Original subtitles

Wait! Wait! Let's comb her a little, right?

What figure do we do if we don't comb her?

We've already combed her with the hairdryer! More, is not possible!

What hairdryer! Look how messy! Look!

Look, here below is all disheveled. Come on, sweetie.

Exaggerated!

Hold her, I'll get the purse.

Walk. Walk, lazy one!

Please! - Hi, Laura! - Hello.

Our little guy is locked up, right?

Yes, sure!

Very well.

Gigliola dear, you're so beautiful today! This is Nicola and this is Lamberto.

Very pleased.

Pleased to meet you.

And this is Camilla...

It's a pleasure, Camillina...

Please, do come in.

We are safe about the young man, aren't we? - He's locked up!

After you.

Let's go in the living room.

Thank you. But, is it really sure that your...?

Sure! He's locked up!

Very good. You see, Camilla..

is very, very sensitive. An almost neurotic sensitivity.

She is like that!

First she has to get to know things, people, even furniture. And then,..

little by little, she familiarizes.

And yours, what's his name?.

Lutero.

Please, make yourselves comfortable.

With pleasure.

Sit down.

Good! Come on, honey! Look at them! These people are your friends.

Your new friends!

I'm going to get a whiskey.

Indeed, they soon will be your new relatives.

Your future in-laws!

And we already love you, Camillina.

Now she's quiet. We can put her down on the floor. But, be a good girl!

Come here, pretty. Come.

Lamberto, did you see those sweet eyes? - Sure!

But, isn't she a bit chubby?

No. She's like that only when...when she has her periods.

She is a bit.. - Want some whiskey, Nicola?

thanks... a little bloated, that's it.

When we thought of marrying her, was still alive, then, my poor wife..

Giuditta.

So, do you want this whiskey?

But...Thank you. Excuse me.

Please do not interrupt me. I'm talking about things...Excuse me.

I was saying, she didn't think of preparing her psychologically.

She's already made friends, you know!

Did you see?

In short, the poor Camilluccia had to face a beast,..

coarse, vulgar. A rural type, I daresay.

And...she experienced what is commonly called a real shock.

Well, you are not going to believe this. Nothing! I say, nothing!

No effusion! Quite the contrary!

Lamberto, your sherry.

One here, another there. And that's it!

And I, who knew very well the sensitivity of my Camilluccia...

Where are you going? What are you doing? What are you doing? Camilla!

I had almost guessed. Camilluccia, come on!

How cute!

I'm surprised at you!

She never does that at home, never! - Never mind, it doesn't matter. Cute!

She has her fixed hours, her assigned places...everything!

Don't you think that it is high time to let Mr. Luther enter?

What do you think, Gigliola?

Well, for me...

I think that now we can rest assured.

Indeed, perhaps we could...But why do you keep going back and forth?

What do you think?

What are you, quicksilver? Sure, dear! If she is quiet...

We are ready.

Although, she's still a female... What are you doing?

There she goes.

There she goes! Come here! Close! Close!

Come here, Camillona! She's terrible! Terrible! - See?

As if she understood who's about to arrive!

It is true that females are always females.

Look, what eyes of a coquette.

And you say that she doesn't have any experience.

It's in their blood, right? Say it!

Careful! You're hurting me!

Well, here is our little tomboy!

Come, let's introduce ourselves!

What! Kissing already! - Look, she makes you a compliment!

You like Camillina, right?

Now let's try and put them down.

Let's see if they strike up, these two little beautiful dogs.

Camilla!? Come. Come, my little one. Come on. Come, Lutero. Lutero!

Lutero, don't do that, you scare her!

Come on, stop it Lutero! What are you doing?

Bossy!

So, when will the wedding be?

Pardon me?

Because, you see, we cannot restrain him any more..

it's quite impossible.

Well, now she's swollen enough... But I hope that in a fortnight ...

Excuse me a moment.

How's everything?

They are playing. Look! - How cute!

What are you doing? Lutero, you must be gentle with Camillina.

Anyway, if you want, we can talk about it.

Moreover, I think it's only right.

I know everything by heart, so I think we can do just on our word.

Please! God forbid, lawyer!

Good. The father is a German champion, a Brandenburg.

The mother is a native of Switzerland, German Switzerland.

The documents too, are Swiss.

We went to collect them, my wife and I, in Lugano.

We have French documents.

Gigliola, please, will you bring me Lutero's papers?

There's no need...Don't bother! I can see, though, that he attacks.

What are you doing?

You know you have come here only to play games, make friends..

and that it isn't time yet to...

Come on, leave those panties alone, you bossy! Play, come.

Play. Play with him...

I told you to play. I'm responsible for you too, you know?, since you're alone!

Why did I get into this mess?

They're not all like you, you know?

With your Camilla! You wouldn't leave her..

for all the gold in the world!

All right. All right. Rather, pay attention to what they do.

And for the documents, not a trace! They are not in Rome.

Where that damn woman put them, nobody knows!

Everything, we've found everything!

The marriage certificate, the death certificate of my poor wife...

But the pedigree of Camilla, nothing!

Look well, and you'll find it.

Sure! And what if I don't?

We'll make another one.

Make another pedigree?

A Swiss pedigree? I mean, are you joking?

Don't you know that without pedigree, we can forget about the wedding?

Don't you know? - Come on!

So, watch that they don't do what they must not do now.

What do you want them to do, with those ridiculous panties?

What do you mean ridiculous? It is the veterinarian, who prescribed them.

My vet, who is one of the best.

Ugh! What a bore!

How? How will I be able to find it, in the midst of this..

of this mess?

What are you doing? What are you doing here?

You're neurotic, she's hysterical! Who knows what kind of children will be born!

Not a chance!

Here it is! In the album of Pope John!

