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1
00:00:02,654 --> 00:00:05,701
Back in the '80s, there was no more awesome rite of passage than spring break.
2
00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:07,877
Thanks to MTV's infamous
week-long coverage,
3
00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:09,879
every kid in America
wanted to be there.
4
00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:12,229
Beastie Boys!
MTV!
5
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:13,796
Spring Break!
ALL: '80...
6
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:18,540
I cannot believe
I'm spending spring break
in sucky Jenkintown
7
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:20,977
instead of on
a Fort Lauderdale beach
the way God intended.
8
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,240
I heard that the beer
flows like water down there.
9
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:26,461
Like, literally, you turn
the faucet on and boom!
Beer!
10
00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:29,681
That's 'cause all their water
is reserved for
wet T-shirt contests.
11
00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,074
ERICA: The city
of Fort Lauderdale
12
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:33,685
actually elected
Spuds MacKenzie
as their mayor!
13
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:36,819
America's favorite party dog
is their mayor?
14
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,429
How could we not
be in Florida right now?
15
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,910
Wait a minute... Florida.
That's it!
16
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:44,392
Look!
Pops sent us a postcard
17
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,742
from his condo complex
in Fort Lauderdale!
18
00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,657
That's ground zero
for all the horniness!
19
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,528
Damn it, why didn't I
actually read his card
20
00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:52,530
instead of automatically
throwing it in the garbage?
21
00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:56,056
Look, Pops says his place
has a beach house
and a pool with a bar!
22
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,884
We had MTV Spring Break
under our nose
and didn't even know it.
23
00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:00,669
We got to get there.
True, but how?
24
00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:02,758
Question...
Can you cry hysterically?
25
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:05,587
Oh, for sure.
It's well established
I'm an emotional time bomb.
26
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:06,805
Follow me.
27
00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:09,504
I just miss Pops so much
28
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:12,289
that I can't stop
the sad water dripping
from my eye holes.
29
00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:14,161
And now I'm crying
'cause you're crying.
30
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,250
I miss him, too, Bar.
31
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:17,947
Wait, this gives me
a fresh idea.
32
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,557
What if
we went to visit him?
33
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:22,691
Please, Mom? Let me see
my grandpapa in Georgia?
34
00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:23,822
Florida, honey.
35
00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:25,476
Ugh, so swampy.
36
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:27,565
Oh, well, this is
about Pops and not us.
37
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:29,872
Well, then, it's decided.
Look out, world!
38
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:31,961
The Goldbergs
are going to Florida!
39
00:01:32,048 --> 00:01:33,528
Oh, yes!
40
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:36,531
Erica and Barry's spring break dreams were happening!
41
00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:37,706
MURRAY: Stop!
Oh, no, wait, here's Murray.
42
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:39,316
Nobody speak.
43
00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:42,276
There's no way I'm paying
for all you morons
44
00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:45,017
to go gallivanting
around the sub-tropics.
45
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,107
You weren't even in the room.
How do you know what's
going on?
46
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:48,673
I heard money
being spent!
47
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,501
Well, there is one way
this trip
48
00:01:50,588 --> 00:01:52,416
could cost you a fraction
of the price.
49
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:53,548
Well, that's what
I want to do.
50
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,898
That thing.
Whatever her cheap idea is.
51
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:59,162
And so Erica and Barry scored the ultimate spring break...
52
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:00,250
One without parents.
53
00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:03,427
Spring break
is awesome!
54
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,951
I saw a girl wearing a bikini
on the plane!
55
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,953
It was unsanitary,
but she went for it.Damn.
56
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,217
We're not in Jenkintown
anymore, Goldbergs.
57
00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:11,653
Welcome to spring break.
58
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:15,309
Whoa! A female body inspector?
Where do you train?
59
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:16,745
Wherever
female bodies are.
60
00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,703
See you fools on the beach.
61
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,445
Really hoping this year
I get to make out with a
Beastie Boy. Fingers crossed!
62
00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:23,447
This is gonna be so rad!
The raddest!
63
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:26,058
Lucky for you,
the party has arrived!
64
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,712
BOTH: Spring break!
65
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:30,367
ALL: Spring break!
