Original subtitles

Looks so funny. Our Spanish teacher, Mr.

Fuentes, got food poisoning and puke all over some kid in class.

It caused a puke chain reaction.

Then I told everyone it was Sloppy Joe's for lunch, and it started all over

again.

How is that funny?

How is it not?

Oh, Hartley, you just don't get comedy.

Luckily, Milo and I have the same twisted sense of humor.

Other people's misery just makes me giggle.

In less gross news, I just became head of the school dance committee.

Nope, still gross.

I've wanted to be in charge of planning the school dance forever. This one's

going to be at the roundup. It's way bigger than the gym. But we won't have

walk by a bin of jock straps to get to the dance floor.

Ugh, dances are bad enough. How lame do you have to be to want to plan one?

I want to be on the planning committee.

Ding, ding, ding, and we have a winner.

Dances are an essential part of the high school experience, and I've always

wanted to go. And now I can help plan my first one.

Well, I could use an idea, Guy.

Welcome aboard.

I hope I don't make you walk the plank, matey.

Not sure why I went down this weird pirate path.

What's going on?

Look, the mascot has flowers.

Looks like someone's getting a promposal. A what? When a person really

someone, they stage an elaborate production to ask them to the dance.

I feel sorry for the sucker who has to do all of this just to get a date.

Milo? Yeah, that tracks.

Milady, will you do the honor of going to the dance with me?

Go on, Hartley. Give the kid an answer.

I don't think he's asking me.

Well, then who's he asking?

Hurry up and see I'll go to the dance with me. My knee still hurts from a

Renaissance Fair debacle.

Yeah, that's not something you want to say out loud.

Can you excuse us?

What do I do? I thought Milo and I were just friends.

You see, this is what I get for not despising everyone.

Somehow Milo managed to cram in everything you hate. A school dance, a

band, and cheerleaders, all while embarrassing you in public.

This is priceless.

Keep talking, and I'll find a new use for that trombone.

Look, I don't want to hurt Milo's feelings, but this is definitely not

happening. Then say no.

Milo clearly mistook your kindness for something else, and you should have to

make things clear.

I don't even know how you mistook it for kindness.

All right, now get out there and crush that little boy's dreams.

Okay, here goes.

Look, Milo.

I appreciate you putting this whole thing together.

Can you put the letters down?

But I just don't like you like that.

Wait, you think I like you like that?

Ew!

Okay, I get the point. You don't need that many W's.

I only asked you to the dance because you're my friend and I thought it might

fun.

Plus, I didn't want to have to go with my mom.

Again.

Well, if you're only asking me as a friend, then why the over -the -top

promposal? I figured if I made a public spectacle, it'd be harder for you to say

no like other girls do.

So what do you say?

Friend?

Very manipulative.

I respect that.

Sure, why not?

She said yes. Hit it, y 'all.

Seriously?

When they said they had a hard out at 8 .05, they weren't kidding.

I think we have a problem. I know. Our mayor has passed the expiration date,

I cannot stand a dry hoagie. Besides, it's 1998, really, that long ago.

No. I mean, ever since I gave Dad my kinetic manipulation power, weird things

have been happening around the house.

Well, I haven't noticed anything.

Oh!

Hey! For your own questionable hoagie.

Everything okay in here?

No. You just hit me in the face with Mom's sandwich.

No harm, no foul.

Still gonna eat it.

I'm sorry. I was trying to pick up my phone, which was next to the sandwich.

Sounds like you're having trouble with your kinetic manipulation.

Maybe I should give you some pointers.

I'm a genius. I don't need pointers.

Well, your mom didn't just make lunch off your face.

Relax. I'll get you a napkin.

I never liked that place.

Guess what theme I picked for the school dance?

Beyond the Stars.

What do you think?

I think we should be concerned that your drawing skills are that of a fifth

grader.

All right, Amy, here's your water.

And Hartley, here's a list of reasons why we should drop your theme and go

mine. Under the sea.

Under the sea?

More like under the whelming.

Hey, it may be overused, but it's my first dance, and I want to be surrounded

sea creatures when I bust out the stanky leg.

Stanky leg? That's like 10 years old. I am doing the stanky leg.

Well, I've been pitching beyond the stars since I joined the planning

and this year, I'm in charge, so we're doing it my way. But you said I was the

idea guy.

Yeah, the guy who's going to support my ideas.

When you're in charge, you can have all the plastic lobsters you want.

No, that's the thing. I would use real lobster.

Oh, Milo.

Sorry, I am pretty stealthy. My mom says I'm the prince of a young deer.

Anyways, I just wanted to go over a couple of details before the dance.

Oh, sure. The details are I don't dance, I'm not going to talk much, and I will

not enjoy it.

This is serious stuff, Amy. For starters, our outfits need to be color

-coordinated, so it's up to you to find something peach.

Oh, and I'll wear whatever I want. Sorry, I forgot to add that detail.

I also signed us up for foxtrot lessons.

I know it's a little old school, but we're bringing it back, baby.

No, we're not. No, we're not.

