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00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:06,319
Hi, we're all excited here folks
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00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:08,355
because joining us
in studio right now
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00:00:08,423 --> 00:00:10,257
are two of the guys that playedfor Blue Mountain State.
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00:00:10,325 --> 00:00:14,194
My main man Thad Castle and
Radon Randell-- rivalry weekend!
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00:00:14,262 --> 00:00:16,563
Big game this weekend,boys, against Overland U.
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00:00:16,631 --> 00:00:20,400
Listen, Thad, last year your defense
got ripped at the end of the year.
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00:00:20,468 --> 00:00:22,936
You guys were thoroughlyembarrassed in the Cypress Bowl.
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00:00:23,004 --> 00:00:26,473
- What's different this year?
- I feel I've really matured as a leader, boomer--
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00:00:26,541 --> 00:00:29,143
It's me. I'm the difference.
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00:00:29,210 --> 00:00:31,812
I wasn't quarterback last year.
I'm quarterback this year.
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00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,281
- End quote.
- Jeez, talk much?
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00:00:34,349 --> 00:00:37,551
Hang on a sec, guys, a lot of people
wanna talk about the big rivalry game
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00:00:37,619 --> 00:00:40,320
so let's take some calls.
Let's go to Jay in Phoenixville,
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00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:43,223
On the fan with boomer and carton.
Jay, how you doing today, kiddo?
15
00:00:43,291 --> 00:00:44,825
Yeah, I'm a studentat Overland.
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00:00:44,893 --> 00:00:47,161
And yesterday our mascotLandy the badger was stolen.
17
00:00:47,228 --> 00:00:48,896
Do these guys knowanything about that?
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00:00:48,963 --> 00:00:51,598
Hey, caller, try this one on for size!
19
00:00:51,666 --> 00:00:53,667
- Thad, they can't see you.
- You can see me.
20
00:00:53,735 --> 00:00:55,936
- Sit down, just sit down.
- Next caller.
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00:00:56,004 --> 00:00:58,438
No no, not next caller.
This is worth investigating.
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00:00:58,506 --> 00:01:01,542
Because last year Overland U
killed your mascot,
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00:01:01,609 --> 00:01:03,277
and now this year
their badger's missing.
24
00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:05,812
You guys are gonna tell us
you know nothing about that?
25
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,981
I didn't steal any badger,
but if someone did,
26
00:01:08,049 --> 00:01:10,651
I would say that shows pretty
strong team leadership skills.
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00:01:10,718 --> 00:01:13,020
Man, what's wrong with you
weirdos stealing animals?
28
00:01:13,087 --> 00:01:15,055
Animals don't play the game!
29
00:01:15,123 --> 00:01:18,025
Look, if you want to steal
something, steal my arm.
30
00:01:18,092 --> 00:01:21,728
You see this right here? This is what's
killing y'all. Y'all need to steal this.
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00:01:21,796 --> 00:01:23,397
- Is that a challenge, my man?
- Yes.
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00:01:23,464 --> 00:01:27,334
Look, I'll give $1,000
to any Overland fan
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- that can come steal my arm. How that sound?
- It sounds pretty stupid.
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00:01:30,572 --> 00:01:33,340
I think it's time for you guys
just to button it up.
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00:01:33,408 --> 00:01:36,076
Why don't you guys do yourselves a favor
and get the hell out of the studio right now
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00:01:36,144 --> 00:01:37,778
before you cause moredamage to the program?
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00:01:37,845 --> 00:01:39,680
You're welcome, man.
It was my pleasure.
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00:01:39,747 --> 00:01:42,482
Thank you. Coming to you live
from B.M.S.-- Thad Castle.
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00:01:43,550 --> 00:01:45,719
- ( crowd cheering )
- man: Can you feel that?
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00:01:48,990 --> 00:01:52,526
You better hold on.This one's about to get bumpy.
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00:01:54,295 --> 00:01:56,363
♪ give me a hell,give me a yeah ♪
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00:01:56,431 --> 00:01:58,065
♪ hell yeah ♪
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00:01:58,132 --> 00:01:59,833
♪ stand up right now ♪
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00:01:59,901 --> 00:02:03,203
♪ give me a hell,give me a yeah ♪
45
00:02:03,271 --> 00:02:05,439
♪ stand up right now,right now ♪
46
00:02:05,506 --> 00:02:08,742
♪ give me a hell,give me a yeah ♪
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00:02:08,810 --> 00:02:10,018
♪ stand up right now. ♪
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00:02:10,218 --> 00:02:13,618
Sync by Alex1969
www.addic7ed.com
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00:02:13,881 --> 00:02:16,950
24-hour tailgate party,
rivalry weekend!
