Original subtitles

Thanks for doing this, hey.

I know it was late notice and all.

Weekend, weekend, weekend!

Wine for the pain.

Yes, yes, Flip.

-Yeah? -This is Kabil.

-Oh. -Hello.

Staff don't know it yet. They're going to love it.

I got some salami and a few nice cheeses.

Got the wine?

No, no.

No wine.

No, no wine.

Yeah, Flip. I don't think he drinks wine.

Wow.

A sommelier who doesn't drink wine.

Somalian.

Sommelier.

Somalian.

-Sommelier. -Somalian.

Sommelier. Wine.

No, no wine.

Flip, you sms'd me saying,

"I want to spoil the staff on Friday.

Get me a Somalian."

Yes, I was in matric.

Oh, do I have matric?

Um...

It's just a small misunderstanding.

-Thank you. -Hey, Flip!

Where is the surprise?

Yeah.

Somalia

I am a pirate from Somalia

I'm a pirate from Somalia

Captain Phillips is my friend

No, man, Jouba.

Where did you learn to fold a tie, Joubert?

Was your dad absent?

If you can't fold a tie, something went wrong.

I keep it folded for sentimental reasons.

It's the last tie my dad folded

before he lost his hands in the mill.

Really?

No.

-You shouldn't joke about that. -Yeah, not funny.

-Honour your dad. -And your mother.

Big boss.

That's how you knot a tie.

Q, teach this boy how to knot a tie.

It's a clip-on.

Ayanda, do you miss us?

Ah, Ayandatjie.

I called her Amanda for a year.

On her first day, she had no idea how to turn on a computer.

But then old Flippie took her under his wing,

and now she drives a luxury Merc and she's my boss.

Overachiever.

Flip, I had a bit of a crisis. I'm going to be late.

Late?

For the pitch?

The pitch?

For the pitch meeting you requested.

Ah, the pitch meeting I requested.

Is everything alright?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll piets it.

Piets you here, piets you there...

Drive carefully, okay?

Over and out.

Look, I'm a busy man.

I'm very busy.

Lots to do, lots.

I operate.

A lot of meetings. You know, make polony great again.

You can't expect me to remember what it's all about.

That's why I have a PA.

Say that again.

You said you'll have some ideas ready that will...

rev...revolutin...

-Revolutioni-- -Revolutionise polony.

Doesn't sound like me.

Why didn't you remind me?

I did, Flip. Almost every day.

You just say, "We'll circle back."

Okay, right.

Let us circle back to this.

No, Flip, we can't.

It's today.

Okay!

-Explain it to me carefully. -Okay.

She flagged a few valid concerns.

So you said to her, in your Trump voice,

that you had a great idea.

"Cash is king."

Do the voice.

"Cash is king.

Okay, don't do that. It's terrible.

Continue.

"We'll sell so much polony,

our operational problems will seem trivial."

Yes, that sounds like me.

Did I perhaps tell you what my plans were?

To be honest, it didn't look like you had a plan.

Well...

my pants are full of plans, my girl.

-Okay. -Yes, my pants are full.

You may leave the room.

Where are you from?

Stella.

It's a very small town.

-Do you know where it is? -No.

My dad and brother farm there.

But you never wanted to get into farming?

No, if I wanted to struggle, I'd buy a boat.

I just can't afford a boat yet.

And favourite food?

-Pizza. -And if you could be an animal?

Bushbaby.

Wow, that's cute.

Maybe a lion then.

Bushbaby.

What is that for?

I'm writing a bio about every staff member for Instagram.

Oh, okay.

-Yeah, let me take a photo. -Gosh.

So, this is all part of my content plan.

I'm sure our clients want to know who sells their polony.

Obviously.

And I get to know everyone better.

So, two birds with one stone.

Nice.

Perfect.

Listen, save yourself the trouble, take a group photo and say,

"Meet the team".

You'll make your life much easier.

-I think it's adorable. -Are you really sure?

-Yeah. -Sorry, bud.

Jeez, my lungs are clapping hands.

You know, you're right... Tjaart!

-Do Tjaart. -Bud, I have to smoke.

Emma wants to ask you a few questions about your bio.

I don't have a "bi-ou".

Look, if you're bi, you're gay.

Full stop.

Say I make out with a guy, that's gay, right?

-Agree? -Yes.

Say I make out with a girl right afterwards,

I still made out with a guy. I'm still gay.

They don't cancel each other out.

Just say you're gay.

