Original subtitles

I'm so glad we have a few days off tour. I'm spent.

I know.

Like, worst tour ever.

I'm exhausted.

This resort sucks.

Duh. What do they expect us to do here?

Nothing. It's boring, though.

No, there's nothing to fucking do.

Let's... Let's call... Let's call a rancher. This is his job to keep us

It is.

Hey. Get your fucking ass over here. We have a fucking problem.

Hurry up! Now!

No, he's coming. Don't worry.

God. You better have something entertaining for us.

What happened? What? What took you so long? I know. It took a fucking long

It sounded like it was a fucking emergency. What the hell happened? There

We're bored.

Yeah. So do something. Go swimming. It's fucking ice cold. It's ice cold. You go

fucking swimming. I did this morning. It was great. Bullshit.

It's fucking cold. What do you want to do?

I want to fuck shit up. No. Party.

Jugs. Drugs.

No. Yeah.

Drugs. Drugs. Last time you earned it up on probation, you had a train ran on

you by five dudes in a kid's pizza fucking place. I like pizza. What can I

It was pretty good. I was eating a slice. I was getting fucked.

That was awesome.

What do you want to do? What do you want to do?

It's your job to keep us happy.

We're bored as shit.

You're the bitch again. No, not that.

We had that.

Okay, do what? What?

Anything. Go get a... Someone, get us a guy. Dick or drug?

Dick. No. Dick. No drug. Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick.

Dick.

Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.

Dick.

Dick.

I don't want to wait. Dude, 30 minutes.

Have a drink.

Drink? Three drink?

A drink means one drink.

A bottle?

Six bottles?

Yeah.

Whiskey, let's go.

Okay, fuck.

I'm going to go back up to the room, make some calls.

It'll be all hooked up for you in the room. Well, then fucking hurry up.

One thing I know is horrors, and I got it. Don't take long. Well, then fucking

hurry up. Go.

Why are you still standing here talking to us? These fucking kids are killing

me. All right, I'll be back. I'll call you. Hurry up.

How the fuck do we even pay him? No, it's really fucking annoying to you.

What do you mean?

We want his dick.

Ugh, I like that dick.

You can get any dick.

Dude, you're our manager. You know we're not gonna fuck you, right?

You know what? I don't even have the shot of fucking paying a ceiling.

What? This is Tommy.

He's your entertainment.

Have fun.

Goodbye, pal. Thank you.

Hey, lady. How are you? Hi.

As he said, I'm Tommy, and I'm here for me.

New room massage.

As you can see, the mattress is laid out. We have this wonderful formula.

This is what it was, new room massage.

This formula right here, which is really good for the skin and the complexion. I

could have gone down to the bathroom and gotten a massage. Yeah, probably.

Why don't you dance for us? Yeah.

Show us what you got.

I don't really dance. Dance for us. Come on. Dance.

Fucking put that floor butter down.

It's not about dance.

Okay. Come on.

Well, I don't have any music in my head right now.

Okay, then take that thing off. Do something. Come on.

Entertain us. All right, I guess I can take this off.

Okay, that's a little bit better, but a little more easier. Who wants to come

first? We'll lay down and I'll put this back on. Why don't you put some on you?

Yeah, put it on you. Like, show us how it... All right.

Where? Anywhere? Just here?

Yeah.

Okay. I think you need more.

More.

I don't want to use it all. Can you show me how to do this? Yeah, he doesn't

know what the fuck he's doing.

But this is not for me. It's for you. It's for you. You guys were wasting it.

You should do your weight. No!

You brought it.

Yeah.

Like this. It's not really a... I think that's how it's supposed to go, right?

That's not how it goes.

I was trained in this, and this is not how it's supposed to go.

This is how you are trained?

Yeah, there's a whole, like, thing we do to make it more important. No, this is

going on mute now.

Come on. If you were trained in it, they had to practice on you a couple times,

right? Well, no.

I'm supposed to apply the new root of you.

No, the new root of you.

I'm going to take this off so we can put more on you. Yeah.

I'm sure there's some other places we can put it, right?

Yeah, come on.

Okay, you need to probably help us with this shit. Come on. You're just going to

stand around and not do anything?

Well, you're going to do that.

He's massaging you, not getting undressed.

Well, you have to get undressed.

Why? Because I said so. You guys are just... I wish you... What's your

name? I don't know.

He didn't warn me about it. It doesn't matter.

Fucking jackass.

Put this over there. Now, who of you guys, if somebody would want to lay down

first, I could get started.

Lay down?

Take your fucking panties off.

That's not what I... Take them off!

Come on. Take them off. Take them off now. Banana habit. Take the fucking

off. You suck at this. Oh, my God. I can't believe this is happening right

Whoa.

Lady.

Ow, ow, ow.

