Original subtitles

NARRATOR: NEXT ON CAN, TAKE A

LOOK BEHIND THE CURTAIN AT THE

EXCITING WORLD OF DIVISION 1

COLLEGE FOOTBALL WITH THE

ORIGINAL DOCUMENTARY

SERIES ONE WEEK.

-NOT SO FUNNY NOW,

IS IT, BOYS?

HUDDLE UP!

NARRATOR: ON TONIGHT'S EPISODE,

BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE.

-I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET YOU

TWO TALK ME INTO THIS.

-RELAX, MARTY.

YOU TURNED THIS WHOLE

TEAM AROUND.

-DEBRA'S RIGHT.

IT'S GOING TO BE A LOVE

LETTER TO YOU.

NARRATOR: BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE

IS A STORIED FRANCHISE WHICH

HAS ENDURED A TURBULENT 2011

SEASON, YET SOMEHOW MANAGES TO

COME OUT ON TOP.

CURRENTLY RANKED NUMBER TWO IN

THE NATION, THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

HAVE WON 10 STRAIGHT

GAMES SINCE LOSING

THEIR OPENER AT HOME.

HOW DID THEY MANAGED TO PULL

THEMSELVES OUT OF THE ASHES

AND SALVAGE WHAT EARLY ON SEEMED

TO BE A LOST SEASON?

HAS IT BEEN THE EMERGENCE OF

JUNIOR QUARTERBACK ALEX MORAN?

HAS IT BEEN AGING LAME DUCK

LEGEND MARTY DANIELS?

OR HAS IT BEEN THE ACQUISITION

OF HIGHLY TOUTED OFFENSIVE

COORDINATOR MARCUS GILDAY, THE

MAN WHO AFFECTIONATELY CALLS

HIMSELF "THE GENIUS?"

YOU DECIDE.

WELCOME TO ONE WEEK AT

BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE.

[BELL RINGING]

-UH, POPCORN'S READY?

[ REV THEORY'S "HELL YEAH"

PLAYS ]

CAN YOU FEEL THAT?

YOU BETTER HOLD ON.

THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY.

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ HELL, YEAH ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

NARRATOR: THE SUN RISES ON A NEW

WEEK FOR THE 10-AND-1 BMS

MOUNTAIN GOATS.

COACH MARTY DANIELS IS THE

SECOND WINNINGEST COACH IN

COLLEGE FOOTBALL HISTORY AND

QUICKLY CLOSING IN ON JOE

PATERNO'S ALL TIME

RECORD FOR WINS.

-IS THIS OK?

IS THIS IN THE WAY?

INDIVIDUAL ACHIEVEMENT MEANS

VERY LITTLE TO ME COMPARED TO

WHAT WE ACCOMPLISH AS A

TEAM AND AS A FAMILY.

ALTHOUGH IT WOULD BE REALLY

NICE TO KICK JOE PA'S ASS.

NOT PHYSICALLY, OF COURSE.

I MEAN, HE'S VERY SHORT.

-HIKE, HIKE, HIKE!

MARTY DANIELS (OFFSCREEN): WE'VE

GOT A GREAT, YOUNG TEAM

WITH A BRIGHT FUTURE

AHEAD OF US.

NARRATOR: BUT THE QUESTION

EVERYONE IS ASKING IS WILL THE

FUTURE OF BMS INCLUDE

COACH DANIELS?

-KEEP IT UP, BOYS!

I KNOW IT'S HOT OUT HERE.

KEEP IT UP!

NARRATOR: OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR

MARCUS GILDAY HAS

BEEN MAKING WAVES WITH HIS

HIGH-POWERED OFFENSE, WHICH IS

NOW RANKED NUMBER THREE

IN THE COUNTRY.

-MOVE THE LEGS!

MOVE YOUR LEGS!

-I THINK THIS TEAM NEEDED A SHOT

IN THE ARM, AND MY MIND

WAS THE SYRINGE.

MY KNOWLEDGE WAS THE MEDICINE.

I'M THRILLED TO BE CONSIDERED

THE FUTURE OF THIS STORIED

PROGRAM, AND I'M POSITIVE THAT

I WILL HAVE NOTHING BUT

SUCCESS HERE.

