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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,377 --> 00:00:40,973 Here are your brother's things. Sign here, Mr Kingdom. 2 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,692 The sea always gives up its dead. 3 00:00:46,657 --> 00:00:48,090 Thanks, Neil. 4 00:01:19,097 --> 00:01:22,646 - All right, Ted? - All right. Beautiful morning, Sidney. 5 00:01:22,737 --> 00:01:25,774 1,050 millibars and holding, over the Azores. 6 00:01:33,617 --> 00:01:35,369 (INHALES DEEPLY) 7 00:01:35,457 --> 00:01:40,326 Again? How many times do you want me to sue the Planning Authority, Mr Snell? 8 00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:43,011 They can't build a car park there, it's not right. 9 00:01:43,097 --> 00:01:44,610 From memory, this'll be the 17th time 10 00:01:44,697 --> 00:01:46,528 you've brought an action on the same issue. 11 00:01:46,617 --> 00:01:48,812 - Eighteenth. - Eighteenth? Oh, forgive me. 12 00:01:48,897 --> 00:01:50,774 One of them must have slipped through my synapses. 13 00:01:50,857 --> 00:01:53,655 - But they're wrong. - Well, they may well be wrong, Mr Snell, 14 00:01:53,737 --> 00:01:56,126 and I sympathise, but they have the law on their side. 15 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,651 They've been through all the usual rigorous procedures. 16 00:01:58,737 --> 00:02:02,047 As I recall, you appealed, it went through three separate courts of inquiry 17 00:02:02,137 --> 00:02:04,173 and all the way up to the Secretary of State for the Environment. 18 00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:06,976 All of whom, at some point, you tried to sue or legally challenge. 19 00:02:07,057 --> 00:02:10,254 You even tried to sue the barristers I engaged to argue your case in court. 20 00:02:10,337 --> 00:02:11,929 They gave me the wrong advice. 21 00:02:12,017 --> 00:02:16,408 No, Mr Snell, I gave you the advice and it remains the same. Drop it. 22 00:02:16,497 --> 00:02:19,330 Ah, but I've been doing some research. 23 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,525 (GRUNTS) Just leave them down there, will you, Mr Snell? 24 00:02:22,617 --> 00:02:24,255 I'll pick them up and go through them later. 25 00:02:24,337 --> 00:02:26,567 Oh, and I'll need legal aid. 26 00:02:27,937 --> 00:02:31,612 - Why can't he wash? - I think he does. It's his clothes. 27 00:02:31,697 --> 00:02:34,848 Over the years they've become impregnated with his unique signature. 28 00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,575 He means well. 29 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,171 Where would the world be without people like Snell? 30 00:02:39,257 --> 00:02:40,736 A lot fresher. 31 00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:43,208 It's not entirely his fault. 32 00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:46,334 Millie's new charcoal diet isn't helping. 33 00:02:46,937 --> 00:02:51,408 - Morning. - Now, sort, read, inwardly digest, 34 00:02:51,497 --> 00:02:54,170 and bring your sharp legal mind to bear on whether there's a case 35 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:57,488 - against the Planning Authorities. - I've got my own case? 36 00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:00,489 Market Shipborough's very own Jarndyce v Jarndyce. 37 00:03:00,577 --> 00:03:04,331 - Snell versus everybody else. - This came for Simon. 38 00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:07,250 Just file it with the others, would you? 39 00:03:07,337 --> 00:03:09,487 Don't suppose there was anything from the bank, was there? 40 00:03:09,577 --> 00:03:10,646 No. 41 00:03:14,097 --> 00:03:18,215 - I picked these up yesterday. - Would you like me to... 42 00:03:18,297 --> 00:03:22,051 No, I'll have to go through them. The police will probably want them back. 43 00:03:22,137 --> 00:03:24,810 - You all right? - Me? Gosh, yes. Yes. 44 00:03:24,897 --> 00:03:26,853 Never been all righter. 45 00:03:27,777 --> 00:03:29,768 (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING) 46 00:03:35,697 --> 00:03:36,891 Cheers. 47 00:03:38,137 --> 00:03:42,528 An hour and a half. Do I look 60? 48 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,291 Not yet. Ask me again at midnight. 49 00:03:47,337 --> 00:03:52,206 Ninety minutes left of living and then it's downhill all the way. 50 00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:19,051 Sheila? 51 00:04:31,377 --> 00:04:32,446 Sheila! 52 00:04:33,297 --> 00:04:35,652 (PHONE RINGING) 53 00:04:35,737 --> 00:04:37,216 Peter Kingdom. 54 00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:40,645 Oh, no. When? 55 00:04:44,137 --> 00:04:45,729 PETER: Lyle? 56 00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:49,489 Lyle! Lyle! 57 00:04:50,417 --> 00:04:54,695 - Sheila Larsen, Larsen with an "en". - Ah, here we are. 58 00:04:54,777 --> 00:04:57,211 Last will and testament, dated a year ago. How did she... 59 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,491 You screamed? 60 00:04:58,577 --> 00:05:02,331 I bellowed manfully. You'll know when I scream. Probate. 61 00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:04,726 A heart attack, they think. Possibly a stroke. 62 00:05:04,817 --> 00:05:06,045 But I'm on Planning. 63 00:05:06,137 --> 00:05:08,810 And there you were thinking nothing ever happens in Market Shipborough. 64 00:05:08,897 --> 00:05:11,252 No, what I said was, it's not quite London. 65 00:05:11,337 --> 00:05:14,249 Well, maybe, but we have our prominent citizens. 66 00:05:14,337 --> 00:05:16,328 Should you stay on after your articles, 67 00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:19,295 and should life sadly run its course for some of our clients, 68 00:05:19,377 --> 00:05:23,052 I can promise you the estates of two television presenters, 69 00:05:23,137 --> 00:05:26,447 a thrash metal drummer, and an actor who played a sex offender in The Bill. 70 00:05:26,537 --> 00:05:29,097 Can London boast that? I think not. 71 00:05:30,577 --> 00:05:32,772 No, Millie. This is business. 72 00:05:33,017 --> 00:05:35,087 I'll take this puppy. 73 00:05:35,777 --> 00:05:38,689 PETER: Oh, I understand that next to the lure of London's bright lights, 74 00:05:38,777 --> 00:05:42,656 Market Shipborough must seem like a very dozy East Anglian backwater. 75 00:05:42,737 --> 00:05:44,090 Point is, here you belong. 