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1
00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:17,321
THE TOWER.
2
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,376
IS THAT A DILDO?
3
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:39,691
- Man: CAN YOU FEEL THAT?
4
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:47,177
YOU BETTER HOLD ON.
THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY.
5
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,875
♪ GIVE ME A HELL,
GIVE ME A YEAH ♪
6
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,094
♪ HELL YEAH
7
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,183
♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW
8
00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:56,839
♪ GIVE ME A HELL,
GIVE ME A YEAH ♪
9
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:59,102
♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW,
RIGHT NOW ♪
10
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:02,366
♪ GIVE ME A HELL,
GIVE ME A YEAH ♪
11
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,064
♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW.
12
00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:12,811
Radon:
WHY? 'CAUSE ONE BOWL A DAY
IS NOT GONNA KILL YOU.
13
00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:15,162
HEY.
THAT WAS PATHETIC.
14
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:17,164
WHAT DO YOU GUYS CALL
THAT SHIT OUT THERE, HUH?
15
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:21,168
- UH, WINNING?
- NO, THAT'S NOT WINNING.
THAT'S HANGING ON BY A PUBE.
16
00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:22,473
HE'S SUCH A WORDSMITH.
17
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:25,215
LUCKY FOR US,
WE HAVE A BYE WEEK COMING UP.
18
00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:28,653
NOW I SUGGEST YOU ALL
REFLECT A LITTLE BIT,
19
00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:32,179
THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED
TO DO TO BECOME A BETTER
FOOTBALL PLAYER.
20
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:34,442
THAD, IN MY OFFICE NOW!
21
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:39,011
- UH-OH.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S FINALLY HERE.
22
00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:41,666
- THE BYE WEEK PARTY.
- WE HAVE A PARTY EVERY WEEK.
23
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:45,496
NO NO NO, NOT LIKE THIS.
NO, THE BYE WEEK PARTY
GOES ON FOR DAYS.
24
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:48,064
YEAH, I MEAN,
ASIDE FROM MARDI GRAS,
25
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,240
HOMECOMING,
MARATHON MONDAY,
26
00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:53,591
HALLOWEEN, NEW YEARS,
ST. PATTY'S DAY
AND SPRING BREAK,
27
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:56,072
IT'S THE ONLY
THING I HAVE TO
LOOK FORWARD TO ANYMORE.
28
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,769
WHERE THE HELL WAS
YOUR HEAD TODAY?
29
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,902
YOU MISSED CALLS.
YOU MISSED TACKLES.
30
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:01,686
YOU ALMOST BLEW
THE GAME FOR US.
31
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:04,124
- I GOT A LOT
ON MY MIND, COACH.
- LIKE WHAT?
32
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:10,478
I'M THINKING ABOUT
LEAVING B.M.S. A YEAR
EARLY TO GO PRO.
33
00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:14,482
OH. WELL,
THAT'S A TOUGH CHOICE--
34
00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:17,180
TO STAY WITH THE PEOPLE
WHO GROOMED AND NURTURED YOU,
35
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:20,662
OR TO ABANDON
THEM FOR A BUNCH
OF SUPERFICIAL MONEY.
36
00:02:20,705 --> 00:02:22,707
I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
37
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,801
I LIKE TO KEEP THIS CLOSE
TO ME ALL THE TIME.
38
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,503
THAT'S THE DAY
YOU NAMED ME CAPTAIN.
39
00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:38,288
IT'S KIND OF EMBARRASSING,
40
00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:41,422
BUT I'VE ALWAYS HAD
THIS CRAZY NOTION
41
00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:45,121
THAT BECAUSE
YOU LOST YOUR DAD
42
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,777
AND MY SON IS
A GRADE-A SHITBIRD--
43
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,953
WELL, I ALWAYS
THOUGHT OF YOU
44
00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:54,174
AS THE SON
I WISH I HAD.
45
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:57,177
NOW I DON'T WANT THAT
TO INFLUENCE YOUR
DECISION AT ALL.
46
00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:00,615
IT WON'T, DAD.
47
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:05,272
PLEASE DON'T CALL ME DAD.
48
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:18,067
OOH-OOH!
BYE WEEK PARTY!
49
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,112
RADON'S IN THE HOUSE!
50
00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:23,246
I SAID, "OOH-OOH!"
51
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,640
Thad:
I CANCELLED
THE BYE WEEK PARTY.
52
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,860
- WAIT, WHAT?
YOU DID WHAT?
