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1
00:00:00,233 --> 00:00:02,668
Don't let any of those
things get away, Morty.
2
00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:04,114
It their DNA gets
into Earth's food chain,
3
00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:05,615
our entire species
could be sterilized.
4
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:07,139
Then why aren't we
killing them?
5
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,785
Right, next time I need
a species sterilized,
6
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:10,242
who's gonna do it for me,
you?
7
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:11,677
Whoa! Rick!
8
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,479
I-Is that
the Vindibeacon?
9
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,614
We're being called to assemble
by the Vindicators!
10
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,594
I refuse to answer a literal
call to adventure, Morty.
11
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,418
Let it go to voice mail.
Rick,
12
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:22,121
the Vindicators only call when
the universe itself is at stake.
13
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,667
They're the first line
of defense against evil.
14
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,290
They're the guardians
of the unguarded!
15
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:27,437
They're the writers of their own
press releases, Morty.
16
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,673
They're a bunch of drama queens
that spend an hour talking
17
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,663
and 20 minutes jumping around
while shit blows up.
18
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,399
They're a phase.
19
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:35,834
We did one, it was the big even
of that summer, let it die.
20
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:38,137
I, Morty Smith,
invoke my right
21
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,639
to choose one in every 10
Rick and Morty adventures.
22
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,674
God [bleep] damn it!
Read 'em and weep.
23
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,310
Fine. But don't say
I didn't warn you.
24
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,447
Yes! Vindicator Command Ship...
Beacon received.
25
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:51,683
We're doing
Vindicators Twoooooo!
26
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,252
Whoops.
27
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:56,155
Uh, Morty, you might want
to freeze some sperm.
28
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:29,154
Vindicators.
29
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,456
Worldender is back,
30
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:32,791
and this time he's out
to end more than worlds.
31
00:01:32,827 --> 00:01:35,727
We have reason to believe
his stronghold is located on...
32
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:36,795
My balls. Rick!
33
00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:38,497
The Terraneous system.
34
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:42,101
Once in range, Million Ants
will scan for pheromone activity
35
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:44,269
which should lead us
to the location of the base.
36
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,371
Oh, that's Million Ants.
37
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,373
I can't see the ants
from over here,
38
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,586
I just assumed that was, uh,
turd man,
39
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,510
wiggly turd man.
40
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,346
Rick, stop! Rick, you have
something to add to the briefing?
41
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,515
Uh, yeah,
just a few more design notes...
42
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:59,384
Um, this guy,
the, uh... the, uh...
43
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:01,120
I am Crocubot.
44
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,788
Right, Crocubot.
45
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:05,724
So, you're half cold,
unfeeling reptile, half...
46
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,359
also cold...
47
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:09,394
equally unfeeling machine.
Yes.
48
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,263
Wow. So, your origin
is what?
49
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,398
Y-You fell
into a vat of redundancy?
50
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,367
Got damn!
51
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,136
Noob Noob,
we're having a briefing.
52
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,537
If I can continue, Rick.
53
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,806
I anticipate sophisticated
security measures.
54
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,875
I trust
you can be of service there.
55
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,210
Well, let me check my list
of powers and weaknesses.
56
00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:27,613
Ability to do anything...
But only whenever I want...
57
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,481
Yeah, that sounds like
a job for me.
58
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,184
I wish he had the ability
to check his attitude.
59
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:33,752
Alan Rails,
ladies and gentlemen.
60
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,532
After his parents tragic death
in a railroad accident,
61
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,523
he gained the power
to summon ghost trains.
62
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,424
It's not all bad though,
63
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,805
they were spared having to see
their grown son wear a WHISTLE.
64
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,729
Got damn!
65
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,597
Thanks, Noob Noob.
This guy gets it.
66
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,236
Vance Maximus,
Renegade Star Soldier...
67
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,206
Sorry I'm late.
It was happy hour.
68
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:56,408
Happy hour.
