All language subtitles for Men.in.Black.International.2019.720p.BluRay.x264-GECKOS-HI

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

God, do I hate Paris.

Not to worry.
Probably won't be around much longer.

[♪♪♪]

[ALARM WAILING]

[GUNS POWERING UP]

MAN:
I've been waiting a long time for this.

I guess what... What I'm trying to say is:
Lisa, will you mar...?

H:
Bonjour.

We're with Tower security.

Uh, we're sorry,
but you're not supposed to be here.

- Sorry.
- Sorry.

So? She say yes?

- I haven't asked yet.
- He hasn't asked yet.

Oh, well, that's a terrible shame, isn't it?

Because that blinking light back there

means there's been a breach in Portal 2.

Which means, in a few minutes,

the most vile creatures
in the entire universe,

the Hive, are gonna consume
every last one of us from the inside out.

I don't understand.

All will be explained if you look right...

here.

The Tower was closed for repairs.

[WHISPERING]
Ask her on the way down.

HIGH T:
This way, please.

Thank you.

Mind the gap.

Right. Shall we?

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Let's do this.

[H SHOUTING]

[GRUNTING]

Hey, guys.
MAN: Who the hell are you?

Ask her again down on the ground.

[GRUNTING]

- Whew.
- Ah, there you are.

Yeah. All right.
Let's try this again, shall we?

[GUNS POWERING UP]

So, what's the play here?

HIGH T:
We've been in this situation before.

H:
We've never faced the Hive before.

They've never faced us.

Always remember:

The universe has a way of leading you
to where you're supposed to be

at the moment
you're supposed to be there.

Sometimes the universe gets it wrong.

[♪♪♪]

[CREATURES ROARING
AND SNARLING]

[♪♪♪]

[MOLLY'S PARENTS
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

"Let's have some action.

I want some asses wiggling.

I want some perfection."

[SHOUTS]

[CANS CLANGING]

Get my three-wood.

- Come on, let's go.
- Okay, okay.

Careful.

[CLATTERING]

HAROLD:
Aah! Oh, my God!

[CREATURE CHITTERING]

- Oh, my God. Baby.
- What?

Uh...

That wasn't no animal, okay?

It was a... It was a...

I ain't never seen nothing like that before.
It was like a creature.

[HAROLD SNARLS]

What? Harold, call the police.

- The who?
- The police. Call the police!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

That was fast.

MAN: Good evening, folks.
We're from Animal Control.

You say you saw something?
HAROLD: We haven't called you yet.

MOLLY'S MOM: Are we in any danger?
Does it have rabies?

HAROLD: Whatever that was,
it wasn't a regular animal.

It was like a...
MAN: Yes, the creature you saw was

an unlicensed Tarantian
from Andromeda II.

Very rare, very dangerous.

MOLLY'S MOM: I'm sorry, what?
AGENT: A Tarantian.

I know. He looks cute now.

Tarantian?
AGENT: But when they hit puberty,

they turn into real monsters.

[♪♪♪]

[TARANTIAN SQUEALS
THEN MOLLY GASPS]

[STUFFED ANIMAL SQUEAKING]

[SQUEALING]

Shh. Don't be scared. It's okay.

AGENT:
Is there anyone else in the house?

MOLLY'S MOM:
Just our daughter. She's sleeping.

AGENT: A raccoon.
Yeah, that's your problem, folks.

Just make sure those trash can lids

are on nice and tight,
and, uh, we were never here.

MOLLY'S MOM:
Maybe we should go check on Molly.

We've gotta get you out of here.

[CAR DRIVES AWAY]

Come on.

[MEOWS]

[SQUEALS]

It's okay.

I'm your friend. I'm Molly. Go on.

Molly.

[IN ALIEN LANGUAGE]
Kabla nakshulin.

Kabla nakshulin.

MAN: Well, Molly, you've scored
excellent or above in every area.

Fitness, deductive reasoning, logic,

weapons training.

Just one problem.

You didn't check a box.

For your preferred division.
Everyone has to check a box.

Hmm.

Yeah, I made my own box

for the division that has no box.

You know, the division
where they wear black suits

and deal with the guys from...

[CLICKS TONGUE]

up there.

You mean, Accounting?

No, like...

[GROANING]

Yeah, still...

Accounting. Heh.

MAN 1:
That should fix the glitch.

And remember, we care.
MAN 2: You're good to go.

And just remember, we care.

[SNORING]

Look for the icon marked
"advanced extensions."

WOMAN: Okay.
- Click on it.

Which icon? There's a bunch...

- Thirteenth icon from the left.
- Whose left?

- Your left.
- Oh, sorry.

- I got it now.
- Okay, got it?

Yeah, I got it.

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

Are you still there?

- Hello? Help me. What's going on?
- Oh, no.

Nothing. Let me just run
a little diagnostic on my end,

and I will be back to you.
No, it won't take long.

Not long at all. Okay.

What the f...? Ehh.

This is perplexing.
MAN: Is it...?

Is it...?

[WHISPERING]
A-L-I-E-N-S?

I don't know why you always insist
on whispering and spelling that.

Finally decided to show up, huh?

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

Oh, my God.

All I have to do is figure out trajectory
and I am in.

I'm back. Okay, try this.
WOMAN: Hi.

- Unplug it, plug it back in.
- Okay. All right.

- And remember, we care.
- Hello?

[EXHALES]

I have to go.

[♪♪♪]

- Jimmy's coming back to get the kids.
- Yes.

Okay. Let's see where you are now.

[♪♪♪]

COMPUTER:
Welcome back, Professor Armitage.

[MOLLY GASPS]

Oh, you tricky one.

I don't think you're a meteor, are you?

Nope, I think you are
an unauthorized landing.

This is it.

It's all happening.

See you soon, Jimmy.

[♪♪♪]

Right here, right here.

Right here.

- Hey, hey!
- Hey.

Please keep the meter running.
I'll pay you extra.

What...? Unh...

[CELL PHONE BEEPING]

[BEEPING FASTER]

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]

[♪♪♪]

[MOLLY BREATHING HEAVILY]

AGENT:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, Jimmy.

What are you doing back on Earth?

Hey, this is...? This is Earth?

My bad, guys. Come on.
AGENT: Tell it to O back at HQ.

JIMMY: I just want to see my kids.
- Get this ship out of here!

I'll escort our Zamporian friend back.

[♪♪♪]

- Don't lose them.
- What?

- I'm on it. On it.
- Go, go, go! Go!

Hey, did they bring in
that Zamporian yet?

Came in minutes ahead of you.

The guy tried to sneak in
behind a Perseid meteor shower.

Amateur hour. Am I right?

Right as rain.

Rain don't lie.

Sheesh, talk about amateur hour.
Hey, you gonna call this in or what?

[RADIO CLICKS]

Code Black.

[♪♪♪]

COMPUTER:
Unauthorized visitor.

Lockdown protocol engaged

in three, two, one.

[GASPS]

O: All right, who's she working for?
- She claims to be working alone.

A random civilian simply waltzes in
off the high street.

I don't think so.

Neuralyze her.

No, no, no. Don't.

I know what that thing is. Please.

O:
Hang on. Hang on.

[NEURALYZER POWERS DOWN]

She had an experience.

It erased my parents' memories,
but it didn't take mine.

So my whole life,
everyone's called me crazy.

They said that I needed therapy,

which, okay, admittedly, I did,
but not for this.

Did she really hack
into the Hubble Telescope

to look at Andromeda II
and we didn't catch her?

In the old days, we'd have hired her.

It took me 20 years to find you,
plus or minus.

How many people can say that?

I found you.

So you found us.
You proved you're not crazy.

You win the "I'm Not Crazy" badge.
Now what?

- I want in.
- We don't hire. We recruit.

Then I'd like to be recruited.

I'm going to need more...

but would you mind giving me
one good reason?

Because I'm smart.

I'm motivated.

I look good in black. I'm...

O:
Boring me.