Spring break! Spring break!
66
00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:37,331
It was spring break
1980-something,
67
00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:39,507
which typically meant
one thing in Jenkintown...
68
00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:41,552
Damn cold front moving in.
69
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,337
I meant to pull out
the ol' compression socks,
70
00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:44,642
keep that foot blood
moving.
71
00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:46,035
Know what else
is good for the cold?
72
00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:49,734
Mink, sable, fox...
Fur in general.
73
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:52,172
Yep, back before
we cared about tiny animals,
74
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:55,349
the fur coat was coveted
by every yenta in America.
75
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,612
What is this?
What are you
jamming in my face?
76
00:02:57,699 --> 00:03:00,745
Just a luxurious coat
that shows off how much
my husband loves me.
77
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:02,225
How many coats do ya need?
78
00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:03,879
I got you that brown one
with the hood.
79
00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:05,707
That was
eight years ago!
80
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,579
And so, my mom's quest
for the coat began.
81
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,451
It started with
the subliminal messages.
82
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:14,629
Beverly deserves a fur coat to
show her how I feel and stuff.
83
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:20,156
Soon, the hints got
less subtle and just
became ugly demands.
84
00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:23,115
For the love of God,
just buy me a stinkin'
fur coat already!
85
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,292
Since when
do you want a fur coat?
86
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:29,426
I've been dropping hints
and serving extra meaty dishes
for six months!
87
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:30,688
Well, you could've
just asked.
88
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:32,864
I would've said no
a long time ago.
89
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:35,911
You do know that
Essie and Ginzy and Linda
all have them, right?
90
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:37,826
I don't know
who those people are.
91
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:39,088
They're my best friends.
You've had dinner with them
many times.
92
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:40,611
But it's fine!
93
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,613
I don't need a warm
luxury jacket.
94
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,615
I'll just go out in the cold
and freeze to death.
95
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:50,969
What's that?
96
00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,841
It's a fur coat!
97
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,712
I know.
I bought it for you.
98
00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:56,845
Oh, why did you
buy it for me?
99
00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:58,934
'Cause I wanted to show you
how I feel and stuff.
100
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:01,110
It's a fur coat!
101
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:03,982
It's a fur...coat!
102
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:06,594
It's a fur...coat!
103
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:09,031
A fur coat!
A fur coat!
104
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,946
In case it wasn't clear,
it was a fur coat.
105
00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:13,427
It's a fur coat!
106
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:16,647
Ooh, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you!
107
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:19,084
She loved the coat and
she made sure everyone
knew it.
108
00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,303
Beverly, we're starting.
109
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,609
Sure you don't want to
lose the top layer?
110
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:23,567
I'm fine.
Thank you.
111
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,395
My husband bought me
a fur coat.
112
00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:27,179
He does very well
for himself.
113
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,531
It's safe to say the coat paid off just as much for my dad.
114
00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:33,447
There you go. Rib pot pie
with no peas or carrots.
115
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,710
It's just crust
and meat!
116
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,059
Thank you!
117
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,148
Don't thank me.
Thank Minky.
118
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:41,585
"You're welcome.
I was a great gift!"
119
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,283
And one that could
help me, too.
120
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,502
It is a great gift!
121
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:47,504
Even though
it's a sad dead animal
122
00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:48,984
whose spirit still
haunts that dead pelt.
123
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:50,333
I'd like to borrow it.
124
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,509
Boofaloo, I love you
just as much as this coat,
125
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,424
but there's no way I'm ever
taking it off my body.
126
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,078
What if I told you
there's a way
127
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:58,167
Minky can be on
national television
128
00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:00,691
and discussed by consistent
working actor Jack Palance?
129
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:03,128
He's in all those Westerns
and other stuff. Go on!
130
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:05,609
There's a new show called
Ripley's Believe It or Not!
131
00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:07,219
And I have a surefire way
to get on it.
132
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,484
But it all hinges on your
amazing,
deeply upsetting coat.
133
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:14,401
Nothing would fill my friends
with more red-hot jealousy
than my coat being famous.
134
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:15,706
So it's a yes?
135
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:18,361
Not just yet.
I have terms.