69
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,477
Uh, I was also late
because of my drinking
70
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,279
and mentioned it
to zero applause.
71
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,447
Rick Sanchez.
Tinkerer of Terror.
72
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,715
Man, that's hard to say.
73
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:05,584
And... Morty, right?
74
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,653
Whoa, yeah!
I never forget a kid.
75
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,933
What do you say, Vindicators,
let's make this three for three?
76
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,256
- Haha!
- Yes!
77
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,724
Did he say
"three for three"?
78
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,593
Did he say he never
forgets a kid?
79
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,328
You mean two for two,
right, Vance?
80
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:21,934
Actually, we assembled
a second time last summer
81
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,802
to fight Doomnomitron.
82
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,572
So this is...
Vindicators Three?
83
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:31,510
And you guys did
Vindicators Two... without us?
84
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,513
I sense... insecurity.
85
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,648
Are you sure there's not
just a picnic nearby?
86
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,418
I guess he found his crowd.
87
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,486
Pretty toothless stuff,
guys.
88
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,636
I hope you're happy with
the adventure so far, Morty.
89
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,694
These guys are even lamer
than last time.
90
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,596
We weren't here last time,
remember?
91
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,598
They did a whole Vindicators
without us.
92
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,399
A bunch of them got killed,
too.
93
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:57,736
They lost Lady Katana,
Calypso, Diablo Verde...
94
00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,606
Yikes. Yeah, things did feel
less diverse in there.
95
00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:03,709
This article says the reason
we weren't involved was...
96
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,244
"personality conflicts."
97
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,346
Don't worry, Morty,
they love you.
98
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,248
Superheroes need
a wide-eyed unremarkable
99
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:10,393
to tag along and react
to everything
100
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,817
like it's mind blowing.
101
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:15,354
I... think the personality
conflict might have been...
102
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:16,622
you?
103
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,291
Jesus...
104
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,759
How awesome is that?
105
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,527
I mean, they wanted
to not need me so bad
106
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,396
they murdered three
innocent heroes of color
107
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,831
and they still
had to bring me back?
108
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,833
Rick, since
it's my adventure and all,
109
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,468
could you do me a favor?
110
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,903
Uh, the adventure
is the favor, Morty.
111
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,006
Me sleeping on these linens
is the favor.
112
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,875
I mean, w-w-what... what are we
vindicating? Comfort?
113
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,543
Rick,
this really bums me out.
114
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,280
It-It's embarrassing to find out
these guys don't like us.
115
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:42,914
Why? Morty
I defeat gagoos
116
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,983
more powerful than these guys
every week.
117
00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:46,785
Yeah, but not heroes.
118
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,999
Oh, please, they just call
themselves heroes so they can...
119
00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:52,791
I'm calling them that, Rick!
They're my heroes. Mine!
120
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,763
Huh, no accounting
for taste.
121
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,564
I'm gonna go get a drink.
122
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,874
Good morning, Vindicators.
123
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,043
Ship has arrived
at Terraneous system.
124
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:14,680
All Vindicators report
to the... briefing room.
125
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:17,015
The... The room
from the, uh... the...
126
00:05:17,051 --> 00:05:18,950
Uh, it's the d...
It's a different room than...
127
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,652
Than conference room.
128
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,088
I'm sorry, it's my first day
as a PA System.
129
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,724
First-day jitters.
130
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:29,795
Oh, God.
131
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,331
Good morning. Looks like your
grandpa had a long night.
132
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,900
Crocubot, why don't you
escort Mr. Sanchez
133
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,769
to a more comfortable spot
so that someone can...
134
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:40,539
clean up his diarrhea.
135
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:43,342
Oooh, I'm nervous
about my first mission!
136
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,744
Actually, Noob Noob,
you have a new mission.
137
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:49,548
Got... damn. Vindicators,
prepare for arrival.
138
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,117
Morty, the Vindicators and I
had a chat this morning,
139
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,720
and I'm afraid we need
to make a little change.