Because I have absolutely
no life whatsoever.

I have nothing.
I have no dog, no cat, definitely no chill.

I have nothing
that I couldn't happily walk away from,

which makes me perfect for this job.

Well, you're certainly suitably tragic.

No love? No relationships?

They just distract you
from what's important.

Oh, really? And what's important?

The truth of the universe.

I wanna know everything.
I wanna know how it all works.

You really think a black suit is going
to solve all your problems?

Mm... No, but it looks damn good on you.

That's true.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

O: From this moment, you will conform
to the identity we give you.

You will dress only
in MIB Special Services attire.

You have been trained in the use
of MIB-sanctioned technology,

vehicles and weaponry.

Mm-mm.

O:
You will not stand out in any way.

You are no longer part of the system.

You do not exist.

Check, please.

O:
We are above the system.

Over it, beyond it. We are them.
We are they. We are the Men in Black.

The "Men" in Black?

Don't. Don't start.

I've had the conversation.
They didn't seem to be able to let it go.

It's a process. Attachment issue, I think.

There's your first assignment.

Okay. When do I get my, uh...? Bzzz.

It's called a neuralyzer.
You don't just get it, you earn it.

You've been accepted
for a probationary period.

Impress me, and we'll see about the:
Bzzz.

- Okay.
- Mm.

You're a fan of the truth,
aren't you, Agent M?

- I like it.
- Mm.

I think we may have
a problem in London.

[BELL TOLLING]

[COUGHING]

Wow, that is smooth.

Let's keep them coming, shall we?
Another round.

Ah. So can I just say how much
I'm liking this place?

It's formal but not too stuffy.

Classic, but still kind of stylish.

Makes it a very
Eyes Wide Shut kind of vibe. Heh.

I'm kidding.

Sort of. Ha-ha.

[RATTLING AND HISSING]

Ooh. Hoo-hoo! Or is it mostly
just the lethal high-stakes gambling?

Thank you very much.

Would you look at that?
Straight to the ace, gentlemen.

That's me again.

Let's talk business, shall we?

I can move this stuff.

Who do I speak with
about getting a lot more of it?

Because I'm in.

You're not.

You see, I have a very strict
"no Men in Black" policy.

[COUGHS]

Oh, God. I don't blame you.

Who'd want
those assholes coming in here?

Men in Black.
The Morons in Black, if you ask me. Heh.

What a bunch of dicks. Am I right?

All it takes is one bad apple
to spoil any environment...

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTING]

Stop it, guys.

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

I am MIB, you Cerulian scum.

And FYI, your little club here sucks.

You're gonna give me everything:

suppliers, sellers, your whole network.

[CREATURE BITES]

[H GROANS]

[CHUCKLES]

Your luck run out. You're already dead.

Only one person here has the antidote.
Emily, sweetheart.

[H GRUNTING]

[COUGHING]

[GRUNTING]

[IN STRAINED VOICE] Please, I'll...
I'll give you whatever you want.

Please.

Anything you want.

Anything I want?

[SNORING]

[♪♪♪]

WOMAN [ON PA]:
The express train to London has arrived.

With continuing service to Paris,
Stockholm,

Milan, Rome, Madrid.

Caught him in the locker room.
I knew that kid was neuralyzing himself.

I told him, "Do that too much
and you'll go blind." Ha-ha-ha.

Right?

Who could go for a nosh?

WORM 1:
I'd like a nice pastrami sandwich.

With lots of melted cheese too.

[DOOR ALARM BEEPING
THEN M SIGHING]

[CREATURE GRUNTS]

[GROANING]

[♪♪♪]

[SHOUTS]

WOMAN [ON PA]: Now arriving:
express train from New York.

Last call for Flight 2112
to the Cat's Eye Nebula.

[ALIENS CHATTERING]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

[CHITTERING]

COMPUTER:
Welcome, Agent M.

Please report to New Agent Orientation.

Access granted, Agent M.

[ALIENS CHITTERING]

WOMAN [ON PA]:
...every hour from Gate 12.

[CHATTERING IN ALIEN LANGUAGE]

ALIEN:
Excuse me, ma'am.

It's never who you think it is.

Oh, no. That one makes sense.

So you're the one who found us.

Yes, I am.

I'm T. High T.

Oh, yeah. You're, uh...

- I run this little circus.
- Yeah. Heh-heh.

- Welcome, M.
- It's nice to meet you, sir.

O told me to expect some great things.

- And great things shall you get.
- Good.

Right through there.

[CHITTERING]

Hi, you.
MAN 1: Wait, wait, wait! Don't touch him!

Oh, God.

Uh... Oh.

MAN 1: I got him, I got him.
MAN 2: You guys...

I got him. I got him.

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

[MIDDLE EASTERN MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[HUMMING]

[MUSIC STOPS]

MAN [IN FRENCH]:

[IN FRENCH]

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

[IN ENGLISH]
"Change it, change it."

[ELECTRICITY BUZZES]

[♪♪♪]

All right, buddy.

All right. Try this.

[GRUNTING]

Oh, careful. You break it, you buy it.

Keep it. Keep it.

On me.

We need to see the queen.

Yes.

[CHATTERING]

[WHISTLES]

You have visitors.

State your business with the queen.

We need someone to die.

As clearly stated in Section 6C
of the Treaty of Andromeda II,

we do not kill Jababians

nor participate in the murder thereof.

This is nonnegotiable.

Well, it's slightly negotiable.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Hear the sound
Coming out of your mouth ♪

♪ Yo, I got a little information ♪♪

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Oi!

Morning.

I'm in the market for a useless, old,
broken-down machine. What do you got?

You're not gonna get a rise out of me, H.
It's the Imperial with the red tab.

Do try to keep up.

Thank you, Charlie.

GUY:
That's the old portal depot.

Site of the First Great Alien Migration.

M:
Wait, so Eiffel was an MIB agent?

GUY:
One of the first.

He helped so many intergalactic refugees
seeking protection here on Earth.

If you look closely,
you can see my grandma

and my grandpa in that picture.

So beautiful.

WOMAN: Here you are, dear.
- Thank you.

[♪♪♪]

[TIME SLOWING]

[IN DISTORTED VOICE]
What's up with that guy?

[TIME REWINDS]

[IN DISTORTED VOICE]
Nerlene!

NERLENE:
Sorry.

He's just so yummy.

- [IN NORMAL VOICE] Who is he?
- [IN NORMAL VOICE] H.

Only the best agent in the building.

He saved the world once
with nothing but his wits

and a Series-7 De-Atomizer.

He saved the world?

From what?

The Hive.

Hey, Guy, do me a favor.

- Handle my calls.
- Oh, love to.

Where are you going?

To do some homework.

HIGH T:
An awful, terrible incident in Marrakesh.

The North Africa office is investigating.

And in other business,

H has decided to grace us
with his presence after all.

Apologies, sir. I was working late.
C: So was I.

Cleaning up after your mess.
Thank you for that.

Oh, you should've seen the mess
I was cleaning up this morning.

C:
It was a totally unsanctioned op, sir,

requiring two containment units
and a full neuralyzer squad.

About that, I prefer to look at this
from a macro point of view,

not get bogged down in the details.
The bad guy's dead, so you know...

Take a seat, please. One last item.

A member of the Jababian royal family

has a layover on his way to Centaurus A.

Vungus the Ugly.

Inherited the title.

Believe it or not, Vungus here is
the looker in the crowd.

Holograms always add 10 pounds.

HIGH T:
Jababian society doesn't allow

for certain indiscretions.

In short, he wants
to be shown a good time.

We could say no,
but Jababian mining vessels

would grind us into galactic dust.

Some irony there, sir,
if you think that we used to, uh...

protect Earth
from the scum of the universe.

Now it seems we're protecting the scum.

Actually, that's why
it would be right up your street.

- Your cup of tea, H.
- Ha-ha.

I know Vungus.
He doesn't really drink tea.

