Original subtitles

[DEBRA]

THE HALL OF FAME.

WOO!

IN 24 HOURS, MY MAN'S GONNA BE

INDUCTED INTO THE COLLEGE

FOOTBALL HALL OF FAME.

-I GOTTA TELL YOU, SWEETHEART,

OF ALL THE CRAP THAT THEY'LL

HONOR ME FOR THIS WEEK,

WHAT I'M LOOKING

FORWARD TO MOST IS TONIGHT.

A NICE QUIET DINNER,

JUST THE TWO OF US.

-AW, YOU'VE GOT THE HALL

OF FAME GLOW, BABY.

-YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HAS THAT

HALL OF FAME GLOW?

[DEBRA CHUCKLES]

-THAD?

-I WAS GONNA SAY MY DICK.

-MARTY, LOOK OUT!

[THAD PANTS]

-ARE YOU CRAZY?

-COACH, THANK GOD YOU STOPPED.

THERE'S BEEN A MURDER

AT THE GOAT HOUSE.

WE GOTTA GET THERE QUICK.

IT'S SO BAD, COACH.

HE GOT DONNIE WITH

HIS CLAW GLOVE.

I AM NOT LYING.

-A MURDER?

-I JUST SAW YOU WINK

IN THE MIRROR.

HE JUST WINKED AT YOU.

DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT THIS?

-NO, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT THIS.

LET'S JUST TAKE HIM HOME, AND

IF HE'S ON SOMETHING, HE CAN

SLEEP IT OFF.

-YEAH.

-WE HAVE A RESERVATION

IN 20 MINUTES.

-WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, LEAVE

HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?

-HURRY, COACH.

LET'S HOPE WE'RE NOT TOO LATE

TO CATCH THE MURDERER.

-HEY.

HEY, THAD.

COME HERE.

COME HERE.

I'M GONNA ASK YOU POINT BLANK.

IS THERE A SURPRISE PARTY

WAITING FOR ME INSIDE?

BECAUSE THERE IS, THERE

WILL BE A MURDER.

-NO.

IT'S A MURDERER.

-LET'S JUST GO INSIDE.

-I THINK HE'S RIGHT IN HERE!

[PEOPLE YELLING "SURPRISE!"]

[COACH DANIELS CHUCKLES]

-AW, SURPRISE, BABY.

-I'M REAL SORRY I HAD TO SCARE

YOU SO BAD JUST TO GET YOU IN

HERE, COACH.

WILL YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?

[ REV THEORY'S "HELL YEAH"

PLAYS ]

CAN YOU FEEL THAT?

YOU BETTER HOLD ON.

THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY.

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ HELL, YEAH ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

-MASCOT!

ITINERARY.

LET'S HEAR IT.

-GOT IT, GOT IT.

8:50, WE GET A GROUP HUG.

9 O'CLOCK, THE GLEE CLUB

PERFORMS. 9:15, WE GOT POTATO

SACK RACES.

9:30, WE'VE GOT A DANCE BY THE

CHEERLEADERS, WITH A SPECIAL

GUEST APPEARANCE BY MYSELF.

10 O'CLOCK, WE GOT SOME

FIRE JUGGLERS.

AT 11 O'CLOCK--

-THE GRAND FINALE.

MY 45-MINUTE VIDEO

TRIBUTE TO COACH.

IF YOU START THAT VIDEO EVEN ONE

MINUTE LATE, I SWEAR I'LL

DROP-KICK YOU OUT OF THE GOAT

HOUSE AND BACK TO THE DORMS.

-FAIR ENOUGH, FAIR ENOUGH.

LISTEN, I WAS WONDERING IF WE

SHOULD PLAY SOME POLKAS.

YOU KNOW, THE OLD GUYS LOVE--

-I SAID NO POLKAS.

-RIGHT.

BUT, UH, OLD GUYS LOVE POLKAS,

SO IF WE PLAY SOME POLKAS TO

GET THE GUYS--

-I SAID WE'RE NOT DOING

POLKAS, MASCOT!

AND RELAX, BUDDY.

JUST HAVE FUN WITH IT.

-THIS IS HELL.

DANIELS DOESN'T WASTE

ENOUGH OF OUR TIME

DURING FOOTBALL PRACTICE?

