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

How dare you hippies interrupt my communion with the Lord!

If that better be good.

Look, Sheriff, I know it sounds crazy, but the dead are walking.

There are zombies all over town, man. It is coming out of your mouth, boy.

You gotta believe us, man. They fucking tried to eat us, and they're walking

around with their fucking guts hanging out, man.

You just watch your mouth, boy, and you will call me sir, or I'll have you

hippies arrested.

Goddamn slackers, every last one of y 'all.

Gotta drug you on anyway.

Talking about the walking dead.

You ought to get your heads checked.

Shit. That's right, Sheriff.

Stinky. Goddamn it, Buford!

You will speak when spoken to!

And as for you two, let me be perfectly clear.

This town is a den of sin and depravity.

You know who's to blame?

Pricks like you.

I'm tired of your stinky hippie faces and I don't want to see you in my office

again. You understand me, boys?

Dude, they're infecting more and more people.

I think we have a hearing problem, Buford.

Sure do, Sheriff.

Dammit, Buford! How many times do I have to tell you... To shut up!

Dang it!

Now they gotta wait!

Hippies are ruining the town, Buford.

Probably on some sort of wacky tabacky.

That's right, Sheriff.

Wacky tabacky.

God damn it, Buford.

Shut your mouth.

You got it, Sheriff.

Man, I told you that shit was fucking nuts, man.

So now what?

I don't know, man. I don't know.

This shit's getting really fucking dangerous.

Damn, I don't know about you, man, but I'm done with this shit.

I'm so fucking done.

Here, man. You need this as much as I do.

Oh, man, no. I gotta keep my mind sharp.

I mean, this is some evil shit going on here. I gotta remain vigilant.

Keep the mind sharp, baby.

Scotty, do you believe in God, man?

Hmm?

Yeah, sure, man. I mean, he's a classy dude.

Yeah.

But all that shit about the end of days stuff. You know, the dead rising from

the grave.

All that Sunday school stuff.

Man, only thing I remember from Sunday school is that my Sunday school

teacher...

Had a really nice rack, man.

Really? You're a Sunday school teacher, huh?

I dare way to heaven.

I went to the wrong church.

Man, I always thought the end of days would be like an Iron Maiden album

With fucking metal and shit.

Man, I don't think we're far off from that now, man.

There's some scary shit going down.

Yeah.

There's a serious lack of hot chicks firing motorcycles.

Very disappointing.

You know, I always thought heaven would be like a strip club, man.

The only difference is you wouldn't have to pay.

The chicks are always hot.

And they always would put out.

Yeah.

Dong, you're a pretty fucked up guy. You know that, right?

Yeah.

Dong?

What, man?

I can't help but feel like this is my fault.

Is Jesus a zombie, dude?

What the fuck is...

Zombie pig!

Time for a

pig roast, baby.

Vigilance, bitch!

What in tarnation?

What have you done?

What? What have you?

It's the walking dead.

Lord, have mercy.

Dude, we gotta get out of here. There are too many of them, man.

Man, we gotta help them. And when we help start this mess, we gotta finish

Dude, if we stay and...

They're going to kill us. Go, man.

You're all under arrest.

You're all, all under arrest.

Oh, my father.

Who are you?

Don,

we've got to stop this.

We gotta put an end to this.

But how?

The sheriff is dead.

Who's gonna help us?

We can't take out all those psycho, cannibal motherfuckers.

There's only one man who can help us now.

Bearskin Butch.

Jesus is risen, man.

He's risen indeed.

Your sins are gone, man.

Do you hear what I'm telling you? Those bitch -ass sins are gone.

Motherfucking gone, man.

Kevin, damn it. We've got sound check in ten minutes and you're not even dressed

yet.

I'm proclaiming the good of the fucking risen Lord, Dirk. God does not like it

when you cock -block him. He doesn't like it one bit.

Kevin, cut the shit out and get inside or you're fired.

And call Scotty, too. He's fucking late again.

Damn it. I'm going to fire all you assholes.

Hi, but if the Lord comes before sound check, don't come bitching to me when

you're burning in hell.

You believe that, man? Some guys just can't leave the life of sin.

Holy shit. Did you see the tits on her?

On. Still fucking that ass tonight. Praise Jesus!

Oh, shit!

Who the fuck is this guy?

Bearskin Butch, man.

He's a war vet.

Study Nietzsche and Eastern philosophy.

Knows seven different languages.

He's the wisest man I know.

What the fuck is that smell?

Oh, he believes that bathing will reduce your life essence.

How the hell did you meet this guy?

Man, he sells the best weed in the Tri -County area.

If anyone's going to know what to do,

it's Bearskin Butch.

Hey, Butch, it's me, Scotty. It's the pizza man, man. Come on, open up. I need

your help.

I sent your arrival.

Please enter.

You a Charlie?

Who the fuck is Charlie?

I know your grandfather.

Remember Judge of the Cosmo?

Favorite fabric?

Scabbardine.

What the fuck?

Butch, we need your help. Something happened, man.

I noticed all those walkers. I felt their presence.

