All language subtitles for The Righteous Gemstones s01e01_English-en

[bright tone]

[piano ballad playing]

- [singing in Mandarin]

- I baptize you
in Jesus's name.

- I baptize you
in the name of...

- I baptize you
in the name of Jesus Christ.

- Welcome, friend.

I baptize you
in the name of Jesus Christ.

- God bless. God bless.
- I baptize you...

- Next.

- In Jesus's name.

- [coughs]

- See? There you go.

Everybody in your line keeps
getting water up their nose.

You're dipping them back
too far.

- How about you do it your way,
and I'll do it mine?

- How about you do it right?
How about that, huh?

- Okay.
- Watch this. Get over here.

I baptize you
in the name of Jesus Christ.

Smooth movements.
Do you get that?

You see how that works?
- Oh, really?

- Yeah.
- Oh, really?

"Smooth movements"?
- Nobody's coughing.

No water's coming out
of nobody's nose.

Did you just splash me?

- No. I don't know who splash--
- You splashing me?

- I don't know
who splashed you.

- Do it again. See what I do.
- It wasn't--

- Y'all stop that.

Stop that guffing
and keep these lines moving.

- Tell him.
He's the one splashing people.

- I'm not splashing nobody.

- Long Wei,
we got a bogey over here.

Please tell him no photographs
during the ceremony.

- [shouting in Mandarin]
- I'll leave right now...

- Get him outta here, Long Wei.
- You can take my picture.

- If they're not gonna
follow orders.

[motor rumbles]
What the hell was that?

- I think somebody turned
on the waves.

- Damn it.
Tell them to turn it off.

- Long Wei! How do you say
"Shut it down"?

- Guan.

- Wan!
- Wan!

- Wan!
- Wan!

[air horn blares]
- Oh, jeez.

- Wan!
- Wan!

- No!

[all shouting,
club music pounding]

- [shouts]

- [yelps]

- No!

[angelic choir vocalizing]

[upbeat rock music]

- Here they come.

- Hallelujah

Hallelujah

- I'd wake up
in the morning

And I'd wanna cry

'Cause all
my needed answers

Were just passing by...

- Thank you, young lady.

- My feelings getting
stronger each and every day

Lord,
now that I've got you

All I wanna say
- Hallelujah

- Ni hao, Daddy.
[laughs]

That means "hello" in Chinese.

I studied so much

even though I wasn't allowed
to go with y'all.

- That's wonderful, baby doll.

- Welcome back.
How was China?

- Hell of a long ride.

- 5,000 people baptized.
Sounds like a success to me.

- Yeah. [chuckles]

- How was China for you boys?

I wouldn't know,

'cause I was stuck here,
being a secretary.

- Oh, here we go.

- I'm a Gemstone, too, Jesse.
I wanna do things too.

Why does Daddy
always overlook me, huh?

- Come on; don't get
your panties in a bunch, sis.

Flying around
on private planes,

being leaders--
that's men's business.

- [scoffs] I could do it.

I'm more of a man
than Kelvin is.

- Well, I ain't gonna argue
with you there.

- Don't turn this around on me.

I got to go to China.
She didn't.

I'm definitely
more of a man than her.

- Kelvin, eat my ass.
- Yeah, right.

That'd be incest,
and that is disgusting.

Bye.

[engine turns over]

[tense electric guitar music]

[country rock music]

[choir vocalizing]

- Daddy was a preacher

The people,
they love him so

Spreadin' the word
to all that heard

Until the night
when he get home

But Daddy was a gambler

[gunshots]

That's why we loved him so

choir: He moves mountains
into the sea

Glory to the King

Walked on water

Healing me

Glory to the King

- It's all right
- It's all right

- It's all right

- Glory to the King

[together]
Welcome home, Dr. Gemstone.

- Daddy loved his children

Daddy loved his kin

Heaven knows
forgotten souls

From the life of sin

- My great apostle returns.

How did it go, baby?
- How you think it went?

Daddy put me in charge,

and I Ace of Based that mission

straight to the Lord.

- I knew you would.

My king.

choir: Gone far too long

Been gone

I'm coming back home

Coming back home

I've been gone

Far too long

I'm coming back home

[device squeaks, games blip]

- Welcome home, friend.

- Oh!

Keefe, you scared
the bullcrud out of me.

- I'm sorry, man.

I'd like to keep
your ballcrud in you.

- Yeah, no.
I know.

- How was
the Land of the Rising Sun?

- [chuckles]

Well, Land of the Rising Sun
is Japan.

That would've been awesome.

We were in China,
and it sucked big-time.

Jesse was just, like,

riding me the whole time,

fully up my butt.

Like, telling me what to do.
- Oh.

- Not letting me do me.

'Cause when I do me...
- Yeah.

- Good things happen.
- Yeah.

- I've got great methods.

- I know.
Your methods rule.

- I appreciate that.
Pound that out, my man.

Give me compliments.

Keefe, that's what's up.
- Yeah.

- So what's good, man?

- No issues here.

I slept in your room one night

but then felt odd,

so I slept the rest of the time
here on the couch

with no top sheet.

- Hey, man,

you do not need to feel odd
sleeping in my bed.

I told you you could.

You're doing me a favor.

- I was aware
I had your permission.

I don't know.

The energy in there
is just unsettling.

It's lonely.

But, uh, the maids changed
the bedding anyways.

And I put all your mail over
there on the kitchen counter.

There's a lot of it.

- Good looking out, Keefe.

- Hey.
- Home-run friendship.

- I'm just very appreciative.

I know not everybody
wanted me here.

- No, okay?

That is bullarkey,
my friend.

Your past as a Satan worshipper
was washed away

when you accepted
Jesus Christ, Our Savior,

into your life.

Everyone knows that.

You are a success story
to this family.

- Nice.
- Gosh darn right, it's nice.

- I'm gonna head back
to my place.

I'm pretty bushed.

Gonna go soak in the tub.

- What?
No, man.

Come on.

Let's stay up late,
play some video games,

smash some Pixy Stix.

- That sounds good.

But I really need a soak.

I haven't been to my place
in a while, and... [inhales]

I like to turn it up real hot.