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00:02:17,018 --> 00:02:19,319
- Whoo-hoo!
- This is amazing!
51
00:02:19,387 --> 00:02:21,321
- We should do this every weekend.
- I know, right?
52
00:02:21,389 --> 00:02:24,424
The only downfall of playing
on the football team
53
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:27,294
- is that you never get to tailgate the games.
- Oh yeah.
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00:02:27,362 --> 00:02:28,709
Hey, Sammy, could you pass me
another beer, please?
55
00:02:28,757 --> 00:02:30,365
- Sure.
- Thanks, man.
56
00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:33,800
- Hey-o!
- Thank you, bud.
57
00:02:33,868 --> 00:02:37,437
- Why is the goat here again?
- I'm not letting him outof my sights this year, Alex.
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00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,172
Overland killed Billy-onelast year.
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00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,507
I'm not letting it happen again.
60
00:02:40,575 --> 00:02:42,676
I thought you killed Billy-one last year.
61
00:02:42,744 --> 00:02:45,912
Tomatoes, potatoes, bro.
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00:02:45,980 --> 00:02:47,614
Big wow!
Look at that! Wow!
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00:02:47,682 --> 00:02:50,684
Hey, big bro,
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00:02:50,752 --> 00:02:52,886
I've been meaning
to tell you something.
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00:02:52,954 --> 00:02:55,789
- Good.
- The cheerleaders, they made this vote.
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00:02:55,857 --> 00:02:58,492
Uh, and they decided
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00:02:58,559 --> 00:03:01,061
that I'm in charge
of Billy-two this year.
68
00:03:02,930 --> 00:03:04,464
- Sorry.
- You gotta be kidding me, right?
69
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,433
Girls, really?
70
00:03:06,501 --> 00:03:08,735
- Yeah, look down, look down.
- Okay, give me the rope.
71
00:03:08,803 --> 00:03:10,404
- No.
- Give me the rope.
72
00:03:10,471 --> 00:03:12,639
- Please let go of it. This is all I have.
- Give me the rope.
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00:03:12,707 --> 00:03:15,142
- Give me the rope.
- Fine. You want it? It's yours.
74
00:03:15,209 --> 00:03:17,411
I'm giving you all the rope
you need to hang yourself.
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00:03:17,478 --> 00:03:19,846
And when you do, I'll be laughing.
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00:03:19,914 --> 00:03:21,481
It's all yours.
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00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:25,085
Knock knock! Who's there?
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00:03:25,153 --> 00:03:27,287
Team captain.
Team captain who?
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00:03:27,355 --> 00:03:29,289
Team captain saying
that no more beer
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00:03:29,357 --> 00:03:31,591
and it's time for practice. Go!
81
00:03:31,659 --> 00:03:35,362
Blue 16! Blue 16!
82
00:03:35,430 --> 00:03:38,065
Isn't this bounty thing
just a little dangerous, coach?
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00:03:38,132 --> 00:03:40,467
I mean, if he goes down,
then I gotta start, right?
84
00:03:40,535 --> 00:03:44,304
Your breath, it smells
like hot dogs, Moran.
85
00:03:44,372 --> 00:03:46,540
It's-- it's bratwurst.
86
00:03:49,110 --> 00:03:51,578
Set! Hut-hut!
Hut-hut!
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00:03:51,646 --> 00:03:53,513
( players grunting )
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00:03:56,784 --> 00:03:59,986
Overland!
( screaming )
89
00:04:00,054 --> 00:04:03,156
Oh shit.
90
00:04:03,224 --> 00:04:05,692
We're under attack!
Protect the goat!
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00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,427
Yeah, that's gonna protect him all right.
92
00:04:09,464 --> 00:04:10,897
( grunts )
93
00:04:10,965 --> 00:04:13,133
You want these Benjamins, huh?!
94
00:04:13,201 --> 00:04:16,236
You want this arm?!
Not today, bitch!
95
00:04:16,304 --> 00:04:19,039
This money going back to the bank
tomorrow! Tell your friends.
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00:04:19,107 --> 00:04:22,175
You stole our badger!
97
00:04:22,243 --> 00:04:25,212
You stole our badger!
98
00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:28,081
All right, everybody in the locker
room, practice is over!
