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Do you guys remember how before we had a

Do you guys remember how before we had a

Do you guys remember how before we had a president who was an old man who said

president who was an old man who said

president who was an old man who said crazy things? We had a president who was

crazy things? We had a president who was

crazy things? We had a president who was an old man who said crazy things. Well,

an old man who said crazy things. Well,

an old man who said crazy things. Well, Joe Biden's not the president anymore,

Joe Biden's not the president anymore,

Joe Biden's not the president anymore, but he is still very old.

but he is still very old.

but he is still very old. >> At an event at Syracuse University

>> At an event at Syracuse University

>> At an event at Syracuse University yesterday, former President Joe Biden

yesterday, former President Joe Biden

yesterday, former President Joe Biden called out a man who he thought looked

called out a man who he thought looked

called out a man who he thought looked like Barack Obama.

like Barack Obama.

like Barack Obama. >> And by the way, uh I always want to turn

>> And by the way, uh I always want to turn

>> And by the way, uh I always want to turn around one guy and say, "Uh, Barack,

around one guy and say, "Uh, Barack,

around one guy and say, "Uh, Barack, what are you doing?

what are you doing?

what are you doing? Come here. Come here. Come here.

Come here. Come here. Come here.

Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here.

Come here. Come here.

Come here. Come here. >> Oh no.

>> Oh no.

>> Oh no. How bad is this going to be? Like Like I

How bad is this going to be? Like Like I

How bad is this going to be? Like Like I I hope he's not just pointing to some

I hope he's not just pointing to some

I hope he's not just pointing to some black guy. But

black guy. But

black guy. But but I also hope it's at least a black

but I also hope it's at least a black

but I also hope it's at least a black guy. You know what I mean? Like

guy. You know what I mean? Like

guy. You know what I mean? Like >> Oh my god. Please let him look like

>> Oh my god. Please let him look like

>> Oh my god. Please let him look like Obama. Please let him look like Obama.

>> I feel like he should be standing on the

>> I feel like he should be standing on the

>> I feel like he should be standing on the right and I should be standing on the

right and I should be standing on the

right and I should be standing on the left.

left.

left. Oh, thank God.

Close enough.

Close enough.

Close enough. I mean, I'm not I'm not saying he looks

I mean, I'm not I'm not saying he looks

I mean, I'm not I'm not saying he looks a lot like Obama, but it's in the

a lot like Obama, but it's in the

a lot like Obama, but it's in the ballpark.

ballpark.

ballpark. I thought for sure it was going to be

I thought for sure it was going to be

I thought for sure it was going to be like Lil Wayne or something.

like Lil Wayne or something.

like Lil Wayne or something. In fact, I I don't know how to explain

In fact, I I don't know how to explain

In fact, I I don't know how to explain this, but uh somehow that guy looks more

this, but uh somehow that guy looks more

this, but uh somehow that guy looks more like Obama than Joe Biden looks like Joe

like Obama than Joe Biden looks like Joe

like Obama than Joe Biden looks like Joe Biden.

But still, uh, what a high-risk,

But still, uh, what a high-risk,

But still, uh, what a high-risk, lowreward move that was.

lowreward move that was.

lowreward move that was. I mean, at best, the audience is like,

I mean, at best, the audience is like,

I mean, at best, the audience is like, "Oh, yeah. I guess I can see it." And

"Oh, yeah. I guess I can see it." And

"Oh, yeah. I guess I can see it." And and at worst is they send you off to a

and at worst is they send you off to a

and at worst is they send you off to a nursing home for racists.

nursing home for racists.

nursing home for racists. Speaking of a nursing home for racist,

Speaking of a nursing home for racist,

Speaking of a nursing home for racist, let's check in with the White House to

let's check in with the White House to

let's check in with the White House to see how our to see how our current

see how our to see how our current

see how our to see how our current president is doing. Good thing America's

president is doing. Good thing America's

president is doing. Good thing America's pre-minent TV doctor, Dr. Oz, is keeping

pre-minent TV doctor, Dr. Oz, is keeping

pre-minent TV doctor, Dr. Oz, is keeping an eye on Trump's health.

an eye on Trump's health.

an eye on Trump's health. >> Your dad argues that diet soda is good

>> Your dad argues that diet soda is good

>> Your dad argues that diet soda is good for him because it kills grass. It's

for him because it kills grass. It's

for him because it kills grass. It's poured on grass, so therefore must kill

poured on grass, so therefore must kill

poured on grass, so therefore must kill cancer cells inside the body. So, he'll

cancer cells inside the body. So, he'll

cancer cells inside the body. So, he'll try to please.

