All language subtitles for Cruel.Intentions.2.2000.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

Sebastian, Sebastian,
stop pouting.

Sorry. I'm such a dope.

You are not a dope.
You're just misguided.

All the reports from your
teachers say the same thing,

"Sebastian would make an
exceptional student if only he
would follow orders."

I can't believe you fed the
school hamster an overdose of
Viagra.

I was testing the reproductive
system for a science
experiment.

-I wanted to see how big...
-Enough! Enough!

Fortunately for you,
you are moving to a new town.

You will have a chance to
start anew. It's time to
shape up.

Speaking of shaping up,
how's Mrs. Freeman doing?

I see she's lost some weight.

-She looks good.
-Thank you.

I gotta tell ya,
it's a really great thing

she's doing for the
community, censoring books
and all.

That Catcher in the Rye novel
really screwed me up.

Mrs. Freeman knows
what's best for young minds.

Which comes to my point.

I was wondering what you
planned on doing with my file?

It's not very favorable...

And you'd prefer if I didn't
forward it to your new school.

I've thought long and hard
about it,

and I've decided to send it.

I mean, if you've really
changed, you'll rise above
your past mistakes.

How can I ever thank you, sir?

Well, you have got a plane to
catch, and I have got some
work to do.

So...

So, you just remember,
Sebastian.

The future is
what you make of it.

The future is what I make of
it. The future is what I make
of it.

Got it.

I'll never forget you, sir.

Yeah, yeah, right, right.

Pansy.

Ed Freeman.

What the fuck have you done
to me, you fucking asshole?

What's wrong, pumpkin?

Have you seen my picture
in the school yearbook?

Uh, yes, you look wonderful.

Wonderful?

I'm naked, you fucking idiot!

Fuck.

I'm the laughingstock of the
community. How could you have
let this happen?

You weasely little piece of
shit! You'll pay for this!

Ed, I hate you!

Asshole!

MR. FREEDMAN:
Sebastian, Sebastian

Sebastian, Sebastian!

Don't think you are gonna
get away with this stunt.

-So where you heading?
-New York City.

-And I'm sending your file!
-For you.

-Thanks.
-You are finished!

Sebastian, Sebastian.

Bye-bye.

-Sebastian Valmont?
-Yeah.

I'll take care of the driving,
sir.
Your family's expecting you.

Which apartment?

The whole building, sir.

Of course.
What was I thinking?

Oh, my God!

Sebastian Valmont
to see you, sir.

-Ah, good to see you again,
son.
-Good to see you, too, Dad.

How's your mother?

Oh, Dr. Rappaport thinks she's
gonna be in rehab for the long
haul.

Thanks for taking me in. You
know, foster homes just aren't
my thing.

Think nothing of it.

Man, you really hit the mother
load this time, Pops.

Sebastian, I would like you to
meet the love of my life.

This is Tiffany.

Well, it's a pleasure
to finally meet you.

I see you have your father's
beautiful blue eyes.

Thank you.

My, what a precious little
kitty you have.

Would you like to pet her?

Some other time.
Sebastian, come meet Kathryn.

I've heard so much about you.
Welcome to the family.

I've always wanted a brother,
but they were sold out of them
at Bloomingdale's.

-Is that a real Steinway?
-I wouldn't play anything
else.

-May I?
-Be my guest.

Kathryn is an exquisite
pianist, Sebastian.

Really?

(PLAYS CHOPSTICKS )

Cute.

(PLAYS FLIGHT OF THE
BUMBLEBEE )

I think it needs a tuning.

Mother, Sebastian must be
famished.
Shouldn't we check on dinner?

I think that's a wonderful
idea.

I'm so excited you'll be
starting Manchester with me
tomorrow. Sebastian.

It's a wonderful institution
with wonderful teachers.

Wonderful.

Kathryn is president
of the student body.

Let's not forget president
of the French Club.

Oui.

I live for extracurricular
activities.

Student body president?
I thought you were a
sophomore.

I am. I believe one should not
be hampered in achieving
one's goals

simply by the paltriness
of one's years.

-You mean "dearth."
-Excuse me.

Well, paltriness
implies insignificance,

but really it's your lack
of age that shouldn't
hamper you

from achieving your goals.

Careful with those SAT words.
They can be deadly.

Thank you.

Isn't Kathryn just the best,
son?

-Yeah, she's a real peach,
Dad.
-I love you, Step daddy.

Uh...I'm a little tired from
all the travel.
Do you mind if I turn in?

Not at all. I know you have
a big day ahead of you
tomorrow.

I'll show you to your room.

Hey, you little asshole.
What do you think you're
doing?

-I was not...What?
-You hear me?
Get down there!

Do not fuck with me.

So...

he outdoes you at piano,
he outdoes you at vocabulary.

I guess I overestimated you.

And don't sulk.
It's a sign of weakness.

Yes, Mother.

No, everything's fine.
I was just checking up on
you, Mom.

Look, I promised
I'd take care of you, right?

Well, I'm gonna talk to Dad
and get you into a better
facility.

It's the least he can do.

I love you too.

-What the...
-Let's get something straight!

I may not have fooled you,
but I've got a great thing
going with the rentals.

I don't have a curfew,
they never bother me
about my homework

and I've got a five-figure
allowance.

No one, and I mean no one,
is about to threaten
my cushy lifestyle,

especially not some
two-bit hick loser.

-But...
-I don't wanna hear it.

Now, as for school,
you stay out of my face

and we'll get along just
fine, but if you cross me
once,

I'll bury your sorry ass,
understood?

All right. I'm glad we could
have this little discussion.

Hmm. Not bad.

-What's the matter?
-This collar's too tight.

Oh, I guess you're only used
to wearing mesh shirts where
you come from.

More SAT vocabulary builders?

For your information,
this happens to be my
orientation speech.

Who are you orienting?

Please, be more stupid.

I am the student body
president.

Ivy League schools eat this
extracurricular crap up for
supper.

You do know
what an Ivy League school is?

Stop!

Gordon Anderson, looking good.

Do me a favor.
Pretend you don't know me.

My God, you're beautiful.

-Excuse me?
-Oh, I said you were
beautiful.

Thank you.

Excuse me, but what did you
mean by that remark?

-What remark?
-That I'm beautiful.

-Well, aren't you?
-Well, yeah.

I mean, no, no, but...

Never mind.

You're very strange.

I know.

Are you here to see
the headmaster?

Yeah.
I heard he's a total joke.

I wouldn't know.

