Original subtitles

NARRATOR: (SHOUTING)

PREVIOUSLY ON

"BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE"!

-I'M HERE OFFICIALLY ON BEHALF

OF THE NCAA TO INFORM YOU THAT

YOUR TEAM IS UNDER INVESTIGATION

FOR MAJOR RULE

VIOLATIONS.

-COCAINE!

-RECOGNIZE THIS MAN?

HE WORKS FOR US.

-POT, COKE, STEROIDS.

TALK TO HARMON TEDESCO.

I'M THE MOLE.

-12 STARTERS FROM BLUE MOUNTAIN

STATE, AS WELL AS

HEAD COACH MARTY DANIELS, HAVE

BEEN SUSPENDED BY THE NCAA FOR

VARIOUS RULE VIOLATIONS AND NOT

ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE IN

THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP

GAME.

-I KNOW I SCREWED UP, GUYS.

I'M GOING TO MAKE IT

UP TO YOU, I SWEAR.

-WE'D PLAY THE REAL

BMS TEAM ANYTIME.

-ANYWHERE.

-MY NAME IS THAD CASTLE.

I'M A BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE

FOOTBALL PLAYER WHO'S BEEN

CHOSEN BY GOD TO CARRY OUT

A MISSION ON YOUR FARM.

[ REV THEORY'S "HELL YEAH"

PLAYS ]

CAN YOU FEEL THAT?

YOU BETTER HOLD ON.

THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY.

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ HELL, YEAH ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

-[GROANING]

HEY.

OK.

[PANTING]

FEMALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):

M-S!

[CROWD CHEERING]

-NICE HIT!

-WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

-I WAS TAKING A PISS

OVER THERE.

-I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.

[CROWD CHEERING]

-HAMMER TWO!

HAMMER TWO!

-52 ISN'T MINE!

52 ISN'T MINE.

-16.

BLUE 16.

HUT.

-[GRUNTS]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-WHOO!

ALL DAY, MORAN!

YOU'RE NOTHING!

I DON'T THINK SO.

-WHAT'S GOING ON?

WE RAN THREE PLAYS.

WE LOST 11 YARDS.

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING

THAT WORKS?

-I'M TRYING, COACH.

COACH DANIELS (OFFSCREEN):

JESUS.

-I NEED A RIDE.

-WHAT ABOUT THE GAME?

-THIS IS FOR THE GAME.

-GIRLS, QUICKLY!

TAKE THIS WOMAN ANYWHERE

SHE WANTS TO GO!

GET OUT OF HERE!

GO, GO, GO!

[ENGINE REVS]

-GO.

-HEY, WILSON, HERE I COME,

YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, A

FREIGHT TRAIN FULL OF BALLS,

MUSCLES, AND TACKLE.

-DOWN!

HIT!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-JACK!

-DAMN IT!

-CASTLE, I'M STARTING TO THINK

THE NCAA DID YOU GUYS A FAVOR

BY NOT LETTING YOU PLAY

IN THAT GAME.

SAVED YOU THE EMBARRASSMENT.

-WAITRESS, WAITRESS, YEAH, CAN

YOU GIVE ME A COUPLE MORE

BEERS, PLEASE?

OH, AND AN ESPRESSO.

-THOSE WILL BE YOUR FIFTH

AND SIXTH BEERS.

-SO?

-SO IT'S 9:30 IN THE MORNING.

-WHAT ARE YOU, MY MOTHER?

GET A LIFE.

-MARCUS.

-OH!

GOD, WHAT IS THIS,

BITCH CENTRAL?

-I'M HERE TO MAKE YOU AN OFFER

TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT.

THERE'S A GAME GOING ON AS WE

SPEAK IN A CORNFIELD OUTSIDE

OF TOWN, BMS VERSUS BLACKWELL.

-NO WAY.

-MM-HMM.

MARTY NEEDS YOU.

THEY'RE ALL OVER HIM.

-[CHUCKLES]

I'M DONE HERE.

YOU CAN TELL MARTY WHATEVER HE

NEEDS, HE CAN SHOVE IT UP HIS

ASS.

-HEY, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.

-NO, YOU WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.

-CUT THE "POOR ME" BULLSHIT.

THIS GAME'S REAL.

YOU HAVE MORAN, CASTLE,

ALL YOUR WEAPONS.

YOU'VE PLAYED BLACKWELL

ONCE BEFORE.

YOU HAVE INSIGHT MARTY

DOESN'T HAVE.

-YOU'RE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS.