ESPECIALLY WITH THE SUPPORT

OF MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.

-IT'S A CHARMING

LITTLE SCHOOL.

-YEAH.

-EVERYONE IS SO, SO NICE.

IT'S NOT QUITE STANFORD,

BUT WHAT IS, HMM?

HMM.

-WHO DO I CREDIT WITH THE

OFFENSIVE EXPLOSION WE'RE

EXPERIENCING THIS SEASON?

TWO PEOPLE.

OUR QUARTERBACK, ALEX

MORAN, AND ME.

BECAUSE I WAS THE ONE WHO CHOSE

TO START MORAN WHEN ALL

THE OTHERS DOUBTED HIM.

-FOCUS!

-AND WHEN I SAY "OTHERS,"

I MEAN COACHES.

AND WHEN I SAY "COACHES,"

I MEAN GILDAY.

-COME ON!

SLOPPY FOOTWORK!

[FOG HORN]

-ALL RIGHT ALEX, TIME TO

GET UP FOR PRACTICE!

LET'S GO, BUDDY!

(LAUGHING) CHRIST!

-ALEX MORAN, STARTING

QUARTERBACK, AND LOVING IT.

LIFE IS GOOD.

AM I RIGHT, LADIES?

LADIES?

-I TRY NOT TO LET THE SUCCESS

GO TO MY HEAD TOO MUCH, BUT

BEING THE STARTING QUARTERBACK

ON A JUGGERNAUT OFFENSE

DEFINITELY HAS ITS PERKS.

-SO MY SISTERS, THEY REALLY

WANT TO MEET YOU.

-OK.

-COULD I BRING THEM

BY TONIGHT?

-ARE THEY LEGAL?

-THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION.

ARE THEY LEGAL?

-OF COURSE THEY'RE LEGAL.

-WELL THEN, OF COURSE.

YEAH, SURE.

-THANK YOU FOR COMING.

THANK YOU.

-WHOOPS A DAISY, THAT

IS FOR ALEX.

-OH.

-YOU SAID IT'S FOR ME.

-IT'S PRETTY GOOD.

JUST JELLY AND STUFF

OVER THERE.

WANT TO THROW SOME

JELLY ON IT?

-YEAH!

AHH!

NARRATOR: NOT EVERYONE ON THIS

MOUNTAIN GOAT TEAM HAS HAD A

SMOOTH YEAR.

NUMBER 54, THAD CASTLE, THE

ALL-AMERICAN SENIOR

LINEBACKER, WAS SIDELINED BY

BOTH AN EARLY SUSPENSION AND A

CONCUSSION.

-GETTING SUSPENDED AND THEN

GETTING THAT C WORD WAS A REAL

WAKE UP CALL.

I REALIZED I NEEDED

TO START THINKING

ABOUT LIFE AFTER FOOTBALL.

SO AS A FALLBACK, I DECIDED

TO STUDY ACTING.

THAD CASTLE (OFFSCREEN): BURT

REYNOLDS, LAWRENCE TAYLOR,

BRIAN BOSWORTH, ALL GREAT

FOOTBALL PLAYERS TURNED

AMAZING ACTORS.

-AND WE MAY FORGET BECAUSE OF

ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS HE'S

DONE, BUT BUBBA SMITH WAS A REAL

DELIGHT IN THOSE POLICE

ACADEMY MOVIES.

-ARE YOU WATCHING THIS, LARRY?

YEAH!

OH!

I THINK I TORE A PEC.

-YEAH!

IT'S TIME TO GO, GREG.

IT'S TIME TO PRACTICE HARD!

-LOOKING GOOD, HARMON.

SMOKING!

HEY, NICE MUSCLES, LARRY.

SOMEBODY STOP ME!

HEY, HAVE YOU GOT

A-- A BIG, UM--

HEY, COME ON, GUYS!

WE GOT TO PLAY HARD!

LET'S GO, LET'S GO!

NARRATOR: THE FIRST DAY OF

PRACTICE BRINGS WITH IT A

PRESSURE COOKING HEATWAVE.

-GO, MORAN!

NO SLACKING OFF OUT THERE!

-HEY, COACH GILDAY.

WHAT'S WITH THE MAKEOVER?