The headmaster
will see you now.

I must say that in all my
years in education,

I have never seen a file
quite like this.

A 4.0 GPA,
president of several clubs.

All-star snowboarding
for your county.

As well as several glowing
letters from your teachers,

including your former
principal.

We were very close,
he and I, sir.

-Yes, it's most impressive.
-Thank you.

Perhaps a little too
impressive.

Thank you.

That aside, I'm sure an
enterprising young man like
yourself

would be a welcome addition
here at Manchester.

Thank you, sir.

(KNOCKING AT THE DOOR)
Come in.

You had a few grammaticals,
but nothing reprehensible.

Thank you, honey.

Sebastian, I'd like you to
meet my daughter, Danielle.

You're both in the same class.

You look familiar.
Have we met?

No, I don't think so.

Are you sure?

Must've been someone else.
Well, I'd better get going.

It was very nice meeting you,
sir. Ma'am.

-Good luck, Sebastian.
-Thank you, sir.

-Seems like a nice kid. Don't
you think?
-We'll see.

* With our alma mater
we will grow

* Hail to thee

* O stars of pride

* Hail to thee

* Manchester

Be seated.

We will now hear from
your new student body
president,

Kathryn Merteuil.

Fellow students, faculty,
administrators and
custodians.

I would personally
like to welcome
each and every one of you

to what I think will be
Manchester's proudest year.

She is such an inspiration.

I consider each and
every one of you

members of my
Manchester Prep family.

With that said, I feel it is
our responsibility

(HICCUPPING)

to reach out and accept
all new students

(HICCUPPING)

as members of...

And accept all new students
as...

(HICCUPPING)

(CHUCKLING)

-Settle down, people.
-Please.

As I was saying, I consider
each and...

(HICCUPPING)

members of my
Manchester Prep...
Are you all right?

Sorry.
It happens when I get nervous.

Guess I just need
a bubble gum fix.

Keep going.
You're doing great.

Thanks

Once again, as I was saying,

I consider each and every one
of you members...
(GUM POPPING)

of my Manchester Prep family.
(CHOCKING)

With that said, I feel that it
is our responsibility to reach
(CHOCKING)

and accept all new students...

Somebody!
Somebody do something!

Somebody call 9-1-1 or
something.

Good going, Danielle.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)

CROWD CHANTING:
Danielle, Danielle!

Bravo!

Terrific.

Right. Sparing me the
Cliff Notes synopsis,

who can tell me what this
means?

Mr. Winkler.

Jekyll was a doctor,

and he developed this potion
that transformed him into

Edward Hyde, his evil side.

My gosh, did that answer suck.

Now come on,
I know you've got it in you.

What themes can be discussed
here?

Miss Sherman.

I think Stevenson is talking
about the duality of man.

Man has both good and evil in
him.

If man cannot suppress
his evil instincts,
he is inevitably doomed.

-Wrong!
-Care to elaborate on that?

Nowhere in the novel does
Stevenson
mention good over evil.

In fact, it's just the
opposite.

Jekyll loved Hyde so much
that he protected him from
the world.

He protected Hyde
so he wouldn't hurt people.

Please.
He loved hurting people.

-Then why does Jekyll kill
himself?
-Where does it say that?

-The end! Mr. Utterson found
his body.
-Utterson was idiotic.

-Your point is idiotic.
-All right, all right.

Break it up, you two.

Wow!
Am I losing my mind

or did we just witness an
intellectual debate in this
classroom?

Although I disagree
with your conclusions,
Mr. Valmont,

I do appreciate
your warped point of view.

As for you, Miss Sherman,

I think you could be a little
more tolerant of other
people's opinions.

Hey, fellas, welcome back.
Hey, Rene, good to see you.

Assistant Headmaster Mueller!

Assistant Headmaster Mueller!

Steve.

I thought I told you
not to call me by my first
name.

-We need to talk.
-Later. I'm busy right now.

Ouch!

-Stop that.
-I said, we need to talk.

What is it?

Do you see something wrong?
I have gym.

You know I loathe gym.
We Merteuils do not like to
perspire.

What is this "we Merteuils"
nonsense? You're a student.
Try acting like one.

-Excuse me?
-Look, Kathryn, rules are
rules.

-I'm sorry, but you're going
to gym.
-I understand.

-You do?
-Yes.

But it's a bit strange

'cause...isn't it against the
rules for someone of your age
to seduce a minor

like you did to me
this summer in the Hamptons?

Now you know that's not
entirely true.
It was you who seduced me.

You know, you're right.

It was me who seduced you.

But then again, who will the
school board believe?

It's my word against yours.

Think about it, Steve.
Something like this could ruin
your career,

not to mention your marriage.

But I guess if you can bend
the rules a little,
then so can I.

-I'll see what I can do.
-You're the best.

This meeting of the
Manchester Tribunal
will now come to order.

-Kathryn Merteuil presiding.
-Thank you, Blaine.

Fellow students of affluence
and popularity,

I welcome you to this year's
first meeting of the
Manchester Tribunal.

As your new leader,
I promise to do my best

to weed out the geeks,
losers and underprivileged,

and toss their fat asses
out of our school.

-Here's the latest shipment,
Mrs. Gagin.
-Thank you.

Could you re-shelf
these for me? Thanks.

-My God! A cartoon cock?
-Hi.

-Are you all right?
-You scared me to death.

-You dropped this.
-I didn't drop it.

Yes, you did,
but it's all right.

Sexual curiosity is
nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm not ashamed, and I have
a very healthy sexual
curiosity.

Really?

-So what are you doing here?
-I work here.

Do you think you can take a
15-minute break and join me
for a cup of coffee?

I'd love to, but
unfortunately I have a lot of
work to do around here.

Mrs. Gagin, do you mind if
Danielle joins me for a coffee
break?

Please, go right ahead.
There's nothing to do right
now.

-Thank you.
-You don't quit, do you?

Whatever happened to "be nice
to the new kid in school"?

Fifteen minutes.

Go.

Next.

Michael Keen, freshman.
Former BMOC of his junior
high school.

Don't let his bad acne
dissuade you, though.
His father owns the Coliseum.

Let's get him a facial

and see if he can score
front-row tickets to the
Hole concert. Next.

Sebastian Valmont, sophomore.
Son of Edward and Corrine.

-Go on.
-I can't.

He's a transfer student, and I
don't have anymore
information on him yet.

Don't you know anything else
about him?
He is your stepbrother.