He prefers vodka, tequila, hand sanitizer,
sometimes all at once.

We woke up handcuffed to a horse.

- What, H?
- Pipe down.

HIGH T: What?
- Sorry. Sincere apologies.

You will be his chaperone.
In fact, he specifically asked for you.

Absolutely, hopefully we don't end up
handcuffed to a horse again. Ha-ha.

HIGH T:
Please.

- I'll have him home by midnight.
- Good boy. If you will.

- "Good boy. If you will."
- "Good man," I think he said.

- Keep Daddy happy, yeah?
- We're like this.

- You look after Papi so well.
- You're so jealous.

- Papi's fancy boy.
- You wish you had a papi.

[CHATTERING]

[SNORING]

M:
Uh, ahem.

Hello.

- Aah!
- Whoo! Oops.

- Sorry.
- Ahem. Hi.

Hey. Nope, I'm awake. It's all right.

Just catching up on my daily meditation.

I have been meaning to try that.

I read that it dramatically improves

- mitochondrial energy production.
- Yep, yep.

No, it absolutely does.

My mitochondrial energy's
through the roof.

- Um, have we met before?
- No. Agent M.

I heard you were on the Vungus meet,
and I wanted to offer my assistance.

I'm a bit of a Jababian wonk.

Language, culture, politics, fashion.

Um, anyway, I compiled a dossier
for you to read.

Oh, a dossier. I love a good dossier.

Um, the thing is... Ask around.

I work alone. Ask anyone around here.

Did you know that Jababians
are claircognizant empaths,

which means
that they can read your mind?

And your cards.

- Well, they do have a tell.
- What's that?

Subdermal spots
on the underside of their arms

- change color.
- Mm. Good to know.

Thank you for your offer. I'm good.

Okay. Message understood.

I will leave you to your...

meditation.

Thank you.

Oh. Do you know what your tell is?

You snore when you meditate.

On second thought,
maybe I could use some backup.

[♪♪♪]

[CHATTERING]

I was thinking, for the op,
I can take the perimeter,

- and you make the approach to Vungus.
- Ah, yes, good.

- Okay.
- Uh, the thing is, with this particular club...

everybody just wants to do
their own thing.

Aliens wanna look like humans,
humans wanna look like aliens,

so we may need to loosen up a bit.

Maybe we lose the tie first, yeah?

Pop a couple of buttons
and not look so, uh, stiff. Heh.

We don't want to advertise
our current profession,

- if you know what I mean.
- Mm-hm.

"Look, it's the Men in Black.
Aliens, get down!"

- I get it.
- Don't do that. Yeah? Good.

Great. Perfect.
How about me? How do I look?

Ha-ha. I would just, uh...

- Do you mind if I...?
- What?

Coming in.

It's a fine line between club casual
and the saddest man on Earth.

Thank you.

- Mm-hm.
- Yeah. Shall we?

- I thought that we were here.
- We are.

Entrance for special guests.

[CAR STARTING]

Step on it, would you, Freddie?

You got it, H.

Whoa!

Oh! Yeah, okay. Wasn't expecting that.

[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[CHATTERING]

The Vungus Among Us!

H-Bomb!

- V-Go! V-Go!
- Yeah, yeah!

Yeah! Ha-ha-ha!

Look at you. You've lost weight.

What have you done to your hair?
You've changed it. Looks fantastic.

Oh, I...
H: I barely recognize you.

Sorry. M, this is Vungus. Vungus, M.

Hello, M.

M: So nice to meet you.
- Mm.

- I've heard a lot about you.
- Highly redacted, of course.

[SPEAKING IN JABABIAN]

Ha-ha. Such a charmer. He says...

- he thinks you're hot.
- He thinks I'm what? Sorry?

It's a rough translation.
Probably works better on Ja... Jababia,

but you know that
since you speak fluent Jababian.

Oh.

Of course. Ha-ha. I was just trying
to find the words to articulate

- how incredibly eye-catching you are.
- Huh?

H:
Well, that he is.

M knows everything
there is to know about Jababia.

I wouldn't say "everything."
Always more to learn.

- It's like a fetish.
- Ha-ha-ha.

That implies something sexual.

- It's definitely not.
- It is.

It's always like, "Oh, Jababia this,
Jababia that, Jababia, Jababia, Jababia!"

- [IN ENGLISH] Yeah, baby! Whoop-pshh!
- I knew the two of you would hit it off.

Have a dance, okay? M loves to dance.

She's a wonderful dancer.
I'll get us drinks.

You're still a vodka cranberry guy?

You know it.

Okay. Okay.

M, please.

Come, sit next to Vungus.

I promise, I don't bite.

Okay, just give me one sec.

Four vodka cranberries.

It's all right. I'll get this one.
Put it on the company card.

Little tip: expense everything.

Hey, quick question, no big deal.

Are you, uh, pimping me out to Vungus?

What? No.

What the hell would give you
that impression?

Hello. Ha-ha-ha.

- Oh, I don't know. That?
- Oh, well...

Better not look at that.

If you want to use me as alien bait,
just let me know next time.

- I don't like to be lied to.
- What, like, uh, pretending

to be an expert in something you're not?

We're in the lying business.

- Are we?
- Jababians are prickly.

We want them to be happy.

So they don't destroy our planet
and everything on it.

And that is the mission.

- If you're not down with the mission...
- I'm down with the mission,

but I'm not fornicating with the Jababian.

That's not what I asked you to do.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ Let me take you to Indonesia ♪

♪ Where nobody can reach us ♪

♪ There's no need to take ♪

So how long you here for, buddy?

Vungus go home tomorrow.

H: Tomorrow?
- Mm.

H:
We better make it a good one, huh?

I came to talk, H. We need to speak.

Aw, talky, shmalky.
I want to see you dance.

Come on. Come on, I know...
I know this is your jam.

Get out here. M, come on.

Oh, no, I'm just gonna...
I like to butt-dance.

♪ Dimes wall to wall in the VIP ♪

♪ The age don't mean a thing
I ain't Chi Ali ♪

♪ I bring them out with no ID ♪

♪ Them boys they bring them out
Like I'm T.I.P. ♪

- ♪ Come here, girl ♪
- ♪ Don't stop, come on ♪

♪ Let me creep in your world ♪

♪ Let me take you to Indonesia ♪

Hey, I need to talk to you
about something.

If it's about that night in Beirut,
I deleted the photos. Promise.

No, not Beirut. Just...

♪ Don't stop, just rock, come on ♪

♪ Let me prepare your world ♪

[CROWD CHEERING]

[VUNGUS GRUNTS]

- H?
- Yeah?

M: Twelve o'clock.
- You're damn right it is.

Night is young. Woo-hoo!

Listen to me, H.

- This is serious!
- Whoa.

You're the only one
that Vungus can trust.

Well, feeling's mutual.

What happened to you?

Nothing. What happened to you?
Why are you so serious?

- Relax. Ow! Yeah.
- H.

♪ Let me take you to Indonesia ♪

♪ Where nobody can reach us ♪♪

[GRUNTS]

[VUNGUS GROANING]

[GROANS]

You all right, buddy?
What's wrong? You don't look so good.

- You okay?
- Vungus not feel so good.

H:
Vodka cranberry sure packed a punch.

Let's get his car and get him out of here.

Okay. Get you off to bed.

Let's get you in here. All right.

There you are, buddy. In you go. Oh. Oh.

Watch your head. Okay. All right.

Now, sleep it off, okay?
I'll speak to you in the morning. Hydrate.

Whoo!

M: Shouldn't we call it in?
- Oh, God, no.

The paperwork is a nightmare.

But Vungus didn't look too good.

He didn't look too good before, but...

H: Trust me, I've seen him way worse.
This one time in Istanbul...

[GASPS]

[CAR ALARMS WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

[VUNGUS GRUNTING]

Help me.

- MIB. Freeze!
- On the ground.

- Hands up.
- Palms down.

- Palms down.
- Hands up.

Which do you want to go with?

