Original subtitles

-THE SCANDAL THAT HAS ROCKED

THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL WORLD.

12 STARTERS FROM BLUE MOUNTAIN

STATE AS WELL AS HEAD COACH

MARTY DANIELS HAVE BEEN

SUSPENDED BY THE NCAA FOR

VARIOUS RULE VIOLATIONS AND NOT

ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE IN

THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP

GAME.

-FEELS GOOD TO BE A CHAMPION.

THAT WAS THE EASIEST GAME WE

PLAYED ALL YEAR BY FAR.

-(ANGRILY) YOU KNOW, WE DIDN'T

WANT TO WIN IT THIS WAY.

WE WANTED TO BEAT THEIR

BEST. THAD CASTLE,

MORAN, COACH DANIELS.

AND IT SUCKS BECAUSE

NOW, THERE'S

ALWAYS GOING TO BE DOUBTERS.

-AND DOUBTERS SHOULD KNOW

THAT WE'D PLAY THE

REAL BMS TEAM ANYTIME.

-(ANGRILY) ANYWHERE!

MALE REPORTER (OFFSCREEN): DID

YOU REALIZE YOU'D WON THE

CHAMPIONSHIP?

-WELL, WHEN WE WENT UP BY FIVE

TOUCHDOWNS, THE OFFENSE TOOK

THEIR FOOT OFF THE GAS.

-(ANGRILY) AND THERE AIN'T

NO WAY BMS WAS GOING TO

SCORE ON OUR D!

NO WAY!

-WE PLAYED BY THE RULES

ALL SEASON.

BMS DID NOT.

THAT'S WHY I'M SITTING HERE

TONIGHT AND COACH DANIELS IS

WHEREVER HE IS.

MALE REPORTER (OFFSCREEN):

COACH, YOUR SYSTEM SEEMED TO

FALL APART TODAY WITHOUT ALEX

MORAN AT QUARTERBACK.

DO YOU STAND BY YOUR SYSTEM?

-I THINK THE SYSTEM STILL WORKS

IF YOU PLUG PLAYERS IN.

TODAY IT DIDN'T WORK

OUT AS I'D HOPED.

THAT'S ALL.

[REPORTERS SHOUTING]

MALE REPORTER (OFFSCREEN):

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE STILL

EMPLOYABLE AS A D1 HEAD

COACH AFTER SUCH AN

EMBARRASSING DEBUT?

[REPORTERS SHOUTING]

-SO THE BLACKWELL WARRIORS ARE

THE NEW NATIONAL CHAMPIONS.

BUT ARE THEY THE BEST TEAM

IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL?

-I STILL THINK IT'S BLUE

MOUNTAIN STATE.

BUT WE'LL NEVER KNOW.

-SON OF A BITCH.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):

THAD.

THAD.

THAD!

HEY THAD!

WAKE UP, THAD.

-THAD WAKE UP.

-HEY THAD.

-WAKE UP, THAD.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): AND

THE BLACKWELL WARRIORS ARE THE

2005 NATIONAL CHAMPIONS.

[CHEERING]

-I WANNA BEAT THAD CASTLE.

[GASP]

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):

ANYTIME, ANYWHERE.

[ REV THEORY'S "HELL YEAH"

PLAYS ]

CAN YOU FEEL THAT?

YOU BETTER HOLD ON.

THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY.

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ HELL, YEAH ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

-(SHOUTING) ALEX,

WHAT'S UP BUDDY?

WOW, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE.

HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.

WHAT DO YOU SAY ME AND YOU GO

WATCH THE GIRLS TENNIS TEAM

PRACTICE, RIGHT?

-NO.

-COME ON, MAN, IT'D BE GOOD.

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN OUT THE HOUSE

IN LIKE A WEEK. COME ON.

-I NO LONGER CARE ABOUT THE

PASSAGE OF TIME, SAMMY.

-WHAT?

-DONNIE BET ME I COULDN'T

EAT AN ENTIRE

PIZZA IN ONE SITTING.

-COME ON MAN, IT WAS

ONLY ONE GAME.

