Original subtitles

-I'M SO SORRY.

I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU.

I CAN CHANGE.

I SWEAR.

PLEASE, TAKE ME BACK.

I LOVE YOU.

-LOOK, I READ THE MEDIA

REPORTS BUT I WANT TO

HEAR IT FROM YOU.

WHAT HAPPENED?

AND START WITH THE BOWL GAME,

AND I WANT THE TRUTH.

-OK.

I THOUGHT WE HAD THE TITLE ON

LOCK, COACH AND WHEN WE LOST,

I WAS SO SAD.

I COULDN'T EVEN TALK TO THE

REPORTERS AT MY LOCKER.

I WANT TO TALK TO EVERY REPORTER

IN THIS LOCKER ROOM.

I HAVE A LOT TO SAY.

THAT GAME WAS BULLSHIT.

THOSE REFS HAD IT OUT FOR

US FROM THE START.

-THAD, TELL ME, IS RADON

GOING TO BE OK?

-RADON MESSED UP HIS

SHOULDER AGAIN.

THAT'S ALL HAVE TO SAY.

-THAD, ONE MORE QUESTION, DO

YOU THINK HE'LL BE BACK?

-IS HE COMING BACK?

WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE,

A FUTURE TELLER?

AFTER THE GAME I WENT

STRAIGHT BACK TO THE

HOTEL TO GO TO BED.

DRUGS, DRUGS, DRUGS, DRUGS, HEY,

I'M LOOKING TO BUY DRUGS.

YOU GOT ANY DRUGS?

I JUST WANT TO BUY SOME DRUGS.

BUT THEN I GOT SIDETRACKED BY

THESE GIRLS THAT WANTED TO

INVITE ME TO THEIR ROOM

FOR A PIZZA PARTY.

-HEY.

-COCAINE, YEAH, BABY.

THAT'S WHO'S THE KING

OF FOOTBALL NOW.

MARTY DANIELS CAN

SUCK MY BALLS.

HE'S THE REASON WE LOST TODAY.

HE SHOULDN'T HAVE LET ME

TRY THAT 56-YARDER.

I'M GOING TO GO PRO.

I'M GOING TO BE A BILLIONAIRE.

LAST THING I REMEMBER, ONE OF

THE GIRLS ASKED ME IF I WANTED

TO SEE HER DAD'S BOAT.

I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY

CONVINCED ME.

I HATE BOATS.

-I LOVE BOATS.

THE NEXT MORNING I WOKE UP AND

THE SWEET GIRLS WERE GONE.

-ARE THERE ANY DRUGS

ON THIS BOAT?

-NO.

ONCE THE MEDIA STARTED SPREADING

THEIR LIES, I KNEW

NO NFL TEAM WAS GOING

TO TOUCH ME.

I NEVER DECLARED MYSELF

FOR THE DRAFT.

I AM STILL ELIGIBLE.

PLEASE, I'LL WORK SO HARD

FOR YOU, COACH.

I SWEAR.

FOOTBALL'S ALL I HAVE.

-YOU KNOW, IT LOOKS LIKE

YOU WERE THE REAL

VICTIM HERE, THAD.

-I WAS.

-AND I'M GOING TO TALK TO

THE ATHLETIC BOARD, AND

SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

-OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH COACH.

I LOVE YOU.

-LOOKS LIKE WE GOT

OUR DEFENSE BACK.

-THANK GOD FOR THAT BOY'S

LOVE OF COCAINE.

[ REV THEORY'S "HELL YEAH"

PLAYS ]

CAN YOU FEEL THAT?

YOU BETTER HOLD ON.

THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY.

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ HELL, YEAH ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪

♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪

♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪

-I'M GONNA HAVE FUN WITH YOU.

-OK, MARY JO, I'M READY

TO JUMP IN.

COME ON, IT'S BEEN

OVER AN HOUR.

OH, GOD.

AH, MAN, THIS DOOR IS SQUEAKY.