I'm fine with either. We have
to come up with something consistent.

- Do you want palms down?
- If you don't mind.

- Palms down.
- Palms down.

H:
Good.

What the...?

That is not good.

H:
Run!

[SHOUTING]

M!

[COUGHING]

- They are coming!
- Petrol cap. Go.

Oh.

[GUN POWERS UP]

[GUN POWERS UP]

H: We need more firepower.
Side-view mirror.

What do you want me to do,
throw it at them?

Oh, wow.

I haven't seen that before.

I don't think this is doing anything.

Come on.

Exhaust pipe. Go!

Come on!

M:
Oh.

Now this is more like it.

Right.

Hurry!

Go to Vungus. I'll cover you.

[GROANING]

H! A little help here!

No. Not H.

He has changed.

I could feel it.

I have to know...

[COUGHING]

if I can trust you.

Now I'm pissed off.

Hide this.

Something is wrong in Men in Black.

What? Vungus, what is this?

It's the only thing that can protect you.

[GROANING]

[EXHALES]

[♪♪♪]

Come on!

Where's your fancy dance moves now?

[ALL SHOUTING]

What the...?

AGENT 1:
Keep your eyes on. It's not safe.

AGENT 2:
Eyes on! Eyes on!

AGENT 3:
Two targets!

How is he?

He's gone.

AGENT 4:
Guys, back up a little bit, all right?

[♪♪♪]

C:
Oi! Outdone yourself here, mate.

- Well done. Well done.
- Thank you.

Fill me in. What happened, huh?

We were attacked, clearly, C.

- Right.
- By I don't know what.

The suspects, they did this
with their bare hands.

- Turned solid into liquid, then back again.
- What?

- Why's she here?
- She...

She is
H: She is

- walking you through the crime scene.
- walking you through the crime scene.

No, no. She is a probationary agent,

so she is not here at all, okay?

I think you'll find that she clearly is here
because I can see her.

- Backing you up.
- Thank you.

It was a figure of speech, but fine.
You are in so much trouble.

Oh, my God. You had one job.

You had one very simple job:

to take some lizard slimeball
out for a few drinks.

- That was it.
- Not a "lizard slimeball."

- A friend of mine.
- Oh, no.

- Yeah. Sorry about that.
- Mm.

He was a reptilian slimeball.

He's now dead because of you.
Who was with him when he died?

- I was.
- Who...?

Okay, good. And did he say anything
that might explain why he was killed?

Anything at all? Come on.

[♪♪♪]

No. Not a thing.

- So just to recap, um...
- No point.

A high-ranking member of the Jababian
royal family dies on your watch,

murdered by assailants
that you can't identify,

for reasons that you cannot begin
to fathom. Is that about right?

I switched off the moment
you started talking. I don't know.

Why don't you bugger off?

C: Okay, mate. Thank you.
- Yeah.

- I'll piss off, to the office.
- Where you belong.

To have a little word with High T,
who will not save you this time.

We'll be fine. Okay? Don't worry.

This is... We'll be fine.

Yeah?

Yes. Yes. Understood.

Yeah... Indeed.

[♪♪♪]

Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Thank you.

Let me assure you,
we will deal with this

in the strongest possible terms.

[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

The Jababians want your heads.

Quite literally. Both heads,
sent by diplomatic pouch.

Okay, um... Ahem.

Morning, sir. I have the, uh,
forensics report that you asked for.

HIGH T:
Thank you.

Well, this is troubling.

Very troubling.
C: Mm-hm.

HIGH T:
These are our suspects.

A species called Dyadnum.

From a binary star system
in the constellation Draco.

Draco, that's Hive territory.
The entire sector fell years ago.

HIGH T:
The Dyads' DNA...

are riddled with Hive mutations.
H: Mm-hm.

HIGH T: As we all know, the Hive doesn't
just destroy their enemies,

they subsume them.

Take them over from within.

Whoever these two were,
they're part of the Hive now.

Yes, but why would the Hive send them
all this way to kill a Jababian royal?

You knew Vungus better than anyone.
Did he indicate why he was here?

Did he want something from us?

No, he seemed pretty normal, happy.
C: Sir.

This whole thing is a fiasco. It's a farrago.

And a failure of this magnitude
requires immediate invokement of...

Article 13.

Don't be a dick. Who says "farrago"?

Uh, what is Article 13?

Immediate termination, followed by...

- neuralyzation.
- Wait a second.

HIGH T: Wait.
H: No.

Is that your answer to everything?

H: Put that away!
- Glasses off.

- Sir, you can't.
- Give me one good reason why not.

Um... Because it's...

what we were talking about. Um...

Because...
H: Because...

if you erase us,
you will never know the truth.

The truth.
C: Come on, they're stalling.

- Say the word. I'll do it.
- Put it away.

M, go ahead. Explain yourself.

Well, sir...

if you think about it, really think about it...

Vungus...

how many people really knew
that he was here?

The people in this room.

And perhaps a dozen high-level agents.

If those were the only people that knew
where Vungus would be

and we assume that Vungus didn't leak
his own location to the killers,

doesn't that mean that it was someone...

inside MIB?

A mole, sir, inside these very walls.

Sir, they're making this up
as they go along.

What do you mean, "a mole"?

In the history of the company,
there's never been a leak. "Mole."

- Something a mole would say.
- Don't be absurd.

- Classic mole talk.
- Sounds like Mole 101.

Enough.

If we've been compromised,

it puts every citizen on this planet,
both human and alien, at risk.

- C. Track down these killers.
- Sir.

- Find the killers, we find the mole.
- Will do, sir.

Dismissed.

M, it appears you're
as sharp as advertised.

Work the case with C.

And get Weapons Department
started on something

that can neutralize these Dyads.

Yes, sir.

Sharp indeed she is, sir.

I assume you'll want me
overseeing the case?

- A sort of, uh... Sort of...
- I'm finished covering for you, H.

You need me on this case, sir.
I've dealt with the Hive before.

With nothing but my wits
and my Series 7...

No. He dealt with the Hive before.

And I don't know
where the hell he has gone!

I actually used to think
you could lead this place.

I was wrong about you.

[♪♪♪]

We're done here.

That's an order.

Look, you weren't wrong about me, sir.

You saw something in me once.
It's still there.

And I apologize for letting you down.

Give me another chance
and I'll fix this. I promise you.

M:
I don't think it's just a blade.

- Looks like it carries some poison.
- I know what you're talking about.

Wait.
H: Sorry, mate.

High T wants me to run point on this one.

What? I don't believe you.

H:
I don't like it any better than you,

but he kept going on
about relying on me,

needing our top agent, that sort of thing.

I don't make the rules.
Take it up with him.

M, he's keen for you to shadow me.
All right? "Learn from the best," he said.

Little on-the-job training,
if you will. Hmm? Yeah?

Come on.

- Are you going or you staying?
- Uh... Yeah, I'll go.

Right, well...
M: Okay.

H: Come on.
M: H?

Thanks for that.

I'm sick of you.

Okay.

- What's the actual truth?
- You tell me.

For someone who hates lying,
that was incredible.

- I wasn't...
- It was electric up there.

The way we played off
each other back and forth.

- I was riffing.
- A mole inside MIB.

It's genius. I wish I thought of it.

M:
I discovered a possible truth.

I mean, think about it.
It would explain a lot.

H:
What have you got so far?

I was about to run
a molecular deconstruction

on the substance and cross-reference
with all toxins.

- Good idea.
- Just a little science. I wouldn't do that.

Whoo! I know what that is.

That killed a 300-pound Jababian,
so I wouldn't get recreational with it.

That is Zephos, pure grade.

The wrong amount will kill you instantly.

The right amount will
keep you dancing shirtless

on a nightclub table in Monaco
for 17 hours straight.

So much information.
Always so much information.

It's what I've heard.

There's only one place in the world
where they know how to mix it. Let's go.

[♪♪♪]

You coming?
World's not gonna save itself.