-THIS IS YOUR ONE CHANCE

AT REDEMPTION.

DO YOU WANT IT OR NOT?

-[GRUNTS]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-[SCREAMS]

-DOWN GOES THE BIG MAN.

HAVE FUN IN REHAB!

-[SCREAMING]

-BLUE 16!

-I SMELL ME SOME FRESH

MEAT, BOYS.

-SET!

HIT!

-WHOO!

YEAH!

[PLAYERS CHEERING]

-JESUS, MORAN.

YOUR CHEERLEADERS PUT UP MORE

OF A FIGHT THAN YOU.

SOUVENIR?

WHOO!

-[GRUNTING]

-YOU'RE GOING DOWN, MORAN!

I'M TAKING YOU DOWN!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-THAT'S THE HALF!

[SIDE CONVERSATIONS]

[COWS MOOING]

-WE MIGHT HAVE TO AMPUTATE

THAT ANKLE.

-I WOULD IF IT WOULD MAKE

IT FEEL BETTER.

I DON'T THINK I CAN PLAY.

-IF I STILL HAD MY POT, I'D GET

YOU SO HIGH YOU WOULDN'T

FEEL A THING.

BUT OUR ASSHOLE CAPTAIN BURNED

IT TO GET GOD HIGH.

-YEAH.

HE DIDN'T BURN IT.

-WHAT?

-HE TOLD ME TO BURN IT, BUT

I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE.

FOLLOW ME.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

Y VOILA!

-I WAS SO SURE YOU

GUYS WERE GONE.

-ARE YOU CRYING?

-[INHALES DEEPLY]

-OH.

OK.

THAT'S WEIRD.

-[MOANING]

-YOU ARE ONE WEIRD GUY, MAN.

-LOOK, THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME

PLACE WHERE THEY'RE VULNERABLE

DEFENSIVELY.

THEY'RE-- THEY'RE KICKING

OUR ASSES.

-I DIDN'T SEE ANY, MARTY.

-THIS IS A PRIVATE MEETING.

-WHAT THE HELL ARE

YOU DOING HERE?

-OH, MAN, I KNEW THIS

WAS A BAD IDEA.

-YEAH, IT WAS A BAD

IDEA, ASSHOLE.

-HEY.

-MARTY, SHUT UP AND LISTEN.

WHAT, ARE YOU TWO BOTH THAT

ARROGANT TO THINK

YOU GOT HERE ALONE?

-YES.

-YES.

-MARTY, YOUR OFFENSE IS GETTING

CRUSHED OUT THERE.

AND YES, GILDAY CAN BE A SELFISH

PRICK, BUT HE KNOWS

HOW TO RUN AN OFFENSE.

AND IF THIS TEAM HAS ANY CHANCE

AT WINNING TODAY, IT'S

GOING TO START WITH YOU TWO.

-YOU KNOW, I GREW UP WATCHING

YOU, COACH.

I USED TO WANT TO BE YOU.

WHEN I GOT TO BMS, I GUESS I

JUST WANTED IT SO BAD THAT I

LOST SIGHT OF WHAT IT WAS THAT

I LOVED ABOUT COACHING IN THE

FIRST PLACE.

I'M SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING.

LET ME MAKE IT UP TO

YOU RIGHT NOW.

-TELL ME I'M THE GREATEST

COACH THAT EVER LIVED.

-YOU ARE THE GREATEST COACH

THAT EVER LIVED.

-YOU ALWAYS COME THROUGH

FOR ME, BUDDY.

[COW MOOS]

-YOU WANT SOME, ALEX?

-NO, HE DOESN'T.

HE NEEDS TO FOCUS.

-I NEED TO FOCUS?

HOW DID YOU TALK TO ME INTO

THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?

THIS IS A STUPID IDEA!

-THIS ISN'T OVER YET!

-MIGHT AS WELL BE!

-ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,

LISTEN UP.

THAT WAS THE WORST HALF OF

FOOTBALL I THINK WE'VE EVER

PLAYED, BUT IT'S BEHIND US.

YOU KNOW, WHAT I SAID BEFORE THE

GAME ABOUT HOW THIS GAME

WAS ABOUT STICKING IT TO ALL

THE PEOPLE WHO WRONGED US,

WELL, I WAS WRONG.

THIS GAME SHOULD BE

A CELEBRATION.

THERE'S NO MEDIA.

THERE'S NO MONEY.

THERE'S NO NCAA.

THERE'S NO BULLSHIT.

IT'S JUST FOOTBALL.