76 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,408 Practising law in London is like... light beer. 77 00:05:47,497 --> 00:05:51,809 It may look like law and smell like law, but when you swig it right down, 78 00:05:51,897 --> 00:05:55,810 it doesn't have the same effect. Here it's more human. Morning, Jim. 79 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:59,572 You know everyone, everyone knows you. John, sorry. 80 00:05:59,657 --> 00:06:02,729 You make a difference, that's the point. Hmm? 81 00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:08,125 Parking's just as crap, though. 82 00:06:13,377 --> 00:06:15,891 LYLE: Wow. Now those are cars. 83 00:06:16,737 --> 00:06:20,491 Sunglasses, Lyle. You're a solicitor, not a hitman. 84 00:06:24,537 --> 00:06:26,687 Damien. Peter Kingdom. 85 00:06:27,697 --> 00:06:30,609 This is my articled clerk, Lyle Anderson. 86 00:06:30,697 --> 00:06:32,767 Gosh, last time I saw you, you were, what? 87 00:06:32,857 --> 00:06:33,892 Seven. 88 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:37,208 During Mum and Dad's divorce. He bought me a football. 89 00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:40,255 Did I? I'm afraid that is the devil of being a lawyer. 90 00:06:40,337 --> 00:06:42,055 We're only ever around during a crisis. 91 00:06:42,137 --> 00:06:45,573 I'm so sorry about your mother. She was such a life force. 92 00:06:45,657 --> 00:06:47,409 59 is no age. 93 00:06:47,497 --> 00:06:48,725 Well, it was to her. 94 00:06:48,817 --> 00:06:52,366 It's probably a good thing. She hated getting old. So... 95 00:06:52,817 --> 00:06:55,047 - Shall we go through? - Mmm. 96 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,848 So, who found her? 97 00:06:58,937 --> 00:07:02,009 Some bloke called Rupert. You heard of him? 98 00:07:02,097 --> 00:07:03,416 I didn't catch his surname. 99 00:07:03,497 --> 00:07:05,852 Rupert? No, I think I'd remember a Rupert. 100 00:07:05,937 --> 00:07:07,734 Oh, right, so he's not in the will, then? 101 00:07:07,817 --> 00:07:10,331 Not as far as I'm aware, no. 102 00:07:10,417 --> 00:07:13,807 I checked the wardrobes upstairs. He certainly wasn't living with her. 103 00:07:13,897 --> 00:07:16,889 Last thing we need is some leech of a boyfriend 104 00:07:16,977 --> 00:07:20,049 crawling out of the woodwork and spoiling the inheritance. 105 00:07:20,137 --> 00:07:21,616 Well, quite. 106 00:07:21,697 --> 00:07:23,335 (BUBBLING) 107 00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:25,896 Sorry. 108 00:07:30,857 --> 00:07:34,293 To be honest, I just want this whole thing wrapped up as soon as possible. 109 00:07:34,377 --> 00:07:36,527 I can't be schlepping up here all hours. 110 00:07:36,617 --> 00:07:38,494 Well, I'll certainly bear your request in mind. 111 00:07:38,577 --> 00:07:43,093 But you should remember that our client is your mother's estate, not you. 112 00:07:43,177 --> 00:07:45,691 Our job is to gather in the assets, pay the debts, 113 00:07:45,777 --> 00:07:48,052 and then distribute the residue amongst the beneficiaries. 114 00:07:48,137 --> 00:07:52,255 Just pull your finger out, will you? And don't rack up the fees. 115 00:07:52,657 --> 00:07:55,490 (CLEARING THROAT) Then we can get this thing done and dusted. 116 00:07:55,577 --> 00:07:58,296 What's your brother make of all this? 117 00:08:02,457 --> 00:08:04,812 He does know your mother's dead? 118 00:08:08,177 --> 00:08:11,852 I mean, what a tosser. Why should we help him? 119 00:08:11,937 --> 00:08:13,814 Tosser or not, we're not working for him, 120 00:08:13,897 --> 00:08:17,492 we're working for his mother. Death, especially sudden death, 121 00:08:17,577 --> 00:08:22,207 often leaves a great deal unsaid and a whole heap of unanswered questions. 122 00:08:22,297 --> 00:08:24,891 Without us, many families would tear themselves to pieces. 123 00:08:24,977 --> 00:08:28,811 Ah, here we are. The other son. Mark Larsen. 124 00:08:29,697 --> 00:08:32,894 - You can manage on your own, can't you? - Are you having a laugh? 125 00:08:32,977 --> 00:08:36,128 Only I have to find somewhere to park. 126 00:08:36,217 --> 00:08:38,731 Mind you, you should find it a doddle without this to carry. 127 00:08:38,817 --> 00:08:40,250 Oh, Lord. 128 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,013 - Has she gone? - Who? 129 00:08:45,097 --> 00:08:48,328 - Mrs Thing. - Where? 130 00:08:48,697 --> 00:08:50,494 Oh, never mind. 131 00:08:55,657 --> 00:08:59,775 - Is Mr Kingdom in? - No, I'm afraid he isn't, Mrs... 132 00:09:00,497 --> 00:09:03,091 Well... He's out. 133 00:09:07,977 --> 00:09:10,491 Look, I don't know how long it is since you two haven't spoken, 134 00:09:10,577 --> 00:09:13,728 or what the reason is, but it ends here, do you understand? 135 00:09:13,817 --> 00:09:15,614 Decisions are gonna have to be taken 136 00:09:15,697 --> 00:09:18,450 which need the pair of you to be on speaking terms. 137 00:09:18,537 --> 00:09:21,813 - It wasn't me, it was him. - Oh, great start. Thank you. 138 00:09:21,897 --> 00:09:24,491 - We're different people, Mr Kingdom. - No, you're different. 139 00:09:24,577 --> 00:09:25,851 Oh, is that right? 140 00:09:25,937 --> 00:09:28,929 Well, look at me and tell me you haven't already been through Mum's stuff 141 00:09:29,017 --> 00:09:31,531 and picked out the best bits for yourself. 142 00:09:31,617 --> 00:09:34,973 - Why would I do that? - I don't know why, you just do. 143 00:09:35,057 --> 00:09:37,571 Do you have a brother, Mr Kingdom? 144 00:09:38,497 --> 00:09:42,456 My position isn't relevant. Look, it's very simple. 145 00:09:42,537 --> 00:09:45,210 After a few donations, the residue of your mother's estate 146 00:09:45,297 --> 00:09:48,494 is split between the pair of you, all right? 147 00:09:48,577 --> 00:09:52,013 But she specifically wanted this dealt with first, 148 00:09:52,097 --> 00:09:54,736 the contents to be shared between you. 149 00:10:00,577 --> 00:10:04,013 - These yours? - I don't think so. 150 00:10:04,097 --> 00:10:07,089 - Well, she wanted you both to have them. - Well, they're crap. 151 00:10:07,177 --> 00:10:09,930 Hang on, they're not some modern artist, are they? 152 00:10:10,017 --> 00:10:14,056 You know, Tracey whatever, or Damien thingy, are they? 153 00:10:14,137 --> 00:10:15,775 Emphatically not. 154 00:10:15,857 --> 00:10:19,213 - Then what the hell's she playing at? - Perhaps she thought you'd like them. 155 00:10:19,297 --> 00:10:21,094 Well, she was wrong. 156 00:10:23,817 --> 00:10:26,968 Please, just sort out the money. 157 00:10:32,977 --> 00:10:34,205 Sorry. 158 00:10:34,737 --> 00:10:37,171 - I'm glad Mum chose you. - Thank you. Thank you very much. 159 00:10:37,257 --> 00:10:39,851 Well, we'll try not to let her down. 160 00:10:47,257 --> 00:10:50,806 - Beatrice? - Anywhere here's fine. Have you got £20? 