Original subtitles

I was just looking at some old photos.

Did I ever tell you about the madam's first Christmas in Valley View?

It was definitely one I'll never forget.

Yay! It's the day before Christmas.

The favorite day of the year.

Wow, that is a lot of excitement for a fat guy coming down a chimney.

Hey, guys.

Here it is. Our first family Christmas tree. We cut it down ourselves.

We? I cut it down. And I told you to do it. That's teamwork, Jake.

Isn't this great?

The smell of the trees, the cookies in the oven, and everyone's just a little

bit nicer to each other.

Did you just chop down my tree?

Never mind the halls. I'm about to deck you in the... Ah, Grandma!

It's the holidays.

Remember what your anger management coach said. Show some compassion.

And try to keep it together till your next appointment.

Fine. Since I gave you a tree, you're about to help me finish my Christmas to

-do list. The shopping, the wrapping, the decorating.

You haven't done any of it?

Nah. From Thanksgiving on, I just sit in a chair waiting for the cold in the air

to match the cold in my heart.

Well, Colby will be happy to help. Me? Why me?

Because you seem like you'd be the least happy to help.

Come on, elf boy. Time to clock you in to Celia's workshop.

You're gonna look great in green tight.

She's kidding about the tights, right?

It's the pointy shoes you should be worried about.

Oh, did you get the number one thing on both of our Christmas lists? I mean...

It is the first time we're exchanging gifts on the biggest holiday of the

but no pressure.

We asked for bumps. You know those cool headphones that sound amazing and double

as a weapon when you throw them like a boomerang?

Those are the hottest gifts this year. They're almost impossible to find.

But remember, Christmas isn't just about the presents.

Of course not.

But fair warning, me getting those headphones will determine whether or not

have a happy new year.

Oh, Amy, let them enjoy their new year.

It's the rest of the year they should be worried about.

Can you believe them?

Like, we wouldn't get the top thing on their list.

Seriously.

I didn't buy them, did you? I didn't know there was a list.

If you want to know what you're getting, you can just ask me. I already opened

all your gifts and re -wrapped them again.

Amy! I opened all of hers, too.

Jake! I had to make sure her gifts weren't better than mine.

They're not. Hope you like a sweater that says, Slay It Ain't So.

I can't believe you two. All you care about are the presents. That is not what

Christmas is about.

Yeah. I think the bigger problem is I opened all those gifts and I didn't see

one pair of bumps. Neither did I. And it's almost Christmas. What if they

get them? I'm losing my mind, Amy. I'm losing my mind.

How do you think I feel? I was counting on those to tune you out.

This gift wrapping thing is hard work.

Next year everyone's getting their presents in old grocery bags.

Two more gifts for under the tree. One for Amy, one for Jake.

I can't wait any longer.

What's this?

Your number one gig?

No, we wanted Bump. These are Zump.

Bump, Zump. What's the difference?

Oh, about $100 since you left the price tag on.

These are knockoffs.

Look, we tried every store in Bollywood and they're all sold out. Sorry.

We hate to drop bad news and leave, but we also hate to drop bad news and stay.

It's time for plan B.

Buying them ourselves and reminding Mom and Dad they're horrible parents.

Exactly. Valley View might not have any, but someplace in Texas has to have a

pair. To the Internet!

You two are a lost cause.

Oh, yes.

Okay, this says a store a few times over has one pair left.

But we need two pairs.

Oh, right.

Yes, could you put your last pair of bumps on hold for me, please?

Ma 'am, it's Christmas. That type of language is uncalled for.

Look at those suckers.

Putting in all that work decorating their houses for the holidays just to

it down two weeks later.

On the plus side, I do enjoy seeing the occasional middle -aged man fall off a

roof.

Stephen's greetings, Madden.

Yikes! Your house looks like where Holiday Cheer goes to die.

Nope, still depressing.

I guess the glasses weren't the problem.

I beg to differ.

Where are all your decorations?

Not really our thing.

Well, you two scrooges are missing out. Every Christmas Eve, the best decorated

house in the neighborhood wins the grand prize.

And suddenly... It is, I'll say.

Well, you're a little late. The judging starts in a few hours.

This year, I got an inflatable snow woman and I dressed her up as Jennifer

Lopez.

I call her Jay Snow.

Get this.

She dances as she throws snowballs at unsuspecting people passing by.

It's not that impressive.

That's impractical.

And that's why I always win.

Oh, dear.

Jay Snow just took out Mr. Stoudemire's Yorkie.

Well, that'll teach him to turn my snow yellow.

Toodle.

Time to make this house look like Christmas threw up all over it.

I want to beat him, too, but there's barely any time to decorate.

You know, money or labor.

We'll just use our powers. You can amp up the lights to be the brightest on the

block, and we'll get Kobe to do the rest. Because why have kids if not to

them do our dirty work?