>> Diet coke kills grass, so diet coke must

>> Diet coke kills grass, so diet coke must

>> Diet coke kills grass, so diet coke must be good for me is a crazy theory.

be good for me is a crazy theory.

be good for me is a crazy theory. like this kills plants, so safe to

like this kills plants, so safe to

like this kills plants, so safe to assume it'll kill cancer cells and not

assume it'll kill cancer cells and not

assume it'll kill cancer cells and not everything else in my body is flawless

everything else in my body is flawless

everything else in my body is flawless logic.

logic.

logic. Also, why does he think that diet soda

Also, why does he think that diet soda

Also, why does he think that diet soda kills grass? That's that's not a thing.

kills grass? That's that's not a thing.

kills grass? That's that's not a thing. Like, are we sure he hasn't accidentally

Like, are we sure he hasn't accidentally

Like, are we sure he hasn't accidentally been drinking Roundup? Like,

that would explain a lot actually. Um,

that would explain a lot actually. Um,

that would explain a lot actually. Um, by the way, I love how Don Jr. just

by the way, I love how Don Jr. just

by the way, I love how Don Jr. just laughs at this. Like if someone told me

laughs at this. Like if someone told me

laughs at this. Like if someone told me this about my dad, I'd be concerned.

this about my dad, I'd be concerned.

this about my dad, I'd be concerned. But Don Junior's just like, "Oh yeah,

But Don Junior's just like, "Oh yeah,

But Don Junior's just like, "Oh yeah, yeah, my dad's brain sure is bad."

yeah, my dad's brain sure is bad."

yeah, my dad's brain sure is bad." But let's move on because having a body

But let's move on because having a body

But let's move on because having a body that's 80% diet coke isn't Trump's only

that's 80% diet coke isn't Trump's only

that's 80% diet coke isn't Trump's only problem right now. Recent polls show

problem right now. Recent polls show

problem right now. Recent polls show that young Republicans are starting to

that young Republicans are starting to

that young Republicans are starting to turn on Trump, especially over the war

turn on Trump, especially over the war

turn on Trump, especially over the war with Iran. But Donald Trump is not

with Iran. But Donald Trump is not

with Iran. But Donald Trump is not worried because he's got the one guy who

worried because he's got the one guy who

worried because he's got the one guy who has the ris to Trump max Gen Z again.

has the ris to Trump max Gen Z again.

has the ris to Trump max Gen Z again. Talking about Vice President JD Vance

Talking about Vice President JD Vance

Talking about Vice President JD Vance yesterday. He went to a TPUSA event and

yesterday. He went to a TPUSA event and

yesterday. He went to a TPUSA event and just look at the pack crowd that came

just look at the pack crowd that came

just look at the pack crowd that came out to see him. Oh my god. Have you ever

out to see him. Oh my god. Have you ever

out to see him. Oh my god. Have you ever seen such a handful of people?

seen such a handful of people?

seen such a handful of people? It's very nice of turning point to

It's very nice of turning point to

It's very nice of turning point to institute COVID rules six years too

institute COVID rules six years too

institute COVID rules six years too late. BUT JD

BUT JD VANCE managed to inspire the

BUT JD VANCE managed to inspire the

BUT JD VANCE managed to inspire the crowd with his stirring message of

crowd with his stirring message of

crowd with his stirring message of please don't leave me.

please don't leave me.