I WANT YOU ALL TO CLOSE YOUR

EYES AND THINK ABOUT THE FIRST

TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN

YOU REALIZED HOW MUCH

YOU LOVE THIS GAME.

-WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

-YOU KNOW, THAD, THERE'S NO

MONEY IN ROLLERBLADING.

-SO WHAT?

-I'M JUST SAYING, YOU

CAN MAKE A BILLION

DOLLARS PLAYING FOOTBALL.

-A BILLION DOLLARS?

THANKS, DAD.

I LOVE YOU!

-HIT THIS, LITTLE COUSIN,

YOU CAN SMOKE A

BALL OUT OF EACH BONG.

YEAH!

-PACK 'EM UP, COUSIN DENNIS.

YEAH!

-[LAUGHING]

-MAN, I LOVE FOOTBALL SO MUCH.

-ME TOO.

-NOW I WANT YOU TO DO ANOTHER

THING FOR ME, WHICH IS STOP

PLAYING THIS GAME FOR THAT

CRYSTAL TROPHY AND PLAY THIS

GAME FOR THAT MOMENT.

-ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,

LISTEN UP.

-YEAH, LET'S GO.

-WE'VE BEEN RUNNING SCREENS TO

THE LEFT ALL GAME, BUT IN THE

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME,

THAT WAS THEIR

STRONGEST SIDE OF THE LINE.

MORAN, I WANT YOU TO FAKE A

SCREEN TO THE RIGHT, DRAWING

OVER THE LEFT SIDE.

AND THAT LEAVES THE MIDDLE

WIDE OPEN FOR A DRAW.

-I'VE BEEN FAKING

SCREENS ALL DAY.

THEY'VE BEEN ALL OVER ME.

-THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT

SELLING IT, MORAN.

YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE THEM BELIEVE

THAT WHEN YOU PUMP,

THAT BALL'S GONNA LEAVE YOUR

HAND, JUST LIKE YOU MAKE EVERY

SINGLE GIRL BELIEVE THAT SHE'S

THE ONLY ONE FOR YOU RIGHT

BEFORE YOU TAKE THEM TO BED.

-HMM?

IT SOUNDS MEAN WHEN YOU

SAY IT LIKE THAT.

-YEAH.

-IT'S A PRETTY GOOD

METAPHOR, THOUGH.

-YEAH!

-YEAH!

-HEY, UH, YOU ALL

RIGHT, DONNIE?

HOW'S THE LEG?

-(LAUGHING) I'VE--

I'VE NEVER FELT BETTER, COACH.

[LAUGHS]

P-- P--

PUT-- PUT-- PUT ME IN, COACH.

PUT--

[LAUGHS]

-BLUE 16!

SET!

HUT!

HUT!

DONNIE (OFFSCREEN): [LAUGHING]

-DONNIE!

DONNIE (OFFSCREEN): [LAUGHING]

[CHEERS]

-[LAUGHING]

-ALL RIGHT, DONNIE'S STONED

OFF HIS ASS RIGHT NOW, SO

NOBODY MOVE UNTIL YOU

SEE THE BALL MOVE.

UNDERSTOOD?

READY?

-BREAK!

DONNIE (OFFSCREEN): [LAUGHING]

-SET!

HUT!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-OFF SIDES, DEFENSE.

-[LAUGHING]

-BLUE BIG C. SET!

HUT!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-OFF SIDES, DEFENSE.

DONNIE (OFFSCREEN): [LAUGHING]

-SNAP THE DAMN BALL, FATTY!

-HUT!

[CHEERS]

-UH-OH!

THAT'S A TOUCHDOWN!

THAT'S SIX!

THAT'S SIX!

THAT'S SIX!

THAT'S SIX!

-CHECK IT OUT.

CHECK IT OUT.

WATCH PLAY ACTION!

-[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

HUT!

-WHOO!

WHAT TIME IS IT?

IT'S SACK TIME!

WHAT TIME IS IT?

IT'S SACK TIME!

YOU JUST GOT SACKED!

-OH, SHIT.

DID I RING YOUR BELL?

-WHOO!

-HEY, STALIN, WANT TO

KNOW SOMETHING?

I BUILT THIS FIELD ALL BY

MYSELF WITH NO HELP.

FOR REAL!

-[GRUNTS]

-YEAH!

-RAZOR TWO!

RAZOR TWO!

-RED ONE!

RED ONE!

-RED ONE!

RED ONE!

-SET!

HIKE!

