Original subtitles

Camera ready.

Nice, nice.

So we've all been pranking each other and it's awesome.

But... Joubert is impossible to catch.

Impossible.

He's so clever.

But that ends today.

Wow, I've been craving something sweet all day,

and here are some sweets.

Ah, man.

That's dangerous.

Hey, guys.

Who made chocolates?

Oh, nice.

Chocolate.

Milk.

Is that vinegar?

Not exactly my favourite, but...

How? Literally how?

You see,

you catch most people like that, but I'm amazing.

Hey, what's going on over there?

-Is there chocolate? -Yes, come on.

-It's very nice. -The best.

-Oh, nice. -I love the different types.

Delicious.

What?!

Do you know how dangerous that is?

What if I was late for a meeting and ran in here at 45km's per hour?

That's my top-speed.

I could've been decapitated.

I'll take two then. -Yeah.

Childish. All of you.

Grow up.

Yeah, sorry, Tjaart.

One more.

It's all of them!

Here's the cake.

Cake.

Guy, guys, guys.

Hey!

-Hey! -Gavin, my man!

-Hey! -Welcome!

-Hey, guys. -Why you walking so funny?

I was in hospital for about a week for personal reasons.

But it was wonderful that the staff were so supportive

and kept me up to date on how things were going.

It felt good to know that they cared.

-There you go. -Thank you.

Auntie Miems.

-Welcome back. -Thank you so much.

I baked you a cake with my own money.

With my own money,

-I baked him a cake. -Thanks.

Kidney stones are a bitch.

That'll teach you for not drinking.

Gavin's discomfort brought us all together.

We're all part of a WhatsApp group,

and we checked in with each other every day to see how it's going.

Any time of day... or night.

Yes, it took our work intimacy

to the next level.

Welcome back, Gavin. We missed you, my old friend.

For a moment, I thought you weren't going to make it.

So I said,

"Chop it off and call him Gavina".

Remember? I put it on the group.

I need to get back to my client.

Thanks, Boss.

Nice.

I'll add you to the group, Gavin.

You don't mind if add Gavin to the group, right?

They don't mind. I'll add you.

Whoa!

What's that?

Look here.

What is it?

No, man!

Hey, hey!

Who did this?

Whose butt is this?

It's not funny, Kayle!

It's my butt.

No, man. I--

-I can see your anus! -No, man!

That means your--

You put it here on the glass.

We put our hands here!

And what happens? I take my hands...

and touch the polony in the warehouse, and we send it out.

People eat it...

and before we know it, it's Listeriosis 2.0.

Do you understand--

Okay, who was it? Just say.

Just say.

Because I'll find out and there'll be bigger trouble.

Okay.

Okay, if that's how you want it.

You're going to hell anyway.

And if Flip finds out...

I've been fired for less.

Yes, and I'll help you, Tjaart.

Because I found it first...

and it affected me the most.

Thanks, Joubert.

We'll find him.

Or her.

That's the thing with an anus.

They all look the same.

Emma!

Emma!

Emma Kolema. You can tell your grandma!

Emma wants a baby!

Do you want a baby? No, don't answer that.

Of course you do. You're a woman.

Those hips are begging for one.

Sit.

No, no, no. Sit in that chair.

Okay.

Pretty face, but...

It was a joke! A joke!

There's a camera. There's a camera.

Nice one, Flip.

It was R20 at the R5 shop.

How can I help you?

You called me, Flip.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Do you get my messages?

-Huh? -Do they come through?

Oh!

-Oh, on the group chat? -Yeah, yeah.

We all made an oath not to reply to Flip's messages.

An oath.

He gets a bit much, even during working hours,

but now he's in our phones...

day and night.

It's intense.

That's all Flip.

Just now.

I mean, I--

Do you get them or not?

Yes, I...

get all of them.

Why don't you ever reply?

I mean, it's a group chat.

I don't want to be the first to reply It would be a bit...

I always reply first...

on my own posts.

Yes, but I... You know, I--

And the rest of them?

They're probably on mute, you know...