Oh, it's walkers?

You're a dead friend.

Those who ate the tainted fungi.

How did you know?

The face that stays behind.

Thus, he is a head.

Your mother.

She is worried about you.

She senses you don't have your shoes tied.

I recommend.

What the fuck is up with this guy?

Shut the fuck up.

So, Butch, what do we do about the zombies?

For you, my son, it is time that the rotten grape turns to fine wine

and the swift tongue turns to fellatio.

So must you emerge from the cocoon of inebriation and become the hero

that you truly are.

Whatever.

At 11th hour, you will perish.

Butch, the zombies.

What do we do?

IS, the zombies.

You're going to need this.

Aim for the brain.

They can be killed in the other way.

But you won't be able to defeat them all on your own.

We already got you outnumbered.

Your only hope is to get this into the hands of the protectors and pray

that they'll use it to hunt the zombies.

Protectors? Like, uh, National Guard?

They go by so many names. Let us help the act quickly.

Oh, it smells like fucking piss!

My son, go.

You do not fail.

But remember...

Let's

go, man.

Get out of here!

You do not fail!

And we're back live in the studio.

Sounds like something's going on outside, Doodle. Sure is, Poops.

Residents are reporting numerous cases of violence and mass hysteria all over

the city. What?

That's cray -cray.

You got that right. Apparently, the National Guard has been notified. In the

meantime, we recommend that everyone's... What's that?

What? Who are you? I don't see anything.

What the hell? Huh?

We're going to get out of here.

I just got to make sure that this gets into the right hand.

The piss water?

Seriously? We're about to get eaten by the undead, and you're worried about

getting some naked dude's piss into the right hand.

Are you fucking high?

Dude, Bearskin Butch entrusted us with this, man.

It's our mission, our duty.

We got to set things right, man.

Oh, man, I think... Fuck it. Let's just get the hell out of Dodge, man.

Nah, man.

I've been saying fuck it for too long. Look where it's gotten. Look at the mess

I made.

No way, man. This time's gonna be different.

This time, I'm gonna deliver the pit.

Motherfuck! We're out of gas.

Up and just let me think, man, okay? Give me a second to think.

We need gas.

Dirt! It's right over there, man.

No way, man. Fuck that.

I said I was never going near that place again.

Besides, if that fucker catches me anywhere near that place, he's going to

me into a hand puppet.

Ah, shit.

Doesn't matter anyway, man. Look.

Oh, Jesus.

What are we going to do now?

So, uh, can I take you guys anyway?

No.

Are those dead guys walking around out there?

Yeah.

They're going to bust in here and kill me eventually, aren't they?

Yeah.

Rick, this is the worst shift of my life. First some guy takes a shit on the

grill, and I have to clean it up. And now I get eaten by the undead.

If I survive, I better get a fucking raise.

Listen, man, that kid had the right idea. We need to get the hell out of

It's starting to get crowded out there.

You know, I think TJ lives around here. He could totally help us.

Who's this TJ guy?

Another guy handing out piss?

No, man, he's a guy I know. He mows lawns. But if we got over to his house,

bet we could totally get a car or something to get the hell out of here.

That way, man. We can take a shortcut through that alley.

Jesus, man. They're everywhere.

The pit!

Save the pit!

Fuck the pit! God, help me!

Fucking pit!

Fucking help me!

You okay,

man?

I knew him, man.

I knew that guy.

Don't worry, man.

He was already dead.

Come on. Grab the piss. Let's go.

What did you say this T .J. guy does for a living, man?

He mows lawns, you know, all over town.

Yeah?

Well, for a lawnmower man, he sure gets a lot of pussy.

What?

Scotty, what the... We're having a bad time, man.

Dude, you gotta help us.

Our car's out of gas.

And we need to get out of town.

I mean, you should come with us. We all need to get out of town and fast.

Yeah, I'm sure we do, but I don't think you understand.

Anna, Anna.

We're under attack, man, and we are all fucked unless we get the hell...

Is he?

Hello there.

Name's Dog.

Family name, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, man, what the hell do you guys want? Can't you see I'm in the middle of

something here?

I'm trying to tell you, man.

The river got contaminated.

And people were getting poisoned and now they're like... Flesh -eating zombies

everywhere.

Yeah.

Tipping your own stash isn't always a good idea. Dude, goddammit, I'm being

serious, man. The only way we can stop them is by getting Vip to the proper

authority.

Is that... Pit?

Hey, Jay, can you get these hippies out of here? They're kind of freaking me

out. Listen, Pit Boy, time for you guys to go.

Who the hell is that?

Do not open that door.

Why, are there zombies out there?

What the fuck

was that?

I told you, man.

Zombies. We need to get out of here. We need a plan, and we don't have much

time. Where is your car?

Car? What car?

I'm the lawnmower man.

I got a reputation to uphold. I can't be seen riding in a car.

TJ, I'm scared. I don't want to die.

I have an idea. There's a garage out back.

Out the back, sexy girlfriend.

There's zombies everywhere, man. There's no way we're getting out of here in one

piece.