140
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:57,723
I-I totally get it.
I-I'm so sorry.
141
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:58,957
You should be.
142
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,036
Running around
in a yellow T-shirt
143
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,360
like you're not one of us.
144
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:04,629
Disgraceful.
I-I-I'm not a superhero.
145
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:05,831
Cop a squat, chief.
146
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,733
Everyone in the universe
is a hero.
147
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,746
All you have to do is know the
difference between good and bad,
148
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,103
and root for good.
149
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:13,672
Rick says good and bad
are artificial constructs.
150
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,941
Yeah, well,
I get the feeling...
151
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,377
He kind of needs that
to be the case.
152
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:19,678
Not coming, Noob Noob?
153
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:24,449
Ohh! No, uh,
I got stuff to do here.
154
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:33,058
Security drones, inbound.
155
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,927
Star Mother,
grant me your wrath.
156
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,566
All aboard!
157
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,881
Gun turret.
Are you all right?
158
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,783
Yes. I only lost 400 ants.
159
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,651
My queen is laying more.
160
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:02,521
I am back to...
one Million Ants.
161
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,889
Someone wake up Sanchez.
162
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,793
Ugh! Oh, Christ.
163
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,594
Rick. You're up.
Barely.
164
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,430
We're taking fire
from an automated turret.
165
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,798
Can you bring it offline?
Uh-huh.
166
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,609
Uh, my God, that's better.
Rick!
167
00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:26,445
Hey, I can't help
if I can't see.
168
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,899
I could've just used
a ghost train.
169
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:50,602
Really? You don't say.
You would've used a ghost train?
170
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,771
Hey, everybody,
the ghost train guy
171
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,706
would have used
a ghost train.
172
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:56,541
- Man, [bleep] you.
- Is there coffee?
173
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:57,843
Hey, Morty,
can you be a pal,
174
00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,611
Grandpa left his coffee maker
on the ship,
175
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:00,579
you know,
the French press thing...
176
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:01,813
Get it yourself.
177
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,652
Little extra snippy
this morning, aren't you?
178
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,554
Just focus on the mission,
all right?
179
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,456
Oh-oh-oh, I'm sorry,
oh, you're right.
180
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:15,660
Ohh, real serious.
Gotta take it real serious, huh?
181
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,964
Son of a Steam Engine.
They're all dead.
182
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:22,033
Why would Worldender do this
to his own men...
183
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:24,536
and several women? Well,
he is the Worldender.
184
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,738
The guy ends worlds.
Kind of his thing.
185
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:29,808
Ohh, real scared.
Real [bleep] on alert,
186
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,043
high alert over here.
187
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:34,145
Watch out!
188
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,580
What the [bleep]?!
189
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,649
It's Worldender!
What happened to him?
190
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:41,152
I sense his life force
is fading.
191
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,054
Million Ants,
ladies and gentlemen.
192
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,524
The ant colony with the power
of two human eyes.
193
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,194
All right. Short mission.
Good mission.
194
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,630
Remember when Alan
wanted to use a ghost train?
195
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:54,633
See you guys in Vindicators Four.
Morty? Rick, whoever did this
196
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,179
is an even bigger threat
than Worldender.
197
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,602
We can't leave now.
198
00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:00,005
He's right.
This is far from over.
199
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,640
Well, have fun with that,
200
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,553
but Morty and I have to meet
a Lady Comet, a Monorail Man,
201
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,644
Two Assholes, and a
Full Alligator in like an hour.
202
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,025
Shit.
203
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,693
I sense the presence
204
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,228
of a greater evil.
205
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:26,598
Drunk
Check, check. One, two.
206
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:29,634
Okay. Is it recording?
Good.
207
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,036
Hello, Vindicators.
208
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,438
Welcome to your reckoning,
baby!
209
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,074
Official.
210
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,176
I had too much to drink
last night.
211
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,114
You're, you know,
the Vindicators.
212
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:46,184
So, now that we know... Rick?