I could have looked for it 100 years, before finding it! 100 years!

Where? Where do you take me? What's up? What have you seen?

Get out! Out!

What are you doing? And you, don't you see that dog? Pay attention!

Go away! Go away!

If I fail to look out the window, it's my ruin..

two yards of dog! Shame!

And you, Laura, even want me to marry you!

If I can't even give you a small task!

I can't understand animals.

You're right, sweetheart, but that's how I am.

Now you bark, eh?... Fine head of family, you are!

Should have reacted before, not now!

You do like all cuckolds, who react late!

Lamberto Ferlazzo, real-estate agent.

Lawyer Nicola Caraviglio.

For what deed, excuse me?

Marriage.

Papers, please.

Please...

Camilla De Pompadour. Daughter of Lieutenant and Mimi Pinson.

Magnificent!

Superb pedigree! It's really a pleasure. Congratulations!

And the wedding, when?

Tomorrow or the day after. This will be decided by professor Coribaldo.

Wonderful! An illustrious veterinarian!

You did well to get into his hands.

Even Soraya went to him.

And before, also Liz Taylor and Robert Burton were his clients.

Oh, great deal of money, big money, but aristocracy, if I may say,..

little, very little.

Well, poor animals! A signature, please.

The pen.

Three thousand lire for registration, and as for me, what you deem fit.

Come in, please.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Look, how beautiful! - White horse, my luck!

It is a sorrel, that!

How are you, Camilla? - Horsy!

You and I already met yesterday. A little excited, right?

Well, I mean, you know...

How he moves! He's nervous!

Let him spin! And, in ten minutes, give him the syrup!

It's the horse of an old English gentleman. So, this is the husband, eh?

Yes, it's him. - Lets see, let's see. What's his name?

Lutero. - Nice meeting you. Come, come with me without fear.

Beautiful specimen! Quiet, Lutero, eh? I've got to give a look!

We can all see that you're a handsome young man!

Don't look! Don't look!

Come with me. Let's look at this horsy.

See the beautiful horsy? See?

One never examines enough!

Please, doctor, examine!

Anyway, we had him examined by our family doctor,..

professor Pizzi Lombardo.

Ah, yes! A young man who will make a career. Freeze!

Quiet, Lutero! Quiet! Don't forget that I'm stronger than you!

Joking, joking, and then instead... Let's hope well!

"Let's hope well", what? You make me laugh, you know?

Okay. Then laugh to yourself.

You're right to be satisfied, madam. He's really a beautiful specimen.

Glands well developed, strong, very healthy. An excellent choice!

Please.

Nurse!

If you knew the fear! Just like they did it to me!

Just a way of saying!...

Please.

Article 1: "Before use for reproduction, of a stallion..

or a female, and so forth."

Article 2: "For dogs born after January 1, 1963, etc."

Article 3: "Once performed such checks, the owner, and so forth."

You are already aware. Would you sign, please?

Yes, professor. Honey, will you pass me the document?

Immediately, professor...

Laura, at least the dog, one moment only.

Hold Lutero, and be careful.

Lutero...good...

Done!

Thank you. Now I'll sign.

Hold her well. Hold her well, by God. Give her to me, and that's it.

Lutero, Camilla, your time has come. Please!

Please, the newlyweds.

What a wonder! It is all tufted!

Why don't we too make a bed as large as a room?

Do you deem this the time to joke?

Come on, Lutero, you great rebel!

Now we'll see if you are worthy of your name. Go! Camilla!

Here!

The panties, please.

Want me to help?

No! Leave it to me. I want to do it myself. Here.

Please,..

leave it to me. Go. Go, Camilla. Go. And be very happy.

She is...still a bit hesitant.

Good, Camilla! Good!

Look, look as you please!

No, no! Sorry, professor, but I prefer not to look.

I'm so excited!

Give me. I'll keep them. - What? You keep them as a souvenir?

Sure I'll keep them! Should I throw them away?

Quiet.

Don't look, don't look. Why so curious?

How are our children doing?

Great! They are great!

How is it going, professor?

Both great! He, is rude, but determined. She,...is full of abandonment!

Good!

Well, I took the liberty to...

The bottle, Laura.

Good boys!

How kind on your part!

To celebrate the event.

All well!...

I also brought some pastry. I'm so nervous..

see how my hands are shaking. Understand, a female!

We understand perfectly. - We too, are so excited!

Professor, will you tell me when the time comes?

It goes well. All goes well.

Thank you.

Look, when you tell me, I will uncork the bottle.

Uncork it now!

May I? Cheers!

Consummatum est! (All finished!)

Thank you.

It's just like with humans!

Better! Much better than humans! They follow the nature.

Well! Then it is time to say: Cheers! - Cheers!

Long live the newlyweds!

Viva! Viva! Thanks, professor.

Long live the newlyweds!

Long live the newlyweds!

Come on, the child is ready. Come on, wake up! The cigarette.

Daddy, good!

The child must sleep.

Be still, Marco. Be quiet!...Marco!

I won't take off the helmet because I do the vigil armed.

And you have to fit it right in my eye, huh?

Who turned the audio off, there, huh? Who turned it off?

We did, for the boy.

Oh yeah? And now, who tells me who scored the goal? My grandpa?

Dad, nice! My good dad!

Marco, you're crushing my stomach! And you know I have gas!

Nice Dad! Bad dad!

Get down, Marcolino, get down!

Come on to bed, come!

Mommy is there , grandma is there, and it's always me who has..

to take you to bed. - Yes, you, you!

You, you, you.

I have to do this until when you get to be a soldier, eh?

The cat!

The cat!

Yeah, the cat! Touch only a mustache, huh?

Just touch his mustache. No taking to bed.

They turn the sound off, too!