161 00:10:52,697 --> 00:10:54,927 (STAMMERS) What are you doing here? 162 00:10:55,017 --> 00:10:56,496 Staying. Not for long. 163 00:10:56,577 --> 00:10:59,296 Couldn't stand it any longer, so I checked myself out. 164 00:10:59,377 --> 00:11:03,416 Do you have anyone that could help me with these? Ooh, perfect. 165 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:06,091 Anyone making tea? Hello, Millie. 166 00:11:06,177 --> 00:11:07,326 Wow. 167 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,966 - You can't. - Well, she's... She's my sister. 168 00:11:12,857 --> 00:11:14,176 (SIGHS) 169 00:11:15,177 --> 00:11:16,769 - Mr Kingdom? - Yes. 170 00:11:16,857 --> 00:11:20,975 Rupert Bennett. I was with Sheila Larsen and I come about money. 171 00:11:21,057 --> 00:11:23,127 Oh. Well... Rupert Bennett? 172 00:11:23,217 --> 00:11:25,651 I'm afraid there's no provision for a Rupert Bennett in the will. 173 00:11:25,737 --> 00:11:29,446 Oh, no, I'm not after that type of money. I'm a male escort. 174 00:11:29,537 --> 00:11:33,576 She hired me to sleep with her for the night. This is my invoice. 175 00:12:11,177 --> 00:12:14,249 - I always liked this room. - Yes, well, don't go getting ideas. 176 00:12:14,337 --> 00:12:16,692 Last night was a purely temporary measure. 177 00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:19,496 - Where did you sleep? - Sofa. 178 00:12:19,577 --> 00:12:23,456 - Why? - Why? Because the floor is uncomfortable 179 00:12:23,537 --> 00:12:25,892 and Millie hogged the basket. 180 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,055 Does Gary know you're here? 181 00:12:29,137 --> 00:12:32,095 Course not. What's it got to do with him if I want to discharge myself? 182 00:12:32,177 --> 00:12:34,737 Well, it is usually a joint decision, isn't it? 183 00:12:34,817 --> 00:12:38,014 It's a private clinic. I can make up my own mind. 184 00:12:38,137 --> 00:12:40,810 Anyway, you know how I hate it when people get clingy. 185 00:12:40,897 --> 00:12:45,015 You didn't sleep with him? Tell me you didn't sleep with your doctor! 186 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:48,009 Why is it all my fault? He slept with me, too. 187 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,165 Sugar. 188 00:12:55,577 --> 00:12:58,410 With the light behind you, you could've been Simon. 189 00:12:58,497 --> 00:12:59,816 I don't think so. 190 00:12:59,897 --> 00:13:02,730 No, of course not. You're much too awkward. 191 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:06,285 (SIGHING) Not so much milk, either. 192 00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:13,329 (WHISPERING) What are you gonna do with her? 193 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,726 Well, maybe... 194 00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,091 Bugger. 195 00:13:45,697 --> 00:13:49,690 LYLE: Great, everyone else I qualified with is in and out of the High Courts. 196 00:13:49,777 --> 00:13:53,087 Me? I move your old toys round Market Shipborough. 197 00:13:53,177 --> 00:13:56,487 Well, that's because they made the mistake of getting good degrees 198 00:13:56,577 --> 00:13:59,011 from well-regarded universities. 199 00:13:59,097 --> 00:14:03,409 Your genius, Lyle, was to avoid such an obvious route to legal stardom. 200 00:14:03,497 --> 00:14:05,613 No other candidate I interviewed 201 00:14:05,697 --> 00:14:08,655 chose his uni on the basis of there being a snooker room 202 00:14:08,737 --> 00:14:10,853 in every Hall of Residence. 203 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:14,566 The essential quality for success is to be yourself and you, Lyle, 204 00:14:14,657 --> 00:14:20,015 have mastered the art of yourself-ness to a higher degree than... 205 00:14:20,657 --> 00:14:23,774 Well, to a higher degree than you managed to get in your finals, 206 00:14:23,857 --> 00:14:25,290 if I can put it that way. 207 00:14:25,377 --> 00:14:27,493 Have you got a screwdriver? 208 00:14:28,217 --> 00:14:29,570 Thank you. 209 00:14:31,217 --> 00:14:34,573 Just shove them down there, I'll deal with them later. 210 00:14:36,657 --> 00:14:38,534 (MILLIE GROWLING) 211 00:14:41,737 --> 00:14:43,295 (PETER CLEARS THROAT) 212 00:14:43,377 --> 00:14:46,528 Uh, Sheila Larsen, according to the bank statements, 213 00:14:46,617 --> 00:14:49,689 has been using this Rupert guy 214 00:14:49,777 --> 00:14:52,211 about twice a month for the past six years. 215 00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:55,607 Yes, well, sadly, Rupert is gonna have to wait in the queue for his money 216 00:14:55,697 --> 00:14:57,096 like everybody else. 217 00:14:57,177 --> 00:15:00,806 Pop quiz, Lyle. Order of distribution of estates? 218 00:15:00,897 --> 00:15:03,047 Mortgages first, and then funeral and our expenses. 219 00:15:03,137 --> 00:15:04,206 Exactly. 220 00:15:04,297 --> 00:15:08,370 One reason why being a solicitor is more rewarding than soliciting. 221 00:15:08,457 --> 00:15:11,415 - Next? - Inland Revenue and Customs and Excise. 222 00:15:11,497 --> 00:15:15,251 Yes. After which Rupert and others can present their bills 223 00:15:15,337 --> 00:15:18,170 for services rendered. And then? 224 00:15:18,257 --> 00:15:21,249 Specific legacies and finally, residues to the boys. 225 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,895 Excellent. 226 00:15:22,977 --> 00:15:26,970 Yes, banks, funeral directors, tax collectors, lawyers and whores 227 00:15:27,057 --> 00:15:31,812 all come before family in the eyes of probate law. It's interesting, isn't it? 228 00:15:32,377 --> 00:15:36,734 She was using this Rupert for six years, which is exactly the length of time 229 00:15:36,817 --> 00:15:39,570 her sons haven't been on speaking terms. 230 00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,296 Families are weird. 231 00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:44,446 (MILLIE GROWLING) 232 00:15:44,537 --> 00:15:46,653 She's still growling at me. 233 00:15:49,217 --> 00:15:52,448 Yes. Yes, they are weird, aren't they? 234 00:15:53,097 --> 00:15:56,567 Off you pop back to the Larsens. See what you can find. 235 00:16:10,977 --> 00:16:13,207 (WATER SLOSHING AROUND) 236 00:16:51,017 --> 00:16:52,211 Oi! 237 00:16:57,977 --> 00:17:01,014 Oh, hey. Now then, you can't do this. 238 00:17:01,097 --> 00:17:05,136 I'm with Kingdom Solicitors. We're the executors of her estate. 239 00:17:10,577 --> 00:17:11,896 Peter? 