- Right on.
That's what's up.

Okay.
- Okay.

- Yeah.

All right, well,
it's been a while.

- All right.
- Bro, hug it out. There we go.

- So happy you're home.

Yeah.
- All right.

- All right.
Night night.

- [stammers wordlessly]

Night night also to you.

- Night night.

[door clicks open]

[gentle instrumental music]

[water bubbling gently]

- [kisses]

[kisses]

- Faggot.

- Excuse me?

- Kissing me in my bed.

- I'm tucking you in.
- You woke me up.

- Don't use bad words.

I got friends
that are homosexuals.

- I bet you do.
- Keep being fresh.

See if some of your stuff
don't go on time-out.

- I don't care.

- Oh, you will care, buddy,

when you can't use
any of your devices.

Starting tomorrow,

you're doubling up
on Bible studies.

- I don't even believe in God.
- Yeah, you do.

[chuckles]
- Well, when I turn 18,

I'ma move to LA,

and I'm never gonna talk
to any of you ever again.

Just like Gideon.

- Don't you ever say his name
in my house again.

Don't act surprised.
You know the rules.

That's not how
I wanted to spend

my first moments home
from the mission.

It really wasn't.

[chandeliers tinkling]

- Thank you, Krista.

[footsteps retreating]

[pensive music]

Could've used you on
this mission, my love.

[kisses]

- What time does she get here?

- All of Pontius's devices
are on time-out.

I'm talking Xboxes, tablets,

iPhones, the everything.

He ain't gonna
be playing with nothing.

- For how long?

- I don't know.
A week?

Two weeks? Three weeks?

- I support you.

- I just don't understand

why he behaves the way
he does with me.

I'm nothing but nice to him.

I been trying all this time.

[mumbling unintelligibly]
...to shut up.

[imitates babble]
Running his damn mouth.

- I totally understand.
- Mm-hmm.

- It's hard. I know.

[cell phone chimes]

But you know he just misses
you-know-who.

- [softly] Eh.

[loudly] Yeah, I bet he does.

Well, guess what?

That ain't my problem.

That's on him.
- I hear you.

[cell phone chimes]

He's just feeling big feelings.

It's okay.

[keyboard clacking]

[text message swooshes]

- [chuckles]

If he doesn't get
his behavior right,

we're gonna send him
to a damn camp.

I'll send him to South America.

You fuckin' watch.
- Okay.

[text message swooshes]

[swoosh]

[intriguing music]

- Oh! I think I'm in love.

- Oh!
- Ooh.

- Oh! [laughs]
- It's a treat.

- Oh, dear God.

[snorting]
- [giggles]

- Ooh! Lord.

[dark music]

Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord.
- Yes.

- [laughing]

Oh, there we go, huh?

Oh, thank you. [laughs]

Fuck.

Fuck.

Oh, shit.

- You okay, baby?
[video stops]

- Yeah. I'm okay.

- Okay.

- Very good.

[text message swooshes]
Oh, God.

[exhales, pants]

[quietly] Shit. Shit.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Son of a bitch!

- Baby?

[TV droning]

Baby.

- Baby Jesus loves us.

- Where are you going?

- Uh, I realized that I forgot
something at church.

I'ma run back real quick.

I'll be right back, all right?

- Okay.
- I'm good.

- You're good. Love you.

- Love you too.

[thunder rumbles]

- I know I shouldn't feel
self-conscious about my nose,

but I am.

I just wanna look as handsome
as I can for our special day.

- Aw.

- Live up
to the Gemstone standards.

- [scoffs]
We don't have standards.

I mean, we do.

We have a lot of 'em.

And they're real high.

But you were fine already.

Oh, God.
Somebody's coming.

[engine rumbling]
- Shit. Should I hide?

I know your daddy's rules about
cohabitation before marriage.

I'm hiding.

[rumbling grows louder]

- You can come out.
It's just Jesse.

- Where's he going?

- [chuckles]
Hopefully off a fucking cliff

with his whole family
in the car.

- Yeah,
I hope he dies too, baby.

- BJ!
- What?

I was just going along
with what you said.

- No, I can say it.
You can't say it.

[dramatic music]

- [panting] Oh, Jesus. Fuck.

Oh, God, I'm so stupid.

[engine turns over]

[suspenseful music]

[dramatic music]

Okay. What the fuck is this?

- Hey, Mr. Party Boy.

- I don't know
what kind of game

you fellas are playing,
but I don't like it.

- Oh, we're not playing a game,
Mr. Party Boy.

- Stop calling me "party boy."
I'm not a party boy.

- Well,
from the looks of that video,

you are the king
of party boys.

You and your friends,

a few prostitutas.

I am sure the congregation,
the media,

your family would love
to see you enjoying yourself.

[thunder rumbles]

- Who are you?

- I'm the devil, son.

- You think messing with a man
of the Lord is easy pickings?

You don't think
I'll fight back?

- One million dollars.

Sunday, 10:00 p.m.

[slams car door] Here!

Or the video gets leaked.

- You're making
a big mistake, pal.

I refuse to be blackmailed!

- [chuckles]

- Well, you kinda are.

I mean, that's pretty much
exactly what this is,

party boy.

[thunder rumbles]

- Fuck!

- I don't know
how I'm gonna do it

I only know I'm gonna try

[jazzy choir music]

Gonna build a daydream

- Uh-huh
- From a little hope

- Uh-huh

- Gonna push that daydream
- Uh-huh

- Up the mountain slope

- Uh-huh

- Gonna build a daydream

- Oh, yeah

- Gonna see it through
- Oh, yeah

- Gonna build a mountain
and a daydream

Gonna make
'em both come true

- Gonna build it
- That's right

- Gonna build it

- Gonna build me a heaven

- Gonna build a heaven

- I'll take my daydream
up the mountain

And heaven will
be waiting there

narrator: Together,
Eli and Aimee-Leigh

built a Christian empire

including
their flagship campus,

Gemstone Salvation Center,
covering over 300...

- Brother pastors?

- Acres of coastal Carolina.

