Original subtitles

It was a terrible fight! There is no need to tell you on whose side our sympathies were.

You were so brave! We saw you retreat to our door. Gertrude and I had the same idea to let you into the house,

But when we arrived downstairs we saw you lying on the stairs in a faint.

We understood that we had nothing more to fear.

Rather the opposite - there was someone in need of our help.

Based on a novel by Alexandre Dumas père

La Dame de Monsoreau

Episode 6

This nobleman is so attractive...

It is our duty as good Christians to help him.

He is severely wounded and needs a doctor.

I have heard about a young doctor from the Beautrellis street.

It is said he recently saved a man from a knife wound in a most wondrous way!

But the doctor may betray us!

Do not worry, I will take care of it.

Very well, Gertrude. Take the money and go.

It will not take a moment!

-Please be careful! -Do not worry!

Oh Lord full of grace, save your faithful servant from his wound.

Forgive him all his sins - whether committed in full knowledge or not...

Heal him and restore him to life.

So that he may praise You with us, Lord almighty.

All saints and angels, please pray for him. Amen.

Gertrude has courage and caution in measure, and I relied on her.

I myself stayed with you.

I was praying for your recovery.

Oh Lord! I could not suspect that I would be so fortunate, my lady.

The doctor bandaged your wound, Gertrude put a blindfold on him again and brought him home.

But she suspected he might have counted the steps.

She was not wrong. He did count them.

You see, this scared us... We did not know who you were.

This curious doctor told us your life was not in danger.

But the count de Monsoreau could have appeared at any moment.

And this is how I found myself outside, close to the Tournelles.

And what happened on the next day?

The day when I thought only of you.

On that day, the count de Monsoreau returned.

We told him of everything - everything except you.

And the day after...

My lady, I think someone is approaching the house.

There are four of them!

I see four men! They are coming closer and closer...

They are opening the door! Entering!

Let them come.

And if this is the duke of Anjou and his people?

Oh Lord, let me at least see who it is first!

My lady, it`s the count!

Gertrude told me that you mistook me for the duke and wanted to take your life!

You are alive, mademoiselle. I can scarcely describe my joy.

Gertrude should not have scared you so.

Do you know, my lady, that I did not arrive alone?

Gertrude told me she saw four men.

Did you make an assumption as to who these people are?

I assume that one of them is a priest and the others are your witnesses.

Mademoiselle... Then, do you agree to become my wife?

Yes. But I would like to remind you of the conditions of our contract.

If no urgent matters compel us, I will only marry you in the presence of my father.

I do remember this condition. But are the circumstances not compelling enough?

If you consider yourself bound by word, I free you of that obligation.

But please, take a look out of the window.

I went to the window and saw a man wrapped in a cloak and another with a lantern.

"Who do you think these people are?", the count asked. "I think it is the prince and a spy,"

"Then command, my lady - what should I do?"

Yes, I still faltered. Despite my father`s letter, despite my oath, I was uncertain.

-If it had not been for these two outside... -It was I, my lady! I was that man in a cloak.

And the one with the lantern was Remy - that same doctor you sent for.

-No! It was you... -Yes.

I was searching for the woman who had become both my life`s greatest joy and greatest pain.

Then you are his wife, my lady?

Yes.

Since yesterday.

Oh Lord! Why did providence or coincidence not grant us an earlier meeting?

Alas! The Lord`s ways are ineffable.

-And yet, how did you get into my house? -The duke of Anjou gave me the key.

Anjou?!

He was scared of an ambush and sent me.

And you agreed?

It was the only way to meet you!

And to protect you from his pursuit.

Do you condemn me for this, my lady?

Yes. Because we should not have met.

If you had not seen me again, you could have forgotten me!

Believe me, it is not true! The moment I saw you, I vowed to dedicate my entire life to you.

From this moment on, I will strive to fulfil this vow in any way I can.

I am certain you want to know what happened to your father.

-Yes. -I will bring your father to Paris then.

We will find out which role Monsoreau truly played in your misadventure!

Some obligations will keep me in Paris for another day, but I promise you to depart the day after.

Trust me, my lady.

I trust you, monsieur.

-You want me to hit that ring? -Yes!

Do you doubt my ability?

Right in! I did not miss - and now it is your turn!

-If you do not miss, I will kiss you! -Then keep looking!

-The ring is over there! -Got it! -No, I did not see it!

But I hit the ring!

Damn it!

-Oh Lord... -Enter!

The king demands you go to him, my dear little St. Luc.

Tell His Majesty that St. Luc is afflicted by pestilence! That he is dead!

That devils carried me off through the chimney!

What a strange page! Tell me, St. Luc, is he ever awake?

Jeanne! Jeanne...

Catch!

-Oh... -Damn it!

-Monsieur! Defend yourself! -St. Luc!