I don't know. It still seems like a lot of effort.

Okay.

Now I'm in.

There you are.

You... You barely made a dent in my Christmas to -do list. I need a break.

I've spent my entire day wrapping your presents, decorating your tree. I mean,

even replaced the transmission in your car.

Look, I really am grateful for your help. I even brought you this gift to

my appreciation.

What is it?

It's a Christmas troll in a bowl.

He keeps an eye on you to make sure you behave, or you won't get any presents on

Christmas morning.

Yeah, right. I'm not a little kid, Celia. That's not going to work.

Wait. Did that thing just wink at me?

I don't know. Did he?

I sure wish I had some help with my Christmas to -do list.

You know what?

Turns out I have more energy than I thought.

Good, because I have a longer list than I thought.

Bump! I need the bump!

I need the more.

I'll do anything.

I'll wash your car. I'll clean your house. Don't have a house? I'll build

one.

Sorry, you're out of luck. Just sold the last pair.

To who?

Whoever it is, we can take him.

To her.

Happy holidays.

Uh -oh.

I don't suppose security could walk me out?

Hartley, what are you doing?

You know I wanted those headphones.

Well, how do you know I wasn't buying them for you?

Were you?

No way. These babies are all mine.

I'm sorry, but...

I wanted them, too. And when I found out there was only one pair left, I had to

get them.

Well, it's official.

My first Christmas is ruined.

Ha! You didn't get them.

Neither did you.

You don't have to rub it in.

I can't believe you bought all this stuff.

Why would I buy it when it's sitting on people's houses right for the taking?

Hey, Colby, give us a hand with these Christmas decorations.

Sorry, I'm already helping Celia. But we're trying to create joy, like greed.

And a good son would help us first.

I... am happy to help.

What do you need? You can start by untangling these.

You know, a good son would stop there, but a great son will go hang these for

you.

Guilt tricks are the secret to good parenting.

Ha -ha!

Well, that looked great cold.

Okay, now use your kinetic manipulation to put that dog with the inflamed nose

on top of the roof.

That's a reindeer.

I don't care what it is, it just needs to fly.

most dysfunctional activity scene.

How is that reindeer floating in midair?

We don't share secrets with our competition.

Looks like he's played his last reindeer game.

Mr. Tennyson, we're trying to work here.

Well, you're wasting your time. The judges will be here in a couple of

but it'll be fun to watch you fail.

I'll tag you.

Excuse us.

How are we going to decorate Vass with him around?

We can't use our powers.

A fake wreath?

Yikes. I didn't know you were those people.

I got this.

Oh, no.

It looks like Jay Snow is deflating.

I mean, you better hurry. She's blowing away.

Snackoffs are as good as the real thing.

All I hear is crackling.

Yeah, I could use a snack, too.

Oh, look. It's the ghost of Dole, my Christmas present.

I just wanted to say I was wanting to get the headphones when I knew you both

wanted them.

So, in the spirit of Christmas, I returned them.

Maybe now we can move past all this and...

Enjoy your first Christmas here together.

Wow, I can't believe you did that for a... Yeah, what a great friend.

Just trying to spread some Christmas cheer.

See you later.

Wait, so if Harley returned the headphones, then that means there's one

left.

The work ethic has really improved.

You didn't complain once about having to cook my Christmas Eve pie roast.

Pie roast was easy. It was stuffing it inside the turkey that almost broke me.

Wait, how'd the troll get over here? It keeps moving.

Oh, he gets around.

That's how he keeps an eye on you. And for the really naughty ones, that's how

he takes matters into his own little tiny troll hand.

I forgot to add a few minor home repairs to my to -do list.

How are you at soundproofing a basement?

Oh, I can't take this anymore.

I mean, be right over.

Hey, Colby.

How did my troll in a bowl get over here?

Your grandma gave it to me as a gift.

She said being nice is the only way I'll get presents.

He's been spying on me all day.

He's everywhere.

Colby, it's just a doll. It doesn't move, and it's definitely not watching

But he is creepy, so I am going to turn him around.

Well, if it's just a doll, then how do you explain it winking and nodding in

response to what I said?

My grandma uses a remote to make it do all that stuff.

She can also make it dispense peppermints from a very unexpected

I can't believe you fell for that.

How was I supposed to know?

I've never celebrated Christmas before. None of it makes sense.

Eggnog, mistletoe, it's insanity.

My grandma used the troll to trick you into being good. She's been doing it to

me since I was four.

Wait, is that why I'm such a good person?

She totally used that thing to sucker me into doing whatever she wanted.

Well, now it's my turn to get even.

You were not kidding about those peppermints.

No,

they're already closed.

I can't believe we missed out on the last pair of bumps by ten minutes.

Told you barreling through all those carolers wasn't going to save you any

It wasn't meant to.

Let's hope that they're still here in a couple days.

No way.