-WELL, IT HAPPENED.

YOUR SISTER'S A LESBIAN.

-THAT'S AWESOME, FOR HER, YOU

KNOW, BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?

-SHE'S A SOPHOMORE AT

A STATE SCHOOL.

THAT'S WHAT THEY DO.

-RIGHT.

THAT KIND OF SUCKS THOUGH.

I WAS HOPING WE'D BE

RELATED SOMEDAY.

-YOUR SISTER'S GREAT.

I'M A JUNIOR NOW, YOU KNOW?

-RIGHT.

-TIME TO MAKE SOME REAL

BAD DECISIONS.

I'M THINKING ABOUT RED SHIRTING

THIS SEASON SO I HAVE

MORE TIME FOR PARTYING.

-PRIORITIES, MAN.

-CALL ME.

JUST KIDDING.

AND YOU ARE GOING TO WANT

TO CHANGE THOSE SHEETS.

THAT IS HOT.

-GOD, MARTY, WITHOUT THAD IN

THERE, YOU HAVE NO DEFENSE.

-STOP TALKING, SWEETHEART.

-WELL, I AM JUST TRYING

TO MAKE MYSELF USEFUL.

CAN YOU THINK OF ANY WAY I CAN

BE OF USE TO YOU, COACH?

-GET AWAY FROM THE WINDOW.

-HEY, IS COACH DANIELS

IN THERE?

-ARE YOU FROM THE

ATHLETIC BOARD?

-NO, I AM THE NEW OFFENSIVE

COORDINATOR.

-OH, I'M THAD.

-I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

-HEY, WILL YOU ASK COACH IF

I CAN BE BACK ON THE TEAM?

-NO.

HEY, COACH.

OH, JESUS CHRIST. DID I

COME AT A BAD TIME?

-NO, NO, WE'RE, WE'RE JUST

GOING OVER SOME--

HEY, HONEY, THIS IS

MARCUS GILDAY, OUR

NEW COACH IN WAITING.

-I HATE THAT TERM.

YOU KNOW, IT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE

I'M GUNNING FOR HIS JOB.

-I'M SURE IT COULDN'T BE

FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.

I'VE HEARD SO MANY GREAT

THINGS ABOUT YOU.

MARTY TELLS ME YOU'RE

QUITE A FIND.

-WELL, MY WIFE THINKS SO.

-HEY.

-IS THAT THE ROSTER?

I'D LOVE TO TAKE

A LITTLE LOOK.

CAN I?

-SURE.

WE'RE PRETTY SET OFFENSIVELY.

I THINK IT'S--

-GREAT.

OH, I SEE YOU'VE GOT ALEX MORAN

HERE AS THE STARTING

QUARTERBACK.

THAT'S A TYPO, RIGHT?

-NO.

I JUST GOT WORD TODAY

ABOUT RADON.

HIS SHOULDER'S GONE.

YOU KNOW, HE'S NOT

GOING TO BE BACK.

-MORAN'S PLAYED LIKE, WHAT,

FIVE DECENT QUARTERS OF

FOOTBALL IN THE PAST

TWO YEARS?

-HE'S OUR BEST OPTION

RIGHT NOW.

-I DON'T MEAN TO STEP

ON ANYONE'S TOES.

I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU TOOK A

LOOK AT THE OFFENSE THAT I RAN

AT STANFORD.

IT MIGHT BE A BIT MORE COMPLEX

THAN WHAT YOU GUYS ARE USED TO

HERE, BUT--

-YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MORAN.

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO HIM.

-HEY, COACH, HEY I KNOW

YOU'RE REALLY BUSY--

-SHUT UP.

MORAN, I WANT YOU TO MEET OUR

NEW OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR,

COACH GILDAY.

YOU GUYS SHOULD SPEND

TIME TOGETHER, GET

TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

-WHY?

-BECAUSE YOU'RE OUR STARTING

QUARTERBACK.