[tools whirring,
indistinct chatter]

- How many do you pack in here
on Sundays?

- Honestly, I can't even count.

I mean, I can, but you get it.

[clears throat]

- Ah, brother pastors...

soon-to-be neighbors
in Locust Grove,

thanks for paying us a visit.

- Nice to meet you, Reverend.

John Wesley Seasons.

Thank you for taking the time

for seeing a few
Podunk preachers like us.

- Oh, come on,
big flock, little flock,

we all work for the same boss.

- And we all punch
the same clock.

- Every day. Amen.
- Amen.

- Daddy, uh, I'm sorry.

Uh, just before we get too deep
into this conversation--

I didn't know if--
if you needed both of us.

- What?

- I just have
a lot of important issues

to take care of
for the Lord today.

And I didn't know if maybe
I could get to doing that now

and maybe you two guys
just take this meeting

with the Podunk ministers.

- Jesse,

these men traveled here
to visit us.

We're gonna give them
the face time they deserve.

- Brother pastors, we all have
churches in Locust Grove.

I lead a congregation of 1,800.

Gabe here has got 1,000
at New Pentecost.

Stephen from Highway Assemblies
is holding strong at 1,200,

and Jeremiah's working hard.

His new ministry's up
to 700 in just two years.

- Good for you,
Brother Jeremiah.

- We're small-town,
humble folks,

so that operation
you're building there--

that prayer center--

we're concerned
that it'd be a disruption.

- "Disruption"?

- Well, to be honest with you,

we're scared you're gonna run
us out of our own hometown.

[both chuckle]

- I see.

And I understand
where you're coming from.

I'm a small-town boy myself.

Don't let
the big-city clothes fool you.

- See, brothers?
I told you he'd understand.

- [chuckles]

- Oh, and, uh, you know,

Sheffield's only
about an hour away.

Maybe that's
a good alternative?

It's only got one church.

[organ music playing softly]

- Hmm.

One church...

Seems like a town filled
with nonbelievers.

But Locust Grove has
four churches--your churches.

And you're right.

They are modest-sized
ministries.

If we were to come in,
scoop up one of your churches,

maybe that ain't
worth our time.

But if we were to scoop up
all four churches,

now you're talking.

Between the four of you,

you got decent numbers.

- I don't follow.

Are you saying
you're intentionally

coming for our flock?

- Did we have anything else
to discuss today,

brother pastors?

[music ends]

- So we're good?

- Ah.
- Great.

I gotta boogie.
Thanks for coming out.

Wonderful to meet you.

- Okay.
Follow me.

I'll show you the way out.

- [cheerfully] Martin!

Hey, can I have a word
with you for a moment?

- I'm busy now.
Can we talk later?

- Oh, come on.
You ain't unloading ice cream.

This is gift shop merch.

This shit ain't gonna melt.

Come on.
Give me a moment.

- Pause the work.

- Go on.
[claps hands]

Okay? I love y'all,
but just disperse.

Come on, guys.

Hustle.
Hustle it.

There you go.
God bless.

God bless.
Go on.

[quietly]
Get the fuck outta here.

[chuckles]

Martin,

a, uh, wonderful opportunity
has arisen, uh,

that I think could be highly
beneficial for the church--

something I'd like
to spearhead.

- Oh. Mission work?

- Yeah, yeah.
Kind of.

Yeah, pretty much so.

Uh, I'd really like a chance

to get the ball rolling,
like, ASAP,

so I was hoping to get some,
uh, funds transferred to me.

J--just go and get them op--
- How much do you require?

- [chuckles]
Look at you.

I know what you're thinking.

[both laugh]
No, it ain't for gamblin'.

No, it's actually
for a pretty good deal.

- Mm-hmm.

- But I wanna keep it
a surprise,

so don't tell Daddy,
don't tell nobody--

- How much, Jesse?

- Not a lot.

Like, a million bucks.

Uh, if I could get it now,
or at the latest, on Sunday...

- [laughing]
- Then we could really maximize

the opportunities that the--

- You are a very silly man,
Jesse.

I can't give you
a million dollars

without your daddy knowing.

- Course you can.
- Mm.

- Daddy trusts you
and your judgments.

- I can't do it, Jesse.

- Yeah, you can.
- Jesse.

- Martin, please.

Listen to what God wants.

Are you listening?

- I listen to your daddy.

[laughing]

- Damn it all to hell, Martin.

- [laughs]
Please, no cursing.

- Martin, that is not
what the Lord told me.

- [laughs]
A million dollars.

- Yeah, the Lord said,

"Go to Martin
and get a million dollars.

- [laughs harder]

[mournful organ music]

- Hi, Mommy.

Meow, Mommy.

[softly] All right.
- Meow, meow, Mommy.

- Oh, no.

[sighs]

Get Lucien
or one of the others

to fetch that out of there.

I come here every day.

I can feel
your mama's presence here.

It puts me at ease.

[clears throat]

And I've been thinking
about this China trip.

[sighs] Jesse?

You had the reins on this one.

Thoughts?

- Uh, I thought that, uh,

Mother's dream
was finally realized.

Her vision to minister
to the people of the Far East,

uh, you know, accomplished.

5,000 people baptized in a--
in a beautiful ceremony.

- It was a shitshow.

Now, I'm not gonna say that
in front of the church,

but it--
that was an embarrassment.

- [chuckles]

- Don't laugh, Judy.

- I--I wasn't laughing
at that, Daddy.

I was just--

I was recalling some funny vids
I just saw

of animals acting like fools.

That's why I was laughing.
So...

- I've heard you've had
some company at your home.

- Who?

- Your little boyfriend and you

have been shacking up.

- Daddy, he's my fiancé,
all right?

He's not just my boyfriend.

And BJ will be
a Gemstone soon enough.

- He ain't even a believer.

- Wha--yes, he is, Jesse.
- No, he's not.

Amber showed me some posts
he made on Facebook.

Guess what, Daddy?
They're proabortion.

So there's that.

- No, Daddy, they weren't.
- Yeah, they were.

- BJ does not like
killing babies.

He likes little babies.
- No.

I saw those posts, too, Daddy.