99
00:04:28,149 --> 00:04:31,485
Radon, pack a bag. You're staying
with me tonight.
100
00:04:31,552 --> 00:04:33,687
Oh sorry, coach.
We've got a game tomorrow
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00:04:33,755 --> 00:04:36,957
- and I got pre-rituals I gotta attend to.
- That wasn't a suggestion.
102
00:04:37,024 --> 00:04:40,627
Hey, get this goddamn
money off your arm.
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00:04:41,796 --> 00:04:44,030
Coach, as team captain,
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00:04:44,098 --> 00:04:46,733
I feel like player safety
is my jurisdiction.
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00:04:46,801 --> 00:04:48,769
Let me protect him.
( grunts )
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00:04:51,172 --> 00:04:53,140
Did you steal that badger, huh?
107
00:04:53,207 --> 00:04:54,775
- I didn't, coach.
- No?
108
00:04:54,842 --> 00:04:57,477
Look, this team cannot
afford any distractions.
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00:04:57,545 --> 00:04:59,079
Enough with the pranks.
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00:04:59,147 --> 00:05:01,882
Stop acting like a cheerleader
and act like a captain.
111
00:05:01,949 --> 00:05:03,049
( chuckles )
112
00:05:05,119 --> 00:05:07,687
Team meeting at the goat house!
113
00:05:10,024 --> 00:05:11,625
Is this something I could tailgate?
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00:05:11,692 --> 00:05:14,027
No, absolutely not!
115
00:05:14,095 --> 00:05:16,029
Shit.
116
00:05:21,836 --> 00:05:24,971
- I said no tailgating.
- I thought you said yes.
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00:05:25,039 --> 00:05:26,673
Whatever. Everybody, listen up.
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00:05:26,741 --> 00:05:30,010
Those douchebags at Overland
think the game begins tomorrow.
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00:05:30,077 --> 00:05:32,012
But it begins tonight.
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00:05:32,079 --> 00:05:34,514
Gentlemen, I give you
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00:05:34,582 --> 00:05:37,117
the Overland badger!
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00:05:37,185 --> 00:05:39,186
- Kill it!
- We're not gonna kill it. Shut up.
123
00:05:39,253 --> 00:05:41,521
But what I am gonna do
as team captain,
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00:05:41,589 --> 00:05:45,492
is remove and eat this badger's balls.
125
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,694
- Why?
- To inspire you.
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00:05:47,762 --> 00:05:50,263
To solidify the legend
that will be my captainship.
127
00:05:50,331 --> 00:05:54,034
And to send a message
to those pussies at Overland.
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00:05:54,101 --> 00:05:56,770
Maybe if you're lucky, I'll letone of you eat a ball with me.
129
00:05:56,838 --> 00:05:59,940
A future captain perhaps.
130
00:06:00,007 --> 00:06:02,008
( laughs )
131
00:06:02,076 --> 00:06:03,944
No, yeah, this is-- this is great!
132
00:06:04,011 --> 00:06:06,413
- Right, captain Hamon?
- No, it's a terrible idea, man.
133
00:06:06,481 --> 00:06:07,981
Yeah, no, yeah.
134
00:06:08,049 --> 00:06:10,250
I've been feeding him
cherry vodka martinis all night
135
00:06:10,318 --> 00:06:12,085
So he should be pretty groggy by now.
( growling )
136
00:06:16,991 --> 00:06:18,458
- ( hisses )
- (players gasp )
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00:06:19,694 --> 00:06:21,895
( snarls )
138
00:06:21,963 --> 00:06:24,698
Oh jeez!
139
00:06:31,973 --> 00:06:34,107
- Hamon, you do it.
- Hell no, man.
140
00:06:34,175 --> 00:06:36,076
Somebody just get
his balls out of him.
141
00:06:36,143 --> 00:06:37,744
- Alex, somebody, do something.
- Hamon.
142
00:06:37,812 --> 00:06:40,313
Everybody's just looking at me
right now and I need help!
143
00:06:40,381 --> 00:06:42,115
Put him on his back.
144
00:06:42,183 --> 00:06:45,452
( clamoring )
145
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:49,022
Step on him!
Throw something at him!
146
00:06:49,090 --> 00:06:51,391
( screaming )
147
00:06:51,459 --> 00:06:53,727
Don't let him out the door!
148
00:06:55,863 --> 00:06:57,697
- No!
- Ho ho ho ho!
149
00:07:00,635 --> 00:07:02,802
It wasn't my fault. It was Moran!
