Original subtitles

Thank you all for coming at such short notice.

It means a lot to me that you're all here.

-This is going to be good. -Tjaart, sit.

So, I found out some news about myself.

Yeah.

And I'm super excited to tell everybody because, you know...

I think they're finally going to get me.

I have something very important I need to tell you all.

I wanted to come out to all of you, my colleagues,

and my dear friends first.

I told you.

So, I've recently been diagnosed...

with adult ADHD.

Yeah, it's a very serious condition

that explains a lot about my childhood.

We thought you'd say something a bit more exciting.

Oh, okay. Why? What did you think?

We all thought you'd become a gay.

Oh, no. My sexual preference has nothing to do with this.

-So you are a gay? -No.

It doesn't matter if I am or not.

-Does ADHD give you gayness? -No!

-Are you serious? -Answer the question, Kayle.

There aren't that many gays in Klerksdorp.

We don't have that exposure.

There are loads of homosexuals in Klerksdorp.

Ah, you'll know.

And they're probably closeted homosexuals

because of the stigma that goes with the Afrikaans community.

-So it's the Afrikaners' fault again. -So you are a gay?

No, I'm a straight man with ADHD!

-Okay. -Okay? Attentive...

Deficit.

You see, I struggle to concentrate!

Bud, we all struggle to concentrate.

No, but the doctor said me more.

Me more, me more, me more!

Guys, what Kayle's trying to say is, he's a bit...

So, if he starts to...

Speak to him nice and slowly.

So, what do we say to Kayle?

Well done, Kayle.

Damn waste of time.

Another alphabet illness.

There's the boss!

There he is!

Flip Bosman!

Let's go!

Salute!

Boss!

Comrade.

Exceeding expectations!

Thanks, Boss.

For you, Bossman.

What's going on?

Oh, you don't know? It's performance review day.

Yeah, it's the most important day of the year.

Okay, but why does it look like a party?

He takes bribes for exceeding expectations reviews.

Exceeding expectations!

This is so wrong.

Hey, if I have to exploit my culture for a bump in salary, so be it.

Hey!

Is there more? Yes! More!

Margate!

eDurban!

More, more, more!

Wow!

Wow.

Performance review day is simply my favourite day at work.

Fact.

I've handled it for years,

but I had to be a bit more subtle with the old boss.

But now, the cat's dead and the mouse is...

boss!

It's innocent fun.

Everyone wins!

Unbelievable. Thank you.

Okay, I'm ready for you.

Next.

Good luck.

Exceeding expectations--

Yeah.

Next!

Limited edition, 1931 model built to scale.

Oh, wow.

Joubert, feel free to land at exceeded expectations valley.

-Next! -God save our gra--

Nope. No, no.

Dutch liquorice!

From your ancestors. What?

I don't know, Flip.

You never give me exceeding expectations.

Do I look like a dolphin?

Do you know how salty that stuff is?

No. Meeting expectations.

-Again. -Yup, again.

Flip, you can wash his crappy sweets down...

-with a golden cold one! -Exceeding expectations!

I'll put it at the king's feet.

Oh, thank you, Beerman.

My lady.

Can I please have an actual performance review?

What?

A what?

I'd really like to know how I'm doing.

I'll tell you how you're doing.

You're not exceeding anything.

Sir!

Miems!

Exceeding expectations!

I came to work here to put polony back on the map,

to change the world, and to move on to something way bigger.

And I've basically done none of that.

It's way more difficult than I thought.

I need a performance review.

There's a huge chocolate in my drawer if you want to give it to him.

No, thanks. I'm not doing that. It's stupid.

I think if you do this right, it can actually motivate the staff.

-Yeah. -I mean, this is just bribery.

Yeah, you're right. This is just stupid.

A lotto ticket?

Exceeding expectations!

I might be a millionaire.

I can build the rugby field.

I'll keep this short. I need your help.

You have two saved messages.