DID YOU WIFE GET YOU A GIFT

CERTIFICATE AT THE GAP?

-NO.

THIS IS HAUTE COUTURE, COACH.

YOU LOOK GOOD, YOU FEEL GOOD.

AND YOU COACH GOOD.

YOU SHOULD GIVE IT A TRY, HUH?

-BLUE 16!

BLUE 16!

SET!

HUT!

-YEAH!

WAY TO GO, MORAN!

GREAT PASS!

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

-ALEX MORAN'S A GOOD KID.

BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU

COULD PROBABLY PUT IN A HALF

BLIND ORANGUTAN AS

QUARTERBACK.

MY SYSTEM WOULDN'T FAIL.

THIS COFFEE'S COLD, HUH?

-SLOPPY, MORAN.

REAL SLOPPY.

I KNOW IT'S HOT OUT, BUT GET

YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!

ALEX MORAN (OFFSCREEN): YEAH,

COACH GILDAY CAN BE TOUGH ON

ME, BUT THAT JUST COMES

WITH THE TERRITORY.

IT'S JUST IMPORTANT FOR ME TO

KEEP MY EYES ON THE PRIZE.

RIGHT, GIRLS?

-LET'S GO, PRETTY BOY!

KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!

-BLUE 16!

SET!

HUT!

-WHAT ARE YOU, HUNG OVER?

TAKE A LAP.

A LAP, NOW!

GO!

GO!

SECOND TEAM!

ARE YOU CATCHING THIS?

SLOPPY FEET.

KEEP RUNNING!

-THE TRUTH IS, THESE KIDS

NEED DISCIPLINE.

YOU KNOW, I REALLY

BELIEVE THEY--

THEY WANT TO BE PUSHED

TO THEIR LIMIT.

AND THEN GOOD STUFF HAPPENS--

-HARMON!

HARMON!

-WHAT THE HELL?

-OK, MAKE WAY!

CLEAR OUT!

THIS IS HEAT EXHAUSTION.

I'M GOING TO COOL

DOWN HIS CORE.

TAKE HIS PANTS OFF.

-HEY, YOU REALLY DON'T NEED

TO FILM THIS, ALL RIGHT?

-WHERE YOU GOING TO

PUT THAT ROD?

-HOLD HIS LEG UP.

STAND BACK.

-WHAT ARE YOU--

-OH!

[GROANS]

-OH, GOD!

-HEY, I SAID DON'T FILM THIS!

GET AWAY.

MOVE OUT OF THE WAY.

-YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT, SON.

YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS.

NARRATOR: AFTER A ROCKY START

TO THE WEEK, THE MOUNTAIN

GOATS PREPARE FOR THEIR UPCOMING

GAME AGAINST EMERTON

U.

-IT'S A LITTLE SURPRISE, BUT

THE WHOLE ICICLE UP THE ASS

TRICK, YOU KNOW, IT'S A LITTLE--

LITTLE ARCHAIC.

I'M MORE OF A SMELLING SALTS

KIND OF GUY, YOU KNOW?

-SO THEN THE ICICLE WENT UP MY

ASS, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I'M

FLOATING IN AN ETHEREAL LIGHT.

THAT'S WHEN I HEARD MY COUSIN

DENNIS' VOICE TELLING ME IT

WASN'T MY TIME.

-IS YOUR COUSIN DEAD?

-NOPE.

THAT'S THE WEIRD THING.

ALSO, HE LOST HIS VOICE

IN A PENCIL FACTORY

ACCIDENT LAST YEAR.

SO, DOUBLE WEIRD.

-WOW.

THAT SOUNDS AMAZING.

-IT WAS.

BETTER THAN ANY DRUG

I'VE EVER HAD.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT.

-OK.

-MORAN.

-YEAH?

-I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY PUTTING

YOURSELF OUT THERE EVERY DAY,

THE NATIONAL SPOTLIGHT BLINDING

YOUR EYEBALLS.

I'VE SEEN IT DESTROY TOUGHER

MEN THAN BOTH OF US.

BUT I'M HERE TO TELL YOU

THERE'S HOPE, BROTHER.

WE HAVE TO--

WE HAVE TO, UH--

LINE!