Finally... I made you a list of flowers I'm allergic to, so you know what to

avoid when buying my boutonniere. I'm not buying you a boutonniere. You're not

buying me a boutonniere.

Look, Milo, I'm only doing this because you're my friend. Don't push it.

Sorry. I'm just excited to be going with someone other than my mom.

You've got big shoes to fill.

Literally. She wears a size 13.

Who do you think you are?

Well, I just agreed to go to a school dance, so I don't really know anymore.

gonna pay for what you did yeah i've done a lot of bad stuff you're gonna

to be more specific you

messed with the wrong girl amy madden and i will get my revenge i know you

me to be scared but i'm genuinely excited to see where this is going who

the name's daphne oh Right, you're Tennyson's niece. Yeah, Colby said you

innocent, but you're really a devious prankster intent on ruining the lives of

people who have slighted you. That's remarkably accurate.

And that's my man you're taking to the dance.

Man? No, I'm not taking a man. I'm taking Milo.

Milo is my man.

Well, does he know that? And can we please stop calling him a man?

We're not officially a couple yet, but it's only a matter of time.

Yesterday when I yelled, get out of my way!

He did.

Well, if that's not love, I don't know what is.

Not that I care, but why haven't you talked to him yet? I've been leaving

intimidating notes in his locker, but he's clearly not getting the message.

Might have to add a few exclamations and a doll made out of my hair.

Wow, you are just a whole bundle of red flags.

Well, I think Jake knows his place now.

Mostly because I demoted him from idea guy to keep your ideas to yourself guy.

What's going on here?

This little gumdrop's coming at me saying she wants to take my man to the

Oh, great, now you've got me doing it.

Well, you must be happy.

Guess you had a going.

You're right.

Hold, please.

This is perfect.

It definitely takes Milo to the dance and I don't have to.

Yeah, I just said that.

Well, good idea, Hartley.

I don't say that often, so savor this moment.

Look, Daphne, if you are that into Milo, then I am willing to step aside so you

can ask him to the dance.

Yeah, right.

Like, you just back out of going with a stud muffin like him.

Trust me, he's one muffin I am not afraid to return to the bakery.

Okay, but I can't just ask him.

That doesn't fit in with the long game I've been playing.

Okay, well, since I'm the one who clearly got in the middle of whatever...

weird little thing you two have going on.

I'll talk to Milo for you.

Really?

Thanks. You know, you're a lot nicer than everyone says you are.

Well, keep that to yourself or we're going to have a problem.

All right. Ready for your kinetic manipulation lesson?

I figured we'd use Jake's stuff in case you break anything.

No, please. I'm not going to break anything.

Oh, okay. Then we'll use your stuff.

Jake's is good.

Let's give it a try.

Move this trophy to the table where Mom is.

Easy.

Okay.

That's what we in the Chosen One business call a swing and a miss.

Let's try something heavier.

Oh, wait. I'm just going to move over here for no particular reason.

weird movement.

What weird movement?

This one.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm just thinking of the mass of the object, the trajectory to the target,

whether or not I'm making a cool face.

Why isn't it working?

Because you're overthinking it.

This happens with athletes all the time. They get so in their heads about

analyzing their form, they overcompensate. Well, I do have the body

professional athlete, so I can see why you would equate me to one.

Just... Think of the power as an extension of your hand.

All you gotta do is lift and move.

Okay, I got this.

Game console, corner of the room. That's right. I'm calling my shot.

Lift and move.

You know what?

This is all a waste of time.

I don't need kinetic manipulation.

I'm so smart, you all thought that was my superpower.

Did we, though?

Dad, it's okay. You'll figure it out. No, I won't. You should just take the

power back.

No way. I'm not taking the power back. It's not working. Just take it back.

Oh, you couldn't have gone too far. Come on, fist bump me.

it wasn't a total failure.

You managed to break all of Jake's possessions.

I hate Milo.

What is that?

A little something I'm trying out for the dance.

You likey? No. No likey.

Is that cat hair? Of course not. I wouldn't glue cat hair to my face.

It's dog hair.

I just want to look like a cool dude at the dance.

Well, I have a better way for you to look like a cool dude.

By taking another girl.

Another girl?

Yeah, there's someone who really wants to go with you.

Oh, I know what's going on, Amy.

You don't want to go to the dance with me.

No one ever does.

No, Michael, that's not what's... I thought we were friends, but I guess

just like everyone else.

Better tell my mom to put on her very large dancing shoes.

No, Milo, wait.

Melissa talked him out of that goatee.

is what I would have said if any of this made any sense.

My plan to demote Jake backfired. He's been decorating for under the sea

of beyond the stars.

So I've been replacing his theme with mine.

Right. That explains the shark piloting the space shuttle.

Have you seen Milo? Yeah.

He's over there dancing with that woman who keeps showing everyone his baby

pictures.

What happened to him going with Daphne?

That plan also backfired. Milo thought I was trying to ditch him. I feel

horrible, so I came here to make things right.

Wait, you feel guilt?