136
00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:21,451
Giving you my prized Minky
is done only with the
understanding
137
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:22,931
that I trust you
as an adult.
138
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,498
An adult? Wow.
Big step.
139
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:27,936
Go make my coat a star,
Schmoo.
140
00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:31,243
So, we're saying Bigfoot was
spotted in suburban Philly?
141
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,636
That's the beauty
of the show...
142
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:35,204
It's up to them
to believe it or not.
143
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:36,945
Please,
no one in their right mind
144
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:39,513
would ever buy that
Sasquatch hangs near a Wawa.
145
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,558
Aah!
Bigfoot lives among us!
146
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,473
Balls!
147
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,519
Ah! I've angered it!
148
00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:46,955
Balls!
149
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:49,131
As my mom's pelt was pelted,
150
00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,742
Erica and Barry were ready
to hit spring break.
151
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:54,745
Welcome to the Manners
of Envurrary, kiddos.
152
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:57,400
My red-hot
winter retreat.
153
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,359
This here's
our beach club.
154
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:01,709
Yeah,
where is the beach?
155
00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,928
Thirty minutes.
By car.
156
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:05,147
Which I don't own.
157
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:06,714
'Cause I can't drive.
158
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:09,630
Tell your grandkids
no splashing
159
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:12,372
or running
or yelling or horseplay.
160
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,243
That's Itzel
playing cribbage.
161
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,419
I'm handling it, Itzel!
162
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,073
Try to steer clear
of Itzel.
163
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:22,904
Sorry, the cigar smog
makes me queasy.
164
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:24,296
Can we go to the pool?
165
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,776
It was now clear they weren't
166
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,952
in the spring break
seen on MTV.
167
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:29,998
This was the grandparent
part of Florida,
168
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,782
filled with
the oldest of farts.
169
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,001
Here's a knish.
170
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,959
It's all they had
at the snack bar.
171
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:37,919
A knish?
A fried dough pocket
filled with potatoes and oil.
172
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:40,574
I know what a knish is.
It's the last thing
I want to eat in the sun.
173
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,619
We have no choice!
174
00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,099
Let's just sit
and lay low...
175
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,492
We can't sit.
176
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,842
This little footrest
is all I could find for us.
177
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:51,019
The old fart altacockers
get up at the crack of dawn
to reserve chairs.
178
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:53,630
I'm not waking up at the crack
of dawn for a pool chair.
179
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:54,805
We have to, Barry.
180
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,155
From now on,
we come here at 5:00 a.m.
181
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:59,680
and sit on a chaise in the
darkness until the day starts.
182
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:02,160
Screw that!
I'll just float
all day in the pool.
183
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:04,511
No. Rafts and kickboards
are against the rules.
184
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,295
Same goes for running,
chicken fighting,
185
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,036
diving,
and cannon-balling.
186
00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:10,342
But that's my signature entry
into the water!
187
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,171
Hey, kiddo, we need to
talk about the rules
if you want to go swimming.
188
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:15,870
You got to wear
the required bathing cap.
189
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:18,350
No, I'm not gonna wear
a required bathing cap.
190
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,657
You got to wear
the required bathing cap.
191
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,616
Look at all that hair,
Albert!
192
00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:24,966
I'm handling it,
Itzel!
193
00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:26,750
That's all gonna end up
in the filter
194
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,883
if she doesn't wear
the required bathing cap!
195
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:31,712
You got to wear
the required bathing cap.
196
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,278
Let me help!
Ow, ow, ow!
197
00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,759
Okay! It's on fine!
Oh, you look great.
198
00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:38,545
Like a beautiful,
non-slip shower mat.
199
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,590
Yep,
the once-promising trip
to Florida
200
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,766
was looking like
a colossal bust.
201
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:45,377
And back home,
my friends were helping me
to avoid getting busted.
202
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,467
This isn't working.
Oh, man!
203
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,207
We got to fix this or
my parents are gonna kill us!
204
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:50,382
Oh, God.
I'll go get Erica.
205
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,384
She's in Florida
on spring break.
206
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,344
Wait, my girlfriend
went to MTV Spring Break
and didn't even tell me?
207
00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:56,998
Sounds like
trouble in paradise.