I've only known him for a day.
He's a total loser.

I mean, he shops at the Gap.

-Ew!
-Ew!

Stay on him and see
what you can find out.

-Will do.
-Next.

(SCREAMING)

Cherie Clayman, freshman.

Daughter of Hubert and Bunny.
Annual family income...

Well?

$850 million.

-She's richer than Kathryn.
-I heard that.

She has a GPA of 1.3,
and not only is she a
virgin but...

She's never even kissed
a boy before.

Okay, this girl is
a walking Teletubby

just begging to be made
an example of.

I think I'll oversee
this one personally.

When I get through with her,
she will be the premiere slut
at Manchester Prep.

Next order of business,
grievances. Yes, Lauren?

Well, it appears we're having
a bit of trouble with the new
school chef.

Mr. Washington seems to think
that sushi

is an inappropriate meal
for growing girls and boys.

All those in favor of sending
Mr. Washington

back to his hot dog stand,
say aye.

-Aye!
-Aye.

Okay, bye-bye, Mr. Washington.
Hello, Mr. Yakamoto.

So, what's a nice girl like
you doing at a snobbish school
like Manchester?

It's called free tuition.
Besides, it's not as bad as
it seems.

My dad took over the place
a year after my mom passed
away.

I'm sorry.

Your turn.

Okay. Folks split up ten years
ago. Mom has a drug problem.

And everyone thought
it would be best
if I moved in with my dad.

You get along with him?

I don't really know him.
He's on his fourth marriage.

-To Kathryn's mom?
-Yeah.

I know this is rude, but
what's it like growing up with
all that money?

Well, you know,
I'm only one day into it.

Sorry to disappoint you, my
dear, but Richie Rich I'm not.

And I thought I was
the only one at Manchester.

You ever get the feeling
you're being watched?

-Yours?
-Hers.

There you are, silly goose.
I've been looking all over
for you.

Hi, Danielle.
How's the used bookstore?

-Don't let her get to you.
-She doesn't.

Maybe it makes me uncool, but
I don't care what your
stepsister thinks of me.

Actually, I think
that makes you very cool.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

Well, I'd better get going.
I don't want her to make me
hitch a ride home.

-Thanks for coffee.
-Yeah. I'll call you later.

-But you don't have my number.
-Don't underestimate me.

Don't underestimate Kathryn.

-Let's go.
-See you.

Bye.

Nice first day, retard?

It was great! This uptight
bitch got gum stuck in her
hair.

Touche.

Hi.

Cherie, it's Kathryn, from
school. No, I don't hate you.

As a matter of fact,
I was just appointed
your big sister.

Can you come out tonight?
It's a school event. Great!

I'll pick you up at eight.
See you, sweetie.

You're going out with the
girl who spit gum in your
hair?

Keep your friends close
and your enemies closer.

Come on, Kathryn.
She's just a freshman.
Pick on someone your own size.

Like you?
In due time.

So, you have a thing
for boring virgins.

Danielle is a virgin,
you know?

Careful, Kathryn.
I'm better at this than you.

Ooh.
You actually have a backbone.

-Don't push me, Kathryn.
-Any time you want to start
a war.

I'll keep it under
consideration.

36:15. Yeah!

Good evening,
Master Sebastian.
How was your evening jaunt?

Not bad, Henry.
Not bad at all.
Where are the folks?

Dinner with a sheik.
Cook has your meal ready.

Will you be showering
before or after dinner, sir?

-I hadn't really thought
about it.
-Very well.

Anything I can do to make
your evening more relaxing,
just let me know.

Thanks, Henry.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

This way, sir.

Please make yourself
comfortable. Gunter has
prepared sweetbread mousse.

It's like dinner
at the Adams Family.

Auf Wiedersehen
(CHICKEN CLUCKING)
(CHOPPING SOUND)

Guys.

Hello? Anyone?

Yes, sir.
Is everything all right?

Henry, I think I'll get
something later,
go out or something.

Very well, sir.
If you need the car,
just let Frederick know.

Sure.

No, it's not like that at all.

-Well, of course, I miss you.
-You do?

We'll get together very soon.
I promise.

-Okay.
-What are you wearing?

(SEBASTIAN CLEARING
HIS THROAT)

-I have to go.
-Edward!

-I didn't hear you knock.
-I didn't.

-That was my accountant
on the phone.
-Wow!

You guys must have
a really tight relationship.

Now, look, son,
don't make me regret taking
you in.

Well, I see that old habits
die hard, or in your case,
don't die at all.

I'm your father,
and I demand to be
treated with some respect.

-A man has needs...
-Look, Dad, spare me the
melodrama.

But, a word of advice?

You got a pretty good thing
going here. I wouldn't screw
it up, if I were you.

You know, Sebastian, I really
like these father-son chats.

You're a real role model.

Would you sit the fuck down!

Thanks, Moose.

Shut up, losers.

One mineral water,
one iced tea.

This sure doesn't taste
like an iced tea.

It's from Long Island.
Here, have another.

-What's the latest, Kathryn?
-Me, as usual.

Court, I'd like you to meet
Cherie Clayman.

How's it going, Cherie?

Excuse me.

I think we should adjourn
to the ladies' room.

-But I don't have to go.
-I do.

So what do you need
my help for? Ow!

-Want some more?
-No.

-Back in a flash.
-Right.

-So how do you know
he likes me?
-I can see it in his eyes.

If you say so.
So what do I do about it?

You're gonna have to let him
fuck you.

But I've never even been
to first base with a guy.

Well, so we'll start with
first base and then
we'll move on.

-Okay.
-Okay.

-Ready?
-Ready.

-That was easy.
-Okay, we're gonna try this
again.

This time I want you
to close your eyes.

Court's gonna stick his
tongue in your mouth.

I want you to massage his
tongue with yours. Okay?

Ready.

You idiot!
These are $300 pants.

I'm sorry.

Oh, God!
Stupid bitch.

He hates me.

There, there. Shh.

-Hello?
-I told you not to
underestimate me.

-You're unbelievable.
-Thank you.

Oh, come on. The TV series
MASH was way better than the
movie.

-If you say so.
-I do.

What time is it?

-It's 10:30.
-We've been talking for over
an hour.

Whoo. Call the police.

Ha-ha. I should get going.
Homework.

Hey, listen, what are you up
to on Saturday?

I'm looking for a tour guide
to show me the sights.

Oh, I can't, I have plans.

Come on, you gotta rescue me
from my psycho stepsister.
At least a few hours.