-GO UP THE MIDDLE!

-SHIT.

[CROWD GROANS]

FEMALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): OOH,

THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURT!

[KIDS CHEERING]

-GO DEEP, SAMMY.

SET, SET, HIT!

-I'M OPEN!

I'M OPEN!

[CHEERS]

-NICE THROW.

-THANKS.

-[CHUCKLES]

THANKS.

-TIME OUT, REF.

TIME OUT.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):

TIME OUT, BLUE.

-WHAT THE HELL'S THE MASCOT

DOING CALLING

OUR LAST TIME OUT?

-ALEX, LISTEN TO ME.

THERE ARE SEVEN SECONDS

LEFT IN THIS GAME.

I DIDN'T SPEND THREE DAYS

BUILDING A FIELD, SLEEPING IN

A BARN, DRINKING MILK FROM A

COW'S TIT, AND GETTING PUNCHED

IN THE FACE BY A GIANT

DOUCHEBAG FOR ME!

I DID IT FOR YOU.

-THANKS, BUD.

-HEY, COACH.

LAST PLAY OF THE GAME.

LET ME RUN A POST

TO THE CORNER.

THEIR DBS ARE TIRED.

LOOK.

-COACH, PUT ME IN THE GAME.

-WE'RE ON OFFENSE, THAD.

-I KNOW, BUT THIS MIGHT BE THE

LAST TIME I EVER PUT ON THIS

UNIFORM, AND I WANT THE WEIGHT

OF THIS GAME ON MY SHOULDERS.

-LOOK, I CAN'T DO THAT.

-HE'S RIGHT, COACH.

WHO KNOWS IF ANY OF US ARE GOING

TO PLAY AGAIN NEXT YEAR.

RIGHT?

NO ONE WANTS THIS WIN MORE THAN

THE GUYS WHO DIDN'T GET

TO PLAY IN THE BOWL GAME.

NOW IF YOU MEANT WHAT YOU SAID

IN THE BARN, AND YOU REALLY

WANT US TO PLAY FOR THAT MOMENT,

YOU GOT TO LET US.

-I WANT TO KISS YOU SO

BAD RIGHT NOW, MORAN.

-I WANT IN TOO, COACH.

-ME TOO.

-ALL RIGHT.

YOU GUYS, YOU CAN PLAY.

GET IN THERE.

-ALL RIGHT.

GUYS.

ALL RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT

WE'RE GOING TO DO, OK?

YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT.

LARRY, ON THE LEFT.

THAD, YOU'RE BEHIND HIM.

[INAUDIBLE]

HE GOES STRAIGHT.

THEY'RE GOING TO COME HARD

FROM THE LEFT SIDE,

WHICH WILL LEAVE

THE RIGHT WIDE OPEN.

HARMON, YOU'RE THE QUICK OUT.

LARRY, YOU'RE THE SAFETY

UNDERNEATH.

GOT IT?

WE GOOD?

-WAIT.

WHAT DO I DO AGAIN?

-JUST KEEP STALIN OFF ME.

[CHEERS]

-DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO

RUN IT AT ME, CASTLE.

-ALL RIGHT.

YOU GUYS REMEMBER WHAT TO DO?

-IS THIS A JOKE?

-AM I RUNNING, OR

ARE YOU RUNNING?

-THE ONLY JOKE IS THAT

HAIRCUT, STALIN.

BLUE 16.

BLUE 16.

HIT!

[CHEERS]

-WE'RE FRIENDS AGAIN!

YEAH!

BEST FRIENDS!

-WE DID IT, SAMMY!

-YOU KNOW MY NAME!

[CHEERS]

-YOU SAVED US TODAY.

-WHOO!

-GIVE IT UP!

YOU GUYS ROCK!

-HEY.

-HEY.

-YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, MORAN.

YOU TOO, CASTLE.

AWESOME JOB BUILDING

THE FIELD.

-FINALLY.

-WE DID IT!

[CHEERS]

-YES!

WE DID IT, COACH!

WE FINALLY DID IT.

-ALL RIGHT, GIVE IT BACK.

-WHAT?

-WE DIDN'T PLAY FOR THAT.

JUST GIVE IT BACK.

-OH, MAN!

-HEY, GUYS, GOD SAVED ME ENOUGH

WEED TO ADD AN EXTRA

FOOT TO THE MEGA SPLIFF.

[LAUGHS]

-SHIT!

LET'S LIGHT IT UP!

[CHEERS]

-SAY BMS!

-BMS!

[CHEERS]