All language subtitles for Mo s02e03 Yes Chef No Chef.eng

We didn't want to wake you just yet.

Yeah, you were crying all night.

I thought he was dying at one point.

What are we talking about? I was talking
to your mom and brother about travel

documents. So, as I was saying, it's an
easy process.

You'll have them by early next year.

But going to Palestine, I wouldn't be
doing my job if I didn't say I think

a bad idea.

Why? You think it's not safe there? I
watch the news every day. I haven't

my sisters in 30 years.

Listen, I don't care. I need to go. I
hear you, but my concern is your status

here. You fled Palestine and Kuwait, got
asylum.

If you go over there, a court might
think, like, oh, it's safer for them to

there now. They don't have to have their
asylum anymore.

Is it likely to happen?

No, but a judge put... Then I need to
go. Me too.

Me too.

Lizzie, if I get my asylum granted...

I can keep my travel document and go to
Palestine too, right?

Mo, you do understand that when you
crossed into Mexico, you basically

invalidated your entire asylum case,
right? Yeah, but you got me expedited

hearing. No, honey, that was Judge
Swanson taking pity on you. Okay, let's

it. Let's use pity. Just put me on the
stand. I was kidnapped by the cartel.

I had to walk for miles. I was in the
jungle, lost.

Mo, just stop.

And then I caught a bus.

Stop. All right, worse come to worse.

What are my options?

Well, you can marry Maria, get a green
card. You guys are still together,

Did they break up?

Oh, yeah, it does sound like he's dying.

I told you.

Mo? Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Why didn't you tell me Maria was dating
someone else? You let her ambush me like

that? Mo, why the hell would I drop a
bomb on you like that when you just got

released? Who's winning? We haven't even
started yet. Did you know that Maria

was seeing someone else too?

Bro, I...

I don't know anything. I just know me
and Dallas and my life.

I don't care. Sorry about your layover
at the border, kid.

But it's good to have you back.

Detention center?

Habibi, what's going to happen with your
case now?

I'm concerned about it, but Lizzie's a
miracle worker. Sure, she got me another

date. She had it so fast, I thought she
bribed the judge.

Didn't I tell you Lizzie was the best?

This homeless ain't doing it for me.

Now, after trying that new spot on
Westheimer...

The Israeli couscous there is divine.

What you are saying, man?

Couscous in North Africa? Stop with this
Israeli couscous nonsense. There's no

such thing. Really?

To hell with the couscous. I'll just
make sure y 'all come hungry for my

housewarming party. The whole gonna be a
global buffet. We got wings, we got

sliders, we got puff puff, we got jello,
we got acara. I also ask Dallas to make

the magluba with the halal duck.

You know what? I'm gonna make you guys
my world famous falafel taco.

I really perfected the falafel when I
was in Mexico.

Man, I had my own falafel cart. I had
the whole situation.

Honestly, I think it'd be really
profitable if I opened up my own chain

It's all about the family recipe and the
heat of the oil.

Mo, just perfect being cool around
Maria.

Maria's gonna be there? Israeli couscous
is a toasted pasta in tiny balls

developed in Israel in the 1950s when
rice was scarce.

Where are y 'all reading from?

Wikipedia. I will change it later.

Congratulations. You took it from the
Italians, the pasta, and you rolled it

into little balls, and you call it
Israeli couscous.

Why is Maria going to be there? Bro,
Maria and Toya have been hanging out for

months.

I'm both on cool with Maria, too.

That's how this works. When you break up
with somebody and you're the oldest

friend in the world, you got to pick a
side. I thought it'd be easy for you,

it's not.

I know what side I pick, Nick.

You already know. This is why I was
worried about you coming.

You don't want me to go?

It's okay.

I'm just your oldest friend. Oh, God.

No big deal. Do you and Maria get magic
tattoos, too? Why do you have to be so

overdramatic? I'm not being dramatic. I
don't have to go. Oh, good. You're worse

than my mom. Your mom is a wonderful
lady. I love your mother, by the way. I

don't like you talking about your mom
that way. I want you to come to the

with me, Mom. I'd be imposing.

Why? It'd be too much.

No, no. We'd be overjoyed if you came. I
can't. I really... You know, honestly,

with today, I can't go. Why not? I gotta
sell some merch.

I got a bunch of merch that I gotta
liquidate to make a little scrap before

full -time in the oil business.

I'll take a bottle.

Going to pour your oil all over that
delicious Israeli couscous.

You know what happened? That was a good
one. That was a good one. You know what

I got for you? A little Bethesda. That's
what I got for you. A little wiggle,

too. Are we even playing?

I quit.

Hey, bro. I see you with that chain,
man. Come in, come in, come in. Check it

out. Check it out.