Get some of that on there.

Oh, my God.

Oh, stop.

What? I'm professional. You know what? I'm going to report it. I'm going to

report it. I'm going to report it. I'm going to report it. I'm going to report

it. I'm going to report it.

I'm going to report it.

be here right now.

Just enjoy it.

I'm afraid to do anything.

I'm just going to lay here right now. Okay, just lay there. Just lay there.

going to rub my hips on your back.

I think we need some more of that gel. I don't want to look right now.

Don't look. Just close your eyes and take it.

Just take it.

You're getting it all over you.

Don't look, guys. You know what? Maybe you can do the same to me.

It's supposed to be real slow and sensual.

Shut the fuck up. I'm not talking.

You're going to let us have fun.

You're here for our entertainment, didn't he tell you that?

I guess so.

Now we just need some whiskey.

I need some drugs.

No, I don't think we need some drugs.

Can you be on a drug?

Uh... I'm just gonna... I'm just gonna cover you.

In the goo.

What is it called again?

It's called guru.

Guru?

Guru?

Guru?

Guru?

Your back part is like that.

Ladies,

look. I like how this feels.

I know. Just lay down. We put it in the butt crack.

Spread the cheeks.

Spread the cheeks.

If you guys do... How did that feel?

It's just slippery, right? Yeah, it is. You should let me massage you.

Did that get better?

Do you like to be crushed? Oh, no.

Well, it is now.

It's like this is not straighter.

Oh my God. Best lube ever.

I don't know.

You're going to get me fired. That's what's going to happen.

I'm not going to have a job anymore.

We'll hire you again. No, you stay with us. I'm trying to go to school.

You want to go on tour?

Yeah, you can go on tour. Let's go on tour.

What exactly do you guys do?

What about the score? I don't understand.

What exactly do you guys do? We do awesome stuff. That's what we do. We

lot. We drink.

Let's just talk.

Did you see that?

No. Turn over.

What? No. Turn over. Turn over.

Don't they know? No, I don't turn over.

You turn over.

No.

I'm going to take you. I'm not.

You guys.

Look, I took my jacket off.

And all over the place.

What? Oh, my God.

You're going to get me fired. Your boss is going to come back. Is that your

boss? You're going to get me fired. He hired me to come in here and do a

on you, and he's going to come through the door, and it's going to be the

opposite. You guys are massaging me, and I'm not going to get paid.

I bet it feels good on your dick. You'll still get paid. You're a manager.

He works for us.

Oh, really?

And you do too now. Okay.

I'm just going to let you guys do whatever you want.

Well, not everything, whatever you want. Everything?

No, no, not exactly that.

Are you sure?

A little bit, a little bit, a little bit. I think you're going to have to

back.

Just about everything.

That'll be fine, I guess.

Wow,

this does feel good.

I've never had sex before.

I mean, usually I'm... You talk too much. Shut up. Older ladies.

Oh,

shut up.

Not really dangerous.

Does it taste like anything?

No. Fuck.

I shouldn't be excited about it.

But you are.

I know.

Why are you attacking me?

Oh God, that's fucking cold.

This is really cool.

I've never had this happen before.

I can't wait to tell my friends.

What's the name of your band?

I don't know your business.

Is that the name?

It's called Public Transportation.

Public Transportation.

What?

So, Public Transportation.

Why do they call you guys that?

Because everybody gets a ride.

I see.

Yeah, the ride.

Oh,

God.

Wow.

Wow.

You want to put your dick in there?

In what?

What? Put your dick in your finger. In your dick anyway.

Yeah. Uh -oh. What?

Come on. You know you want to.

Just slide on over there.

Let's try it again.

It's so slippery.

This is really happening, right? Yes.

Wow, this is great.

Oh, my God. Where does this tour start?

Where did you go?

Okay. What would I do?

Just this?

Come on. Oh, I could do this every day.

You're good.

Am I going to get... Wait, is this hidden camera?

Are you sure it's not hidden camera?

I don't like people who don't talk.

Oh, no.

It's done.

Thank you.

I'm just getting this right now.

Put your penis back inside her.

This is great. You guys are just sluts. What?

Get the fuck out of here.

I'm just... I'm just kidding.

Stick your dick back in me.

Can we do a dance again?

No, I... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I said massage them! Don't fuck them!

They... No, we didn't. We didn't do anything. Don't play Musk. What do you

Yeah, what the fuck?

I don't know why you did this to us.

You, get the fuck out of here. Go, go. They... Shut the fuck... Go. Ow, ow, ow,

ow. Take your fucking... You better run, Bullseye.

Go, go, go, go.

Can we have some whiskey now?

Sound check in 20 minutes. And if you hurry up, we can get pizza on the way.

Pizza! Let's go! Pizza!