Amy, this is so exciting.

Yeah, well, while you're over here getting excited, Jake's turning your

astronaut helmet into a fishbowl.

Jake, drop the guppies! You keep your meteors off my coral reef.

Oh, look who's here.

Boy, you're too late. I'm already taken.

Right, Mommy?

Milo, can I talk to you for a minute?

I suppose.

Linda, a little space, please.

Look, Milo, I wasn't trying to get out of going to the dance with you.

You're my friend, so let's just forget what happened and have some fun.

I'll go to near.

Yeah. Your allergy list was pretty extensive, though. I just want the

Good thing I grew out of my plastic allergy.

Don't move. I'll go get your corsage back from my mom.

The only thing worse than bringing your mom is breaking up with her.

You!

I thought you'd give flowers to my boot day.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we please go back to calling him your

man?

You said you were...

Milo up with me.

Well, Daphne, look, I tried.

I should have known not to trust you.

Now you left me with no choice but to take care of it.

Take care of what?

Oh, you'll know it when you see it.

Jake, if that octopus isn't going to the moon, you will be.

You can't tell me what to do. Unlike my friend here, I have a spine.

You're going to have to do better than that.

What happened to the chainsaw and hockey mouse we bought you?

I wasn't trying to scare you. I'm trying to hide from Dad.

Oh, so he has the chainsaw.

No, he's been following me around the house trying to fist bump my power back.

Well, maybe you should take it. I mean, clearly he can't stop overthinking.

No way.

I'm not letting him give up.

When I first got kinetic manipulation, it took me a while to get used to it

because I was in my head about it just like he is.

That explains the time you tried to pour a glass of water but accidentally threw

Jake out the window.

No, that was on purpose.

What I'm saying is Dad is a genius, so he's in his head about everything.

We've just got to figure out a way to help him.

Mom, can you stop crunching? I need to think.

What if we don't give him a chance to think?

I'm sorry, what did you say I was crunching?

Okay, it's all set. Here goes.

Dad, help! There's a fire!

The candle fell into the plant.

Oh, how I wish we had some water to put it out.

There's a vase right next to the flames, but it's too dangerous for us to grab.

I get it. You don't want me to give the power back, so you're trying to trick me

into using it again.

Great acting.

Right, and you're a regular Scarlett Johansson.

I told you I can't figure the power out, so there's no point in me having it.

Why are you so stubborn? I'm not stubborn. Guys, the fire?

See, that was a much more convincing performance.

No, the fire.

Oh.

Well, that wasn't supposed to happen.

Wait, that's not enough.

Don't worry. There's a fire extinguisher in the kitchen.

Step back.

I

did

it. I mean, I did it.

Yes. That proves that when you're not overthinking, you can totally control

powers. That's why we did all this.

Admittedly, it did get away from us a little bit.

A lot a bit.

Thanks, guys.

You know, for a second there, not being able to control my power made me feel

like I was the least intelligent one in the family.

But now I know that can't be true because you two almost burned the house

Jake, I hate to admit this, but I've been getting a ton of compliments.

The accident...

It's okay if you don't want to dance, but I gotta let the Milo loose.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

Sorry, I just... I feel kind of bad for Daphne.

She really wanted to come to the dance with you.

Wait.

Daphne wanted to be my date?

She's the smartest, most beautiful girl in school.

She'd make a way better date than you.

Says the guy who needs a leash for his goatee.

Look, if you like her so much, why didn't you just ask her in the first

I was too nervous. She's way out of my league.

At least with you, I can be myself.

You can be yourself with her. She obviously likes you. She was just as

to ask you to the dance.

Really? Yeah.

You two have a lot in common. You're both terrible at social interactions.

Oh, I am too. But for me, it's a point of pride.

Why don't you go ask her to dance?

No way. I wouldn't even be able to get the words out.

Maybe it's time to face your fears.

Hey, Daphne, am I the one to ask you something? No, stop. What are you doing?

Hello. Hello.

Hello.

Okay, yeah, time for some vocal manipulation.

Want to dance with me?

Sure. Why not?

Really? Great.

I better break the bad news to Amy. It's a lot harder when it's not family.

I did it. She was standing there, and somehow the words just came out. Did

Well... Good for you.

My outer Milo might be a little nervous, but my inner Milo is a total stud.

How are you at the Foxtrot?

Almost as good as I am at the tango.

Be still, my beating heart.

Okay, you two are clearly soulmates.

Did you have anything to do with this?

No, saw Milo.

Good. Then I'm glad I took care of it.

To care what?

What is it that you keep talking about?

Not it.

And to think, I almost didn't come to this.

Why does it smell like smoke in here?

Ah, redecorating. I always thought this space could use more char.

You had a little difficulty training your father to use his kinetic

manipulation, but...

We're all better now.

Turns out nothing focuses a student like a good old -fashioned house fire.

Yeah, I learned that years ago.

The important thing is now I've fully mastered my power.

Observe as I grab a bottle of water from the kitchen.

Okay,

so I'm a work in progress.