Are you saying that you need me
to save the world?

H:
Uh-huh.

Thought so.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, wow.

You'll see that a lot around here.

It's a, uh, Cromulian tag.

In their galaxy,
a symbol for hope or annihilation.

There's still some debate
around what exactly.

Actually, it's harmony.

But on Earth, it means
we're entering an MIB safe haven.

- How do you know that?
- It's in the handbook.

Don't believe everything you read.

NASR: That is my job.
BASSAM: And myjob is what?

Hang out here and shut up?
NASR: Yes.

You shut up. That is your job.

H:
Well, look who it is. Nasr.

You know the rules: no visible alien tech
anywhere on the street.

Cover the bike up
before I have to give you a ticket.

H? It is really you?

Of course it's me. Who else could it be?

- Hey, Bassam.
- Hi, H.

Nasr said you were dead.
NASR: What? I... I never said that.

You did. He's lying. Aah!

Hey! Get...

- That's...
- And why would I be dead?

[GRUNTS]

Bassam misunderstood.

We heard that you and Riza had split up.

Oh, Riza. Who's that?

- It's not important.
- Mm, human or...?

- Doesn't matter.
- I'm just curious

how it works between species, so...

Very unimportant.
Old friend of mine, so...

Who runs the biggest criminal
syndicate in the galaxy.

Who is a very successful
businesswoman.

I love a businesswoman.
H: Okay.

- Why are we talking about this?
- So sad, H.

- You made a lovely couple.
- Thank you. These things happen.

You said,
"That psycho's gonna slit his throat."

Oh. Hm.

Excuse us for one moment.

BASSAM:
Your words, not mine. Don't you...

You dated this person?
It seems like a conflict of interest.

Conflict of interest for you
to know about my private life.

Yeah, sure. I would prefer not to.

Hey, hey, that's enough. Listen.
BASSAM: Ow, ow, ow!

Stop beating the hell out of him.
BASSAM: Whoo. Yeah.

- Keep this thing covered up.
- Absolutely. Will do.

H: Thank you.
- Won't happen again.

M:
Nice to meet you both.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- Ahem.
- What?

Uh, pulled this from the
surveillance camera outside the club.

Standing there,
making me feel uncomfortable.

AGENT:
Sorry about that.

- Have you shown this to T?
- You said everything goes through you.

Yes, everything does go
through me. Good.

I'll show him. Go on.

[♪♪♪]

Goodness me.

Oh, boy.

[♪♪♪]

NASR:
Here comes trouble.

BASSAM:
I like trouble.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Call Riza.

H:
Ah, here. This is it.

Looks like a couple days' worth.

No one's been out to collect.

Hello?

[♪♪♪]

[GUNS POWERING UP]

Oh.

One more step and I'll liquefy
your bangs, pretty boy.

- Easy, easy. We don't want any trouble.
- Okay.

Do not move.

[GRUNTS]

Hey, look at you.
What do we call you, sport?

- "Sport" is not what you call me.
- What is it?

- "It"? He.
- Sorry.

Why would you call me anything?
Pawns don't have names.

- We're pawns.
- Uh...

Okay. "Pawny," then.

- What happened here?
- Oh, we had the best party.

Kanye showed up
and dropped a whole new album.

It was some of his best work.
Look around! We got our asses kicked!

[QUEEN GASPING]

[GASPS]

My queen!

Oh, she's gone.
PAWNY: I'll never serve another.

I swear it. I'll plunge my dagger

into my own body, like this,
through my vital organs,

and then leave it until the dark takes me.

Hey, you're not gonna actually go
through with this, are you?

Listen. A queen's pawn
without a queen is just a pawn.

A nothing.

I must end my own life

in the most painful way possible.

Don't stop me.

Chance of survival: zero.

Think we should stop him?
PAWNY: Gonna do it.

Kind of wanna see
if he goes through with it.

- Uh... Sorry, what did you say?
- Hmm?

- Nothing at all.
- Know what? I did say something.

H: You did?
- Yeah. He's a witness.

Excuse me.

You know, I don't think
that she would want you to,

you know, go through with it, honestly.

Who are you to know
what a queen would or wouldn't want?

Are you a queen?

Well, to the extent
that all women are, yes,

but, no, no, I'm not a queen.

You know what she is, though,
is an agent.

"Agent"?
H: Mm-hm.

- Is that a title?
- It is a title.

A title of great eminence and stature.

M here is an agent.

An agent without a pawn,
if you see my meaning.

I never thought of this,

but maybe the best way
to honor the dead

- is to go on living.
- Yes.

I pledge loyalty eternal to you, Agent M.
M: No, no, no.

I'm not interested in a subject.

Too late. It's done.
I already pledged the loyalty.

I wish you'd said "no, no, no" before.

Congratulations.
PAWNY: And if you should die

before I, I promise to end my own life...

"In the most painful way possible."

Yeah. Ha. I don't like you.

H:
Let's go.

PAWNY:
My lady?

Come on. We'll have a fun time.

M: Fine.
- Yes!

H, there's something
I've been meaning to tell you.

- I've been wanting to tell you...
- Yeah?

- about it. Where is it?
- You mean this?

- You stole it from me?
- Stole it from you?

I recovered evidence
you stole from a crime scene.

Vungus told me to hide it
and I couldn't trust anyone, so...

Wait, you're telling me
you listened to Vungus,

you trusted Vungus instead
of your partner, a senior agent? Huh?

In a word, yes.

H, speaking of agents...

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Come on.

- Why would they be here?
- There's either an award show

we're not aware of,
or we're in deep shit.

C: Thank you. I need you to close
every street, archway and sewer now.

Come in closer on that body cam there.

A bit more.
HIGH T: Could someone please

explain to me what the hell is going on?

Sir, slightly sensitive subject.
Thought it best to keep it quiet.

- A bit further in, please.
- C, a word.

Absolutely. No one leaves
the medina, all right?

This... This is nonsense.

Despite your personal feelings,

H is one of the best agents
ever to wear this suit.

No, he was one of the best agents
to wear this suit.

He hasn't been the same
since the Hive. Look. Look.

My sources say that Vungus stole it

from the Jababian War Department
Advanced Research Division

and brought it here.

And you kept this from me?
For how long?

- Explain yourself.
- Oh, explain myself?

Sir, whatever that thing is,
M and H had it in your office,

and you let them go, sir.
With all due respect, you let them go.

[♪♪♪]

- Carry on.
- Yes, sir.

- And, C.
- Sir?

Bring them straight to me.

[♪♪♪]

Whatever that thing is,
Vungus died to protect it.

He gave it to me
so it wouldn't go to them.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

- Yes, sir.
- H, listen to me. This isn't my operation.

Get out of there. Get safe. Then report.

- M may be right.
- You, I want sitreps every 10 minutes.

HIGH T: There could be a mole
in the Men in Black.

[♪♪♪]

All right. Take this. I'll draw them away.
I'll meet you at the main square in 20.

Go.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Hey, guys, what are the odds?

[♪♪♪]

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

Nasr! I need to borrow your bike.

- As long as it is to borrow, not steal.
- Yes. Of course. Quick.

- Come on.
- Bassam!

Whoo!

Okay, uh, accelerator,

- brake.
- Water.

Very hot out there.

That's very thoughtful of you.
This is pretty straightforward?

Yes. Very straightforward, indeed.
Just like riding a bike.

Okay, cool.

Sorry.

[PEOPLE SHOUTING]

[GRUNTING]

Well, this is nothing
like riding a bike at all.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]

Quick, jump on!

Hold on tight.

Oh, shit!

[SHOUTS]

Hold on, Pawny!

PAWNY: Aah!
- Hold on!

Wait for me!

Thanks!

[BOTH GRUNT]

Ha-ha. I can't believe
that actually worked.

- Hey, H?
- Yeah?

Oh, right. Glasses.

Hi, everyone.
If you could all look right here.

Just drive.

Move! Go!