What's going on, buddy?
213
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:49,187
Obviously, I came here
last night during a blackout.
214
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:50,789
"Obviously?"
215
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,991
You came here and defeated
our arch nemesis...
216
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,093
while so drunk
you don't remember doing it?
217
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,329
That's something "obvious"
to you?
218
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,375
Look, I'm a lit... little
more complex than you guys,
219
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,132
and, no offense,
but I've always suspected
220
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,512
that a lot of what you do
in a year
221
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:04,269
could be knocked out
in a couple of hours.
222
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:07,005
So I thought, why not
just do your job for you,
223
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,940
so we can have
a little fun game.
224
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,111
Rick, is...
Is this a "Saw" thing?
225
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,347
Are you seriously
Sawing the Vindicators?
226
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,482
Morty, I'm a drunk,
not a hack.
227
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:20,251
If you break the rules,
lose the game or try to leave,
228
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,319
you will die.
229
00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:23,555
Like in "Sawwww."
230
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,090
Well,
I-I-I think we've seen enough,
231
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,469
I'll just figure out
how to unplug this.
232
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:28,126
Okay, here we go.
Room number one.
233
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,872
The Vindicators are known
throughout the galaxy,
234
00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:32,497
but do they know yourselves,
do you know yourselves?
235
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:35,367
Match your... your shit,
your... your gimmicks,
236
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:38,603
with your faces, and y-you get
it, it's a matching thing.
237
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:42,407
And do it in three minutes
or you'll all die.
238
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,288
Screw this.
I'm not playing his game.
239
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,656
I'm gonna find us
a way out of here.
240
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,079
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on, Vance.
241
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,559
He said you'd die
if you tried to leave.
242
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:50,982
That means
there's booby traps.
243
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:53,351
Why are you acting
like that's not you?
244
00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:54,931
What part of "blackout"
don't you understand?
245
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,187
I thought you drank.
246
00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:58,857
Like cool drinking!
Like sexy drinking,
247
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,092
not this psycho,
trailer-park shit!
248
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,961
Vance, stay calm...
249
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,874
Oh, so you're the leader now,
because we gave you a jacket?
250
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,298
You're the learning-disabled kid
we do photo ops with.
251
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,067
Okay, ouch, but...
Okay, this...
252
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:12,103
This is triggering me.
I need space.
253
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:15,974
I-I need space from this!
254
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:40,365
Give me one reason
255
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,333
why I shouldn't crush
your windpipe.
256
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:45,403
Because my epidermis is laced
with a nanofiber defense mesh...
257
00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:47,706
And because, like I said,
I don't remember last night.
258
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,341
I told you not to invite this
mummified mother[bleep] back.
259
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,021
Alan, I'm not proud
of what's happening here,
260
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,445
but if you
keep coming at me,
261
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,024
there's gonna be another
passenger on that ghost train.
262
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:58,049
Guys! I figured it out.
263
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,652
- Congrats!
- You did it it!
264
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:04,089
It was a bit. All of the
descriptors apply to all of you.
265
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,590
Drunk Rick's point
266
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,103
is that none of you
are very special or different.
267
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,160
That's always his point.
268
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:11,262
Let's just get through this
as quickly as possible.
269
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,264
Then we'll deal
with the two of you.
270
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,067
The two of us?
I hope you're proud of yourself.
271
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,269
Uh, I kind of am. I saved
the God damn universe.
272
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,604
That's not the issue,
Rick!
273
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:22,173
Ahh, it would've been
if I hadn't!
274
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,575
The Vindicators say their job
275
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,543
is to fight evil
wherever it hides,
276
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:28,546
but they don't...
Pick the location you'll...
277
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:31,416
You'll never hear them
even mention,
278
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:34,552
because to fight darkness
is to fight yourself.
279
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,554
Oh! I know this.
Dorian 5!
280
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,722
Crocubot, don't!
281
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,225
There's no other
possible answer.