208
00:07:57,085 --> 00:07:58,608
Dave Kim
smells a door opening.
209
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,305
What?
I'm not gonna
hide my feelings, bro.
210
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:01,698
I'm actively
rooting against you.
211
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:03,091
What's that smell?
212
00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:04,222
Fire.
Fire?
213
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:05,310
Fire!
214
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,398
There's fire on the coat!
215
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,444
I see the fire,
Dave Kim!
216
00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:10,881
With ninja-like reflexes,
I dealt with the blaze.
217
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:12,970
And in the process,
I killed Minky.
218
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:15,364
I just destroyed the one thing
my mother loves more than me.
219
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,366
What do I do?
I'd blame Lucky.
220
00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:19,934
Just say that she ripped it
to shreds and then burned it.
221
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:22,414
Just blame Geoff.
He's not gonna be around much
after the break-up.
222
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,329
Here's
an even crazier idea.
223
00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:25,853
I don't lie
or blame anyone.
224
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,332
But what other option
is there?
225
00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:30,031
I tell the truth.
226
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,902
I don't understand
a word you're saying.
227
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:34,644
My mom gave me
the coat 'cause she finally
thinks I'm an adult.
228
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:38,213
So I'll do the adult thing
and just apologize
for this awful accident.
229
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,215
Honesty.
Huh.
230
00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:42,957
Interesting.
It's so crazy
it just might work.
231
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:44,611
You have any idea how much
it cost to get a fur coat?
232
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,961
You have broken
the unbreakable bond
between a mother and child!
233
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:49,137
578 hours of me working myself
to the bone just so my wife...
234
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,835
I have failed as a mother
for raising such a careless,
inconsiderate little boy...
235
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:54,272
They don't seem to appreciate
the honesty idea.
236
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:57,667
They will soon.
I just got to take my lumps
and then we'll all move on.
237
00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,321
They still mad?
238
00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:01,845
Very.
No more TV. No more movies.
No more Walkmans.
239
00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:03,064
Gone! Gone!
Tell him things, Bevy!
240
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,935
Or G.I. Jims.
She's telling you!
241
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:07,895
But I'm sure they'll
start to value my honesty
any minute now.
242
00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,984
You never even liked Minky!
You like making
movies, right?
243
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:12,160
Well, I'll show you a movie!
All you ever saw was some
poor, dead animal
244
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:13,814
sewn together for my...
Your dad driving
to the bank...
245
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,685
Oh, sweet God,
this has to stop!
246
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,383
Excuse me?
247
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:21,169
I am the only child in history
who did the adult thing
248
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:23,911
and took full responsibility
for my mistakes!
249
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:26,174
I get you're mad,
but enough already!
250
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:28,698
Hey! We'll say when
we're done, big shot!
251
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:30,700
Don't you walk away
from your father!
252
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:32,615
You take one more step,
and it's over!
253
00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:34,225
Murray!
He took one more step!
254
00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:37,011
Hey, mister, stop walking
or it's curtains for you!
255
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:38,969
He's still walking,
Bevy!
256
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:41,493
Wrestle him to the ground.
Use your hips and groin
to pin him down!
257
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,539
No, I'm not gonna do that.
Stop!
258
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:44,975
He didn't listen
when I yelled.
259
00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:46,542
That's my only move
as a parent.
260
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,675
It's as if
we lost all our power.
261
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:52,722
We've lost all our power.
262
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,898
As my parents lost control,
263
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:56,987
Barry and Erica
were trying to steer
spring break back on track.
264
00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:59,599
Was that a hearty soup
or what?
265
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,470
And a bottomless bowl!
266
00:10:01,557 --> 00:10:03,951
Got to love
that early bird dinner.
267
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:06,562
Oh, yeah. That soup
was so rich and beany.
268
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,999
Yeah.
Also, this place sucks!
269
00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,479
The fact that
you don't get it means
270
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,437
that this place is turning you
into one of them, man.
271
00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:15,658
Stop. I'm the same Party Pops
you've always known!
272
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:17,660
If that's true,
then take my hand.
273
00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:19,444
Come with us, Party Pops.