You know that these are the only ten minutes that I can sleep,..

but you, no! You must wake me up, and after, I cannot sleep.

How heavy you are!

Stop, Daddy! Put on the hat you too!

What hat? Oh yes! I put on the hat! Have you said goodnight to mom?

And to grandma?

No. Grandma!

Marcolino goes to bed!

Grandma's darling! Good! You had forgotten grandma, huh?

You know that I got mad?

You know? My child, I love you! So, so, so much!

Come, come, he is not going to go to America! Come on!

Every night is a labor, here! A labor!

My child!... Goodbye, sweetheart.

Bye, grandma.

There we are! How heavy you are! No, lie down. Come on, lie down.

You can sleep, at least. When will I ever manage to sleep, now?

Not even if I implore the Virgin!

Take off the helmet.

Take off the helmet! -No!

We'll do the vigil armed tomorrow morning. - No!

The prayers, come!

Father, Son and Holy Spirit...

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Oh, Jesus, love lit, I wish I'd never offended thee.

Oh, my dear, good Jesus...

No! I do not want to offend you more..

but just love you forever, and serve you for a lifetime. So be it.

Amen. But who taught you that?

Mom!

Kiss the medal, kiss the medal. Ouch! Damn...

Come, get into bed. And sleep!

And the helmet, you won't take it off, huh? Never! Never.

Good night. Bye.

Bravo! Very fine!

And thank God that it came! I did it finally.

It happened here, before the bathroom, what could I do?

But I feel better now, as freed from everything.

Let me wash the mouth, it's full of coal taste.

Do not claim the excuse that you're sick, because you like..

you always like to do as you please!

Think of the child, having to hear such things.

Don't worry, I've already taken care of the child, alright?

Good.

He's in the bedroom, asleep.

And then, not is my fault if it happened right here.

I didn't do it on purpose, right?!

The bathroom is occupied twenty-four hours a day,..

because you have to preserve your privacy. With the window open, though!

So others can watch from outside.

I'm talking to you, you know!

Is this how you preserve your privacy? With the windows open?

Rest assured that I am careful. And then, there was nobody.

Sure, there was nobody. Who knows then if you're careful! Who knows, who knows?

I suspect you like being seen... What are you doing?

My things.

Mother! Always washing, always washing! Like your mother. You are identical!

Leave it now! Come! We have a maid, right?

Let the maid do the maid's chores!

Why must you always do it yourself?

Then you also ruin your hands,..

for the detergents.

They're all chapped. Look at that!

Stop acting dumb, come on.

"Stop acting dumb". I'm sorry..

but if you got one nice thing, it's your hands.

You know what?

The money you spend on massage is wasted money,..

all of it. It serves no purpose.

Everything stayed the same as before. Feel, feel, what stuff.

Look at that!

Let go!

I know I've got stretch marks. You don't need to remind me all the time.

I worry enough about it myself.

Come on, no big deal! It's just a bit of cellulite.

So, who cares? I have air in the stomach, we're even.

Then, I like you as you are. Look, look.

But please, you tell me! You tell me!

Who has a golden ass like this, eh?

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty.

Eight years of marriage.

With all the concerns I have and, despite everything,..

always like the first day... Come on, we can't complain.

We have a beautiful son, big.

Your mom, well, yes, she's not annoying. And then, she even cooks well,..

so, who cares!

And you, look here, lovely, hard,..

hard as a piece of wood!

No, no, no! You're all black. Always with this coal!

Look at your mouth! At least brush your teeth, please!

Basically, you're right.

I don't know how you can stand a guy like me.

I'm coming!

Angel, my angel, come here! Come here with your hubby! Come here!

Angel!

What a nut you are! Why did you wear my shower cap?

Because I love your shower cap. - Michele, look! In bed with dirty socks!

You know I can not stand these things!

Come on! Always caring for appearances!

Appearances! - Come here, come, come here.

Wait! - I desire you, I want you.

Be good! - I desire you, I want you. I want you, I desire you.

I desire you, I want you. - Wait a minute!

But now I'm not even sleepy anymore!

Leave my place free!

All right! Go! One,...two.

You swiped my pillow again.

You know I cannot sleep without a pillow. Why?

Come on, put on your pajamas! Here!

I'm going.

But wait a minute. I like to feel the warmth here,..

there is this niche that I like.

Leave me alone. Go and get changed.

I'll leave you alone now. - Be good, come. - Just a little more. - Be quiet.

Go put on your pajamas and then come back, okay?

Fucking Judas! Why do you always touch my nose?!

You know it hurts! You've even become a sadist.

Don't be an idiot!

So we're even. Now I'm going to the bathroom.

Hey, don't even think of falling asleep, huh? Got it?

Wait for me!

Sure, I'll wait.

Michele? - Huh?

Wash yourself well, understand?

Let's wash these feet.

With cold water. Always with cold water.

Damn soap! Fucking hell! Damn it! - Michele!

Michele, really! The child then repeats everything, you know!

Always swearing! Good heavens!

Filthy, vile! Damn whoever invented it!

How it hurts, God!

I'd like to know who decided that one must wash four times daily!

Listen, don't buy more of that soap. Do me this favor. Do not buy more.

It may be very good but, what can I say? It's...it's very dangerous.

With the excuse that you can wash all with it,..

you wash your feet and then you slip in the bathtub.

Oh God, that hurt! The blow that I took! How painful!

A beastly pain!

Listen, the house for the summer. We must give a response.

I see how you worry about me.

I smash my head, and you can only think of the house, the vacation.

See if I have a mark left.

It's nothing, nothing at all. It's all over now.

Come on, let's decide about the vacation, so then to sleep.

Sleep? And who thinks of sleeping? But are you crazy?

Give me a kiss.

Give me a kiss. And don't always try to escape.

You never want to talk about these issues!