St. Luc, I beg you, please stop this!

How stupid of you! How careless!

And insolent as well!

My lady, please explain to your ignorant fool of a husband that we are acquainted!

And that it was I who gave you your first lesson in courtly hypocrisy at that ball.

And I will be damned if you have not learned it very well indeed!

-Monsieur Chicot... -Yes?

You... you are so intelligent!

You are noble!

Pray continue, do! I grow in my own esteem as you speak.

You... you are handsome as well!

And you are our friend, are you not?

This I have to deny, lovely Jeanne - each of us is just responsible for himself in this best of all worlds!

And only the Lord is for us all!

I beg you, please help us escape from here.

So you want to leave the golden cage, my turtledoves?

-Are you certain, St. Luc, that you will not miss paradise lost? -"Chicot! St. Luc! Where are you?"

To hell with this paradise! I have no wish to be the king`s toy! -Quiet!

-I am a married man, after all! -Hush!

If the king wishes to see me among his friends he should learn to consider my wishes as well!

You dare to dictate terms to the king?

Well, this does increase my reward. I mean for the favor you ask of me.

Let us sit, turtledoves.

Children, now listen carefully.

This is what you must do.

My thanks.

Please hurry, my friend.

Aha! Finally! I have been sitting here all alone, no one to converse with!

Come closer, St. Luc!

Take a seat!

I do not understand what is wrong with you.

St. Luc, is friendship just an empty sound to you?

I do not know, Sire. When it comes to friendship, I am just an ungrateful swine.

Tut! How rude you are today, child!

Sire, I have a terrible headache. I am feverish!

-Is it not clear? -Ew, how disgusting you are, St. Luc!

-Henri, you have an angel`s patience! -Chicot! Leave St. Luc alone.

So this is how it is? Then bring me combs and creams, I want to apply them as well! At once!

Chicot, your hair is far too coarse - my combs will break all teeth on it!

What?! Ungrateful king!

If my hair is coarse, it is only like this because it always stands on end!

And all from the worries you have caused!

-What do you think of this fool, St. Luc? -Sire, please let me go to my room.

-Or I might collapse soon - I am all shivering! -Poor boy!

Very well, go.

But I will visit you this night to see whether your condition has deteriorated or not.

-Please do not, Sire! -Why?!

You might suddenly wake me up, and it is said this could cause epilepsy!

Fine. Leave. But remember!

Your king is thinking about you. Do you understand me?

Poor Henri! Other kings think of matters of the state at least sometimes.

-Have I displeased you? -Not only me.

So this is how it is? What do you want of me then?

Well, at least less perfume and pomade!

I know! You need a tyrant! You need bloodshed, a new St. Bartholomew`s Day! And I...

I want peace!

And, with your indecisiveness, you will achieve exactly the opposite!

Are you not too serious, Chicot? I feel sad today for some reason.

Make your king laugh.

Let us try then!

-Chicot, what are you doing? -Throwing flowers...

-...On your tomb! -Stop this!

-Stop this, buffoon! -Take a look!

-What? -Look!

Do you understand now which one of us is the buffoon?

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit...

-Good night, Your Majesty. -Yes.

Follow me! Draw your weapons! To the king´s aid!

Where is our king?! We cannot find him anywhere! Search every corner!

Ring all alarms! Raise everyone!

-Oh Lord, where is the king?! -I am here...

-Over there... There... -Sire! Ah!

There...

Sire, what happened here? I heard you screaming...

-Nothing... But Your Majesty were screaming, you must be unwell!

By Heavens, do not hold us in such fear!

Perhaps if I call a physician...

What?.. A physician?.. No doctors.

Call a priest!

-Are you not bored yet? -No.

Yes, my son, you are truly successful when cutting out paper angels!

Finally!

What? What did he tell you?

This mysterious disease must have exhausted St. Luc fully!

He claims that he was in a lethargic sleep this night and heard nothing -

Although only a thin wall separates him from the royal bedchamber!

Son of a bitch! I am certain he knows something but does not want to tell!

I think he is still angry that we did not warn him about the king`s prank and he got caught!

I would have probably warned him if I had known anything myself!

So you are all here, messieurs? What happened?

A messenger arrived with an order to appear in front of the king at once.

Dear d`Epernon, as you can see, we are here and would like to find out as well.

The palace was in such an uproar - only Huguenots attacking could have scared the king so!

Perchance Henri de Navarre is in Paris?

Damn it, that would be lovely! We would have a war and some decent entertainment!

Fine, messieurs, our investigation was a failure. Let us go to the king, he is waiting.

-Let us go. -But this is highly irregular!

So you have deigned to grace us with your presence.

My dear boys, the time has come to repent for our sins in front of our Lord.

And to do penance so that they may be forgiven...