-"LEAD THESE MEN WITH HUMILITY

AND COURAGE." -SHIT!

LET ME TRY THAT AGAIN.

MORAN.

-YEAH.

-I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY PUTTING

YOURSELF OUT THERE EVERY DAY,

THE NATIONAL SPOTLIGHT BLINDING

YOUR EYEBALLS.

I'VE SEEN IT DESTROY--

NARRATOR: LIKE GENERALS

PREPARING FOR WAR, THE BMS

COACHES KNOW THAT STRATEGY

AND PREPARATION

ARE THE KEYS TO VICTORY.

MARTY DANIELS (OFFSCREEN):

YOU KNOW, I

LOVE STRATEGY MEETINGS.

IT'S A TIME TO LEARN ABOUT YOUR

OPPONENT, TO FIND OUT

WAYS TO TAKE AWAY ANY ADVANTAGES

THEY HAVE.

-WE KNOW EMERTON IS GOING TO

ATTACK US FROM THE INSIDE ON

BOTH OFFENSE AND DEFENSE.

WE ALSO KNOW THIS GAME IS

GOING TO BE WON IN THE

TRENCHES.

-I DIDN'T NOTICE ANYTHING

DIFFERENT ABOUT MARTY'S LOOK.

HE ALWAYS DRESSES THAT WAY.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, HE'S

A VERY HIP GUY.

-NOW WATCH THIS, RIGHT HERE.

RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THERE!

LET ME RUN IT BACK.

IT'S NOT WORKING.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I'LL GET IT FOR YA.

MARTY DANIELS (OFFSCREEN): OF

COURSE I DEAL WITH PRESSURE,

BECAUSE IT COMES WITH THE JOB.

BUT IT DOESN'T COME FROM

ANY OF MY GILL DAYS.

-HONEY, YOU SAID GILL DAYS.

-DID I?

OH, I MEANT COACHES.

THE POINT IS I DON'T FEEL ANY

PRESSURE, EXCEPT THE PRESSURE

I PUT ON MYSELF TO

BE A WINNER.

-ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I

NOTICED WHEN I ARRIVED AT BMS

WAS A LACK OF TECHNOLOGY IN

THE COACHING DEPARTMENT.

-AS YOU CAN SEE, EMERTON'S

DEFENSE, 18% MORE SUCCESSFUL

STOPPING RUNS TO THE LEFT.

-NO SHIT.

THEIR BEST DEFENSIVE PLAYER

IS THEIR LEFT END.

-YOU DON'T NEED STARTS

TO KNOW THAT.

-SABERMETRICS, COACH.

WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY.

SO AS I WAS SAYING, EMERTON IS

MOST VULNERABLE RIGHT HERE.

[CHEERS]

-WHAT THE HELL!

WHAT THE-- WHO DID THIS?

THAT'S MY WIFE , YOU MORONS!

WHO THE HELL DID THIS?

WHO IN THE HELL DID THIS!

THIS IS NOT FUNNY!

HUH?

HUH?

COME ON.

HEY, DID YOU DO THIS, MORAN?

OK.

EVERYBODY UP!

OUTSIDE!

[LAUGHTER]

-RIGHT NOW!

-(LAUGHING)

MISS TITS.

-NOT SO FUNNY NOW,

IS IT, BOYS?

-LOOK, I UNDERSTAND.

PRANKS CAN BUILD CAMARADERIE

IN A TEAM.

I GET THAT, ALL RIGHT?

BUT THERE IS A LINE THAT

IS CROSSED WHEN

IT COMES TO MY WIFE.

-FUNNY LITTLE JOKE YOU HAD

TO PLAY ON MY WIFE!

-NEBRASKA CAN BE A VERY STRANGE

AND OVERWHELMING PLACE

FOR A YOUNG WOMAN TO GROW UP.

RIGHT?

HONEY?

HUH?

-I MEAN, I'M NOT SAYING IT WAS

ME, BUT MY BEST FRIEND HERE

DOES HAPPEN TO BE A FAN OF

REGIONAL BREAST COMPETITIONS.

-AND I HAPPEN TO HAVE A

PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY WHEN IT

COMES TO BOOBS.

