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1
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,616
Who's that?
2
00:00:10,794 --> 00:00:12,762
That's the father.
3
00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:14,487
Why's he running away?
4
00:00:14,664 --> 00:00:18,122
- He's not, he's going after that woman.
- Why?
5
00:00:18,301 --> 00:00:22,635
She thinks their kids are in that house
and he doesn't want her to go in there.
6
00:00:22,806 --> 00:00:24,569
Because it's haunted?
7
00:00:24,841 --> 00:00:26,399
No, because it's on fire.
8
00:00:26,576 --> 00:00:29,545
We just watched a whole scene
about that.
9
00:00:31,314 --> 00:00:33,373
Hey, kiddo. What are you watching?
10
00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:34,881
This awesome movie.
11
00:00:35,051 --> 00:00:39,010
The fireman, he trapped his kids
in a haunted house and he set it on fire.
12
00:00:41,224 --> 00:00:43,215
Matthew, I don't think
he should be watching this.
13
00:00:43,393 --> 00:00:45,623
He's not.
I don't know what movie he's watching.
14
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:49,192
Christine!
15
00:00:49,365 --> 00:00:51,230
What'd she make for dinner?
I'm starving.
16
00:00:51,401 --> 00:00:54,802
Oh, no dinner. She's out with a guy.
17
00:00:56,573 --> 00:00:58,165
On a date?
18
00:00:58,341 --> 00:01:00,400
No, it's not just a date. A fifth date.
19
00:01:00,577 --> 00:01:03,068
Oh. Who's the guy?
20
00:01:03,246 --> 00:01:04,474
Burton. Some attorney.
21
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,877
Drives a Jag. She's way into him.
22
00:01:07,050 --> 00:01:09,314
Fifth date.
23
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:13,281
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
24
00:01:13,456 --> 00:01:16,653
You think I'll flip out because my ex-wife
is dating the same guy a couple times.
25
00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:20,023
Not a couple, five. Five. Five.
26
00:01:20,196 --> 00:01:22,596
Give me a what? Five.
27
00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:31,067
You know, I was hoping
I wouldn't have to bring this up...
28
00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:33,368
...but tonight
is our fifth date anniversary...
29
00:01:33,543 --> 00:01:37,070
...and I was kind of looking forward
to a gift.
30
00:01:37,247 --> 00:01:41,013
Ha. I got you something,
but it isn't wrapped.
31
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:43,744
- Oh, where is it?
- In my pants.
32
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,012
[LAUGHS]
33
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,985
Oh, my God!
34
00:01:47,157 --> 00:01:48,249
Oh.
35
00:01:48,424 --> 00:01:51,916
You can't give me the same thing
you gave me for our fourth date anniversary.
36
00:01:52,095 --> 00:01:54,029
[BOTH LAUGH]
37
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,732
- Whoa! Hello! Wow.
- Uh... Heh.
38
00:02:00,336 --> 00:02:02,463
- Didn't mean to...
- Richard.
39
00:02:02,639 --> 00:02:04,766
- No, we were just, you know.
- Yes, I saw. Nice.
40
00:02:04,941 --> 00:02:06,306
Yeah.
41
00:02:06,476 --> 00:02:09,274
- I'm Burton Schaefer.
- Richard Campbell. Christine's husband.
42
00:02:09,946 --> 00:02:12,540
- Ex-husband.
- Oh, God. Right.
43
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:15,240
Wonder what the psychiatrists would say
about that.
44
00:02:15,418 --> 00:02:16,612
[LAUGHS]
45
00:02:16,786 --> 00:02:19,311
They'd say you were leaving.
46
00:02:19,489 --> 00:02:21,821
- I should probably head out too.
- Thanks for stopping by.
47
00:02:21,991 --> 00:02:23,788
- Let's do this again soon.
- Richard.
48
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,019
What? Burt can take a joke.
49
00:02:26,196 --> 00:02:28,596
His name's Burton.
He must hear a lot of jokes.