But who cares!

You seem to be afraid to let us go.

No, I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid.

Do as you wish.

After all...I'm worth nothing huh?

Are you comfortable? Will you at least leave me a pillow? I too want to sleep.

Then it's bad for you to sleep with two pillows. Gives you a double chin.

Come, do not play the victim! Everybody goes to sea with the kids,..

and then also my mother comes!

I do not play the victim. Like I said, go, go wherever you want!

So at least, for the whole summer, I won't even be able to see you.

What are you doing? Taking it a sleeping pill?

No, we have to make love, eh?

No! Then you fall asleep underneath!

What manner of speaking? You know I don't like it.

Alright, sorry. But then, you're doing it on purpose, though!

Come on, come here.

Now stop it, darling. It's late for you too. Tomorrow you have to..

get out early. - I don't care. - Let's sleep, come on.

Let's make love. Then, after, you sleep better. Arm... There.

Then, in the morning, you never want to get up.

Michele, you don't let me breathe! Please!

Ugh! - Alright! As you wish!

Don't expect I'm going to beg! This is crazy!

"You crush me, you don't crush me"...

When it takes some reasoning, "you crush me!"...

Are you or aren't you my wife?

Now she takes the sleeping pill, and begins to snore!

Instead I can not sleep anymore, now I set my mind into the...the thing..

and I cannot fall asleep.

"I'm tired", huh?

I am a woman!

But tell me when ever you feel like it, huh?

I'm not a beast, you know!

I'm a beast, huh?

It's at least three weeks that we don't touch each other!

More than a beast, I'm a saint!

Always exaggerating!

Last time we did it, was on the 19th, and then I had my things!

And you say nothing!... 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

26, 27, 28, 29. I'll say!

I don't even remember how to do it, anymore!

Alright! All right!

How sad!

Poor me!

Staying here to count, as if we were accountants.

And not that you're frigid, far from it!

Fact is that you couldn't care less.

Selfish and egocentric!

You, the home, the child, the mother,..

the summer vacation 300 kilometers away.

And I? I am the asshole who pays, who pays, who pays...!

You? You, my dear, have not understood anything yet about women!

You still think that a woman can make love ... without preparation!

Just like a cow!

Same old tirade...same!

Damn it! I forgot!

But tomorrow I'll buy it, huh?..

yeah, yeah, I'll buy it!...The violin! Sure! So, preparation with music!

Other than the violin!

But go...!

You wake up cursing, you and your pains!

At noon, you put your head in the plate...

Never a smiling face, ever! Never a kind word!

Always angry! Always!

What should I do for you? Tell me! The face of love?

The Rudolph Valentino? - Stop it! - "Come! Love me!"

What should I do? Smile, talk, eat, all together?

So I don't chew, and I go to the other world?

You'd like that, huh? It's the doctor who told me to chew.

That's why I keep my head in the plate. Because I must chew!

If not, this stomach will go in gangrene. Damn it!

The truth is, if I don't go to work, nobody will chew, here!

That's the truth! Not the... rejection. The rejection of sex.

Shit! Again the stomach ache! Because,..

over all, it is a nervous reaction.

Damn it!

Now the cramps! At one at night, the cramps!

How I can feel something for one who sleeps with the singlet,..

and never changes it?!

Moreover, with the roll-on! Other than violins!

The singlet, the roll-on!

The singlet, I wear it because it is one neat piece, which is..

on my skin, and thus it doesn't dirt, okay?

Find another excuse, come on.

Okay, if I can't sleep, no one sleeps.

Come on, wake up!

Come, let's do something!

Hey, I'm talking to you!

Do not ignore it, hiding under the sheet!

Come, get out of bed!

Hey! - All right, then! Go ahead! Do it, I'm ready!

Do it, do it! So, in cold blood?

What am I, a butcher?

But don't you know that, to make love, it takes two?

Then, with this standard, what should I do?

I go down the street, grab one of those, and, for ten thousand lire,..

I get away with it. A good professional, and I'm all set.

I can't stand you!

I was ready, but you just want to torture me! Is that love?

Come back here. Come back here. Don't go away. - I go...I go..

to sleep with the child! I go to sleep with my son!

Let's not give scandal. Shut up and sleep. Come to bed.

I do not torture you.

I simply asked you to make love.

Something normal. Between man and wife it can be done, right?

Cannot be done? Patience! Go, go, go to bed!

A big bed, just for you. So you can slue round as much as you want!

There! Happy now?

It was a matter of two minutes.

By this time, we would have done. No! The...the spites, the things. And now?

Now, who loses it's me! Because I am excited...and I don't know what to do!

Where to go?

Then it also seems that I'm asking for a handout, when it is a right.

Sleep, sleep quiet, OK?

Good night, ma'am. I'll even turn out the light, huh? Alright?

And now, I, where am I going?

Excuse me, huh? Come here, come here.

Tell me, tell me.

Tell me.

Go to sleep, huh? Go to bed. Very good. Good night!

Spy!...and she even swipes on the shopping money! All alike!

Not even bother to put the magazines in their place. Nothing!

I spend millions...

What "masters of painting"! They're masters of doing nothing.

What does it take?

What does it take to teach my son to put things in order?

Nothing! Nothing!

Learn! Do learn how to do these things! Learn!

Still alive!

Look at that!

What's this craze of keeping a helmet on the head, even when you sleep, huh?

So then he'll become a complete moron.

Good, good, good, good, good.

Good! Look what I have to do!

The finger in the mouth! To keep him quiet. Damn!

Then: "Do you love mom?" "Yes, I love mom".

"Do you love grandma?" "Yes, I love grandma".

Not once: "I love Dad". Dad, never! Dad doesn't count.

Dad must stick a finger in your mouth, and that's it!

Finished?