Look, don't you think we
should take this slower?

You know, I don't really know
you and...

Take what slow?
I wasn't asking you on a
date.

-I just wanted to make a new
friend.
-I know, I wasn't...

-Man, are you conceited.
-No, I'm not conceited. It's
just...

I have to go.

Hello? Hello?

Always make an impression.

-Psycho stepsister?
-Evening.

Evening.
Oh, she shot you down.

Exactly the opposite.

So what's on the agenda?
Matinee of The Lion King ?

Man, you really have it
out for her, don't you?

It must really burn your ass
that with all your money and
popularity,

she still won't have anything
to do with you.

Face it, Kathryn,
she's outclassed you.

How dare you talk to me like
that, you son of a bitch?

Well, this has been fun.

Unfortunately, I have some
work to do, and you have to go
throw up.

After all,
it was a very big salad
you had for dinner.

-Have you been spying on me?
-Oh, my God, I ate a crouton!

We'll see who gets the last
laugh, brother dear.

Oh, no, I'm sorry!

It's all my fault. I wasn't
thinking. I'll get it.
I'll clean it up. Sorry.

It's okay. It's okay.

-Stop crying.
-Just don't tell anyone.

What is this, Ben Hur?
Do they beat you here?

Please don't tell anyone.

Min Lin, relax.

Christ, it's like
a fucking Godzilla movie.

(SHOWER STARTING)

You girls know the routine?

-Seduce.
-And destroy.

Shut up.

Mm, very nice.

Who the fuck are you?
And you?

I'm Sarah, and this is
Gretchen.

We had a sleep over at
Kathryn's, and we're running
a little late.

Do you mind if we share your
shower?

-Yeah. Yeah, be my guest.
-Thank you.

Ooh, pass me the Lufa.

Hey.

So, what year are you guys?

-We're seniors.
-Cool.

How do you like Manchester,
Sebastian?

It's

It's...it's unbelievably...

-Unbelievably what?
-Unbelievably hard.

-It certainly is.
-Rock hard. Down, boy.

So, you guys sisters?

More like kissing cousins.

Whoa!

Slippery when wet.

So, you're seeing Danielle
Sherman?

Who?

Oh, yeah, yeah, trying to.

-She's a sweet girl.
-You guys would make a great
couple.

Just too bad you're gonna
miss out on all the action.

-What action?
-Oh, come on.

With the exception of
Danielle, Manchester Prep's a
virtual whorehouse.

As the school motto goes,

"If you don't snort it,
suck it."

Careful.

He splurged.

But you won't have to worry
since you'll be dating the
headmaster's daughter.

No. Guess not.

-See you on campus.
-Ring toss.

Score.

Yes!

Thanks for, you know, sharing.

-Here, sis, I'll dry you off.
-Thanks.

Shit.

Breakfast was late,
my skirt is mussed,

and I needed the car last
night.

-I'm sorry, Miss Merteuil...
-No excuses!

Now, just because my mother is
out of town does not mean you
can slack off.

Each lapse, each oversight,
will be reported.

Good, you haven't left.

What's this?
Saddam addressing the troops?

-Allow me, sir.
-No, it's all right, Henry.

There, there, sir.
Pay close attention.
The perfect Windsor is an art.

-Rough night last night?
-There was a pea under my
mattress.

-I'll look into it, sir.
-No, Henry, it was great.
It was a ten.

Can we go now,
or do we send Kapoor
in our place?

I almost forgot.
Here are your allowances.

What's this?
Annual? Semiannual?

-Weekly, of course.
-This is amazing.

The leftovers, sir.
It's what I like to call
mad money.

Yeah, mad.

Unless you use it
to make someone happy.

For the Windsor and the
advice.

Thank you, sir.
Thank you very much.
Very kind.

Tutor me in French?
Tutor me in French?

Danielle! Oh, my gosh,
am I glad I found you?

Look, I am flunking French,
like tres flunking it.

-Last quiz, D-minus.
-Have you been studying?

Of course, I study like crazy,
but it just goes in one hole
and out the other.

-Well, I wish I could help
you.
-You can! You can tutor me.

Mom said I can pay you,
unless that's like too totally
insulting,

because, you know, we've got
money, and you're the
headmaster's daughter,

and headmasters make,
like, zilch.

Thanks.

Tutor me, please, please.
I'll pay you $200 an hour,
$200.

Stop. Of course I'll tutor
you. The money doesn't matter.

Going rate will be fine. God,
why does everything have to be
about money?

'Cause it's cool.

-Do you hear a phone?
-Yeah.

Oh, wait. Sounds like
it's coming from here.

-I don't have a phone.
-You do now. "Answer me."

Oh, my God, so cool.
Is it your birthday or
something?

-Hello?
-Do you like the phone?

I might, if it comes
with an explanation.

It does, actually.

I think I may have
real feelings for you.

-It's Sebastian Valmont,
isn't it?
-Just a second, okay?

-Sorry.
-Not you. Her.

-Who's her?
-Look, I can't do this from a
phone.

But it's a good phone.
Digital.

-Where are you? You can't be
too far.
-Look down.

Oh, it is Sebastian Valmont.

Don't move.
I'm coming down there.

-Move, Einstein.
-Hey!

Where are you?

-Close your eyes.
-Why?

-Just trust me.
Close your eyes.
-I'll look silly.

Close them now.

Sebastian.

Danielle, wait!

It's like they say,
the best laid plans
sometimes suck.

Miss Merteuil.

-But I'm excused from gym.
-Gym, yes. Ballet, no.

Well, there must be something
I can do to change your mind.

I think you've got
the wrong guy.
Now get your ass to ballet.

Mr. Erwick.

I was very clear. If anything
was going to continue
between us, you had to keep me

-out of gym...and ballet.
-I can't do anything,
all right?

Hargrove called me into his
office. He's suspicious, I
heard it in his voice.

-Why do you think that is?
-Well, I'm not sure.

The Disciplinary Committee,
of course.

You stuttered and stammered
like a completely
whipped fool,

and then when you voted, it
was obvious you voted the way
I wanted you to vote.

But that's how you did
want me to vote.
Oh, my God, I'm a mess.

You're always one step ahead
of me. I don't know what to do
anymore.

It's a dirty old man's
catch-22.

Shut up, Steve.
Get control of yourself.

I can't.
I'm falling apart.

My wife doesn't turn me on
anymore, my kids hate me.
I should just quit.

Stop blubbering.
I'll go back to gym and
ballet.