AND NOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE

UP A, A PERFECTLY GOOD PARTY

NIGHT DROOLING OVER HIM AND

LISTENING TO SHITTY MUSIC.

-OH, I DON'T KNOW, I KINDA

LIKE THE MUSIC

AND THE JAZZ FLUTES.

-COULD HAVE SOMETHING TO DO

WITH THE ACID YOU TOOK EARLIER.

-I INVITED TWINS TO THIS

THING, AND THIS IS WHAT

THEY'RE GONNA HAVE

TO WALK INTO?

-YOU GOT TWINS?

-YEAH.

-CAN I HAVE ONE?

-WELL, IF THEY STICK AROUND.

WHAT TIME IS THIS PARTY

OVER, ANYWAY?

-THAD SAID NOBODY LEAVES

UNTIL THE SUN COMES UP.

WOO, WOO, WOO!

-OH.

OH, NO HE'S NOT.

HE IS ON.

-THIS IS GREAT.

GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS.

HEY HARRY, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

-HERE YOU GO.

-THANK YOU DARLING.

-YOU'RE WELCOME.

YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?

-YEAH, THIS IS, UH, REALLY--

YOU INVITED MICKEY O'TOOLE?

ARE YOU CRAZY?

-HE WASN'T ON THE GUEST LIST.

-HE'D RATHER SEE ME DEAD THAN

IN THE HALL OF FAME.

-MARTY.

HEY.

-MICKEY.

I'M GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

-ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

MY GODDAMN PROTEGE MAKING IT

INTO THE HALL OF FAME.

COME ON, I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED

THIS FOR A DRINK.

-I'M JUST SURPRISED, BECAUSE THE

LAST TIME I SAW YOU WAS AT

YOUR RETIREMENT PARTY.

-EARLY RETIREMENT THAT YOU

FORCED ME INTO WHEN YOU STOLE

MY HEAD COACHING JOB.

WOW, IT'S BEEN THAT

LONG, MARTY?

-WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE A PROBLEM

HERE TONIGHT, ARE WE

MICKEY?

-COME ON.

PROBLEM?

I'M WAY OVER THAT.

NO, I AM HERE AS

A PROUD MENTOR.

THAT'S IT.

-WELL, THAT'S GREAT, MICKEY.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

-WHAT?

-YOU LOOK AMAZING FOR 80.

-WOW, THANKS DEBRA.

YOU LOOK TERRIBLE FOR 18.

-MM.

[DEBRA CHUCKLES POLITELY]

-AH.

[ALEX CLEARS HIS THROAT]

-NIKKI, KIKI, HI.

-WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?

-WHAT?

-WE WERE PROMISED A LEGENDARY

RAGER, ALEX.

-OH, AH.

WELL, THE RAGER IS ACTUALLY

GONNA BE UP IN MY ROOM,

STARTING IN ABOUT 30 MINUTES.

SO WHY DON'T YOU GUYS JUST

HEAD UPSTAIRS AND I'LL BE

RIGHT BEHIND YA.

[TWIN]

LET'S GET

BLACKOUT DRUNK TONIGHT.

-COME HERE.

-I REALLY DON'T WANT TO.

-GUYS, THIS IS ALEX MORAN.

-HI.

-THE KID REMINDS ME

OF TOMMY MCKEAN.

DO YOU REMEMBER TOMMY MCKEAN?

-SURE DO.

LAZIEST SON OF A BITCH

I EVER MET.

-WHAT?

-HEY ALEX, COACH EVER TELL YOU

ABOUT THE TIME HE GOT PUNCHED

IN THE FACE BY MICK JAGGER?

-YOU GOT PUNCHED IN THE

FACE BY MICK JAGGER?

WHY?

-BECAUSE MARTY SLEPT

WITH HIS WIFE.

-WHAT?

YOU SLEPT WITH MICK

JAGGER'S WIFE?

-IT WASN'T HIS WIFE

AT THE TIME.

THEY WERE JUST DATING.

-HE WAS JUST A LITTLE GUY,

BUT YOU WENT DOWN

PRETTY HARD, MARTY.

-I HAD TO GO DOWN.

HE WAS MICK JAGGER.

[COACH CHUCKLES]

-AND FINALLY, COACH DANIELS IS

SO STRONG, HE CAN BENCH PRESS

MY FROWN INTO A SMILE.