53
00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,993
I NEED TIME TO REFLECT
ON MY FUTURE--
54
00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:34,997
WHETHER OR NOT
TO STAY HERE ANOTHER YEAR
AT B.M.S. OR GO PRO?
55
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,304
DUDE, THAT'S
AN EASY DECISION, MAN.
56
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:40,481
GO PRO. MAKE THAT DOUGH.
NOW WHERE ARE THE GIRLS?
57
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:43,484
AGREED. GO.
WHY DON'T YOU GO PRO?
58
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,616
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
59
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,271
- JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
- WHY WOULD YOU CANCEL
THE BYE WEEK PARTY?
60
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,577
Sammy:
YOU DON'T EVEN
KNOW MY NAME.
61
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,667
Harmon:
VISION QUEST!
62
00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:56,671
YOU NEED TO GO ON
AN APACHE VISION QUEST.
63
00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:59,151
IT'S A JOURNEY
INTO THE INNER MIND,
64
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,284
A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING.
65
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:04,200
IT'S HOW I FIGURED OUT
WHICH SCHOOL TO GO TO.
66
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,202
I WENT INTO THE WOODS
AND FIVE DAYS LATER
67
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,292
A LITTLE SPIDER WITH
THE FACE OF JEFF GOLDBLUM SAID,
68
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,294
"GO TO B.M.S."
69
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,514
IT'S A SACRED TRADITION.
70
00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:16,778
HELL, EVEN JESUS WENT
ON A VISION QUEST--
71
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,214
40 DAYS IN THE DESERT.
72
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,652
- I DON'T HAVE 40 DAYS.
- OF COURSE YOU DON'T.
73
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:24,351
THAT'S WHAT DRUGS ARE FOR.
SOMEBODY GET MY SUITCASE.
74
00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:31,488
ALL RIGHT,
NUMBER ONE, MUSHROOMS--
75
00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:33,403
THOSE'LL OPEN
THE DOOR PART WAY.
76
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:36,014
NUMBER TWO,
BLACK MATILDA,
77
00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:38,147
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS PEYOTE.
78
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:42,064
A LITTLE BIT OF THAT
AND THAT DOOR WILL SWING
WIDE OPEN FOR YOU.
79
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:44,806
AND THEN...
80
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:47,374
AYAHUASCA,
81
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:51,334
A SPECIAL BLEND OF SHRUBS
FROM THE VENEZUELAN JUNGLE.
82
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,728
THIS SHIT WON'T
JUST OPEN THE DOOR.
83
00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:56,208
IT'LL BLOW
THE GODDAMN HINGES OFF.
84
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,648
I ALSO HAD SOME D.M.T.
IN HERE,
85
00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:03,172
BUT I MAY HAVE DONE THAT
ON THE WEEKEND.
86
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:06,697
NOW WE CAN JUST MIX UP
SOME TURPENTINE--
87
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,310
WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?
88
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,268
WHAT?
89
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,270
THAT WAS ENOUGH DRUGS
90
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,490
TO LAST ALL OF US
THE REST OF THE WEEK.
91
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,274
I GOT A LOT
TO THINK ABOUT.
92
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,103
OKAY, WE HAVE TO LEAVE.
93
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,280
- I WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
- NO, YOU DON'T.
94
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,327
WE GOTTA LOCK ALL
THE DOORS AND THE WINDOWS
95
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,329
AND PACK UP EVERYTHING THAT
COULD BE TRACED BACK TO US.
96
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:30,939
- Alex: REALLY?
- Harmon: NOW! COME ON.
97
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,862
I THINK I CAN HANDLE
A FEW PLANTS!
98
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:50,175
I'M OKAY.
I'M OKAY.
99
00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,186
HELLO?
100
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,237
- ANYONE THERE?
- Sammy's voice: SHIT!
101
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,108
SHIT. I'M LATE
FOR THE PARTY.
102
00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:13,111
I CANCELED
THE PARTY.
103
00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:16,245
NOT THAT PARTY, YOU IDIOT.
THE REAL PARTY IN THE WOODS.
104
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:20,031
- WHO ARE YOU?
- I'M THE SPIRIT
OF B.M.S.! OOH-OOH!
105
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:22,251
ARE YOU HERE TO HELP ME
MAKE SENSE OF MY LIFE?
106
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,209
I DON'T MAKE SENSE, SON.
I MAKE DOLLARS.
107
00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:26,734
IF YOU WANNA MAKE SENSE
OF YOUR LIFE, YOU GOTTA
GET TO THE TOWER.