Oh, wow. What you got, kid? I have
everything, man. Come here. I know you

girl. She's gonna love this. This is an
amazing Gucci purse right here.

You open it up, you can put all your
personals right here. There's a little

pouch right here. This is where my girl
used to keep her chapstick, but she's

gone. She died?

No, man. She's not dead.

She just left me like it was nothing.

And yeah, I messed up a little bit, but
she's always the most important thing to

me.

Listen, man.

Fuck that, bro. You need to go to the
strip club and get you a pancake.

I don't know. Breakfast at a strip club
seems unsanitary.

Man, a pancake is not breakfast. A
pancake is when the stripper sits you

and squeezes the titties together.

So my face is in the middle of the
titties? Is that what you mean? Yeah.

It still seems unsanitary.

And also, I'm not emotionally ready for
that. And strip clubs are just not my

thing. Well, listen, man. You might want
to try one of them dating apps or

something, man. Put everybody else on.
God, dating apps are so stressful. What

picture do you put? What angle?

Am I going to get catfished? I got to
write a bio.

Is it a good bio? Is it not? Is it
interesting enough?

I got to depend on an algorithm that
doesn't even know me. My mom knows me

better than the algorithm. If I want to
be set up, she'll do it.

And it just all feels like fake love.

Listen, man. Only thing fake is this bag
you're trying to sell me, bro.

You know, this is an authentic bootleg.

Okay, you want the real one? Why don't
you go to the Galleria and spend 2 ,000

bucks for the same thing?

You know, if you want to be
disrespectful, why don't you just go

Which one you think, sugar?

Why not get both? Treat yourself.

How did I get so lucky?

How long you guys been together?

50 years, come me.

No, what are you talking about? It'll be
49.

49, 50, what difference do it make? I'm
yours till the end of time.

You know what? Just keep watching.

You can have both of them.

You can take everything.

Honey, what's the matter?

And I'm emotionally not ready to see
Maria.

No, I'm sensing that you have a habit of
sugarcoating the truth.

No, you're right, Frank.

I do.

Sweetheart. I don't care if you're
Texan, Mexican, or what.

Long term, women want to be with a
mature adult.

Fun and games.

That's easy.

You get mature now, that's going to take
some work. And you can show Maria that

you're mature by not hiding from her.
You don't want to hide, man.

I don't.

The wound's so fresh.

I know, honey, but showing up and being
respectful, you won't expect that.

It'll surprise her. Just remember, Moe,
your feelings are your feelings. Who

ain't controlled around here anyway?

I am.

Moe's in control.

Nicholas, why are you always hiding from
me?

Now come here.

Yes, Mom.

Oh, God, chill for her today.

More like an arsonist.

Be careful. That's my mommy.

Yep. I see where you get it from.

Mm -hmm.

Save me.

You okay?

Yeah, if you can give me a muzzle for
Nick's mom.

That really is a mama's boy, huh?

More like her toddler.

It is.

I mean, I'm all for him loving his mom,
but this is just dysfunctional. You sure

Moe isn't coming, right?

That's what Moe told Nick.

Okay.

Right, because I'm...

Guy is on his way. Oh, that's good. It'd
be great to see him again.

Yeah, right?

Yeah. Thank you.

Like, what even is this? I have way too
much food.

You have to take someone with you.

Girl, I already got a chef at home.

Oh, excuse me.

You know, this kid is a good baby.

He's good.

He's, you know, at least another man,
but black at least. Both are black.

Stop it, honey.

Hey, you got a lighter by chance?

Yeah.

Front pocket. Go for it.

Yep.

Whoa.

Ask me for my number, please.

Oh, yeah, you can hold on to that. I got
plenty at my restaurant.

Oh, restaurant.

I was in the restaurant business.

Yeah. It's hard out there, man.

Margins are so slim.

I was cleaning up, actually. Couldn't
keep up with demand.

Good for you.

What kind of food? It was Latin fusion.

Business was solid, but there was other
factors.

Lifestyle, mostly. I had to get back to
Eastern, but I might jump back into it.

Well, cool. I'll definitely have to try
some of your falafel tacos. World

famous. Ooh, world famous, huh?

Mexico, mostly.

Mexico's part of the world.

I'll see you inside.

Thanks, man. Appreciate the light. Yeah.

Whoa, I thought you said you wouldn't
come in.

I'm more mature than you thought.

Oh, what are you doing here?

Good to see you too.

Yeah, this is a surprise.

Boy, it's been like two years since
we've seen each other. It's amazing.

You know, it's a real surprise. Did you
have a baby?

Yeah. That's amazing.

I'm really happy for you guys. Thank
you. Really.

So thrilled for you and this house. Holy
shit. Who said that?