- No, you didn't, Kelvin.
- Yeah, I did.

Very proabortion.
- No, it was not, Daddy.

And you know what?
They won't give him a chance.

That's what's happening.
- Why would we?

He's a dud.
He's a snooze.

- Yeah, you bring home

a boring-ass white boy
to the family.

Good job. [laughs]
- No, no.

He's a interesting-ass
white boy.

- This family is lost.

Your mama...
kept everybody getting along--

kept everybody on track.

[sighs] She was the magic.

And now she's gone.

And the magic is gone too.

- It's gonna be okay, Daddy.

- Yeah, Daddy,
we--we still got lots of magic.

- [sniffs]
- Plenty of magic, Daddy.

- [sighs]

- I gotta tell y'all something,
Daddy.

[exhaling] Uh...

there's a video of--
with--with some stuff on it.

Uh...
- What stuff on a video?

- It--it's just, like, a...
it's--it's a...

[voice breaking]
There's a video.

- Like what? Like a YouTubes?

- No, Kelvin,
not like a YouTubes,

you dummy.

- Golly, Jesse.
What's it, a motion picture?

- No, not a motion picture!

It's like--
it's just, like, a...

[stammers weakly]

It's whatever.
Just forget it, all right?

- Go on, boy.

What's got you upset?

- Nah, it's...

it's just a video I saw of Mama

just doing
some nice stuff for us,

being cool.

I just miss Mom.
That's all, Daddy.

I miss Mama.

- I miss your mama too.

- What was she doing
in the video?

- [inhales sharply] Shut up.

- Yo. Hey.

Jesse.

You were not crying about Mama.

Mm-mm.
I know your sad cries.

It has way more moaning.

That was a fearful cry.

- Kelvin, I know you see me
as the firstborn,

strongest in the family,

but the truth is,
I got emotions too.

- I don't look at you that way.

- Yeah, you do.
- I don't.

- No, of course you do.

- I do not.

- Look, the stuff
that Dad said back there

really affected me, you know?

Gemstones need
to stick together, man.

And lately, you and I, well,
we've been bickering a lot.

We can do better.

- Yeah, well, I will admit

that you have been prancin'
upon my nerves a lot lately.

- Prancin' upon your nerves?
- Yeah.

- What the hell
does that even mean?

- You're doing the moonwalk
on my nerves, man.

- Oh, give me a break.
- You're dancing upon 'em.

- Give me a break.
I don't know how I'm doing that

when you're the one
getting on my damn nerves.

- Oh, I'm getting
on your nerves?

- Yeah, all the damn time.

- You're the one that's always
constantly in my business,

telling me what I should
and should not do.

- I'm trying to guide you, son.

- You know what?
Fine. Okay.

I agree.

We should all make
more of an effort, not just me.

All of us.
For Mama.

- Agreed.

[sighs] You know, I hate
to cash in on this so quickly,

but dark forces are at work,
Kelvin.

Evil forces that wish
to destroy our family.

[mysterious music]

- Evil forces?

- [giggling] I have so much fun
doing things for others.

- You do.
- Yeah, of course I do.

And I enjoy it

because I don't expect
to get nothing in return.

- Mm, well... [laughs]

You get stuff in return.

- No, Victoria.
That's not true.

- Well, you have
a pretty nice house.

- What?
This old thing?

[scoffs]
- You fly on private jets.

- Well, the jets belong
to the church, not us.

But I see you.

The devil just jumped right
in you there for a second,

didn't he?

Made you challenge me.

Hold on.

It's okay.

He's gone now.

I can tell
you're back to normal.

Just don't let
that happen again.

[chuckles]

[door squeaks open]

- Ding-dong.
- Oh!

There's my man.

And he brought his brother

with them big, black boots on.

Take them boots off, Kelvin.

- Everyone else has
their shoes on.

- I'm not having a tile floor
with big, black skid marks.

Get 'em off.

- Just do it.
Take 'em off.

We're gonna work on the, uh,
China outreach presentation

for Sunday.

Those other fellas show up?
- Yes.

I told them to wait for you
in the theater room.

- You're my number one.

- I know I am, baby.

God, I have hitched
my wagon to a... [chuckles]

Force for good.

Ain't I lucky, ladies?

women: Yes.
- Lucky.

- Okay. Yeah.

Just none of y'all come down

to the theater room, all right?

- Secrets?
- No.

No secrets.

Surprises.

Don't come downstairs.

- Okay.

- [grumbling] Looks like
your boots will scuff too.

- You know Chad, Gregory,
Levi, Matthew.

- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.

Hey, guys.
'Sup, Levi?

- Nobody's really interested
in a saying a "'sup."

Why don't you go on
and take a seat

on the couch there, Kelvin.

- Why's everyone wearing
their shoes?

She didn't make you
take your shoes off?

- Stop talking about the shoes.

The shoes don't matter.

I brought you here

because I'm gonna share
something with you

that's highly personal.

You can't tell nobody
about this, okay?

- I understand you.

- It just does this on its own.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh!

- Oh.

- [laughing] Oh!

- Oh!
- Oh, dear God.

- Let me help.

- What is this?

- Sh--shut up, Kelvin.

It's what I'm showing you.

Oh, Lord.
- Yes.

- Oh, Lord.

[laughs]

- Oh! Whose is that?

- Mine.
- Oh, there we go, huh?

Chad's.

- What--what are
you guys even doing?

- What's it look like
we're doing, Kelvin?

We're fucking partying.

The Prayer Power Convention.
Atlanta.

- Oh, Jesse,
what in God's name?

- I know, Kelvin!

Don't be pompous about it,
all right?

Don't take glee in it.

I'm being blackmailed.

Somebody sent me this video.

They said they're gonna leak
the whole damn thing

unless I pay them
a million dollars by Sunday.

- A million bucks.

- My wife is gonna leave me.

- I won't be allowed to adopt.

- Yeah, we're all gonna
be screwed, okay?

That's why this tape
ain't gonna come out.

Gregory, look at me.

We're gonna be okay.

We're gonna get through this,
okay?

We're gonna have
to pay these fellas.

