All language subtitles for Going Dutch s02e11 General Dearest.eng

I was saving it for you. Oh.

You know, we really should have taken a
holiday like this a long time ago.

Yeah.

This is the best you've ever looked. I
gave you a little BBL.

I like my mermaids with the whale tail.

What the hell is going on here?

I said to bag the sand, not playing it
like children.

These are just the leftovers, okay? We
ran out of sandbags.

After filling up every single one, by
the way, which felt like overkill. Not

overkill, okay? There's a biblical storm
coming.

In a lifetime storm, supposedly.

Like a great man once said, one day a
rain may come and wash all the scum from

these streets.

Did you just call Travis Bickle from
Taxi Driver a great man? Travis was a

Vietnam veteran, and he knew the value
of firearms and physical fitness.

Storm's coming. Get back to work, Papa
Doc. I prefer Murmur, Doc.

I'm not about to call you Murmur.

Stop looking at me.

Hey, the NATO base in Marne has flooded
because of the storm, and I told General

Martin that she and her troops can come
here, and we will put them up. Oh, Euro

hottie slumber party.

Not a real slumber party, and I don't
care if they're hotties or...

Busted. Thank you, Conway. You got it.
What's happening? The colonel and I have

been doing a generational cultural
exchange.

I taught him busted, and he taught me
about something called Creedence

Clearwater Revival. Very good, Conway.

Yeah. The troops are on their way. I
want you guys to be aware of the fact

you're going to have to share quarters,
okay? And Sergeant Conway is in charge

of the accommodations, so she will
assign everybody.

Does General Martin have any special
requests?

I think General Martin is all set.

Okay. Sorry.

I don't know what's going on here.
Sounds like your Canadian girlfriend's

to move in with you. No.

No. That's not what I said. That's how
it starts. Come over. I got central AC.

Next thing you know, you're signing the
name for the lease.

I don't know what you're talking about.
Trust me. Sooner or later, General

Martin's going to be wearing her night
guard to bed and letting her panties dry

in the shower.

It's not going to be happening, okay? I
just hope that you're ready to give up

your side of the bed. My side of the bed
is the whole bed.

Okay? There's no two sides. It's my
side. Got it. Interesting fact.

I'm your superior officer. You're not
allowed to mock me.

You know, things have been so busy since
yesterday when we, uh... Kissed?

Kissed. That kiss was amazing. It was.
Coming out of a movie. Yeah, okay, yeah.

The best kiss of my life. Yeah, me too.
But we also thought, like, maybe you

were gonna die. Yeah, I might die,
but... So.

I guess there's only one way to find
out.

Yeah.

Wasn't quite as good.

I remembered it. Yeah.

It's me.

It's me.

Okay, you know how, like, some people
find speaking around really, like, sexy?

Yeah. Yeah, well, you know what I found
really sexy? What?

Following the rules. Okay. And I think
that's what's happening here. I

understand. Yeah.

But we want to do this. We want to do
this. Okay. We got to do this. Yeah.

Just, um... Work our way up to it.

Work our way up to it.

Come on in. Everything is normal in
here. The door is not closed for any

at all. We are good here.

How are you?

Okay, I'm not going to say it's a good
thing that there's a flood.

It's a thought and prayers to the tulip
farmers, obviously.

But it's not a bad thing that I'm going
to get more face time with General

Martin. No.

I hope she's not thinking that this is
going to be some kind of a step for the

relationship, you know, like step
forward, because I'm not really, I don't

to take a step in any.

Yeah, you've got to accept that it's a
step.

Really? Yeah.

Because our relationship is, like, so
sexy and fun. Those are the two things

we're built on, and scotch and innuendo,
four things. Those are, like, that's

our foundation.

It's just, like, drinking and messing
around, you know what I mean? Like, I

don't think even with an act of God that
that would change.

Have you ever considered that maybe God
wants you two to be together?

Okay, you know I have Catholic stuff
that's creepy for you to use that

me. Just bring him into my temporary
office.

We made it. Now get me out of these damn
clothes and pour me a scotch.

Hurry.

See?

Sexy and fun.