282
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:43,628
My mechanical and reptilian
logic are certain of it.
283
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,163
Oh!
284
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,298
Huh! I'm seeing more croc
than bot here.
285
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,666
God damn it!
286
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:50,602
Uh, what happened on Dorian 5?
Nothing!
287
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:54,339
Nothing? We exterminated
a planet.
288
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:55,673
W-Wait. Huh?
289
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:58,443
Doomnomitron was hiding there!
He's a shapeshifter.
290
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,479
Destroying Dorian 5
was the only way to kill him.
291
00:13:01,515 --> 00:13:03,047
Come on, guys,
we're all thinking it.
292
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,249
Don't...
293
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,284
Don't make me say it.
294
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:06,718
Oh, okay. This again.
295
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:09,020
You know,
I could have made you a device
296
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,723
to detect Doomnomitron from
orbit like that.
297
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:14,626
I'm not the one that
didn't want you back. Alan was.
298
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:18,229
If you lay those deaths
at my doorstep one more time...
299
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,398
Do not threaten her.
300
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,734
Congrats, you did it.
301
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,769
What the hell
is "Israel"?
302
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,738
It-It's just something
Rick starts talking about
303
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,072
when he's blackout drunk.
304
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,340
W-What?
In w... In w-w-what?
305
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:31,342
Like,
w-w-what's my point?
306
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,211
In a way
that has no point,
307
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,490
you just babble about defense
budgets and the United Nations
308
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:35,780
and then you pass out.
309
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,449
So, to be clear,
I sometimes reference
310
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:41,486
the geopolitical complexities
of the topic...
311
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,788
Which is not the same as going
to an anti-Semitic place.
312
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,523
I have not stake
in this...
313
00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:47,403
I don't either, I'm...
I'm just saying, if anything,
314
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,472
the drunk version of me is
probably so supportive of Israel
315
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,807
he wants what's best for it
and...
316
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:54,399
Hey, man, I'm not touching this.
You do you.
317
00:13:56,803 --> 00:14:00,271
Aloha... means hello
and goodbye in Hawaii.
318
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:03,675
But, uh, aloha means...
319
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,510
Has nothing to do
with this room.
320
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:08,112
I'm so [bleep] drunk.
321
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:09,547
Ugh, okay.
Here's the deal.
322
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:11,382
I-I want to rest my eyes
for a little bit,
323
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:12,784
I'm...
I'm not going to sleep,
324
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,586
I just... just need
to rest my eyes,
325
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,421
so let's make this one
simple...
326
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,423
Just... try to hit
some three pointers.
327
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:21,226
Let's say... you have to
hit... five three pointers
328
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,261
in... five minutes... or...
I don't know,
329
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,241
the whole place... the
whole planet will get blown up
330
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,065
with a n-neutrino bomb.
331
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,300
And try to make it a-a lesson
about... yourselves,
332
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:31,102
like... like
how selfish you are...
333
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,337
Are or something.
334
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,239
And also Hawaii.
335
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,740
You guys hit the baskets,
336
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,376
I'll disarm the
drunkenly-improvised neutrino bomb.
337
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,378
There's a 40 percent chance
it's a dud,
338
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,180
but y-you should still
stay back.
339
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,226
Morty, how many of these...
340
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,749
Too many, Rick! Too many!
341
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:48,219
Man, I am really getting
high-roaded today.
342
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,590
That's a three pointer.
343
00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:54,325
Nice shot.
Thank you.
344
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,227
You two
make quite a team.
345
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,162
We all do.
346
00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,364
Yeah, I guess...
347
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,798
That's a three pointer.
348
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:05,069
But you guys have always had
a... an unspoken bond.
349
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,805
I mean, really unspoken.
350
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:11,609
Like, let's-not-tell-my-husband
unspoken.
351
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,147
We aren't married anymore,
Alan.
352
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,782
Sure, but were we married
353
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:21,819
when you two were "stranded"
on Delphi Six for three days?