AND THAT IS WHY COACH DANIELS IS

THE GREATEST MAN EVER BORN.

AND NOW FOR SOME FUN

FACTS ABOUT COACH.

HE LIKES GOLF, STEAKS,

AND HAGGAR SLACKS.

-I'M GONNA BE HONEST WITH YOU.

THE SPEECH IS GOOD.

IT'S GOOD.

BUT ASIDE FROM THE HAGGAR

SLACKS, THOSE

FACTS AREN'T THAT FUN.

-I KNEW IT.

I GOTTA GET SOME BETTER

FUN FACTS.

IT'S 8:30.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST

SITTING THERE?

-YOU TOLD ME TO COME IN--

-GO TAKE THE PARTY UP A NOTCH!

-OK, ALL RIGHT.

[RECORDED MALE VOICE]

MAR-MAR-MARTY DANIELS,

HALL OF FAMER.

[SLIDE WHISTLE]

[TRAIN WHISTLE]

BRINGIN' OUT THE

J-J-J-JAMS.

-LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME

TO A NIGHT HONORING THE

GREATEST COACH IN THE WORLD,

MARTY DANIELS!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

[SAMMY]

AND NOW,

THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN

WAITING FOR.

PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE,

MARTY DANIELS' EX-WIFE AND

CURRENT GIRLFRIEND, DEBRA!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

-[SINGING SULTRILY]

YOU'RE MY HALL OF FAMER,

COACH.

MY HALL OF FAMER, COACH.

YOU'RE MY HALL OF FAMER,

ONE SEXY FOOTBALL GAMER.

YOU'RE MY HALL OF

FAMER, COACH.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

-WOW!

-SHE'S SOMETHING, HUH, MICKEY?

[MICKEY CHUCKLES]

-MARTY, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME

IN YEARS THAT I'VE BEEN ABLE

TO SUSTAIN A BONER FOR

MORE THAN 30 SECONDS.

[TECHNO MUSIC]

-SUCK IT IN AND LET YOUR LEGS

DO THE TALKING, SAMMY.

WOO!

ALL RIGHT.

-SO MARTY GETS DRAFTED

BY THE VIKINGS.

FIRST THING HE DOES, BUYS A

BRIGHT PURPLE PORSCHE AND

INVITES THE DEAN'S DAUGHTERS

TO GO FOR A SPIN.

-WHAT?

-THE NEXT DAY, I'M WALKING

ACROSS THE CAMPUS AND I SEE

THE PORSCHE SITTIN' ON

THE QUAD, ON FIRE.

-OH HO HO HO.

-TURNS OUT THE DEAN DIDN'T

APPRECIATE MARTY TURNING HIS

TEENAGE DAUGHTERS ON TO THE

ART OF POLE DANCING.

-THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

-HO-HOLY SHIT!

NO WAY!

-MR. O'TOOLE?

-YEAH?

-MY SPEECH IS COMING UP.

I NEED SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT

COACH AND I NEED 'EM NOW.

-YOU GOT SOME PLACE TO

GO THAT'S QUIET?

-YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS.

-ALL RIGHT.

-HEY, COACH.

YOU'RE, UH, MISSING YOUR

PARTY IN THERE, MAN.

-I'VE BEEN TO ENOUGH PARTIES.

-HEY.

WAS IT TRUE, ALL THOSE STORIES

THOSE GUYS HAVE BEEN

TELLING ABOUT YOU?

-THEY LIKE TO EXAGGERATE.

-OH.

-BUT YEAH, IT'S MOSTLY

ALL TRUE.

-RIGHT.

WHAT'S THE COOLEST THING

YOU EVER DONE?

-CHARLIE'S ANGELS.

-YOU WERE ON "CHARLIE'S

ANGELS?"

-NO, I SLEPT WITH CHARLIE'S

ANGELS.

-WHAT?

ALL OF 'EM?

-NOT SIMULTANEOUSLY.

WELL, TWO WERE SIMULTANEOUS.

THE SMART ONE WAS JUST A ONE

NIGHT STAND IN VEGAS.

IT WAS WILD.

-I HAD NO IDEA YOU

WERE THIS COOL.

-YOU KNOW, MORAN.

COLLEGE IS FUN.

BUT WAIT 'TIL YOU

GET TO THE PROS.

-YEAH?