108
00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:29,998
- WHAT TOWER?
- THE FRIGGIN' TOWER
IN THE WOODS.
109
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,304
JESUS! LISTEN,
YOU JUST GOTTA
GO TO IT, OKAY?
110
00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,437
THAT'S ALL I KNOW.
YOU'RE GONNA NEED THIS.
111
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,222
OKAY? TAKE IT.
TAKE IT EASY.
I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
112
00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:39,834
- SEE YOU LATER.
- LUBE? WHAT'S THIS FOR?
113
00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:43,664
IS SOMETHING BAD
GONNA HAPPEN?
114
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:46,231
JOHNNY FRIGGIN' QUESTIONS
OVER HERE. YOU'RE GONNA
NEED IT. TRUST ME, OKAY?
115
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,233
I'VE GOT TO GET
TO THE PARTY. I'M LATE.
116
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:50,497
WAIT. HOW DO I GET
TO THE TOWER?
117
00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:01,508
DO I GO THIS WAY?!
118
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,469
HELLO?
119
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,733
HELLO?
120
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:12,083
I'M LOOKING
FOR A TOWER.
121
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,100
RADON? OH, THANK GOD.
122
00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:31,799
THERE'S A CHINESE
GUY IN THE WOODS.
HE'S BEEN EYEBALLING ME.
123
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,365
SHUT UP AND LISTEN.
124
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:36,934
RADON THE INCOMPARABLE
HAS SPOKEN.
125
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:38,849
THERE'S SOMETHING
I NEED TO SHOW YOU.
126
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:42,331
- WHAT IS IT?
- JUST A LITTLE
SOMETHING CALLED
127
00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:44,986
YOUR FUTURE.
128
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,121
Boy #1: GET OUT OF MY WAY, DICK FACE.
129
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,558
Boy #2:
NO, YOU GET OUT
OF MY WAY, DICK FACE.
130
00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:53,995
NO, YOU GET OUT
OF MY WAY, DICK FACE.
131
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,866
NO, YOU GET OUT
OF MY WAY, DICK FACE.
132
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:58,347
BRAD, CHAD,
133
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,915
BOTH OF YOU SHUT
YOUR DICK FACES UP!
134
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:04,527
- DADDY'S WATCHING TV!
- Boys: MOM.
135
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:07,443
KIDS, YOU HEARD YOUR FATHER.
SHUT YOUR DICK FACES.
136
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,187
Both the clown and pony
were pronounced dead
137
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:15,756
at the scene.
So sad.
138
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,759
In other news,
Thad Castle signed
a record-breaking deal today
139
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:22,414
for $10 billion,
a pro football record.
140
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:25,940
It's a good thing he left
B.M.S. a year early to go pro.
141
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:29,160
- Ding.
142
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:33,164
There's only one thing that
can quench my monster thirst,
143
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:36,428
and that's Thad Cola.
144
00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,343
So what's the deal
with airplane food?
145
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:41,564
- It tastes shitty, right?
146
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,914
IT'S GOOD THING
YOU LEFT B.M.S. A YEAR EARLY.
147
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,047
OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD HAVE
BEEN HURT BY THAT TORNADO
148
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:48,353
THAT WIPED OUT
THE ENTIRECAMPUS.
149
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,747
GOD DAMN IT, STACY,
150
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:54,011
SOMETIMES I WISH
I'D BEEN IN THAT TORNADO,
151
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:57,928
THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO LISTEN
TO YOU YAPALL DAY!
152
00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,365
GET ME ANOTHER THAD.
153
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:04,456
MARCH, WOMAN!
154
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:08,243
AND MAKE ME
A HAM SANDWICH.
155
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:13,335
I'M GONNA MARRY
STACY KEIBLER?
156
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:17,382
YEP, BUT YOU
HAVE TO GO PRO.
IT'S YOUR DESTINY.
157
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,820
THERE'S GONNA BE PEOPLE
THAT TRY AND STOP YOU.
158
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,430
DON'T TRUST ANYONE.
159
00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:23,214
HOW DO I KNOW
I CAN TRUST YOU?
160
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:24,651
YOU JUST HAVE TO
TRUST ME.
161
00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:26,348
FAIR ENOUGH.
162
00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:29,481
HERE,
TAKE THIS WITH YOU.
163
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:34,312
DON'T OPEN IT.
NOW'S NOT THE TIME.
164
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:38,316
- WHEN THEN?