Michele!

Keep quiet!

I had to put my finger in his mouth for him to sleep!

Come on, come! Don't be silly!

I beg you, Michele, come.

What are you doing, crying? Don't be silly!

Leave me alone. - Please, come.

I'm watching the child.

But the child is asleep now!

Come. Let's go to bed. - Go and sleep you too.

Come and sleep with me. - Go and sleep you too!

Come. Please!

Let's go to bed, come!

Please don't touch me.

No, look, what am I coming to bed for?

Then, I may even annoy you. You go.

I'll give you the other pillow too.

I didn't mean to offend. What I said was for your own good, you know?

Come, come and rest!

No, no..

you see, even when I was in the other room, just now, with the boy,..

imagine, I would have banged my head against the wall,..

thinking of the two of us.

I know! I'm vulgar!

What can I do? I should change.

Not easy, you know! What would I change for?

By now, I am what I am! Look, I'll satisfy you.

There! I took off my singlet!

And then, my roll-on as well.

And so, tomorrow I will have pneumonia!

But I do it for you, you get it?

So, bare-chested, as you wish.

Hand in hand.

Laura.

This beautiful little body, that keeps me awake all night.

Two hours, you know, that I've been excited!

Yet, look. I'm here, tranquil. I'm not doing anything.

Yes, I know, you're right, sometimes I am..

I am like an animal.

But there are also times that I'm sweet. You have to admit.

Yes, yes!

For example, when...when I see you... I don't know, hanging around the house..

with the kid...your mother,..

you know?, it reminds me of Dante,..

and I want to recite a poem.

Then, why don't you?

Want me to recite?

I don't know if I remember it all well. But I know the first part.

"So gentle and so pure appears my lady"..

Are you listening?

"my lady"... Because, you see,..

the love between husband and wife, even if only physical desire,..

is something important! These are no stories!

And I,..

this physical desire, I feel it tonight like when I was..

twenty years old.

As I was saying...the physical desire... it is something that...

It came to my mind, when I was serving at La Spezia, you know?

I remember, during the war,... I was a sailor,...and one day

there was a bombardment. A bomb fell on a brothel.

Eighteen "signorine" died, and the Madam too, poor thing!

And six sailors...

All died. Luckily, that night, I had no leave,..

else I'd be dead, in the rubble.

I just finished scolding you, and you start talking about these things.

Sure, you're right. We shouldn't remember sad things. We shouldn't.

Well, you know, they're visual memories...

It is beautiful, though, to love each other.

Come, give me the pillow, please.

Yes, sorry.

You see, darling, physical love is the foundation of all, understand?

Yes.

You know that is the foundation of all in a marriage. And it is also a duty!

Think of how many families break up because...We, instead, huh?

Listen...How about if, tonight, we give a little sister to Marcolino?

Tonight?

Yes.

Maybe he doesn't want a little sister.

Why not? ... We are young. Let's make love all night long...

All night long...

Yes, night.

We make love.

Yes, but tomorrow you got to go to work.

No, I'm not going to work. Who cares about work!

Michele, don't snore.

Don't push...Come...Come here... Don't push...

Come, Barbara, let's go to dad!

What time is it?

Five to one.

We gotta go. I have an appointment at the hairdresser. - Yes, dear.

Come. - Where is Kay?

Back! Come back!

Come on, baby. Take off your skates, eh?

Want a sweet?

No.

Where do we go now?

Here, eat this candy. You either. All right.

Come, we'll come back here tomorrow.

Mama, will you take off my skates?

Now Mom takes off your shoes, eh?

What time is the babysitter coming?

I took care of everything.

Do not worry, dear.

Why, sure!

You'll see how this Saturday everything will be fine.

For me, it always goes well, my dear.

Barbara, Kay, let's go!

So, you go home with the girls and wait for me.

I don't trust this helix much. But tomorrow we'll try it, okay?

So we'll see if it flies outdoors.

Are you happy that the plane flies now?

Here it is!

Barbara, Kay, here's your snack. Milk, chocolate, and sandwiches.

You like, right?

And then, on television, today you can watch "Yogi the Bear".

Frank, bring Kay. Barbara, are you coming?

Yes?

Hurry up, the babysitter will come at 6!

Okay, okay. Coming.

Bye!

Come here. Come with your daddy.

Eat first, and then you watch TV. Come, sit here. That's it.

Frank, but what are you doing with that thing in your eye? Silly!

Come Kay, now be good, and eat your snack with Barbara.

Sorry Frank, but if you don't feel like, we can give up.

What are you saying? Of course! Isn't it Saturday today?. I never give up.

Here! Be good, huh? Eat and don't fight, okay? Good!

Mommy will turn on the television.

Just Yogi Bear!

Have you seen? It's the bear!

Have fun, but do not go out of the room. Careful.

Mom and Dad now have to get some rest, okay?

And eat all the snacks, eh?

Frank!

Will it take long?

No, just a second.

Take your time.

But, dear, it's much better with the veil.

Do you see that I am the one waiting for you, now?

Nancy, don't you think it'd be better for you without so many precautions?

The doctor said it is the same.

Unless you want another child!

Well, could you try with the pills, don't you think?

The pills? Haven't you heard Monica? She always has dizziness, nausea...

Can you leave this record on, dear?

Leave it on. If you like it, okay.

But you should like it too.

I do like it.

Frank.

It was better, wasn't it?

For me, it was great.

You, instead. Are you tranquil this time?

Of course! Haven't you noticed?

I mean, more than the other times?

I thought you noticed.

I always fear that you say it so as to reassure me.

No, dear, stay close to me. You know it does very good.

But, don't I crush you?

No. Not at all! We must prolong the contact, right?

You know what time it is? Six and a half.

We stayed in bed 15 minutes more than last Saturday.