please don't leave me. >> I recognize uh that that that a lot of

>> I recognize uh that that that a lot of

>> I recognize uh that that that a lot of young voters don't love the policy that

young voters don't love the policy that

young voters don't love the policy that we have in the Middle East. Okay, I

we have in the Middle East. Okay, I

we have in the Middle East. Okay, I understand that. What I'm saying is

understand that. What I'm saying is

understand that. What I'm saying is don't get disengaged because you

don't get disengaged because you

don't get disengaged because you disagree with the administration on one

disagree with the administration on one

disagree with the administration on one topic. Get more involved. make your

topic. Get more involved. make your

topic. Get more involved. make your voice heard even more. That's how we

voice heard even more. That's how we

voice heard even more. That's how we ultimately take the country back.

ultimately take the country back.

ultimately take the country back. >> Yeah,

>> Yeah,

>> Yeah, that's right, JD. It's time to take the

that's right, JD. It's time to take the

that's right, JD. It's time to take the country back from yourself. Like, what

country back from yourself. Like, what

country back from yourself. Like, what what are you talking about? Take taking

what are you talking about? Take taking

what are you talking about? Take taking back from what? Republicans have

back from what? Republicans have

back from what? Republicans have everything. Republicans control the

everything. Republicans control the

everything. Republicans control the Congress, the White House, the Supreme

Congress, the White House, the Supreme

Congress, the White House, the Supreme Court, old media, social media. You even

Court, old media, social media. You even

Court, old media, social media. You even took a candidate. I mean

took a candidate. I mean

took a candidate. I mean I mean you can keep him but you still

I mean you can keep him but you still

I mean you can keep him but you still took him that at at this point

took him that at at this point

took him that at at this point why

you're fighting the establishment. You

you're fighting the establishment. You

you're fighting the establishment. You are the establishment buddy at this

are the establishment buddy at this

are the establishment buddy at this point. Liberals are like all we have

point. Liberals are like all we have

point. Liberals are like all we have left is blue sky and we hate that.

left is blue sky and we hate that.

left is blue sky and we hate that. But young conservatives aren't just mad

But young conservatives aren't just mad

But young conservatives aren't just mad at Trump because of the war. They're

at Trump because of the war. They're

at Trump because of the war. They're also mad about the thing he started the

also mad about the thing he started the

also mad about the thing he started the war to distract us from the Epstein

war to distract us from the Epstein

war to distract us from the Epstein files. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah.

files. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah.

files. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. Well, you know what? The streets still

Well, you know what? The streets still

Well, you know what? The streets still have questions. But JD Vance tried to

have questions. But JD Vance tried to

have questions. But JD Vance tried to bail Trump out of that one, too.

bail Trump out of that one, too.

bail Trump out of that one, too. >> When Donald Trump says when the

>> When Donald Trump says when the

>> When Donald Trump says when the president says this is a hoax, he's not

president says this is a hoax, he's not

president says this is a hoax, he's not saying it's a hoax that Epstein was the

saying it's a hoax that Epstein was the

saying it's a hoax that Epstein was the scumbag. He's saying this Democratic

scumbag. He's saying this Democratic

scumbag. He's saying this Democratic idea that somehow he was Epstein's best

idea that somehow he was Epstein's best

idea that somehow he was Epstein's best friend. Jeffrey Epstein hated Donald

friend. Jeffrey Epstein hated Donald

friend. Jeffrey Epstein hated Donald Trump and Donald Trump hated Jeffrey

Trump and Donald Trump hated Jeffrey

Trump and Donald Trump hated Jeffrey Epste.

Epste.

Epste. >> Yeah,

>> Yeah,

>> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trump and Epstein always

yeah, yeah. Trump and Epstein always

yeah, yeah. Trump and Epstein always hated each other. We all remember that

hated each other. We all remember that

hated each other. We all remember that famous video of them.

famous video of them.

famous video of them. >> Everyone here is my friend except you. I

>> Everyone here is my friend except you. I

>> Everyone here is my friend except you. I hate you. I hate you, too.

hate you. I hate you, too.

hate you. I hate you, too. >> You're a sick pervert. I hate you so

>> You're a sick pervert. I hate you so

>> You're a sick pervert. I hate you so much. Go leave.

much. Go leave.

much. Go leave. Kill yourself.

case closed.

case closed.

