Original subtitles

Morning, ladies.

Milo, why are you measuring my locker? If you're wondering if you can fit in

there, I can help you with that.

Since we're friends now, I figured you wouldn't mind sharing space.

Well, but you already have a locker. Why do you need mine?

For my overflow.

Well, that is a lot of toys.

Bite your tongue. These are vintage collectibles.

So, old toys.

Talk like that will get you thrown out of the collector con down at the Valley

View Motel conference room.

Anyway, my menagerie is growing, so I need some more space.

What do you think?

Friend?

Fine, but fair warning, I'm not responsible for any of the heinous

little dolls are going to see in there.

Wait, is that a darling action figure?

Cool.

Let's see if this version can fly, too.

Baby girl.

What did that weird woman do to your beautiful plastic body?

Oh, you're welcome, Milo.

Oh, okay, I guess you're welcome, too.

Okay, seriously?

You know what?

None of you are welcome. I welcome no one.

See, this is why I just slammed the door in people's faces.

I hope being a good person thing is getting really old. I try to be polite,

no one even notices.

What's the point of being nice if no one is nice back?

Jake, you shouldn't be nice because you expect something in return.

You should do it because you want to.

Okay, I will never understand your logic.

Being nice is making me look weak. Everyone treats me like a doormat.

See? Now that I understand.

In Centropolis, people knew chaos had super strength.

Not only did they fear me, they respected me.

Here I'm just the guy that everyone knocks into.

See?

Well, if it makes you feel any better, it's fun to watch.

You know what?

I'm done being the joke around here.

I might not be able to use my super strength, but I'm going to find a way to

people to respect me.

Well, what about after -school activities?

Maybe you can find one you're good at.

Let's see.

There's community theater, candle making, a stand -up comedy class.

Please become a ventriloquist. I need that in my life.

Look, there's a karate class this afternoon. I can use my villain fighting

skills to show I'm tough without using my super strength. People will finally

respect me.

You know what? I'll join, too.

Aw. To support me?

No, to throw people on the floor without consequence.

Okay, is it just me, or do I look crazy good in this?

It's just you.

Just don't forget to put on a belt.

And just like that, I'm a black belt.

Karate's super easy.

Yeah, this place is going to be a piece of cake.

Wow, that's a lot of confidence for a dude with one little chest hair sticking

out of his gi.

Watch this.

Hey, nice kick.

Did your grandma teach you that?

Don't get too cocky, kid. You haven't met the best student in class yet.

Well, I don't know who that is, but he's no match for me. Bring him on.

And in this corner, weighing 87 pounds, it's me.

Milo? The one and only. Now say hello to my two friends, Pain and Agony.

Are you sure this isn't the comedy class?

Something that starts with a T.

Hartley, for the last time, we're not playing this silly game with you. It's a

table, right?

You tell me or I will burn this house to the ground.

Sorry. I get a bit competitive.

I can't wait for tomorrow.

Oh, uh, happy birthday, Kobe.

Tomorrow's not my birthday.

You say that every time. One of these days, it'll actually be your birthday,

boy, oh boy, won't you feel silly.

Tomorrow is when the newest limited edition Sky Gordon sneakers drop online.

Good luck.

I've been online for the last five drops and never get any.

You're into Sky Gordons, too? Yeah, but they always sell out instantly.

Well, luckily, I can finish checking out really fast and get us both a pair with

my super speed.

Peep this.

I just left 68 nasty online reviews for restaurants I've never even been to.

Colby, with speeds like that, we'll definitely beat out those bots.

Sorry, what are bots?

Computer programs people make to beat everyone else out so they can hoard all

the sneakers for themselves.

The annoying part is, they don't even want the sneakers. They just know

limited, so they resell them at ten times the price.

The worst is Sneaker Queen 252. She wins all the drops and then brags about it

in her post.

What's up, losers?

You lose again?

Must feel bad to lose, you loser.

Not very creative, but extremely hurtful.

Sounds like a lot of work just to get faces.

Who has time for that?

Oh, moms just don't get the clout of being dripped out in new grails.

Oh, Eva's such a mom.

I'm all about the grail drip.

So, want me to snag you a pair with my super speed, too?

Well... Technically, that'd be cheating. But I do really want those shoes. But I

don't want to break any rule.

But they would look really cute on me. But I don't want to go to shoe jail

and... Get back to me when you're done arguing with yourself.

Okay, I want the shoes.

Eva, I could make a way better bot.

It'll get us into the drop early and we could score tons of sneakers.

And then we could resell them and make a fortune.

That sounds really complicated.

Well, for a computer novice like you, but you're rocking with a super genius.

Just this morning, I created the world's smallest cell phone while I made

breakfast.

I think I ate my phone.

Amy, I didn't know you were interested in martial arts.

Oh, yeah.

I love violence in all its forms.

So you're the toughest guy here, huh?

Wow. Everyone else must be really bad.

Slow down, Sparky.

I've been taking karate since I was a little kid. I have a second -degree

belt. Wow. Not what I was expecting from the kid who brought a stuffed animal as

his date to the winter dance.

I just hope you don't get matched up with me, little man. I wouldn't want to

hurt you.