240 00:17:12,937 --> 00:17:16,009 Problem. You'd better come over. 241 00:17:19,337 --> 00:17:21,373 The cars weren't hers. They were leased. 242 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:25,166 A bit heavy-handed to grab them back when she only just died, isn't it? 243 00:17:25,257 --> 00:17:27,976 No, she was behind with her payments. They sent her letters. 244 00:17:28,057 --> 00:17:30,207 The fact that she died was just a coincidence really. 245 00:17:30,297 --> 00:17:31,776 They were gonna take them back anyway. 246 00:17:31,857 --> 00:17:34,371 And I found all these under the spare bed. 247 00:17:34,457 --> 00:17:36,288 Doesn't look like she opened her post for months. 248 00:17:36,377 --> 00:17:40,052 Oh, credit cards. February. Right up to the limit. 249 00:17:40,137 --> 00:17:41,775 15,000? 250 00:17:42,537 --> 00:17:45,574 Well, looks like there's a lot of work to be done, doesn't it? 251 00:17:47,217 --> 00:17:52,291 - Is there some sort of leak? - Might be. Yes. 252 00:18:08,977 --> 00:18:13,050 - Mr Kingdom. - Oh. Mr Snell, what a pleasant surprise. 253 00:18:13,137 --> 00:18:14,775 I was wondering how the case was going. 254 00:18:14,857 --> 00:18:17,894 Oh, oh, really very well, very good indeed, yes. 255 00:18:17,977 --> 00:18:19,854 What do you think of what I turned up? 256 00:18:19,937 --> 00:18:22,610 - Uh, turned up, remind me. - In the papers. 257 00:18:22,697 --> 00:18:24,927 Oh! Well, in fact, I was so intrigued, 258 00:18:25,017 --> 00:18:27,895 I gave them to my young associate here, Mr Anderson, for a second opinion. 259 00:18:27,977 --> 00:18:29,649 Oh, so you think we've got a chance, then? 260 00:18:29,737 --> 00:18:32,126 - Only we've gotta stop them. - Well, it's something we must discuss. 261 00:18:32,217 --> 00:18:35,015 It's very complex. There's lots of Latin. 262 00:18:35,097 --> 00:18:37,770 Oh, I know. So you'll ring me and let me know when to come in? 263 00:18:37,857 --> 00:18:42,408 Well, yes, only perhaps not so much in as in the open air. Yeah? 264 00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:44,374 - Oh, you do that, do you? - Oh, yes. 265 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,288 Yes, we lawyers are much more outdoors these days. 266 00:18:46,377 --> 00:18:50,529 The stuffy days of the stuffy solicitor in his stuffy office are long gone. 267 00:18:50,617 --> 00:18:51,732 Yeah. 268 00:18:52,857 --> 00:18:56,611 I'll deal with all those. You plough straight into Snell's papers. 269 00:18:56,697 --> 00:19:00,451 The quicker he realises he has no case, the quicker we get rid of him. 270 00:19:00,537 --> 00:19:04,815 And the quicker this town gets its much-needed bloody car park built. 271 00:19:05,257 --> 00:19:06,406 Peter? 272 00:19:11,537 --> 00:19:15,371 I don't mind the company, it's the staring I draw the line at. 273 00:19:15,457 --> 00:19:19,006 - Staring? - It's not a lounge. 274 00:19:19,417 --> 00:19:24,491 - I'm not a television. I have to work. - I'll have a word with her. 275 00:19:25,057 --> 00:19:27,776 - No, you won't. - I will. 276 00:19:27,857 --> 00:19:29,575 I know you. 277 00:19:33,177 --> 00:19:35,088 She's all you've got. 278 00:20:48,857 --> 00:20:51,894 I've no idea who she is. Where did you find her? 279 00:20:51,977 --> 00:20:55,413 In Simon's wallet. So he, um... He never mentioned her? 280 00:20:55,497 --> 00:20:57,647 (CHUCKLES) Well, you know Simon. 281 00:20:57,737 --> 00:21:00,888 He never talked about anything of substance. 282 00:21:00,977 --> 00:21:04,174 Though I'm sure he had more than his fair share of girls. 283 00:21:04,257 --> 00:21:07,693 Take it from me, I'm a woman, I know these things. 284 00:21:07,777 --> 00:21:09,847 Do you think they'll ever find his body? 285 00:21:09,937 --> 00:21:13,486 Well, after six months it seems unlikely. 286 00:21:13,577 --> 00:21:16,137 Well, I'm just pleased your father wasn't here to have to deal with it. 287 00:21:16,217 --> 00:21:19,846 He had a hard enough time with Beatrice. Do you visit her? 288 00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:25,208 - Which institution is she in now? - My institution. 289 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,533 Is that wise? 290 00:21:29,217 --> 00:21:33,210 - It's just the way it is, you know. - You are good, Peter. 291 00:21:33,297 --> 00:21:37,051 Everything always falls on your shoulders, doesn't it? 292 00:21:37,137 --> 00:21:42,165 When your father had Alzheimer's, Beatrice, Simon... 293 00:21:44,577 --> 00:21:47,091 How long before he's officially declared dead? 294 00:21:47,177 --> 00:21:49,168 Six and a half years. 295 00:21:52,137 --> 00:21:54,890 Hard to think you're now my only nephew. 296 00:21:54,977 --> 00:21:56,410 Mmm. 297 00:21:56,497 --> 00:21:58,488 Is it that time already? Oh, my. 298 00:21:58,577 --> 00:22:01,649 - Peter, walk me to the dining room. - Of course. 299 00:22:03,937 --> 00:22:05,211 Okay. 300 00:22:09,257 --> 00:22:13,170 - Have you heard of dogging? - Um, yes, Aunt Auriel, I have. 301 00:22:13,257 --> 00:22:15,930 Really? Oh. Oh, it was news to me. 302 00:22:17,057 --> 00:22:19,093 Difficult enough to do it in a car at all, 303 00:22:19,177 --> 00:22:22,647 without the heavy-breathing brigade staring in at you. 304 00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:28,090 The old Rover had bench seats in the front. 305 00:22:28,177 --> 00:22:31,010 You're a wicked and insane old woman, Auriel. 306 00:22:31,097 --> 00:22:35,170 - Why don't you stay for some soup? - Um, yes. Yes, why not? Absolutely. 307 00:22:42,737 --> 00:22:45,535 - I'd rather you didn't do that. - Do what? 308 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:50,771 Hey, do you mind? 309 00:22:50,857 --> 00:22:54,247 You can have them back. I just want some copies first. 310 00:22:54,697 --> 00:22:58,326 She's stolen my keys. I'm not putting up with this, Peter. 311 00:22:58,417 --> 00:23:00,408 I'm not some football to be kicked around. 312 00:23:00,497 --> 00:23:02,613 No, you're right. 313 00:23:02,697 --> 00:23:04,289 You've also had a fax from the Land Registry 314 00:23:04,377 --> 00:23:06,368 about the charges on Sheila Larsen's house. 315 00:23:06,457 --> 00:23:08,175 That should cheer you up. 316 00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,525 - Are they sure? - That's what it says. 317 00:23:13,617 --> 00:23:17,371 - Who am I to doubt? - You're not gonna believe this. 318 00:23:17,457 --> 00:23:19,971 - Snell has got a case. - What? 319 00:23:20,457 --> 00:23:22,493 He's got grounds for appealing against the Planning decision. 320 00:23:22,577 --> 00:23:24,807 No, no, that's impossible. 