150
00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:05,138
The smell of the hot dogs made him
go crazy! You all saw it.
151
00:07:05,206 --> 00:07:07,941
Let's look at this as a
blessing in disguise, huh?
152
00:07:08,009 --> 00:07:09,876
Overland loses a mascot, we still win.
153
00:07:09,944 --> 00:07:11,745
- Let's tailgate!
- Yeah!
154
00:07:11,812 --> 00:07:15,181
No! I made a promise to this team.
155
00:07:15,249 --> 00:07:17,417
Nobody wins until those badger's balls
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00:07:17,485 --> 00:07:19,386
are in my mouth.
157
00:07:23,658 --> 00:07:26,793
Wow, coach. You got robbed.
158
00:07:26,861 --> 00:07:30,030
Yeah, I did. By my ex-wife.
159
00:07:30,097 --> 00:07:32,432
Okay, this ishow it's gonna work.
160
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,936
You're gonna stay out of my way
and I'm gonna stay out of your way.
161
00:07:36,003 --> 00:07:39,239
Hey, coach, as long as I'm able to do
my rituals, then I'm good.
162
00:07:39,307 --> 00:07:41,074
Look, I need an ice bath at 10:15.
163
00:07:41,142 --> 00:07:44,044
I need a three-brown-egg
omelet at midnight.
164
00:07:44,111 --> 00:07:45,912
I need homemade baklava.
165
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,114
I need three cases of whipped cream.
166
00:07:48,182 --> 00:07:51,952
And I need the thermostat set to 17°C.
167
00:07:52,019 --> 00:07:54,788
None of that Fahrenheit bullshit.
( doorbell rings )
168
00:07:54,855 --> 00:07:57,591
Oh, hold on. That's probably for me.
Don't worry about it.
169
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,094
- Women: Hey!
- Oh oh!
170
00:08:01,162 --> 00:08:03,897
Hey, ladies! What's going on?
171
00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:06,700
Hey hey hey, Radon,absolutely not.
172
00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:08,101
It's not gonna happen in my house.
173
00:08:08,169 --> 00:08:10,070
- No.
- Hey listen, I'm undefeated
174
00:08:10,137 --> 00:08:12,272
this season, coach, when I do my ritual.
175
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,941
You wouldn't wanna start messing
with that, now would you?
176
00:08:15,009 --> 00:08:18,144
- Who are the girls?
- They're my chefs.
177
00:08:18,212 --> 00:08:19,546
( chuckles )
178
00:08:21,182 --> 00:08:23,216
( laughing )
179
00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:32,192
( badger growling )
180
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:42,102
- I hear something.
- There's no one here.
181
00:08:43,938 --> 00:08:46,673
( growling )
182
00:08:46,741 --> 00:08:47,974
( gasps )
183
00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:08,042
Where's the rest of the team?
I said 11:00.
184
00:09:08,109 --> 00:09:09,910
We've got a game in the morning.
185
00:09:09,978 --> 00:09:12,046
Shut up and load
your tranquilizer rifle.
186
00:09:12,113 --> 00:09:14,114
We had a family
of badgers in my yard
187
00:09:14,182 --> 00:09:16,283
when I was growing up.
188
00:09:16,351 --> 00:09:19,286
Those things killed our german
shepherd, man. They're dangerous.
189
00:09:19,354 --> 00:09:22,089
Danger is my maiden name, brobeans.
( cocks gun )
190
00:09:22,157 --> 00:09:23,991
Middle name--
Danger's your middle name.
191
00:09:24,059 --> 00:09:26,427
My middle name is Devlin.
192
00:09:26,494 --> 00:09:29,797
I'll figure something out. I'll call you back,
all right? Hey, can you believe this?
193
00:09:29,865 --> 00:09:32,366
They shut down tailgating
because of this stupid badg--
194
00:09:32,434 --> 00:09:34,368
- Hey, whoa! What's going on?
- Welcome to the hunt.
195
00:09:34,436 --> 00:09:36,337
The hunt?
196
00:09:36,404 --> 00:09:38,639
This is crazy. That thing just
attacked two people.
197
00:09:38,707 --> 00:09:40,074
If inspiring my team is crazy,
198
00:09:40,141 --> 00:09:42,243
then lock me up
and throw away the key.
199
00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:44,445
( goat bleats )
Ahhh!
200
00:09:46,381 --> 00:09:50,684
- Aaaah! What did you just do?
- I thought it was the badger.
201
00:09:50,752 --> 00:09:54,388
It's a goat. It looks nothing like a badger.