You hurt me? Ha!

Impossible.

I'm sorry, Milo. I think you're underestimating how strong I am. You may

stronger than me, but karate isn't about strength. It's about using your

opponent's momentum against them.

Why don't you spar with me and I'll prove it? Fine.

Just don't get mad if I... Yeah!

Ugh! Hurt you?

Booyah! You're in my dojo now, punk!

Okay, champ. Settle down. Sorry, sensei. This tight headband brings out the

beast. It also makes me a little dizzy.

You feeling respected yet?

Hope I didn't hurt you too much, Jake.

I can't believe it.

He kicked my butt.

Milo kicked my butt.

Milo.

You'd think it would get less funny the more times you say it, but it doesn't.

The whole point of taking karate was to get my respect back, but Milo just made

me look lamer than ever.

I know. I can't wait till next class.

There's no way I'm letting him humiliate me again.

Today I didn't use my full strength, but next time when I do, I'll be taking

down the best kid in class.

Think of how great I'll look then.

You can't use your super strength on Milo. The kid weighs like five pounds.

You'll crush him. You remember that time we were playing catch and you used

Colby as the ball? You threw him so hard he broke a window.

I didn't throw him that hard. The window was three miles away.

Wait, what if I don't have to use my super strength?

Milo said the key is momentum.

I'll just use his momentum against him so that anything that happens is his own

doing, not mine.

So either your plan worked and you beat Milo or he humiliates you again.

Well, I'm hoping for the latter, but I'm on board either way.

High five.

Look at that.

Momentum does work.

I can't believe we didn't score one pair of the Sky Gordons. I mean, even with

my super speed, we didn't stand a chance against those bots.

Look, kids, I know how badly you wanted those shoes.

And I got them.

The Sky Gordon? In my size?

You shouldn't have.

I didn't.

I'm reselling them.

Daddy's gonna be rich.

You heard us talking about the bots, and you built your own, didn't you?

For shame, Mr. Madden. For shame.

Say hello to the recalibrated algorithm logging patterns hastily, Superbot, or

as I like to call him, Ralph.

You named your bot Ralph?

Superbot.

I actually started with Ralph and worked backwards from there.

So, just like Sneaker Queen 252, you used your bot to cheat us out of

so you could load up and sell them for profit? For shame, Mr. Madison. For

shame, yeah, I get it.

Looks like my new hot tub was just delivered.

You've already made enough to buy a hot tub?

And to take a vacation to Tahiti. I even chartered a PJ.

That's what we rich people call private jet.

There's no way you could have made that much of a profit so fast.

Technically, that's true. But I've got the goods, and we all know they'll sell

quickly. So I've been maxing out the CCs. That's what we rich people call

cards.

You're not rich.

I'm no money.

Mom, Dad built a super bot to nab all the Sky Gordons, and he won't even give

a pair.

Well, since I don't understand the sneaker game or computers, I guess I'll

stay out of it.

You also don't seem to understand air quotes.

This isn't fair.

Watch your back, Dad. We will get our revenge.

Come on, Harley.

Good luck beating my bot.

Oh, great. Now you got me doing it.

I hear you've been making eyes at my lady.

Let's see you try that without a head.

Ha ha, classic Milo.

Starting to understand why our school has guidance counselors.

What's up, brah?

I know yesterday we left things on a pretty even footing. No, it was more

flipped you, everyone laughed, and then a teen rolled down your cheek.

That was eyeball sweat.

But now?

I'm ready to take you down.

Bring it.

Hey, we don't have many black belt students here, so I guess I'll have to

your sparring partner.

Sure, why not? I never turned down an invitation to hurt someone.

You are

really good.

Where'd you say you trained?

Oh, you know, the, uh, streets.

Cool. Hey, can you do a 720 tornado kick?

No, but I can do this.

I win.

Oh, you're just begging for some pain.

Karate chop!

I'd laugh, but I don't want to stifle my masculine persona.

What do you know? It worked.

Eh, you got lucky.

If you weren't begging for pain before, you will be now.

You don't even know karate.

How is this even possible?

Brightside, at least he's still moving.

You said you weren't going to use your super strength. He caught me off guard.

It was just my reflexes.

Milo, are you hurt?

Physically? No.

Mentally and emotionally?

I'm a total mess.

Apologize to him.

Whoa.

Give him some room there, champ.

Sorry, I was just... Wait, did you just call me champ?

I mean, I did just beat the best student in here, so I guess I should be champ.

What? No, I'm the champ.

Who wants to see me break a stack of five boards?

I bet you can break ten.

What? Who said that? I mean, I don't know if I can, but I'll try.

Wow,

he's really strong.

Who, me? I don't know who keeps saying that, but stop with the compliments.

Unless those broken boards are going to spell out, I'm sorry, this is a terrible

apology. Why should I apologize? You use your powers for your own benefit all

the time.

This is different. It's Milo. And I can't believe I'm about to say this, but

once I got to know him, he kind of became like a brother to me.

Except even better, because he's not you.

Congrats, Jake. You dethrone the king of karate.

This will be my last day at the dojo.

What? No, Milo. Get a hold of yourself, woman.