50
00:02:29,465 --> 00:02:30,989
[LAUGHS]
51
00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:33,601
That's okay. No, l...
We got a big anniversary tomorrow...
52
00:02:33,770 --> 00:02:36,238
...so I should probably go home
and wrap her gift.
53
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,101
[LAUGHING]
54
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,477
Ah, nice meeting you.
55
00:02:46,816 --> 00:02:48,613
- I like him.
- Hm.
56
00:02:48,785 --> 00:02:50,650
- He's a good-looking guy.
- Yeah.
57
00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:52,253
Almost pretty.
58
00:02:54,390 --> 00:02:55,618
Good night, Richard.
59
00:02:55,792 --> 00:02:57,350
What? It's a compliment.
60
00:02:57,527 --> 00:02:59,893
He's a very adorable man.
61
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:04,891
[PHONE RINGS]
62
00:03:06,402 --> 00:03:07,733
- Hello?
- Hey, it's me.
63
00:03:07,904 --> 00:03:10,702
Look, I'm sorry about tonight.
I was just trying to be funny.
64
00:03:10,874 --> 00:03:14,401
Really? Because it wasn't funny.
It was like Benny Hill not-funny.
65
00:03:14,577 --> 00:03:16,272
Benny Hill's hilarious.
66
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,277
I can't have this conversation again.
67
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,608
[PHONE BEEPS]
68
00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:22,751
Hang on, somebody's calling. Hold on.
69
00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:24,585
- Hello?
- Hey, you gotta see this.
70
00:03:24,754 --> 00:03:27,621
A woman's having fat removed
and it fills an entire trash can.
71
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:30,315
- Ooh. Channel?
- Forty-six.
72
00:03:30,493 --> 00:03:32,654
It's easily the grossest thing
I've ever seen.
73
00:03:32,829 --> 00:03:35,889
Oh! That's disgusting!
74
00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:38,431
Who would watch this?
75
00:03:42,538 --> 00:03:44,403
- Oh, l... I gotta go. Okay.
- Yeah, me too.
76
00:03:46,409 --> 00:03:47,808
Hey, sorry. Sorry.
77
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:51,276
Matthew just wanted me to see this show
where they remove people's fat.
78
00:03:51,447 --> 00:03:54,382
- Ooh. What channel?
- Forty-six.
79
00:03:55,451 --> 00:03:57,316
Oh, my God.
80
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,785
Why would they put her fat
in a trash can?
81
00:03:59,956 --> 00:04:01,821
Yeah. Does the trash man pick that up?
82
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:05,119
Because I can't even get them
to take my old couch.
83
00:04:05,295 --> 00:04:07,024
All right, I gotta get some sleep.
84
00:04:07,196 --> 00:04:10,427
Wait, wait. I called because I felt bad
about how I acted.
85
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,763
I was a real jerk,
and I'd like to make it up to you.
86
00:04:13,937 --> 00:04:16,405
Fine.
Get me a trash can to put my ass in.
87
00:04:16,572 --> 00:04:18,096
[LAUGHS]
88
00:04:18,274 --> 00:04:21,766
Listen, Richard, that's very nice of you,
but you don't have to...
89
00:04:21,945 --> 00:04:23,936
- Oh!
- Ugh!
90
00:04:24,113 --> 00:04:28,015
Wow. That's a powerful vacuum.
91
00:04:29,285 --> 00:04:31,412
Look, let's go out to dinner.
92
00:04:31,587 --> 00:04:33,919
You and Burton, me and Christine.
I'll buy.
93
00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:36,251
A double date? Ooh, I don't know.
94
00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:38,394
- Isn't that's kind of weird?
- Why?
95
00:04:38,561 --> 00:04:39,960
Because we're divorced? So what?
96
00:04:40,129 --> 00:04:42,495
You obviously like this guy.
I'd like to get to know him.
97
00:04:42,665 --> 00:04:44,223
I don't know.