-You will?
-The excuse slips were just a
test.

The day will come
when I'll need you
for a favor...a big favor.

And you'll do it without
question. Capisce?

Of course.
I worship you, Kathryn.

Worship works best
on your knees, Steve.

Oh Kathryn.

Please be quiet. I'm trying to
imagine I'm with someone
attractive.

Sorry.

Hello!

Anybody!

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Oh, my God, she is terrible.

If it's so bad here,
why don't you guys just quit?

It's steady employment, sir.

This is a good address.
We could be down in the 50s!

Or worse, Scarsdale.

Oh!
Ladies there make me crazy!

All the time sending me to the
market looking for gifelta .

My father, fisherman for 20
years, he never caught one
gifelta.

What is a gifelta ?

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

-Three kings.
-Man!

-That beats my two pairs.
-I got crap.

Full house, jacks over threes.

You win again,
Master Sebastian.

You know, Henry, I really
wish you'd quit with the
"master" thing.

But sir, it's your title.
It shows privilege.

Yeah, well,
what has it gotten me?

I poured all my money into
gifts and didn't get the girl.

Danielle hates my wealth
or resents it or something.

Perhaps it's not my place
to speak, sir.

No, Henry, please.
I'm desperate here.

Well, maybe she doesn't want
to feel like she's
being bought.

-You think that's it?
-I don't know. Women are
complicated creatures, sir.

It's been my experience, sir,
that women are more interested

in the soul of a man
than in his trappings.

(CLEARING THROAT)

What is going on around here?

I had to ring and ring.
And where were you, Frederick?

I paged you four times.

I had to take a cab.
A cab!

I'm sorry, we were just...

Get out of here, all of you.

And you can be damned sure
my mother's gonna hear about
this.

-No, she won't.
-What did you say?

You're not telling anybody
about this.

This was my idea.
I ordered them to play cards.

And to drink Mother's
prized 1939 Neuf du Pape?

Great year.
Blitzkrieg, wasn't it?

Don't get smart.

Whether you realize it or
not, you are still a guest in
this house.

You know, you treat these
people like dirt. It's no
wonder they don't respect you.

We pay them for their service,
not their respect. Maybe
someday you'll learn that.

And one day you'll realize
that they're human beings.

Just give me a second here.

Party's over.

You know, I don't get it.

Look, if you hate your mother
so much,

why work so hard
to be just like her?

Is that what you think I'm
doing?

Well, you're obviously trying
to prove something to
someone.

No one's this mean, unless...

Unless there's a whole
bunch of pain and suffering
behind it.

You think you have it so
tough, having to come into
this strange house

with strange people.
Try growing up here.

Try spending every moment of
your life just making up for
just being here.

-That doesn't make any sense.
-No, it doesn't, does it?

You feel out of place,
Sebastian? You want to fit in?

Guess what. So do I.

(PHONE RINGING)

What a mess.

-Hello.
-Sebastian? It's Cherie.

News flash. Danielle is
totally, madly in love with
you.

Madly in love with me?
She hates me.

-Every move I make is the
wrong move.
-Yeah, but she told me stuff.

Every time she thinks about
you, every time she sees you,
she gets all moist.

Moist?

Her eyes.
She gets tears in them.

Oh.

But look, time's running out.
You gotta move now.

She'll be in the city tonight.
Dinner with her favorite aunt
at the Riverside Cafe.

I figure if you go there,
bare your soul.

No gifts though. She hates
that money thing. Hello?

Sebastian.
Hello!

Closet street performer.

Now you know all my secrets.

How did you know I was here?

Nope. Already know.
Cherie the blabbermouth.

Weird girl, but if you get
beyond all the "totallys" and
"oh, my Gods"

there's real truth there.

-I have to catch my train.
-Let me come with.

I'll make sure
you get home all right.

You can come as far as the
station and only if you can do
it without talking.

Not another word.
That's my condition.

Condition accepted.

(PLAYING VIOLIN BADLY)

All right, all right! Stop!
I give up, okay? We can talk.
Stop playing that thing.

You know, I think this is
the most romantic city
on earth.

Millions of strangers meeting
in restaurants, parks,
sidewalks.

A romance born every five
seconds, every heartbeat.

I mean, God,
is this a great city or what?

This is exactly what I'm
talking about. You spout BS on
a continuous basis.

Only because I can't say
what I really want to say.

-Say it!
-Okay.

I wanna know what happened
at school, in the courtyard.

I kissed you
and you just ran off.

I'm crazy about you!
I'm trying everything I can
to make you like me.

Be yourself. Be honest.
Why is that so difficult?

I don't know.
Maybe I'm scared.

You know, I'm new here, right?
New to this city.

New at school.

Living in a house full
of certifiable wackos,

and I don't have any friends.

At least any I can trust.

And I'm confused.

God's honest truth,
I'm in a state of perpetual
confusion.

So what are you scared of?

Missing my train.
See you at school. Bye.

As you know, your mother gets
home tonight.

And you want me to keep quiet
about the poker game.

I don't like these ideas
Sebastian's putting in your
head.

-I mean no disrespect.
-Well, I'm offended.

Leave.
I'll finish alone.

Min Lin, wait.

What do you say you and I get
to know each other, like you
did with Sebastian last night.

-Do I have to?
-Come on, it'll be fun.

Here.

I'll jump right in. Where are
you from? China, Japan?

Cambodia, actually.

Cambodia. Wonderful country.
And when did you come to our
United States?

My family fled through
Vietnam.

Ultimately, we were 120
crammed into a boat the size
of your pantry.

Oh, my gosh, that reminds me
of this time in Denver, we
were coming home from Aspen,

the first-class lounge
was packed.
We almost had to fly coach.

Anyway, so your family fled
the Khmer Rouge?

Nothing subtle
about that shade of rouge.

See?
We do have a lot in common.

Will there be anything else,
Miss Kathryn?

No, that's all.

I'm glad we did this,
aren't you?

Oh, yes.
Very enlightening.

(WHISPERING) Bitch.

You got all your pronouns
mixed up.

" Nous " is "we."
" Vous " is "you."

Unless it's someone
you're crazy, madly in love
with,

in which case it's " tu "
as in you and Sebastian.

I swear, that thing
with the phone, so cool.

I mean, if it had been
me and some guy

I would have piddled
right there on the spot.

Oh, wait,
did I show you my doodle?

-Excuse me?
-My doodle, my sketch.

Oh.

Wow. You've got some talent,
Cherie.