... By practicing self-mortification.

Quelus...

Schomberg...

Maugiron...

D`Epernon...

Show some zeal, my boys!

Show some zeal!

More zeal is not possible!

Work at it! Harder!

Mortify your flesh! Harder!

Do not stop! Lovely, dear boys!

Chicot, you are insane!

Harder! Work at it! Like this, my boys!

Do not stop until I return! It will not be a moment!

What is it, boys? Continue! Work harder!

-Chicot, stop, it hurts! -Hurts? Come closer then!

I am not ashamed, considering that you got to taste the whip earlier than I did!

Chicot tasted the whip? What are you prattling about, Nogaret?

It is true! The duke of Mayenne got our poor Chicot acquainted with his whip when he found him with his lover!

Is this true, Chicot?

Yes.

This account is still to be balanced. Do not worry, everything is saved here.

Monsieur Chicot, tell us your secret then! I bet it is something extraordinary!

-Then bet, monsieur Quelus, bet, and you will win! -Agreed.

Then listen, dear children!

-A long time ago, Chicot had a beloved. -Ohhh! A beloved!

She was a tender, lovely and kind creature.

One night, while Chicot was visiting her, a jealous prince ordered his guards to surround the house.

They grabbed Chicot and beat him in a most cruel manner.

Then you got a hard beating, my poor Chicot!

And you could not defend yourself, did not take revenge, oh brave warrior?!

Lord Almighty!

Lord, You are my witness - I have never asked you to send misfortune on the duke of Mayenne, who ordered my torture,

...nor on monsieur Nicholas David, who performed this torture! No, Lord. Chicot is patient. Chicot can wait.

Although he is not immortal.

Six years! For six years he has been accumulating interest on a small account.

An account in the name of the duke of Mayenne and Nicholas David.

-Bravo! Bravo, Chicot! -May his patience last another year!

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit! -Amen!

My friends! I ordered all courtiers to join our procession!

Procession?!

What other folly will you surprise us with next?

We will all repair to the Chartres monastery...

... where myself and my spouse will don the wondrous robes of the Holy Virgin and pray for an heir.

Dear Louise, as soon as we return to the palace, I will give you a pearl necklace!

You want to gift me with a necklace, my dear husband? Why did you ask me to wear this robe then?

To repent for my sins! Then we will go on a pilgrimage to the holy relics.

Your Majesty, I will pray for your sins to be forgiven then!

Repent! Sinners, repent!

Do not be too soft on yourselves! Repent! I forgive you your sins!

Wait! We will repent somewhere else!

Good day and good luck to us all, sirs! This repentant sinner is with me.

His confessor ordered him to be a jester`s jester - so any questions to him you may direct my way.

No takers? Very well!

Chicot, why are you defending me? If they mind my clothes, I...

A free piece of advice for you - leave your arrogance at home. They don`t like your sort here.

Also you are unarmed, but each of those men keeps a knife in his boot!

To hell with them, we have to talk.

But I have to fill my stomach first - my appetite is a fierce thing!

-Maitre Bonnome! -On my way!

-Maitre Bonnome! -Someone is calling already... Oh!

-Monsieur Chicot, bonjour and bon appetit! -Thank you for the double greeting!

Although I suspect its second part will prove more profitable for you than for me.

What do you wish me to serve?

Shrimp soup, ham, fish, eel pâté and a bottle of Burgundy!

-Should I serve the meal upstairs? -No, in the main hall - I must have a clear view of the street.

We must rejoin the procession when His Majesty deigns to return.

Your wish is my command, monsieur Chicot!

Take a seat, monsieur de St. Luc!

I don`t see Chicot and St. Luc - looks like they escaped! Damn those scoundrels!

Finally! Mariquita, my beauty! Will you sit with us?

Of course, monsieur Chicot - I will serve the customers and return!

I will be waiting then!

Chicot, let us finally talk! Have you seen what your foolish idea unleashed?

Now it increasingly looks like a nice stay in the Bastille is a possibility! Or in a convent!

-I was thinking... -What, you can think, my boy?

Do not interrupt! Here is my idea: I will not return to the Louvre.

I will send someone to fetch Jeanne and we will leave Paris at once.

Better to spend the rest of my days in exile rather than in prison!

St. Luc! You gave a nobleman`s word! And I do hope it means something to you.

Yes, damn it!

Then we will see this game through - considering that you asked for it yourself!

-And I think that this night should suffice. -Tonight?

It is decided then - this night we will finish what we started! Your health!

Your health, Chicot!

Lord`s blessing, maitre Bonnome!

-Aha, brother Gorenflot! Join us here! -Chicot!

It has been a while, friend!

Monsieur St. Luc and I are dining!

But he is boring company - recently he acquired the bad habit of thinking!