Their phones are on mute.

Okay.

Okay, you're dismissed.

Thank you.

Look, Cronje. Look at this.

I've fine-combed all the entrances and exits.

No one came in from outside,

so the suspect is definitely one of us.

Good job, Ferreira.

You can see the suspect did a good job

in hiding their sexual identity.

No banana or guava visible, so it could be a man or a woman.

Okay, so everyone's a suspect.

Except you and me, of course.

Okay, everyone.

Phones out.

-Flip, I need to-- -Not now, Tjaart.

-Flip, it's urgent. -I don't want to see your butt.

-It's not my-- -Tjaart, sit.

Okay, everyone. Phones out.

Come on.

Take them out!

Hold them up!

No, lift them up.

Miemsie, thank you.

Okay, and...

Okay, so they work.

What going on?

We were on such a good wicket.

Just because Gavin's not dying doesn't mean we must stop chatting.

Are you out of data?

I'll buy you data.

I'm not sure what you're talking about,

but I assume it's a smartphone thing.

Yes, Tjaart, we know.

-Don't you have a phone? -No, don't--

No, I don't have a smartphone. I have a dumb phone.

Smartphones makes you dumb,

and I'd rather have a dumb phone than a dumb brain.

And I already struggle with times tables so...

Guys.

I tried to mix it up with...

I tried giffies.

I have tried memies.

I spend hours trying to find the funniest stuff to send you,

and I don't get anything back.

Gavin, I literally saw you laughing at that monkey,

And you didn't even LOL it, or 'heart' it or anything.

What's going on, guys?

Sorry, Boss. I've just had a lot to catch up on.

I know, that's why I focus on after-work messages.

Flip, you can't video call the group at 9 p.m.

Why?

Because I am already on another call.

With a client.

You're not supposed to work at night.

I never see my friends.

-Yeah. -Because when I finish work

I just go home and work more.

And I do have friends.

Yes, I hardly ever finish up before two o'clock in the morning.

-What? -Really?

If I don't get 1 000 likes for polony,

I can't sleep.

It's a crescent moon tonight.

Yes, Flip, we want to reply.

We're just so busy trying to make you proud.

-Yup. -That's it.

-To make me proud? -Yeah.

That's awful.

But we don't mind. You know, it's just how it is.

We want to be our best for you,

but we just-- You know, it means we can't reply.

But you're already the best for me.

Yoh! Well done, guys.

At five o' clock I'm done.

I'll have to pull up my socks.

Is this the culture I've created?

My staff are so desperate to impress me,

I've turned them into polony robots.

By creating brilliant workers,

I've created bad friends who never reply.

It's my fault.

I'm too inspiring.

Oh, wait. What is that?

It looks...

Yoh! You'll have to do better that that.

You actually have a little...

Jeez, I'm good.

Wow!

Joubert, take notes.

With pleasure.

Joanne, you're the only one shameless enough to do this.

Whatever it is, it wasn't me.

Show me your butt.

You'll have to buy me a drink first.

No, I won't, Joanne. The last time I did that

you borrowed my car and I only got it back a week later

in Margate.

Bend over.

No, it's someone younger.

-Okay. -You can see.

-Her cheeks hang. -Okay.

-Make a note. -Copy.

Kayle.

It looks like...

I've been staring at your face all this time.

Okay, jokes aside. Turn around, show me your butt.

-That's not my bum. -Prove it.

-I have a mole on my left cheek, so-- -Prove it!

I'm not showing you my mole.

Everyone's a suspect. Come on.

You can feel it because it's quite a big one.

I'm not going to explore. Where is it?

On the left.

Don't get excited. It's professional.

I believe you.

Joubert, make a note that I felt the suspect's huge, disgusting mole

on his left butt-cheek with my hand.

Noted.

See a doctor.

That thing's too big. Like a woman's nipple.

The alarm!

Everyone out!

Tjaart, get everyone out!

I lost my uncle in a fire!

Come on, this isn't a drill!

Where's my lunchbox?

There's probably a bomb in the building

and we're all going to explode into a thousand pieces!

