Original subtitles

The coffee in this place is garbage.

And if you bring your own, it's not really your own.

So, I had to make a plan.

I do have to disguise the sound,

but if I have to make a fool of myself

to get a decent cup of coffee, so be it.

Oh, also, Flip knows.

Shut up, Kayle.

-Numbers are looking good. -Yup, looking good.

-Keep up the good work. -Thank you.

Take a photo, it'll last longer.

-True, pal. -Not really.

-What happened, buddy? -I beat up Dricus du Plessis.

None of your business.

Shoot.

What?

Oh, my word.

It's days like these...

that I love selling polony.

Morning, Auntie!

Jouba! Is work scarce, or are you scarcely working?

Uh-oh!

Who did you upset? Look at you.

What does the other guy look like? Is he still alive?

Kayle, give him those big sunglasses. He's got a massive shiner.

Massive.

Did you two dance?

Jeez!

You hit him in the face and didn't call me to watch.

Flip, can we talk?

You talk with your fists, you dark horse.

Tjaart, almost never loses a fight.

Do you see this, people?

This is how men sort things out.

It's primal. It's beautiful. I can smell it.

And it's clear that neither of you caved in.

Because a real man never caves in.

Come on, guys. A round of applause for the real men left in this world.

Wow!

Guys, my office, now. I want to hear everything.

Make a tunnel, Emma.

The last time I was in a fight, I was in high school.

I got into one fight. I got into one little fight

and my mom... She got scared and she said,

"You're moving to your auntie and uncle in Klerksdorp,

and we're moving to Australia."

So why do you think they fought?

Probably money.

Maybe it's a gay thing.

Like what?

I don't know. Something gay.

Is the kettle on?

-Is that nice writing paper? -Oh, no. It's--

It's a project I'm doing for...

I'm writing a letter to my girlfriend.

Oh, wow. You write letters to each other?

Yes. Well, no. I'm trying.

That's cool.

-Really? -Yes, it's sweet.

-Girls love it. -You sure?

-Okay. -Points.

I love that Joubert is such a cool boyfriend. It's great.

I mean, I hope to meet her one day so I can tell her how lucky she is.

But she probably knows.

And if she doesn't, I'll tell her.

It's a valid reason for this guy.

I don't know how people do it.

I'll save it for the birth of my child.

Here we are.

Men.

Kayle, I owe you an apology.

I never thought you were a man, but after these...

signs of brutality and testosterone.

This totally changes what I think of you.

Totally, my friend.

My friend.

-Okay, so... -My friend?

Tell me everything. Blow by blow. How did it go down?

I was at the bottle store, obviously,

buying booze for my brother and me for the weekend.

I mean, you know Leroy.

-He must slow down. -He's built differently.

-He is. -And I was also there...

buying drinks for my friend's gender-reveal party.

Yeah, it was actually his gender-reveal party for his friend

because they're still wondering.

No, no, they don't.

Anyway, there was one bottle of brandy,

-and we both wanted it and-- -Whoa, you drink brandy?

Who is this Kayle?

And then I said, "Okay, I'll fight you for it."

So we fought and I beat him up.

Well, I hit him as well.

-Yes, he did. -No, well...

the poor guy thought he did

because he was still dazed from the first hit.

But what happened was, I hit him so hard

and his face is so soft

that my fist bounced off his face and into mine.

No, that's...

That's weird.

I mean, it's difficult to lie to someone

when your lying partner won't let you partake in the lie.

It's inconceivable that we'd draw in a fight.

And we're not partners. I'm not a lesbian.

Look, we...

We fought and it was bloody, but it was fair.

At the end, we shook hands

and then we agreed

that we're both as manly as each other.

-I don't remember that. -And...

we decided there couldn't be a winner.

-That's what happened. -I don't remember.

However, I do remember

that you called your mom and cried like a girl.

No... actually that's a lie because my mother never answers my calls

-unless I send her a calendar invite. -I've never lied in my life.

-I swear on your life. -You just lied.

-I swear on your life. -Guys, guys, guys!

This doesn't seem to be resolved.

This sounds like a draw.

What now?

Barney!

-Who's fighting? -You guys.

This obviously ended in a draw. There has to be a winner.

-Okay. -Come on.

Barney! Barney! Barney! Barney!

Ouch!

Men.

Look, if you win, it's great.

And if you lose, you can still hold your head high.

But if you draw...

It's like kissing your sister.

Or your cousin, if you don't have a sister.

And that's not nice.

They always snitch.

It's the Bokke against the Roses again.

It's the third Anglo Boer war

here in the concentration camp of Klerksdorp!

Okay, guys.

Keep it clean, no jewellery, no biting.

-We don't have to. We can tell him. -Shut up, Kayle.

Kayle, I don't want to do this, bud,

but it's happening.

Do your best, and I'll try not to kill you.

-Let the fists do the talking! -Okay, okay, okay!

-You want to see Kayle angry? -Yes.