Right?

Twenty long minutes more than last time.

That's the babysitter. I'll get it.

Nancy, I wouldn't contradict you, since we both have decided so, but,..

don't you think it would be better to make love at night?

Hello, Jessica.

Good afternoon, Mr. Begonia.

Can you leave me the phonograph tonight?

Why, sure!

Hi, Barbara. Hi, Kay. How are you?

Fine.

Barbara! Kay! Is everything all right? Yes?

Hi, daddy. - Where is my gear?

What did you watch on TV?

Nothing.

Darling,...if you speak of the night, it means that today was not positive.

No, no, why?

I said so because I thought that, at night, it could be more comfortable.

Above all, fewer bell rings.

Well, I think instead, that at night is mechanical, more routine.

In addition, at night you're always so tired!

I believe these things should be done in the most conscious way.

Sure! No, you may be right. By day it is better. More complete.

Listen, now that we're going to that meeting, please don't make me talk.

I do not like telling my intimacies in public.

But it is very important, and primarily serves us both!

You can't deny that now is much better than before.

Yes, I know. But look, in these cases I prefer not to talk...I listen.

Forgive me, Nancy, if I insist, but it's not easy. I'm still not used to it,..

believe me.

And for me, it is increasingly difficult each time, and you know it.

And you think it was easy for me? Quite the contrary!

But I'm happy now.

We had to solve our sexual problem, didn't we?

Nancy! Oh, dear! How are you?

How goes it?

Mary.

Well. Very good.

You like, huh? And I have solved my problem with the cold.

Leave! Leave! Go ahead. Go ahead.

This about the time, is a really interesting problem.

We should really talk about it.

Who wants to start?

You start, Horace! You're so good at exposing!

It's not the day or the night that matters, dear Frank.

I think that the love act can be, indeed, must be, performed..

at different times.

It should take place in places and situations that vary.

Continuously renewed. What do you think, Tony?

I repeat once again: the important thing is to save the marriage.

And, to save the marriage, it is essential that the couple's sex life..

is rich, is full of mutual and complete satisfaction.

That it not be a descending parabola, but an ever growing diagram.

Well, my dear Nancy, you asked us all whether it is better the day or night.

Well, I can only answer: personally, and for us, it is exactly the same thing.

Is that right, dear?

Yes, of course. Of course!

But, as you know, for me, between seven and nine in the morning,

has always been very difficult, since day one.

Right. Because you're half asleep.

So, Nancy and Frank, regarding your question...

Oh, no, Tony. The question is by my wife.

Yes, okay, but even if the question is by your wife,..

I guess the problem concerns a bit both of you.

My wife is right. And I think, Frank, that you do not want to collaborate.

We're here to talk. To help each other.

You know our problems very well, right?

Yes, yes. You may be right, but I...

Sit down beside me, honey.

But you know everyone's problems! We have never had secrets.

I do not have your strange modesty, Frank!

This way, you harm us too! You put me in awe.

Today, for example, we both, well...we have to tell you something.

Come on! Come on! No fear! This is the right time!

The more we free ourselves, the more we progress.

Well, we have finally found out..

why he disgusts me, when we make love.

It's because he makes the same noise of a pig!

As what, a child, I saw a farmhouse.

See that you just don't cooperate?

Sorry, Frank. What's so funny?

And just about Mary, who is so sensitive.

Yes, but...

I would like to further clarify what I said a while ago.

I have always considered Frank a totally normal man.

Absolutely.

And then, perhaps, I'm the one to blame!

There is no room for blame here, beloved Nancy, only problems to be solved.

Problems common to us all.

Anyway, we decided to have sex by daytime, and just on Saturday.

And this, because we have more time at our disposal.

Certainly, there has been some progress, but...

Sorry, dear, I asked you not to talk about certain issues and, instead,...

Be patient, Frank. Here, we should not exclude any issue.

Here we have the courage to do what so many people should try:..

to save the marriage as an institution.

As a way of life. As the ideal state of man and woman.

Helen and I, since some time,..

because of our rigorous education, we try..

to free ourselves from the idea of sexual intercourse as sin.

John and Mary, are...

are overcoming a problem of physical disgust.

Orazio and Sally, married at eighteen, very young, struggle..

to reinvigorate a boring married life, perhaps a bit exhausted.

Nancy and you..

have this problem of...dissatisfaction.

But I am happy, indeed, very happy with my marriage.

Then why are you here? For the show?

Frank, but they are friends, they just want to help us.

Excuse him, it is that the debate in public...

The Latin blood comes out. What can we do?

Come, Frank. Come with me to the kitchen to make sangria.

Come!

Please be patient. I'm trying to overcome, but it is a matter of time.

Here, with all this talking, there is nothing left to drink.

Sally, you must give me the recipe.

Yes, later I'll write it down.

I have to make some in the parish.

I do not understand this Frank.

Don't worry.

See Tony, for example, poor man!

You certainly remember all the trouble that cost him, right?

During the first 2 years of marriage, he made love without even..

touching his wife with his hands.

The can opener is there. You do it, thank you.

Yes, but see, I've always used my hands.

I've never had any inhibitions!

The truth is that I don't trust much this system.

That's your trouble, in my opinion, lack of confidence.

Instead you have it, right?

And, have you reached any conclusions?

Of course! It's very simple, you know?

For three years we lived together as friends,..

and now we are again a husband and wife.

Well, for me this whole thing to examine,..

to find, to dig,... don't know.

For example, with regard to the breast, you should know that it got worn-out..

a bit after my third pregnancy.

Orazio, instead, liked it so much, before!

Well, I am quite sure that this was one of the reasons..

that cooled our sexual relationships.

But without these meetings, he would have never understood!

So instead, we talked, and even this was overcome, without too much difficulty.