I love the rainbow,

but the LGBT alphabet people hijacked the thing.

You can't own the rainbow.

But I fly my rainbow flag in town to protest.

I show everyone.

And they gesture back at me.

Support, yes!

Yay!

They gesture me, and I say, "It's fine!"

We're taking back that rainbow, pal.

We're taking it back.

Emma,

get everyone in the boardroom, please.

Everyone, boardroom.

Please.

Come in, come in, come in.

Tjaart, sit.

Thanks, guys.

Urgent drill, just for the hell of it.

We need one good polony idea to revolash...

Transform.

No pressure. We have 17 minutes!

And... go!

Polony hasn't changed since PW was president.

And a lot has changed since then. Right, Auntie?

Emma, you're the secretary. Take notes.

You'll probably say I'm a bitch,

but this sounds like something you left to the last minute,

and now it's our problem.

You're right.

You are a bitch.

Come on, guys. Ideas, ideas, ideas.

Sixteen minutes. You're wasting your own time.

There are no bad ideas under the sun.

-Anyone? -Me, me, me.

-Anyone? -Kayle.

-Anybody? -Me.

-Kayle. -Me, me, me, me.

Kayle. Go!

Okay, how about we change up the packaging?

Bright colours.

Some funny South African slogans.

Eye catching.

-That's a good one. -You like it?

-Yeah. -Thank you, Kayle.

You've just proved me wrong.

There are bad ideas under the sun.

That's why you pale bastards shouldn't be in the sun.

-Hey. -Wow.

Tjara?

Okay, so we take...

-No, no, skip that. -Circle back.

-We'll circle back. -Bossman, Bossman.

Let me guess... curry polony?

Cheap shot, Flip.

I'm joking, I'm joking. Put me in the Durban box, hey?

I'm Third Generation Klerksdorp

Okay.

Blow my mind.

Spicy polony.

Spice-- Yeah.

Thanks.

Emma, add it to the list... right at the bottom.

Q!

Oh, um...

Well, maybe we can lace the polony with--

With?

Dagga!

Yeah, call it chill-o-ny.

It's perfect because every time you get high,

you get the munchies.

But now you're munching while you're getting high.

Close the loop.

There are enough drugs in that community.

Flip, which community are you talking about?

The community who eat polony.

-Okay, I have an idea. -Yes.

Remove the ingredients from the packaging.

We let people guess what's in the polony.

-Not right. -If they guess correctly,

they win more polony.

Hey, Flip. That's actually a good idea.

We'll never give away a prize. No one will guess what's in polony.

Rule number one, never draw attention to what's in polony.

If they want to know they can Google.

The less the polony community know, the better.

-Yes, that's true. -It is.

People were better off before they knew what was in polony.

Google takes the fun out of everything.

No one wonders anymore.

How high is Table Mountain? Let's see.

Google, Google. 1 000 metres.

What was the score in the '95 World Cup Final?

Google, Google, Google. 15-12.

At what age should an average guy marry?

Google. 35.

Google's wrong.

Correct answer is, when I'm ready.

-Chocoloni. -Oh, yeah.

Nothing says "I love you" like a log of chocolate infused polony.

What girl will hook up with you if you give her chocolate polony?

Enough with the jokes.

Bil-tony!

Focus, guys.

Also a desert polony, a pavlova...

Pav-lony!

-Pav-lony! -Pav-lony!

-I'd buy it. -That's actually good!

Clowns until the bitter end, right?

Yeah.

You'll stay there until you come up with a good idea.

A good... idea.

-Flip, come on! -You're behaving like a bloody child.

I'm not a child, I'm a man.

-Gavin, no. -This isn't right, Flip.

-We're not animals. -We have actual work to do.

Your actual work isn't important right now.

-What are your ideas, Flip? -I have my ideas.

Hey, Flip's the idea machine.

Tell them, Flip.

Listen to this.

Polony.

Pill... ony.

Pills that turn into dinosaurs when thrown into water--

You don't have an idea!

I have many ideas, Joanne!

Flip.

Aman-- Ayanda.

What are you doing?

Um...

These clowns locked me out, but the joke's on them.

Spare key.

Come, come, come.

Get back to work, hooligans.

Come, come, come.

Well, cycling.

Nice, mountain or road?

No, road cycling.

He peddles the bicycle.

You're dying to ask me whether I wear cycling shorts, hey?

-Yes. -Of course I do.

I never leave home without them.

I don't know what it is about cycling.

The wind on my face

and the sun on my skin.