HEY, REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE

LITTLE, WE USED TO PLAY

FOOTBALL IN YOUR BACKYARD.

WE PLAYED THAT GAME.

THEN AFTER THAT GAME, WE

STARTED ANOTHER GAME.

I MEAN, THAT'S THE GREAT

THING ABOUT FOOTBALL.

THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT

SEASON, RIGHT?

-YOU'RE RIGHT, SAMMY.

IT WAS JUST ONE GAME.

BUT REALLY, MAYBE THEY'RE

ALL JUST ONE GAME.

MAYBE I SHOULDN'T CARE

ABOUT ANY OF THEM.

(ANGRILY) I'M NOT FINISHED!

-IT WASN'T JUST ONE GAME.

-OH, YOU.

-IT WAS MY LAST SHOT

AT A TITLE.

THOSE BASTARDS AT THE NCAA JUST

TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME.

AND WHY?

BECAUSE I DID A LITTLE RABIES?

I MADE A SEXY TAPE.

-THEY TOOK IT AWAY FROM YOU

BECAUSE YOU TOLD THEM ALL OF

THOSE THINGS.

-(ANGRILY) FOR THE LAST TIME, I

DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS RECORDING

ME!

-(SHOUTING) ON 12 SEPARATE

OCCASIONS?

-AH!

-(ANGRILY) HE WAS BUYING

ME DRINKS!

I KNOW WE SCREWED UP, GUYS.

I'M GOING TO MAKE IT

UP TO YOU, I SWEAR.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): HEY

GUYS, I'VE GOT A BETTER WAY TO

SPEND THE TIME.

IT'S CALLED THE BEST WEED

YOU'VE EVER SMOKED.

AND I'M GOING TO USE IT TO

ROLE A MEGA SPLIFF SO BIG

IT'LL TAKE OUR ENTIRE O

LINE A WEEK TO FINISH.

[LAUGHTER]

-I LOVE IT.

-FOLLOW ME.

I HAVE THE ANSWERS YOU'RE

LOOKING FOR.

-HOW'D DO YOU THAT?

-DO WHAT?

-DARLENE, WHAT HAPPENED

TO ALL MY PICTURES?

-TONY TOOK THEM DOWN.

IT WAS BUMMING OUT

THE CUSTOMERS.

-(ANGRILY) YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU

TELL TONY THAT I LIED ABOUT

HIM HAVING THE BEST

COFFEE TOWN.

YEAH.

AND I THINK HE'S FAT!

-SO HOW BIG IS THIS

JOINT GOING TO BE?

-THINKING MAYBE FOUR FEET LONG,

ABOUT A FOOT AND A HALF

WIDE.

-LET'S MAKE IT FIVE, HUH?

-EXCUSE ME JUST FOR A

MOMENT, GENTLEMEN.

HEY, THAD.

-HEY.

-MIND IF I BORROW THE

KEYS TO YOUR TRUCK?

-WHAT FOR?

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ANSWERS?

-SURE, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

-YEAH.

SURE THING.

THERE YOU GO.

[CANS EXPLODING]

-(SHOUTING) DAMMIT.

WHERE ARE WE?

-PROMISED LAND, ALEX.

FOLLOW ME.

-WE JUST LOST A SIX-PACK.

[THUD]

[GASP]

-WHERE ARE WE GOING?

-YEAH, HARMON.

-YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.

THE MAN WITH THE HASH IS

THE MAN WITH THE STASH.

-HOLY MOTHER MARY.

-THIS IS YOURS?

-PLANTED THIS MARIJUANA

FIELD WHEN I WAS

IN MY FRESHMAN YEAR.

FARMER'S COOL WITH IT

AND HE GETS ALL THE

FREE WEED HE WANTS.

[YELLING]

-HERE'S YOUR ANSWER.

[GASP]

-WELL, THIS LOOKS ABOUT READY TO

HARVEST. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE

SAMPLE IT TONIGHT?

-I'M IN.

-(SHOUTING) THANK YOU, GOD!

[CRYING]

-LET'S GO.

-WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE AGAIN?

-YOU'RE MY HOUSE BOY, MASCOT.

YOU DON'T ASK QUESTIONS.

YOU FOLLOW ME AND OBEY ORDERS.

-(SHOUTING) ARE YOU

GOING TO KILL ME?

OH, HOLY SHIT.

IS ALL THIS WEED FOR US?

-IT'S FOR ALL OF US.

I'M GOING TO START CHOPPING.

YOU START HAULING.

I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.

-IF I COULD HAVE ONE WISH, I'D

WISH FOR THE CHANCE TO KICK

THE SHIT OUT OF THAT CHEAP

PUNK ALEX MORAN.

I'D TAKE HIM TO A DARK

PLACE, BABY.

-I WOULD HAVE TO SAY $50

MILLION, BUT THAT

SOUNDS ALL RIGHT TOO.

-GOD, I HATE THOSE GUYS.

-IT DOESN'T HELP THAT

THEY'RE SO HANDSOME!

ARGH!

-DID WE MAKE OUT BEFORE?

-MHMM.

-IT WAS MUCH BETTER LAST

TIME, WASN'T IT?

YEAH, OK.

OH GOD, I THINK THERE'S

SOMETHING WRONG

WITH THE BEER, GUYS.

KEEPS GIVING ME BAD BREATH.

-MINE TASTES FINE.

-(SHOUTING) YOU GUYS

SEEN SAMMY?

-IS HE OK?

[CRASHING]

-WHO CARES?

-I HEARD THAT, LARRY.

AND GOD HEARD THAT TOO.

AND HE'S ON MY SIDE RIGHT NOW,

SO IF I WERE YOU, I'D SHUT UP.

-HAVE YOU SEEN SAMMY?

[HISS]

[HISS]

-YOU KNOW WHAT, I SAY SCREW BMS.

YOU SHOULD BE COACHING

PROS ANYWAY, MARTY.

CALL JERRY JONES.

HE'LL HIRE YOU.

HE'LL HIRE ANYBODY.

-HEY COACH.

I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE

AND THANK YOU

FOR RUINING MY CAREER.

-YOU DID THAT TO YOURSELF.

-OH NO.

I DID NOT BRING SHAME TO THIS

PROGRAM WITH AN NCAA SCANDAL.

(WHISPERING) THAT WAS YOU.

-YOU WANTED YOUR SHOT

AND YOU GOT IT.

BUT YOU COULDN'T HANDLE

IT AND NOW YOU WANT

TO BLAME ME, RIGHT?

HUH?

-IF YOU COULD JUST CONTROL

YOUR PLAYERS A LITTLE BIT

BETTER, WE WOULDN'T BE

IN THIS SITUATION.

-(SHOUTING) HEY, DON'T

YOU TELL ME HOW TO--

-COACH, COME ON.

-HEY, I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE

YOUR FACE IN THIS LOCKER ROOM

AGAIN.

-OH, YOU'LL SEE IT AGAIN FROM

ANOTHER SIDELINE NEXT YEAR,

YOU CHEATING HAS-BEEN!

-I'M OK, ALL RIGHT.

RELAX.

[ROOSTER CALL]

-MASCOT.

-YEAH.

-MAKE ME SOME EGGS.

-YOU GOT IT, BOSS.

-HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO

DOING SLEEPING IN MY BARN?

-SIR, MY NAME IS THAD CASTLE.

I'M A BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE

FOOTBALL PLAYER WHO'S BEEN

CHOSEN BY GOD TO CARRY OUT

A MISSION ON YOUR FARM.

THIS IS MY HOUSE BOY.

HIS NAME IS MASCOT.

-HOW'S IT GOING?

-(SCARED) GUN.

-(SCARED) WHAT?

-(SHOUTING) GUN!

-ANYTHING I CAN DO TO

HELP, MR. CASTLE?

[MOOING]

-WE WANT TO BEAT THAD CASTLE.

AND AFTER WE BEAT HIM, HE

CAN SUCK OUR SCHLONGS.

[GASP]

-YOU OK?