Okay. You know, sometimes you just
forget that you're my dad.

Who's Catholic now?

Captain, since I'm still aidless, I was
hoping you could step into the role

while I'm on base.

Yeah.

Yes, ma 'am.

Man, I am not hating the flood.

But thoughts and prayers to the tulip
farmers. I hate tulips.

Captain, I just saw a soldier in
pajamas.

I told them pajama night can never
happen.

What's next, charades and s'mores?

Snack time, everyone!

for welcoming snacks for a lovely guest.
We got chocolate marshmallows and

graham crackers, but I wasn't sure. Do
you put ranch dressing on this or not? I

can never really get when you guys like
ranch dressing on photos and when you

don't.

So I guess we proved you can put maple
syrup on anything pretty much, right?

Having a Canadian roommate isn't so bad,
is it?

Oh. Sorry, I thought we were calling it.

we can call it okay yeah let's call it
okay if i don't use this thing i gnaw

through my own jaw yeah yeah got it not
a problem i mean you got to do what you

it's saturday what do you want to do
today uh saturdays i um i have to

my hunting knives and it takes a long
time i've got to be really super focused

so i have to be kind of by myself but
what are you gonna do i was gonna watch

some human cockfighting you're okay you
what human cockfighting where

oh wow this is a fun saturday what do
you think we were gonna

do together go to ikea

any like softer one of these weapons i
just i was i was glad to believe that

this wouldn't hurt in any way and like i
guess we're just missing nap time how

did that rather soft dig fellow get into
the army oh well corporal papadakis has

many extraordinary talents and hand -on
-hand combat is not one of them

but at least he's getting his nap time
but

you think you're up if you don't hit me

Fine, 100 euros.

It's so great having real soldiers on
the base, you know what I mean? I

seen one pair of open -toed shoes. But
our guys are getting pummeled. Okay, we

got ourselves a negotiator. Thanks,
Louis Vuitton. Look, it's sick.

You have interesting friends.

Well, they have unconventional skills.

What about you?

Are you interesting?

Oh, I'm uninteresting.

Good. Yeah. Because after the debacle
with my last aid, smoking something

Afghani train wreck, I need somebody
totally by the book.

You got it.

Oh, wow.

By the book.

So was it good for you?

All joking aside, was it true what you
said about that private mom?

He sure cried like it was true. He did.

I sure got hit in the head a lot. Yeah,
but you always got right back up.

I sure got hit in the head a lot.

Is the enemy okay?

I don't know.

General Martin said we can't go to the
medic unless we want to be diagnosed as

weak. Your dad with General Martin
equals disaster.

Okay. Look, it's only for a few more
days, so, I don't know, try to make

tonight. Don't have sex with them. Or
do. I don't know. I'm not your mom.

What?

Do you guys do that stick -fighting
thing every day?

No. Some days it's paintball.

General Martin designed their own guns.

They are very powerful.

Looks like it.

Oh, we have got to get our hands on
those paintball guns.

I sure got hit in the head.

A lot.

We need to steal those paintball guns
before tomorrow.

Because unless General Martin made those
paintball guns shoot mimosas, I am not

letting that demon ruin my Sunday, too.
Because General Martin's idea of fun is

torture.

Oh, I didn't find guns, but I think I
might have found something else.

Great. All I found were these candy
jawbreakers.

Papa, take a look at my candy. Those are
paintballs.

Hey, what's going on?

Nothing. I was just watching a YouTube
compilation with Martin of old people

falling down.

And when they fall in water, we drink.

Pretty drunk.

So I grabbed some scotch. Wait, are the
old people hurt?

Not the ones who fall in the water, you
know, as long as they can swim, which a

lot of them can't.

Anyways, I realized something. It's
pretty cool, man. I'm liking having her

around. Turns out when you like somebody
the way I like her and you take that

little step.

It could be a good thing. And I came to
that conclusion on my own.

I didn't need therapy like that family
court judge said I did.

Right? Yeah, I guess, uh... Sometimes
you gotta take a risk. Unless you're an

old person on an escalator. Yeah, you
just want to take the stairs?

Huh. Okay. How you doing?