The Lord is gracious and grants us what each deserves! You are dining but I haven`t even had breakfast yet...

-No breakfast? -Not me!

What were you doing instead?

-I was busy sleeping in my cell! -And what about the morning mass?

-The prior released me due to weak health. -Lazybones! -Who?! -You! -Me? -Yes, you!

-Yes, I am lazy! -Men are born for hard work!

Men - yes, but monks are born for inspiring men! Monks are an exception.

-So you are an exception then? -All monks are exceptions!

But I do hope, dear Brother, that you remember that tomorrow is the first day of Lent!

Unfortunately yes, monsieur Chicot!

Mon Dieu! The duke of Mayenne and Nicholas David?! Both here?!

We have some difficulties with Lent - both I and my stomach!

Where are you going, monsieur Chicot?

Mariquita, quickly! Come here!

Tsk tsk, monsieur Chicot! I have never seen you chase skirts like a soldier before!

St. Luc, do not say my name - I don`t want you to scare off these two rats!

Do you mean "these" two rats?

-Yes. -Who cares? Any reason is good enough to put such a pretty girl on your lap!

When I was praying this morning I had a feeling they might be returning to Paris!

I got you where I want you, monsieur Nicholas David!

It would be a pity to part without exchanging a couple of rapier blows!

Finally! I think the repentance is over.

Oh! The king is here, Chicot!

We must re-join the procession, or he will notice our disappearance!

These processions used to be better attended!

And they used to whip themselves with far greater zeal.

Go alone. I will catch up later!

I understand!

-I adore you! -You keep making these jokes, monsieur!

Yes, you know how I am.

-The way is free, Monseigneur! -Well well. Let us go then.

-Are you well, monsieur Chicot? -It`s nothing!

Well, my friend, this is it. Enjoy your meal without me, it is all paid for!

Good to know, monsieur Chicot! Your health!

-We must part ways here. -May I accompany you, Monseigneur?

No, we are nearly there anyway. Better not - I will continue alone.

Ah, before I forget - monsieur David, pay a visit to the prior of St. Genevieve`s monastery.

That cunning crook cannot be trusted. Take a look yourself if everything is ready for tomorrow`s events!

Remind him that he must close the gate at ten tomorrow evening and place guards!

Do not worry, Monseigneur, I will take care of it. Tomorrow at ten everything will be ready!

Adieu then, monsieur Nicholas David! We will meet tomorrow in the St. Genevieve Abbey.

And may the Lord help is in all our exploits!

St. Genevieve? I wonder what event is set to happen there at ten tomorrow?

Fine, we will find out tomorrow what a prince from Lorraine and a lawyer from Normandy plan to do in such holy company!

But for now let us see what foolishness Henri committed in my absence, ruling this lovely country named France!

If you want to, I can leave my crown and you - your wife.

We can hide from the world in some monastery.

We could become monks tomorrow and I would be called Brother Henri.

Sire!

You do not value your crown - it has started to bore you.

My wife is a different matter entirely! She is quite dear to me - as I do not even know her properly!

I cannot accept your offer, Sire! I am also not made to be a monk!

I feel a great desire for happiness and pleasure!

Poor St. Luc! You could not be more changed from yesterday!

Yes, yes! Yesterday I was a morose and capricious creature and could have drowned myself for no reason!

But today everything is different! I spent a lovely night!

And my day was not bad either! After repenting I feel renewed - I drink to life!

Enough! Enough, St. Luc - you will ruin yourself and me with you!

Enough! I hope that heaven will send you true repentance, so that we both may be saved!

Oh Sire, I am not sure about you - you sinned royally!

I, on the other hand, sinned like the poor amateur I am!

I do not just doubt it - I am certain that no joint redemption can be arranged for the two of us!

I recommend you throw the unrepentant sinner St. Luc out of the Louvre right now, as he will not reconsider!

I will pray for you, St. Luc.

Good night, Sire. Sweet dreams!

Lord, you who watches over life and death - your wrath is deserved and just...

... for the world is becoming worse with every day.

Chicot! Chicot!

Where have you been?

Ah, it is you, my friend! I nearly became religious, as I wanted to find out what it`s like!

But, to tell the truth, I have had enough of those monks. Pish! The dirty beasts.

Oh Lord!

What is the matter, Henri?

-Henri! -It is nothing!

Why are you not in bed?

My son, where is your hairdresser, your barber, your valet?

No! None of this tonight. All this is devil`s work.

The Lent season has arrived.

Oh Lord! Lord, forgive me and save me...

By the way, Henri, was it you who ordered all that rabble to assemble in the great hall?

I mean your over-groomed darlings and the duke of Anjou with his rascals.

Yes, you are right. I will be just and do my duty.

Let us go. I must punish my friends.

Translated by Grafinyademonsoro on Tumblr