274
00:10:19,531 --> 00:10:22,404
Join us on the brown, sandy
beaches of Fort Lauderdale.
275
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:24,232
It'll be strange to
bring our grandfather
276
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:27,148
to an inflatable dance club,
but we'll do it together.
277
00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:28,889
As a family.
278
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,455
Why aren't you
taking my hand?
279
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,501
I'm sorry,
but no one's going to
280
00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:35,373
some farkakte beach party
at this hour!
281
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:36,679
Then where
are you going?
282
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:39,856
To bed,
and so should you.
283
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:42,467
It's 5:50.
The sun is right there.
284
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:44,774
This is just wrong!
285
00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:48,256
Carla and Johnny Atkins
are partying poolside
with the Beastie Boys,
286
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:50,388
and we're stuck in
this geriatric nightmare.
287
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,695
If Pops won't let us
go to MTV Spring Break,
288
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:55,263
then we'll just have to
bring MTV Spring Breakto us.
289
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,049
♪ No sleep till
290
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,704
♪♪
291
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:02,879
Time to
get our hair wet.
292
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:05,012
Hells yeah.
Let's break some rules.
293
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:08,450
♪♪
294
00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:15,500
♪ Foot on the pedal
Never, ever false metal
295
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,024
Marco! Marco!
Polo!
296
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,422
♪♪
297
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:25,685
♪ No sleep till
298
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,904
♪♪
299
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,647
♪ No
♪ No
300
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:32,822
♪ Sleep ♪
♪ Sleep ♪
301
00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:35,782
We got a crime
in progress, Officer.
302
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:38,698
I want to go to sleep,
but some hooligans
broke into the pool
303
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,090
and are throwing a party.
304
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:41,918
How big of a party
are we talking about, sir?
305
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:44,051
If I had to guess,
200 kids.
306
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:45,574
On our way.
307
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:48,751
These damn punks are gonna
get what's coming to them.
308
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:55,236
Check it! I just spent
the last four hours
309
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:58,805
creating brand-new
punishments to remind
Adam we're in charge.
310
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:01,068
"No video games,
no smiley pancakes,
311
00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:03,723
"no pillow forts,
no acting in
school musicals..."
312
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,377
Strike that one.
I can't deprive the world
of his brilliance.
313
00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:09,293
You realize he's just gonna
say no again and walk out?
314
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,774
But why?
Barry and Erica
never did that.
315
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,907
'Cause they were always guilty
as hell, and they knew it.
316
00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,735
You're right.
317
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,824
Adam's my perfect
little snuggle monkey
who told the truth,
318
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:18,999
and we just yelled
for days.
319
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:21,175
Come on.
All kids are the worst.
320
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:23,177
I guarantee Adam is
guilty of something.
321
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:26,093
So we just need to figure out
what he's hiding from us.
322
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,269
And then we bust him
323
00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:31,707
and we make him feel guilty
and bad about himself!
324
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:33,535
And then
he listens to us again.
325
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:35,929
I'm really excited
about this plan.
326
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,148
It's a great plan,
and we're great parents.
327
00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:39,454
We are great parents.
328
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:43,153
♪♪
329
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,329
There's nothing
under his mattress,
330
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:47,810
not even an M-80
or a switchblade.
331
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,725
Whoa, whoa, wait.
Lock box.
332
00:12:49,812 --> 00:12:51,509
Let's see
what Adam's up to.
333
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,734
That's not good.
It doesn't matter.
334
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,518
All that matters
is what's in this box.
335
00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:04,435
There's a note.
I can't look. Read it.
336
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:06,742
MURRAY:
Oh, that damn honest moron.
337
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,353
It's actually, uh,
Father's Day gift ideas.
338
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,965
Now what?
Well, we do
exactly what Adam would.
339
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:13,923
Be adults
and come clean.
340
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:18,623
We were robbed!
341
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,451
What?
Enough with the questions!
342
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:22,889
Can't you see
your mom's a mess?
343
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:25,674
As I was caught
in my parents' web of lies,
344
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:28,459
a spring break rager
was cooking at Pop's place.
345
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:31,462
Another round of knishes
coming up because that's
what I do.