- LISTEN, THIS IS
VERY IMPORTANT.
165
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,276
THERE WILL COME
A TIME WHEN--
166
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:46,629
OH, SHIT!
THEY HEARD US.
167
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,413
OH, NO, THEY'RE GONNA
TRY AND STOP YOU.
168
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:51,416
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- RUN, THAD!
169
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,244
GET TO THE TOWER.
170
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:57,945
♪ YOUR VISION IS DOMINATED BY
A CHEERLEADER'S BREAST ♪
171
00:09:57,988 --> 00:10:00,948
♪ YO, WE'RE NOT GAY, HOMIE,
IS YOU HOOKED ON PHONICS? ♪
172
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:03,472
♪ EVEN IF AT TIMES OUR ACTIONS
MAY SEEM HOMOEROTIC ♪
173
00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:07,650
♪ YO, BITCH, IT'S LARRY,
WITH SMOOTHER MOVES THAN
BARRY SANDERS... ♪
174
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,304
LARRY?
175
00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:12,481
HEY, YOU MADE IT! WOW!
WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG, BUDDY?
176
00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:13,830
WELCOME TO THE BEST
PARTY EVER.
177
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:16,224
I CAN'T PARTY.
I GOTTA GET TO THE TOWER.
178
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:31,805
- MOJITO?
- MY FAVE.
179
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:35,460
- WOULD YOU LIKE A MASSAGE?
- SHIT, YEAH!
180
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,377
IS THIS WHAT
THE LUBE IS FOR?
181
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:42,554
Both:
IT IS NOW.
182
00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:45,645
HEY, GREAT VISION QUEST, MAN.
I JUST BANGED THE TOOTH FAIRY
183
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,256
ON A BEARSKIN RUG.
YEAH, SHE'S WILD.
184
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:51,694
- SWEET!
- THAD.
185
00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,217
HEY, THAD,
YOU CAN'T BE HERE, ALL RIGHT?
186
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:55,176
YOU KNOW, THIS PLACE
WILL SWALLOW YOU IN.
187
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:57,569
YOU GOTTA KEEP GOING
ON YOUR QUEST.
188
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:59,876
- OH, SHIT, MY VISION QUEST!
- RIGHT.
189
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:05,273
YOU'RE NOT ON A QUEST
ANYMORE, MR. CASTLE.
190
00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:08,145
YOU'RE HOME.
191
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,278
NO NO NO NO.
HE'S GONNA GO PRO.
192
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:13,281
WHAT IF HE'S NOT
GOOD ENOUGH TO GO PRO?
193
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:14,761
AS IF.
194
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:17,372
OH, IT HAPPENS
ALL THE TIME.
195
00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:20,680
A GREAT COLLEGE
ATHLETE TURNS PRO
196
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:24,292
ONLY TO REALIZE HE JUST CAN'T
COMPETE AT THE NEXT LEVEL.
197
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,163
THAT'S NOT GONNA
HAPPEN TO HIM.
198
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,643
WELL, WHY RISK IT?
199
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,820
WHEN YOU COULD
JUST STAY AT B.M.S.
200
00:11:30,864 --> 00:11:33,388
AND BE A LEGEND.
201
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,390
- A LEGEND?
- UH-HUH.
202
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,348
DON'T LISTEN TO HER.
DON'T LISTEN TO HER.
203
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:41,265
A LEGEND.
YOU DON'T WANT
TO LEAVE US.
204
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:44,007
IT'S SAFE HERE.
205
00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:47,750
NOW GO TO SLEEP,
LITTLE BOY,
206
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,534
AND DREAM ABOUT A WORLD
207
00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:51,754
WITH NO PAIN.
208
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,756
NO PAIN.
209
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:07,378
LUBE'S GONE.
210
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,729
MUST HAVE BEEN
A GOOD NIGHT.
211
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,606
HOW LONG HAVE
I BEEN ASLEEP?
212
00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:20,740
WHERE HAS
MY LIFE GONE?
213
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:23,220
I'M OLD.
I'VE ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING.
214
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:29,444
- DON'T GO.
- WE'RE SO HAPPY TOGETHER.
215
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:33,187
GOODBYE, CHEERLEADERS.
I'LL VISIT EACH OF YOU
IN MY DREAMS
216
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,842
AND DO REALLY
AWESOME STUFF TO YOU.
217
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:02,042
MY 10th BIRTHDAY PARTY.
218
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,565
THESE PRESENTS ARE CRAP.