First message.

Hello, Mr Headmaster.

I was a naughty, naughty girl.

Teacher sent me to your office because my skirt is so short.

Please don't tell my parents. I'll do anything.

-Yoh. -Wow!

That was Martie.

Flip, you filthy man. I didn't know you had it in you.

School principal?

I bet she looks damn hot in a school uniform.

Okay, Tjaart.

Naughty.

The love of my life isn't naughty.

No.

Second message.

Flip, hi.

Just ignore that message, please.

It was a...

It was a pocket dial!

I was reading an erotic novel out loud.

But don't come over, okay?

Whatever you do, don't come over.

So now that you've heard that, here's my question.

Should I be worried...

-Yes. -Yeah.

...that she's reading an erotic novel while we're dating?

Flip, your girl is cheating on you.

What?

Maybe that happens in your culture,

but the Afrikaner learns from his mistakes.

She won't do it again.

No, no, Flip. You need to have a conversation with her.

I ask my male friends for help and you come with advice for women.

Needs improvement.

For the record, romance novels can only help in the bedroom.

I encourage my wife to read them.

Again, probably a cultural difference.

Flippa, I don't think she's cheating on you.

I think it is possible that she read that erotic novel out loud

and accidentally pocket-dialled you.

But there's one way to find out.

We could secretly pop around there.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

Thank you, Tjaart. A man with common sense.

The rest of you, out.

We'll prove that the love of my life wouldn't cheat on me.

I can't deal with your negativity!

It's the best day of the year at work.

Yup, she's cheating on him.

Seven million percent.

But you need to realise these things on your own.

And it's my job to bring him to that realisation.

Bitch.

Flippa, we're going to prove that she's become the angel she is

after cheating on her husband many times...

which led to the divorce she's going through now.

Which led to the...

relationship that you're in where you don't see other people.

Yup.

So, yes... don't worry.

I'm not worried. Let's go.

People, a situation has come up that needs my attention.

So unfortunately, I can't do the performance reviews.

So, I'll tell all of you...

exceeding expectations!

-Yes! -Nice!

Flip, I thought it might be best if we did the reviews properly.

Yeah, I can take care of it for you.

Well, I already have my gifts,

so go for it, Joubert!

-Okay. -Proud of you!

Hey, everyone!

Big man Joubert over here

says he wants to do the reviews properly.

So, assess everyone and give me the results.

-No. -Hey!

He's the boss now. Complain to him.

So...

Judas.

What?

What? It's a good idea.

Bud, why are we parking so far away?

Oh, sorry.

There she is.

Thanks for helping out so quickly.

Uh-oh. There's a guy.

It's always nice to see you.

He's huge.

He's not that huge.

He's just a professional. Look, he has a toolbox.

Maybe an overnight bag.

No, his van says he's a plumber.

Yeah, maybe he serviced her pipes.

And she said her stomach was upset, so it makes sense.

And he's not a headmaster.

So... set, point, match.

Okay, sorry.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What the--

Look at this pervert.

Bud, I've got my knuckle duster. Let's fight him.

No, wait. Relax, relax, relax.

Hey!

Hey!

Is there a reason you're spying on my girlfriend?

Who's your girlfriend?

You go first.

No, he's got a knuckle duster. You go first.

Martie.

Martie?

Yes.

Who lives here?

Yes.

In the beige house?

Yes.

What do you do for a living?

I'm a headmaster.

Flip, the headmaster from the phone call.

Yes, Tjaart.

-Nice, Kayle. -Okay.

I just want to say, I'm very happy you're doing this.

I support you in this role.

-Okay. -Let's work together on this.

Let's get me to exceeding expectations valley.

Yeah, okay. Right.

I'll go through a few of your questions,

and we'll chat about it.

-Go. -Okay, cool.

How do you feel your work influences the general success of polony?

-Yeah. -You said it doesn't.

Really? Did I wri--

Oh, I...