321 00:23:32,497 --> 00:23:34,169 Oh, God. 322 00:23:54,737 --> 00:23:57,046 Can Gloria have her keys back? 323 00:23:57,137 --> 00:23:59,970 She had to break into her own house tonight. 324 00:24:03,897 --> 00:24:07,128 At least she has a house. Never owned anything. 325 00:24:07,217 --> 00:24:10,095 - Never been allowed. - Beatrice. 326 00:24:10,177 --> 00:24:12,566 So which room's going to be mine? 327 00:24:19,217 --> 00:24:21,526 Oh, it'll need redecorating. 328 00:24:21,617 --> 00:24:24,051 But I... I thought you weren't staying long. 329 00:24:24,137 --> 00:24:27,493 Well, I have a right to be comfortable. And I want my own entrance. 330 00:24:27,577 --> 00:24:29,295 - Beatrice, I can't do that. - Course you can. 331 00:24:29,377 --> 00:24:31,572 One of those big metal staircases up the outside. 332 00:24:31,657 --> 00:24:33,056 No, this is a listed property. 333 00:24:33,137 --> 00:24:35,935 The internal and external features have to be in keeping. 334 00:24:36,017 --> 00:24:38,815 - In keeping with what? That's absurd. - Well, it's the law. 335 00:24:38,897 --> 00:24:41,286 Well, whoever said that the law is an ass was right. 336 00:24:41,377 --> 00:24:43,845 Well, it may well be an ass, but it's a stubborn one. 337 00:24:43,937 --> 00:24:49,694 And, I may point out, it's also an ass that keeps you in vodka and high heels. 338 00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:55,127 What is it you want from me? What are you after? 339 00:24:56,057 --> 00:25:00,573 You want me to be grateful, is that it? Grateful that you're my brother? 340 00:25:06,857 --> 00:25:12,329 PETER: Is that better? Hello? Oh, hell, blast, pants and damnation. 341 00:25:14,297 --> 00:25:17,175 It's the only place you can get what passes for a phone signal 342 00:25:17,257 --> 00:25:18,531 in Market Shipborough. 343 00:25:18,617 --> 00:25:22,576 Mr Snell successfully contested the building of a phone mast. 344 00:25:23,457 --> 00:25:25,607 Mind you, wonderful view. 345 00:25:26,377 --> 00:25:28,413 I reckon in our time we've done the conveyancing 346 00:25:28,497 --> 00:25:32,046 for just about every building as far as the eye can see. 347 00:25:42,177 --> 00:25:44,611 Ah, so there's no doubt, then? 348 00:25:44,697 --> 00:25:47,655 What I just don't get is why you sold the cars. 349 00:25:47,737 --> 00:25:50,968 Did it not occur to you that maybe we might like them? 350 00:25:51,057 --> 00:25:54,049 Certainly more of an inheritance than finger paintings. 351 00:25:54,137 --> 00:25:57,288 Yes, but I didn't sell them. They were taken back. 352 00:25:57,377 --> 00:25:59,891 - Back? What do you mean, back? - Well, she didn't own them. 353 00:25:59,977 --> 00:26:01,092 They were leased. 354 00:26:01,177 --> 00:26:03,611 Rubbish. What would she do that for? She had loads of money. 355 00:26:03,697 --> 00:26:05,494 Oh, for once in your life would you just be quiet? 356 00:26:05,577 --> 00:26:07,454 Oh, oh, it does speak. 357 00:26:09,057 --> 00:26:11,776 How well do you think you knew your mother? 358 00:26:11,857 --> 00:26:14,769 (SCOFFS) What sort of dumb question is that? 359 00:26:14,857 --> 00:26:17,690 As well as any child knows their parent. 360 00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:20,928 Did she give you any money during her lifetime? Any gifts? 361 00:26:21,017 --> 00:26:22,211 No, not to me. 362 00:26:22,297 --> 00:26:27,655 - Well, I got a tie for my last birthday. - No, I mean large financial gifts. 363 00:26:28,897 --> 00:26:31,650 She said she'd give everything to us once she's gone. 364 00:26:31,737 --> 00:26:35,525 Look, when can we get probate so we can have the house? 365 00:26:35,617 --> 00:26:38,689 Well, you see, that's the trouble. She didn't own the house. 366 00:26:38,777 --> 00:26:39,892 What? 367 00:26:39,977 --> 00:26:42,810 She took out a mortgage on the property and then last year, 368 00:26:42,897 --> 00:26:46,048 she took out a second one. So now the banks own most of the house 369 00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:49,527 and in return she got a large sum of money in cash. 370 00:26:49,617 --> 00:26:52,768 Thank God for that. Had me worried for a minute there. 371 00:26:52,857 --> 00:26:56,736 Yes, but the problem is, we can't find any trace of the money. 372 00:26:57,217 --> 00:26:58,570 Well, what are you saying? 373 00:26:58,657 --> 00:27:02,855 I'm saying that the best part of £1,000,000 has disappeared. 374 00:27:07,177 --> 00:27:09,850 Just doesn't make sense. 375 00:27:09,937 --> 00:27:13,771 I mean, if you had that kind of money lying around somewhere, hidden, 376 00:27:13,857 --> 00:27:16,087 why would you be up to the limit on your credit cards, 377 00:27:16,177 --> 00:27:17,974 paying extortionate interest, 378 00:27:18,057 --> 00:27:20,935 and only repaying the minimum every month? 379 00:27:21,697 --> 00:27:25,576 If you gave away that sort of money, who would know about it? 380 00:27:26,497 --> 00:27:30,172 You should ask Ted. He knows everything. 381 00:27:38,497 --> 00:27:40,374 Oh, we get them in all the time. 382 00:27:40,457 --> 00:27:43,255 Especially now we've started doing Thai food. 383 00:27:43,337 --> 00:27:49,173 See this one, Brenda. Husband left her for a younger model three year ago. 384 00:27:49,537 --> 00:27:55,169 Financially, never been more secure. Emotionally, complete wreck. 385 00:27:55,817 --> 00:27:57,045 Was she a friend of Sheila's? 386 00:27:57,137 --> 00:27:59,446 Oh, yeah, everyone was a friend of Sheila. 387 00:27:59,537 --> 00:28:02,973 If that Jacuzzi of hers could talk, make your hair curl. 388 00:28:03,057 --> 00:28:04,888 You never get an invite? 389 00:28:04,977 --> 00:28:08,856 Once, but there was a documentary on mudskippers I had to watch. 390 00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:10,131 Really? 391 00:28:11,057 --> 00:28:13,890 Am I the only one who never got an invite? 392 00:28:13,977 --> 00:28:15,729 Too late now. 393 00:28:15,817 --> 00:28:18,377 So, did Sheila throw her money around? 394 00:28:18,457 --> 00:28:20,368 If she did, then like the rest of her, 395 00:28:20,457 --> 00:28:23,927 she never threw it in this direction. Look at this. 396 00:28:30,177 --> 00:28:33,726 There, that's what she died owing me. 397 00:28:33,817 --> 00:28:35,045 Good Lord. 398 00:28:35,137 --> 00:28:38,174 That's the gross national product of a small African nation. 399 00:28:38,257 --> 00:28:42,614 Never knew her pay cash. Occasionally she'd settle a bit on it. 400 00:28:43,937 --> 00:28:46,292 So you never saw her with large sums of money? 