-I have more to lose, sorry! -Okay, okay!

-Move over. -Go for the car, go for the car!

Get out of here! It could be mustard gas!

Come on, get in, guys.

Tjaart!

You're running to the petrol tank!

Why didn't anyone tell me?!

-Get in, get in! -Get in!

Start driving!

-Close it, Emma! -Emma, close, close, close!

Drive!

Good news.

No one's dying in a terror attack today.

Bad news.

You'll all burn out, and I have to save your lives.

Flip, did you set-off the fire alarm?

Yup!

-You know it's a massive fine, right? -Flippa!

Emma, live a little.

-Lock the back. -That's the problem here.

-Sir, we can-- -Everyone's in!

-We have to work. -Where are going?

So, what do you guys think?

What the hell are we doing here?

It's the field...

where I'll make the special kids' special dreams come true.

I come here when my life feels out of balance.

Like yours does now.

This is where I remind myself what matters.

You need to get out of this work thing.

Life needs balance.

Work and play, work and play.

Like a straight seesaw... balance.

You need to tell the universe what's going on inside,

and then the universe will give you balance.

That's how it works. It's science.

Like this.

Let the team reply on the chat group!

No, I'm joking. I'm joking.

It must be real. It can't be about work.

Okay.

Make me a father!

Preferably this year!

Feels good, doesn't it?

Okay, who's next?

-Hey, didn't you want to... -No, I don't--

-Emma. Come on. -I'm okay.

Go on, you know you want to.

-We're not going home till you do it. -Go on.

Okay.

Take a deep breath and do it.

Make me a better PA!

Emma, you need to shout, and it can't be about work.

Come on, break out!

What keeps you up at night?

What bothers you--

Help me to forgive my mother!

Mommy issues.

Okay, who's next?

Tjarra, go.

I want to see the Cape one day!

You will. The universe listens.

Bring another black guy into the office!

Bring back COVID!

Why would you--

No, no, not the sickness.

-Lock-down with family was good. -The family. Okay, yeah.

Okay, Universe... family, okay? Family, not COVID.

Go on, stand back.

I want an Xbox!

PlayStation. I don't know.

Not a shorter distance between you and Stella?

Shorter. Or don't you want to be shorter?

Help me like myself!

Because I get very angry--

Is that too long?

Come fetch me!

Get me off of this f-- field!

Okay, thank you. Go back.

How does it feel?

Now the universe knows, and half of Klerksdorp.

Thank you for participating in this balancing lesson.

Because you can't just work at night, people.

You must have a life, so we can work during the day

and chat a little at night.

You're always welcome at my special place.

Well, it's the school's property.

Well, it belongs to Mother Nature.

Well, the state.

Well, I pay tax so technically, it belongs to me.

And now, Joanne, your wish will come true.

The universe listened. We're going home.

It feels good to share that with my staff.

Well, my family.

Most bosses don't do that kind of thing.

They crack the whip to reach KPIs and...

Gavin!

-What? -Delete!

-What-- -Delete, delete, delete!

-Oh, crap. Okay. -For everyone!

The chat group is back.

-Hurry. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alright, close one.

There's another group.

Oh, he's coming.

Okay, okay, okay.

This is going to get real.

Gavin sent three messages on the group.

The first time anyone sent anything in 17 days,

and then he deleted it.

Who else thinks that trip was a waste of time?

"At least we're not working."

And then, Gavin, to put the cherry on the cake,

you use my memie that I sent.

There's another group, isn't there?

A true friendship group without me.

Yeah, yes.

-Gavin! -What?

I invited you, Gavin.

I invited you to our group.

They made me keep it a secret.

Gavin!

How long has this been going on?

Anyone can answer.

Who's in the group?

Gavin, obviously.

Joanne?

I should've known.

Jouba?

Q?

Q, you don't even like these people.

-I got FOMO. -I'm in the group.

Yes, Kayle. I know you're in the group.

Emma?

Miems?

Tjarra, can you believe it?

Everyone's on the group except for me and--

Wow.