-YOU LIKE BEING ABLE TO

PICK ANY GIRL YOU

WANT OUT OF THE PARTY?

-YEAH.

-IMAGINE WHAT IT'S LIKE BEING

ABLE TO PICK ANY GIRL YOU WANT

OUT OF A STACK OF MAGAZINES.

I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF

MY OPPORTUNITY.

I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT

YOU DO THE SAME.

-HOW'S THIS FOR OPPORTUNITY?

I GOT A PRIVATE BAR AND A COUPLE

OF HOT TWINS UPSTAIRS.

-NOW, I REMEMBER MARTY HAD THIS

LITTLE RED CONVERTIBLE.

AND GUESS WHAT HE CALLED IT?

RED.

[LAUGHS]

-A CONVERTIBLE NAMED RED.

THAT'S HILARIOUS.

THESE ARE JUST THE FUN FACTS

I'VE BEEN NEEDING.

-EVERYTHING MARTY KNOWS ABOUT

COACHING, HE LEARNED FROM ME.

-EXAMPLE?

-WHEN MARTY WAS PLAYING FOR ME

HERE AT BMS, HE CAME TO ME ONE

DAY AND HE SAID HE WANTED

TO TURN PRO

AFTER HIS JUNIOR YEAR.

I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.

THE MAN'S MY BEST PLAYER

AND CAPTAIN OF MY TEAM.

-HOLD ON, HOLD ON, SLOW DOWN.

I GOT TO WRITE ALL

OF THIS DOWN.

-ANYWAY, ONE DAY, AFTER A BIG

GAME, I HIRED A COUPLE OF CALL

GIRLS TO ACCIDENTALLY

BUMP INTO HIM.

THEY TAKE HIM UP TO A HOTEL,

GET HIM ALL COKED UP.

-COKED UP?

OH MY GOSH.

-AND AFTERWARDS, THEY TAKE

THEM OUT ON THEIR BOAT.

WHICH IS ACTUALLY

MY BOAT, RIGHT?

AND THEY BANG HIS BRAINS

OUT ALL NIGHT LONG.

-IT'S GENIUS.

-NOW COME THE MORNING,

THEY WAKE UP.

WITHOUT WAKING MARTY UP, THEY

LEAVE, CALL THE COPS, AND

REPORT THE BOAT'S STOLEN.

NEXT MORNING, COPS SWARMING

ALL OVER THE PLACE.

THEY BUST MARTY FOR

DRUGS, FOR THEFT.

AND OF COURSE, NO NFL TEAM'S

GONNA TOUCH HIM NOW.

SO GUESS WHAT?

HE COMES CRAWLING BACK

TO ME AND BMS. TA-DA!

-THAT'S HILARIOUS.

THE EXACT SAME THING

HAPPENED TO ME.

-GET OUT OF HERE.

-I'M SERIOUS.

-LIKE I SAID, EVERYTHING MARTY

LEARNED ABOUT COACHING, HE

LEARNED FROM ME.

[THAD INHALING DEEPLY]

-COCAINE!

I LOVE BOATS!

WAIT.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[GUN BEING COCKED]

-ARE THERE ANY DRUGS

ON THIS BOAT?

-NO.

YOU'RE NOT SAYING THAT

COACH SET ME UP?

-NO, NO, NO.

A LITTLE.

I MEAN, COME ON, LET'S NOT

KID OURSELVES, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN, WHATEVER MARTY

WANTS, MARTY GETS.

I MEAN, LOOK WHAT HAPPENED AFTER

HIS NFL CAREER WAS OVER.

HE COMES HERE, STEALS MY JOB

FROM RIGHT UNDER MY ASS.

I GUESS HE, UH, KIND OF GOT EVEN

FOR THAT BOAT THING, HUH?

-YOU KNOW, IT LOOKS LIKE

YOU WERE THE REAL

VICTIM HERE, THAD.

AND I'M GONNA TALK TO THE

ATHLETIC BOARD AND

SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

-HOLY SHIT.

-YOU EVER BEEN IN

THE WHITE HOUSE?

-A COUPLE OF TIMES.

-YOU EVER HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE

IN THE WHITE HOUSE?

-SECRET SERVICE ASKED ME

NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

-[TWIN #1]

COOL.

-THAT'S A YES!

-[TWIN #2]

WOW.

-HOLY SHIT.