My legend will live on, but my spirit has been torn asunder, like the boards

Jake just splintered.

Jake, say something.

Will you take care now?

Seriously. Milo, you can't give up.

Sorry, but the damage has been done.

Farewell, friends.

I can't believe you.

You know, I'm all about gaining respect, but did you really have to hurt Milo to

get it?

I wasn't trying to hurt him.

But hey, at least people finally respect me, right?

Yeah.

Sorry, but I'm not about to give that up.

Well, then I guess I'll just have to make you give it up.

Okay,

Ralph, what new sneakers did you score for me today?

What?

You didn't win anything?

You two, what did you do to Ralph?

You mean your stupid bot?

Superbot!

I know you wanted revenge.

What did you do?

Nothing. Wink.

Did you just say wink and not wink?

Nope. Wink.

There, you did it again.

Okay, fine. I can't wink. But we didn't do anything.

Wink.

I can't take this anymore.

Dad, we put mustard in your shampoo.

That was your revenge.

That makes sense. My morning shower was particularly bold and spicy.

You have been hacked by Sneaker Queen 252?

Who is this evil genius?

No one's smarter than me.

Except me.

Mom? Yes, it is I, the Sneaker Queen.

And your royal highness has been in the sneaker game for ages.

But why?

Well, back when I couldn't keep a job, I realized I needed an easy way to make

money, so I looked online and discovered NicoBot.

Can't believe I was outsmarted by the woman who still uses a landline.

It turns out if you electrically charge a computer, you can make your bot run

faster than anyone else's.

Until your father came along, and I had to take him out.

Yeah?

Well, too bad for you. I already have plenty of product.

That's right.

I may have spent a lot of money buying these, but I'm going to make a huge

profit. Um, Vic, darling, did you invent these?

Because I don't think they're Skye Gordon's.

She's right.

The book that says Skye Borden was a bee. You weren't even on the right

Oh, this is delightful.

It's impossible.

Oh, no, I was off by one letter.

These are all fake.

Well, are they still worth anything?

Oh, yeah, a hearty laugh at your expense.

Eva, I maxed out the credit cards.

Well, I guess you'll just have to figure out a way to pay them off.

That means I'll have to get a second job.

Wait, Mom, did you cop any of the actual sneakers?

Of course, I'm the sneaker queen.

Well, do you have any nurses?

In fact, I have a pair for each of you.

For the low, low price of $500 each.

Milo!

Crazy seeing you here.

Not that crazy since you tricked me into coming.

What?

Ah, spare me the lies.

I should have known the dojo wasn't turned into a museum about my life, as

through the art of mine.

I just so wanted it to be true.

Wait.

I brought you here because I have a plan to get your credit back.

You'd turn on your own brother for me?

I'd turn on my brother for a jack of pancakes.

Let's do this.

They call me Jake the Rake because I'm always raking up the competition.

Yeah, we gotta put an end to this quick.

All right, champ.

We're here to take you down.

You really want to challenge me again?

The janitor's still sweeping up the dust from our last challenge.

No, actually, Milo's gonna sit this one out.

This challenge is all you and me.

Why?

Because you used your super strength to gain an unfair advantage, and you hurt

Milo, who was my...

You know, you didn't have to whisper the friend part.

It just feels weird coming out of my mouth.

Anyway, I'm here to take back what's his, so... Fine.

You want a piece of the champ? Let's go.

Oh. Wait, we're actually doing this?

I did not think you were going to call my bluff.

You don't have to do this.

Amy, I appreciate you for standing up for me, but I have to admit it.

Jake is better at karate.

Boom! There you have it. Jake the Rake is back.

Name still pending.

The whole reason I joined karate was because everyone at school treated me

a nobody.

I just wanted some respect.

Wait, really?

Yeah, but you wouldn't understand, because you're super cool.

You think I'm super cool?

Yeah, the super was too much, but you are cool.

I had no idea Milo took karate for the same reason I did.

I feel so bad. I totally stole his thunder just so I could feel better.

I know.

I love it when you marinate in your own shame.

Milo, wait.

My skills were total luck.

But when it comes to karate, you're the real dojo champion.

Go ahead and flip me so you can regain your status as Dojo Master.

Hold up.

You think I'm that pathetic that you have to let me win? No, I was just

to... Works for me.

Works for me, too.

Hey, not to get all mushy, but I'm proud of you for what you did for Milo today.

Thanks.

It takes... A lot of courage to let yourself be embarrassed that badly by a

young, much smaller boy.

Wow, one and a half seconds of kindness. That's a new record.

I was thinking, and I don't need to be karate champ to get respect.

As long as I respect myself, that's all that matters, right?

Sure,

we can go with that.

You know, I'm proud of you, too.

When we first got to Valley View, I never thought you'd fit in, much less

friend.

But after seeing how you fit up for Milo today, it's pretty clear that you made

two.

Yeah. Wait, who's the other one?

Oh, right, Hartley.

Dad, where are you going this late?

I had to take a second job teaching night school.

I'm in so much debt.

Wait. How did we get in so much debt?

Oh, not we.

No, I got loads of cash.

Just not going to waste it on bailing him out.