Wow. How--

Joanne prints the chats for me and I read them in bed.

I'm sorry, Flippa, but it's funny.

So you also don't work until two in the morning.

No one buys polony in the middle of the night, Flip.

I shared my special place with you.

And you Dingaan'ed me.

Sometimes, I just wish you'd...

think of me.

So, is it yours?

Yes.

I did it as a dare, you know.

You can keep it if you want.

I finally got him!

He thinks it's my butt,

but it's not my butt, and that's...

That's the prank.

Got him.

He thinks it's my... butt.

He thinks it's my butt.

It's a bad prank.

Listen.

That was a prank.

I mean, that's not my butt.

Okay.

No, really. That's not my butt.

My butt's nicer than that.

-I don't think it's a bad butt. -What?

Okay, but it's not my butt.

Okay.

I believe you.

Look, I have...

I have two freckles there and... there.

Okay? So, it's not my butt.

Now it's your butt.

Is it your butt?!

I believe you.

Tjarra, can you stop with this butt thing?

It's mine, okay? Are you happy now?

-Really? -No, fu--

Guys, I just want you to know

that I forgive you.

I'm the head of this company.

I have to be the one you look up to.

Not the one you have to include in your childish chit-chat.

I'm the boss, and...

Well, the boss never gets invited to the fun, social events--

Bloody hell, Flip.

Stop being so sensitive.

You message too much.

It's a message here, and a message there.

"Look at my lunch," and, "It's windy outside".

It's too much.

Sorry, neh?

Okay.

What if we start a work group chat on our computers at work

that we don't have to take home?

You don't have to talk about work.

You can meme until your fingers bleed.

As long as it's from nine to five.

That's actually a great idea.

I...

I'd love that.

Well then, I'm on it.

But...

does everyone want to be on the group?

-Yeah, that should be fine. -Yes.

Even Tjaart can join in.

Yes, as long as its not articles and things.

No, no, only giffies and memes. It's great.

Auntie Miems' memes are the best. I call her Auntie Memes.

Okay.

I'll be in my office if anyone wants to chat.

I'm right here... to chat.

Let's chat.

A nice chat.

Can you guys sometimes chat first?

What's the name of the group?

DPM Work Chat.

Great name!

DPM Work Chat.

-Let's see how long it lasts. -Will I get it in my e-mail?

I don't see anything! Joanne, have you made it?

Calm down, Flip!

I'm calm!

I'm in the group.

I'm in the group!

Look, if a horse breaks a leg, you shoot the thing.

Flip's leg might not be broken,

but he knows damn well how to carry on like a sad horse.

But Flip's not a horse,

so we can't shoot him.

Okay.

It can't be.

Oh, for...

Flippen... Emma!

It was you, wasn't it?

Come on, out with it.

You've always had a nice arse.

I noticed it the first day you walked in here.

And you're so conservative and cute.

You prudish girls are the wildest when the leash is taken off.

Actually, Tjaart.

How do we know it wasn't you?

-Okay. -You've got a nice butt.

Gay for saying that.

And secondly, it wasn't me.

Okay, but you drink yourself silly most of the time.

How do you know you didn't do it when you were blind-drunk?

Can you prove it?

-Yes, I can. -What?

Oh, Tjaart. No, I didn't--

Okay.

You can see.

Two firm cheeks.

Pimples on this side, Rosa tattoo on that side.

Don't ask.

Satisfied?

Not mine!

There's your proof.

It wasn't Tjarra.

It was me.

What?

It's my butt!

What?!

Gotcha!

I knew it!

No, you didn't, bro.

Turn around.

It was right in front of me the whole time.

You've been looking at my butt the whole time.

Gross! That's gross.

I'm reporting you to Flip. You're getting a warning.

You've just shown your butt to the entire office.

Yeah, you did.

You're lucky you're too tall,

or your head would be over there, bud.

-No ways! -Thank you, everyone.

It was an honour. Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Genius prankster.

Nice butt.

Good one, Joanne!

Damn funny.

Gross!

Sorry.

I... had Mexican.

Got him.