346
00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:34,814
Look at me! My body's
on four different chaises,
347
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,990
and I didn't even have to
use a towel to reserve 'em!
348
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:39,122
Freeze! Everyone down!
Down!
349
00:13:39,209 --> 00:13:41,081
Don't shoot!
I'm all potential!
350
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:44,127
We got a call about
an out-of-control party!
Where is everyone?
351
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:47,304
It's just me
and no one else.
I swear.
352
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:54,877
We see you reaching for
the little microwave handle.
Come out now.
353
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,794
She's not coming.
Send in the dogs.
354
00:13:58,881 --> 00:13:59,969
No dogs! I'm here.
I'm coming out.
355
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,057
What's in your hand?
Drop it!
356
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,059
A knish!
It's just a knish!
357
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:04,931
Sweet Mother of Mercy,
I hate Florida!
358
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,454
Yep, it's true.
359
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:08,499
My siblings were America's
first knish bandits.
360
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,024
Meanwhile, I was facing
an actual crime scene.
361
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,330
Balls!
Oh, God, oh, balls!
362
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:14,941
I can't believe
we were robbed!
363
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:18,901
We really were.
Those robbers came in
and robbed us real bad.
364
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:20,598
So they found
all your jewelry?
365
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:23,950
Uh, no, no. They, uh,
mostly just focused on
this room, but, uh...
366
00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:27,823
They broke all your toys
and your tiny Donkey Kong
machine.
367
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:31,087
But why?
Adam, these are bad people.
368
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,655
Yes.
Bad people.
369
00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:36,440
There's no point in trying to
figure out why they did this.
370
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:37,833
They left my piggy bank.
371
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:38,921
It's just loose change.
372
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,923
And Pops'
coin collection?
373
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:42,533
I think they were just
trying to send a message.
374
00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:44,231
And the message is,
375
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,928
"Don't ask any more questions
about this crime."
376
00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:48,235
We got to
call the police.
377
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:50,063
No. If you call the police,
they said they'd come back
and kill you.
378
00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,412
What?
What?
379
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:53,109
You talked to them?
They left a note!
380
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:54,719
Where is it?
That's evidence.
381
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:56,765
It was written in blood
on the wall!
382
00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:59,376
I don't want to live here
anymore!
383
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:01,596
You don't need
to be scared.
384
00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:07,167
You are a sweet boy
who wants to buy batteries for
his father for Father's Day.
385
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:09,909
Wait. How do you know
I was gonna buy batteries
for Father's Day?
386
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:16,263
The robbers said so.
It was in their blood message
scrawled above your bed.
387
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:17,699
So troubling.
388
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:19,614
It was your
mother's idea.My idea?
389
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:22,008
It was you.
390
00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:25,576
You guys ransacked my room
and broke my tiny
Donkey Kongmachine
391
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,491
and then lied about it!
392
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:30,451
When I messed up,
I told the truth like
an adult.
393
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,148
You'd think my parents
could do the same thing.
394
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:34,498
Exactly...
We're the parents.
395
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:37,110
That means when we say
you're grounded,
you don't walk out the door.
396
00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:39,764
If anyone is grounded here,
it's you guys.
397
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:43,029
Now go to your room
and think about what
you've done.
398
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:46,423
You think you can
just go around
punishing us like...
399
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:51,124
I'm going to my room.
400
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:53,822
But not to think about
what I've done!
401
00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:56,129
Go!
402
00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:00,960
I can't believe this.
403
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,962
We were supposed
to be having the craziest
week of our lives.
404
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:05,094
I know!
405
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:07,227
I was finally gonna live out
my number-one dream
of riding a sea turtle.
406
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:08,924
You two are so lame.
407
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,970
How can anyone not love
spring break?
408
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,189
Please don't tell me
that you got to party
with the Beastie Boys?
409
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:15,844
No. But I did barf
on Larry "Bud" Melman!
410
00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:17,933
Whoa.
Whoa.
411
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,239
I stole a jet ski
and then I got chased
by the Coast Guard
412
00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:21,415
and then I crashed
the jet ski into a pier.
413
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:23,156
I'm lucky to be alive.
It was so funny.
414
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:24,809
That is funny.