Sorry, I remember. I was very angry when I wrote that.

Okay, Joubert.

Friend to friend here.

I don't feel like my value is seen here, really.

You know, Flip never really listens to me.

And Tjaart...

Tjaart is just a flippen Flip fan-boy.

I mean, no one really cares about polony here.

Look at these people.

Joanne...

She writes crosswords all the time.

And Gavin...

Who knows what Gavin does in that corner.

It's actually a little creepy.

And you... you're flirting with Emma all the time.

-Wait. No, no. -It's cute.

-It's cute. -Hey, hey. I have a girlfriend.

Oh, is that still going on?

-I didn't--- -Yeah.

Okay, well, according to my morals, it's a little sceptical

to be flirting with someone so much.

-As much as you-- -Okay, right. I'll say,

-"Meeting expectations". -No!

Okay, I'm done with this conversation.

You know what?

I gave up a very good barista job at a seriously reputable

coffee franchise in Cape Town for this job.

Why would you do that?

Okay, well, I didn't get it, but...

I could've and... still.

I'm really trying to give Martie the benefit of the doubt.

She deserves that.

But this guy is...

really convinced that he's her boyfriend.

I'm starting to think that Martie isn't such a nice girlfriend.

But...

Okay, awesome, Joanne.

Okay, you haven't filled anything in.

Do you think I'll help you with your plan?

I'm only trying to get the whole office--

You're just trying to impress a goose.

-No, I'm trying-- -So, review this.

Sit on this.

And give me an "exceeding" or I'll key your bike.

"Exceeding."

-Thank you. -Great.

-Have a nice day. -Congratulations.

Hey.

How's it going with the reviews?

Really awful, thank you.

Yeah, I think everyone can take their packages and...

go away, retire.

Okay, but think of it this way.

At least you're helping people to be a better version of themselves.

Jeez, I highly doubt that.

Oh, well. I appreciate you.

Thank you. Cool.

Thank you.

-Okay, nice. -Great.

-I'm looking forward to mine. I'm seeing yours. Now.

I'll see you just now.

Just now... Miss Engelbrecht.

-Yeah, yeah. -Yes.

Bye.

Listen, are you sure you're not just good friends

and you just got the wrong idea?

This has faded already,

but you might still see it.

That was a love bite.

Bud, it was massive.

We thought he had cancer.

Was it as big as this?

-Whoa. -Jeez!

You should get to a doctor.

I know a guy.

Karel...

I think we have the same girlfriend.

I think so too.

It hurts, Karel.

-I think I'm having a heart attack. -Bud.

Flippa, Flippa.

Flippa, it's not a heart attack. Your heart is just broken.

I don't like how this feels!

No, no, no. Breathe.

Let me get you to a strip club as soon as possible.

What's going on here?

Flip.

Martie?

-Karel? -Baby.

Oh, crap.

Bitch.

Jeez.

It's not what you think.

I'm starting to think you're lying to me.

Well, you never asked if we were exclusive.

I didn't know I had to ask the love of my life that.

I'm going through a divorce, Flip.

I don't want to be tied down before I'm even single.

What?

Are you married?

But you...

-This guy? -Hey!

Alright, time to choose.

Yeah.

Me or...

No, no, whoa. Please don't make her choose.

-I choose Karel. -Don't...

Wow.

Come on, Karel.

Stay, Karel.

-Karel, stay. -I'm going.

Stay.

-Flippa, just say-- -Stop him!

-Flippa, tag me in! -No!

Tag me in, Flippa, when you're ready!

-Come out! -Come to the back door.

There isn't a back door. I--

Tjaart, back door!

Back door.

Get the key. I'm stuck!

There goes my heart.

Just because a woman can't control her desire.

If I could give Martie a performance review,

I'd tell her that she definitely didn't exceed expectations.

Below expectations.

Failed with flying colours.

No gift can fix this.