-ACTUALLY, I WANTED TO TALK TO

YOU ABOUT RED SHIRTING THIS

SEASON.

-UH-HUH.

-ONLY FRESHMAN RED SHIRT.

-I'M A TRAILBLAZER.

-YOU'RE NOT RED SHIRTING.

OK?

YOU'RE OUR STARTING

QUARTERBACK AND A

LEADER ON THIS TEAM.

-THE KID WANTS TO TAKE

A YEAR OFF, COACH.

I HARDLY THINK THAT MAKES

HIM A LEADER.

-REALLY?

THEN WE'RE IN REAL TROUBLE

BECAUSE I'M NAMING HIM ACTING

CAPTAIN UNTIL THAD'S SITUATION

GETS WORKED OUT.

-NO.

-THAD, THAD'S GOT AN

EXCELLENT POINT.

-ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

-OH, NO.

YOU'RE THE BOSS.

YOU'RE THE BOSS.

-WELCOME ABOARD.

-THANK YOU.

ALEX, IT IS A REAL PLEASURE

TO MEET YOU.

-CAPTAIN?

THAT'S AMAZING.

-I HAVE A FEELING WE'RE GOING

TO BE COMPETING FOR A LOT OF

THE SAME LEFTOVERS.

-I MEAN, I MEAN I SPENT TWO

YEARS TRYING TO AVOID

RESPONSIBILITY.

YOU KNOW, THIS SUCKS.

-MORAN?

-YEAH?

-I KNEW THE DAY WOULD COME

WHEN I'D HAVE TO PASS THE

TORCH, BUT TO YOU?

-THIS KID LED A FOURTH QUARTER

COMEBACK IN THE TITLE GAME

LAST YEAR, BRO.

-YEAH, A TITLE GAME

THAT WE LOST, BRO.

I KNOW WHY COACH

IS DOING THIS.

HE'S PUNISHING ME FOR TRYING

TO LEAVE EARLY.

-WHAT DO YOU SAY WE ALL JUST GET

DRUNK AND FORGET THIS ALL

EVER HAPPENED, RIGHT?

-I WISH I COULD, BUT

SHORT TERM OR NOT,

YOU ARE NOW THE ACTING--

GOD.

THE ACTING--

GOD--

YOU ARE NOW THE ACTING

CAPTAIN OF THIS TEAM.

IT'S TRADITION TO INFORM YOU

THAT YOUR INDUCTION CEREMONY

IS FRIDAY NIGHT.

I'VE ALREADY ALERTED THE COUNCIL

OF CAPTAINS, BUT FIRST

THERE'S SOMETHING I

HAVE TO SHOW YOU.

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH

THIS KILLS ME, MORAN.

-LOOK, IF YOU'RE GOING TO SHAVE

MY ASS OR SOMETHING,

COULD WE JUST GET

IT OVER WITH?

WHAT IS THIS PLACE?

-IT BELONGS TO THE STARTING TO!

QB.

RADON DIDN'T WANT IT

LAST YEAR BECAUSE

THE BED DIDN'T VIBRATE.

IT'S A LITTLE GAUDY

IF YOU ASK ME.

-HEY, ARE YOU THE NEW STARTING

QUARTERBACK?

-DIBS.

-DIBS.

-YES I AM.

HI.

OKAY, COACH WANTS ME TO START,

I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.

BUT IF HE WANTS ME TO BE

CAPTAIN, WELL THERE'S GOING TO

BE SOME CHANGES.

FROM NOW ON, ALL TEAM MEETINGS

ARE GOING TO TAKE PLACE AT THE

STRIP CLUB.

-HEY, COACH.

-PETROSIAN AND WESLEY.

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

-COACH?

-LET THEM GO.

-COACH?

-THAD, NOTHING HAS CHANGED

IN THE LAST FIVE MINUTES.