98
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,765
[PHONE BEEPS]
99
00:04:45,935 --> 00:04:47,334
Oh, that's Burton.
100
00:04:47,503 --> 00:04:50,199
Okay, hang on. Don't move.
101
00:04:51,274 --> 00:04:52,969
- Hi there.
- I know I just saw you...
102
00:04:53,142 --> 00:04:56,202
...but I had to hear your voice
one more time before I went to bed.
103
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,973
That is so sweet.
104
00:04:59,148 --> 00:05:03,881
Listen, um,
I've got kind of a weird proposal for you.
105
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:06,146
- Yes.
- Ha-ha-ha!
106
00:05:06,322 --> 00:05:11,089
No. No, Richard's on the other line
and, uh, he wants to take us to dinner...
107
00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:13,660
...to sort of make up
for being such a jerk tonight.
108
00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:17,732
- What do you think? Is that weird?
- Uh, it's very friendly.
109
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,835
Uh, well, next week, we can go
to my ex-wife's for dinner, you know?
110
00:05:21,004 --> 00:05:23,268
Oh, maybe she'll make her famous
l-never-loved-you...
111
00:05:23,439 --> 00:05:26,738
...and-your-former-law-partner-
is-a-better-lover-than-you'll-ever-be potpie.
112
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,035
[LAUGHS]
113
00:05:28,211 --> 00:05:30,406
Ha, ha. We can go to dinner.
114
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,174
Okay, fine.
All right, um, I'll see you tomorrow.
115
00:05:33,349 --> 00:05:34,782
Night.
116
00:05:35,651 --> 00:05:36,879
Hey, we're on.
117
00:05:37,053 --> 00:05:39,453
Great. I'll talk to Christine
and call you tomorrow.
118
00:05:39,622 --> 00:05:40,748
Okay, sounds like a plan.
119
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:41,912
[PHONE BEEPS]
120
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,854
Oh, God, this is Matthew again.
I gotta go.
121
00:05:44,027 --> 00:05:46,154
- Bye.
- What?
122
00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:49,264
They're removing a 200-pound tumor
from this guy's leg.
123
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,696
- Ooh. Channel?
- Sixty-three.
124
00:05:56,305 --> 00:05:58,865
Thanks for doing this, honey.
I think it's really gonna be fun.
125
00:05:59,642 --> 00:06:01,837
Do you?
You're not gonna feel a little icky...
126
00:06:02,011 --> 00:06:04,206
...about seeing your ex-wife
with a serious boyfriend?
127
00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:05,745
No. Why would I?
128
00:06:05,915 --> 00:06:07,405
If anything, it's a relief.
129
00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:08,811
If Christine pairs up...
130
00:06:08,985 --> 00:06:11,749
...then we don't have to feel guilty
about our relationship.
131
00:06:14,257 --> 00:06:17,488
- You feel guilty?
- Did I say guilty?
132
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,862
I meant lucky. Which is basically
the same thing when you're Catholic.
133
00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:25,797
Luckily, you're a better kisser than a liar.
134
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:30,564
Hi.
135
00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:33,706
Hi.
136
00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:35,935
- Hi.
- Oh, hi. Sorry.
137
00:06:36,112 --> 00:06:37,807
- We were just...
- Yeah. We saw.
138
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:40,073
Very classy.
139
00:06:40,249 --> 00:06:44,743
Uh, so, Burton, you've met Richard,
and this is his girlfriend, New Christine.
140
00:06:44,921 --> 00:06:46,149
- Hi.
- Hi.
141
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:48,847
Actually, I'm not new.
I've been here for 28 years.
142
00:06:49,025 --> 00:06:51,585
I'm just new compared to her.
143
00:06:51,761 --> 00:06:54,992
Well, let's eat quickly,
because I have to get back to the home.
144
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:59,931
Okay. Well, now, I'm new too
so I guess you can just call me New Burton.
145
00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:03,129
- Isn't that a town in Connecticut?
- Yeah.