Look, the whole point of Christmas is to have your gift on Christmas Day. Look,

I want them too, but there's nothing we can do.

I'm going home.

Oh, there's definitely something I can do.

Who needs a chimney?

I'll take those. How did you even get in here?

Well, you were doing things the complicated way. I took the simple route

used my super strength to rip the back door off its hinges.

It just got really complicated once I tried to repair it.

What are you doing?

Checking for security cameras.

Already disabled them.

Oh, good.

Then no one will see me do that.

Got him.

Not so fast.

Thank you.

That's what I call express shipping.

Uh,

clean up. I'll lose her.

Don't move.

Good news, Jake. They're yours.

That's right.

Gaze upon the dazzling display of your new champion.

You may applaud now.

What is going on here?

How did you pull off this grander...

how Jason knows where he can stay detached, then maybe we'll talk.

Oh, great.

The judges are only a couple of houses away.

I can't believe the most pedestrian house in the neighborhood is going to

grand prize.

Aw, looks like your winning streak is over.

It's probably for the best.

I've had a very long day, and I'm not TV ready.

TV ready?

Yeah.

gonna be interviewed live on the six o 'clock news wait that's the grand prize

what'd you think it was cash not this podunk town honey wait so we're

gonna be on tv in front of our house and everyone will know where we live this

definitely isn't good for our whole villains in hiding things the judges are

here

Tell you what happened.

You overloaded your fuse box.

That's why I always start decorating in August.

So I have plenty of time to reroute the electricity from Mrs. Stoudemire's house

to mine.

Let Ho -Ho go.

Check out my display.

Are we sure he's not a villain?

Closest thing I've ever seen in one.

I need my bedroom painted.

And it's too cold to crack a window, so you're going to have to fight through

the fumes.

Leave the kid alone.

What? Who said that?

I did.

But you can't talk.

Oh, I can do lots of things, like spy on you when you're being bad.

Me? I'm not bad.

Christmas to -do list on Christmas Eve.

Okay, I'm bad.

But I'll be better.

I don't believe you.

Yeah, I don't believe me either.

There's only one way to fix this. Buy each of the Maddens a Christmas gift.

Already did.

Really? No, I'm lying.

She's gone.

I normally don't like fooling my grandma, but she's been using that troll

traumatize me for years.

Hey, where's the real troll?

Oh, I threw it away.

Yes, I'm finally free.

Time for Hartley to let loose.

That may have been an overcorrection.

Lisa, I am begging you, do not call the police.

But if you do, her name is Amy. Amy Madden.

And my name is Colby.

We're sorry. This was all a stupid act of desperation that just got out of

That's how I started my wedding vows.

Look, we were just being selfish because we really wanted those headphones.

You see, our friend got the last pair, but then she returned them because... If

you couldn't have them, she didn't think it was fair for her to have me either.

Told me the whole story.

That girl can talk.

But you're lucky.

Friends like her are hard to find.

Yeah.

All we did was make her less of a priority than a pair of headphones.

Just remember, presents come and go, but it's the people in your life, the ones

you love and who love you back, that really matter.

Especially at Christmas.

Hartley's been saying that all day, but neither of us listened to her.

Now we're going to jail.

We're not going to jail.

Are we?

Well, technically you didn't steal anything yet.

And it is Christmas Eve.

So how about this? You two clean up the mess you made. You go home to your

family.

Where you belong.

Thank you.

Consider it a gift.

Now it's your turn to pay it forward.

And who knows? You might just realize it actually feels better to give than to

receive.

Okay, let's not get crazy.

You heard him, Colby. Clean this up.

Do I smell French toast?

And bacon and eggs. I made you all a big holiday breakfast.

Wait, you did something nice for us.

Oh, I don't like this at all.

Let's just say I had a bowl of Christmas spirit dumped on my head.

Okay, enough talking. It's time for presents.

Oh, here, Hartley. Open yours first.

To Hartley from Jake and Amy.

You realize you were right.

Christmas is about showing the people you love how much they mean to you.

But how'd you get them?

You know what? I don't need to know.

Merry Christmas, Hartley.

Just a heads up, we'll be borrowing them all the time.

Like right now.

Here you go, kid.

Yes!

A troll in a bowl?

Isn't he cute?

He's gonna watch.

Don't even think about re -gifting that to me.

Look, I know you couldn't get our top choice, but any gift at all will be...

Yes! Boom! Oh, thank you for not making me pretend to like something I didn't

want.

But I thought you couldn't find them. We lied, so it'd be a surprise.

Because lying is what Christmas is all about.

Right, Harley?

Yeah, sure, I give up.

I got you all gifts, too.

You don't say.

Breakfast and presents?

Call a doctor.

Now, what did you get me?

Merry Christmas, Celia.

And that was the Madden's first Christmas in Valley View.

It was also when I received the best gift ever because it was given with the

true spirit of Christmas.