WHEN I HEAR FROM THE ATHLETIC

BOARD, I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

-WELL, WHEN ARE THEY

GOING TO--

-HEY, HEY, HEY, YOU WANT TO

MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL?

GO PICK UP THOSE EMPTY

CUPS ON THE SIDELINE.

WHO ELSE?

-WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, HEY.

RELAX I'VE GOT THIS.

QUESTION, DO YOU

KNOW WHO I AM?

-THE MASCOT?

-FOOT IN THE DOOR MUCH.

I'VE GOT A PROPOSITION FOR YOU.

I SAW THE WAY YOU SET UP ALEX.

I LIKE A ROOM WITH A

GOAT HOUSE, TOO.

IN EXCHANGE, I'LL BE

YOUR HOUSE BOY.

I'LL COOK, CHANGE THE KEGS,

SCRUB THE TOILETS.

-AND FINALLY, FEMALE REPORTERS

ARE NO LONGER BANNED IN THE

LOCKER ROOM.

NO, THEY'RE ENCOURAGED

TO PARTICIPATE IN

THE POST-GAME SHOWERS.

-RIGHT

-YEAH.

-RIGHT?

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

-FIRST TEAM.

HEY, MORAN THAT'S YOU.

-OH, SHIT.

THAT'S GOING TO TAKE SOME

GETTING USED TO.

-FINE, HOUSE BOY, YOU

CAN BE OF USE TO ME.

MEET ME AT THE GOAT HOUSE

AFTER PRACTICE.

-LOOK, I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT

THE CHANGES THAT GILDAY'S

PROPOSING FOR THE PLAYBOOK

COULD WORK.

-I JUST DON'T TRUST THAT

GUY, JOHN-JOHN.

I'VE NEVER HAD A COACH FORCED

ON ME LIKE THIS.

AM I MAKING A MISTAKE, YOU KNOW,

WITH MORAN, PUTTING ALL

MY EGGS IN ONE BASKET, ONE

UNPROVEN IRRESPONSIBLE BASKET.

-IF YOU PULL OUT NOW,

IT SHOWS WEAKNESS.

MORAN HAS SURPRISED US BEFORE.

I'M SURE HE'S GOING TO

SURPRISE US AGAIN.

-DANNY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

-(SHOUTING) I'M BUILDING

YOU A BOAT FOR

YOUR INDUCTION CEREMONY.

THAD TOLD ME IF I [INAUDIBLE]

FOR THE GOAT HOUSE,

HE'LL GIVE ME A ROOM.

WE'RE GOING TO BE

ROOMMATES AGAIN.

-(SHOUTING) WHAT-- THAT LOOKS

REALLY DANGEROUS.

-(SHOUTING) THAT'S WHY I

BOUGHT THESE GOGGLES.

-(SHOUTING) THAT LOOKS

REALLY AWFUL.

-(SHOUTING) I KNOW.

I'M GOING SURPRISE HER WITH A

NICE STEAK DINNER TONIGHT,

RIGHT AFTER I FINISH

THE STERN.

[ PHONE RINGS ]

-COACH?

FOR THE LAST TIME, LARRY, I

DIDN'T STEAL YOUR JEANS.

-MY BAD.

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

-HEY, MARY JO.

-ALEX.

-COACH.

-YEAH.

-WHAT A SURPRISE.

-I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

I FIGURED WE'RE REALLY GOING TO

BE WORKING TOGETHER, SO WHY

NOT HANG OUT, RIGHT?

-SOUNDS GREAT.

-YEAH, WELL, I COULD TELL THE

WHOLE STARTER THING KIND OF

GOT YOU BY SURPRISE,

DIDN'T IT?

-A LITTLE, BUT I MEAN I'M KIND

OF GETTING USED TO IT, YOU

KNOW?

-YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT ALL

NATURAL LEADERS ARE WE?

YOU KNOW, IF I WAS YOU I'D BE

SCARED, TOO, ESPECIALLY YOU'VE

GOT SO MUCH TO LOSE, RIGHT?