354
00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:26,457
Because I sensed something
was weird when you came back...
355
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,693
But what do I know
about sensitivity?
356
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,862
I'm just
a phantom train conductor.
357
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:34,232
You're the pile of ordinary bugs
that [bleep] my wife!
358
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,668
That's a three pointer.
359
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,269
Where the [bleep]
is the lead wire?
360
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,815
You always put it
in the weirdest place.
361
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,239
Um, uh,
over here maybe?
362
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,718
Jesus Christ,
what a shitty neutrino bomb.
363
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,642
It's a miracle I ever
actually destroy anything.
364
00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:46,210
Oh, I don't know,
365
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,556
you managed to destroy
just about everything today.
366
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,913
The villains, the heroes,
367
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,581
the lines between them,
my childhood...
368
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,283
Thank yeewwwwww.
I appreciate it, Morty,
369
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:53,696
I know you were sucking
the Kool-Aid
370
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,186
out of
the Vindicators' [bleep]
371
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:56,632
So the fact that I was right
about them
372
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:58,156
must be pretty hard
to admit.
373
00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,590
Yeah, it is.
You know why, Rick?
374
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,858
Because
when you're an asshole,
375
00:16:00,894 --> 00:16:02,460
it doesn't matter
how right you are,
376
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,228
nobody wants to give you
the satisfaction.
377
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,431
I know. Everyone wants people
they like to be right.
378
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,433
That's why popular people
are [bleep] dumb.
379
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,234
And why your pretentious,
poorly-written,
380
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:11,536
high-budget friends
back there
381
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,237
can eat a double-decker
shit sandwich.
382
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,572
Disarmed.
383
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,874
Holy shit.
You're jealous.
384
00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:18,843
Yes! Is that
what you want to hear?!
385
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,345
Did it feel good?
386
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,814
Did you like his six million
wriggling legs
387
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,749
more than
my tragedy-stricken,
388
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:27,618
half-ghost, half-tumescent penis?!
Guys, stop!
389
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,321
You're just proving
my asshole grandpa right!
390
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:33,458
You wish this was about sex!
We loved each other!
391
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,626
We had a child together!
What?!
392
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:39,564
I conceived a child with Million
Ants and it died inside me
393
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:43,701
because it was half a million
ants and half collapsing star!
394
00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:47,638
And yes.
He was better than you.
395
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:48,773
Yeah?
396
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,508
One... million...
times... better.
397
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:53,644
All aboard, mother[bleep]
398
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,446
Stop!
399
00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:00,418
Oof!
Didn't see that coming.
400
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:01,819
Is that sarcasm?
401
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,955
I don't want you slipping away
when this is over.
402
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,757
All of these deaths
are on your hands.
403
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,392
Okay, come on,
maybe a couple of them,
404
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:08,671
but definitely
not the Train Guy.
405
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:09,695
Oof! All of them.
406
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,195
Oookay.
407
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,631
Congrats. You did it.
408
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:17,268
All right, by now,
I've been pretty clear
409
00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:19,604
that I think the Vindicators
are full of shit.
410
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,473
But... you do have one thing
that I'll never have.
411
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,320
And that thing is the only part
of the Vindicators
412
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,877
with any value to me.
413
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,546
If you know what it is,
place it on the platform.
414
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,715
Guess wrong
and pla-planet will explode.
415
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,550
And probably the solar system,
416
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:34,263
'cause I kind of [bleep]
eyeballed the neutrino bombs
417
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,920
on this one.
418
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:39,557
So what's the trick? Morty,
you're the Drunk Rick expert.
419
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:43,628
I think... no matter
what we put on there, we die.
420
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:46,230
He said it's the part
of the Vindicators he values.
421
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:47,365
That means nothing.
422
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,699
He wants
our last moment alive
423
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,446
to be spent knowing
how few [bleep] he gave.
424
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:53,004
Jesus! Okay,
open to second opinions.
425
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:54,539
It could...
It could be Morty.
