Original subtitles

There are wicked demons who wreak havoc upon the human realm...

I will never forget the hero who ventured from the Underworld to fend them off.

His name is...

Doro—

—ron

Enma!

Baaa—

—aamf!

mera mera mera mera mera mera mera mera

Ignite my soul and let it burn

tamashii mera mera icchou do

Raise the heat to a trillion celsius

*bamf*

It's Enma

*cricklecrackle*

sekai wo yurugasu shoujishi wo

I take this world and shape it to my liking

inochi wo sabakuze sono ikari

I judge your lives with my unstoppable rage

namida mo nageki mo wasuretaze

I've lost touch with tears and grief

tatakare tsubusare taoretemo

Hit me, stomp me, and fall I may

aitsu no tamashii icchou do

But my soul burns at a trillion degrees

aitsu no tamashii icchou do

My soul burns at a trillion degrees

shiro na shinigami mo haiagaru

Even the white death rises back up

makka na heart ga hi wo hi wo hi wo hi wo hakuze

My red hot heart will blow fire into my veins

mera mera mera mera mera mera

Ignite my soul and let it burn

omae no kegare mo tokeochiru

I'll melt your impurity right off your soul

mera mera mera mera mera mera

Ignite my soul and let it burn

aitsu no shinjou nietagiru

My flame boils my belief to intangible strength

mera mera mera mera mera mera

Ignite my soul and let it burn

omae no enajii yakitsukusu

I'll feed your energy to my flame

mera mera mera mera mera mera

Ignite my soul and let it burn

aitsu no hitomi mo moekuruu

Your eyes go crazy at the sight of my flames

Huh?

What was I doing all this time?

We're the Demon Patrol!

That's right, I was with Enma, Yuki, Grampa Chappeau, and that other guy,

and we went to all these crazy places and did crazy stuff...

And every time something horrible happened to me.

Oh, I get it now. This is the recap episode.

Uh-oh!

Harumi!

Stop that!

What?

Not on my watch!

And “that other guy”? What the hell?

Are you okay, Harumi?

You're still here? I forgot all about you.

Hey, don't treat my staff like some fishing rod!

At this rate, only destruction awaits us!

This world will come to an end.

That's right! Do something, Mr. Goblin!

Tenth Flame

Won't You Save Us, Mr. Goblin?

Mega-ultra-super-giga-evil-zillasaurus cometh!

Mega-ultra-super-giga-evil-zillasaurus!

The evil Archdemon known as the living black hole, consumer of galaxies!

...Dr. Demon told me once.

But why is he here?

Enma... Not only did you call me a windbag, but you also summoned this demon to attack me?

You make my nose curl!

Flame Goblin!?

Look, it wasn't exactly my idea to summon him.

And I never once said you're a windbag who's totally up his own ass despite the fact he's a total pansy.

Well, you just did.

No, you said all we do is sit around doing nothing while complaining all day!

We did not! We never said, “boy is that guy full of shit!”

News flash! You just did!

I stand by Princess Yukiko.

Cool your nose, I mean head a little, Flame Goblin.

Master Frost Goblin!

Even if they accuse us Goblins of foolish babbling?

Yup. Just mindless babbling.

So you told him we said all that stuff!

Well, the Goblin Trio said that if I could provoke Flame Goblin and sic him on the Hell House, I could undo the seal on “that”.

What!?

So they pulled the wool over your nose, I mean eyes?

And all they wanted in exchange was for me to steal some silly toy for them.

Is that nose-sense, I mean nonsense true?

It seems that you smelt, I mean leapt to the wrong conclusion.

Now I'm worried about which toy they were after.

I want one!

Well, in the end, I had to undo the seal myself.

And I definitely never said that you were a booger-brained turd face.

Except half a second ago!

But how come the self-destruct mechanism released that demon anyway?

Well you see, it was actually the demon's moustache!

A moustache?

A 'stache? Seriously?

This demon resides in another dimension.

But once the moustache seal was removed,

the liberated voice called forth his true form!

How does a moustache have a mouth?

That's awful handsome for a demon!

Seriously?

Why is something that dangerous used as the self-destruct mechanism?

A single hair from his moustache can supply power to the Hell House for ten thousand years!

Remember kids, be energy smart!

I once smelt, I mean heard that when he first showed up, the big bang followed in his wake!

I smelt, I mean heard that all the stars in the sky then consumed him whole!

You're making that up!

The Great King Enma then took possession of the moustache he left behind.

Gee whiz, Uncle, thanks a bunch!

But why would he just leave such a dangerous thing here? I smell a conspiracy!

You just had to have a moat here didn't you?

You're not done swimming yet, Harumi?

Get real! And untie these ropes already!

How do I untie these knots anyway?

Yuki, your hands are freezing!

Let's see, if we pull this here...

Or maybe this? Or this?

Does it feel that good, Harumi?

See you on the other side, Yuki.

All we can do now is pray!

I would disgrace my kind by turning nose, I mean tail here!

I will dispose of this beast!

Nay! I am Heaven's mightiest. The burden lies on my nose, I mean shoulders!