Except if her heart is the gift,

then I might give her an "exceeding".

And my heart.

Flippa, come on!

We'll get some ice cream.

I don't want any.

You don't want ice cream?

You always want ice cream.

Okay.

Welcome, Emma.

Firstly, you answered all your questions with more than one word.

So you've already exceeded more expectations than you think.

-Thank you. -In your brief time here,

you've devised better, more effective social strategies,

and our online engagement is through the roof.

So great job.

-Thank you. -Really.

So, well done!

What? What-- Really? You're not going to be honest with me?

-I am. -Oh, lame!

-What? -You're too soft.

Just be honest with me. No one's perfect.

How am I too soft?

I mean, it's just...

I was hoping for more substantial feedback, that's all.

Okay.

Okay, there is probably something you can work on.

Hit me.

Okay.

I've noticed that you don't do anything from three o'clock.

Because I'm so efficient, I finish all my work quickly.

Yes, that's one way of thinking about it.

But that's two extra hours you can give to the company.

And I mean, with ten extra hours a week

you can make a huge impact on the sales of polony.

It's not my job to sell polony. It's your job.

Yes, that's right.

But you push the traffic our way.

And if I don't have any calls or leads,

and I look over at you and see you're on your socials and not ours...

I get a bit frustrated.

Oh, okay.

But it's a time management thing, so...

Yes, that's about it, so...

Sign over there and we'll leave it there.

Who's doing your review?

-I don't need one. -Oh.

Why?

Do you think you exceed expectations?

No, I--

Okay, I'll ask Flip.

I'll do it.

If you really want to, yes.

Okay.

I've noticed that you're done with work by 11 o'clock.

And that you nap for an hour after lunch in the store room.

-You use AI to answer your e-mails. -Because it's effective.

I've noticed you eat Kayle's lunch when you think no one's watching.

You leave your phone off the hook if you don't feel like taking calls.

And I've also noticed that you flirt with some of your colleagues.

A lot.

And I mean, yes...

sometimes they flirt back.

But the thing is, they're not in a relationship, you are.

So...

check your performance because maybe you could do a bit better.

Have you guys seen a lighter anywhere?

I just had it.

Tell me if you see it, okay?

Where do I sign?

At the bottom.

Okay, am I done?

Yes, yes, thanks.

Okay, thanks.

Well, Q, you were right.

My girlfriend cheated on me.

So it's not a cultural thing.

-It's a woman thing. -Yeah.

Q, what did you do when your girlfriend cheated on you?

Went out and slept with all of her friends.

Okay.

-Wow. -I'd also do that.

We're not as different as we think we are.

Q, will you sleep with all of Martie's friends?

-No. -I will.

Tjaart, don't be a perv.

-Kayle. -Kayle.

Kayle.

Thank you, Kayle.

Exceeding expectations.

Joubert, hold on to what you have.

Yes.

It's beautiful.

It's so rare.

That moved me.

That was deep. Do you know Dozi?

-Yeah, man. -That was Dozi deep.

-Well done, Gavin. -Thanks.

Yoh.

Hey...

Can we talk?

In private.

Thanks.

Good grief. Do you want to kill me?

No, no.

Just switch off.

Oh, nothing really.

He just said he was going home this weekend.

The heart is a Rubik's Cube.

And while you're figuring it out,

it's good to surround yourself with people who love you.

Until five o'clock in the afternoon,

I'm the happiest unhappy man in the world.

-After that-- -After that...

I'm taking you to the strip club.

No.

Come on, Flippa. You never say yes.

No.

Okay.

Let's get a bottle of brandy, crack it open,

and sit on the roof of my Tazz at the dam.

Nothing matters anymore.

Flippa.

Patat might be there.

He'll take us on the fast boat.

Throw some firecrackers from the boat.

Black widow.

The fish don't stand a chance.

There's my Flippa.

I'll get my keys.

Surround yourself with people who love you.