426
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:55,807
What?
Hey, I don't know.
427
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,408
I mean, look,
when I get drunk,
428
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,644
I get stupid and emotional
and there's no logic to it.
429
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,879
It's, like,
it's possible I got so drunk
430
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:04,549
I felt like I was losing Morty
to the Vindicators,
431
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,717
and maybe this is
my way of saying, "Okay",
432
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,287
you can have him but only if
you know how important he is,
433
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,455
"otherwise I'll kill you."
434
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,990
That is a...
really specific guess.
435
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:15,693
Look, I-I... there's
nothing in the room but us.
436
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,595
I'm just using logic
to connect some dots,
437
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:18,896
it's the best guess
I've got.
438
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,032
But you're betting our lives
on it.
439
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,534
I'll cover that bet.
I get it.
440
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,536
Well, Morty, I think
you're doing that smirky face
441
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,305
because you're misinterpreting
the moment.
442
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,507
I am not being coy
about some hidden love for you.
443
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,009
I want to be really clear that
if anyone has a better guess,
444
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:34,412
like, if I gave you
an amulet last night, or...
445
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,415
Phew.
446
00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:40,084
Oh, shit.
447
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:45,323
Sorry. I'm... not good
at goodbyes,
448
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,859
and... I'm drunk,
so, you know, I just...
449
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,328
It looks like I'm never
going to see you again.
450
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,396
I can't really roll
with the hero types.
451
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,732
And I don't... they...
They don't want me around.
452
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:58,035
But I want you to know, even if
I didn't show it at the time,
453
00:18:58,071 --> 00:19:00,738
I really appreciated
you sticking by me.
454
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:04,675
God damn it, why am I crying?
It makes no sense.
455
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,477
Ugh, you're...
You're probably confused
456
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:07,945
because we barely
knew each other,
457
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,780
but you really
stuck your neck out
458
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:10,926
when you gave me props
for my awesome jokes
459
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,750
in the briefing room.
460
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,353
Everybody else had their head
so far up their ass.
461
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:16,888
Even my own grandson is like,
462
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,856
"Oh, the Vindicators,
they're so cool."
463
00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:21,993
I mean, he's a moron,
that's their demographic.
464
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:23,628
But you're different,
Noob Noob.
465
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,530
Mother [bleep]
466
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,865
You're [bleep] cool.
And you're smart.
467
00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:30,468
And I bet
we coulda hung out and shit.
468
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,703
And I hope you get to be
a full-fledged Vindicator
469
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,472
and... and do...
Do me a favor,
470
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,607
don't... don't let them know
I-I got emotional.
471
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,476
But you can tell them
one thing.
472
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,411
Tell them I said...
473
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:43,948
Oh [bleep] Okay. I just
shit myself. Okay, later.
474
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:51,455
W... Dude, Morty, what
happened... Shut up.
475
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,560
I sense this means
we are not dying.
476
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:56,861
Not all of us.
477
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,429
Sweetheart.
478
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:00,131
Just let Titty Bean do this,
Snuzzles.
479
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,465
It's for the greater good.
480
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:02,500
Greater good?
Titty Bean?
481
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,035
It's like you said, Morty.
482
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,170
There's no right or wrong...
Never said that.
483
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:09,106
It's the galaxy's faith
in the Vindicators
484
00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:11,442
that keeps
the galaxy secure.
485
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:12,843
Yeah,
I feel safer already.
486
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,946
No doubt, who do we make
the check out to?
487
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,948
I will say we are getting
some good licks in
488
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,616
while choking to death...
Right?
489
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,184
Titty Bean.
Listen to me.
490
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:21,552
When you came to me,
491
00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:23,821
I was merely
a sentient colony of ants.
492
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:27,091
It was your beliefs,
your pursuit of justice...
493
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:28,859
that taught me
to be a man.
494
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,896
When did it get
so complicated?
495
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:34,599
Who knows.
But we can make it simple again.