Just tell me, I mean, do you
really like him? Is this it?
Is it the real thing?

Like I even know what that is.

Knees go weak, mouth goes dry,

you get that little tingling
feeling in that special place.

He's just so slick,
so sure of himself.

I have a lot of trouble
trusting him.

He can't just come out and
talk to me, say what he's
really feeling.

And neither can I.

Okay, chapter three.

Read the translation
of the first passage.

"Love is a sublime melting pot
in which men and women are
fused together.

"The lover is a priest, the
ravished virgin a trembling
sacrifice."

A priest and a virgin?

Oh, that's sick!

Move. Move.

Move. Move.

-Hi, Mr. Nagao!
-Hello, ladies!

I make a special
eel and cuke roll today.

Mmm.

It's so sad about
Mr. Washington.

I mean, the fact that they
found a dead rat in that
student's sloppy Joe.

He'll never work again.

So, you never told us
how it went with Cherie.

-Did you bury her?
-Let's say she's on her way
to ruin.

CHERIE: Kathryn!

-Everything's set for this
weekend!
-What are you talking about?

Uh, duh. I told my mom how
much fun we had

and she invited you and your
mom over to our house
for nonfat lattes.

And your mom told my mom
you can sleep over.

I got the new Hanson album!
Okay, I gotta go.

Gordon Anderson promised he'd
show me his one-eyed snake,
whatever that is.

Okay, see you.

Wow, Kathryn,
you really showed her.

Don't talk. Don't say a word.

It's my turn to explain.

All I've done is hound you
about being honest,

when I couldn't do it myself.

That kiss in the courtyard,
Sebastian...it was more than
just a kiss.

-I'll say.
-No, let me finish.

You see...

It was my first kiss.

I wanted it to be perfect
and right and with the right
boy,

and while you might have been
the right boy, the rest was
totally not right.

-I embarrassed you.
-I embarrassed myself.

Because I know you're used to
girls with all this experience

and you've probably been
kissing girls forever,

and that's what I was
afraid to tell you.

Hey!

Hey. I happen to think
this is wonderful, all right?

So you weren't exactly
up-front and honest.
Join the club.

I wanted it to be perfect.

Not the tail end of some
prank.

Does that make any sense?

Yeah.

You know, some things can't
be orchestrated.

Some things have to be
spontaneous, like a kiss.

Like the kiss we're
about to have right now.

Say something, quick.

I can't.

I have to go. Last bell.

Okay, but...

Just back away, so I know
you're not running away.

That was wonderful.

Just precious.

How long were you there?

"I've never kissed a boy
before.
I mean, the right boy...

"And you've probably been
kissing girls forever."

You must feel like a terrible
dope, leading on that poor,
lovesick girl.

You don't know
what you're talking about.

Here's a prediction.
A few weeks of hand-holding
and chaste smooching

and you'll be so bored and
horny you'll mess the whole
thing up.

Of course, I could wipe her
off the map tomorrow,

but I think I'll let this
little romance just flicker
out all on its own.

I like the girl, okay?
I like her a lot.

Do anything to screw it up,
and I'll screw you up.

Nobody ever threatens me.

I just did.
Or weren't you listening?

-You do realize this means
war.
-Then war it is.

Lovely.

Well, I feel badly for you,
I really do,

but Byron needs to be groomed
every day at 3:00.

Well, you'll just have to
reschedule your daughter's
birthday.

Now, I want him saddled
and ready to ride when I
arrive.

Don't keep me waiting.
Idiot!

There's a new student at
Manchester. Cherie Clayman.

Did she die?

-I take it you don't like her.
-I can't stand her.

She's actually very sweet,
so I'm turning her into the
school slut.

-Well, she's now
your new best friend.
-Why?

Don't tell me you're hitting
up the Claymans for a donation
to Manchester.

Sorry, Mother. I think it's an
excellent idea.

-The Claymans will be joining
us at 7:00.
-You invited them here?

Mother, they're from
California.

Kathryn, I need this.

Just 20 million more and we
can break ground on the
Tiffany Merteuil Library.

(SEBASTIAN WHISTLES)

Well, you ladies seem to be
enjoying yourselves.

You must be tense, Sebastian.

Yeah, well, you'd be too
if you were failing gym.

I mean, who ever heard of
fencing as a sport?

Perhaps a massage would help.

I've never had a massage
before.

You can have my table.
I'm suddenly not in the mood.

Tack sa myckesh.
- Mycket , not "myckesh."

Kathryn, if you're not going
to say it correctly, don't say
it at all.

It just makes you look
foolish.

Thank you
for the correction, Mother.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

(GIGGLING)

I think I could get used
to this.

Hi.

Dead puppies, dead puppies,
dead puppies.

Old nuns in their underwear.

Oh!

I thought you'd left.

-Is that Sonja or Ingrid?
-It's Tiffany.

I hope you enjoyed your
massage.

I think I'll go take a shower.

We've had so little time
together, Sebastian.

We can't be a happy family if
we don't get to know each
other a little better.

You're right, Mom.
We should talk more, Mom.

With your father working on
the yacht so much, I'll have
plenty of time for you.

You know, some nights
he doesn't even come home.

He loves that yacht.

I'm glad he found something
he's so committed to.

Well, the right woman will
do that.

And you think I'm the right
woman?

Definitely.
He's a changed man.

Of course he's changed.

Without me he'd still be in
Miami giving charters to
geriatrics.

It's not the money, it's you.
He loves you.

You're a smart boy, Sebastian.
You seem to understand your
father very well.

I hope so.

So do I, because if you're
wrong, you're both going to
end up out on the street.

She spanked me.

MAN: Oh, baby.
Oh, that feels so good.

WOMAN: Oh, yeah, you like
that, huh?

-Dad, you here?
-MAN: Fuck! Fuck!

(MAN AND WOMAN WHISPERING)

Hey, son, how's it goin'?

-In bed already?
-Oh, it's just a catnap.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just looking for the
cat.

Here, puss, puss,
puss, puss, puss.

Sebastian, I hope you're not
suggesting I'm having
an affair.

-I'm not suggesting anything.
-I'm your father

and I will not be treated
like a criminal!

Criminal.

You could have fooled me.

And behind door number three
we have...

-Hello.
-Sebastian, I'd like you to
meet Lilly,

my first mate.

Lilly, I'm Sebastian,
Edward's son.

Oh, my God, you have your
father's eyes.
Are you a Libra?

Let's just cut right to the
chase, shall we?