case closed. >> BUT THE

but the big issue JD Vance had to

but the big issue JD Vance had to

but the big issue JD Vance had to address was Donald Trump's weekl long

address was Donald Trump's weekl long

address was Donald Trump's weekl long beef with the Pope, which is a

beef with the Pope, which is a

beef with the Pope, which is a completely normal sentence in 2026.

completely normal sentence in 2026.

completely normal sentence in 2026. You see, the Pope's position is that

You see, the Pope's position is that

You see, the Pope's position is that peace is good. And Donald Trump's

peace is good. And Donald Trump's

peace is good. And Donald Trump's position is that he is Jesus Christ. So

position is that he is Jesus Christ. So

position is that he is Jesus Christ. So JD Vance had to go out there in front of

JD Vance had to go out there in front of

JD Vance had to go out there in front of literally dozens of people and

literally dozens of people and

literally dozens of people and and tried to argue that the pope was

and tried to argue that the pope was

and tried to argue that the pope was wrong and AI Jesus was right. The Pope's

wrong and AI Jesus was right. The Pope's

wrong and AI Jesus was right. The Pope's job is to preach the gospel. When the

job is to preach the gospel. When the

job is to preach the gospel. When the Pope says that God is never on the side

Pope says that God is never on the side

Pope says that God is never on the side of those who wield the sword, there is a

of those who wield the sword, there is a

of those who wield the sword, there is a thousand-year more than a thousand-year

thousand-year more than a thousand-year

thousand-year more than a thousand-year tradition of just war theory. Was God on

tradition of just war theory. Was God on

tradition of just war theory. Was God on the side of the Americans who liberated

the side of the Americans who liberated

the side of the Americans who liberated France from the Nazis? I think it's very

France from the Nazis? I think it's very

France from the Nazis? I think it's very very important for the Pope to be

very important for the Pope to be

very important for the Pope to be careful when he talks about matters of

careful when he talks about matters of

careful when he talks about matters of theology.

theology.

theology. >> Yeah.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. He's right.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. He's right.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. He's right. You got to be careful when you talk

You got to be careful when you talk

You got to be careful when you talk about theology.

Pope,

Pope,

Pope, let let me remind you guys that what the

let let me remind you guys that what the

let let me remind you guys that what the Pope basically said was, "War is bad.

Pope basically said was, "War is bad.

Pope basically said was, "War is bad. That's not controversial." All right?

That's not controversial." All right?

That's not controversial." All right? It's literally the Pope's job to say

It's literally the Pope's job to say

It's literally the Pope's job to say things like that. That's like if Miss

things like that. That's like if Miss

things like that. That's like if Miss America wished for world peace and JD

America wished for world peace and JD

America wished for world peace and JD Vance burst on stage and was like, "Oh

Vance burst on stage and was like, "Oh

Vance burst on stage and was like, "Oh yeah, even with Hitler.

yeah, even with Hitler.

yeah, even with Hitler. Stay in your lane, bitch."

Stay in your lane, bitch."

Stay in your lane, bitch." This is why I don't get about guys like

This is why I don't get about guys like

This is why I don't get about guys like JD Vance, okay? How come you have no

JD Vance, okay? How come you have no

JD Vance, okay? How come you have no problem when the pope weighs in on

problem when the pope weighs in on

problem when the pope weighs in on abortion policy, but when he weighs in

abortion policy, but when he weighs in

abortion policy, but when he weighs in on your foreign policy, you freak out? I

on your foreign policy, you freak out? I

on your foreign policy, you freak out? I mean, wasn't assassinating the Ayatollah

mean, wasn't assassinating the Ayatollah

mean, wasn't assassinating the Ayatollah just a very, very, very late term

just a very, very, very late term

just a very, very, very late term abortion? I mean, the the man was in his

abortion? I mean, the the man was in his

abortion? I mean, the the man was in his 258th trimester, right?

258th trimester, right?