- Okay, well,

good luck
getting a million bucks

without Daddy finding out.

- Well,
that's what you're here for.

You gonna take out 500K.

I'm gonna take out
the other 500K.

That way,
it'll be easier for us to hide.

- Hide?
- Yeah.

You're the baby of the family.

Dad don't care
if you spend money.

- Yes, he does.

Remember when I tried
to get that Fiat

just 'cause I wanted
something small

to toot around in,
get groceries,

and what have you?

He said, "Absolutely not."

- Kelvin,
I am being blackmailed.

This is a very serious
situation, all right?

I mean,
lives are at stake here--

personal reputations.

- Well, maybe you all
should've thought about that

before you were hanging out

with your dongs out
and doing cocaine.

- You are such a puss.

- I'm not a puss.

- Yeah, you are.

- If anything,
I'm the opposite of that.

- No.
- [scoffs] Bigger than Chad's.

- Everybody in this family
might play patty-cake

with you, buddy,
but I ain't going to.

You're a shitty minister,

and you're
an even shittier brother.

[choir vocalizing softly]
- You take that back.

- No, I will not.

- You really think
I'm a shitty minister?

- I think
you're the fucking worst.

- [chuckles]

Well,

good luck when Daddy finds out.

- You ain't gonna help?
- Nope.

- All right, well,
if you ain't gonna help,

that's on you.

But you better not tell.

Don't tell, motherfucker!

- [sobbing]

- Please stop crying, Chad.

It's making me feel odd
in here.

- [sniffles]

[sobs]

- Brother
- Brother

- Brother
- Brother

- Prepare
one more happy way

For my Lord

The smell of flowers

And music in,
and music in

- Hi.
I'm Jesse Gemstone.

- I'm Kelvin Gemstone.

- And I'm Eli Gemstone.

Stop the hate,

and celebrate
what the Lord has given us.

[cell phone buzzing]

Come worship with my family
and celebrate our Lord.

You gonna answer that
or just let it piss me off?

[cell phone continues buzzing]

- Excuse me.

[bell dings]

- Hey, Leon, could we slow
the teleprompter down?

- I'm gonna give you one last
chance to give this up.

Do you hear me?

- Do you know
how this works, man?

You must be confused.

I hope you have our million
all bundled and ready to go.

I'm already putting shit
on layaway.

Tonight. 10:00 p.m.

- Why are you doing this?
Why, damn it?

- Maybe you deserve it.
[laughs]

[line cuts out]

- Shit!

Shit! Fuck!

God damn it!

[stomping]

God! Shit! Fuck!

[huffs]

Shit!

[footsteps approaching]

Hi.
I'm Jesse Gemstone.

- I'm Kelvin Gemstone.

- And I'm Eli Gemstone.

How many of you in here

have ever been to China?

Raise your hands.

[congregation murmuring]

Not many.

I understand.

Their world is very different--

the food,
the clothes they like,

the smells they have.

I...

didn't care
for it much, myself.

But it was a dream of my wife

to witness
to the people of China

because she knew that,
despite our many differences...

- Get out of here.

- The one thing
that is not different

is their love for Jesus.
- Amen.

- It's the same love we have.

[congregation murmuring
in approval]

Boys,

come on out here

and let's share
with our friends, here,

our Chinese Oriental experience
we shared.

- [muttering] I don't care.
- [muttering]

[cheers and applause]

- China!

The land of discovery.

- I can't think of
the last time I had as much fun

as I did spreading the gospel
with my daddy

and dear brother in Chengdu.

What a hoot.

- Or,
as they say in Mandarin...

[speaks Mandarin]

- Now it is our honor

to share that experience
with you

through the power
of a 4K photo montage.

- And we put music to it.

Roll it!

[sweeping traditional
Chinese music playing]

- [laughs delightedly]

Look at them.
- Wow.

- Look at them.

[chuckles]

- [chuckles]

- Bless their heart.

Oh, your mama would've
loved that.

Jesse,

would you like to tell
our friends in here

the experience you had?

- Uh, yes, Daddy.

Uh, the most amazing experience

was just looking into the eyes

of those people.

- The Chinese folks?

- Yes, Kelvin,

of course the Chinese folks.

Who else
would I be talking about?

- [exhales]

How many Chinese souls
did we save?

- Five, Daddy.
5,000, Daddy.

- 5,000 souls.
- 5,000.

[cheers and applause]

- 5,000.

If you've ever wondered
why tithing is important,

right there up on that screen
is why.

[rock band playing]

[together] And we're walking
together

Feel the glory of

Feel the glory of the Lord

Singing songs of salvation

It's the story of

It's the story of our Lord

From the desert
to the mountains

Feel His light shine on you

When we all come together

That's the glory of

That's the glory
of His love

Oh, oh, oh

[mellow soul music]

- Dream

A dream

Our love

Ooh, yeah

Where I am

What I am

What I believe in

- Ooh
- Yeah, yeah

Holly holy, oh

- Doo
- Y'all, help me say

- Sing

[music livening]

Sing it

Sing it, yeah

Yeah

Bring them each, oh Lord

Lord above

Lord above

Holly holy

Oh

- I'm gonna take
- Gonna take

- Gonna take a
- Take a little

- Eli.

I heard you come here
every Sunday after church.

- For years.

What do you need from me today,
brother pastor?

- You closed on that property
in Locust Grove.

I'm surprised
we couldn't have, uh,

worked something out.

- Look, if you wanna speak
with the Gemstones,

you need to, uh,
schedule an appointment

through my sister.

- Or on our website.

- I'm talking to
your daddy, boys.

- Johnny Seasons thinks
he's a big shot.

Look at him.

Well, go on, big shot.
You got everybody's attention.

What do you got to say to me?

Make it good.
I got church lunch waiting.

- [snickers]

- You got no business
in Locust Grove.

No reason.

No reason but greed.

People there are served.

It ain't right,

and you ain't building
that temple for the Lord.

You're building it
for yourselves.

- You're afraid
we're gonna come to town

and take your congregation.

Did you ever think,

if your followers come with us,

maybe they weren't
your followers to begin with?

- You should be ashamed
of yourself.