MORE STORIES.

RIGHT NOW.

GO.

-YOU WANT TO HEAR SOME

REAL STORIES?

MY BUDDIES DOWNSTAIRS.

I FLEW THEM IN SO THAT I COULD

SHOW THEM UP DURING MY

ACCEPTANCE SPEECH

TOMORROW NIGHT.

-HM.

-IT'S NIGHTS LIKE THIS THAT

MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT THE

PERSON THAT YOU REALLY

ARE, MORAN.

-HM.

-I'VE HAD A FUN LIFE,

BUT I HAVEN'T ALWAYS

DONE THE RIGHT THING.

AND FOR EVERY GREAT NIGHT THAT

I'VE HAD, I'VE HAD JUST AS

MANY THAT I WISH I

COULD TAKE BACK.

-AW.

DON'T BE SAD.

-POOR BABY.

-THANKS, GIRLS.

-IS THAT REAL REGRET, OR ARE YOU

JUST LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY?

-A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH.

-GOD, THAT IS WHY YOU

ARE MY NEW HERO.

[RECORDED MALE VOICE]

LA-LA-LA-LADIES AND GENTS.

NOW FOR TONIGHT'S

M-M-MAIN EVENT.

A VIDEO TRIBUTE TO COACH

MAR-MAR-MARTY DANIELS, BY TEAM

CAPTAIN TH-TH-TH-THAD CASTLE.

THAD NARRATING: ITALY, 1910.

COACH DANIELS IS BORN

TO A POOR ITALIAN

FAMILY OF BUTTER CHURNERS.

[THAD SCREAMING IN

A WOMAN'S VOICE]

-MAMA MIA!

[THAD SCREAMS AGAIN]

-[ITALIAN ACCENT]

I WILL-A NAME

HIM-A COACH-A DANIELS.

[THAD MOANS]

OH, YES-A, MAMA MIA.

THAD NARRATING: AS COACH DANIELS

GREW OLDER, HIS MOTHER

SAW GREATNESS IN HIM.

-MAMA, MAMA.

WHY-A CAN'T I-A CHURN-A

BUTTER TOO?

I'M A STRONG-A BOY-A.

-AH,

YOU ARE A STRONG-A

BOY-A COACH-A DANIELS.

BUT-A BUTTER CHURNING IS-A

NO LIFE FOR A BOY

WITH-A YOUR-A POWERS.

YOU MUST-A LEAVE HERE AND GO

COACH-A THE FOOTBALL AT-A THE

BLUE-A MOUNTAIN-A STATE-A.

I WANT A BETTER-A LIFE-A.

-IS ANY OF THIS CLOSE

TO BEING TRUE?

i WANT A BETTER-A LIFE-A.

-I WAS BORN IN NEW JERSEY.

AND MY MOTHER WAS A SECRETARY.

-[IMITATING COACH DANIELS]

AS NEW HEAD COACH OF BMS

FOOTBALL, I NEED TO DRAFT THE

BEST PLAYERS IN THE WORLD.

THAT'S WHY TODAY, I, COACH

DANIELS, DRAFT CAPTAIN

LINEBACKER, THAD CASTLE.

-THAT'S A GOOD DRAFT, COACH.

-OH, THANK YOU, COACH,

THANK YOU.

I PROMISE I'LL PLAY

GOOD FOR YOU.

I'LL GIVE IT MY ALL EVERY DAY.

-YOU'RE NOT ONLY MY BEST

PLAYER, THAD.

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, TOO.

[LAUGHTER]

-TURN IT OFF!

NO!

IT'S ALL LIES!

COACH IS A LIAR AND

A BAD PERSON.

YOU SET ME UP WITH HOOKERS

AND DRUGS SO I'D PLAY

HERE ANOTHER YEAR.

I COULD BE PLAYING IN THE NFL

RIGHT NOW, BANGING HOTTER

SLOOTS AND MAKING A

BILLION DOLLARS.

WELL, GUESS WHAT?

I QUIT.

[GASPS]

-I'LL NEVER PLAY FOR YOU AND

YOUR LYING FACE AGAIN.

[POLKA MUSIC]

-POLKA!

EH?

COME ON.

-[SINGING]

COACH, COACH, COACH,

COACH, COACH, COACH,

COACH, COACH--

-COACH!