You guys should follow me on Strava.

Well, you know, if you can keep up.

No, no, I'm kidding. It's an app.

Yeah, well, it's more like family to me.

Q, favourite song?

Oh.

-You want to read that back? -No, I got it.

-You good? -Yeah, yeah.

Wow. Impressive.

What's one thing you can't stand?

Cyclists.

I was just playing around. I like to mess around with people

and make them feel uncomfortable, you know?

No, something I really don't like is these interviews.

Nah, just kidding with you guys.

Snakes.

Yeah.

I'll be with you shortly.

-I'll get us some coffee. -No, Flip. Please.

I don't have all day. Let's get going.

Okay, I hear you. Right.

Pitch, pitch, pitch.

This will blow your mind.

Can't wait.

Ayanda,

-close your eyes-- -No.

Okay.

What is the best part of Christmas?

It's not gifts or family. Oh, no, no.

It's the honey glazed gammon.

And polony, being a distant cousin of Gammon,

we cover it with honey, and there you go.

Polony for the sweet-tooth.

Pav-lony!

-So nice! Pav-lony. -Pav-lony?

Yeah.

Are you being serious?

Oh, am I being seri--

No, no, no.

No, the real idea.

Two birds with one stone.

We build a rugby field for special children,

and launch a special polony.

You know, like a rugby ball.

Rugby-lony!

I thought you'd pitch ideas

that solve the actual problems, Flip.

The dwindling sales, the slow reporting,

and the fact that you're promising to spend money we don't have

on a rugby field.

Well, I was getting to--

And now you're talking about ways to change polony.

Not me.

Nope.

It's that bunch of paluka's out there.

The staff thought it would be a good idea to spice polony up,

but I said no.

Don't mess with a winning recipe.

Maybe the staff must stop coming up with ridiculous ideas

and do their actual work.

Thanks.

I agree.

But you know, I inherited these people.

I didn't choose them.

Look, I'm not one to throw my staff under the bus,

but if I hadn't, I'd be under that bus.

Then I'd be dead, you know?

Now they're lying there. I'm alive.

Now I'm in a position to save them.

They should be grateful.

Okay, let's mix it up a bit.

Gavin,

what would you say is Auntie Miems' favourite colour?

I'll go with emerald green.

Okay, interesting.

Auntie?

Orange, white, and blue.

Did I win something?

The numbers don't lie, Flip.

Eight percent down in the first quarter,

twelve in the second and third,

and the projections of the fourth are heading north of 14.

Ayanda, you can talk English, you can talk Afrikaans,

but don't talk numbers to me.

I know it has been rough lately,

but I promise we'll reach our targets.

How, Flip?

Light a fire.

I'll light a fire under them.

-Light a fire? -Yup.

I'll light a fire under them

and if they don't work harder, I'll cook their goose for them.

Your solution is a braai.

Braai is always the solution.

And when do I braai best?

On Saturdays.

-Saturdays are-- -You're going to work on Saturdays?

Hmm.

Yep. That's my pitch.

We'll work on Saturday.

And your team will be fine with that?

You'll need more than one Saturday, you know that?

Ayanda,

what I'm about to say isn't all your fault,

but you climbed your ladder...

pretty quickly.

You don't understand what it takes

to earn the respect of your staff members.

Those people...

love me.

Very much.

They'd sacrifice their lives and their Saturdays

at the snap of my fingers.

Just make sure that you get--

Okay, sex with Vin Diesel.

Marry Vin Diesel.

Kill Vin Diesel.

That wasn't the question.

Your questions are boring.

Thank you, Joanne.

GROUP PHOTO

Bye, everyone. Have a good weekend.

-Bye. -Goodbye.

Tell them Klerksdorp sends love and regards.

And? Did she like the ideas?

Dammit, Kayle.

Are you looking for trouble?

No, I was just asking.

No, she did not like the ideas.

She also doesn't like that we're behind on sales and deadlines.

And the conclusion she came to

is that we have to work Saturdays.

-What? -What?

-You're joking. -That's just crazy.

For how much pay?

Well, Gavin. In rands and cents... nothing.

Nora!

But we can watch the rugby together,

and our morale will be back at max.

We're not working Saturdays for free, Flip.

Flippie, I'd go to war with you, but not on a Saturday.

Good heavens, it's a sin.

No, Auntie. Sundays are sin.

Sir, I'm a Seventh Day Adventist. Saturday is my Sunday.

-Oh. -So is Monday your Tuesday then?