Listen, when I give you guys a signal, you need to haul ass.

What about you?

Baby, you have the most amazing tits I've ever seen.

Never forget the lawnmower, man.

Dong, take her.

Now run. Go!

Run.

Let's go.

Find your shirt first.

No time, let's go!

look good, man.

How the hell are we going to get to the car, man?

You leave the zombies by the car to me.

The real problem is we still need some fucking gas, man.

And that is our only option.

Are you kidding me?

Again with Dirk Station.

He's crawling with zombies, man.

I know.

You're going to have your work cut out for you.

Me?

What? No, no, no.

Listen, don't. Look, man, I told you before.

I said I'm never going to set foot in that shithole place again.

I've been clawed, grabbed, and eaten almost three fucking times today.

And that's just today.

I've seen a shit ton of people die, and I'm not going to be one of them.

Fuck this, fuck you, and god damn it.

You're the only one who knows the codes. You've got to turn on the pumps.

Fuck that. I haven't worked there in years.

He's probably changed the damn code.

This is Dirk we're talking about. Of course he hasn't changed the codes.

There's no other way.

No, that's not the only way. You want to know what the other way is, man?

Well, here it is. Get the fuck out of this place.

I'm sick of trying to save this fucking place. I'm sick of these hick bastards.

I'm sick of this whole fucking thing. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going

to go home, smoke a gigantic bowl, and drink until I can't see.

And then I'm going to head for the goddamn hills.

Hasta la vista, baby.

Fuck you.

Dong. Dong!

Will you listen to me? Listen.

This is our chance.

Our chance to do something.

All our lives we've been fucking making pizzas and shitting our lives away.

People look at us like we're a couple of losers.

Stupid pizza boys.

But now is our chance. Our chance to do something right.

We can take this fucking piece of shit mess that we made, and we can fix it.

Now's our time. Our time to be heroes.

But I can't do it without you.

I mean, I couldn't make the pizzas by myself, and I sure as fuck can't do this

without you.

I need Dong's special technique.

Without you, all of this is going to fail, and we're going to die like the

of these assholes.

Those undead pieces of shit need to go back to hell, man.

And we can put them there.

As a team.

You and me.

We're not just making the town's best psychedelic pizzas anymore, man. We're

saving the goddamn world.

Are you with me?

Hello?

Right on. Right on, man.

I love you, man. I really do.

Oh, okay, man. Easy, man. We're like brothers, man.

Bonded in pizza and love.

It's so beautiful.

I always wanted a brother.

Yeah, that's great, man. A little uncomfortable.

A little creepy.

But, you know, maybe we could just let go now.

Okay. Okay, let go.

Oh, I'm sorry, man.

I didn't know what came over me.

So, are we really going to do this?

The only way.

Great.

I'm going to die.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

What are we going to do? I'm really scared.

Don't worry.

Daddy's got you, baby.

Daddy's got you.

Stay close.

Shit's about to get real.

Shit, that was close.

All right, dog.

Time to focus.

Scotty, I think they see us. I think they're coming this way.

Damn it, stay down and get ready to run.

Scotty!

You dirty, cool, cheesy piece of shit!

Go, go, go! What if I'm dying?

Go!

I'm gonna die.

That's another fella.

You will pay.

You crazy, naked son of a bi -

Perfect. The alarm stopped.

It's... It's so quiet.

Dong.

We have to help him. He might still be alive.

Alright. Get in the car, lock the door, and don't move until I get back.

Keep the door locked and use this if you have to.

Be careful.

Oh, shit.

What's that thing?

The band.

They infected the band.

What band?

My band.

Twister's Revenge.

Stop the van.

Please, stop the van.

Guys, you've got to help him. You've got to help Defy.

Shit.

They're my friends.

Hey, asshole.

You're out of the band.

I'm alive.

Oh, my God. I'm alive.

It's okay, man.

He was right.

It's the 11th hour, man.

The 11th hour.

No, there's more time.

There's got to be more time.

You've got to shoot me in the head.

Do it.

Do it before I turn.

Before I die.

Give me one last peek.

It's his last request, sweetheart.

What are we gonna do now?

We're gonna finish this.

Let's gas up, Mama.

We got kids to deliver.

I'm so afraid Everything's changing

Life isn't fair

And we're back!

Thanks to the heroic efforts of an unknown citizen, we have now found an

antidote for what we're affectionately calling zombie outbreak.

When asked the identity of the nameless hero, Special Agent Funkhauser declined

to provide the man's name, but he did say, and I quote, he was a righteous

dude. Despite the good news, civilians...

You might want to evacuate.

There's containment centers.

Fremont Labs, something is still going on there.

Gleason and Antigo, lock your doors.

Next up, we got Jim.

He's going to tell us about the workout program that is sweeping the region.

One word, y 'all.

Squats.

I already did my 40 today. Stop!

What'd you say, baby?

Nothing. Go back to bed.

Why don't you come over here and complete that delivery I called in?

Coming to bed?

Daddy's gotta work.

I'll be there in 30 minutes.

Or less.

Don't you die, Westor.

You're not my man.