Nay, I am the strongest! I could defeat you with a flick of my nose, I mean finger!

Nay! Witness my might with your own nose, I mean, eyes!

Outta my way! I'll do it!

No, I will!

No, I will!

No, I will!

No, me!

No, me!

No, me!

No, me!

No, me!

No, me!

I hate to admit it, but not even the mighty Goblins would stand a chance against him!

Master Frost Goblin!

Why'd you even remove the damn seal in the first place!?

Why would you want the Hell House to self-destruct?

'Cause if I removed it and the Hell House blew up, the world would become sexy and fun!

No, you've got it all wrong!

I knew you were behind this!

Let's make our escape, Lullabye!

Okay, I get it! Don't pull!

Not so fast!

Hey, lemme go!

If we wait for the Goblins to come save us, it'll be too late!

Hurry up and do something, Enma!

Well, I'd love to, but I can't use the Flame Staff right now,

so we may as well kiss the human world goodbye.

You gotta be kidding! You call yourself a demon!?

Owww! All right, all right!

Time for our last resort!

Beep!

Time to have my uncle bail us out!

You've reached the Great King Enma's residence, sweetie pie!

I cannot come to the phone right now, so leave a message after the beep pwetty pweeease!

God dammit, why are you never home!?

Aren't you worried sick about your dearest nephew?

Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!

And to think I considered him a hero...

At least write me a friggin' letter every now and then!

Oh, yeah! I found a letter for you earlier.

Dear Enma

Gimme that!

Hewwo Pumpkin, it's me, the Great King Enma!

Double, double, toil and bollocks.

A gift for the patient Prince Enma!

In place of the 100 years worth of Transformers, I have made amends by sending you this key!

With this key, you could survive even if the mighty rubber-baby-buggy-bumpersaurus were to appear!

Buh-bye now!

I love you, Uncle!

We're gonna be okay, right?

Despite how he looks, the King truly adores his nephew.

Everything's gonna be fine!

Isn't that wonderful? It found its way here, even without proper postage!

That's the good news?

That's weird, the key that makes it go isn't in here.

The damn envelope tore!

Then do I still have it?

Oh, no, I think I dropped it!

You sure it ain't under your panties?

Why the heck would it be there!?

How about here, then?

How could it be down there!?

Stupid!

No, it must be here somewhere...

Without the key, we're doomed!

We're up the creek!

You think that'll stop me?

As captain of the Demon Patrol, I order all of you to search every last inch of this place!

Don't keel over on us, Cap'n.

Just let him be.

Since when did you have a captain?

Hmph!

I will smite thee, demon!

Nay, I shall—

Nay, I will—

Nay, I—

I'll—

I shall—

I'll—

No, me!

No, me!

C'mon, key! Where are you?

Come on out, Mr. Key!

I don't see it anywhere!

I can't find it either!

It was that streaker's fault I lost it!

If this keeps up, we're done for!

Hang in there, Messieurs Goblin!

No, me!

No, me!

No, me!

No—

That voice!

It came from below!

She's right. We must put aside our proboscises, I mean problems, and work together.

Let us combine forces and unleash our supreme technique!

Indeed! Splendid idea.

Allow us to smell you, I mean teach you a lesson!

Gigoblin!

They fused!

Look up there!

There it is! That's it!

Large Flush Small Flush

That’s the key Great King Enma sent us!

How exactly did that fit inside a flat envelope?

All right! Go, Kappaeru!

You got it!

Yum!

Why'd you swallow it!?

Even with our combined might,

we cannot suppress the fiend!

Dammit, where the hell did it go?

Perhaps it would be easier to try the other end.

You got us into this, Harumi.

One thousand years of pain!

DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO FIST ME!?

Got it.

Way to go!

So where do we jam this sucker into?

Oh! Right in there!

Right into that keyhole!

Why didn't you say that earlier!?

Understood!

Fire it up!

Right! Here we go!

Dororon Enma Baaaamf!

Woah! This thing is awesome!

How is this awesome!?

For some reason, I feel like I have to... unload!

Let's rock 'n roll!

Wait, how do I work this thing?

Isn't there a manual for it?

Hmm... Oh, right there!

Manual

Manual

Manual

Manual

Manual

Manual

Manual

Manual

Why'd you swallow it!?

I'm afraid

we can fight no further!

Dammit, where the hell did it go?

Perhaps it would be easier to try the other end.

You know what to do, Harumi.

Ten thousand years of pain!

There we go, good as new!

I don't see how the demon could be stopped this easily, though.

Now it's time to use that!

Don't need to tell me twice!

The demon's power is weakening!

Now's our chance!

Umm, it melted...

Oh, great.

Enma, Look!

We will lay down our lives to banish this scourge!

We will atone for our transgressions!

The rest is up to you, Demon Patrol!

Master Frost Goblin!

Thank you Mr. Goblin-fusion-guys!

May you grow up proud and strong!

No farewells, for we vow to meet again someday!

Hey, wait!

Don't sacrifice yourselves!

Like they'd have listened to me anyway...