-I'M NOT SCARED.

-NOT YET, HUH?

-NO.

-HAVE YOU BEEN READING

THE PAPERS?

WE'RE NOT EXACTLY PREDICTED

TO GO ALL THE WAY.

AND TRUST ME ON THIS ONE, THERE

IS NOTHING THAT IS MORE

LONELY THAN BEING STARTING

QUARTERBACK ON A LOSING TEAM.

NOTHING.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A REAL SHAME

DANIELS IS DOING THIS TO YOU,

MAN, ESPECIALLY YOU.

IT'S A SHAME.

-COACH, IS THERE SOMETHING YOU

WANT TO SAY TO ME, OR?

-YES, THERE IS.

-OKAY.

-YOU AND I BOTH KNOW DANIELS IS

ON HIS WAY OUT, AND I WAS

JUST THINKING IT MIGHT BE IN THE

TEAM'S BEST INTEREST FOR

US TO EXPEDITE HIS DEPARTURE.

-I'M NOT QUITE SURE HOW YOU WANT

ME TO HELP YOU WITH THAT.

-STUDY THIS PLAYBOOK.

HELP ME CONVINCE YOUR TEAMMATES

TO SEE THE LIGHT.

IF YOU HELP ME I WILL GIVE

YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANT.

YOU WANT TO RED SHIRT?

FINE.

YOU WANT TO SHOW UP FOR

PRACTICE ONCE A

WEEK, I DON'T CARE.

ALL OF THIS WILL BE YOURS

WITHOUT ANY RISK OF IT

DISAPPEARING.

-I, I GUESS I CAN TAKE

A LOOK AT THIS.

-ATTA BOY.

HEY, LISTEN, I'M MEETING WITH

SOME BOOSTERS TOMORROW NIGHT.

THEY'VE GOT MY BACK.

THEY'LL HAVE YOURS.

STOP BY THE DINER AFTER PRACTICE

TOMORROW NIGHT.

LET ME KNOW WHAT

YOU'VE DECIDED.

-COACH DANIELS, TOP BRASS, BMS

ATHLETIC BOARD, HERE TO INFORM

YOU THAT THAD CASTLE'S NOW

BEEN CLEARED TO PLAY.

HE'S BACK ON THE TEAM.

-HEY, MAN, GET OFF THE FIELD.

-YES.

I DON'T THINK HE BOUGHT

IT, BUT--

-WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DO

IMPRESSIONS MAN, YOU SUCK.

BLUE 16, BLUE 16.

HUT, HUT.

-MORAN, WHAT THE

HELL WAS THAT?

YOU HIT THE MAN WHO'S RUNNING

THE POST. DID YOU CHANGE THAT

READ?

-NOW, DON'T GET SO UPSET, COACH,

CONSIDER THIS JUST LIKE

A PROPOSAL.

THAT'S THE OFFENSE I THINK WE

SHOULD BE RUNNING, ONLY HIGH

PERCENTAGE PASSES, SLANTS

QUICK OUTS, SCREENS.

WE MOVE THE BALL WITH

PRECISION, CONTROL--

-YOU THINK YOU CAN RUN THIS

TEAM BETTER THAN ME?

WHY?

BECAUSE SOME UNGRATEFUL

PRICKS GAVE YOU A

JOB ON A SILVER PLATTER?

I WAS WINNING CHAMPIONSHIPS

BEFORE YOU DISCOVERED HOW TO

JERK OFF.

-NICE.

-DON'T EVER GO OVER

MY HEAD AGAIN.

-YOU WANT TO WIN SOME GAMES?

THEN WE'VE GOT TO CHANGE.

WE CAN ALL SEE THAT.

BUT YOU DON'T.

MAYBE THAT IS WHY I AM HERE.

-OK, YOU ARE A COACH IN

WAITING, SO JUST WAIT.

YOU STAY OUT OF MY FACE.