258th trimester, right? But fine, the Pope said his thing, JD

But fine, the Pope said his thing, JD

But fine, the Pope said his thing, JD Vance said his thing, and let's just put

Vance said his thing, and let's just put

Vance said his thing, and let's just put this thing to bed, okay? No more Jesus

this thing to bed, okay? No more Jesus

this thing to bed, okay? No more Jesus stuff. President Trump just posted or

stuff. President Trump just posted or

stuff. President Trump just posted or reposted on his social media site a new

reposted on his social media site a new

reposted on his social media site a new image. The one today is him with Jesus.

image. The one today is him with Jesus.

image. The one today is him with Jesus. I think we have this here.

I think we have this here.

I think we have this here. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That that great. That'll calm

Yeah. That that great. That'll calm

Yeah. That that great. That'll calm things down.

things down.

things down. Nothing will ease religious tensions

Nothing will ease religious tensions

Nothing will ease religious tensions like posting an image of Jesus giving

like posting an image of Jesus giving

like posting an image of Jesus giving you a hand job. For more on the Trump

you a hand job. For more on the Trump

you a hand job. For more on the Trump administration's beef with the Pope, we

administration's beef with the Pope, we

administration's beef with the Pope, we go live to Washington with Grace Coolen

go live to Washington with Grace Coolen

go live to Washington with Grace Coolen Smith.

Grace.

Grace.

Grace. All right, Grace. Why are you wearing

All right, Grace. Why are you wearing

All right, Grace. Why are you wearing that?

that?

that? >> Good question, my son. Let me explain.

>> Good question, my son. Let me explain.

>> Good question, my son. Let me explain. You see, President Trump can't convince

You see, President Trump can't convince

You see, President Trump can't convince Pope Leo, that the war in Iran

Pope Leo, that the war in Iran

Pope Leo, that the war in Iran would be supported by Jesus,

would be supported by Jesus,

would be supported by Jesus, And that's where I come in. Ronnie

And that's where I come in. Ronnie

And that's where I come in. Ronnie Chang,

Chang,

Chang, America needs its own religious leader.

America needs its own religious leader.

America needs its own religious leader. And I volunteer to be war pope.

>> No. What of the war pope?

>> No. What of the war pope?

>> No. What of the war pope? >> Yep. I'm like the regular pope, but I'm

>> Yep. I'm like the regular pope, but I'm

>> Yep. I'm like the regular pope, but I'm down to sign off on whatever the Trump

down to sign off on whatever the Trump

down to sign off on whatever the Trump administration needs. Bombing Iran,

administration needs. Bombing Iran,

administration needs. Bombing Iran, invading Cuba, crop dusting Greenlands,

invading Cuba, crop dusting Greenlands,

invading Cuba, crop dusting Greenlands, whatever they want to do. The war, the

whatever they want to do. The war, the

whatever they want to do. The war, the war pope will tell them it's certified

war pope will tell them it's certified

war pope will tell them it's certified Jesus fresh.

Jesus fresh.

Jesus fresh. >> Okay, look,

>> Okay, look,

>> Okay, look, I don't think Jesus would approve of any

I don't think Jesus would approve of any

I don't think Jesus would approve of any of that.

of that.

of that. >> You think you know better than her

>> You think you know better than her

>> You think you know better than her excellence? You better watch your

excellence? You better watch your

excellence? You better watch your heathen mouth or war pope will slap you

heathen mouth or war pope will slap you

heathen mouth or war pope will slap you around with the holy anal beads of

around with the holy anal beads of

around with the holy anal beads of truth.

truth.

truth. >> Okay. Okay.

>> Okay. Okay.

>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Don't encourage that.

Okay. Wait. Why do you get to be warpo?

Okay. Wait. Why do you get to be warpo?

Okay. Wait. Why do you get to be warpo? >> Because it was my idea. And as Jesus

>> Because it was my idea. And as Jesus

>> Because it was my idea. And as Jesus once said, if I can see it, then I can

once said, if I can see it, then I can

once said, if I can see it, then I can do it. If I just believe it, there's

do it. If I just believe it, there's

do it. If I just believe it, there's nothing to it.

nothing to it.

nothing to it. R. Kelly said that and I believe I can

R. Kelly said that and I believe I can

R. Kelly said that and I believe I can fly.

fly.

fly. >> Yeah, Jesus was quoting R. Kelly. Point

>> Yeah, Jesus was quoting R. Kelly. Point

>> Yeah, Jesus was quoting R. Kelly. Point is, it was my idea. No one has ever had

is, it was my idea. No one has ever had

is, it was my idea. No one has ever had the idea to have a second pope.

the idea to have a second pope.

the idea to have a second pope. >> That actually happened in the 1300s.