496
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,534
You were always
the romantic.
497
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,636
Which is why you can't leave,
either.
498
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:44,609
I'm sorry, my love.
499
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:47,245
Damn! She double-crossed
Snuzzles!
500
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,147
Silence!
I'm going to enjoy this...
501
00:20:50,183 --> 00:20:52,984
Let's
give a huge thanks to Rick Sanchez
502
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:55,264
for killing Worldender, putting
this awesome party together,
503
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:58,723
and for booking one of
the hottest talents out there...
504
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:02,526
- Logic!
- Awe, yeah.
505
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:03,861
Look at that.
It's going down.
506
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,529
Geez, I must have planned
a whole party.
507
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,176
- It's Logic, y'all.
- Invited a bunch of people.
508
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,677
- Not bad, Drunk Rick, not bad.
- Shout out to my boy, Rick.
509
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:10,568
Are you ready?
510
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,648
♪ There's a choo-choo train man,
he's rolling down tragedy ♪
511
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:14,605
♪ Everybody knowing Supernova
fights gravity ♪
512
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:17,074
Rick, Supernova's getting away.
Eh, who cares?
513
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,809
But... she was trying
to kill us.
514
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,489
Morty, 20 people
try to kill me every week.
515
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,857
I end up getting high
with half of them.
516
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,848
I mean, check it out,
Gearhead's here.
517
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:25,216
♪ There's this dude
Million Ants ♪
518
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:26,729
Hmm. Well, that's gonna shoot
through me.
519
00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:28,686
Morty, you're wearing
a Vindicator jacket.
520
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:30,588
Are you a little superhero
now?
521
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,556
Everyone in the universe
is a hero, Mom.
522
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:33,936
Which is why
we don't need jackets.
523
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,760
And I'm pretty sure
we don't need Vindicators.
524
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,662
Don't mind if I do.
525
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:40,097
Hey, everybody!
Look who's a Vindicator!
526
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:43,734
Man, Grandpa Rick must have gotten
shitfaced. Shut up, Summer.
527
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:46,181
♪ Can't forget about the one who
never seems to get a chance ♪
528
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:48,139
Noob Noob! ♪ All the
bitches come around for ♪
529
00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:50,641
Noob Noob! ♪ His dick
gets more visits than ♪
530
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,810
♪ YouTube Who the
[bleep] is Noob Noob?
531
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:55,313
Noob Noob! ♪ Say,
everybody, everybody is ♪
532
00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:57,181
Yo, it's Logic once again,
y'all.
533
00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:58,649
Don't forget the name.
534
00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:00,017
Make sure you get home safe.
535
00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:01,664
And, man, we gotta all
give it up for Rick,
536
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:03,232
'cause, I mean,
what kind of mother
537
00:22:03,256 --> 00:22:05,756
Just sets up
a whole festival like this
538
00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:07,792
when he's completely loaded,
man?
539
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:11,228
And all that stuff I said about
Vance, that's not real.
540
00:22:11,264 --> 00:22:14,298
Vance that guy,
that guy sucks
541
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:17,034
Whoo!
542
00:22:17,070 --> 00:22:18,869
Yeah!
543
00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:21,038
Yo...
544
00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:24,241
D-Did I get paid yet?
Whoo!
545
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:29,080
I can't believe we're getting
Gear Cream with a Vindicator.
546
00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:33,184
So, you girls in Gear college
or Gear...
547
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:35,686
Alien terror attack!
548
00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:39,857
Okay. Sounds like
a job for... me.
549
00:22:39,892 --> 00:22:43,160
I better go
get into my alter ego.
550
00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:45,062
So cool.
I know.
551
00:22:45,098 --> 00:22:46,997
Wait, what alter ego?
552
00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:48,799
He was already wearing
the jacket.
553
00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:52,636
Gotta know when to hold 'em
and...
554
00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:53,672
Aaaaah!
555
00:22:57,110 --> 00:22:58,409
Did you get any of that?
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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