-I DON'T THINK THIS PRICK

REALIZES WHO HE'S DEALING

WITH.

-YEAH, COACH SEEMS PISSED.

-I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT COACH.

-ALEX.

ALEX, WHAT'S UP WITH YOU MAN?

-I DIDN'T COME TO THIS SCHOOL

TO BE A HERO, RIGHT?

I CAME HERE TO HAVE FUN.

AND IF THESE COACHES WANT

TO USE ME, FINE.

LET THEM.

I'M GOING TO USE THEM, TOO.

-I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT

THAT MEANS.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE INDUCTION

CEREMONY TONIGHT.

YOU'RE COMING RIGHT?

-NO.

NO, I'M DRINKING MAN,

AND YOU SHOULD TOO.

-DUDE, YOU HAVE TO COME.

MY ROOM AT THE GOAT HOUSE

DEPENDS ON IT.

I'M GOING TO BE THE FIRST MASCOT

TO LIVE AT THE GOAT

HOUSE, LIKE THE JACKIE

ROBINSON OF MASCOTS.

-SAMMY, I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT?

I'VE GOTTA DO WHAT'S

BEST FOR ME.

WAIT, WHY DON'T YOU COME

DRINKING WITH ME?

-YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'D RATHER DRINK WITH THAD.

HE VALUES ME.

-HOUSE BOY, COME.

NOW.

-YEAH, WHAT'S UP, MAN?

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

WAIT UP.

-BARTENDER, THREE BEERS

AND A FUNNEL, PLEASE?

HEY.

YOU'RE STILL HERE?

-I THINK I LIVE HERE NOW.

-HOW MUCH IS GILDAY

PAYING YOU?

-GREAT, ANOTHER ONE.

-YOU KNOW, ALEX, WHEN YOU SIGNED

YOUR LETTER OF INTENT

YOU MADE A COMMITMENT

TO YOUR COACH.

-I DON'T BELIEVE IN COMMITMENT,

AND I KNOW FOR A

FACT YOU DON'T EITHER.

-YEAH, WELL WHEN MARTY WITH

AT HIS HEIGHT, A NATIONAL

CHAMPION, HE CHOSE YOU.

NOW YOU'RE WALKING

AWAY FROM HIM?

-I'M GOING TO HAVE FUN HERE.

-FUN?

-MM-HMM.

-YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT FUN IS.

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HERE FOR A

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP WIN.

LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN IN THIS

ROOM THE NIGHT OF THE 1993

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE FUN THAN

BEING THE STARTING QUARTERBACK

OF THE WINNING TEAM.

IF THERE WAS EVER A TIME

TO GO FOR IT ALL, NOW

WOULD BE THAT TIME.

I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS.

-MM-HMM.

-AND YOU NEED TO TAKE THE NIGHT

AND THINK ABOUT WHAT

KIND OF PICTURES YOU WANT

OF YOURSELF HUNG ON

THESE WALLS, OK?

-IT WAS GREAT SEEING YOU.

-YOU, TOO.

-SEE YOU AROUND.

-BETTER BELIEVE YOU WILL.

-BYE, ALEX.

-BYE.

-SHE HUNG WITH US AT

CHEER PRACTICE.

-OH.

-COME ON, ALEX, PICK

UP THE PHONE.

PICK UP THE PHONE, BUDDY.

COME ON, ALEX, PICK IT UP.

-CASTLE, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

MAN, THIS BEAUTIFUL BODY

OF MINE HAS TO BE FED.

MAN, WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?

-YOU'LL BE EATING SOON ENOUGH,

MR. OCHOCINCO.

HE'S COMING.

RIGHT, HOUSE BOY?

-YEAH.

YEAH, HE'S COMING.

-HE'S COMING.

-I GOTTA GET ME A HOUSE BOY.

[PHONE RINGING]

-I CAN'T BELIEVE

I'M DOING THIS.

GODDAMN IT.