202
00:09:54,456 --> 00:09:56,357
He's fine. He just gonna
sleep for a while.
203
00:09:56,424 --> 00:09:59,293
( laughing )
204
00:10:01,029 --> 00:10:03,230
We need to hunt this badger.
Let's just go.
205
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:05,332
Not as easy as it looks.
Is it, huh?
206
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,636
Hey, coach, what you still
doing up, man?
207
00:10:08,703 --> 00:10:10,437
I never sleep before a game.
208
00:10:10,505 --> 00:10:13,307
Hey, old people need to sleep, man.
209
00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:15,242
Me? I can stay up for days.
210
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:18,012
How are you supposed to coach me
tomorrow if you don't got your rest?
211
00:10:18,079 --> 00:10:21,515
Here. Take one of these pills.
212
00:10:21,583 --> 00:10:24,084
Hey, I been doing this
before you were born.
213
00:10:24,152 --> 00:10:26,654
I don't need your pills.
Leave me alone.
214
00:10:26,721 --> 00:10:28,555
All right, coach.
215
00:10:35,964 --> 00:10:37,831
Have a good night.
216
00:10:43,838 --> 00:10:46,106
Thad: One more thing to remember:
217
00:10:46,174 --> 00:10:49,543
badgers are great climbers,
so always look above you.
218
00:10:49,611 --> 00:10:51,612
Hamon:
Can I just say one more time,
219
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:53,614
this is a really bad idea?
220
00:10:53,682 --> 00:10:55,482
He's been crawling
for the past three blocks.
221
00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:58,352
Why are we wearing bright orange?
222
00:10:58,420 --> 00:11:00,554
So other hunters don't shoot us.
223
00:11:00,622 --> 00:11:03,123
This is a terrible idea. Badgers kill.
224
00:11:03,191 --> 00:11:05,492
I agree with Hamon.
Someone's gonna get hurt.
( twigs snap )
225
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,695
Shut up. Did you hear that?
226
00:11:07,762 --> 00:11:09,763
What?
( gasps )
227
00:11:09,831 --> 00:11:12,466
( woman screams )
228
00:11:12,534 --> 00:11:15,002
That was a test. Moran, you passed.
229
00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:17,504
- Donnie, Hamon, where are you going?
- Hamon: I'm out.
230
00:11:17,572 --> 00:11:19,840
- Woman: Somebody help us!
- Where's everybody going?
231
00:11:19,908 --> 00:11:21,442
Cowards!
232
00:11:21,509 --> 00:11:24,011
The thing about protecting
a mascot, Mary Jo,
233
00:11:24,079 --> 00:11:27,181
is you gotta expect the unexpected.
234
00:11:27,248 --> 00:11:29,483
What are you doing?
235
00:11:29,551 --> 00:11:32,152
This is a trick I saw
on a medical show once.
236
00:11:32,220 --> 00:11:35,689
I used to use it on grandma
when she'd O.D.
237
00:11:35,757 --> 00:11:38,025
See, the vaseline,
238
00:11:38,093 --> 00:11:40,761
it loosens up the butthole.
239
00:11:40,829 --> 00:11:43,964
And then
240
00:11:44,032 --> 00:11:47,368
the ice cubes slide right in.
241
00:11:47,435 --> 00:11:49,203
( grunts )
242
00:11:49,270 --> 00:11:51,138
- Wait, you did this to grandma?
- Yep.
243
00:11:51,206 --> 00:11:53,407
No wonder why she hates us.
244
00:11:53,475 --> 00:11:56,043
Okay, put these on.
245
00:11:56,111 --> 00:11:59,079
I need you to hold the tail up.
246
00:11:59,147 --> 00:12:01,482
Wish I could, but my hands
are kind of full.
247
00:12:01,549 --> 00:12:03,484
Sorry.
248
00:12:03,551 --> 00:12:05,486
Mmm!
249
00:12:05,553 --> 00:12:07,955
When we take the field today,
250
00:12:08,023 --> 00:12:09,790
all the talk,
251
00:12:09,858 --> 00:12:13,660
all the distractions, they go away.
252
00:12:13,728 --> 00:12:17,031
Then it's just us
253
00:12:17,098 --> 00:12:22,202
and those ugly ugly shitbags
254
00:12:22,270 --> 00:12:25,706
on the other sideline.
255
00:12:25,774 --> 00:12:27,207
How was that?
256
00:12:27,275 --> 00:12:29,543
Not angry enough.