219
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:06,307
YOU A-WIPES SHOULD
LEARN HOW TO SHOP.
220
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:09,440
OH, GREAT.
A PRESENT FROM GRANDMA.
221
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:14,097
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
222
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:20,582
YOU DIDN'T MESS IT
UP THIS TIME, GRANDMA.
I LOVE YOU.
223
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:24,325
- GOD, I WAS SUCH
AN ADORABLE KID.
- Man: YOU STILL ARE.
224
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:26,936
DAD?
225
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:29,634
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THAD?
226
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,289
THIS FOOTBALL TEAM
IS YOUR FAMILY.
227
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:35,205
BUT IF I GO PRO,
I'LL MAKE A BILLION DOLLARS
228
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,294
AND I'LL GET
TO BONE STACY KEIBLER.
229
00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:39,079
THAT'S A SOLID ARGUMENT.
230
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,867
I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
231
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,652
AND DON'T WORRY.
I'VE KEPT OKSANA SAFE.
232
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:50,699
THAT'S GOOD.
A BROTHER MUST TAKE
CARE OF HIS SISTER.
233
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:55,095
OKSANA'S NOT MY SISTER.
OKSANA IS MY POCKET PUSSY.
234
00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,879
IT USED TO BE YOURS.
235
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,403
WHAT THE HELL IS
A POCKET PUSSY?
236
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:01,884
YOU'RE NOT MY DAD.
237
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:13,156
GOOD TO SEE YOU, SON.
238
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:29,085
YOU THINK
YOU CAN LEAVE ME?
239
00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:30,478
I MADE YOU.
240
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:33,829
NOBODY LEAVES ME.
241
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:37,485
YOU'RE STAYING
AT B.M.S. FOREVER.
242
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,445
LARRY, RADON!
243
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:43,143
QUICK, FOLLOW ME.
244
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,579
DON'T TRUST HIM.
245
00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:46,407
THINK ABOUT
YOUR FUTURE, THAD.
246
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:47,843
Larry: WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. LET'S GO.
247
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,497
NO, IT'S A TRAP.
248
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,850
Radon:
REMEMBER THE BOX.
249
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:04,120
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE
PUT SOME WHEELS
ON THIS THING.
250
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:13,564
LARRY,
YOU TRICKED ME!
251
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:17,090
I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
I WANT YOU TO STAY
AT B.M.S. WITH ME.
252
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,398
FOREVER.
253
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:23,661
- WHAT?
- YOU'RE ONE OF US, THAD.
254
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:26,534
- NO!
- Larry: YOU'RE ONE OF US.
255
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:29,058
ONE OF US.
256
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:32,192
ONE OF US!
257
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:36,326
OKSANA!
258
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:39,677
NO, HIS POCKET PUSSY,
259
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:43,725
THE SOURCE
OF ALL HIS POWER!
260
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:06,182
THE TOWER.
261
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:12,101
DON'T LET HIM
GET AWAY.
262
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,500
IS THAT A DILDO?
263
00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:22,285
SOMEBODY LET ME IN.
HELP!
264
00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,684
DO I JACK IT OFF?
265
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:42,610
Man: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
266
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,742
I'M TRYING
TO OPEN THE DOOR.
267
00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:47,441
USE THE POCKET PUSSY.
268
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:54,491
IT'S TOO DRY.
IT'S TOO DRY!
269
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,667
SHIT, BRO.
I DON'T KNOW.
270
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:02,021
THE LUBE.
THE LUBE.
271
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:06,373
OH, SHIT,
IT'S ALMOST GONE.
272
00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:08,636
OKAY.
273
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,638
COME ON.
274
00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:13,467
THERE HE IS!
275
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,643
COME ON.
276
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,491
Thad:
HELLO?
277
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,364
HELLO?
278
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,802
GUYS?
279
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,241
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
280
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,982
I CAME HERE FOR ANSWERS,
NOT A DOUCHE BAG CONVENTION.
281
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:53,768
AND YOU FOUND
ANSWERS, THAD.
282
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:59,121
- THAD?
- HELLO, THAD.
283
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,123
OH, MAN.
284
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:04,518
NOW I'M MORE CONFUSED
THAN I WAS BEFORE I STARTED.
285
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,824
Thad #2:
ARE YOU, THAD?
286
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:10,350
LOOK BACK ON YOUR JOURNEY.
IN ALL THAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH
AND ALL THAT YOU'VE SEEN,
287
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:13,092
WHAT WAS THE ONLY
TRUE MOMENT?