-SO DANIELS WALKS UP TO THIS

KID, OFFERS HIM THE STARTING

QUARTERBACK POSITION.

THE KID LOOKS UP AND HE SAYS,

"COACH, I WAS THINKING OF RED

SHIRTING." CAN YOU

BELIEVE THAT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY AND

LET YOU KNOW MORAN WON'T BE

MAKING IT TONIGHT.

-I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

TALKING ABOUT.

I'M JUST HERE HAVING A SODA

WITH SOME BOOSTERS, HUH?

-WHEN YOU MESS WITH MARTY,

YOU MESS WITH ME.

HE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO BURN

YOUR HOUSE DOWN IN THE MIDDLE

OF THE NIGHT, BUT I SURE CAN.

AND ONCE MY DIVORCE FROM DEAN

SIMON'S OFFICIAL, I'LL HAVE

THE MONEY TO GET AWAY WITH IT.

COURTESY OF ALEX MORAN.

OH, COURTESY OF ME.

IT'S TO HELP YOU SHOVE THAT

PLAYBOOK UP YOUR ASS.

TOODLES.

-PETE, YOU'VE GOT TO

BE KIDDING ME.

-WHO ADDED THIS SHIT

TO THE CEREMONY?

-HE DID.

-COACH, WHAT ARE

YOU DOING HERE?

-BMS CAPTAIN, '71 AND '72.

-NO SHIT.

WHOA.

-ALL ABOARD.

I'M GOOD RIGHT HERE.

-GET IN THE BOAT.

AS FORMER CAPTAIN OF THE BMS

FOOTBALL TEAM, I HEREBY PASS

THE TORCH TO YOU, ALEX MORAN.

-COOL.

-KNEEL DOWN IF YOU ACCEPT.

-I'D RATHER NOT IF THAT'S OK?

OK.

GREAT.

-WE'RE NOT FINISHED.

-COME ON, NO.

NO WAY.

-EVERY CAPTAIN SINCE THE

BEGINNING OF THIS PROGRAM HAS

WORN THIS CUP.

AND NOW YOU WILL WEAR IT, TOO.

THANKS.

THAT'S A LOT OF DICKS, GUYS.

-A LOT OF LEGENDARY DICKS.

-WELL, THANKS FOR

THE CRABS, GUYS.

I'M GOING TO BE SHOWERING

FOR ABOUT A WEEK.

-AND NOW FOR THE FINAL STEP.

-REALLY?

-YOU'RE NOT OFFICIALLY A CAPTAIN

UNTIL YOU WEAR THE

BRAND OF THE CAPTAIN.

-OH, NO, NO, NO WAIT.

NO, HOLD ON.

HE--

I'VE SEEN THAD NAKED.

HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A BRAND.

-I WAS BRANDED ON THE

BACK OF MY BALL SAC.

NOT THE SMARTEST DECISION

I EVER MADE.

WOULDN'T RECOMMEND IT.

-JUST MAKE IT QUICK.

ON THE ASS.

-COACH, BEFORE THIS IS MADE

OFFICIAL, IS THERE ANY WAY I

CAN GET BACK ON THE TEAM?

MORAN DOESN'T HAVE IT IN HIM.

-THANKS.

-I TALKED TO THE ATHLETIC

BOARD ABOUT AN HOUR AGO.

ONE GAME SUSPENSION, AND

THEN YOU'RE BACK.

-YES!

OH, MY GOD.

THANK YOU SO MUCH COACH.

I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.

-DO I GET HALF A BRAND,

RIGHT, BECAUSE--

-NO.

FULL BRAND.

-THIS IS SO GAY.

-CONGRATULATIONS, CAPTAIN.

-DID YOU GET YOUR ROOM?

-THAD'S GIVING ME A CLOSET.

-A CLOSET?

-I KNOW.

AWESOME, RIGHT?

-WELCOME TO THE FELLOWSHIP,

MORAN.

-GOD.