257
00:12:29,611 --> 00:12:31,578
I'll get there.
These pre-game speeches
258
00:12:31,646 --> 00:12:33,414
are a bitch and a half, I'm telling you.
259
00:12:33,481 --> 00:12:35,482
Hey, Radon,
260
00:12:35,550 --> 00:12:38,085
where did all these people come from?
261
00:12:38,153 --> 00:12:40,988
( laughs )
These are all the people
that's been here, coach.
262
00:12:41,056 --> 00:12:44,158
I feel-- I feel drunk.
Oh God.
263
00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:47,428
Don't worry about that.
264
00:12:47,495 --> 00:12:50,964
That's just the "e" kicking in, coach.
265
00:12:51,032 --> 00:12:52,833
What's "e"?
266
00:12:52,901 --> 00:12:55,769
Oh, "e" is just something
that's gonna relax you.
267
00:12:55,837 --> 00:12:59,173
It'll wear off before game time.
268
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,708
I am missing the biggest
tailgate of the year
269
00:13:01,776 --> 00:13:03,877
because we're hunting
this stupid badger.
270
00:13:03,945 --> 00:13:05,979
- This is not stupid!
- This is stupid!
271
00:13:06,047 --> 00:13:08,415
- Why don't you think of something just once?
- Why do we have guns?!
272
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:10,684
I swear.
273
00:13:13,154 --> 00:13:15,322
Wait.
274
00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:19,126
Wait. We've been going
about this all wrong.
275
00:13:19,194 --> 00:13:21,195
What?
276
00:13:21,262 --> 00:13:24,398
The cops banned
tailgating tonight. Why?
277
00:13:24,466 --> 00:13:28,102
- I don't know.
- Because badgers are attracted to meat.
278
00:13:28,169 --> 00:13:31,004
We stop hunting the badger and we
make the badger come to us.
279
00:13:31,072 --> 00:13:34,141
We tailgate.
280
00:13:34,209 --> 00:13:36,777
That's crazy.
281
00:13:39,948 --> 00:13:42,116
I love it.
282
00:13:42,183 --> 00:13:43,884
♪ you're a beautiful thing ♪
283
00:13:46,054 --> 00:13:49,690
♪ and I'm a beautiful thing. ♪
284
00:13:49,757 --> 00:13:51,658
( laughing )
285
00:13:53,495 --> 00:13:55,329
15 seconds, coach.
286
00:13:55,396 --> 00:13:58,565
Is that all? It felt like I was
down there for an hour.
287
00:14:03,872 --> 00:14:06,507
- You know, I'm a blessed man, Radon.
- Oh, is that so?
288
00:14:06,574 --> 00:14:08,609
Oh yeah, I mean look at this.
289
00:14:08,676 --> 00:14:11,044
Look at my house here.
I own this.
290
00:14:11,112 --> 00:14:13,213
- That's cool, man.
- Yeah, it is cool.
291
00:14:13,281 --> 00:14:16,450
Because it tells me that
every day that I go to work,
292
00:14:16,518 --> 00:14:19,119
I get paid to do something I love
293
00:14:19,187 --> 00:14:22,489
with people that I love. Not many
people can say that.
294
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:24,958
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
295
00:14:25,026 --> 00:14:28,362
I love you, Radon.
Oh yeah.
296
00:14:28,429 --> 00:14:31,665
- I love you too, coach.
- Oh yeah, come over here.
297
00:14:31,733 --> 00:14:33,700
You know what?
And I love our team.
298
00:14:33,768 --> 00:14:35,402
I mean, I love our team too, coach.
299
00:14:35,470 --> 00:14:37,738
I mean, well, everybody
except the captain.
300
00:14:37,805 --> 00:14:39,973
The captain?
That's who I love the best.
301
00:14:40,041 --> 00:14:43,177
The thing about Thad is,
all he does is care.
302
00:14:43,244 --> 00:14:47,181
He'd light his mother on fire
if it would help us win a game.
303
00:14:47,248 --> 00:14:50,217
That's why he's the first sophomore
that I ever named captain.
304
00:14:50,285 --> 00:14:52,386
Well, I can't wait to be the second.
305
00:14:52,453 --> 00:14:54,154
I love you, Radon,
306
00:14:54,222 --> 00:14:55,856
but you're not captain material.
307
00:14:55,924 --> 00:14:57,824
A captain has to be selfless.
308
00:14:57,892 --> 00:14:59,560
And you're a great athlete,
309
00:14:59,627 --> 00:15:01,828
but all you care about is yourself.