[ALL SHOUTING]

[SHOUTS]

Oh, boy.

What do you think?
The red button? I think it's hyperdrive.

No, I think hyperdrive is blue.

Sometimes you have to trust your gut.

My gut, not yours!

PAWNY:
Somebody press something!

[PAWNY SHOUTING]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[H CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHS]

Woo-hoo!

Lost the tail.
What'd I tell you, huh? Hyperdrive.

- Yeah, yeah. Okay.
- Trust your gut. Trust your gut.

Oh, God, I hate sand.

Ha-ha. The red button was awesome!
Let's press the red button again.

Shh.

[OBJECT CLICKING]

Wow.

Hey, what's it doing?

Moving.

[♪♪♪]

H:
Whoa!

What...? What is that thing?

M: See the core?
H: Uh-huh.

M: How it keeps emitting convective energy
across the interior of the photosphere?

Yeah, yeah. No, I see all of it.

I see the... The photosphere bit.
Mm-hm.

Okay, yeah. Shh.
Those are thermonuclear explosions.

Wait, what? What does that mean?
Like a bomb or something?

I think what we're looking at is
a super compressed star.

And by the color temperature,

I'd say it's a blue giant.

Let's press the button.
Let's see what this does.

Are you suggesting that we try
a weaponized star for fun?

Mm-hm. Well, for science and fun.

- The two aren't mutually exclusive. Okay.
- I know.

Yeah, there is no better place. They don't
call it the Empty Quarter for nothing.

Yes. That's why I made
the suggestion. Go.

Uh, at just.001? What do you think?

H:
Yeah. Just start off slow.

Press the button.
M: Okay.

[GUN POWERING UP]

Mm. Maybe ratchet it up a few notches,
a little higher...

Whoa!

That was the low setting?

[PANTING]

Uh...

Do we think anyone's gonna notice
that wasn't there before?

[♪♪♪]

Sir, they, uh, got away.

I believe the appropriate phrase is...

you lost them.

Well, I put it to you, sir...

- that they had help.
- Probably.

But I know H.

Whatever he's doing, there's a reason.

Why do you keep protecting him?

Huh? What is it going to take?

- I am protecting this institution.
- From what? From me?

- Are you questioning my loyalty, sir?
- At the very least, your judgment.

Is there anything else, Agent C?

[♪♪♪]

- No, sir.
- Good.

Then would you kindly leave?

Vungus knew how powerful
that thing was, right?

He knew it could destroy worlds,
and he gave it to you.

I don't understand.
Someone he onlyjust met.

Why would he do that?

- I don't know.
- Hmm?

- Maybe he trusted me.
- Ha-ha.

I'm not gonna doubt
your general trustworthiness,

but, I mean,
I sang at Vungus' mother's funeral.

Quite beautifully, I might add.

We knew everything about one another.

I mean, hey,
I'm pretty sure he trusted me. Heh.

Okay, H, if you must know...

he said that you'd changed.

I'm getting sick of hearing people
giving me this "you've changed" crap.

- I'm the same person I was years ago.
- You've always been this way?

What way?

Uh, vaguely inept.

Arrogant. Reckless.

- Did I miss anything?
- Okay, yeah. Hey, look.

Arrogant and reckless. That's nice.

Maybe I am a few
of those things occasionally,

but guess what, myjob is saving
the planet and that's what I do.

I do a pretty good job at it, okay?

And while that's still happening,
the rules are: there are no rules.

Well, that's a rule.
M: Mm-hm.

Ah, damn it. All right, nobody move!

Drop it, hairball!

Nobody move.
H: Bassam.

How the hell'd you get here?
BASSAM: Feeling hydrated, H?

Never had a bath before.

Lost 2 pounds in dirt alone.

God, we drank from that.

Oh, God, I thought
it tasted like a living beard.

H:
Okay, um...

Bassam, listen, all right, mate?

Uh, let's be sensible.

I don't think you know
what you're dealing with, so...

BASSAM:
Oh, no, I definitely do.

Which is why she's gonna pay
so much for it.

- No, wait. Wait, wait!
- No, no, no!

BASSAM:
Have a nice life, bozos!

M:
Great job, H.

Pawny, can you ask her to pass me
the torque wrench, please?

She has a name and a title,
and you know that.

My lady, the jackass wants
a torque wrench.

Pawny, will you tell him that the sooner
he restores power to my drive console,

the sooner I can figure out
how to program it?

My lady says
you're a cloth-brained ass-clown

whose gullible idiocy has threatened
the very existence of the planet.

You know what,
she didn't say that. All right?

- You worst piece on the chess board.
- She said that.

- Didn't say any of it.
- Ow!

Yeah, but I was thinking it.
Actually, every single word.

You make a really good point. Thank you.

[SIGHS]

If you'll tell your lady
she now has power.

Uh, the jackass says, my lady,
that you have power.

Can you thank him?

PAWNY: Really?
- But in a cold, kind of polite way.

You can even put a glare on it.
Just play around with it. I trust you.

My lady says thank you.

[GROANS]

I know where the weapon's going
and how to get it back.

- My lady?
- I got this one. I'm listening.

Bassam has only one real buyer:

Riza Stavros.

Riza? The Riza that you went out with?

The intergalactic,
alien arms-dealer Riza?

I'm gonna hop back in for a second.

You dated Riza Stavros,
the Merchant of Death?

The Mother of Murder?

She's pretty hot.
H: Okay, I didn't know

she was an arms dealer when we met.

And I was distracted
by her feminine wiles

and her intoxicating beauty.

And besides,
we weren't interested in labels.

We were interested in our hearts.

If having a big, old heart is a crime,
then shoot me.

[GUN COCKS]

- Not yet.
- You'll let me know, though, right?

But really?

Your "big, old heart"?

[LAUGHING]

- What?
- It's just...

Well, it...? It's funny, is it?

[ALL LAUGHING]

M: "My big, old heart."
PAWNY: So stupid.

Who talks like that?
Ha-ha-ha. Big, old doofus.

You've never been in love, have you?

I'm not making fun. I'm genuinely asking.

You've never once abandoned logic
for passion?

Ugh. What is this?
The sequel to The Notebook?

I never saw it, but I assume
it's a lot of this type of nonsense.

Pssh. No, I haven't.

Passion is unstable,
and logic is constant.

Is that right?
M: Yeah.

Physical attraction is nothing more
than chemical reactions in your brain.

Can't trust them. They're not real.

Isn't the whole universe
a chemical reaction?

Pretty sure you can trust that.

Feels pretty real.

That's actually kind of deep.

Well, that should do it.

Power her up.

Thank you.

Pawny.

- Not there.
- That's as far as I could jump.

I could jump higher,
but it would've been more awkward.

Okay, enough.

Here we go.

And look at that.

Well done.
M: Mm-hm.

I know Riza.
She may be the Merchant of Death,

but she does have one weakness.

Ready to be a hero, little guy?

- Pretty open to anything.
- Good, because we're going to Naples.

Oh, to Riza's Fortified Fortress
of For Sure Death?

Ugh.

[♪♪♪]

Don't shoot. Don't shoot.

[ALARM BEEPING]

- Oh. I'm so sorry.
- Oh!

Can we do this another day?
I have another visitor.

- Oh, absolutely.
- Yeah?

Thank you.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

- Bye.
- [IN ENGLISH] Bye.

[MAN SHOUTS]

Luca.

- Did you miss me?
- No.

H.

I know why you're here.

[SNIFFS]

Why are you wearing pink trousers?

H:
So how have you been?

It's been a while, huh?

That's the tough thing about breakups,
is the friendships you lose. Ha-ha.

Ah. We had some good times, though,
didn't we?

[LUCA GRUNTS]

Riza and I had good times, I guess.

You just lurked in the background a bit.
Ha-ha.

[CHIRPING]

Wonderful, isn't she?

I just love dumb, beautiful creatures.

[H CHUCKLES]

[RIZA SIGHS THEN GRUNTING]

Well, this is familiar, isn't it?