>> That actually happened in the 1300s.

>> That actually happened in the 1300s. >> No, I mean like no political leader.

>> No, I mean like no political leader.

>> No, I mean like no political leader. >> That happened with Henry VIII.

>> That happened with Henry VIII.

>> That happened with Henry VIII. >> Yeah, but there's never been an American

>> Yeah, but there's never been an American

>> Yeah, but there's never been an American pope.

pope.

pope. >> The pope right now is American.

>> The pope right now is American.

>> The pope right now is American. >> Jesus Christ. You know what I mean?

>> Jesus Christ. You know what I mean?

>> Jesus Christ. You know what I mean? >> Malaysian Ken Jennings over here.

>> Malaysian Ken Jennings over here.

>> Malaysian Ken Jennings over here. I'm the first war pope.

I'm the first war pope.

I'm the first war pope. >> Okay, just to be clear, you would bless

>> Okay, just to be clear, you would bless

>> Okay, just to be clear, you would bless any military action that Trump wants to

any military action that Trump wants to

any military action that Trump wants to do.

do.

do. >> Um, is the war pope Catholic and horny?

>> Um, is the war pope Catholic and horny?

>> Um, is the war pope Catholic and horny? HELL YEAH. A WAR POPE.

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY. SO, even if it pushes gas prices to $10

SO, even if it pushes gas prices to $10

SO, even if it pushes gas prices to $10 a gallon, you support it.

a gallon, you support it.

a gallon, you support it. >> Whoa.

>> Whoa.

>> Whoa. What?

What?

What? >> No, wait. I can't afford that. The war

>> No, wait. I can't afford that. The war

>> No, wait. I can't afford that. The war Pokemobile is a real gas guzzler.

Pokemobile is a real gas guzzler.

Pokemobile is a real gas guzzler. >> Okay. Well, it's not just gas. I mean,

>> Okay. Well, it's not just gas. I mean,

>> Okay. Well, it's not just gas. I mean, this war is pushing up food prices, too.

this war is pushing up food prices, too.

this war is pushing up food prices, too. >> Oh my god. Beef prices are already so

>> Oh my god. Beef prices are already so

>> Oh my god. Beef prices are already so high, I've had to forgo sloppy joe

high, I've had to forgo sloppy joe

high, I've had to forgo sloppy joe Fridays.

Fridays.

Fridays. This has been a tough time for the war

This has been a tough time for the war

This has been a tough time for the war pope.

pope.

pope. Please, no, no, no. Please stop doing

Please, no, no, no. Please stop doing

Please, no, no, no. Please stop doing that. I I don't know if war pope can

that. I I don't know if war pope can

that. I I don't know if war pope can support this war.

support this war.

support this war. >> Yeah.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. MEGA War Pope Ken, step aside, war Pope.

MEGA War Pope Ken, step aside, war Pope.

MEGA War Pope Ken, step aside, war Pope. I'm a

I'm a

I'm a I got half the morals and twice the anal

I got half the morals and twice the anal

I got half the morals and twice the anal beads up my ass. MEGA WAR POPE.

beads up my ass. MEGA WAR POPE.

beads up my ass. MEGA WAR POPE. YEAH.

>> OKAY. Mega War Pope. Uh, you don't mind

>> OKAY. Mega War Pope. Uh, you don't mind

>> OKAY. Mega War Pope. Uh, you don't mind war g war and gas at $10 a gallon?

war g war and gas at $10 a gallon?

war g war and gas at $10 a gallon? >> No. MEGA WAR POPE DRIVES A PRIUS. YEAH.

>> No. MEGA WAR POPE DRIVES A PRIUS. YEAH.

>> No. MEGA WAR POPE DRIVES A PRIUS. YEAH. WALL POOP AND mega wall pop. Everybody.