Thanks for asking. Yeah, actually, you
know when you have these things... Yeah,

I gotta... She's waiting on me. Oh,
yeah, yeah. No, no. Yeah, yeah. You

get back to watching old people.

All right, pal. All right. See ya. No
problem. Okay. If you get bored, you can

come over and watch. I'm not gonna do
that.

The key to disappointing soldiers isn't
the yelling. It's the silence between

the yelling. Huh.

Because I just do the opposite. I just,
like, I rant for, like, you know, a

solid block, like, six, seven minutes,
and then I throw something.

Ooh, what's your favorite thing to
throw?

Like a chair, you know, like Bobby
Knight style, you know?

It really gets their attention.

This is interesting, though, comparing
notes. I like this.

It's hard to be mean in a vacuum.

Yeah?

Who the hell is that?

What is it?

Hey.

Where's General Martin? Who is it?

It's a personal friend seeking guidance
over... I got my girlfriend pregnant,

and she's in love with her best friend,
and they're going to raise the kid

together. I got it, hon. Listen, I found
blueprints of the face in General

Martin's office.

I also ate paint.

So what's the deal? Maybe she was going
to get a frame for me, like as a gift or

something. These are the exact
blueprints that Gideon was tricked into

We never found out who was behind that.
Maybe it was Martin.

There's also plans for a remodel of the
bait.

Yeah, I didn't think that was funny.

So what do we get?

It's women tearing down women time,
isn't it? Did you guys learn nothing

that human resources video I had you
watch with the animated bears? Because

was all about that kind of stuff.

So your girlfriend is not being straight
with you. You go and sex fly. She is

your girlfriend.

You know what? Look at the bright side.

You know, two moms means less
responsibility for you, Papa Doc. You

We'll talk about it more tomorrow. I was
making that up. I was making that up.

Hey, wait, we gotta talk. No, no, we're
talking.

No, we're talking. Okay.

Hey,

what do you think? You think we should
remodel the tea sack?

No, I think it's fine.

Yeah, me too.

I mean, the only way a remodel would
make sense is if you were going to

the number of troops. Then you'd bash
out the back wall. You'd switch out the

round tables for bench seating and
expand the kitchen. But that's just off

top of my head.

Right.

How's the book?

It's good.

Just getting to the section on Pearl
Harbor.

Politics aside, you got to respect a
surprise attack.

Yeah.

You've got me in my office on a Sunday.

It better be World War III. I think if
it was World War III, sir, you'd already

be in your bunker.

Is General Martin taking over my base?
What? No, no, no, no, no. The U .S. Army

is giving it away.

You're just giving bases away now? What
are you, that's nuts.

No wonder you've never seen combat. When
the fighting starts, I guess you just,

what, surrender?

NATO has made a massive weapons deal
with the army, and General Martin wants

you know, a training base in the region.
So since Baumholder is a base of value,

I convinced our superiors to throw in
Strugdorf, you know, like free perfume

with purchase.

You know, your whole obsession with
humiliating me is now reaching a really

creepy, fetishy area. I'm not the one
who invited your girlfriend to move in.

That you did on your own.

And now she is your boss.

Oh, see, I wanted to capture that exact
moment so that it will pop up on my

screensaver from time to time. Of
course, because you need something to

the pictures of all the kids you never
see anymore.

Oh, well, look who's talking.

You know what, sir? I'm not going to let
you get away with this.

Too late.

The wheels are already turning. Oh, and
if you try to block it, you will be

crushed. Oh, see, your eyes were closed.
So let's try this again. How does it

feel? to be the only American to lose a
battle with Canada.

Oh, see, now that, that's a keeper.

You know what, sir? I should give you a
fair warning. You might want to get that

bunker ready. I'm about to start World
War III.

There it is.

Yeah, that's what we were looking for.

Yeah. And I think I know why we found
it.

You do?

Mm -hmm.

Because I took a job with General
Martin.

She called me and offered me a position
as her permanent aide at NATO, which,

you know, comes with a move, but also
comes with a promotion to major.

Wow. Which is not in your chain of
command. And we can do this.