Mom's here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no,
no, no, no, no. Let me show you around

real quick. I'm coming, okay?

New place.

Let me show you.

It's good you are pushing through.

You are very good together.

Stay together.

A moment, huh?

Hey, you take your shoes off.

That's a very good move. I like it.

Thank you. Yeah, bro, you know.

I absorb white people, bro, nine times
out of ten, bro. They come inside with

the shoe.

Shit, dirt, yeah, everywhere.

They do yoga in the floor.

Bro, it's crazy, but you good.

Yeah, I take my shoes off. It's common
courtesy.

I'm Guy.

Hamid. Guy, your name Guy?

I'm a guy named Guy.

It's crazy, bro.

Yeah.

So, uh, how do you know Nick and Toya?
She's fool, bro.

How do you know Nicky Toya, guy?

All right, come on.

Ah, look at it.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Relax right
there. Look at that.

Okay. Oh,

come on.

That's crazy.

It's not crazy. It's a dimmer. No, no,
no, no, no. It gives you options.

You want romantic light to shit?

You don't like my light? It's very
weird. Look at the wallpaper.

This is moisture -resistant fabric.

Okay, yeah, that's what I would... Touch
my wallpaper. Okay, why are you acting

like this? I'm just saying, that's water
-resistant material.

Okay. You're not into that. Look at
this.

Crazy water pressure. The water pressure
is actually really solid. Come on!

I do like water pressure. You got me
there. You think that's crazy? The

wallpaper? Take that shit back. Can we
just please get back to... No, no, no,

wait, wait, wait. Where?

Where? How's life?

No, no, no. Let me show you at least
something else in the house. Come on.

haven't even seen the house.

Take my hand. Take my hand. All right,
relax.

Come on.

Hey. Hey, baby. You made it.

It came.

Yes, I'm having so much fun. This is
such a nice break from the restaurant.

stressful there.

Oh, by the way, I got us two tickets to
The Music Man Saturday night.

What's The Music Man? The musical with
Hugh Jackman.

Wolverine thing? Babe, Wolverine has a
beautiful voice. Yes.

A musical?

All right.

Okay. Yeah, I'll try it.

You look like an usher anyway.

Oh, come on. You know I look good.

Mucho. Poquito.

Mucho. Muy poquito.

Poquito. So these walls are, you know, a
little bit different.

Yeah. Come on. Let me show you the
nursery.

I don't need to see the nursery. I'm
sure you got a dope.

Crab, and you have a little doll that
plays lullabies. I have a motion sensor

diaper genie. Oh, my God.

It's kind of slow.

It's crazy.

Come on, let me take a look. Wave it,
and it opens up. Okay, look, look, look.

The house is beautiful.

As a matter of fact, it's so nice, it's
kind of depressing me a little bit. I'm

happy for you and Toya. I really, really
am. But can we please get back to the

party? All right. Maria's here with
another dude.

Okay.

I'm fine. I knew she was seeing somebody
else.

No problem. No problem.

He's Jewish.

So he's Jewish. Why do you think that
we're Franklin who offended?

You think I'd be offended? He's a semi
and I'm a semi. We're cousins.

Says the man who was offended by the
origins of couscous.

Couscous is not the same thing.

No, it's just rolled up pasta.

Everybody knows this.

I'll be there in a minute, mommy.

Stay here. Don't move. Don't move. I'm
not a dog. It's really insulting.

I'm hungry. I need some jollovers.

Everybody, please, gather round.

I would like to say a prayer for this
beautiful new home.

You didn't hear that I want to pray? Get
up!

Young man, remove your cap.

Father God, by the blood of Jesus, King
of kings and Lord of lords,

the one who carried us on his back at
Mount of Calvary, we pray.

that you will guide Nicholas and Latoya,
that they will follow your commandment

and marry, that they will stop living in
sin like he did.

Father God, we also pray, guide us in
fighting our neighbors with their ring

cameras pointed at the driveway. What we
do is not their business.

Father God, guide them. In Jesus' name,
we pray, Father God.

That's him?

He's cool. We met outside.

You met? Yeah, he told me he has a
fusion restaurant in Mexico or

He said what?

I'm begging you, Father, to give sense
to those bashful heathens that are in

Houston farmer's market. They have
raised the price of Manuka honey. Is it

Lord? Father, remove grit.

You like this shit, bro? You're eating?

It's pretty good, yeah.

Come here, it's missing an olive oil.
Hey, hey, hey, you don't dip in the

middle. Start at your end and go all the
way across in the same lane. Don't look

left, don't look right. You stay on your
own path.

Oh, fuck your path, bro. I take from any
path. Look, I eat, I eat, bro.

You know, bro, you like this. Oh, hello.