146
00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:05,536
[LAUGHING]
147
00:07:05,708 --> 00:07:08,074
[CHRISTINE AND RICHARD SIGH]
148
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:13,444
So, Burton, I just wanna say sorry
about the other night.
149
00:07:13,616 --> 00:07:15,777
We both said some things we regret.
150
00:07:15,952 --> 00:07:19,581
- I don't remember saying anything.
- I accept your apology.
151
00:07:19,755 --> 00:07:21,814
Let's just forget about it
and have a good night.
152
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,385
- Good evening.
CHRISTINE: Hi.
153
00:07:26,562 --> 00:07:28,393
I will be back to take your drink orders.
154
00:07:28,564 --> 00:07:30,156
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
155
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:38,368
You okay there?
156
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:42,875
Yeah, it's my...
My new date-night underwear.
157
00:07:43,412 --> 00:07:46,108
I just got to fifth base.
158
00:07:46,916 --> 00:07:49,680
Really, I want you to feel free
to say anything around me.
159
00:07:49,852 --> 00:07:51,410
[LAUGHS]
160
00:07:57,093 --> 00:07:59,425
- Christine, you look great tonight.
- Oh, thank you.
161
00:07:59,595 --> 00:08:01,654
Yeah. Your makeup's really doing its job.
162
00:08:03,332 --> 00:08:06,665
- So, what's everybody having?
- L... I'm sorry.
163
00:08:06,836 --> 00:08:09,202
My makeup is doing its job?
164
00:08:09,372 --> 00:08:11,306
What...? What did that mean?
165
00:08:11,474 --> 00:08:13,908
What? It was a compliment.
You look good.
166
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:17,443
Wha...? Richard, you don't compliment
a person's makeup.
167
00:08:17,613 --> 00:08:21,208
You compliment their face,
not the thing that's covering up their face.
168
00:08:22,618 --> 00:08:26,247
That's like... That's like talking
about somebody's girdle.
169
00:08:27,356 --> 00:08:30,052
That looks like it's doing its job too.
170
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:37,529
You know, people in love-handle houses
should not throw stones, buddy.
171
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:40,726
You guys, stop. I'm sure
you're making Burton uncomfortable.
172
00:08:40,903 --> 00:08:42,996
No. No, it's fine.
Actually, I'm very comfortable.
173
00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:44,969
Reminds me of my honeymoon. Heh.
174
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,441
Minus the flying ashtrays
and Moroccan police.
175
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,408
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
176
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:54,346
You're right. I promise we won't be sniping
at each other all night, right?
177
00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:56,451
I'm sorry too. It's a bad habit.
178
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,110
- Can we just start this whole night over?
- I like that idea.
179
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:00,516
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
- Okay.
180
00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:03,124
So, Burton,
what sort of law do you practice?
181
00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,759
Uh, I'm an immigration lawyer.
182
00:09:04,927 --> 00:09:07,623
Mostly Mexico and Central America.
183
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,493
I like it a lot. You know,
helping people find a better life...
184
00:09:10,666 --> 00:09:13,362
...and get a little piece
of the American dream.
185
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,374
Of course,
we still have a long ways to go.
186
00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:26,242
Heh-heh. But, uh...
187
00:09:26,415 --> 00:09:29,942
Anyway, most recently, I've been down
in Tijuana trying to reunite this family.
188
00:09:30,119 --> 00:09:32,815
The mom's been working here
and the kids are down there while she's...
189
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,320
[LAUGHING]
190
00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:37,582
It's really, uh... It's really sad.
191
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,057
[LAUGHING]
192
00:09:39,228 --> 00:09:41,287
Yeah, I always get a laugh at that part.
193
00:09:41,464 --> 00:09:42,954
No, I'm sorry.
194
00:09:43,132 --> 00:09:44,724
It's just when you said Tijuana...
195
00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:48,063
...it reminded me of this story
that Christine and I have.
196
00:09:48,237 --> 00:09:51,331
No, no.
Lord, please do not tell that story, okay?