So...

MIB finally showed you the door, eh?

Showed myself out, actually.

RIZA:
Oh.

Some horses are born to roam free.

And others just get shot.
What are you doing here?

I wanted to see you.
And I brought you something.

I know how you like special pets,
so I brought you a peace offering.

Meow, meow.

Bark, woof, et cetera, et cetera.

Oh, I like it.

He is cute in an ugly sort of way, isn't he?

The last of his kind.

You always did know the way
to my heart, didn't you? Heh.

And you always knew how
to make mine beat that little bit faster.

M: Not a neuralyzer in the world
could make me forget that.

RIZA:
I was actually looking forward

to seeing my guns tear you to pieces,
and then I saw

that perfect little face of yours, and...

[SIGHS]

I had to know.

Know what?

- I want to know the truth.
- Mm-hm.

Was this ever real?

Hmm? This?

You, me? Was it?

[CHUCKLES]

This'll be good.

Was it?

I knew who you were from the start.
My job was to gain your trust...

and take you down
when the opportunity came.

That's the truth.
M: Gotta turn my earpiece off for this.

God, shut up.

- What?
- No, I'm sorry.

It's what I say to my heart...

- when it's like a voice inside my head.
- Oh, I know.

I couldn't fake that.

Thank you.

It's okay.

No, but thank you for...

For giving me closure.

We all need some...
Some closure from time to time.

RIZA: Get him out of here.
- What...? Wait, no. Hey.

Wait. I need some closure too.

What about my feelings?
RIZA: H, here's a tip for you.

Next time you bring a peace offering,

don't make it the same day
I come into possession

of the most powerful weapon
ever created.

This has nothing to do with that.
I didn't know you had a weapon.

It's a separate thing. It's a coincidence.
Total coincidence.

I didn't know she had a weapon.
Did you?

[LUCA GRUNTING]

Take him to the boat.

All right. Okay, okay, okay.

Fellas, I think that went pretty well.

Looks like we'll be seeing
a lot more of each other.

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

[♪♪♪]

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

RIZA:
Sebastian, darling.

How would you like
to be able to destroy

entire solar systems
without leaving your home?

M: Pawny?
- Yeah, I see it.

Uh...

Oh, would you look at that.
Good to go, M.

Okay, Pawny, it's all on you now.

Okay, that kind of pressure
is not constructive.

It's very simple, darling.
Do you want it or not?

No, I only have one, Sebastian,
and I won't have that for long.

- No, I'm gonna give you five seconds.
- Perfectly done. Whoops!

I'm going to call you back.

- Crap. Oh, crap. Oh, crap.
- Look at your little legs.

You are so fast.

Why, look at you run.

You're so fast!

Wait, I'm coming. I'm coming.

Now, you don't run away again. Oh, hello.

Oh, and here I thought...

H worked alone.

Silly me.

Poor you.

It's been a steep learning curve, yeah.

[GUN WHIRRING]

Oh, that?
That's a snub-nosed Karzig annihilator.

Do you know what that does
to a human body?

It boils you from the inside out.

Cute.

Do you know what a Pawny does
to sadistic alien arms-dealers?

No, honey. Tell me what a Pawny is.

I'm a Pawny, you psycho!

[SHOUTS]

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

[GROANING]

[PANTING]

Looks like the tables have turned.

That was an incredible catch.

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

[PANTING]

That felt good.

[H PANTING]

[GROANING]

Don't worry. It's all part of the plan.

H, you always have been
rather delusional.

[COUGHING THEN GROANING]

Peace offering.

Kill them.

Start with him and make it hurt.

No! You don't have to do this.

Put me down, you Tarantian thug.

Wait. Did you say "Tarantian"?

Yes.
PAWNY: Yes, my lady, he did.

They tend to be single-minded
when it comes to killing.

- Brains the size of a pistachio nut.
- Okay. Shh.

You're not helping.

The creature you saw was
an unlicensed Tarantian

from Andromeda II.

Tarantian?

[CHITTERING]

I know a Tarantian.

I met one once.

I helped him.

[IN TARANTIAN]
Kabla nakshulin.

[GRUNTS]

What?

Kabla nakshulin?

- What she said.
- How do you know that?

[IN ENGLISH]
Because he said it to me.

[EXHALES]

Molly?

Yes.

Molly? Are you shitting me? Really?
H: Ha-ha.

Who's delusional now?

It's you?

[GASPS]

[GROANS]

You've grown.

Ha. I mean, me too.

- Give her the box.
- Luca, you can't do this.

Haven't I been good to you?
I've let you kill anyone you wanted.

Come on.

[GUN WHIRRING]

No?

The box.

[SIGHS]

Thank you.

You changed my life, by the way.
Ha-ha.

Hey, uh, quickly.

Kabla nakshulin, what does it mean?

It means,
"One day, I'll kill whoever you choose

in the most gruesome way imaginable."

[GRUNTS]

Or maybe we just keep her here
for a moment

until he and I can discuss
a plan of action.

H? H, are you okay?

[WHEEZES]

I'm good.

M:
That was... That was a rush.

H:
Yeah, and incredibly painful.

M: Yeah.
PAWNY: Pretty sure the plan

- went wrong in every conceivable way.
- Yeah, well...

So, uh, it's Molly, huh?

- You're not supposed to know that.
- Too late. I know it now.

Guess it's only fair that you know mine.

- I don't wanna know.
- I'll tell you.

- Okay.
- You ready?

Horatio.

- It is not.
- It's not.

It's Henry.

Yeah, you look like a Henry.

- Good. It's all I've got.
- I'm Steve.

Steve? I thought you said
pawns didn't have names.

We don't. I was just feeling left out.

H:
Heh. Oh, Steve.

[RUMBLING]

Whoa.

That is not cool.

I don't like what the earth is doing now.
H: No, no, no.

[♪♪♪]

[IN TARANTIAN]
Kabla nakshulin!

[IN ENGLISH]
It was worth a try.

[IN UNISON]
We must have the weapon, for the Hive.

No. I don't know if you've heard,

but we are the Men in Black.

The Men and Women in Black.

Nice save.

H: If you think we'll hand this over,
you've got another thing coming.

You don't know who you're dealing with.
We protect the Earth.

Everyone and everything on it.

So you wanna do this?
You wanna get down?

Fine. Let's go.

[GUN POWERING UP]

Move, and I'll obliterate
this entire island and everything on it.

Uh, including us. You don't think
we should've spoken about this?

I just gave a whole speech.

Yeah, I liked the speech. I just thought
this would be more effective.

You heard me. Don't make me use it.

We'll do anything to protect our world.

So will we.

Nothing in this universe is unkillable.

With the proper voltage.

Are you both all right?

Uh, yes, sir. Never better.

- Sir, how did you find us?
- Experience.

Riza again, H?

When are you going to learn?

Uh...

I knew I could count on you.
That, in the end, you'd pull through.

Thank you, sir.

You too, M.

Agent O had a feeling about you,
and she was right.

[♪♪♪]

The universe has a way of leading you
to where you're supposed to be...

At the moment
you're supposed to be there.

Let's go home.

[♪♪♪]

[ALL CHEERING]

Let's keep this safe, shall we?

Saunder, inform the Jababian embassy,
we have the weapon.

Quite the first assignment
for a probationary agent, M.

[M CHUCKLES]

Marrakesh,
the Empty Quarter, Naples.

Imagine what you will accomplish
when you're one of us.

- Yes, sir.
- Enjoy this moment, M.

They never last.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]

I don't know how you do it,
but you keep doing it.

Yeah? What's that, C?

Saving the world

from total destruction twice...

in as many years.

I mean...

- what are the odds?
- What are the odds?

[♪♪♪]

MIB!

[CAMERA BEEPING]

Right.

- Excuse me.
- Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How's it going?
- Uh...

- You know.
- Cool party, huh?

- Yeah, great party.
- Mm. Something is wrong.