401 00:28:46,377 --> 00:28:49,289 If I had, I'd have wrestled it from her. 402 00:28:49,817 --> 00:28:54,937 Funny, though, I always got a feeling something sad there, behind her eyes. 403 00:28:55,417 --> 00:28:58,727 Don't think she's that happy about one of her boys. 404 00:28:58,937 --> 00:29:02,612 (TSKING) I can't believe I never got an invitation. 405 00:29:03,977 --> 00:29:08,493 - Ah, just the man I wanted to see. - Yeah, but not now. I'm... I'm working. 406 00:29:09,817 --> 00:29:12,809 - Come round tomorrow. - Oh, right. Yes. 407 00:29:13,657 --> 00:29:17,047 - Usual, please, Ted. - Two banana daiquiris? Umbrellas? 408 00:29:17,137 --> 00:29:19,571 - One with, one without. - Right-o. 409 00:29:23,777 --> 00:29:25,176 Nice lad. 410 00:29:26,097 --> 00:29:30,409 With him you don't have the worry about the humiliation of rejection. 411 00:29:32,977 --> 00:29:38,131 - Hello. Is that... Does Peter know? - Well, he will when he gets home. 412 00:29:39,417 --> 00:29:41,533 And don't think of telling him. 413 00:29:41,617 --> 00:29:44,131 Despite what you must have heard about me, I can make my own decisions. 414 00:29:44,217 --> 00:29:46,253 I'm not a little girl. I don't need his approval. 415 00:29:46,337 --> 00:29:47,929 No, I'm sure you don't. 416 00:29:48,017 --> 00:29:51,134 If I want to redecorate, that's exactly what I'll do. 417 00:29:51,217 --> 00:29:53,094 I live here, too, now. 418 00:30:00,337 --> 00:30:02,897 - Can I help you? - Well, I'm not sure. 419 00:30:02,977 --> 00:30:05,810 I was given this address as belonging to a Mr Rupert Bennett? 420 00:30:05,897 --> 00:30:07,615 Rupert? What's your name? 421 00:30:07,697 --> 00:30:10,495 - Peter Kingdom. - A Peter Kingdom for you! 422 00:30:10,577 --> 00:30:12,533 - Come in. - Thank you. 423 00:30:12,617 --> 00:30:15,336 He's only just got up. He was working last night. 424 00:30:16,417 --> 00:30:17,691 Really? 425 00:30:20,177 --> 00:30:22,088 - You all right? - Um, yes. 426 00:30:22,177 --> 00:30:25,886 - You want some tea? - No, thanks, I've just had some. 427 00:30:25,977 --> 00:30:29,014 - Have you brought me my money? - Sadly, no. 428 00:30:30,497 --> 00:30:32,772 Ah, it's all right. Suzie knows what I do. 429 00:30:32,857 --> 00:30:35,166 - There's no secrets here. - Ah. 430 00:30:35,937 --> 00:30:40,169 Well, um, it seems that Sheila Larsen got rid of a great deal of money 431 00:30:40,257 --> 00:30:42,134 before she died. 432 00:30:42,217 --> 00:30:43,935 What, and you think I took it? 433 00:30:44,017 --> 00:30:47,134 No, I just wondered if you had any ideas. 434 00:30:47,977 --> 00:30:51,652 - You think I blackmailed her? - No, no. I was wondering if... 435 00:30:51,737 --> 00:30:54,297 If she'd mentioned anything to you. 436 00:30:54,377 --> 00:30:56,845 - What, pillow talk? - Lf you like. 437 00:30:58,257 --> 00:31:00,134 Well, the only time Sheila and I mentioned money 438 00:31:00,217 --> 00:31:02,287 was on the first night she hired me. 439 00:31:02,377 --> 00:31:05,847 - Did she seem worried about money? - No, she drank. 440 00:31:05,937 --> 00:31:09,088 Yes, but she didn't drink that much money. 441 00:31:09,177 --> 00:31:12,931 Ted mentioned that Sheila seemed sad. 442 00:31:13,017 --> 00:31:16,805 Look, I'm in a sad business. Everyone who hires me is sad. 443 00:31:17,457 --> 00:31:19,493 But I did once find her crying. 444 00:31:19,577 --> 00:31:22,455 It upset her that her two sons weren't speaking. 445 00:31:22,537 --> 00:31:24,926 I remember her saying, when everything else is gone, 446 00:31:25,017 --> 00:31:27,087 family's all you've got left. 447 00:31:27,177 --> 00:31:29,293 - Yes. - She wasn't wrong. 448 00:31:30,657 --> 00:31:32,887 You don't think he could be lying? He is a gigolo. 449 00:31:32,977 --> 00:31:37,448 What a sweetly old-fashioned word. No, no, I believe him. Lyle? Lyle! 450 00:31:40,537 --> 00:31:43,210 - Any news on the pension fund front? - Nothing. 451 00:31:43,297 --> 00:31:46,972 She didn't take out any life policies, either. In fact, she cashed two in. 452 00:31:47,057 --> 00:31:52,575 What on earth has she done with it all? And that would be who exactly? 453 00:31:52,657 --> 00:31:57,128 - Ah, yes. I was gonna tell you. - Oh, God, what colour has she chosen? 454 00:31:57,217 --> 00:32:00,368 Black. A very black black. 455 00:32:00,457 --> 00:32:03,096 Oh, and I set up that meeting with you and Mr Snell. 456 00:32:03,177 --> 00:32:05,975 - With me? - Well, I'm far too busy. 457 00:32:13,457 --> 00:32:18,770 Now, they plan to build the new supermarket over there, 458 00:32:18,857 --> 00:32:22,566 with car parking for 200 cars over there. 459 00:32:22,657 --> 00:32:24,568 And here's where the service road'll be. 460 00:32:24,657 --> 00:32:29,208 So which part is the area of contention exactly? 461 00:32:29,297 --> 00:32:32,255 Here. According to the plans, all this is owned by the Council. 462 00:32:32,337 --> 00:32:34,055 - But it isn't. - It isn't? 463 00:32:34,137 --> 00:32:38,255 No. They don't own this bit. 464 00:32:40,457 --> 00:32:43,733 - Well, who does? - I do. 465 00:32:44,617 --> 00:32:47,973 You see, originally, all this was land as owned by the nursery 466 00:32:48,057 --> 00:32:50,048 and they tried to sell it off in the 1930s. 467 00:32:50,137 --> 00:32:52,571 Hence Honeysuckle Lane and Rose Bush Gardens. 468 00:32:52,657 --> 00:32:54,807 Are you all right, Mr Kingdom? 469 00:32:54,897 --> 00:32:59,288 - Mrs Thing. - Who? Oh, right, anyway... 470 00:33:00,737 --> 00:33:03,535 Now, you see that this is the designated land 471 00:33:03,617 --> 00:33:05,687 sold all like little boxes. 472 00:33:05,777 --> 00:33:07,495 But the boxes never quite met, 473 00:33:07,577 --> 00:33:10,728 so there's a patch of land they never bought. 474 00:33:11,097 --> 00:33:14,692 Yes, but on the original planning application... 475 00:33:14,777 --> 00:33:17,416 Ah, so they only assumed they owned it. 476 00:33:17,497 --> 00:33:19,613 So I went back to the family who originally owned it, 477 00:33:19,697 --> 00:33:22,734 tracked through the successors in title, and bought it. 478 00:33:22,817 --> 00:33:25,126 - How much for? - £10. 479 00:33:26,137 --> 00:33:28,287 Mr Snell, you're an aggravating nuisance, 480 00:33:28,377 --> 00:33:31,449 a tiresome pedant and a complete genius. 481 00:33:32,217 --> 00:33:35,209 That land cannot be developed without your permission. 482 00:33:35,297 --> 00:33:37,049 I know. 483 00:33:37,137 --> 00:33:40,174 Though God knows what we'll do for parking now. 484 00:33:47,457 --> 00:33:49,846 She'd done it before we could stop her. 485 00:33:49,937 --> 00:33:52,929 - I'll speak to her. - Well, do this time. 486 00:33:53,017 --> 00:33:55,451 She's a strong woman, your sister. 