197
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:54,101
I am trying to make a good impression.
198
00:09:54,277 --> 00:09:56,336
- Now I've gotta hear the story. What is it?
- No. No.
199
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:58,537
We were in this bar,
Christine was drunk...
200
00:09:58,714 --> 00:10:00,841
...which by the way,
is how most of our stories start.
201
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,450
Oh. That's lovely. Thank you.
202
00:10:02,618 --> 00:10:05,109
She stole the waiter's whistle,
started giving everyone shots.
203
00:10:05,288 --> 00:10:07,722
No, I didn't steal the whistle.
204
00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:12,088
Gosh, I bought it
by showing the waiter my bra.
205
00:10:12,828 --> 00:10:15,319
- And?
- My underwear.
206
00:10:15,498 --> 00:10:19,730
- And?
- The top of my butt.
207
00:10:19,902 --> 00:10:22,302
[LAUGHING]
208
00:10:22,905 --> 00:10:25,305
Which, by the way,
is how most of our stories end.
209
00:10:25,474 --> 00:10:27,874
[BOTH LAUGHING]
210
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:35,005
Uncle Matthew,
what does my mom do when she goes out?
211
00:10:36,018 --> 00:10:38,953
Uh, what does she tell you she does?
212
00:10:40,323 --> 00:10:42,154
She just says she's going out.
213
00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:45,522
Okay, well, if you have to know.
214
00:10:45,695 --> 00:10:47,720
When your mom goes out she...
215
00:10:50,499 --> 00:10:52,558
She fights crime.
216
00:10:56,305 --> 00:10:58,830
- Why does she get all dressed up?
- Well, that's her disguise.
217
00:10:59,008 --> 00:11:01,272
She brushes her hair
and puts on clean clothes...
218
00:11:01,444 --> 00:11:03,810
...so no one will recognize her.
219
00:11:03,979 --> 00:11:05,139
Oh.
220
00:11:05,314 --> 00:11:07,646
You know what, Ritchie,
no more questions about your mom.
221
00:11:07,817 --> 00:11:09,307
Okay.
222
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:12,682
What makes some people gay?
223
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:17,688
Your mom's on a date.
224
00:11:19,795 --> 00:11:21,490
[LAUGHING]
225
00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:23,632
And you couldn't say anything...
226
00:11:23,799 --> 00:11:25,664
...because he knew...
227
00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:27,427
...you were wearing...
228
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:29,764
[LAUGHING]
229
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,236
- His hat!
230
00:11:31,407 --> 00:11:34,137
[LAUGHING]
231
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:41,807
Yeah, they never run out of stories.
Not ever.
232
00:11:41,984 --> 00:11:44,214
Ever, ever, ever.
233
00:11:45,254 --> 00:11:48,246
That last one had a twist though.
They were sober. Heh.
234
00:11:48,557 --> 00:11:50,718
Didn't see that coming.
235
00:11:51,494 --> 00:11:52,722
Remember Vermont?
236
00:11:52,895 --> 00:11:54,590
No, Richard, don't.
237
00:11:54,764 --> 00:11:56,959
I think they're... They're mad.
238
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,931
Burton, are you getting mad?
239
00:12:01,737 --> 00:12:05,696
Why would I be mad?
It's like watching an alcoholic travel show.
240
00:12:07,009 --> 00:12:09,409
Oh, we gotta do this again real soon.
241
00:12:09,578 --> 00:12:12,775
I'm at my mother's next week, so it
would have to be the week after that.
242
00:12:12,948 --> 00:12:14,210
Yeah, or never.
243
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,576
Oh, right. Or never.
244
00:12:19,255 --> 00:12:21,985
- Wait, you're really mad?
- No, it's... It's fine.
245
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:25,321
It doesn't matter, all right?
I'm just... I'm gonna go get the car.
246
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:26,927
You know, I think I'll go with you.
247
00:12:27,963 --> 00:12:29,055
Uh-oh.