- Well...

I ain't.

[tense music]

Praise be to He.

Good day, brother pastor.

- The Gemstones are a disgrace,

an absolute disgrace
to all ministries.

Con men. Baboons.

[under breath] Hypocrite.

- It wouldn't be Sunday
if I didn't have a belly full

of meat and rolls.
[laughs]

Ain't that right, Eli?
- That's right, Brother Martin.

- I can put down some meat
and rolls, you've seen me.

- Oh, yeah.
We both can.

- I never eat meat anymore.

- [chuckling]

- [muffled]
Why you look different?

- What? Excuse me?

- Your face.
Why does it look different?

- It does.
- No.

- Yeah, like your nose is,
like, shiny or something.

- Jesse, don't make him feel
self-conscious

about his face, okay?

- I think I know
what's going on.

[laughs]

I think you got yourself
a nose job.

Did you get some
plastic surgery, buddy?

- I exfoliated last night,
so it's probably still

open pores.
- That's not exfoliation.

- Mm-hmm.
- No.

- He exfoliated.
I watched him do it.

- Did you get a face-lift?

[laughter]

- [mock laugh]
Okay. Yeah, real funny.

How about I make some jokes
about Amber?

- Try it.
Go for it.

She's a smoke show.
Nothing to make fun of.

- She could make fun
of your kids.

Y'all ain't bulletproof.

- [laughs]

- Make fun of our kids?
- Yep.

- You mean your nephews?
- Yep.

Behind your backs and also
in front of you right now.

- Whatever.

At least we have kids.
- That's right.

- Yeah.
- Pbbt.

- Not as many
as you used to have.

Gideon ran away.

- You gonna rot in hell
for making light of that.

- No, I won't.
- Kelvin, apologize right now.

That's not nice.
- You're right. Sorry, Dad.

I'm sorry.
[mouthing words]

- Daddy, what about
what they were saying

about BJ's face?

They need to be sorry
for that.

- Oh, I love how
you've gotta fight

your boyfriend's battles
for him.

- [scoffs]
- You know what?

I know I'm new here,

but I'm just gonna say it.

Y'all treat Judy
like a child.

That's why Judy and I are
moving off the compound.

- Oh, okay.
I don't know if we need to--

- Judy.

What's he talking about?

- We just want to do
what's right for our family.

For our future.

We've been looking
at a penthouse in the city.

- [mockingly]
A penthouse in the city?

- I don't sound like that.

- BJ, buddy, you better learn
your place.

- News flash:
this family is so regressive.

Always keeping women
in the shadows,

not contributing
or being a part of anything.

- You know what I think,
BJ--sorry, baby, can I talk?

- Go on, baby.

- I think you better mind
your manners at church lunch.

Everyone here is trying
to have a good time,

and you are stepping
way out of line.

- [gasps]
- Sorry I spoke.

- Should be.
- No.

Uh-uh. Do not be sorry.

- I'm not--then I'm not sorry.

- Yeah.
- You gonna let this wisp

of a man talk you
into betraying your family?

- Wisp?

- Jesse sitting over there
talking about

"betraying families,"
that's hilarious.

- All right, Kelvin, I've had
about enough, all right?

Say one more effing word,

I swear to God,
say one more thing.

- Sit down, the both of you.

- No, how about,

you stand here
and tell your family

what kind of man
you really are.

Huh, Jesse?
- How about you just go on

and suck your Satanic boyfriend
Keefe off.

How about that?
- Oh!

- Piece of shit!
- Whoa!

- God!

- Baby, no--

- [groans] My nose!

My nose!
- Jesse, you asshole!

- I did not mean to do that.
- [groaning] My nose!

- Enough.
- Jesse!

- That's not what
I meant to do.

- [shouts]

- Enough!

Hey!
- [grunting]

- It's assault, Daddy!
Someone should press a charge!

- I hope the devil
fucks you dry!

[all gasping]

- Get over here.
- Why--why come?

- Don't ask why come,

just get over here right now,
Kelvin Gemstone.

[light music playing
on speakers]

- [yelps]

- Now go sit down,
the both of you.

- [inhales sharply]

- You all ought to be glad
your mama still ain't around.

The way you treat each other
would break her heart.

Maybe Johnny Seasons was right.

Maybe this family has become
an abomination.

- Daddy, slap me too.

I'm a Gemstone too
so slap my face.

[urinating]

[unzips]

- Daddy's good
and pissed off now

so way to escalate
the conflict.

- Well, don't start shit
next time.

- With everything
I got going on,

you can't be the bigger man?

- Looks like I am
the bigger man.

- You wish.

- Don't wish. I know.
I just saw.

- Not that you care,
but I finally figured out

who the blackmailer is.

Seems pretty obvious.

Not really sure
how I missed it.

- Who?

- Johnny Seasons.
- [guffaws]

Are you kidding me?

- No, I'm not kidding.
Makes perfect sense.

We're trying to move in
on his territory

so he's trying to take us out.

- Well, why would he ask
for money?

Why wouldn't he just blackmail
you to not open up the church?

Hm?

- Well, I don't know, maybe
'cause that's too obvious.

- You didn't even think
of that.

- No. No.
That's not what he's doing.

It's him, all right?
I know it is.

If he thinks
he can fuck with me,

fucking talk to daddy
the way that he did,

then he's got
another thing coming.

- You are legit crazy.
You are losing your mah-rbles.

- Maybe I'm crazy for defending
my damn family.

You know if this tape
comes out,

you know what's gonna happen?

Amber's gonna leave me.
- Rightfully so.

- I can guarantee you

that Daddy's gonna boot me
out of this church.

I'm gonna lose everything,
Kelvin.

That ain't happening.

Check this out.

[tense music]

- What is that?
- It's a Kubotan.

Self-defense keychain stick.

Use this to overpower
a human being.

Jam it in at pressure point,

pop and lock,
break a finger.

- Where'd you get that?

- At a truck stop.

- Are you gonna use that
on him?

- Probably. Maybe.
I'm just spitballin' right now.

Don't box me in.
I got you one too.

- I don't want one.
- Yeah, well I got you one.