487 00:33:56,457 --> 00:34:02,168 - You were right. Snell has got a case. - Well, I'm very rarely wrong. 488 00:34:02,377 --> 00:34:05,175 But how's the Sheila Larsen estate adding up? 489 00:34:05,257 --> 00:34:07,009 Not quite so well. 490 00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:13,090 Mmm, £20,000 to a care home. 491 00:34:15,977 --> 00:34:18,286 (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 492 00:34:24,617 --> 00:34:26,369 (BEATRICE SQUEALING) 493 00:34:29,457 --> 00:34:31,334 (BEATRICE MOANING LOUDLY) 494 00:34:34,977 --> 00:34:37,730 Hey! Come back. 495 00:34:39,057 --> 00:34:41,366 Oh, it's you. 496 00:34:48,697 --> 00:34:50,096 (SIGHS) 497 00:34:52,097 --> 00:34:56,613 - You are still taking your medication? - Of course. I'm not stupid. 498 00:34:57,457 --> 00:34:59,573 Anyway, I don't get as violent as I used to. 499 00:34:59,657 --> 00:35:00,931 Good. 500 00:35:02,577 --> 00:35:05,216 Try not to drink too much when you're on it. 501 00:35:05,297 --> 00:35:09,336 - It's not a good combination. - You won't make me go back, will you? 502 00:35:09,937 --> 00:35:14,533 If you do, I might have to report Gary to the General Medical Council. 503 00:35:18,657 --> 00:35:19,976 Thank you. 504 00:35:20,977 --> 00:35:24,367 It seems to be my vocation, getting people out of trouble. 505 00:35:25,697 --> 00:35:27,767 - Do you miss him? - Simon? 506 00:35:29,857 --> 00:35:31,210 Every day. 507 00:35:32,137 --> 00:35:35,174 And every day not knowing just makes it worse. 508 00:35:35,257 --> 00:35:39,535 I don't know how you have the time to think about so many other people. 509 00:35:39,617 --> 00:35:42,893 Look at you, wrapped in your shell with your suit and your ties, 510 00:35:42,977 --> 00:35:46,526 and your eternally irritating politeness. What is it? 511 00:35:47,577 --> 00:35:48,930 Protection? 512 00:35:50,137 --> 00:35:53,971 - Or for keeping everybody out? - You tell me. 513 00:35:54,697 --> 00:35:57,848 - Do people take advantage of you? - I don't think so. 514 00:35:57,937 --> 00:36:01,247 - Only you. - Yeah, but I'm family. 515 00:36:18,817 --> 00:36:22,776 20,000? Silly Shelia 516 00:36:23,497 --> 00:36:26,489 I wouldn't have thought she had 20,000 left to give. 517 00:36:26,577 --> 00:36:31,526 - Oh. So you knew her quite well, then? - Very well, Mr Kingdom. 518 00:36:32,137 --> 00:36:36,847 I knew her for over 30 years. I think I knew her better than anybody. 519 00:36:36,937 --> 00:36:39,770 Well, why, then, would you say that you would've thought 520 00:36:39,857 --> 00:36:41,734 she didn't have 20,000 left? 521 00:36:41,817 --> 00:36:44,456 Everyone else I spoke to, including her children, 522 00:36:44,537 --> 00:36:46,573 seemed to think she was rather well off. 523 00:36:46,657 --> 00:36:49,888 - Was there anything else in the will? - Such as? 524 00:36:51,097 --> 00:36:54,294 Was she specific about any other arrangements? 525 00:36:55,097 --> 00:36:56,610 I'm not sure I follow. 526 00:36:56,697 --> 00:36:59,848 Oh, I suppose she never thought it would happen. 527 00:37:01,097 --> 00:37:03,292 I have to show you something. 528 00:37:07,497 --> 00:37:11,126 Your eyes are younger than mine. Is this a "D" or a "G"? 529 00:37:13,657 --> 00:37:15,090 It's a "K". 530 00:37:17,657 --> 00:37:20,171 Hello? Sorry, can't hear you. 531 00:37:20,537 --> 00:37:23,005 I'm sorry, but I really am powerless to help. 532 00:37:23,097 --> 00:37:26,646 Although my brother's dead, he isn't. Not legally at any rate. 533 00:37:26,737 --> 00:37:30,491 In effect, my brother's affairs are frozen, in limbo. 534 00:37:30,577 --> 00:37:33,967 No longer in this world, but not yet in the next. 535 00:37:34,657 --> 00:37:38,013 - Sorry I couldn't be more help. - Fax just came through. 536 00:37:38,097 --> 00:37:41,533 - Family Records Office. - Lyle, you'd be wasted in London. 537 00:37:41,617 --> 00:37:43,414 Sheila Larsen, is it? 538 00:37:44,337 --> 00:37:47,056 (EXHALES) If only people didn't keep secrets, 539 00:37:47,137 --> 00:37:50,015 life would be so much simpler, wouldn't it? 540 00:37:55,777 --> 00:37:59,292 - What do you think? - Well, personally I don't like you. 541 00:38:00,017 --> 00:38:05,045 - But professionally, you're a client. - I was talking about the car. 542 00:38:08,657 --> 00:38:09,885 PETER: Hello. 543 00:38:09,977 --> 00:38:14,573 So, are we in for a colouring set or have you found the missing money? 544 00:38:14,657 --> 00:38:16,648 - Uh, yes. Yes, I have. - Ah! 545 00:38:16,737 --> 00:38:19,205 You may find the news disappointing. 546 00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:21,811 On the face of it, your mother was a pretty wealthy woman, 547 00:38:21,897 --> 00:38:24,331 but I'm afraid the reality was very different. 548 00:38:24,417 --> 00:38:27,136 Her major asset, the house, was doubly mortgaged. 549 00:38:27,217 --> 00:38:29,811 She was overdrawn at the bank, and her credit card and other debts 550 00:38:29,897 --> 00:38:31,694 amount to a considerable sum. 551 00:38:31,777 --> 00:38:36,248 The problem facing the pair of you is the way wills are commonly executed. 552 00:38:36,337 --> 00:38:39,727 Only after the discharge of debt and specific bequests 553 00:38:39,817 --> 00:38:42,650 does the residue of the estate fall to you. 554 00:38:42,737 --> 00:38:45,695 And I'm afraid after the mortgages have been paid 555 00:38:45,777 --> 00:38:49,895 and other debts discharged, that you're left with nothing. 556 00:38:49,977 --> 00:38:51,933 - Precisely zero. - No. 557 00:38:53,337 --> 00:38:57,774 No, that's... That's... It's not true. 558 00:38:58,817 --> 00:39:00,887 I'm afraid it is. 559 00:39:00,977 --> 00:39:03,810 I've just bought a bloody Porsche. 560 00:39:03,897 --> 00:39:06,013 I borrowed against what I was gonna inherit. 561 00:39:06,097 --> 00:39:09,089 - Idiot. - That's great, isn't it? Eh? 562 00:39:09,177 --> 00:39:15,616 Huge house, pool, Jacuzzi, sports cars, expensive gigolo. 563 00:39:15,697 --> 00:39:20,054 What do we get? Crayon pictures of trees and sky. 564 00:39:20,137 --> 00:39:22,173 - Love you, too, Mum. - Shut up. It was hers. 565 00:39:22,257 --> 00:39:25,294 - She could do what she wants with it. - Yeah, well, hasn't she just? 566 00:39:25,377 --> 00:39:27,049 So what did she do with all the money? 567 00:39:27,137 --> 00:39:29,935 I mean, can we, you know, sue to get it back? 568 00:39:30,017 --> 00:39:32,577 Maybe she wasn't quite, you know, right in the head or... 569 00:39:32,657 --> 00:39:36,536 Oh, I think she was. No, in my view, she did it on purpose. 