248
00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:31,495
Well, we'll be right there.
249
00:12:33,235 --> 00:12:35,294
Ass!
250
00:12:36,572 --> 00:12:39,336
Me? What? You were laughing too.
251
00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:42,068
At least I didn't do the duck walk
for the waiter.
252
00:12:42,244 --> 00:12:43,711
Richard, that got a laugh.
253
00:12:43,879 --> 00:12:46,143
And you know damn well,
if I'm getting a laugh...
254
00:12:46,315 --> 00:12:48,146
...l'm not gonna stop.
255
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:51,251
- This is your fault.
- How is this my fault?
256
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:53,820
Because you kept telling
those tired old stories...
257
00:12:53,989 --> 00:12:56,685
...and making Burton
feel completely left out.
258
00:12:56,859 --> 00:13:00,795
He's a lawyer.
I'd think he'd be used to being left out.
259
00:13:00,963 --> 00:13:02,260
Ass!
260
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,632
Christine.
261
00:13:05,301 --> 00:13:06,734
Christine.
262
00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:10,861
Christine. Christine.
263
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,974
Wait. Wait.
264
00:13:13,142 --> 00:13:15,007
Are you actually mad at me?
265
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:20,345
You spent the entire evening
trying to sabotage my relationship.
266
00:13:20,516 --> 00:13:23,280
- Why would I do that?
- I don't know, Richard.
267
00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:26,182
Maybe that's a question
you need to be asking yourself.
268
00:13:27,456 --> 00:13:30,983
Richard, I really like this guy.
269
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,957
I feel good when I'm with him.
270
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,497
He's the first guy that I've met
since we broke up...
271
00:13:36,665 --> 00:13:39,361
...that I could really see myself
staying with.
272
00:13:41,370 --> 00:13:42,803
Oh.
273
00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:46,840
Well, that's good.
274
00:13:47,443 --> 00:13:48,740
That's great.
275
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,846
I just hope he forgives me.
276
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,584
- Hi.
- Hello.
277
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:01,723
Oh, I am so sorry you had a terrible time.
278
00:14:01,891 --> 00:14:05,759
Well, we've been together for six dates
now. You gotta take the bad with the good.
279
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,362
Can you forgive me?
I mean, we just...
280
00:14:08,531 --> 00:14:10,590
We get caught up in our old stuff.
281
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:14,759
Yeah, you know, speaking of that old stuff,
there seems to be a lot of it.
282
00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:16,266
Should I be threatened?
283
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:17,905
Oh, God, no.
284
00:14:18,073 --> 00:14:21,440
That's just a bunch of dumb stories
from a million years ago.
285
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:23,877
I wanna make new stories.
286
00:14:24,046 --> 00:14:25,274
With you.
287
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:29,042
Yeah, then we can take your new boyfriend
out to dinner, and rub it in his face.
288
00:14:29,218 --> 00:14:31,118
Oh, please, Burton.
289
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:36,281
I mean, if you let me,
I promise I can make it up to you.
290
00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,125
How are you gonna do that?
291
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:44,995
Well, I can think of, uh, five ways
just like right off the top of my head.
292
00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:49,536
The first two, you are truly gonna love.
293
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,099
And the third is mostly for me.
294
00:14:53,676 --> 00:14:57,806
Well, let's start with the third
and then work our way backwards.
295
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,413
Wow.
296
00:14:59,582 --> 00:15:01,345
[LAUGHS]
297
00:15:02,618 --> 00:15:06,247
And so the good news is
Christine really, really likes him.
298
00:15:06,422 --> 00:15:09,323
- Well, that is good news.
- That's what I said. I'm happy for her.
299
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:12,324
- Yeah, maybe they'll get married.
- Hey, wouldn't that be swell?
300
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,586
[ENGINE REVVING]
301
00:15:13,762 --> 00:15:15,423
[SCREAMS]
302
00:15:16,799 --> 00:15:19,768
Watch.
I'm gonna get blamed for this too.