-I WAS DREAMING.

-NICE.

NEED A TISSUE?

-WHY WOULD I NEED A TISSUE?

-WET DREAM.

I USED TO GET THEM

ALL THE TIME.

REAL BAD TOO, LIKE WAKE

UP ALL STICKY ICKY.

EWW.

-IT'S TIME TO INVITE

BLACKWELL TO PLAY.

-YEAH, UHH, HAVE YOU SEEN

HOGS AND THE GUYS?

THEY ARE IN NO SHAPE

TO PLAY FOOTBALL.

-THEY'LL PLAY.

GOD TOLD ME SO.

-I CAN PICTURE THIS

JOINT ALREADY.

IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE

A HUGE ZEPPELIN.

-YEAH MAN, WE'LL CALL

IT THE HINDENBURG.

WATCH IT GO UP IN FLAMES.

-(SARCASTICALLY) OH,

THE HUMANITY!

AHH!

-YOU KNOW, THE HINDENBURG

WASN'T FUNNY, MAN.

46 PEOPLE DIED.

-LARRY, I THINK YOU'RE THE

ONE WHO NEEDS THIS JOINT

MORE THAN ALL OF US.

-ALL RIGHT, BOYS.

GET READY TO FEAST YOUR

EYES ON THIS.

-(SHOUTING) HEY!

-SEE?

I TOLD YOU THEY'D COME.

-(SHOUTING) HEY!

-(SHOUTING) WHAT DID YOU

DO WITH ALL MY WEED?

-THAT WAS HERE?

-(HIGH PITCHED) WHAT ARE YOU--

-(EXCITED) WOO!

HEY!

[SHOUTING]

-YOU TORE UP MY POT

FIELD SO YOU COULD

BUILD A FOOTBALL FIELD?

-CORRECT.

-WHERE'S ALL THE WEED?

-I BURNED IT TO GET GOD HIGH.

[GASPING]

-I WANTED TO THANK HIM

FOR MY VISIONS.

-LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR

VISION, THAD.

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO DO WITH

THIS STUPID FIELD OF YOURS?

-WE'RE GOING TO PLAY FOR

THE NATIONAL TITLE.

[LAUGHING]

-BULLSHIT.

-DON'T TELL ME YOU WOULDN'T KILL

TO HAVE A SHOT AT THOSE

ASSHOLES, MORAN.

-EHH.

-THEY'VE BEEN SPOUTING OFF FOR

WEEKS NOW ABOUT HOW THEY WISH

THAT THEY PLAYED THE REAL BMS.

THEY SAID ANYTIME, ANYWHERE.

-BLACKWELL'S NOT GOING TO WANT

TO PLAY YOUR STUPID GAME THAT

DOESN'T EVEN MATTER.

-IT DOES MATTER.

AND THEY ARE GOING TO SHOW.

THE WHEELS ARE ALREADY

IN MOTION.

[SCREAMING]

-(SHOUTING) CHEERLEADERS,

WE GOT A MISSION.

I'M GOING TO NEED

YOUR SCOOTERS.

[CHEERING]

-(SHOUTING) SERIOUSLY?

THIS IS WHAT YOU GUYS

DO WHEN I'M NOT OUT?

[ENGINES REVVING]

[SHOUTING]

-WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO!

-(SHOUTING) WHO WANTS

TO START THE RUCKUS?

-(CHANTING) WHO WANTS

TO START THE RUCKUS?

WHO WANTS TO START THE RUCKUS?

WHO--

-(SHOUTING) YEAH!

[CHANTING]

-(SHOUTING) HELLO!

MY NAME IS SAMMY CACCIATORE.

I COME BEARING A MESSAGE

FROM THAD CASTLE.

"DEAR BLACKWELL, YOU IDIOT

DOUCHEBAGS HAVE BEEN TALKING A

LOT OF TRASH.

I'M OFFERING YOU A CHANCE

TO BACK IT UP.

TOMORROW MORNING, SUN UP,

ON A NEUTRAL FIELD.

NO MEDIA, NO HYPE.