He offered to sail you
around the world, didn't he?

How did you know?

Leave, right now,
or you're grounded for a week.

-Did he tell you he's married?
-I was going to tell you.

I was waiting for the
right time.

You lied to me?

More an error of omission.
You see, she's very sick.

I may be single any day now.

Go to hell!

Sebastian, you think you
could help me out here?

Okay, okay, I know we talked
about this,

but you're a man,
and you have to understand...

No. You have to understand.

It's not just your life
anymore, Dad, it's mine too.
Don't screw it up for me.

Absolutely. You can count on
me, son. The keys, please?

You know, you made your bed.
Now lie in it.

Sebastian.

Sebastian.

Sebastian.

Well, this sucks.

I can't believe I was so
stupid.

I really thought your dad
liked me.

It's not your fault.

He's the master of deceit. He
should be in the Pathological
Liars' Hall of Fame.

He was in the Hall of Fame?

-Never mind.
-Can I ask you something?

-Sure.
-Why are men such jerks?

I mean, is it genetic or
something?

You know, they promise you the
world, that you're the one for
them

and that their wives don't
understand them anymore.

And I fall for it every time.

I'm like a doormat. They're
always coming and going,

and coming and going,
and coming and...

My life sucks.

Lilly, you don't need a man
to be happy.

If you're not happy alone,
you're not gonna be happy with
someone else.

You're a very attractive
woman. You could have anyone
you want.

You just have to wait for the
right guy to come along.

-You think I'm attractive?
-I think you're beautiful.

You're so sincere.

You're not like your father
at all.

Okay. Glad you were
paying attention.

Do you wanna
come back to my place?

I'd love to, but I have
an oral report due in the
morning.

Oh, I'm great at orals.

-Yeah.
-Try me.

No, thank you.

Listen, I'm gonna split.
Are you gonna be okay?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Psycho.

Oh, Seb...astian...

BUNNY: I lived in Fresno
my whole life. Les too.

But we wanted more for
Cherie, so when Les sold the
biz,

we decided to move
to the Big Apple.

And how are you finding
Manchester?

Oh, it's no problem.
Our driver, he takes me
right there.

She's asking you
if you like it, honey.

Oh, yeah, it's the best.
And Kathryn's been, like,
so super nice.

You know, some girls, they
told me to stay away from her

like she had
permanent PMS or something.

Ew, gross! But she's been,
like, totally awesome!

I can tell she's going to be
very popular.

-Oh, I won't be as popular
as you.
-"Popular" is such a bore,

the important thing is school
spirit, and nobody has as much
as my mother.

I do a little work for the
school fund-raising committee.

You are so modest.

Mother's already raised half
the money needed for the new
school library.

How much money have you
raised?

Well, she barely has to do
anything. The parents
practically throw it at her.

-Kathryn...
-Why do they throw money
at you?

Because charity is smiled
upon by the ladies who lunch.

Society, Cherie.
You know, the social ladder?

Oh, yeah. My mom said
now that we're rich

we gotta start climbing that
thing.

-Ow! What?
-Isn't she precious?

-Would you excuse me?
Pardon me.
-Certainly.

So, how much money do
you need?

Oh, I didn't invite you over
here to discuss fund-raising,
Bunny.

But if you'd care to make a
donation, we'd certainly
consider it.

Really? Why, thank you.

My pleasure.

Oh, hi, honey. How was your
day? I can explain this.

There's no need to explain.
I know you love my mother
very much.

Yes. Exactly.

And Sebastian and I are
just getting close.

I know you'd never do
anything to break up our
happy home.

-Oh, no, never.
-So let's make sure it
stays happy.

I want you to take Mother to
Au Troquet for dinner
tomorrow night.

I'll make reservations at
8:00. At 8:45, an accordion
player will pass your table.

When he does, request
Under My Thumb by the
Rolling Stones.

Mick Jagger makes Mother
all hot and bothered.

-Jagger. Got it.
-While she's listening,

slip this on her finger,
then kiss her.
Eight seconds, no tongue.

Are you getting all this?
After dinner, grappa,
one glass,

then bring her home, make love
to her, two Viagra,
any questions?

Just in case, I've written it
all down for you.

Now, who's your favorite
daughter?

You are.

What a shame.

Morning!

Great day, isn't it?

Bite me, rich boy!

Ah, New York.
A wonderful town.

-MR. SHERMAN: You look
fabulous.
-DANIELLE: Thank you.

-MR. SHERMAN: You got
everything? You all set?
-DANIELLE: Yeah.

You ought to take some money,
just in case you need a cab,
miss the train.

Don't worry, Dad.
I'll be fine.

Come on, this is my job,
to worry, you know?

-What's wrong?
-Nothing. Just thought about
your mom.

-Go on. Have a good time.
-Okay.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Sebastian thought you'd like
it better than the train.

Wow.

I am so excited.
You know, I'm kind of nervous.

-I've never been on a horse
before.
-Don't worry.

I won't let anything bad
happen to you.

If I like it, then I'll have
Daddy buy me a horse.

Then we can spend
every weekend together.

You'll love it. I promise.

Ow.

Very good, Cherie.

Back on the horse now.
I think we're ready to try
advanced jumping.

I don't know.
He keeps throwing me off.

All right. If you're going to
be a scaredy-cat,

I guess we'd better go back to
the basics.

Manuella!

CHERIE: Nice horsey.

Okay. Now, using the stirrups,

I want you to push up and
down in the saddle.
That's called posting.

Now we need to add
the back and forth motion.

When you hit the saddle,
push backward, then forward.

Up and down, back and forth,
faster, faster.

Up and down, back and forth,
faster, faster.

Up and down, back and forth,
faster, faster.

Up and down, back and forth,
faster, faster.

Up and down, back and forth,
faster, faster.

Up and down, back and forth,
faster, faster.

Good. This time I want you
to really grind into the
saddle.

-Okay.
-Up and down, back and forth,

faster, faster.

CHERIE: Up and down, back
and forth, faster, faster.

-How does that feel?
-Okay.

Up and down.
I think I'm getting it.

-Posting is fun.
-Faster, faster.

Faster, faster, faster,
faster.

Really fun.

Are you okay?

I've never felt better.

Now I know why girls
like horses.

Wait.

I don't know if I'm ready
for this.

-It's cool.
-I'm sorry.

It's just that yesterday was
my first kiss

and now you're practically
touching my breast.

At this rate, your dick will
be in my mouth by lunch.