-[SINGING]

COACH, COACH,

COACH, COACH, COACH--

-HEY, BRO BEANS.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

-I'M MOVING 1,000 MILES

AWAY FROM HERE.

DO THEY HAVE FOOTBALL

IN CHINA?

-DON'T THINK SO, NO.

[DOOR OPENS]

-HEY, THAD.

LOOK, BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY RASH

DECISIONS, LET ME TELL YOU

ABOUT MICKEY O'TOOLE.

THAT SON OF A BITCH

IS OUT TO GET ME.

HE THINKS I STOLE HIS JOB

AND THIS IS HIS REVENGE.

AND HE KNOWS NOTHING WOULD HURT

ME MORE THAN TO LOSE YOU.

LOOK, AT LEAST GIVE ME

A CHANCE TO CLEAR

THIS WHOLE THING UP.

LET'S GO FIND MICKEY.

-YEAH.

-JON JON, HAVE YOU

SEEN MICKEY?

-HE WENT UPSTAIRS WITH DEBRA.

HE WAS MUTTERING SOMETHING ABOUT

GETTING REVENGE ON YOU.

-SON OF A BITCH!

-YOU KNOW, I KIND OF KNEW THAT

YOU'D COME AROUND SOONER OR

LATER, BABY.

-MARTY'S NOT ENOUGH

OF A MAN FOR ME.

-GET YOUR GODDAMN HANDS

OFF MY WIFE.

-OH MY GOSH!

MARTY, THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.

-MARTY, CALM DOWN, ALL RIGHT.

TAKE IT EASY.

RIGHT HAND, SHE CAME ON TO ME.

ALL RIGHT?

-REALLY?

WHY WOULD A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LIKE

DEBRA COME ON TO TO AN

OLD, WRINKLY PRICK

LIKE YOU, HUH?

-HEY, YOU DON'T LISTEN

TO HIM, THAD.

HE SET ME UP, JUST LIKE

HE DID TO YOU.

[DOOR BREAKING]

-WHOA, WHOA!

[SCREAMING]

-MR. O'TOOLE, PUT YOUR HANDS

ABOVE YOUR HEAD.

-HE'S GOT A GUN!

-FREEZE

-[MORAN]

OH!

OH.

JESUS, HE'S-- YOU'RE GONNA

GIVE HIM A HEART ATTACK.

-THAD, WHEN MICKEY SET

ME UP, I WAS FURIOUS.

BUT I WENT ON TO HAVE

A GREAT SENIOR YEAR.

AND I MADE MORE MONEY

BECAUSE OF IT.

EVEN IF I DID SET YOU UP--

WHICH I'M NOT SAYING I DID--

I DID IT TO STOP YOU FROM MAKING

THE BIGGEST MISTAKE

YOUR LIFE BY GOING PRO EARLY.

[POLICE OFFICER]

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

WE GOT WEED AND AN UNLICENSED

FIREARM.

-WHAT, ARE YOU GUYS

YOU MORONS?

CAN'T YOU FIGURE OUT SHE PLANTED

THIS SHIT ON ME?

[MICKEY GROANS]

-YOU KNOW WHAT, MICKEY?

-WHAT?

-YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT FOR 18.

MICKEY:

OH, VERY NICE.

VERY NICE, MARTY.

YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT?

-WOW.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT

JUST HAPPENED, BUT

I'M SURE IT WAS AMAZING.

-GOD, I WOULD BE HONORED

TO BE SCREWED OVER

BY A MAN LIKE THAT.

-TOTALLY.

-HERE YOU GO.

-COACH, BEFORE YOU GO.

THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE

BEEN THINKING ABOUT.

I TRUST THAT EVERYTHING YOU DO

IS WHAT'S BEST FOR THE TEAM.

AND EVEN IF YOU DID DO THOSE

HORRIBLE THINGS, IT'S ONLY

BECAUSE YOU KNOW I'M IMPORTANT

TO YOU AND ONE OF THE BEST

FOOTBALL PLAYERS ALIVE.

BUT...

I HAVE TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

-OK, THAD.

THIS ONE TIME.

THIS ONE TIME, I'M GONNA

LET YOU ASK ME.

-IS IT TRUE?

DID YOU SET ME UP?

-NO.

-I GUESS WE BOTH NEED A DRINK.

-YEAH.

♪♪