Believe me.

And now he likes it again?

No... Take the bowl. It's there, in that sideboard.

Sure.

No. But now, I always let myself be seen from behind.

You know, I have a high fanny, long legs...

Careful, Frank!

It's lead!

It's heavy, yes.

Put it here.

Listen, now bring me a bottle of cognac. It's in the lounge. - Yes.

Certainly, the economic concerns do affect. True, Frank?

Yes, yes, true.

Indeed, I think that without economic problems, the marriage would be,..

better, much better.

And, when we bought the second car,..

we spent some really difficult times.

Frank could only think of debts, commitments.

Yeah, yeah. That's the truth.

Thinking of debts, had really no time to think about making love.

No, I disagree.

Well, I'll bring the brandy to make sangria.

But I don't think..

that the economy is determinant in the sexual life of couples or singles.

For example, in countries...

I have stained all the shirt. What do they talk about, in the lounge?

Nothing..

they were saying that at times, the precarious economic conditions,...

Yes? What about it?

may disturb a relationship.

No, actually, I wouldn't say that.

Think of the Indians, for instance, or the Chinese. They're very poor,..

yet we all know they have a very intense sexual life.

Moreover, it is clear from their culture.

Haven't you seen the pictures of the temple?

What pictures?

Those of the Indian temple of fertility. Come, I'll show you.

From my notes so far, it looks like..

Come...

the only positive result is John's confession.

There. Look.

Interesting. But this is huge! And look at this!

From the same collection, is a volume that deals with Roman art..

and with Chinese art, see?

I'll change the shirt and be right back. Excuse me.

The truth is that modern man is spoiling everything!

I wonder what would happen to anyone who would build churches like this.

Yes, you're right. Well, now let's make that sangria, that they're waiting.

But, you have a real library on the subject, huh?

Yes, it's the analyst who advises them.

For my breast problem I was telling you...

Look at these pictures.

Is it you?

You see, to have these pictures taken has been very useful.

Wow!

But, did you take them with the Polaroid?

Naturally. Then, Orazio is very good.

Frank, let's go back to the kitchen. The others are dying of thirst.

Come, we will continue our talk in the kitchen, while making the sangria.

Come, please.

The sugar.

But, have you ever tried to take pictures like these?

Huh? No... But it must be fun, right?

Try to do it, sometimes.

It is very erotic, you know?

That's how we started over.

Orazio no longer saw me as a woman, however after...

You know, the postures, the jokes... Put yourself so...Put yourself so...

In short, when Orazio had these photographs in hand..

especially..

especially the one this way, he jumped on me.

And he demanded that I put myself so,..

in the same pose as in the photo.

Oh yeah?

What are you doing?

To me, your breasts are beautiful!

No! They're ugly!

I like your breasts, I tell you!

Listen, the sangria...

Never mind the sangria! Come...

I have never betrayed...never...

Me neither... Come here!... Come here!

It's the first time, understand?

For me too...

But, poor Orazio...

Your wife...

Poor Nancy....

They can see us!...They can enter!

No, I'll close the door...

Paul: a world, organized according to temporal sequences,..

moved by constructive stimuli and convinced to partake of..

a historical path, immediate or religious, needed..

to reproduce up to the fundamental micro-group, the family,..

the myth and engine of the world.

Inequality as a stimulus for progress.

Paul: What will remain of the notion of marriage, in 1984?

In my opinion, none, or almost none.

Burdrys: I also believe that any concept of sexual normality..

will disappear completely, in a time of unprecedented social freedom.

Blush: Thus we will reach the ideal Utopian society.

A society without psychoanalysts,

be they Freudian, Adlerian or Jungian.

Williamson: I imagined, in "The Commentaries",..

the manufacture of artificial men and women,..

created exclusively for the wedding.

Paul: I do not think so.

We have technologies that can not be improved by automation.

Or, thanks to the machines, we shall arrive to an automation..

so complete, that we'll find everything ready, as in the Eden?

In the third millennium, we will be happy!

Mia, come here! As I turn around, you will escape.

Come here, Mia! If I don't feel you near, you know, I am as lost.

No! How, no?

But you always get away!

You're my wife, and must stay with me! You know that I'd like to drown you?

Seriously! Drown my wife!

No! I don't think you would ever do it!

Oh, you don't believe it?

But I certainly do it. Watch!

But not to drown you. I do it for fun, to see how long you resist under water.

Six, seven, eight.

I don't want to die, Igor, no!

9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14...

"Institute for the Protection of the family. January 1986. Sample 176329."

I send you under! I send you under! Look! And now I'll eat you, huh?

Little by little, I'll eat you whole.

Do you really want to drown me? I do not want to die, Igor!

I don't want to die under water!

No way! Darling, my darling.

How could I ever kill you? How could I kill my dear little wife?

Moray! No, not this way, Mia! Do not be violent!

I don't want to make love in the water. You know I could even die.

Love! My love! Don't be like this!

The other day I felt bad, you remember, right? You saw!... No!

Cad! So you really want to kill me, huh?

Want to kill your Igor! Well, take this, take, take, take!

Jumping!

Now I lay you out in the sun. So you get some tan. Are you happy?

Yes!

See what a good husband you have?

Hi!

Hi!

Bye!

See you soon! Well, now I go for a walk, huh? You stay here!

Going to see if there's some girl to have some fun with.

As you wish, dear!

Bye. - Bye.

Would you like an ice cream? Thank you.

Yes? Well, go get it yourself!

Good morning. How goes it?

Fine, and you? Where is Mia?

She's there. Always lazy! Come on, Giovanni! Don't stay stuck to your wife!

Let's take a walk.

Never wants to go. He's always on me!

He crushes me! He really crushes me!

Here's your friend. Want to go with him? No, he doesn't want to!