Anyone for lunch?

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Listen, Danielle, we can take
this as slow as you want.

I like you.
I've no need to rush things.

That's not my problem.
I want to rush things.

I'm tired of being the only
virgin in the sophomore class
at Manchester.

Are you telling me that
everyone in the sophomore
class has done it?

Well, it sure feels like it.

I don't know. Ever feel
like you're at war with
yourself?

-Constantly.
-I mean, there's one side of
me

that wants you to throw me
down right here and rip my
clothes off.

And then there's this other
side of me that thinks I
should wait till I'm married.

Which side should I choose,
Sebastian?

You really want me to
answer that?

Come on, be my friend.

Listen, Danielle...

I know exactly
what you're going through.

We all have two sides.
I struggle with my dark side
every day.

But that was the old me.

Believe it or not,
I have you to thank for it.

You showed me that it was
okay to be a decent person.

How dark was your past?

Pitch black.

Uh...I'm thinking...

I think
I'm falling in love with you.

But I'm afraid to take the
chance to get hurt.

-I'm afraid of getting
hurt too.
-Listen, let's make a pact.

We'll take it slow,
and we won't hurt each other.

God, we sound like a canceled
television series.

You don't have to do this.

I want to.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Hi, Daddy.
I know, I'm running late.

Tell Aunt Gloria we can
still make the 2:00 mass.

Yeah, I'll call you when I get
there. I love you too.

-You gotta go? It's okay.
-Sorry. Call me later?

-Sure.
-Okay.

-Toodles.
-Bye-bye.

Oh, my balls.

-Here's something you might
like.
-Dolce.

How '98 of you.
Do you carry any real fur?

No, all of our fur is faux.

Of course.
The animals...how silly of me.

I figured you'd be here.

-What's up?
-It's about Sebastian.

Give me the dirt.

Your stepbrother has
quite the checkered past.

I mean, the fact that he was
able to pay off that overnight
delivery guy

and switch his school file?

That's impressive
even by my standards.

-That's just the tip of the
iceberg.
-Well done.

Cash or charge?

-I'll be there in an hour.
-Sounds great.

The new James Van Der Beek
film's playing in town.

Perfect. You're sure your dad
won't mind?

No, he's out of town
for the night.
It's just me and Mr. Whiskers.

-"Mr. Whiskers"?
-My pussy, silly.

(CAT MEOWING)
Oh!

Okay, well, I'll see you soon.
All right. Bye.

The school virgin's home alone
with her pussy, and I'm taking
her to see Dawson.

God, I've become a total fag.

-I guess I misjudged you.
-What are you talking about?

How'd you get this?

I have my ways.

Kathryn, I'm trying to start
over...

Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah,
please.

Spare me any sob stories.

Oh, dear.
I guess something like this

could destroy your
squeaky-clean reputation at
Manchester.

And that school psychologist's
report about your mom...it's
too bad.

How will she pay for rehab
when I tell my Mommy where
some of her money's going?

You're playing with fire,
Kathryn.

Poor Sebastian's mom is going
to be

homeless and eating leftovers
out of the garbage.

You don't know what I'm
capable of.

Yes, I do.

I read your file.

It turns me on.

-Fuck off.
-Going to see Danielle?

Leave her out of it!

Looks like we've hit
a sensitive spot.

Do you really think
you can change, Sebastian?

Face it.
You and I are two of a kind.

We're just not cut out
for good deeds.

I know the drill.

You'll date Danielle,

probably sleep with her after,
what, you think eight months?

And then you'll get bored,
and you'll break her heart.

Why don't you
just spare her the pain?

And do what?
Date you?

We could make a good team.

What do you plan on doing
with my file?

Do I sense a merger in
the air?

Perhaps.

You do realize you're my
stepsister.

You know what they say about
incest.

Is there any line you won't
cross?

Only one.
Never in the butt.

That's a good line.

The Bradys never had it
so good.

-I can't do this.
-Not with your pants on.

-I gotta go.
-You fucking pussy!

-I gotta get outta this house.
-What, is this about Danielle?

You don't understand, Kathryn.
I love her.

You have a funny way of
showing it.

Fuck you. I'm not gonna let
you corrupt me.

Don't you see?
You can't change.

-I can try.
-Well, you're gonna
die trying.

-Hello?
-Hello, Danielle?

-Sebastian, you're soaking.
-We have to talk.

Well, come inside
before you give yourself
pneumonia.

Here.

Thanks.

What's wrong?

I don't know, it's...

It's okay. You can talk to me.
Go slow.

I just...
I feel like I'm losing it.

You know,
I gotta get outta New York.
I gotta get outta school.

It's Kathryn, isn't it?

I don't think I can beat her.

Sebastian, do you believe
in a higher power?

-Yeah.
-Do you believe that love
conquers all?

-Yes.
-Do you believe in our love?

Yeah. It's the only thing
keeping me together.

-So you believe in our love?
-Yes, I believe in our love.

'Cause I sure as hell don't.

What?

Fucking idiot.

Bravo.

-I told you I could do it.
-I should never have
doubted you.

Don't tell me you bought that
virgin bullshit.

No, I saw you.
You were with your dad...

What he doesn't know can't
hurt him.

I am the headmaster's
daughter.

Daddy's little angel must
keep up appearances.

-Holy fuck.
-DANIELLE: Oh, don't be such
a baby.

You didn't really think
you were gonna win, did you?

-You're welcome to join us.
-Hmm?

You know what they say,
two's company,
three's a fuck load of fun.

Well, if you can't beat 'em.

Who says you can't beat 'em?

Share and share alike.

Sebastian, now you'll have
something to write about.
Danielle.

Sebastian, now you'll have
something to write about.
Danielle.

Oh, shit!

-Are you okay?
-I'm fine.

Oh, you really should try
to be more careful.

Thank you.
Oh, my bike!

Could we offer you a
ride home?

Sorry. My mom said I'm not
allowed to take rides from
strangers. Oh, it's you.

I was just going
to Danielle's house.

-I'll take care of the bike.
-Okay.

-Oh, my God, thank you so
much. I owe you huge.
-No problem.

-It's Debbie, right?
-No, Cherie.

Whatever.

You know, Debbie, has anyone
ever told you you could be
a model?

-Really?
-Yeah.

-It's too bad you're not sexy.
-Bull! I can be sexy.

-Really?
-Uh-huh.

All right.
Show me sexy.

Very nice.

That's my special place.
Holy shit!

(CHERIE MOANING)