So cool.
415
00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:26,072
So what'd the po-po
snag you guys for?
416
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:30,772
You know, just, uh, typical
spring break craziness.
417
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,688
We, um
stole a knish.
418
00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:34,689
What'd you say?
Can't hear you, bro.
419
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,082
Stole a kni...
420
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:36,996
What?
Enunciate!
421
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,998
We stole a knish,
okay?
422
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,652
Like,
from a wet T
423
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:44,394
Nope. Just a regular ol' knish
at a retirement home.
424
00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:45,874
You stole from old people,
dude?
425
00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:47,267
That's not cool.
My step-dad's old.
426
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,312
Goldberg and Goldberg,
you're free to go.
427
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:50,618
Pops, thank God!
We're saved!
428
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:52,402
You kiddos okay?
429
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:56,189
No! Some grumpy-ass altacocker
called the 5-0 on us.
430
00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:59,844
Whoever ratted us out
is the lamest old fart
of all the farts.
431
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:02,456
Or he's not
a lame fart at all.
We don't know.
432
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:03,761
I bet you
it was that putz Itzel.
433
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:05,241
It was for sure Itzel!
434
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,200
It was me, okay?
435
00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:08,723
Why are you
protecting Itzel?
436
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:11,204
I'm not!
It was a mistake.
437
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:14,033
What? You called the police
on your own grandchildren?
438
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,035
The Pops we know
would hop the fence,
439
00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:17,906
crank the music,
and steal all the knishes.
440
00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:19,821
Yeah, dude.
What happened to that Pops?
441
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:23,042
I... I guess
Pops moved to Florida
and you know what?
442
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:25,435
He likes it.
443
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,046
Sorry to be
such a disappointment.
444
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:31,398
♪♪
445
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,881
BEVERLY: Hey.
446
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,753
Can we talk,
Schmoopy
447
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,320
No,
and don't call me that.
448
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:42,365
Look, everyone
makes mistakes.
449
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:46,021
You ruined a fur coat,
we terrified you with
a deadly home invasion.
450
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:49,285
We're just not used to a kid
who's not a total lying moron.
451
00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:52,071
Point is, we taught you to be
a kind, honest human being,
452
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,724
and you lived up to that.
453
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,900
I'm sorry
we couldn't do the same.
454
00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:57,989
Well, you guys tried to ground
me and I refused to listen.
455
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,556
I'm sorry.
456
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:02,603
No more apologies.
It just makes me feel worse.
457
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:05,693
Here, Mama fixed
your Donkey Kinggame.
458
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:06,824
Let's just move on.
459
00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:08,391
Whoa!
460
00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:09,697
What the hell is that?
461
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,655
M-Money. Just normal,
everyday money.
462
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:12,917
Where did you
get all of this?
463
00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:16,225
See...
Lucky ate your wallet.
464
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:17,748
No, no, no!
465
00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:20,403
It was Ed McMahon!
He stopped by to tell me
466
00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:23,711
I'd won the Publisher's
Clearing House Sweepstakes
and gave me a big check,
467
00:18:23,798 --> 00:18:25,278
but I asked for it all
in singles.
468
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:26,931
No, no!
Forget all that.
469
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:28,194
I'm a stockbroker.
470
00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:30,152
No, wait!
A CPA.
471
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:31,893
No, wait!
A male exotic dancer.
472
00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:34,113
Oh, God.
473
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,244
I borrowed it from Dad,
okay?
474
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:36,506
I didn't lend you
that money!
475
00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:38,334
I may have grabbed a dollar
here and there
476
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:40,597
for the past two years
to save up for a DeLorean.
You get it.
477
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:42,251
You know what?
You're grounded.
478
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,992
You're grounded
until you go to college!
479
00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:45,689
You stole money
from your own father?Go up on to your room.
480
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:47,213
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
481
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,564
I am very disappointed in
your lies and deceit, mister!
482
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:54,133
Oh, thank God!
He's been robbing us blind!
483
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,569
Our little baby
is a thief!
484
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:58,093
He's as bad
as the other morons!
Maybe even worse!
485
00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,703
Now we have
all our power back
486
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,402
and I can go back to
being a great mama again!