-Go. -I'm getting really angry now!

-I'm going to hit you! -Wind him up.

With my fist!

-That's it! We didn't fight! -What?

-We didn't fight. -No!

No, just stop it now!

We had a deal, Kayle.

-You didn't fight? -No.

We...

You guys lied to me.

-Kayle, you don't drink brandy? -No.

It burns my throat.

You didn't hit him so hard that your fist bounced back?

No, but it has happened before.

So who did you fight?

-Some other guy. -One guy?

Who?

-Andre. -Andre?

The mechanic?

Yes, but Flip, you don't understand. He's built differently.

He... Flippa, don't.

-No, no, no. -Flippa.

You don't touch my people and get away with it.

-Flippa, you're making a mistake. -Tjaart, sit!

Andre!

Jeez.

What?

Oh.

Did you hit my men?

Yes!

Why?

I felt like it!

Well, screw you, princess!

You. Me. Tomorrow. Here!

One on one!

What time? Five o'clock!

Flip, make it five past. You have to pack up.

Five past five. I have to pack up!

Okay, I can move some things!

You touch one of my people, you release the dog inside me!

Okay, thank you!

What the hell have you done?

I'm going to fight for your honour. For everyone's.

Flip, you know he's an MMA fighter, right?

What?

Yeah, well, what I liked about Flip is that he went down a hero.

And he died proving that he was a man.

Oh, sorry. I'm giving you interview footage for tomorrow

because he is dead.

Oh, he is totally dead.

Tjaart, I'm so sorry I broke our secret pact.

It's just, I couldn't get beaten up again.

Look...

you might not know this about me, okay,

but...

I'm not a fighter.

Yeah.

I'm much more of a lover.

Yeah, I mean that in both senses of the word.

Pleasing women and platonic friendships.

So, now that you and I have this secret bond,

I want you to know that I will always be your good friend.

Thanks, Kayle.

You're on the blood list.

Is that like blood-brothers?

Yeah, something like that.

Nope.

We can later.

My blood list is a list of people who have done me wrong in any way.

So I donate blood every month on the condition

that no one on my blood list gets my blood.

I'm O-negative so my blood works for anyone.

That's... what you call revenge, bud.

Psst! Joubert.

I have an idea for your letter.

What?

It might be silly, but it should smell like you.

You should rub your cologne or something on it.

-Okay. -She'll love it.

How do you do that?

Okay, well, you take the letter and just rub it on.

-Okay. -Like where you spray your cologne.

Whoa.

-Wow. Okay. -Yes, do it.

That's flippen cool.

-Okay, thanks. -Do it.

Emma is...

She's the ultimate...

wingman.

Wing woman. Wing...

Wing lady.

Uh, Flip.

Yes?

-Are you okay? -Yes.

Are you hiding?

No.

Is it about your fight today?

I'm focusing on my fight.

Are you a bit nervous?

Nervous that I'll kill him.

Flip, you know it's okay if you want to change your mind.

I'm a man, Emma.

I don't change my mind.

Okay.

Emma, Emma.

Have you ever been in a fight?

A guy tried to steal my purse outside Bourbons in Potch,

but I just pepper-sprayed him.

That's not a fair fight.

You know what?

I get scared when the dog in me comes out.

I mean, there's a chance that I rip his head off.

I wouldn't know. I've never been in a fight.

There's a chance.

Flippa, how's it going here, bud?

Why did you drag me into this?

Ouch!

-Out! -Flip, we have a plan.

Okay, come in, come in.

Go on, sit, sit.

Okay, talk to me.

Okay.

There are three hospitals in Klerksdorp.

We've figured out the fastest route to each one.

Life Haven specialises in severe head trauma.

I already have them on speed dial.

You think I'm going to lose.

-Yeah, 1 000%. -Yes.

I mean, I didn't see him hit me,

but when I felt it, he'd already hit me again.

Bud, he hit me so hard I didn't know where I parked my car.

True story. I've been driving him around ever since.

Okay, I--

I want you to be honest with me.

Was it a mistake to challenge Andre?

-Yeah. -Yes. Massive mistake.

Possibly the biggest mistake of your life.

I mean, he beat me up while he had Tjaart in a headlock.

With you, he's gonna have both hands.

And you're a bigger target, bud. He won't miss.

-I am a bigger target. -Yeah.

And this was still gentle. This was his two-out-of-ten.

I heard he hit a guy so hard,

his nose bone went through his brain and out the back of his head.

-Was that his ten-out-of-ten? -I'd say so, yes.

Flippa, are you going to hurl?

Swallow, swallow. Head back.

-No. -You're going to make Kayle hurl.

-Flippa? -Is he a Christian?

That's the thing. He is, but he's an old-testament Christian.

Violence.

Violence. War.

Those are his two favourite things.

What makes him so good is that he...

He can beat you

to the brink of death,

-but you're not quite dead. -I know.

Flip, it's time.