- Oh, why'd you give me
the pink one?

- For no particular reason.

He don't know we know.

That gives us
a slight advantage, okay?

The drop off is tonight
at 10:00 p.m.

He ain't expecting
to see me till then.

We're gonna ambush him
at his house.

Get him while his guard
is down,

overpower him, and get him
to give us that damn tape.

- Jesse, you're talking about
breaking the law.

And with a weapon?
That's like a...

higher charge.
I don't want it.

- Not with these,
they're not a higher charge.

I mean, if it's a gun, yeah.

You bring a gun,
you're going down.

Kubotans?
Kubotans are legal.

- This is assault
we're talking about,

and assault is illegal.

- Come on, man.

Remember when we were kids and
we wanted to be Double Dragons?

- Yeah.

- We got our black belts
together.

Used to wear the same kind
of clothes,

cut our hair
the same way.

We said we were gonna
grow up and fight crime.

We used to have
each other's back.

We were friends.
What happened to us?

- [stammers wordlessly]
I guess we grew up

and realized being
karate brothers

from a video game
is a childish dream to have.

- Kelvin?

You really don't care
if this cocaine sex party tape

destroys the Gemstones
once and for all?

- Maybe it's time
for the Gemstones to be done.

[soft music]

- [breathes deeply]

[chuckles]

[pages crinkle, turn]

[cymbal reverberates]

[light video game music]

- The thing with this game?

Early versions included
a boss bad guy

known as Dark Diablo,

a classic devil king
sort of villain.

When Dark Diablo would
enter the level,

he would make
a series of roars.

To most, it sounded
like garbled noise sounds,

but to the keen ear,
he was clearly saying,

"I'm the Devil. You're mine.

Be a part of my kingdom."

Yeah, it's messed up.

Tons of kids were exposed
to that game.

Parents' groups and churches
were, like, furious.

So they took Dark Diablo out.

Now it's just like
a shark bad guy,

with like a shark top
and muscle man bottom.

He's got, like, muscly,
regular legs,

you know, not shark fins.

And he doesn't say
anything Satanic.

He just tries to bite you.

It's a much better version.

[pensive music]

- Yeah.

[8-bit rock music]

Sounds better.

- I gotta get it reset now.

- Yeah, you probably should.

It looks gross.

[basket slides]

I'm sorry, baby.

You should make Jesse
pay for that.

- Yeah, I'd love to.
How?

- You know what,
there's no way

that he would
ever do that.

So you should just
use your own money.

[doorbell rings]

Who the fuck is that?

- What?
That's the doorbell.

Baby, that's the doorbell.
- What are you doing? Hide.

- Yeah--okay. Fine. Okay.
Where should I hide?

[doorbell ringing]
- Oh, God--hide, BJ!

- Okay, fine.
- Shh!

- Judy!

Judy!
- Kelvin!

What the living fuck, man?

You can't just roll up
in my foyer.

- I can and I just did.

We need to talk.

- I don't have time right now.
I'm busy putting on creams.

- Is anybody here?

- No. Nobody's here.

- Oh, really?
'Cause there's BJ right there.

- That's not BJ.
That's my artworks.

- Oh, you got a sculpture

of BJ on all fours,
looking scared?

- Yeah, I bought that.
It's a sculpture.

And I got a good price on it
'cause the dick is weird.

- Huh.
- Why you being so damn nosy?

- It's about Jesse.

I think he's about to do
something very stupid.

- Oh, well, duh.

One plus one is two.
[scoffs]

- No, this is stupider
than normal, though.

Big time stupid.

- Okay, what?

[gentle acoustic music
playing on speaker]

[woman singing indistinctly]

- Thank you.
- You're welcome, sweetie.

[insects chirping]

- "Behold, I have given you
authority

"to tread on serpents
and scorpions

"and over all the power
of the enemy,

and nothing shall hurt you."

Luke 10:19.

[suspenseful music]

[inhales] Let's go.

[whispers] Oh, shit.

[sanding noises]

Shh. Guys.
Fucking get over here.

[sanding continues]

- [exhales slowly]

- He's in there.
Let's knock this guy's ass out.

[indistinct whispering]

- Hello?

Who's there?

[whispering continues]

[tense percussive
music building]

- [whispering] Okay.
You're gonna do it.

Go.

Fucking go, Chad.
Get the fuck in there.

[shotgun blasts, cocks]

Go! Get in the car!
- Go! Go, go, go!

[indistinct shouting]

- You wanna mess with me?

- [groans]
Don't leave me!

- You wanna see
what I'm packing?

[dog barking]

[tires squealing distantly]

- He's a fucking idiot.

Of course it's not
Johnny Seasons.

- Yeah, well, if it ain't him,
Jesse still has to pay up.

- Sorry.
[phone chiming]

- Shit, it's Jesse.
- Answer it.

- I know.

- Hey, Jesse.
- Oh, fuck, man. Fuck!

Johnny Seasons shot Chad.
- What?

Is Chad dead?
- Who's Chad?

- Chad, you still with us,
buddy?

- [retches]
- Oh, God!

- He says he's fine.

- He's obviously not fine,
Matthew.

- Did he kill somebody?
- Shh--no.

- Whose voice is that?
Is that Judy?

- No, it's not Judy.
- I need to talk to him.

- No, stop--
- C'mon! Stop!

- Who the fuck did you tell?
Did you tell Judy?

[siren whoops]

Did you tell Judy?
You son of a bitch!

Oh, shit.
- Hi.

You have really fucked
yourself this time,

haven't you?

- What he tell you?
- Oh, he told me a lot.

Look at you, Mr. Firstborn.
Oh, thought you'd be king.

[laughs] Oh, brother,
it is almost so sad.

- I think we need to get him
to the hospital, Jesse!

- Then fucking go, dude!

What the hell is everyone
looking at me

like I gotta do everything?

Get the fuck out of here!

Shit, Judy! Shit!

[engine turns over]

I'm supposed to make the drop
at 10:00.

This is the downfall
of the Gemstones.

Everything that Mama and Daddy
built is done.

- Okay.
Then pay 'em Jesse.