JUST TWO TEAMS BATTLING TO

DECIDE ONCE AND FOR ALL WHO

THE REAL CHAMPION IS.

-IT CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

-I'M NOT DONE YET.

"ON THAT FIELD, WE WILL DESTROY

YOUR ASSES LIKE

THEY'VE NEVER BEEN

DESTROYED BEFORE.

STALIN, ALEX MORAN WILL MAKE YOU

LOOK EVEN DUMBER THAN YOU

ALREADY DO IN THAT PIECE OF

SHIT OUTDATED MULLET.

WILSON, I WILL PERSONALLY SACK

YOU MORE TIMES THAN THE HELL'S

ANGEL HAVE SACKED YOUR MOM.

YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF

GUTLESS PUSSIES.

BMS GOATS."

-(ANGRILY) DID YOU JUST

CALL ME A PUSSY?

-I DID.

I DID.

YEAH.

OH, THAD CASTLE WANTED ME TO

TELL YOU LIKE ONE MORE THING.

AHH, DAMMIT!

OH, YOU LOOK REALLY MAD NOW.

YOU'RE A BIG DUDE.

WHOA!

[SCREAMING]

-HOLY SHIT.

-I BUILT IT ALL BY MYSELF.

CA YOU BELIEVE IT, COACH?

-WOW!

[SHOUTING]

-IT REALLY IS PRETTY GOOD,

ISN'T IT COACH?

-YOU MEAN BLACKWELL IS

GOING TO COME HERE?

-OH, THEY'RE NOT COMING.

HE'S JUST SETTING US UP

FOR ANOTHER LET DOWN.

LET'S JUST GO BACK TO THE

GOAT HOUSE AND DRINK.

-(SHOUTING) YEAH!

WOO!

IT WORKED!

IT'S HAPPENING!

WOO!

-SAMMY?

-(SHOUTING) YEAH, WOO!

OH MY GOSH, YES!

WOO!

YEAH!

-WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

TO YOUR FACE?

-BLACKWELL DID THIS

TO ME, MAN.

THEY SHOVED ME AND THE

CHEERLEADERS FOR NO REASON.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

-THAT LITTLE SHIT MASCOT

WASN'T KIDDING, WAS HE?

-DANIELS.

-ARE WE REALLY GOING

TO DO THIS?

-THAT TROPHY MEANS NOTHING TO ME

UNLESS WE BEAT YOU FOR IT.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):

AH, SCREW THIS.

I'M OUTTA HERE.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): MORAN,

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

-HOME.

I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT.

-THE BEER HASN'T TASTED

AS GOOD THESE LAST

FEW DAYS, HAS IT?

-HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

-YOU'VE HAD THE TASTE

OF WINNING.

NOW THERE'S NO GOING BACK.

ONCE YOU TRY, BEER LOSES

TASTE, SEX LOSES ITS

SQUISHINESS, POT LOSES ITS

HIGHNESS, UNTIL YOU WIN AGAIN.

-BMS IS CONSIDERED

THE HOME TEAM.

BLACKWELL CALLS IT IN THE AIR.

-HEADS.

-IT'S TAILS.

-YES, WE'LL, UHH--

-TAKE THE BALL.

-YES, MORAN.

-YOU'RE GONNA REGRET THAT

DECISION, MORAN.

-OK.

I DON'T KNOW HOW WE GOT

HERE, BUT WE'RE HERE.

NOW, ALL THE ANGER AND

AGGRESSION THAT YOU'VE FELT

THE LAST FEW WEEKS AT THOSE

TRASH TALKERS, AT THE NCAA,

NOW'S THE TIME TO

LET IT ALL OUT.

LET'S SHOW 'EM WHAT REAL

CHAMPIONS LOOK LIKE.

-(SHOUTING) YEAH!

LET'S GO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF

THOSE GUYS ON THIS AWESOME

FIELD THAT I BUILT ALL BY

MYSELF WITH NO HELP!

BRING IT IN ON THREE!

ONE, TWO, THREE!

-(SHOUTING IN UNISON)

GO GOATS!