310
00:15:04,199 --> 00:15:07,568
Okay, I'm gonna go under
for 30 seconds.
311
00:15:07,635 --> 00:15:09,136
( gas hisses )
312
00:15:09,204 --> 00:15:12,673
Okay, can't wait to see that.
313
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,541
Oh! I'm telling you,
314
00:15:14,609 --> 00:15:16,877
the smell of tailgating
is just irresistible,
315
00:15:16,945 --> 00:15:19,046
even to a badger.
316
00:15:19,113 --> 00:15:20,981
This is a great idea, Moran.
317
00:15:21,049 --> 00:15:22,883
Who knew you had it in you?
318
00:15:22,951 --> 00:15:24,952
We knew the badger
had a lot of vodka.
319
00:15:25,019 --> 00:15:26,887
The next logical step is hot dogs.
320
00:15:26,955 --> 00:15:28,956
Then when he passes out, bam,
321
00:15:29,023 --> 00:15:31,692
I'm eatin' his balls.
322
00:15:31,759 --> 00:15:33,961
- You know?
- Totally.
323
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,601
( sobs )
324
00:15:40,668 --> 00:15:42,669
Are you okay?
325
00:15:42,737 --> 00:15:45,839
- I'm a shitty captain.
- No, you're not.
326
00:15:45,907 --> 00:15:48,976
My team abandoned me.
I held that badger up
327
00:15:49,043 --> 00:15:51,144
in front of the entire team
328
00:15:51,212 --> 00:15:54,648
and said, "I'm gonna eat
this badger's balls."
329
00:15:54,716 --> 00:15:58,018
If I don't, no one's gonna follow
me on that field tomorrow.
330
00:15:58,086 --> 00:16:00,354
Look, don't cry, all right?
331
00:16:00,421 --> 00:16:02,322
Come on.
332
00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:04,558
I mean, there'll be other mascot...
333
00:16:04,626 --> 00:16:08,362
- balls you can eat.
- Whatever.
334
00:16:08,429 --> 00:16:12,165
Look, we're gonna find that badger
335
00:16:14,435 --> 00:16:17,738
and you're gonna eat his balls.
336
00:16:17,805 --> 00:16:21,275
And then you're gonna lead us
right out onto that field tomorrow.
337
00:16:23,378 --> 00:16:26,246
Right, captain?
338
00:16:26,314 --> 00:16:28,682
You really think so?
339
00:16:31,486 --> 00:16:33,287
The badger doesn't stand a chance.
340
00:16:44,246 --> 00:16:46,047
What in the--
341
00:16:46,114 --> 00:16:48,482
What up dough, Big J?
342
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:52,019
- Where's coach?
- Well... ( laughs )
343
00:16:57,826 --> 00:16:59,727
Jesus Christ, Marty!
344
00:17:02,664 --> 00:17:04,632
It's game time.
345
00:17:08,704 --> 00:17:11,272
All right, this is the one.
346
00:17:12,874 --> 00:17:15,042
( loud squelch )
347
00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,880
Well, I'm out of ideas.
348
00:17:19,948 --> 00:17:23,217
Big brother to the rescue
once again.
349
00:17:24,853 --> 00:17:26,921
Oh, and here we go.
350
00:17:26,988 --> 00:17:30,558
Shadda-bap bah-da. Bingo. Yeah.
351
00:17:30,625 --> 00:17:32,860
Oh, what do we got here?
352
00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:34,729
No no no, that's a bad idea.
353
00:17:34,796 --> 00:17:36,864
I can save this goat.
354
00:17:36,932 --> 00:17:39,166
You're just gonna have to trust
your big brother.
355
00:17:39,234 --> 00:17:40,801
Can you do that?
356
00:17:42,237 --> 00:17:44,772
One...
357
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,707
Two...
358
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:49,777
Three!
( bleats )
359
00:17:49,845 --> 00:17:52,513
- I did it, oh my God.
- I did it! Yes, I did it.
360
00:17:52,581 --> 00:17:55,116
- Mary Jo: We did it.
- Yeah! I did it!
361
00:17:55,183 --> 00:17:57,785
- I'm sorry.
- You owe me so much. I did it!
362
00:17:57,853 --> 00:17:59,854
- ( bleats )
- ( snarls )
363
00:18:02,524 --> 00:18:06,193
( both scream )
364
00:18:06,261 --> 00:18:10,131
Man on radio:
...A few hours away fromkickoff as this bitter rivalry
365
00:18:10,198 --> 00:18:12,933
adds another chapterto its colorful history.( cell phone ringing )
366
00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:15,336
Yes, football fans,the grudge between...