- I don't have the money,
Judy.

Daddy limits my spending!

- I may have some.

- Have some what?

[tense music]

- Okay, line it up.

[grunts]
Okay, good.

[panting]

Heads up.
It's a lot, dude.

- Holy shit.
What the fuck?

- You know how Mama
used to say to me,

"Judy, you're worth it.
You're special, Judy.

"You know stuff.

You know how
to figure things out."

[panting] Well, I fucking do.

- I guess Mama was great
at giving good advice.

[mutters] God damn it.
Son of a--

- God bless you, air vent.

- Get in.

- I love you guys.

[unsettling music]

All right.
Y'all stay in the car.

- Don't you think
we should come with you?

- Shh. No.
I'll handle them alone.

Stay here.

- Good luck.

- Who's in the car?

- Nobodies.

My brother and sister.

- Tell them to get
the fuck out.

- [mutters] Fuck.

[sighs] God damn it.

[seat squeaks]

[car door opens]

He's--he's actually saying
he wants you guys to come out.

- Duh. I told you.

[dramatic music]

- Man.

- Hi.

- Assholes.

- Walk slowly to the rear
of the van,

and place the bags
on the ground.

- I don't really feel
comfortable doing that.

I don't know who y'all
got back there

so I'm just gonna put the bags
right down here.

- No, bring them
to where I told you.

[bags thud]

[tense music]

[music swells, darkens]

- Why is he dressed
as the devil?

- Kelvin, shut up.
- Shut up, Kelvin.

- What is this?

- Thumb drive.
- Thumb drive?

- The video is kept on that.

- Oh, the video's on here?

I was imagining we were gonna
get like a VHS

or a cassette tape
or something.

How do we know there
isn't another copy?

- Well, you don't.

Maybe we just bleed
the Gemstones dry.

And use you like our own
goddamn ATM machine, huh?

[grunting sexually, laughs]

[laughing]

- Jesse.

- [gasping]
- Go, get in the car!

Who do you work for?

Who do you serve?

[gunshots]
Shit, shit, shit, shit.

God damn! Fuck!

Ah! Shit!

Ah!

Go, go, go!

[intense choir music]

Go, go, go!

[jaw snaps]

- [screaming]

- Go! [screams]

[tires squealing]

[music ends]

- Oh, my God!
- [screaming]

- Holy shit!
- Oh, my God!

- Oh, fuck!
- Oh, shit!

I hit him, I hit him.
- Oh, fuck.

- I think I hit him.

- Over under now.
Over under.

- Oh.
- God damn it.

Oh, God.
- Oh, my God.

both: Oh, my God.
[grunt]

- [crying]
- Oh, my God.

[horn honks]

[both panting]

- Are you going back
to help him?

- No.

[both wailing]

- Oh! Oh!

[both yelling]

[upbeat hymn music]

all: Praise the Lord

His righteousness at hand

Lord, Lord, Lord

Take us to
that promised land

Holy war

The battle has begun

So praise the Lord

His righteous love
has come

- Ladies and gentlemen,

it is my honor to present

Eli and Aimee-Leigh Gemstone.

[cheers and applause]

- I love you.

Oh, I love you.
Hallelujah! Eli.

- I feel the love
in this room.

- Oh, take a look
at this crowd, Eli.

I do believe it is the
best-looking bunch of friends

we've spent time with yet!

Yes!
[cheers and applause]

- Mm, I don't want
to offend anybody,

but she married me so you know
her taste is in question.

- Oh, stop it right now.
- Ow!

- Stop it right now.
Now, friends,

who here is ready
to make real change

in their lives today?

[crowd cheering]
Amen!

- Who's ready to surf
that God-given feeling?

[applause]

Praise His name.

Praise His name.
- Hallelujah!

Raise your hands for the Lord.
Yes! Yes!

Who is ready
to make change,

receive the Holy Spirit,
and change their lives

in such a way they will lead
it for the Lord forever?

- We have a winner.

[cheers and applause]

- Okay, Eli?

Let's get started.

- That's how He works
choir: Ooh

- That's how

The good Lord

He works

[jaunty gospel music]

choir: That's how
the good Lord works

That's how the good Lord
works

That's how
the good Lord works

That's how He works

We must not question
the good Lord

Have faith in God
and trust His word

- We don't know how,
we don't know when

choir: To see His day

Whom we shall serve

We must not question
the good Lord

Have faith in God
and trust His word

- We don't know how,
we don't know when

choir: To see His day

Whom he shall

Serve

Stand on the word

The word of God

Stand

Stand on the word

The word of God

[song fades]

[bright tone]

BILLY FREEMAN: You are about
to enter a world full of riches,

glamour...

A world full of... Gemstones.

JESSE GEMSTONE: You wanna
step up to the Gemstones?

Good luck, bitch! (LAUGHS)

I would've handled it
differently,

-but--- That was good.
-Of course you would.

I am being blackmailed.
Figure out who these idiots are.

And apparently,
there's three of 'em.

You seen this van around?

KEEFE CHAMBERS:
I could lose my job for this.

I'd do anything for you.

You saved me from the darkness.
Brought me to the light.

You know, I'd even kill myself
if you asked me to.

What the hell?

I know, buddy.
You tell me that a lot.

Let me introduce
Baby Billy Freeman.

So, the church
is in a fucking mall.

A place you could buy slacks,
but now you can buy Jesus.

(CHEERING)

But you can't put him
on layaway.

ELI GEMSTONE: Kelvin here
specializes in youth ministry.

Tonight, youth group meeting.
Gonna do some jumps, some flips.

Can I get an "Amen"?

JUDY GEMSTONE: I work my ass off
for this family,

but I'm constantly
the odd one out.

And Daddy is a dick.

Ooh, I'm gone tell Daddy
what you said.

I take it back. I take it back!

You be careful, Johnny Seasons.

Maybe you should be careful.

We got a damn invasion.

JESSE: I'm working big time

to keep the unity and sanctity
of this family.

You can't kill the devil, son.
I'm coming after you.

If you go down for this,

you better keep our names
out yo' mouth.

Would y'all stop tryin'
to step to me?