288
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:27,454
MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
289
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:30,674
THAT JERSEY WAS
THE GREATEST PRESENT
I EVER GOT.
290
00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:33,547
IT MADE ME LOVE
MY GRANDMA AGAIN.
291
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:36,245
B.M.S. IS NOT JUST
YOUR HOME OR YOUR FAMILY.
292
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,595
IT'S YOU.
IT'S IN YOUR HEART.
293
00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:40,597
IT WAS THERE
WHEN YOU WERE 10,
IT'S THERE NOW
294
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:43,383
AND IT'LL BE THERE
WHEN YOU'RE 90.
295
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,907
NO ONE CAN PREDICT
THE FUTURE.
296
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:49,171
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.
WHAT IS IT TELLING YOU?
297
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,053
TWO DOORS,
TWO FUTURES.
298
00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:04,143
THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
299
00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:27,949
Harmon:
THE DRUGS SHOULD
HAVE WORN OFF BY NOW.
300
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:30,081
HE SHOULD BE FINE...
301
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:33,911
OR VERY VERY DEAD.
302
00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:37,437
- THAD.
- HELP ME!
303
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:41,441
OH SHIT.
304
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:48,796
GET ME OUT OF HERE.
305
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:56,020
Thad:
AND YOU WERE THERE.
AND YOU. AND YOU.
306
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:58,240
AND YOU.
307
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,808
AND YOU SHOWED ME
MY FUTURE FROM
A WOODEN BOX,
308
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:03,898
I HAD MY OWN
STAND UP COMEDY SPECIAL.
309
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,248
AND THERE WAS THIS TOWER
IN THE WOODS WITH A DILDO
FOR A DOORKNOB
310
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:08,250
AND I TRIED TO OPEN IT
WITH MY MOUTH,
311
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:11,949
BUT THIS CHINESE GUY
FROM THE WOODS TOLD ME
TO USE MY POCKET PUSSY INSTEAD.
312
00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:14,517
I MET MYSELF
ON THE OTHER SIDE.
313
00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:17,651
WOW! AT LEAST ONE
OF US GOT TO PARTY.
SO WHAT DID YOU DECIDE?
314
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:19,609
YEAH, MAN.
YOU'RE GOING PRO, RIGHT?
315
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,002
YOU'RE STAYING
ANOTHER YEAR, RIGHT?
316
00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:23,483
I REALLY THOUGHT
ABOUT THIS HARD
FROM EVERY SIDE,
317
00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:26,529
BUT ULTIMATELY I REALIZED
318
00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:29,706
- B.M.S. MEANS
EVERYTHING TO ME.
- Radon: MAN!
319
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:32,100
BUT THEN I REMEMBERED
THAT I GET TO MARRY
320
00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:33,710
STACY KEIBLER IF I GO PRO,
321
00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:36,017
- SO I'M GOING PRO.
- YES!
322
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:38,541
PLUS, LARRY, YOU WERE
A HUGE PRICK TO ME
323
00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:39,977
AND SO WERE THE COACHES.
324
00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:42,153
- BUT THAT WAS
JUST A DREAM.
- WHATEVS.
325
00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:43,981
YOU GUYS ARE ALL JERKS.
326
00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:46,767
GOOD LUCK IN THE TORNADO
NEXT YEAR, A-HOLES.
327
00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:55,471
♪ B.M.S., WHERE THE BITCHES
ARE SO FINE ♪
328
00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:58,082
♪ AND THE DRUGS,
THEY FLOW LIKE WATER ♪
329
00:20:58,126 --> 00:21:00,737
♪ GOT BLUE MOUNTAIN
STATE OF MIND ♪
330
00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:03,566
♪ I'M TALKING B.M.S.
331
00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:06,830
♪ WHERE THE BITCHES
ARE SO FINE ♪
332
00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:09,311
♪ AND THE DRUGS,
THEY FLOW LIKE WATER ♪
333
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:13,272
♪ GOT BLUE MOUNTAIN
STATE OF MIND ♪
334
00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:15,752
♪ COME AND ARREST ME,
Y'ALL BE DEPRESSED ♪
335
00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:18,842
♪ I'M THAT CANADIAN THAT SKATE
ON 'EM LIKE GRETZKY ♪
336
00:21:18,886 --> 00:21:22,759
♪ B.M.S., JUST LIKE A VISION
QUEST EXCEPT YA VISION'S
DOMINATED... ♪
24747
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