But, so attached to your wife, you'll get numb!

Come, come, Giovanni. Enough already, huh? Come with me!

Don't touch him, you know? He's mine! I told you he wants to stay here!

Isn't that right, sweetheart, that you don't want to go with him..

and that you prefer to stay with me?

All right. Whatever you want. Bye!

"Never come between a man and his wife".

No more ice cream! Want a little skull?

Sir, would you give me a skull, please?

Do you want the bone? Like it? Do you want it? Come on.

What happens to this child, huh? Come on, be good. Good, good.

The usual whims. - Oh yeah? - Wants an ice cream. - Well, buy him one!

Today he's already had two and, you understand, too many ice creams are bad!

If you allow me, I'll treat. Maestro, an ice cream.

What flavor do you want? Apricot, cream or peach?

The taste of his mother, CC 18.

See what a nice ice cream? All of whipped cream CC 18.

Which grows, grows, grows, and almost reaches 23.

You'll see how good it is! Take it, dear.

He and his mother...

Careful.

Alike in all. Now you no longer want it, huh?

Do you want or not , huh?

At least as a courtesy to the gentleman who bought it for you.

Oh, never mind! If he doesn't want it! - First you ask for it...

Now I'll make you eat it! Here!

Here! Eat! Eat! Eat, it's good!

Come here.

What is your name?

Mia.

Like my wife! And, where do I want to take me?

Come, I'll show you. She's jealous, jealous!

Oh no, dear! Lose your head with the first gal passing by!

But what do you think? That I'm your servant?

See that island?

I'll take you to the other side and then I'll leave you there!

And you, what do you want here? Away! Away, I told you!

Mine! - What?

Mia, come with me.

Get away!

Mia, come with me.

How, yours? This is mine! I have bought it myself! Get away!

Excuse her, she's a little girl!

Go, go, go away! And you! You'd go with any gal! Always!

But what do you think? I'll strangle you! I'll strangle you!

That woman is awful. She's very jealous. Look!

Think, she's already killed three women.

But, you want to make love to me?

No.

Then why did you make me waste all this time?

Bye! Yeah, bye.

The irresponsible!

But, whose child is this?

Excuse me, is this your child?

No. I just got married!

Why allow some people to have children, I wonder?

Allow me, Igor Savoia, geologist.

My name is Pietro Innocenzi, and this is my wife.

Enchant�.

She is very beautiful.

Yes, very beautiful.

Looking for a place to stretch her in the sun?

I would like to find a quiet place. - Good! - Very kind. - Come with me.

You really are very kind.

If I may...it's a fantastic model. A velvet skin.

I do not understand those cretins who do not want to marry!

I married when I was eighteen.

I saved all the money they gave me at home to buy me a wife.

You too are very young, though!

I would have married even before, perhaps at fifteen,..

but there was my mother, and she did not want a stranger in the house.

She died last Friday, and Saturday I went to the Family Bureau.

My best congratulations!

There, people coming! There is not one place where you can rest easy!

Who knows what they'll do now!

Furthermore, these are newcomers. I never saw them before!

Good, sweetheart, good...

There, good. Take her shirt off! - Yes, sure! Right.

Get her used to be bare-chested.

It will do her good, believe me. - No! Not possible.

See? See, the lack of experience?

I forgot the bra!

The bra? You want to take her to the beach with a bra?

But nobody uses it anymore!

You say?

Take it off! Take it off! Let the skin breathe!

That's the way! Else, it rots everything!

The membranes dry out. The air, instead, expands the lungs, tones up.

Don't worry. By now, mom is gone!

Well, nothing to say, really! There was a terrifying progress.

One like me, who has been married so many years,..

what should he do before such a perfect specimen?

Can you lend me a hand? These pants are so tight! - Gladly!

Look at this! We have already reached the Z. My wife is a B!

Eh yes! I'd already noticed, while kissing her hand.

My wife, compared to a type like this, doesn't hold anymore!

You see? I told you so! The usual dirty persons!

Like the other morning! We gotta go!

Children cannot watch a show like that!

No way!

You can not even compare!

Excuse me, could I touch her?

Just to feel her skin. - Yes, sure! Please! - Thank you.

Oh, yes! It is something else!

Another rubber, a different perfume...

Listen, you're very young. Why not lend me your wife?

No, please. Perhaps, you can buy one just like it!

Oh, no! I like this one because it's yours!

This one has a number, you know? I am a seducer...

You, then, you have before you all the time you want!

I just got married, don't start creating me problems!

I understand. Lucky you!

I should let her decide, and, should she say yes...!

Too bad! So don't want to think it over, you are determined not to concede her?

Well, be understanding. She just got out of the factory, you know?,..

and I dare not let her decide.

I won't insist. Anyway, I'm over there. If you change your mind, just call me...

No! Thanks! I don't think I need you. Thank you.

Listen, would you like to meet my wife?

Thank you. Maybe some other time.

Now I'd rather enjoy my wife.

As you wish.

Excuse me, why not let her go with your friend?

I just got married.

But there was us, here, to keep you company!

But I am a faithful man!

Wow! It would have been nice!

You should have seen that wife, this morning!

A softness! A perfume! Come on, don't get upset!

I'll give you a kiss. Affectively, you're still worth to me.

But sexually, you don't turn me on anymore.

You're a model "B"!

Wow, what a butt!

We reached model "Z", my dear! If only you saw her,..

it is a completely different thing!

A skin that's smooth, smooth, smooth, smooth, smooth...

Nothing to do! It is a completely different process!

Huh? And now why are you crying?

Come on! Mia!

Come on! So, you're still my wife, right?

I am the one who is fooled!

Each time a new model!...

No, there is nothing to do!

The fault is all of the system!

And now, what am I going to do with you?