367
00:18:19,174 --> 00:18:21,876
Hey, Mary Jo, what's up?
368
00:18:21,943 --> 00:18:24,612
...Quarterback Radon Randelland Thad Castle stick it to...
369
00:18:24,679 --> 00:18:26,781
What?
370
00:18:26,848 --> 00:18:29,517
- Where's the badger?
- You just missed him.
371
00:18:29,584 --> 00:18:32,386
Holy shit!
372
00:18:32,454 --> 00:18:34,121
Did the badger do that?
373
00:18:34,189 --> 00:18:36,957
- Is that the goat?
- What's left of him.
374
00:18:37,025 --> 00:18:40,661
Oh, this is all my fault. The team
is gonna hate me so much.
375
00:18:40,729 --> 00:18:43,063
The team's gonna hate her even more.
376
00:18:43,131 --> 00:18:45,399
Wait a second.
377
00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:48,936
- We might be able to fix this.
- All: Really?
378
00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:51,572
No, not you two. We're good.
379
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,141
- We're good?
- She shouldn't be in charge of the mascot.
380
00:18:54,209 --> 00:18:56,110
It's just too much responsibility for her.
381
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,661
- How ya doing, coach?
- I feel great.
382
00:18:58,829 --> 00:19:02,864
That's the first good night's sleep
I've had before a game in 25 years.
383
00:19:02,932 --> 00:19:04,930
That's what I'm talking about--
me and Marty D.
384
00:19:05,068 --> 00:19:07,536
Gettin' sleep, savin' the world.
385
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:10,005
Hey hey, what happened last night,
386
00:19:10,073 --> 00:19:12,408
and what was said last night,
387
00:19:12,475 --> 00:19:15,144
that stays between you and me.
388
00:19:15,211 --> 00:19:16,645
Oh, of course, coach.
389
00:19:16,713 --> 00:19:18,414
Hey, but listen,
390
00:19:18,481 --> 00:19:20,749
if we win,
391
00:19:20,817 --> 00:19:22,985
I think you and I found a new ritual.
392
00:19:24,487 --> 00:19:26,255
Come on, coach.
393
00:19:26,323 --> 00:19:28,123
( mimics hiss )
394
00:19:28,191 --> 00:19:31,193
Players:
Eat the balls.Eat the balls!
395
00:19:31,261 --> 00:19:33,295
Eat the balls!
Eat the balls!
396
00:19:33,363 --> 00:19:36,298
They look a little big
to be badger balls.
397
00:19:36,366 --> 00:19:38,834
They look more like
donkey balls or sheep balls.
398
00:19:38,902 --> 00:19:41,704
Nope. This badger had big-ass balls.
399
00:19:41,771 --> 00:19:44,873
- That's why he was so hard to catch.
- What's going on here?
400
00:19:44,941 --> 00:19:46,842
Just cooking up some
badger balls, coach.
401
00:19:48,745 --> 00:19:50,913
Badger balls, Radon.
402
00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:53,515
Now that's a captain.
403
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:58,253
Yesterday, some of you lost faith
in me and it hurt,
404
00:19:58,321 --> 00:20:00,856
but I hope that this proves
I'm a captain worthy
405
00:20:00,924 --> 00:20:02,725
of leading you out on the field today.
406
00:20:02,792 --> 00:20:04,993
( all cheer )
407
00:20:10,233 --> 00:20:13,936
Now who's gonna eat
this other badger ball with me?
408
00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:15,537
Ooh.
409
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:18,974
I'll eat the other ball.
I'd be honored to.
410
00:20:19,042 --> 00:20:21,577
Thank you, Radon.
That's very nice of you.
411
00:20:21,644 --> 00:20:24,747
I now hereby award
this badger ball to...
412
00:20:26,182 --> 00:20:28,984
- Alex Moran!
- Yeah!
413
00:20:29,052 --> 00:20:31,453
( chanting )
Eat the balls!
Eat the balls!
414
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:33,021
- Are you serious right now?
- I'm begging you.
415
00:20:34,134 --> 00:20:37,036
- You owe me.
- I know
416
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:41,204
Eat the balls! Eat the balls!
Eat the balls!
417
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,522
( laughing )
418
00:20:50,455 --> 00:20:51,230
( gags, coughs )
419
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,500
Sync by Alex1969
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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