I didn't realize that when I submitted
my

retirement paperwork last night.

What? I mean, sometimes you gotta take a
risk, right?

I mean... I mean, this is crazy. Isn't
it funny that we, like, gift of the Magi

to each other? That is crazy.

We're still on the same page.

Actually, we're not.

We're not?

Well, no.

Look, I accepted a new job, like, 30
minutes away.

Uh -huh.

You quit.

Your job. You gave up your whole career.

20 years of service for a girl you
haven't even been on a date with.

You're welcome.

Okay.

Okay. Look, I've failed at every
relationship that I've ever been in,

right? Uh -huh. And you, well, you
literally just got a divorce.

Probably should have talked about that
first.

Yeah, we probably should have, but, I
mean, I've been thinking about it, and

I've been thinking about us a lot.

I actually see a future for us, okay? I
see, like, the house, the family

wireless plants, kids.

Kids? Yeah. Would we talk about that?

Or would you surprise me with some?

I'm not gonna surprise you with kids if
that's not how that works, okay? I have

to go.

I do.

I'm helping General Martin prep her
schedule, okay, as soon as I find my

Okay, dude, you don't need to do this,
okay? You don't need to run away. Don't

be like the colonel, okay? You don't
need to avoid emotional conversations.

can talk through this.

I am nothing like my dad.

Don't do this. Don't just walk away.
Let's talk about it. What do you want to

talk about, huh? Sit my Christmas tree
up the chimney, huh?

I'm sorry you found out this way. I
wasn't supposed to say anything until it

official. Oh, really? I've told you
plenty of official secrets, okay? Like

fact that we have a sound cannon that
makes people projectile bombs. And that

was one of the most romantic dates of my
whole life.

Look, you have worked so hard making
this base a success. Enjoy the spoils.

taking over can just allow you to
transfer to a better base. You're right.

Oh, my God, I didn't even think of it
that way.

You're doing me a favor.

I should be thanking you. I'm going to
send you some thank you flowers. Where

should I send them? Oh, yeah, right
here, because you live here now.

It's not personal, Patrick. Oh, it's
very personal, okay? You Trojan horse me

with two of my favorite things, sex and
human cockfighting. If you wanted to

move in, you should have just asked.

I'm not your enemy, but I could be. God,
you are already my enemy. My God.

You know what? I'm just going to give
you a heads up.

I planted an alarm in here. It's going
to go off very soon.

Loud enough to drive you crazy, but
faint enough that when you look for it,

you won't be able to locate where it
actually is.

Oh, yeah, that's going to drive me nuts.

Merry Christmas, Grinch.

Really, this is... All you got is the
rosé? I mean, rosé is more about, like,

quantity. That's why it comes in a box.

I can't believe Martin thought she was
doing me a favor.

I can't believe Shaw thought he was
doing me a favor.

Crazy. It is insane. Dude, it sacrifices
everything for...

Our future?

Like they're our saviors or something.
It's insane. It's crazy behavior.

You don't think there's a chance that we
are self -sabotaging Quinn style so

that we don't get hurt?

No. No.

It's not us, honey. It's always them.
It's them. It's them.

That's the way they want it to think.
I'm obviously not going to take the job

with General Martin after everything
that I've... Have you learned nothing

working with me? What do you mean?

Career goes before family every time. So
you are taking that job. Okay, number

one, you earned it. Number two, you
deserve it.

Thanks, Dad.

Plus, it can't hurt to have a Quinn on
the inside. Find out what her next moves

are going to be. And then, you know,
frame her for selling military secrets.

Wait, what?

You know, see how you feel.

Company, attention!

Our training exercise is on hold. The
paintball gear has been stolen.

Don't worry.

I've been eating the evidence.

The guns were in my office and only
Stroopstorff soldiers had access.

Maybe it's a cat burglar situation.

Interesting theory. So what I'm going to
do is keep my eyes peeled for someone

very sexy wearing spandex.

Well, don't look at me.

The only thing I'm guilty of feeling is
hot. I am in charge of this base now and

I order everyone to be normal.

Yes, ma 'am.

We will be normal.

Normal.

Big dark.

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