570 00:39:37,577 --> 00:39:40,137 I think she wanted to leave you something 571 00:39:40,217 --> 00:39:42,606 a little bit more valuable than money. 572 00:39:42,697 --> 00:39:46,167 I'll drive. Uh, you may have to take the Porsche back. 573 00:39:50,857 --> 00:39:53,132 DAMIEN: How come you can afford one of these and I can't? 574 00:39:53,217 --> 00:39:56,732 PETER: I know, the world is so unfair, isn't it? 575 00:39:56,817 --> 00:39:59,456 Well, what the hell are we doing here? 576 00:40:01,697 --> 00:40:07,010 Ah, Damien and Mark! I've heard so much about you. 577 00:40:07,097 --> 00:40:11,648 Your mother was such a wonderful woman. It's a tragedy she's no longer here. 578 00:40:11,737 --> 00:40:13,967 You must have been so proud of her. 579 00:40:14,057 --> 00:40:16,696 Uh, yeah. Yeah, we were. Are. 580 00:40:16,777 --> 00:40:18,130 I'm sorry, Mrs Ashworth, 581 00:40:18,217 --> 00:40:20,287 but we really have no idea why we're here. 582 00:40:20,377 --> 00:40:21,526 But... 583 00:40:24,177 --> 00:40:25,690 I understand. 584 00:40:25,777 --> 00:40:28,974 Well, seems none of us knew Sheila as well as we thought we did. 585 00:40:29,057 --> 00:40:30,649 Well, this way. 586 00:40:33,617 --> 00:40:36,768 Thirty years ago, this was a small, run-down rectory 587 00:40:36,857 --> 00:40:40,372 that struggled to provide a home for children with severe special needs. 588 00:40:40,457 --> 00:40:42,846 And your mother changed all that. 589 00:40:47,057 --> 00:40:49,651 This is what your mother did for us. 590 00:40:49,737 --> 00:40:52,615 She donated money when she was with your father. 591 00:40:52,697 --> 00:40:57,293 But after she was divorced, we were able to build all this. 592 00:40:57,377 --> 00:40:59,095 - Did you know anything about this? - No. 593 00:40:59,177 --> 00:41:00,895 Our mother, are you sure? 594 00:41:00,977 --> 00:41:03,286 Her money paid for this? What the hell for? 595 00:41:03,377 --> 00:41:05,686 - Is this where the pictures came from? - Certainly is. 596 00:41:05,777 --> 00:41:08,735 And they were all painted by the same person. 597 00:41:08,817 --> 00:41:10,091 Karen Larsen. 598 00:41:10,177 --> 00:41:13,055 She wanted us to name it after your sister. 599 00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:15,446 Sister? We haven't got a sister. 600 00:41:18,857 --> 00:41:21,735 Karen. This is Damien and Mark. 601 00:41:24,697 --> 00:41:25,846 Hello. 602 00:41:30,017 --> 00:41:31,336 Hi, Karen. 603 00:41:34,177 --> 00:41:35,735 You making sandwiches? 604 00:41:35,817 --> 00:41:38,854 - Hands. - Oh, right. I'll wash my hands, then. 605 00:41:45,777 --> 00:41:49,656 Jam sandwiches, yum-yum. This is my favourite sandwich. 606 00:41:51,417 --> 00:41:52,930 (MARK CHUCKLES) 607 00:41:54,177 --> 00:41:55,735 Damien? 608 00:41:57,737 --> 00:41:59,807 Just leave me alone. 609 00:42:04,817 --> 00:42:07,377 I don't think he knows how to react. 610 00:42:07,457 --> 00:42:10,494 I mean, he'll come round eventually, in his own way. 611 00:42:10,577 --> 00:42:11,851 Mum always protected Damien. 612 00:42:11,937 --> 00:42:14,167 We always had to be careful when we broke news to him. 613 00:42:14,257 --> 00:42:17,727 Meanwhile, you were the one who was left to pick up the pieces, eh? 614 00:42:17,817 --> 00:42:19,375 That's what I do. 615 00:42:19,457 --> 00:42:22,733 There's someone like me in every family, don't you think, Mr Kingdom? 616 00:42:22,817 --> 00:42:25,377 Perhaps you're right. Perhaps you're right. 617 00:42:25,457 --> 00:42:27,527 If only I'd got past this party-going shell she used to wear, 618 00:42:27,617 --> 00:42:29,050 maybe she would have told me. 619 00:42:29,137 --> 00:42:31,890 Well, shells are for protection. Maybe she needed it to survive. 620 00:42:31,977 --> 00:42:36,528 Sometimes you only discover the real person after they've gone. 621 00:42:38,257 --> 00:42:40,134 Listen, if you'll permit me, 622 00:42:40,217 --> 00:42:42,970 I'd like to waive the firm's fees as executors. 623 00:42:43,057 --> 00:42:46,174 That way at least you'll get something out of your mother's estate. 624 00:42:46,257 --> 00:42:49,772 Thank you. But I think she's left us more than enough. 625 00:42:49,857 --> 00:42:53,691 You should donate it to this place, Mum would have liked that. 626 00:42:54,577 --> 00:42:56,727 Can we go now, please? 627 00:43:02,897 --> 00:43:06,014 - I sacked the decorators. - Did you? Oh, good. 628 00:43:06,097 --> 00:43:08,736 - Why? - Not up to the job. 629 00:43:16,977 --> 00:43:19,810 Eighteen cases. No offence, Peter, but the man's a joke. 630 00:43:19,897 --> 00:43:22,695 No, he is not a joke. He is a landowner. 631 00:43:22,777 --> 00:43:25,007 Here are copies of his Land Registry entry. 632 00:43:25,097 --> 00:43:26,610 His proof of ownership. 633 00:43:26,697 --> 00:43:29,052 - Which bit does he own? - Well, as a matter of fact, 634 00:43:29,137 --> 00:43:31,014 you're standing right in the middle of it. 635 00:43:31,097 --> 00:43:32,325 You're trespassing. 636 00:43:32,417 --> 00:43:36,490 As will be every car that uses this proposed relief road. 637 00:43:36,577 --> 00:43:38,693 I'll buy it. How much do you want? 638 00:43:38,777 --> 00:43:40,847 Oh, no, my client isn't selling, I'm afraid. 639 00:43:40,937 --> 00:43:43,007 We'll issue a compulsory purchase order. 640 00:43:43,097 --> 00:43:45,736 You'll have to take me to court first. 641 00:43:45,817 --> 00:43:48,695 - But that'll take years. - We know. 642 00:43:52,457 --> 00:43:56,336 What he don't know is I own lots of bits of land like this all over town. 643 00:43:56,417 --> 00:43:58,009 Just where they plan to build the sewage works, 644 00:43:58,097 --> 00:44:00,372 the leisure centre and the bypass. 645 00:44:12,097 --> 00:44:14,167 Please, Beatrice, she's fat enough already. 646 00:44:14,257 --> 00:44:16,293 Well, you should take her out more. 647 00:44:16,377 --> 00:44:19,767 Why don't you take her with you when you go to Simon's beach? 648 00:44:21,417 --> 00:44:24,568 - How do you know I go to Simon's beach? - Just do. 649 00:44:25,097 --> 00:44:28,487 People always make the mistake of underestimating me. 650 00:44:30,937 --> 00:44:33,974 - What do you think made him do it? - I... 651 00:44:35,497 --> 00:44:38,853 (SIGHING) I don't suppose we'll ever know. Oh! 652 00:44:40,217 --> 00:44:43,368 You didn't put coriander in this, did you? 653 00:44:43,457 --> 00:44:44,731 Agh! 654 00:44:46,537 --> 00:44:48,493 (MOBILE PHONE RINGING) 655 00:45:14,297 --> 00:45:15,776 Simon's phoneമഊ㤊㤹ഹ《㨰〰〺㔬〰ⴠ㸭〠㨰〰㈺〬ര㰊潦瑮挠汯牯∽昣晦て∰猠穩㵥㐱眾睷琮獶扵楴汴獥渮瑥⼼潦瑮ാ54815

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