-SO--

-UH, MISS.

HEFTY GUMDROPS, 2003.

AND I'M RIGHT AGAIN.

SO--

-COME ON IN.

NARRATOR: AFTER SEVERAL TENSE

DAYS OF PRACTICE, THE TEAM

DECIDES TO LET OFF SOME STEAM

AT THE GOAT HOUSE.

-THIS IS A PRETTY TYPICAL NIGHT

HERE AT BMS. YOU KNOW?

HI, AGAIN.

YOU KNOW, WE WORK HARD,

BUT WE PLAY HARD, TOO.

[CHANTING]

HEAT EXHAUSTION!

[CHEERING]

-LARRY, GET HIS PANTS!

[GROANS]

-I--

I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

-HARMON DID NOT LIE.

THAT WAS BETTER THAN ANY DRUG

I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE!

I WAS--

I WAS TRIPPING BALLS!

I SAW MY WHOLE LIFE FLASH

BEFORE MY EYES.

I MIGHT HAVE TO MAKE

SOME PHONE CALLS.

-LET'S SEE WHAT'S GOING

ON IN MY ROOM, HUH?

SHIT!

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

IN HERE?

HEY.

EXCUSE ME.

DID YOU SEE ANYBODY

COME IN HERE?

NO?

-SOMETHING TELLS ME OUR

OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR DOESN'T

APPRECIATE MY SENSE OF HUMOR--

AS MUCH AS THE STATE OF NEBRASKA

APPRECIATED HIS

WIFE'S BREASTS.

-MORAN?

I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR ROOM.

EVERYBODY LIKED IT.

I'M SORRY.

-DID HE JUST DO A SCENE

FROM THE MOVIE--

-TOP GUN?

PROBABLY THE BEST

MOVIE EVER MADE.

I OFTEN SEE MYSELF AS

A THIN VAL KILMER.

NARRATOR: IT'S THE FINAL DAY OF

PRACTICE AFTER A TUMULTUOUS

WEEK FOR THE MOUNTAIN GOATS.

WILL MARTY DANIELS BE ABLE TO

FOCUS HIS TEAM ON WINNING

SATURDAY'S GAME?

-WELL, TO BE HONEST,

THE WEEK HAS GONE

BETTER THAN I EXPECTED.

-NOW, IF YOU LOOK AT THIS PLAY,

WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO GT

IS A SEAL HERE AND A SEAL HERE,

AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO

RUN IT RIGHT IN THE ALLEY.

[LAUGHTER]

-AHEM.

-UH, SO OUR LEFT TACKLE'S

GOING TO COME ACROSS--

-EVERYTHING IS COMING

TOGETHER NICELY.

I FEEL GOOD, I LOOK GOOD, AND

I'M NOT WORRIED ONE BIT.

-NEITHER AM I. EVERYTHING'S

UNDER CONTROL--

-OW!

GOD!

-I'M SORRY.

-COME ON!

ARE YOU GUYS MEN?

MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!

-(LAUGHING) NO WAY!

-MORAN!

COME HERE.

HI.

-HI.

-TAKE IT OFF, RIGHT NOW.

-THIS IS PRACTICE.

IT'S MY PRACTICE JERSEY.

-YOU REALLY WANT TO

DO THIS, MORAN?

YOU WANT TO GO TO

THE MAT WITH ME?

-I GUESS SO.

-YOU TAKE THAT TAPE OFF YOUR

BACK RIGHT NOW, OR YOU CAN

PUSH THAT BLOCKING SLED THE

LENGTH OF THE FIELD.

-I HAVEN'T HIT A BLOCKING SLED

SINCE HIGH SCHOOL, AND I'M

FEELING A LITTLE NOSTALGIC.

-(LAUGHING) MISS.

TITS!

-I DIDN'T WALK AWAY FROM EIGHT

YEARS AT STANFORD TO TAKE SHIT

FROM A PUNK LIKE YOU.

-I'M VERY OPTIMISTIC ABOUT OUR

CHANCES AGAINST EMERTON.

WE'VE BEATEN THEM--

-I'M PRETTY OPTIMISTIC, TOO.

-WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING

A SHIRT?

MARCUS GILDAY (OFFSCREEN):

HIT HARDER, YOU PUSSIES!