I don't know.

Flip, I'm also a Seventh Day Adventist.

Nice try.

I often drive past you at the driving range on Saturdays.

-People pray differently. -Guys,

if the Bokke can work on Saturdays, surely we can too.

They get paid like a million rand!

Don't shoot the messenger.

You know, I told Ayanda

there'd be a revolution,

but she doesn't care.

Flip, Flip, call her!

You know what, I will.

Don't worry, I'll take care of you.

-Yeah, call her right now. -And put her on speaker.

-Then we can all hear. -Yes, brilliant.

That's an idea.

Damn good idea.

Call Ayanda.

-You're the boss. -Mm-hm.

Did I forget something?

Yes, that these people don't work Saturdays.

-Okay, so thank you and-- -It was your idea, Flip.

-It was your idea. -Nope.

Why would I suggest that?

These people have lives and their lives matter.

You know, all lives matter.

You there in Rustenburg--

Flip, am I on speakerphone?

Okay, well, everyone can hear this.

You catch up on projected numbers, or we make cuts.

And that means staff.

Goodbye.

Never call a woman on speakerphone.

It doesn't have to be all bad.

We can make music, I can tan some meat--

You're the one who keeps us from our work.

Sorry, Flip. It's better if you stay at home for this one.

Yeah.

You don't want me here?

Is that what you're saying?

Is it?

Is it?

Take a break, Flip.

Hi, brother.

Bad news, we can't drink tomorrow.

Yes, I have to work.

Yeah, I know, I know. I'm also sad.

But we can hook up with a few girls on Sunday, I promise.

Cool, love you. Bye.

Come, come, come. What are you standing around for?

This polony must move!

Come on, catch a vibe.

Look awake.

No.

Don't get off that bike.

-Why? -I don't want to see your willy.

What am I supposed to do?

Go home and change into a real man's shorts.

I'm not riding all the way home.

Men's shorts. Men's shorts.

-It's unfair. -Morning, morning.

Morning.

Jeez!

You look rough.

Pour me a coffee.

My weekend starts on Friday at five o'clock

with a double whisky and a beer.

And it ends at nine o'clock Monday morning

with a double whisky and coffee.

You're not strong enough to know what happens in between.

So unfair.

I must stop taking his shit.

You've got to stand up for yourself, Kayle.

You've got to stand up for yourself.

-Gavin, whoa, buddy. -This sucks, man.

Mags and the kids are having a pool party and I'm stuck here.

This is bullshit.

Joanne, it's 11 o'clock.

Exactly, I could've started an hour ago already.

Nice.

How far are you with those write-ups?

Not far.

I've got a bit of a social media vibe going.

I'd like to check it before you publish,

if that's okay?

Yes, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, cool.

Don't.

So I'm quite big on social media.

I've got a channel, if I'm allowed to advertise.

It's called the 'Klerksdorp Cartel'.

I covered a go-carting scene in Klerksdorp.

I've got 94 followers.

I also review flowers.

Hey!

Emma!

Come down, come down!

Guys, Flip's here.

No ways.

Why is he here?

Tasty drink?

Joanne!

Nothing says it's alright to work on a Saturday

like two kilos of wors, 18 chops, a few Oepsies,

and a bottle or two of karate juice.

Just ignore him.

I've got lots of meat!

Great! A chop for my Tjara.

Wait... Where are you guys going?

Hey, it's Halaal!

That's better!

I'm feeling it!

I'm feeling it!

Hey, Joanne, come dance!

Come on.

Loosen up a little. Let's shoot the Makou!

Shoot the Makou!

Makou! Makou!

Makou!

Those are Oepsies.

No, Flip, you can't.

Sorry, but I'm only human.

We don't have to catch up everything on the first Saturday.

Then I'm also going.

-Q! -Hey, buddy!

Joanne!

-Tjara's also here! -Hallelujah!

-What have you got here? -Help yourself.

Some nyama?

Lesson for the weekend.

Keeping each other from work is a team sport.

I told you that a braai is always the solution.

Guys, can we take a group photo?

A quick one.

-Must we do it now? -Okay, come on.

Come on, come on. Come!

You should've listened to me from the start.

Nice.

Okay, everyone!

Braai!

-Braai! -Braai!

Emma!

-Yes? -This group photo post is damn nice.

Thank you.

You should sit with each one and write a short bio or something.

-That could be nice. -Yes.

Yes, that could be nice.

Dammit, dammit, dammit.

Dammit!