303
00:15:24,306 --> 00:15:26,171
- How is he?
- What did they say?
304
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,810
We don't know yet, but it looks bad.
305
00:15:28,978 --> 00:15:31,105
It might be his toe.
306
00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:34,075
His toe? Oh, God, which one?
307
00:15:34,249 --> 00:15:37,047
The one that went to market
or the one that ate roast beef?
308
00:15:39,421 --> 00:15:42,652
Hey, a toe injury is not funny, Richard.
309
00:15:42,825 --> 00:15:45,157
It's true. I lost the nail on my pinky toe.
310
00:15:45,327 --> 00:15:46,760
It never grew back.
311
00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:49,397
Now I have to paint the skin.
312
00:15:53,469 --> 00:15:56,927
Richard. Richard,
have you seen the medical shows?
313
00:15:57,106 --> 00:16:00,098
I mean, toe injuries can lead
to very serious complications.
314
00:16:00,275 --> 00:16:02,004
In some cases, death.
315
00:16:02,845 --> 00:16:06,576
Oh. Forgive me. I didn't realize I was
speaking to a medical professional, Doctor?
316
00:16:06,749 --> 00:16:09,775
Shove it. Janice P. Shove-it, M.D.
317
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:13,210
- That's very mature.
- Oh. You wanna talk about mature?
318
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,118
You just tried to kill my boyfriend.
319
00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:17,417
- I was there, it wasn't...
- It was an accident.
320
00:16:17,593 --> 00:16:19,060
Oh. There are no accidents, Richard.
321
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:23,858
I mean, maybe you didn't mean to do it,
but you still did do it unconsciously.
322
00:16:24,033 --> 00:16:25,432
Unconsciously? Like in a coma?
323
00:16:25,601 --> 00:16:27,728
- I think she means sub...
- No. You are unbelievable!
324
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,167
- Don't you mean sub-believable?
- Ugh.
325
00:16:30,339 --> 00:16:32,432
You know what I mean, you toe killer!
326
00:16:32,608 --> 00:16:35,236
All right, stop it. That's enough.
I can't take it anymore.
327
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:38,073
You're not even making sense.
You're just saying words.
328
00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:42,416
You see?
Even your girlfriend thinks you're an ass.
329
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:45,712
- Well, you're an ass too, Christine.
- Me? What did I do?
330
00:16:45,888 --> 00:16:48,322
It's both of you
and this messed up dynamic you have.
331
00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:50,617
You get going
and it's like no one else exists.
332
00:16:50,793 --> 00:16:53,023
And it's not just tonight. It's all the time.
333
00:16:53,195 --> 00:16:55,993
With the constant phone calls
and the daily visits...
334
00:16:56,165 --> 00:16:57,530
...the obnoxious reminiscing.
335
00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,794
It was only a matter of time
before someone got hurt.
336
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:07,269
You're supposed to be divorced.
Why can't you act like it?
337
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:11,379
Christine, you have to understand,
we have a kid together.
338
00:17:11,547 --> 00:17:12,809
We're always gonna be connected.
339
00:17:12,981 --> 00:17:15,472
Oh, don't pull that.
This has nothing to do with your kid.
340
00:17:15,651 --> 00:17:18,347
This is the two of you
unable to separate from each other.
341
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,681
- I'm leaving.
- I'll go with you.
342
00:17:20,856 --> 00:17:22,551
No, you stay here, Richard.
343
00:17:22,725 --> 00:17:25,489
I'm serious. You two need to figure out
what your deal is...
344
00:17:25,661 --> 00:17:29,062
...because until you do,
I don't think there's any room in it for me.
345
00:17:35,771 --> 00:17:37,568
I need the keys.
346
00:17:46,782 --> 00:17:48,807
I need money for parking.
347
00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:01,058
- Yes!
- Nice work, Dr. Campbell.
348
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:03,926
- Thanks.
- Okay.
349
00:18:04,099 --> 00:18:06,966
"Remove Adam's apple,
including the core.