HIT IT HARDER, SMART GUY!

COME ON!

HIT IT HARD, MORAN!

-THIS, UM--

YOU SEE, WE'RE LIKE A FAMILY,

AND EVERY FAMILY HAS

DIFFERENCES.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES US STRONGER.

[GRUNTING]

-TAKE THE TAPE OFF YOUR BACK!

-I CAN'T DO THAT, COACH.

THAT WOULD BE DISRESPECTFUL TO

THE PEOPLE OF NEBRASKA AND THE

FINE JUDGEMENT OF THE MISS.

TITS COMPETITION COMMITTEE.

[GRUNTING]

-YOU KNOW MY WIFE WON'T EVEN

TALK TO ME AFTER THAT STUNT

YOU PULLED LAST NIGHT?

-IS THAT WHY YOU TRASHED

MY ROOM?

-I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

TALKING ABOUT.

[GRUNTING]

-THAT'S PRETTY CHILDISH,

COACH.

HE'S MY QUARTERBACK.

-I DIDN'T TRASH ANYONE'S

ROOM, HARMON!

-I TRASHED THE LITTLE

PRICK'S ROOM.

I ONLY DID THE MISS.

TITS PAGEANT ONE TIME,

AND YEAH, I WON!

I HATE THIS TOWN.

I JUST WANT TO GO BACK

TO STANFORD.

THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE

A GUCCI STORE HERE.

NO GUCCI.

CAN I GET WHIPPED CREAM?!

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

-I FELT LIKE GILDAY HAD CROSSED

THE LINE WITH ALEX.

I DIDN'T ALMOST DIE, HAVE COUSIN

DENNIS WHISPER ETERNAL

TRUTHS IN MY EAR, AND GET AN

ICICLE SHOVED UP MY ASS TO SEE

MY QUARTERBACK TREATED

THIS WAY.

-OH, NO, NO.

GET AWAY FROM HIM!

-HEY, COACH!

-HE DOESN'T GET ANY HELP!

-WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CREATE

SOME TURNOVER, BECAUSE

DEFENSIVELY--

-EXACTLY.

[SHOUTING]

-WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

GOD DAMN IT!

-YOU'RE NOTHING!

YOU'RE NOTHING WITHOUT ME!

YOU'RE NOTHING WITHOUT

MY SYSTEM!

YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A--

-A WHAT, HUH?

A HALF BLIND ORANGUTAN?

YEAH, THE CREW TOLD

ME WHAT YOU SAID.

-GET ON THE SLED!

-NOPE.

-GET BACK ON THE SLED!

GET BACK ON THE SLED!

GET BACK ON THE SLED!

GET--

YOU GET--

-IS EVERYTHING OK?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

-GET BACK ON THE--

WHAT--

-OH!

-WHOA!

-OK, WE GOT ANOTHER ONE.

TAKE HIS PANTS OFF.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO

COOL DOWN HIS CORE.

-HEY, HE LOOKS PRETTY BAD.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO USE

TWO OF THOSE.

-GOT YOU.

BACK AWAY.

-YOU'RE FILMING THIS, RIGHT?

[SHOUTS AND GROANS]

-LUCKY BASTARD.

-SOMETIMES I LONG FOR THE DAYS

WHERE A COACH COULD JUST

STRANGLE A PLAYER, NOBODY

WOULD BAT AN EYE.

THE ICICLE WAS EMBARRASSING.

IT WAS ALSO STRANGELY

ENLIGHTENING.

LET'S JUST SAY THIS.

THERE IS A GOD.

HE'S 6' 5", AND HE

LIKES TO GAMBLE.

NARRATOR: AND SO THE SUN SETS ON

A WEEK OF PRACTICE AT BLUE

MOUNTAIN STATE.

WHO DESERVES CREDIT FOR THEIR

INCREDIBLE SEASON?

HELL IF I KNOW.

-WELL, THAT WASN'T SO BAD.

-YEAH.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN MUCH WORSE.

-YEAH, YOU COULD HAVE HAD THAT

ICICLE SHOVED UP YOUR ASS.

-I WONDER IF THE TRAINER KEEPS

THOSE AROUND HERE?