Are you sure?

Isn't your watch a bit fast?

No, Flip. Come on, Andre doesn't like to wait.

You don't want to upset him further.

Attention, everyone.

As you know, I challenged Andre, the MMA fighter,

to a fight for your honour.

He beat up two of our own, so...

I need to teach him a lesson.

He's a coward who should've used his words instead of his fists.

But sir, you said a real man talks with his fists.

Miems, your ears are 80 years old.

-I didn't say that. -Yes, you did say that.

What I meant...

was to speak your mind.

-So... -Are you going to flake?

I'm not an ice-cream, Q. I'm a man.

And as a man,

I don't have to prove anything to anyone by fighting.

He's flaking.

Flip, you can't flake. He's a mechanic.

He'll tell all the mechanics. You'll never get your car serviced.

I'm not flaking.

Of course not.

I'm going to defend DPM's honour.

And...

I'm inviting anyone to defend that honour with me.

Anyone?

Joubert,

will you fight next to me?

You told him it was a one-on-one.

We also said it was a one-on-one and he beat us both up at once.

He's huge. Did you see him?

Q, umshini wami, right?

-You want to shini with me, big guy? -Nah, I'm cool, man.

Gavin,

bring some of that infamous Indian courage.

I have a family.

I also want a family!

I don't want to die before I meet them.

Emma.

I'll distract him and you hit him with your handbag.

Not? Okay. Joanne, seduce him. That's what you do.

I'll fight with you, sir.

He won't hit an old woman.

No, no, he will. He's an animal.

You'll disintegrate like a cloud of dust.

No one then?

I can't fight with a concussion. I already speak slowly.

Okay.

Last chance.

Three,

two,

one and a half,

one, zero.

Emma.

I want to see my PA.

Bring your handbag for a...

It's a bit hot.

Fifty bucks says he doesn't come out of that office.

Shut up, Kayle.

No, I can't look.

Let's dance, pappa.

Shit!

Bitch!

Well, he's down.

Flip!

-Tell all your friends! -Flip, Flip!

Flip!

Come on, come on.

Yes, come.

Come on.

Thanks, Jabu. I'll let you know if I go out again.

There's a famous guy you might've heard of.

His name was David.

He didn't have a surname.

And one day,

there was a big guy who wanted to bully him.

Goliath.

Also no surname.

And David knew that Goliath could crush his head with his hands.

Did he stand back?

No.

Did he fight fair?

Also no.

He threw a rock at him and knocked him out.

And then he married a bunch of women.

I'd settle for one.

Hey, is this too much?

No, this is good. It's literally perfect.

-Are you sure? -Yes, yes.

Okay.

Tjaart.

Come in!

Flippa.

Gents.

Just between us. Did you see him fall?

Yeah, we did.

-Yes. -He went down, I didn't.

When I walked out and saw his eyes, it was...

my dog saw his dog,

-and these two dogs-- -Flip, he's in a coma.

What?

In the hospital.

I have good news and a bit of bad news.

The good news is...

our lives aren't in danger anymore.

Andre has been sorted out.

That's a relief, sir.

It is.

But it brings me to the bad news.

Oh, okay.

People, last night at around 18h00,

Andre was in a serious car accident on his way home from work.

He's currently in a critical condition in hospital,

and he's chilling in a coma.

-What? -It's heartbreaking for his family.

He also lost both his legs.

-What? -Oh, no.

I wasn't aware of that detail.

It's tragic,

but the streets are safer.

Flip, do you think he crashed his car because he couldn't see?

Okay, I don't know how that's relevant.

You pepper sprayed him in the eyes.

There's definitely a chain of events that points towards you.

-Shut up, Kayle. -Flip, did you kill Andre?

No, he's not dead.

He's in a coma doing what he loves...

fighting... for his life.

He's far from dead.

The driver of the other car is dead.

Oh, wow.

Why didn't you tell me earlier?

That's important information, Tjarra.

We'll make up a gift box for Andre.

-I'll make muffins, sir. -Thank you, Auntie Miems.

Can you organise that crowd-funding website thing

then we can get him some plastic legs.

Yes, I'm sure I can.

Some beer, biltong--

We can send him loads of polony.

We don't want to make him angry again, no.

Don't kick a man when he's down.

People must know that DPM might be rough,

but we care.

I think there's a nice lesson to this story.

And that is...

just be nice.

I mean, if everyone's nice to each other,

no one will get punched in the face.

No one will be alone.

Life rewards nice people.

-Nice people do nice things. -Joubert!

-So... -Your jacket.

-Yes. -Thanks.

Just be nice to everyone.

Or you might wake up one morning

and wonder why your legs don't work anymore.

Yes, Corné, it's Tjaart.

There's a guy with you in hospital named Andre.

Yes, I know he's on my blood list,

but give him some if he needs it, okay?

Okay, thanks.

Cheers, bye.

Tjaart Ferreira, you're getting soft.