487
00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,621
Whoo-hoo!
I can yell at him again!
488
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,493
And I'm gonna
yell at him but good.
489
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:07,624
I know.
490
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:14,588
Hey! We woke up at 5:00
and booked
a shuffleboard court.
491
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,155
Who's ready
to get hustled?
492
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:17,939
And I'm wearing a swim cap
so I don't shed
493
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:20,333
when we go for
a non-splashy dip after.
494
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:21,551
Kiddo,
you don't have to pretend
495
00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:23,901
to like this place
on my account.
496
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:26,948
Look, we're sorry
for what we said.
You're not an altacocker.
497
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:29,168
Maybe I have
slowed down a bit,
498
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,865
but I don't want
to hold you back.
499
00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:34,390
Go to the beach,
have your MTV Spring Break.
500
00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:36,262
It's not a spring break
without you.
501
00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:41,528
Come on.
Take my hand.
502
00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,834
No,
I'll just get in the way.
503
00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:46,576
Okay, so you eat dinner
super early
504
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:49,623
and you called the SWAT team
on our two-person knish party,
505
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:53,322
but the Pops we know
will always be the life
of the party.
506
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:56,325
♪♪
507
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,197
I always like
a good party.
508
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,155
♪ No sleep till
509
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:01,678
Let's ride.
510
00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:03,593
Whoa!
511
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,682
Pops, since when
do you drive a Jag?
512
00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:08,032
I don't. I just stole
the keys from Itzel
513
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:09,686
when he was yelling
at some kids.
514
00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:11,514
Now,
that's the Pops I know.
515
00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:14,300
And so, while they were
off breaking rules,
516
00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:16,737
I was shocked to learn
my world had been
put back together.
517
00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:19,000
What the...?
518
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:21,089
We used the money you took
from your dad's pants
to fix your room.
519
00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:24,527
But why?
I stole all that money
from you guys.
520
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:27,922
Look, there are
no real adults here.
Let's just call it even.
521
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:30,316
Are you sure you don't
want to use the money
towards another fur coat?
522
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,796
No coat warms me
as much as you.
523
00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,885
♪♪
524
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:38,933
Also, a very angry young lady
threw red paint on
Linda Schwartz's coat
525
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,587
when they were
out to dinner, so...
526
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,241
Totally get it.
527
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,286
Truth is,
even when you slow down,
528
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,245
you can still be
the life of the party.
529
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,724
And even though
Erica and Barry
530
00:20:47,811 --> 00:20:49,422
didn't actually meet
the Spuds MacKenzie,
531
00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:53,382
thanks to Pops, they still got theMTV Spring Break of a lifetime.
532
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:54,557
♪ No!
♪ No!
533
00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:56,037
♪ Sleep!
♪ Sleep!
534
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,300
♪ Till Brooklyn!
♪ Till Brooklyn!
535
00:20:58,387 --> 00:20:59,475
♪ No!
♪ No!
536
00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:01,129
♪ Sleep!
♪ Sleep!
537
00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:02,348
♪ Till Brooklyn! ♪
♪ Brooklyn! ♪
538
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,178
REAL BARRY:
So, the knish incident...
539
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,006
We had nothing to do
in the evening,
540
00:21:09,093 --> 00:21:11,357
so we went to the pool,
the clubhouse there.
541
00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:13,359
We were playing music.
542
00:21:13,446 --> 00:21:15,143
I was hungry,
so I put a potato knish
in the microwave,
543
00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:16,666
and while the microwave
was going,
544
00:21:16,753 --> 00:21:17,885
I heard, "Freeze! Police!"
Freeze!
545
00:21:17,972 --> 00:21:19,887
So I ducked underneath
the kitchen counter.
546
00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:22,672
Five seconds later,
the microwave dings,
547
00:21:22,759 --> 00:21:24,805
and I hear the policeman
outside say, "Send in the
dogs,"
548
00:21:24,892 --> 00:21:27,938
so I slowly raised my hand up
and told them I'm right here.
549
00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:29,592
You were almost in jail
because of a knish.
550
00:21:29,679 --> 00:21:31,159
Because of
a potato knish, yes.
40761
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