350
00:18:07,136 --> 00:18:10,902
You'll end up with money
and friends galore."
351
00:18:11,306 --> 00:18:14,742
Well, I'm really not in it
for the money and friends. I'm a healer.
352
00:18:18,547 --> 00:18:20,174
So why does my mom go on dates?
353
00:18:20,949 --> 00:18:25,682
Well, because sometimes grownups
like to go out with people their own age.
354
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,080
You're her age. Why don't you date her?
355
00:18:28,257 --> 00:18:29,690
[GAME BUZZES]
356
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:36,920
Well, most people like to date
outside their immediate family.
357
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,665
And it's a law.
358
00:18:39,835 --> 00:18:41,928
A good law.
359
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,934
What do you do on a date?
360
00:18:46,675 --> 00:18:50,304
Well, you, uh, talk and you laugh.
361
00:18:50,479 --> 00:18:53,448
Sometimes you wrestle.
362
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,449
Oh.
363
00:18:56,618 --> 00:18:58,609
What's intercourse?
364
00:19:02,157 --> 00:19:06,184
It's something to do with golf.
You should ask your mom.
365
00:19:07,529 --> 00:19:11,727
- Does mom golf?
- Oh, she's been known to hit the links.
366
00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:15,894
[RICHARD SIGHS]
367
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:20,033
- You get through to Christine?
- No, she must've turned off her cell.
368
00:19:20,209 --> 00:19:21,574
Thanks.
369
00:19:22,110 --> 00:19:24,305
So, what do you think?
Do you think she's right?
370
00:19:24,479 --> 00:19:27,209
- Do we have a weird dynamic?
- No.
371
00:19:27,382 --> 00:19:29,907
I mean, sure, we're closer
than most divorced people...
372
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:32,781
...but I think that's healthy.
373
00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:36,788
I guess.
374
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:38,651
[SIGHS]
375
00:19:38,827 --> 00:19:42,160
But I don't want our old relationship
to get in the way of our new ones.
376
00:19:42,331 --> 00:19:44,492
I don't either.
Maybe we need some boundaries.
377
00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:45,894
Yeah.
378
00:19:46,068 --> 00:19:48,832
Like I guess I shouldn't call you
every night before I go to bed, huh?
379
00:19:49,004 --> 00:19:51,063
Maybe I shouldn't just drop by
unannounced.
380
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:55,540
And of course, no running over
each other's dates with a car.
381
00:19:56,845 --> 00:19:59,507
Seems a little extreme, but okay.
382
00:20:00,148 --> 00:20:03,208
And we won't call each other
every time there's something gross on TV.
383
00:20:03,385 --> 00:20:05,444
Well, what if it's something
that concerns Ritchie?
384
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,486
- We have to talk then.
- Right, of course.
385
00:20:07,656 --> 00:20:09,624
We'll talk then, but only then.
386
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:12,351
Yeah, I think that can work.
387
00:20:12,527 --> 00:20:15,519
You should probably stop thinking
of me when you're having sex with Burton.
388
00:20:19,902 --> 00:20:24,362
Richard, I didn't even think of you
when I was having sex with you.
389
00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:30,077
I don't wanna play with you anymore.
390
00:20:31,747 --> 00:20:34,807
God, this is big, you know?
391
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:36,951
Things are gonna change a lot with us.
392
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:39,747
I know. But it's gotta be done.
393
00:20:39,922 --> 00:20:42,220
- There are other people now.
- Yeah.
394
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:44,391
And by the way...
395
00:20:44,559 --> 00:20:47,551
...I think it did bother me
seeing you with someone else tonight.
396
00:20:47,729 --> 00:20:49,458
But it doesn't mean
I'm not happy for you.
397
00:20:49,631 --> 00:20:52,600
Oh, thank you.
398
00:20:53,769 --> 00:20:55,236
About you and New Christine?
399
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,968
Thank you for being happy for me.
400
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:29,026
[ENGLISH SDH]
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