That's what I was thinking.

I said to the Dyads we'd do anything
to save our world.

- They said that they would too.
- Mm-hm.

Then they told us they needed
the weapon for the Hive.

What if we misunderstood
what that meant?

Maybe they needed the weapon
to use against the Hive

- to save their world.
- Mm-hm.

Which could mean
they were never the Hive at all.

Uh-huh.

But the DNA, the mutations.
High T showed us that sample.

All right. Let's see.

Agent H,
bring up the Dyad forensic report.

Who has the authority
to make a case file disappear?

Come with me.

[♪♪♪]

And what about Naples?
How did he know we were there?

He was doing his job.

Does his job include tracking us?

He gave this to me as a gift.
It has a chip inside it.

We need to see
the confiscated Jababian weapon.

Not possible.

Not possible?
I'm the senior agent on the case.

Let's make it possible.
Where's the weapon?

I think he's been chasing it
the entire time.

- High T is the mole. He's gotta be.
- A mole for who? Where would he take it?

C:
Paris.

My guess would be Paris.

I knew all along that something was off.

I thought he was covering for you,
but it turns out, it was him.

He was hiding his own tracks.

H:
Gotta be an explanation. M, come on.

- I'm coming with you.
- No, C.

Hey, hey. Come on, now.
This isn't about you.

I know. I agree.

If it turns out what you're saying is true

and word gets out that T,
the most decorated agent in MIB history,

is a traitor, the agency will never recover.

If we stop him, no one ever has to know.

But what if you can't stop him?
Then what?

Well, then tell them it was me.

Tell them I was the traitor.
Trust me, the agency will believe you.

[♪♪♪]

You.

Oh, that's right. That happened.

[♪♪♪]

- That's what I'm talking about.
- I'm driving.

Uh...

[SIGHS]

- That really should be here.
- Not in this country.

[♪♪♪]

[ENGINE REVVING]

There should be
a big red button somewhere.

Yes! Press the red button.

Found it.

[CAR BEEPING]

[PAWNY SHOUTING]

[PHONE RINGING]

C:
H, you gotta see this.

A portal from Sector C
has been activated.

M: The Hive.
- I'm sending you backup. Out.

You remember when I told you
we're in the lying business?

Mm-hm.

T said that to me when he recruited me.
He said, "We have to lie to the world,

which means we can never lie
to each other."

I just don't believe that he has.

But you can't always trust your gut, H.

- Sometimes things are as they appear.
- No, we saved the world, for God's sakes.

Together, with nothing but our wits
and our Series-7 De-Atomizers.

So I've heard.

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

- H?
- Yeah?

Mind telling me one more time?
How'd you beat the Hive?

Uh, it was three years ago.
High T and I went to face the Hive

with nothing but our wits
and our Series-7 De-Atomizers. Cool?

- Yes, but how'd you do it?
- Wait. What are you doing?

- I'm curious. How'd you do it?
- I told you.

- You didn't, though.
- I did a few times.

Okay, uh, High T and I went up
to face the Hive

with nothing but our wits
and our Series-7 De-Atomizers...

[♪♪♪]

Am I...? I'm repeating myself, aren't I?

- Over and over.
- Word for word.

Yeah, um...
Okay, why would I be doing that? Um...

H, I don't think that you beat
the Hive that night.

I think you were neuralyzed.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

[GUNS POWERING UP]

HIGH T:
Ah. You came to say goodbye.

And you brought the lovely M.

You can really feel the history here.

Eiffel discovering wormholes,

gangways to other civilizations,

the First Alien Migration.

And we made history here too,
didn't we, H?

With just our wits
and our Series-7 De-Atomizers.

No. We didn't.

The Hive wanted
the most powerful weapon in the galaxy,

so you had Vungus bring it
to Men in Black.

You'd wait.
When it came, you'd give it to them.

My dear boy,
you were always a bright one...

but there's no stopping this.

With the weapon out of the way,
every planet will fall,

starting with this one.

Step away from the controls.

You neuralyzed me.

Made me a hero,
the guy that saved the world.

Left alive to sell the lie.

HIGH T:
They wanted this.

You were there.

- You were always like a son to me.
- H?

HIGH T:
You were always like a son to me.

That's not High T anymore.

You were always like a son

[IN DEEP VOICE]
to him.

[H GRUNTING]

[HIGH T GURGLING]

[SHOUTS]

PAWNY:
Shoot it! Shoot it!

My queen!

I'm coming!

[ROARING]

[SHOUTING AND GRUNTING]

What do we do? What do we do?

I'm gonna get it back.
I know he's still in there somewhere.

Hey!

Hey! I know you're in there somewhere!

[GRUNTING]

It's me, H.

Remember, you wanted me
to take your place.

M!

M:
The truth of the universe.

I want to know how it all works.

The universe has a way of leading you
to where you're supposed to be.

H: At the moment
you're supposed to be there.

My queen!

[♪♪♪]

I'm not losing another queen.

[GRUNTS]

You said I was like a son to you.

You were like a father to me.

HIGH T [IN NORMAL VOICE]:
H.

[ROARING]

M:
Right time...

right place.

[PANTING]

Pawny?

[♪♪♪]

- Yeah?
- You've served your queen well.

Thank you, my lady.

It was my honor.

[♪♪♪]

H:
So is she as tough as they say?

In a word, yes.

O: Well, you didn't screw up.
M: No, ma'am.

H: Let's be honest, there were
a few bumps along the way,

- friction at the start...
- Let's not be honest.

Okay. No, we did not screw up.

You said there may be a problem
in London, but you knew.

I hadn't trusted London branch
for some time.

I never understood the reason why.

T lived for this organization.

He was the very best
we had to offer. He will be...

missed.

[GULPS]

Welcome to the circus, Agent M.
You are no longer probationary.

There you go. My work here is done, I...

- You are.
- I'm sorry, what?

- Probationary head of London branch.
- I'm sorry. Probationary head?

It sounds like I got promoted
and demoted at the same time. Heh.

No. Try and cope.

Several years ago, before all this,
T mentioned to me

a young, up-and-coming field agent
who had certain

leadership qualities, shall we say.
Was his faith in you misplaced?

No, I just think there are far more
experienced agents than myself.

Yeah, there are.
But you have the full support

of our senior staff
and, by the way, Agent C.

Is that right?

O: Do I take it you accept?
- Yes.

Good. I'll talk to the bosses upstairs.

You need to clear your London desk

and report to MIB in New York
on Monday.

New York.

Thank you, Agent O.

Congratulations, probie.

Congratulations to you too.

You'll want to brief your agents.

Walk with me.

So you wanted to know how it all works.

Now you do.

And as you will no doubt
have divined, Agent M,

there's a price.

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[♪♪♪]

H:
Nope.

Ha-ha. Hey there. What are you doing?

I told O I had to take care of
a couple things before I went back.

- Yeah? What, like stealing my car?
- No, like driving it.

- You're on the right side, at least.
- I'm a quick study.

- Give me a lift back to London?
- Road trip.

[♪♪♪]

[CAR BEEPING]

Ow! Up, up, up!
H: Ooh!

Oh, God. Did not need that.

Could you zap me
with that forgetting thing, please?

What are you doing here, Pawny?

Get used to seeing me, pretty boy.
I'm your new babysitter.

- He's my new what?
- Babysitter.

Queen's orders.

She says the chance
of your sorry ass surviving without me:

- Zero.
- Okay, I did not say that...

- exactly.
- She said, "Slim to zero."

I rounded it down to zero
because I feel like it's zero.

Consider it a parting gift.

Come on. I saved the world.

You couldn't tell
because you were getting choked out.

- Do I even have a choice?
- No.

Yes! There we go. All right.
Where's that little red button?

Oh, it's right here.

Whoa!

- I still don't like you.
- I love that option.

[♪♪♪]

This is a complicated piece
of machinery, so be careful.

Yeah, got it.

I'm gonna trust my gut.

[♪♪♪]