You know who made this shit, bro? Who?
It was God.

What God?

God.

He's a guy, and his fucking name is Guy,
bro. And he's Israeli.

Israeli chef, man.

Crazy.

I'm sorry.

Bro, this is not enough, bro. There is
Israeli inside you. Fucking stomach,

Out of every dish, he makes hummus.

Next year, falafel taco. What the fuck
does he mean?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Take it easy, bro.

I'm not your bro.

Hey, stop talking.

Mama's doing prayer. She's a queen.
That's my mama.

That's not your mother. I grew up with
her. She's like a...

Muhammad! Yeah, yeah, boy.

You know better than to interrupt my
conversing with the Lord.

Sorry, ma 'am.

Now shut your mouth and bow your head.

Yes, ma 'am.

As I was saying, Father God, I've only
gone for six months, and this is what

do. Bow your head. Bow your head and ask
for forgiveness.

Look, if you do this to me, with the
help of some courage, you should have a

little boy. It's perfectly mixed. And
you put the holes in the cabbage. All

right, fine.

Sorry, Mama.

Boy, what type of friends do you have?

Can you see they don't respect God?

Your hummus is cheap, bro.

Yeah? How about I wear my shoes in your
house?

I dare you, bro. I dare you to come to
my house.

You're just sick, you know that?

You really think I'm doing this to get
back at you?

Yes. I am not a stunt 10 -year -old boy,
okay?

I'm the child? You're the child. You
are. You're a damn child.

You told me to move on, okay?

I didn't mean it. People say things.

I didn't want you to go off on that.

It's getting there for 10 years. You're
so dramatic.

You know what? I'm going to start dating
your cousin. What do I care?

Because you and I are not together
anymore.

We are not together anymore. Okay, fine.
You know what? I figured it out.

It's emotional terrorism. That's what
this is.

What? Yeah, you're an emotional
terrorist who hijacks planes and flies

people's feelings.

And you're an immature child who broke
my heart.

Dwight!

Now I'm ready It's been too long

Looking steady.

My love feels strong.

You held my hand.

Oh, baby.

Brought me through.

I knew love.

Are you okay, Mama?

Yes, Habibi, mashallah.

Are you feeling okay?

I'm good.

I'm good.

It's okay,

Habibi. Don't pretend.

I really messed up this time.

It's time.

I'm a bit confused by your application,
Mr. Najjar. You were born in Kuwait.

Is that correct?

Yes, Your Honor. Stand to address the
court, please.

Yes, Your Honor, but I was also raised
in Houston.

So you are a Kuwaiti citizen?

Your Honor, my client is a stateless
person. He's Palestinian.

Palestinian?

Mr. Najjar, why exactly did you go down
to Mexico?

Well, Your Honor, my client... Not your
counsel.

I'm asking Mr. Najjar.

Well, Your Honor, I didn't go to Mexico
per se.

Well, what exactly happened?

per se. I was kidnapped.

I think my client is speaking
figuratively, Your Honor. As I laid out

brief, he did not knowingly leave the
United States, but was locked in the

of a truck and taken across the border
without his consent.

I'm a victim of abduction, Your Honor.
Mr. Najjar, even if you were, in fact,

abducted, you took the law into your own
hands when you attempted to illegally

cross the border back into the United
States.

Now, I have gone ahead and consolidated
your original pre -existing asylum

petition, along with the government's
action arising from your attempted re

-entry once in Mexico, and I've reached
a decision.

When you, as a refugee seeking asylum in
this country, left its borders, you

effectively forfeited your asylum
petition.

Accordingly, petitioner's application is
denied.

Officer! Excuse me?

You and your stupid fucking questions
all the goddamn time.

Excuse me? Does it make you a Kuwaiti
citizen?

Just because I'm born there doesn't make
you Kuwaiti, okay?

It's about where your parents are from,
the origin of where you're from. Order!

And you, you would just sit down, change
the fucking process.

Why don't you go fuck yourself?

You go fuck yourself. Everyone can just
go fuck themselves.

Except my mom. I love you. And fuck you.

A judgment for deportation is hereby
ordered, with petitioner eligible for

release on his own recognizance.

I'll have to pack my things and go.

That's right, hit the road, Jack.

Don't you come back no more, no more, no
more, no more. Hit the road, Jack.

And don't you come back no more.

What'd you say? Hit the road, Jack. And
don't you come back no more, no more, no

more, no more. Hit the road, Jack. And
don't you come back no more.

Now, baby, listen, baby, don't you treat
me this way, or I'll be... Back on my

feet someday.

Don't care if you do, cause it's
understood.

You ain't got no money, you just been no
good.

Well, I guess if you say so, I'll have
to pack my things and go.

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