The world is safe again, isn't it?

Yeah, but the Goblins aren't!

They may not return for several thousand years...

Now what!?

Huh? What?

Those are 1:1 scale Geta-tron models!

Geta-tron

You're through Demon Shrimps!

We went through a lot of trouble to fool Flame Goblin,

but now we've finally gotten rid of both of them!

And just as planned, we'll ascend to the Goblin throne!

Shrimp Goblin

Squid Goblin

Noodle Goblin

Shrimp Beam!

Ink Drill!

Noodle Missiles!

All that's left now is to destroy the Demon Patrol!

Allow me to be of assistance!

Go away! Flame Goblin nearly turned on us thanks to you!

That was part of the plan, silly!

Besides, don't forget who bravely summoned Whatcha-ma-call-itsaurus now!

Now, let's go!

Whatever, just move!

Behold! The Jumbo Machine!

Woo-hoo! This is way cooler than 100 years worth of Transformers!

Is that a fact?

Don't underestimate our Geta-trons!

Shrimp Goblin!

Squid Goblin!

Noodle Goblin!

Oh, my!

Did they win already?

What!? Is there truly a machine that can withstand our barrage!?

Nothing less from the legendary Jumbo Machine!

Not even a scratch!

All right, now it's our turn!

Jumbo Machine, FLY!!

Sorry, but it can't fly.

No kiddin'.

Jumbo Machine, MARCH!

There were sandbags in front of the feet, so it can only roll forward.

Fine then! Use the rocket punch!

The arms that launch the rocket punch are sold separately.

Dammit, Uncle! If you're gonna give me this as a present, buy the secret weapon pack too!

You may be jumbo-sized, but you're just a hunk of junk!

Okay, now's our chance. Let's combine into our own super-robot!

Allow me. Geta-2 will form the head.

Shrimp! If we're going to combine, Geta-1 has to be the head!

No, Geta-3!

No, 2!

1!

3!

2!

1!

3!

2!

1!

3!

2!

1!

What the heck are you doing?

You guys are useless.

No problem, I'll do it myself!

Mega Madam Missile!

Wait, time out!

Huh?

Well, they're made by the same company, so they fit perfectly!

Who are we to turn down such a nice gift?

This is just stupid.

What? No way! Seriously?

Now that we've got weapons, you're done for!

All 333 meters, gone!

Gotcha!

Crane Missiles!

Not again!

Now you're through!

All 3,776 meters, gone!

Try this on for size!

Oh yeah!

The Diet Building!

Take this!

Bring it on!

Everything's destroyed!

Shouldn't we tell him to stop?

No, let's just leave him be.

Bring it all down!

Make it stop!

Them's good eatin'.

Here I go!

So long, everyone...

What was that?

Oh, fiddle sticks! We're out of options!

No, no! We're out of fuel, lullabye!

...Huh?

That was a joke, right?

It's beautiful!

And everybody goes *baaamf* in the night...

How about you all drop dead instead!?

itsuka wa minna kutabarusa

Eventually, we all fall sleep

kutabaru kutabaru kutabarusa

Sleep, sleep, fall to our sleeps

shigoto de katei de gakkou de

Sleep at work, at home, or at school

pendaijun wa itabasami

It's a dilemma

jirenma youkai mou ikkai

A dilemma everywhere

sekinin zusshiri pecchanko

You'll turn flat with all that responsibilities

douse shindara jigoku yuki

When we die, we'll all go to hell

sorenara utatane tengokusa

Then we'll be able to sleep all day

itsuka wa minna kutabarusa

Eventually, we all fall sleep

kutabaru kutabaru kutabarusa

Sleep, sleep, fall to our sleeps

kuruppa munya munya munya gussuri

Sleeping and dreaming like a baby

hitotsu yume mite wasuretakya

Forget about the bad days with just one dream

tengoku sa

Dream about heaven

All's well that ends well!

It was quite a tough battle.

My anus is loose.

Hey, look what you did!

This whole thing is your fault!

Why in the world is my ex-wife here?

How do you and Enpi know each other?

Oh, I have a short temper, so I have Grandma Chappeau sing me lullabies.

Just like my ex, lullabye!

Excellent work.

Oh, hi Mark.

Mark Angel!

Who?

An angel?

Hey! I worked so hard to remove the seal like you said,

but the world didn't become sexy or fun at all!

I merely said to shape the world as you see fit.

Though it seems you chose to lay waste to it instead.

The hell we did!

Oh? The Blaze Circlet's seal remains intact?

Truly a midnight mystery!

Who do you think you are, pal?

Just between us, I, Mark Angel, am an agent sent by Heaven to punish the human world.

I suspected as much!

A singing streetlamp?

And now I finally have proof!

Attempting to punish the human world is against the law!

We can no longer avoid all-out war between Heaven and Hell!

All-out war!?

Armageddon

All-out war

Why is Heaven involved?

Wait, was he hiding in there this whole time?

To be continued

Another “to be continued”!?

Next Episode

Eleventh Flame

It's not my problem!

Lovey-dovey baaamf!